The Princess and the Wizard
By
UCSBdad
Disclaimer: There are Castles and castles in this, but I own neither. Rating: K Time: 1967 and elsewhen.
Author's note: To get a look at what Castle's unit looks like, go to http colon back slash back slash ctrp dash 3d dash 4thcav dot com backslash troop dot html Click on org chart.
Castle was laughing when he grabbed his mic.
"Maybe instead of singing, we can try things Pappy's way."
As soon as he said it, he wondered how a princess would take that kind of language. He found that Princess Kate had quite an effective vocabulary.
They managed to drive along with no further problems, although Castle still was having flashbacks to horrible things that had happened to him.
Then Pappy Brown's tank stopped.
"LT, this is Pappy. I'm at the bridge. You might want to take a look at it."
Castle had his command track drive up besides the tank and he got out. Kemper get out with him as did Kate and Alexis.
"It's still standing, but it ain't the best bridge I ever saw." Pappy pointed at the bridge.
It was a suspension bridge, perhaps a thousand yards long. Castle could see some small holes in the roadway and the cables between the towers were frayed in places.
"What kind of traffic uses this, Kate." He asked.
"Foot traffic, horses and wagons. Nothing the size of your vehicles."
"Shit. Okay, I'll take the command track across first. Pappy's tank will be last."
Specialist Borden stuck his head out of the driver's hatch of the track.
"Sir, I bet you haven't driven a track since OCS, right? You need me to drive. I could take Charlie across that bridge backwards and with one eye closed."
"Maybe, but I'm driving."
"Sir?" Pappy said softly. "He's right. You're not the best driver here by far. Something happens, you see it, you figure it out and you do something. Maybe by the time you do something, it's too late. Borden, he sees something wrong, and he reacts. We gotta use our best people for the jobs they're good at."
"Shit." Castle said, disgustedly. "Okay, Borden you drive, but I'll man the fifty in the cupola. Take everything we can get out of the track and the crew will have to hump it across. Same with the other tracks. Unload all you can and have one man drive it across. One at a time. Pappy, you and Killer will go last. I sure hope the bridge holds you."
Pappy laughed.
"You hope so? Me too."
They unloaded the track and Borden drove the track carefully onto the bridge. The dismounted crew followed when the track was halfway across the bridge.
"Borden, there's a hole in the roadway to the right."
"I see it, sir. No worries."
The bridge creaked as they crossed, and Castle thought he heard something fall off of the bridge and into the water far below. But they got across.
Next came a scout ACAV which drove very slowly but made it across with the crew following.
Then it was the turn of Sergeant Wiggins' infantry track, Bad Mother. It got about halfway across and stopped. Wiggins ran to the track and got in. In a minute he was on the radio.
"The driver freaked out. I got him in back and I'll drive the rest of the way."
Wiggins drove slowly but made it across with his squad following on foot.
The last ACAV made it across with no problems.
"This is the big one." Castle said, as Pappy Brown's tank began crossing. The bridge creaked and groaned, but Pappy and his crew made it across.
"I just hope we didn't overstrain the bridge crossing." Castle said.
"We'll find out on the way back, sir." Brown said with a smile.
"Okay, I can see the end of the fog not too far away. Let's get the hell out of here."
"Roger that." Pappy said.
They drove until about an hour before sundown and set up for the night. Castle checked the troopers that had come apart in the City of the Dead. They all reported they were all right. Doc agreed.
Castle went back to his track where Kate was making dinner.
"Somehow we both got spaghetti and meatballs tonight. Is that all right?" She asked.
"Sure. I always liked Italian."
Kate stared at him, but said nothing. He said all sorts of odd things and one day she might figure out what they meant.
"We're you frightened?" She asked suddenly.
"I was. I kept reliving a time when a dead body fell on me and my first ambush in Vietnam. All I could see were tracers and I thought every one of them was headed straight for me."
Kate nodded. At least she knew what tracers were.
"We're you scared?" He asked.
"I kept seeing my mother when the living death hit her. She was losing all of her abilities and no one could do anything."
They ate and shortly after they were through, darkness fell.
"I want to go check the perimeter." Castle said, grabbing his M16 and walking away.
When he came back, be found Kate was all wrapped up in two bearskins. One under her and one over her. Castle began to wrap himself in his poncho liner, his beloved woobie.
"It'll be cold tonight, this close to the City of the Dead." Kate said. "You could get in with me. There's lots of room."
"I'm not sure…I think…Since you're…" Castle babbled.
Kate giggled.
"I'm fully dressed except for my armor. And I promise I won't do anything to you."
Castle got under the bearskin with her and then pulled the woobie over them. He found he liked sleeping next to Kate. She liked sleeping next to him, too.
The next morning, over breakfast, Kate reminded him of where they were headed for next.
"Kong? That's the name of the place? What do we need to get there?"
"The statue of the Great Sea Demon. It's said to be very powerful."
"I'm going to assume they just won't happily hand it over. What are we going to have to do to get it?"
"I don't know. The sacred books aren't always complete after all the years."
"Yeah. Vampires in a library. Talk about not wanting to have an overdue library book. Well, maybe the fine folks at Kong will be happy to have us take it off their hands."
They hadn't been on the road for more than an hour the next morning when they came to a bridge. The column stopped. Rick, Kate, Alexis, Pappy and Kemper dismounted to examine the bridge.
"Think it'll hold us?" Castle asked.
"Of course, it'll hold you." Said a low growling voice. From under the bridge there came a huge humanoid. he was tall and quite heavy, and not all of the weight was muscle. It appeared he was wearing a shaggy animal pelt, but he was so hairy that it was hard to tell where the pelt left off and he began. Castle couldn't tell if he had naturally grey skin or if that was dirt. He did know that an orthodontist could have gotten rich off those snaggly teeth.
"Who are you?" Kate asked.
"Who am I? Why I'm Reggie the toll troll. You need to pay me to cross my bridge."
"How much?"
"One hundred gold pieces for each of your wagons."
Kate whispered to Rick.
"I don't have anywhere near that much gold."
"Me either." He whispered back.
"Is there another way across the river?" Kate asked,
"Sure. The Jollyman Ford, just thirty miles upstream. But you'll probably have to wait a few months before the water level goes down enough for you to cross."
Rick, Kate, Alexis and Kemper were stuck. Luckily, Pappy Brown wasn't.
"Sir, there's no point in even trying. That rickety bridge isn't strong enough to take the tracks, let alone my tank. We'd just end up in the river, like the last time."
"The last time?" Reggie asked. "What last time?"
"A couple of weeks ago we tried to cross a bridge much like this one and it collapsed. My boss here, the great wizard Rick Castle, had to spend the whole day levitating the lost track out of the river. All the time the toll troll kept whining it wasn't his fault."
"Who was the troll?" Reggie demanded.
"Can't recall his name, but he was smaller than you, not as muscular and no where near as good looking."
"George!" Reggie cried. "It was that rascal George. I always knew his bridge was useless."
"Maybe." Pappy said, "but you'll understand we're a little hesitant to cross a bridge like that after the fiasco with George."
"You have nothing to worry about. This is not only a well-built bridge, but I had a wizard put a special strengthening spell on it."
"Mind if I have a look?" Castle asked. "As a wizard, I do like to inspect other wizard's work."
"Be my guest."
Castle walked to the edge of the bridge and tapped it with his foot.
"Hmm." He said.
He took a few steps onto the bridge and bounced up and down a few times.
"Uh, oh." He said and quickly jumped back off the bridge.
"What?" Reggie asked.
"Reggie, I hate to tell you this, but you have a defective spell here. It's actually weakening the bridge. See for yourself."
Reggie walked onto the bridge, but only by a few steps.
"I don't feel anything."
"Exactly." Said Castle. "Now about this other wizard. Did he have two official wizard amulets?" Castle pulled out his dog tags and rattled them.
"Well, he didn't show me any. I mean he might have had some." Reggie wailed.
Castle pulled out his Army ID card.
"Did he show you his identification card? You can see mine has my picture on it, so you can tell I'm a real wizard."
Reggie was beginning to cry.
"He didn't have one. He just said he was a wizard."
"Reggie, I know what your problem is. You're just too nice a guy. You're too trusting and bad people take advantage of you."
Reggie wiped his nose on his arm.
"Mom always said that about me. Too trusting. That's what she said."
"You should always listen to your mom." Castle said.
Reggie nodded.
"As a professional wizard, I can't allow this substandard wizarding to continue. I'm going to have to repair it. Now, ordinarily, a spell like this would cost you a thousand gold pieces."
"That's all I have?" Reggie wailed.
"But, since you've already been taken advantage of, I'll cut my price in half. Five hundred gold pieces. That'll leave you with some gold, right?"
Reggie brightened.
"I know. I'll let you cross for free and we'll be even."
"Reggie, you're a genius. Why didn't I think of that?"
"Mom always said I was the smart one."
"And she was right. Now, please stand back so I can work."
Castle stood on the end of the bridge and began making the football referee's signals: Off sides; delay of game; touchdown; safety; first down; personal foul; holding; and intentional grounding. All the time he sang.
"You ain't nothin' but a bad bridge,
"Shaking all the time,
"You couldn't carry a rabbit,
"And you ain't no friend of mine.
"I'm making you high class,
"And that's not a lie,
"You're Reggie's good bridge now,
"And you'll always be one."
"There you go, Reggie. You've got the best bridge around. Much better than that George's broken bridge."
"Thanks. You're a great wizard, sir. You can use my bridge for free any time you want."
"That's mighty nice of you, Reggie, and we'll be sure to tell everyone about how good your bridge is."
The column got under way again and crossed the bridge. Reggie waved at everyone and they waved back.
When they were a mile away, Castle looked back at Reggie.
"I feel like Bugs Bunny after taking advantage of Elmer Fudd."
"One of these days you'll have to explain what these things you say really mean. Unless you're just taking nonsense to confuse me."
He smiled at Kate.
"As soon as we're done here, I'll be happy to talk all you want."
TBC