The novelization of Super Mario Bros. USA
By brown_pickup_truck
Chapter 2
In World Two, Level Three, Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad were making their way across the sandy floor of a pyramid. It was dimly lit but much cooler than the outside. Ahead was a locked door. Mario brushed the sand off his shoulders and Princess Peach fanned herself. Toad removed his large mushroom hat and Luigi sat down. "That heat outside was relentless!" Mario remarked. Toad pointed at the locked door ahead and said, "Look!" Princess Peach whined, "Great, another outing with Phanto." Mario grinned, trying to cover a chuckle, saying, "Oh, he's not so bad, once you get to know him." A body-sized mass of twinkling lights appeared from above and descended upon them. They all watched, curiously.
The brightly shining figure touched down in front of them, revealing itself to be a kimono wearing Shyguy. Her robes were gray with a black belt wrapped around her waist. A rectangular medallion hung from her neck with stamped text that said, "Shyguy; Job Class: Monk; Rank: Corporal." Suddenly, a flowing and dreamy image of King Wart appeared overtop the Shyguy. Wart's claws breached through the image and gently wrapped themselves over the Shyguy's shoulders. He then looked at the red plumber and stated, "You've had your victories. Now come and get me, Mario." Wart laughed, the wavy-like image of him slowly disappearing. The Shyguy's eyes brightly lit up within the mask.
"I'll handle this. You guys need to dig and find the key. It's below us, somewhere." Mario commanded the others. Luigi nodded and said, "Be here when we get back, brother." Toad questioned, "Why don't we all take her on together?" Princess Peach interjected, "Because this isn't Birdo. Can't you sense her power level? We're going to need him to hold her off so we can escape through the door." Toad reluctantly accepted this answer. Each of the three then held out their hands, a shovel materializing into each. Luigi planted his spade into the sand and the other two followed suit. They quickly made progress, disappearing into the vertical tunnel they created. Mario directed his eyes back to the Shyguy, now feeling very alone.
The Shyguy spread her legs comfortably apart in the sand. She placed her clenched hands up at her sides, mid-chest, and then opened her right hand. The corporal then brought that right hand across her waist to her left side and then circled the hand up over her head. She made a fist with her right hand and moved it across to her right side while opening her left hand. The Shyguy then completed a waist-level palm strike in front of her. She then circled her right fist around her waist and brought her left hand up to form a block. Essentially, the corporal positioned herself in a Tai Chi stance. She then stopped, watching Mario.
Mario took a boxing stance, with his fists up, guarding his face. "And here I thought Birdo was defacto mid-boss in these parts," Mario quipped. "Fix… the Dream Machine," the Shyguy spoke, perfectly mimicking Mouser's voice. "Nani?" Mario slightly lowered his fists, dumfounded. The Shyguy took advantage of this opportunity, now striking Mario dead center of the chest. He flew backward, without falling, leaving a long trail in the sand. Mario dropped to a knee, holding the area where he was struck. "I'm sorry, but your princess is in another castle," The Shyguy spoke, once again perfectly mimicking a voice, this time being that of Toad. Shyguy resumed her monk fighting stance, hyper-focused on Mario.
Luigi, Toad, and Peach continued to dig, having swiftly progressed into the earth. The three stopped for a moment to rest, each sweating profusely. A Starman slowly rose from the sand beneath them and smiled. It glowed with beautiful red and golden colors. "Don't touch it!" Luigi cried and stood up. "Starman! My brother needs your help!" He cupped his hands underneath the Starman, staring into its benevolent eyes. The Starman blinked and smiled. Luigi brought his hands upwards, coaxing the Star upwards through the ceiling of the vertical shaft. It ascended, streaming a trail of yellow light behind it. The three looked at each other with hope. Toad then turned towards the wall behind him, opting to go horizontal now. The others joined in, all of which felt the same urge to dig in a different direction, although none of them knew why, nor did they need to articulate it to one another.
"I don't like mind games." Mario stood up and brushed himself off. The Shyguy nodded and responded with a young feminine voice, "Alright. I won't do that again." She dashed towards him, throwing a strike at his face, but Mario blocked with his right arm. A loud thud echoed throughout the pyramid. The two paused for a moment, their appendages touching. Mario searched the mask and asked, "Why do you hate me so much?" The Shyguy threw her knee forward, striking Mario in the chest once again. He groaned, stepping backward. "I never said that I did, Mario." She marched forward, sending a barrage of blurred fists Mario's way, all of which heavily struck the plumber. Mario stumbled backward, almost falling into the hole that his friends had made some time ago. Suddenly, a bright yellow light shone behind him. It lit up the pyramid, casting Mario's shadow across the walls. He turned to see it.
Luigi, Toad, and Peach breached through the sand wall into a hidden room containing a door. "Finally..." said Luigi, exhausted. "We've got to move! Your brothers still up there fighting!" Peach turned the knob and opened the door, letting Luigi and Toad go first. The three entered a large brick room, with a levitating platform. A body-sized key awaited them atop a platform. Phanto masks lined the walls. "Creepy," said the Princess. "We know what we have to do," Luigi stated as he moved forward, but Toad cut in front of him, stating: "I'm the strongest here. Let me do my part now." Toad leaped atop the platform and effortlessly picked up the heavy key. One of the Phanto masks shook violently and broke off the wall. "It's time to go. You know the drill! Remember, Mario needs us!" Luigi shouted.
Starman blinked, levitating over the shaft. Mario reached his hand out, grazing it across Starman's face, but not touching it. He turned and looked at the Shyguy. She shrugged and responded quite plainly, "Let's finish this, Mario." The corporal resumed her original Tai Chi stance, but something was different about her now. "Have it your way," Mario growled, touching the Starman. The wear and tears in the fabric of his suspenders repaired themselves. His scrapes and cuts disappeared. Mario began to glow with Starman's trademark colors. The Shyguy responded with her One Shot-Kill Move, shouting, "HUNDRED FISTS!" She charged Mario, her fists a constant and unending blur, that which the plumber's eyes could not follow. Each punch connected with Mario's chest like a jackhammer. She kicked and kicked again, throwing combos and fierce punches, but Mario just stood there. Nothing was hurting him.
Toad dashed through the door and into the shaft with Phanto close on his heels. He wall kicked up the shaft, going from side to side, narrowly dodging the Phanto in his ascent. "You want it? Catch!" Toad lobbed the key towards Phanto, who quickly disappeared. Peach caught the heavy key, still quite a way down. Her heels pressed deeper into the sand with the newfound weight, and she began to lose traction. "Luigi, I'm falling!" Peace cried out. Phanto's mask surfaced through the sandy wall beside her, and its eyes glowed a fierce crimson. "GIVE ME THE KEY, NOW!" Luigi motioned to Peach, who lobbed towards him. He caught it, and wall kicked off the Phanto, continuing up the shaft. Peach regained her footing and quickly pursued Luigi. "Toad!" Luigi yelled, using all his strength to toss the key up the shaft with an underhanded throw. It gleamed and spun in the air as it soared towards the young mushroom retainer. "You do your part every day, buddy," Luigi said calmly. Toad's eyes widened as the key approached him.
"HAAAAAAAAAA!" Yelled the undeterred Shyguy, who continued her massive assault against Mario. The plumber quietly lifted his hand and placed it on her shoulder. She froze in mid-air as Starman's electricity flowed through every part of her body. "UHNNNNNN" Shyguy cried out in pain, with rips and tears forming all over her kimono. Her medallion sparked and jumped amidst the current. Mario then removed his hand and stepped back. Starman's power was fading away. Everything went quiet and the Shyguy fell to both of her knees. She let out a painful cry and held her chest. Glitter and sparkles spilled from the various cuts and scrapes in her robes. Tears streamed through the eyeholes in her mask. Just then, Toad proudly surfaced from the shaft. "Mario, we're here!" He exclaimed, the heavy key under his shoulder.
Luigi and Peach surfaced next. "MARIO! Are you okay!?" Peach asked. Phanto gradually rose out of the shaft to find Toad inserting the key into the door. Toad turned it, unlatching the lock. "Phanto… I'll miss you.." The Shyguy spoke, some of her kimono beginning to fade into oblivion. Mario knelt and held her. An unusual breeze picked up inside the pyramid, beginning to pull the Shyguy's sparkles and glitter with it. "Mario…do you know why we brought you here?" The Shyguy spoke, a mixture of crying and pain in her voice. Luigi, Peach, and Toad watched, having missed the context of what happened. "No, I don't," replied Mario. Phanto brushed against the Shyguy, remaining silent. "I…only have so much time, the spell is fading." She reached up with her weakened hand and unclasped her mask, revealing a Subcon's face.
What should have revealed a stunning fairy's face did not. The Starman had taken its toll. "What are you?" Mario asked, feeling a sudden well of guilt overcoming him. "I am one of many Subcon fairies that inhabit all the Seven Worlds of Subcon. We are its caretakers and maintain the Dream Machine." Luigi asked, "What is the Dream Machine?" She responded, "It allows us to create dreams. This land is where your nighttime thoughts, imaginings, ideas, and visions come to life." Peach spoke up, "But Wart has it now, doesn't he?" The Shyguy coughed, expelling a magical glitter-like fluid onto the sand. The breeze became a wind now and the Shyguy's mask disappeared altogether. "My time is almost up." She broke the medallion off her neck and weakly held it up. "You're strong, Super Mario. Far stronger than Wart." Mario accepted the medallion and she disappeared; her essence being taken away with the wind.
Mario stood there, holding back tears, gripping the medallion. He trembled with a mixture of anger and guilt. A significant and hideous roar echoed throughout the pyramid and beyond, violently shaking the door and causing the sand to move about. "Tryclyde…" Toad listened. Peach hugged Mario, stating, "You did what you had to here. If it wasn't for you, we may not have made it past her alive." Mario, temporarily in a different state of mind, did not acknowledge her affection or statement. "Let's free Tryclyde from Wart's spell." He stepped forward. Toad nodded and opened the door. The four made their way through the door, with Mario leading the way. Phanto descended into the shaft, stating, "I am reminded how hollow the label of leadership sometimes is and how heroic fellowship can be… great work, Mario."
Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Princess Peach entered a long hallway and encountered four red Shyguys shortly thereafter. They stood in the center of the four's path and beside one another. The first Shyguy addressed the four, stating, "We represent the will of King Wart. Go back now, or nightmares will await you." Each of the Shyguys took a basic fighting stance. Mario acknowledged their presence and replied, "The time has come for a change in World Two, but all Subcon as well. You are the bully. You are the nightmare." Each of the four charged forward, engaging the enemies. Mario picked the leader up and threw him into another Shyguy, both of which disappeared. Peach managed to kick another Shyguy into the remaining Shyguy, while Toad and Luigi held the former in place. Again, both enemies disappeared. Mario dusted off his gloves. "Let's go. This is the home stretch before Tryclyde."
The four charged forward, coming across a tall mound of sand. Two pink Shyguys with spears leaped off the mound and landed in front of the four. A Panser sat atop the mound, laughing maniacally. It let out a barrage of fireballs into the air that landed all over the place. Toad remarked, "They're getting stronger with each world progression." Peach and Luigi held out their hands and shovels materialized in them. Peach, Luigi, and the two Shyguys locked weapons against one another. "How far did you really think you were going to get?" Asked the first Shyguy. "Resist all you want. We all know where this ends," Said the second Shyguy. "Not where you think!" Toad responded, now lifting both Shyguy's up from behind, holding them by their collars. Both stopped moving and Toad banged them together, each disappearing.
While the others were fighting, Mario snuck his way up the mound. Once reaching the top, he found himself face to face with Panser. "OMG! You aren't supposed to be up here!" said the Panser. Mario grabbed up the plant and choked its stalk, saying, "You'll make a fine weapon." He pointed her towards some Cobrats ahead. The Panser shrieked, "You creep! GET OFF ME!" She let out a barrage of fire, incinerating the Cobrats. Mario tightened his grip on the plant. "Do what I say, and I'll keep you around longer." Panser teared up and stopped speaking, realizing what she had done. "The Hawk is just ahead, Mario," Luigi said calmly. "Will you be bringing your new Tommy Gun, Mario?" Peach said flirtatiously. "Only if you bring the spades." The four smiled and the Hawk's mouth opened just ahead. The four piled in, one after the other.
Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Peach descended upon a green bricked room. The ceiling was exceptionally high, and fog covered a great depth of the area. Several levitating platforms were scattered about the room. "Alright Tryclyde, come on out!" Yelled Mario as he pet the Panser he was holding, which appeared comically terrified. Peach and Luigi spun their spades, which glinted in the green light. Toad scanned the room, observing several stacked Mushroom Blocks at its center. Suddenly, what appeared to be a massive Cobrat rose from the fog. It had one face and stood two stories high. Tryclyde let out a menacing growl and sought out Mario, extending to meet him face to face. The massive snake flicked its tongue several times, examining the power levels of the four heroes before him. "HISSSSS….I am the General of World Two, Level Three," Tryclyde stated with contempt in his voice. Mario reached into his overalls, producing Corporal Shyguy's medallion.
Tryclyde sucked a large volume of air in, and its mouth opened. His eyes turned bright red and he reeled back, evidentially angered. "HISSSSSS… I am aware of my Corporal's defeat. You have robbed me of my soldier. NOW I WILL ADMINISTER JUSTICE UPON YOU!" A red aura encircled Tryclyde and the fog parted. Two more heads grew out of Tryclyde, just as menacing as the first. All three rose now, exposing Tryclyde in his full glory. "I know this isn't the real you," Mario yelled, still holding out the medallion. Tryclyde's scales reflected over the corporal's medal. "YOU CAN JOIN HER!" Cried Tryclyde as he unleashed a volley of fire like the four had never seen. Toad stood behind a Mushroom Block, whereas Luigi and the Princess blocked the flames with their spades. Mario never moved, rather, he pointed the Panser in Tryclyde's direction and unleashed a fury of his own. Their fire connected midway between each other, with loud crackles and searing heat.
"Mario has given us an opening. We need to act now!' Luigi yelled, trying to speak over the roar of the fire. The princess yelled back, "Tryclyde is so POWERFUL! What can we do!?" By this time, most of the floor was covered in flames and the bricks were glowing red. Peach's dress was disintegrating. Bits of fire chewed at Luigi's cap and shirt. Their shovels were glowing red and beginning to melt. Toad, however, was mostly unfazed, as the Mushroom Blocks provided him cover. He pulled one from the stack and looked at Luigi and Peach, shouting, "If we don't attack now there won't be another chance!" Up above, Tryclyde's volley of fire was overtaking Mario's. "Panser, why are you holding back?" Mario calmly asked, the heat singing his face. Chunks of molten lava and flames descended from where Mario and Tryclyde's fire blasts met. "He is under the same spell that you are. Without your help, I can't set Subcon free," Mario stated, still calm and composed.
Panser looked into Mario's eyes and teared up. "Goodbye, Mario." Her entire body began to flash, with magical circulatory fluid pouring out of her stalk and leaves. Her flower blossomed fully now, unleashing her true power, a comet of fire that overpowered Tryclyde's blast. The massive three-headed snake reeled back, now engulfed in flames. Each of Tryclyde's heads let out a very loud and distressful sound. Panser disappeared from Mario's gloves. "Thank you." Mario quietly said, watching the glitter spill out of his hands. From below, however, his friends pushed forward, with Peach and Luigi fiercely planting their spades into Tryclyde's chest. Sparkling fluid gushed out, now flooding the room. Tryclyde cried out in pain. He was confused, scared, and cornered. Toad reached back and tossed a Mushroom Container into Tryclyde, delivering the final blow.
All the fires ceased simultaneously. The heat lifted, and a refreshing breeze entered the area. One by one, each of Tryclyde's heads fell to the floor, creating resounding thuds upon touching down. Sparkles and glitter flew over the circulatory fluid. Two of Tryclyde's faces closed their eyes and never opened them again. The beast let out a sorrowful moan. Mario hopped down from the platform and stood next to Tryclyde. Peach and Luigi dropped their shovels and joined him. Toad followed suit. Mario caressed Tryclyde's head. "I'm sorry, I know now that this isn't the real you." He said solemnly. Tryclyde watched him, his eyes now their normal black. "You really came down here to get me…I was worried you would never come." Tryclyde responded, weakly. "I wouldn't have missed meeting you for the world, General," proclaimed Mario.
A melody played in the distance, with a door suddenly appearing in the middle of the room. "Wart is hiding in World Seven, Level Two…goodluck," Tryclyde stated, before disappearing underneath Mario's hand.
Authors Notes:
Phanto's quote was from Warren Bennis.