The Princess and the Wizard
By
UCSbdad
Disclaimer: There are Castles and castles in this, but I own neither. Rating: K Time: 1967 and elsewhen.
Author's note: To get a look at what Castle's unit looks like, go to http colon back slash back slash ctrp dash 3d dash 4thcav dot com backslash troop dot html Click on org chart.
"Bourbon whiskey. It's about forty percent alcohol. Your wine is probably about twelve percent, most likely."
The king held out his cup again. As he drained it, more slowly, Lanie came back in.
"Here, "Doc said, handing the bottle to the Black woman. "He can drink this from now on."
When he walked back over to Castle, Doc whispered in his ear.
"When I gave the bottle to the Black lady, it was full again. In the long run, we aren't helping him any. But he can wreck his liver just as well on wine as on bourbon."
"Can you examine my mother, Queen Johanna now?" Kate asked.
"Take a look at the queen." Castle said.
Doc Mellon did the best he could, but he really wasn't trained or equipped for anything more than gunshot or fragment wounds and the occasional broken bone. He came back to Castle.
"I can see why they call it the living death, sir. Her heart rate is about two beats every three minutes, and her blood pressure is minimal. Her eyes are reactive to light, although very slowly. I have no idea what's wrong with her and I'm not sure a fully equipped hospital could help her. Sorry, sir."
Princess Katherine overheard the conversation.
"He cannot help?" She asked.
"Sorry." Castle said." The living death is unknown back home. I'm not sure anyone could treat it back there."
A page approached Princess Katherine.
"Your Highness, your father is…indisposed. The cooks want to know if you'll be wanting dinner for the court and our guests?"
"Wizard, would you and your men care to join us for dinner?"
Castle thought for a moment before answering.
"I can't get my vehicles into the castle, and I can't leave them unattended. Plus, it would be unfair to let part of my troops feast here and not the rest. We'll pass."
"Easily fixed, Wizard. We don't need to eat here in the palace, and I want to see your vehicles." She pronounced the last word very carefully.
"I accept then. But, my title back home isn't wizard, so how about you just call me Rick?"
"If I'm to call you Rick, then you should call me Kate. Okay?"
"Just fine, Kate."
Kate began giving orders to the palace staff and soon tables chairs and other items were headed for the vehicles. Rick took Kate for a tour of his platoon, explaining each vehicle to her and much of the different equipment the troops had.
There was an enormous blast of lightning and a crash of thunder just outside the platoon's perimeter.
"What was that?" Rick yelled.
"Meredith the Mad, again." Kate said angrily. "She's sent another one of her minions after us."
Rick went to the edge of the platoon's position. There, some hundred yards away was a man, a huge man, in armor, carrying a two-handed sword.
He began yelling at the humans.
"I am the Undead Demming! I cannot be killed, but I can kill. Yes, Princess Katherine, I killed your brother and all his knights. I tore his armor from his body and sliced off his manhood, then shoved it down his throat. It was a good death! For me, it was!" Undead Demming laughed and continued bragging about all the men he'd killed.
"Sergeant Tranh, who's your best RPG gunner?" Castle said.
"Sergeant Ky is best. Very good. Never miss. You want?"
"Get him and the RPG and some rockets here ASAP."
"What's this RPG?" Kate asked.
"Rocket propelled grenade." He saw that meant nothing to her. "You'll see."
Sergeants Tranh and Ky came running. Ky carried the RPG, and two more Kit Carson Scouts carried more rockets.
Ky looked at Undead Demming.
"Can't miss. He big. Three meters?"
"See if you can shut him up. He's beginning to bore me with how many men he's killed."
"Can do, Lieutenant."
Ky knelt and estimated the distance and wind. He was taking his time which didn't bother Castle at all. He wanted this right the first time.
He noticed that Kate was standing right behind Ky where she could be injured by the weapon's backblast. He pulled her away.
She glared at him.
"You could get hurt standing there. The weapon has a fiery backblast. You'll see."
Kate looked at the weapon, and then at Rick. Then she moved closer to him, leaning on him in fact. Castle decided he liked the way she leaned.
There was a loud bang as the RPG fired. The missile hit the Undead Demming squarely in the chest. The resulting explosion was far greater than anyone had expected. The helmet, apparently with the Undead Demming's head in it sailed high in the air. His armored arms flew to each side and his torso flew backwards. His armored legs stayed where they were until they slowly fell over.
"Nice shot." Castle said.
"Not good. Aimed twenty centimeters higher." Ky said.
They went forward to make sure the Undead Demming was…If not really dead, at least out of commission.
"He's rotting already." Said Doc Mellon.
"He was undead. Like zombies, I guess." Castle said.
As they watched, he continued to rot until only his bones remained and then they too disappeared. When the last vestige of Undead Demming were gone, his armor melted away and was also gone.
"I always did like some before dinner entertainment, but that was spectacular." Sergeant Esposito said. "What's for dinner?"
A feast was prepared for everyone. Castle sat next to Kate on one side and on the other was the kingdom's senior wizard, Mangus Colorado.
"I'm sorry we couldn't help your mother, Kate." Castle said around a mouthful of venison. "I can imagine how important a queen would be."
"Queen Johanna was more than just a queen, great wizard." Said Mangus Colorado. "She was the most powerful sorceress in the land. No one can understand how Meredith the Mad got past her defenses and inflicted the living death on her. It should not have been possible."
Castle had a sudden thought.
"If this Meredith brought us here and Queen Johanna is more powerful, could the queen send us back home?"
"I don't see how." Kate said. "She has no powers while suffering the living death and we have no idea how to bring her back to life."
"There are the Seven Great Mysteries, Princess Katherine." Mangus Colorado said.
"Those are just a myth. No one has actually seen even one of them in over a thousand years."
"But they are mentioned in all of the great books of wizardry. They're supposed to be able to cure the living death."
"Wait. There's something that could wake Queen Johanna up and maybe get us home?" Castle said.
"Theoretically. If they exist." Kate said.
"Then why don't we go after them. I'm willing."
"We're being attacked by Meredith the Mad and her minions. So far, you've kept them at bay." Kate said. "What would happen if you left?"
"So far, killing these clowns hasn't been that hard. Suppose I leave two tanks, a scout track section and the mortar track? That gives us a tank, two scout tracks, my infantry and Kit Carson Scouts and my command track to go find these mysteries. How about it?"
Kate was torn. She had an obligation to her kingdom, but she also wanted her mother to recover.
"Princess Katherine, the great wizard's idea seems sound." Said Mangus Colorado. "None of Meredith the Mad's minions have caused our friends the slightest problem."
"I'll think about it." Kate said.
She thought about it for three days before deciding to give Rick's idea a try.
"Great. I've put Esposito in charge here and told him to stay alert. Believe me, he will. So when can we leave?"
"I need to leave instructions to Lanie and Mangus Colorado as well as the rest of the castle staff. Regrettably, my father is hardly sober enough to understand what I say due to your bon-bons."
"Bourbon." Castle corrected.
"Whatever."
When it was time to leave, Castle found that Kate had decided to take Alexis the Red along. Alexis was dressed in her usual chain mail shirt with a helmet, leather shorts and stout boots. She was armed with a recurved bow as well as her usual sword and dagger. She had a round shield slung over her back with something that looked like a bright red lion painted on it.
Princess Katherine was also wearing a chain mail shirt and a helmet. She also wore leather shorts that showed off her long, lithe and lovely legs quite nicely. She too was armed with sword, dagger and a recurved bow, but she also had a mace tucked into her belt. Her shield was white with a stylized golden crown painted on it.
In spite of the fact that the platoon's rations and water never seemed to give out, they each had a back pack filled with food, water, spare clothing and magical items.
Castle looked at the two of them.
"You're using bows and arrows?"
"Do you know someone who uses bows without arrows?" Kate asked, a bit confused.
"No, but I think I should teach you how to fire our weapons. We have a couple of spare AK 47s you can have. We'll try to teach you how to use them. Remember, these are deadly weapons. Be careful."
Alexis bridled at that.
"We have both been trained with deadly weapons since we were children. You don't need to treat us like we're children."
"Sorry. Bad choice of words. What I should have said is that these are different from any weapons you've ever seen and can kill you in ways you may not have thought about. Okay?"
Their small unit left the castle and headed north, paralleling the river for a while, then the river turned north and they left it behind.
Rick, Kate and Alexis rode in, or rather on, the command track, sitting on the opened roof hatch. Pappy Brown's tank led the unit, followed by a scout track, then Castle's command track, the infantry track and finally the other scout track. The tracks were all crowded since Castle had taken all of the Vietnamese scouts along.
"Tell me about the first place we're going again?" he yelled over the sound of the engine.
"It's the Cave of Dolom at the bottom of the Pit of Astorkal. We're after the Great Golden Egg, which is guarded by at least one giant crystal spider."
"At least one?" Castle asked.
"As far as I know, no one in the last thousand years who's gone in there has ever come out to tell the tale."
"How big to giant crystal spiders get?"
Kate raised an eyebrow.
"Big enough to be called giants."
They passed through little villages which eventually gave way to scattered farms. Then there were no more farms to be seen, just riders herding cattle of some sort.
They stopped before dusk and set up their night defensive position. Castle decided to start teaching Kate and Alexis about firearms. He showed them how an AK 47 worked, although he doubted they really understood it. He stressed gun safety over and over until he could see he was losing the two women. Then, hoping he was doing the right thing, he decided he'd let them fire a few rounds. He set the selector on semi-auto, then told Kate to cock the weapon, aim and fire. He pointed to a tree about a hundred yards away.
"Aim for the middle of that tree."
She pulled the rifle into her shoulder, aimed and fired five rounds, hitting the tree exactly once.
"Okay, stop." Castle said. "You're not used to the recoil and you're not controlling the weapon. You'll do better next time."
Alexis the Red went next. She fired much slower than Kate did, but hit the tree four out of five times.
"Pretty good, right?" She said.
"You'd make a straight leg National Guardsman look good." Rick said. The rest of the unit laughed, but Rick refused to explain the joke.
TBC