The Princess and the Wizard
By
UCSbdad
Disclaimer: There are Castles and castles in this, but I own neither. Rating: K Time: 1967 and elsewhen.
Author's note: To get a look at what Castle's unit looks like, go to http colon back slash back slash ctrp dash 3d dash 4thcav dot com backslash troop dot html Click on org chart.
"This oddly dressed man claims to be a great and powerful wizard, Victoria. Will you examine him?"
Victoria walked over to Castle and began mumbling under her breath and making odd movements with her hands. Then she turned to Princess Katherine.
"This man has no magic at all. Nor do any of his followers. Why, Alexis the Red has more power in the simple amulets I've made for her."
Alexis spoke before anyone could say a word.
"And yet this man with no magic was able to resist the Amulet of Obedience and kill King Malro and four of his family."
Victoria turned and recovered the amulet from the dead goblin king. She also got similar amulets from the other dead goblins. She examined them closely.
"They work perfectly. He should not be able to withstand their power. Even I would have to use all of my powers to do so."
"Then see if you can command him." Alexis said.
Victoria stood in front of Castle and held the five amulets up in front of him.
"Raise your right hand." She said, quietly.
"No." Castle said.
She moved to Kemper.
"Raise your right hand."
"Why don't you take that hunk of rock…"
Kemper was cut off by Castle.
"Just say no, Kemper."
"No."
She went to everyone of Castle's troops and got the same response. No one raised a hand.
"I cannot account for this, Princess Katherine. The amulets are working perfectly, but have no effect on these men."
"Make sure. Try it on Alexis the Red."
She did so and Alexis' right hand shot into the air.
"Just what kind of a wizard are you, Richard Castle?" The Princess demanded.
"We are soldiers from a far away land. In my homeland I am called a First Lieutenant of Armor, commanding an armored cavalry platoon. As you know, I have many powers. In my home I am not called a wizard, but apparently that's what I'm called here. And even if you cannot discern my powers, you have proof that I have them."
"I must agree with him, Princess." Said Victoria. "He may be so very different from us that we cannot observe his powers, but they are there none the less."
"Since he's gotten us in trouble with the Korovian Horde, he should help us fight them off. Can you do that, wizard, or whatever you're called?"
"Perhaps if I could get a look at this horde, I might have a better idea how to handle them?" Castle said.
Princess Katherine stared at him for a bit, then nodded.
"We'll go to the watchtower. Follow me."
She led them to a hallway to the left of the throne room and then up a very steep flight of stairs. As he was following right behind Princess Katherine, he noticed immediately that she had a spectacular ass.
They got to the highest point of the castle and the princess led them to the other side of the watchtower. She pointed towards a river.
Castle took out his binoculars and looked at the goblins. They were across a river, about four clicks away. They were standing shoulder to shoulder with their shields up and their spears grounded. He counted them twice to be sure.
"That's what you call a horde around here? I make it a row of fifty goblins, four ranks deep. Maybe two hundred of them."
"Have you ever seen goblins fight? They're worth…" the princess stopped. Of course, he'd seen goblins try to fight him. With very little success.
"Let me see what I can do."
He moved around to the other side of the tower so he could just barely see his platoon over the castle walls.
"What are those things you keep putting over your eyes?" Princess Katherine asked.
"Binoculars. You can see things better that are far away."
"May I see them?"
Rick handed the princess the binoculars.
"By the gods!" She said. "What kind of magic is this?"
"They have lenses in them that magnify…." Rick could see that he wasn't making any sense to the princess. "They work, okay?'
Rick walked around the watchtower, followed by Princess Katherine, Alexis, and his troops. He examined the ground around them and finally came to a decision.
"The land on this side of the river is one giant swamp up to about where my platoon is. If I take my platoon in there, they'll bog down for sure. And, between the swamp and this side of the river is a ridge. Looks like granite. If I use the tank's main guns, they'll have to shoot over the ridge and I'll bet they'll go right over our green friends."
"Does that mean you can do nothing, great wizard?" Princess Katherine asked acidly.
"No, it just means I have to be a little bit creative. Kemper, radio."
Kemper handed Rick the mic.
"Espo, do you copy?"
"Five by five, sir. What's happening? Over."
"I need you to move the platoon a bit. Can you see a grove of trees with one big tree to the right of it? Over."
"Roger that. Do you want the platoon there? Over."
"I do. I need to do a shoot with the mortar track. Since we don't have any maps, I'll need to do this the old fashioned way. When you're in position, let me know. Out."
The princess watched with interest as the steel wagons moved about. Soon they were in place.
"This is Charlie 19, you have a fire mission for me, sir? Over."
"Affirmative. Your target is a bunch of goblins about four clicks away, and maybe twenty degrees off magnetic north. I want you to shoot flares at first so I can talk you into the right range and deflection. Once the flares get the target properly, I want you to use HE and Willy Peter alternately. Are you ready? Over."
"Damn ready, sir. Over." There was a brief pause, then, "On the way."
The flare burst in the air about five hundred yards to the right of the goblins and three hundred yards short. Castle called in the corrections.
A goblin rushed out from the group and danced around, waving his arms at the flare as it floated to earth.
"That's their witch doctor." Said Princess Katherine. "He's not very impressed with your magic."
The second flare burst about fifty meters in front of the goblins.
"Up fifty and fire for effect. Over." Castle said.
The first high explosive shell hit the front rank of the goblins, decimating them.
For thousands of years, men have bunched up for safety. Neolithic hunters stood shoulder to shoulder with their flint headed spears out to ward off predators. Greek phalanxes did the same as did Roman legions. When heavily armored cavalry replaced infantry, they charged stirrup to stirrup. The Swiss pikemen and English archers who decimated armored knights moved as a solid mass. It was not until the advent of repeating rifles, machine guns and quick firing artillery that operating in mass became deadly. Even today, sergeants scream "Don't bunch up." at their men.
The goblins had learned the same lessons as ancient humans. Instead of spreading out when hit by the mortar shells, they closed ranks, insuring their destruction.
"Cease fire. Cease fire!" Castle yelled into the mic. The mortar shells stopped falling.
Princess Kate and even Alexis the Red stood in shock. Never had they seen so many goblins, or any other beings, killed so efficiently, or from such a great distance.
Doc Mellon spat over the side of the watchtower.
"Willy Peter makes you a believer." He said.
"Is this Willy Peter a…familiar of yours?" The princess asked, shaken by what she had seen.
"It's white phosphorous. It's a chemical, I guess you'd call it. Burns really, really good." Castle said.
"The ballistas mounted on the castle walls could not shoot so far. We have legends of great war machines from far in the past, but nothing like that." Princess Katherine said in awe.
"Our 81 millimeter mortar will shoot about a thousand yards further than we shot today." Castle suddenly grabbed the mic again.
"Charlie 19, this is Charlie 10. How much ammo do you have left? Over."
"Charlie 10, we started the day with 114 rounds of 81 mike mike. We now have 114 rounds."
"Somebody loves us. Charlie 10 out."
"Wizard, do you have any medical potions or spells?" The princess asked.
"I have Doc Mellon here. He's the platoon medic. In your terms that would mean he's just beginning his apprenticeship. He can treat some wounds that my people receive in battle. There are more skilled…medical personnel, but not with us. Why?"
"The evil Meredith the Mad somehow got past my mother's defenses and inflicted the living death on her. My older brother, who would have been the heir to the throne, was killed in battle with one of her minions trying to defend her. That's why my father is…"
Castle wanted to finish her sentence with the word "drunk" but decided to use the word, "Troubled?"
She nodded and smiled at Castle. She had a lovely smile.
"Does this Doc Mellon have any skills that would help my mother?"
Doc Mellon wanted to be a real MD one day and did all he could to learn more about medicine and to collect more medicines and instruments than the average platoon medic had. Castle turned to him.
"Any ideas, Doc?"
"No, sir. But I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a look at the lady."
Princess Kate led them back downstairs to the throne room and then down another passage. There they found a bare room with heavy curtains over the windows, keeping out the light. The only furniture was a bed surrounded by four small candles shedding very little light. On the bed was an older woman, still quite attractive, who appeared to be either asleep or dead. Kneeling by the woman was King James.
"What do you want here?" He screamed. "Get out. All of you, get out! Leave me in my grief."
"Father…" Princess Katherine began, but was cut off by her father.
"Out!" The king looked around. "Lanie! Where are you? Bring me more wine! Much more wine."
The Black woman approached with a jug and poured wine into the king's cup. He downed it in one gulp.
"More! More! There's never enough wine to drown my sorrows."
Doc whispered to Castle.
"I might be able to help him if all he wants is oblivion."
"How?"
Doc reached into his pack and brought out a bottle.
"Medicinal alcohol."
"A pint of Jack Daniels black? I didn't know they were handing that out to medics."
Doc shrugged and smiled.
"Sometimes the troops just need a little something, you know, to take the edge off. And, if our luck holds, he'll never run out. It'll just keep filling back up, just like our magazines or C rats."
"Is that all you have?" Castle demanded.
"I got a couple of more bottles. You a scotch or bourbon man?"
"See if he'll take it. It looks like the Black chick has had to go get more wine."
Doc approached the king.
"Um, your majesty, I have a little something here that might help."
"Some potion to make me forget, or to make me happy? I have taken every one that the best wizards can come up with. Nothing helps."
"This is alcohol, from back home. I thought you might like a little taste."
King James held out his cup and Doc poured three fingers into it. The king downed it in one gulp and began coughing.
"By the gods! What is that?"
TBC