Chapter 23: Pax
Alpheridies
Pax spent most of the day laying back in his hospital room bed. Awake, but far too delirious to do anything productive. The first bit of excitement he experienced was when Higil dropped by for a visit.
"Here is your datapad, sir," Higil murmured enthusiastically in his Mon Calamari voice.
"Thank you Higil," Pax groaned his voiced slurred from his heavy doses of pain killers. His head still felt like it was on fire as he sat up. The Duros stared at the door, confused for a moment as to where Higil was. Huh. He must have gone, he reasoned, holding the datapad firmly in his blue hands.
Pax had now been awake for several hours. He felt his mind wandering much less than usual, but his voice was slurry.
Jazal and Oc'nel were having Higil run errands up and down the space elevator to Alpheridies station. His deputy, Kier, was now helping Reyl get around Fospol.
The Duros wanted to retake control of his command, but Oc'nel was doing an acceptable job thus far and Pax knew, on an intellectual level, that he was going to be in the hospital for at least a week. Perhaps when I feel better, I can still do administrative work from this end.
The interior of the hospital was the only non-Miraluka-looking interior Pax had seen since the Cantina. On the inside, it could be mistaken for a hospital anywhere in the Core, except that it lacked windows. The Miraluka nurses had been kind enough to set up one of the few HoloNet terminals for beings with eyesight in his room.
At the news, Pax was incensed. On Antar 4, fifteen Judicials and SBI personnel had been killed in combat fighting Gotal Assembly insurgents. His team, on the other hand, was brought out of action by a bar fight. We have failed at taking shore-leave. He had nearly been killed—in a bar fight.
His sister Cerei had called shortly after he woke up. Before asking Pax if he was okay, before asking Pax anything else, she had asked what he could do for kriffing Awerl. That blasted Wookiee. Since then, Pax had terminated several of Cerei's attempted calls without answering. I am never going to speak with her again, he told himself. He knew he probably would eventually, but definitely not to save Awerl. That blasted Wookiee and Averross can rot.
Pax turned on his datapad and hit the encrypt button. It was obvious from the news on his hospital HoloTerminal that the Galaxy was quickly destabilising. Pax needed to find out just how much.
The datapad Pax was using did not have access to the Senate Bureau of Intelligence or Judicial Intelligence network, only summaries of classified briefings and reports. He also had access to unclassified paid reports from Alya Analytics, a state-owned Bothan company that the Alya Clan used to sell information to offworlders—information authorised for release by the Spynet.
Most mainstream media outlets also had paid subscriptions to this service so important reports that appeared on it were more or less tomorrow's news. The more boring reports were food for investors.
One report in particular caught Pax's attention: INCREASED VIOLENCE IN THE KASHYYYK SYSTEM. TRADE FEDERATION REACTION EXPECTED. Kriffing Wookiees was Pax's first thought. He shook his head furiously.
Clicking on the report prompted a Bothan face to appear. The brown furred Bothan wore a black human suit with a dark purple tie. He had dyed his mane the same black-purple colour as his tie, giving him a very posh and effeminate look. He spoke Basic fluently with a Core-sounding accent, opening his mouth very wide to produce all of the vowels in a human-sounding voice, flashing his sharp teeth with every wide-mouthed syllable. I wonder where he learned to talk like that from.
"This is Kaleb Arany'lya of Alya Analytics. This feed is only intended for subscribers to Alya Analytics and our partners. Any distribution without a Media Fee or express authorisation by Clan Alya is in violation of Bothan, Hutta, and Republic intellectual property statutes. Violators will be subject to account termination, lawsuit, and potential criminal charges. Remember: Bounty Hunting is against the Bothan Way. A Bounty, on Bounty Hunters who abuse our service, is the only one that we will pay. Any use of this service by beings employed in Bounty Hunting is strictly prohibited. Bounty Hunters who gain access to this service will be subject to extreme termination by the Bounty Hunter Guild. By clicking 'Agree' you agree to our user agreement."
Despite having seen the disclaimer many times, Pax laughed hard at the "Bothan Way… Pay" rhyme—far more humorous when on painkillers. He then clicked agree and the report appeared.
"Footage released by the Trandoshan police indicates that a Wookiee strike-force was responsible for the deaths of Trade Federation executives Sib Char and Ragrap Nox, as well the Sorenno's chief Ambassador Jerec Dooku. Video attached."
Pax clicked on the video and gasped. A room full of muddy Wookiees entered a hotel room, then one of them attacked a Trandoshan in a suit pulling him away from the Trade Federation executives and the human. The Wookiees then blasted the human and the Nemoidians across the room.
Pax read on "No Trandoshans were killed in the attack. Three suffered injuries. There is a moderate probability the Wookiees intercepted outside intelligence for the attack."
Pax paused. Outside intelligence? He looked at a satellite image of the perpetrating vessel. A Corellian Corvette covered in dishes. That thing definitely could have intercepted outside intelligence.
"The Galactic Senate is voting on a bill in two days to censure the government of Kashyyyk. We estimate it has a low to moderate probability of passing. There is a high probability that the Trade Federation will deploy a fleet into the Kashyyyk system in response. Analysis of Trandoshan actions indicates a high probability that the Trandoshans and Trade Federation will cooperate to end Wookiee Sanctions and force the Wookiee blockade to withdraw. There is a moderate probability that Trandosha will enter a new amity with the Trade Federation, Commerce Guild, and potentially other Separatist factions."
Pax wondered whether the Wookiees subscribed to this. Even if they didn't, he supposed the two Wookiee senators would have access to it. Who in the hell would have authorised such a stupid mission? Kill a bunch of diplomats?
More thoughts, objections, and concerns flooded through Pax's mind: This escalation has to stop. There is no reason the Republic has to go to war with world's that are seceding. There is no reason the Republic has to side with loyalist worlds even when they act illegally.
Suddenly, Pax's screen froze. He was receiving a call from a 000 sector-code: Coruscant. He hit accept and a Wookiee's face popped up. To Pax's alarm, it was Senator Yarua.
Pax screamed in terror. He thought for a moment that he was hallucinating and having a drug induced nightmare. Years ago, the three hundred year old Wookiee had brought the Duros into his social circle, along with a select few other Judicials. Pax had occasionally leaked information to Yarua in exchange for gifts. This though was extremely unexpected.
["Pax, is this line secure?"] Yarua asked in Shyriiwook.
"Uh, what?! Senator, sir, with all due respect—"
The Wookiee roared angrily. ["YOU MUST SPEAK SHYRIIWOOK! I don't know who is listening."]
"Uma masha." ["Yes sir,"] Pax slurred, rubbing his eyes. He curled his legs up and propped his datapad on the sheets between his legs, then propped his bandaged head up on a stack of pillows behind him.
The Wookiee pondered Pax for a moment. ["Are you alright Pax? You are talking in a slurry way."]
["Yeah. My head hurts. The droid said that I don't have any permanent injuries to my brain, sir,"] Pax explained in Shyriiwook.
"Mawyen." ["Good,"] Senator Yarua said. "Sharghug, nyuyag wen ga." ["Sorry that happened."] "Oh ma rorrelem." ["You have a problem."]
"Na masha, oh ma rorrelem." ["No sir, you have a problem,"]Pax replied laughing out of control. Damn I am high!
The Senator scowled at Pax. ["You also have a problem, Pax,"] he growled sternly.
["Sir?"]Pax asked.
["A fool engineer, Colonel in the signal corps, learned that the Trade Federation would be on Trandosha. He discovered this from Passel Argente's hat,"] the Senator growled, hatred in his voice.
Pax gasped in shock.
Yarua looked at Pax with a bit of a smirk. ["Pax, I know that you enjoy the companionship of Wookiees. Was it you?"]
"Na masha!" ["No sir!"]Pax yelled outraged. These Wookiees have some nerve! Then Pax gasped in sudden realisation. ["AWERL! It was Awerl! That was the reason for the violence in the cantina!"]
The Senator looked suspicious. ["In the future there will be more violence if Wirarlu has access to Passel Argente's hat."]
"Uma masha," Pax agreed. He slurred once again, ["Sir, who is Wirarlu?"]
["I told you before,"] the Senator growled impatiently.
["I can tell the Jedi sir—"] Pax started in Shyriiwook.
"—Na Hmaks." ["No Pax,"] Senator Yarua roared fiercely. ["Tell the Trandoshans. We must… We must deescalate the violence."]
"Masha!" ["Sir!"]Pax yelled. "Rey Herashon wy-gugu Wirarlu!" ["The Trade Federation would kill Wirarlu."]
"Moshe." ["Maybe,"] the Senator gave a deep Wookiee snort as if the thought gave him amusement. "Shemmy hul." ["Engineer fool,"]the Senator mused with a smile. ["Pax, I like you. If you would like, I will kill Awerl."]
["No sir,"] Pax pleaded.
The Senator hummed deep in thought. ["I need to send Awerl a message, 'Don't hurt Pax.'"]
["Fine. But don't kill Awerl, please,"] Pax continued his slurry Shyriiwook grovelling.
The Senator made incomprehensible humming noises, deeper in thought.
Pax sat back nervously and looked at the ceiling. Kriffing Yarua wants me to leak classified information. He wants me to destroy our only accomplishment. Then Pax realised with growing dread:Wirarlu has already destroyed our only accomplishment…
After a while of silence, Yarua said insistently, without anything indicating a change in conversation. ["You are going to the next party on Coruscant. I will see you there."]
["Yes sir,"] Pax sighed.
["I will be on Trandosha in four days. I expect that you will tell the Trandoshan's before then,"] Yarua growled.
["Yes sir,"] hesaid despondently. ["Sir do you have a plan?"]
"Uma Maksh." ["Yes Pax,"]the Senator said in a thoughtful voice. "Moshe, egh na wy-wighu oh." ["Maybe, maybe I don't want to tell you."]
After a few moments, the Senator changed his mind suddenly with a groan unable to contain this plan bursting in his head. He yammered so fast in Shyriiwook that Pax had trouble understanding. ["The Trandoshans in the valley got lots of rain causing their dam to brake. I told the blockade to drop aid, but not lots of aid. I don't want dead Trandoshans, but I do want uncomfortable Trandoshans."]Yarua gave a devious smile that sent chills down Pax's spine and added, ["in four days, I land on Trandosha with lots of aid: provisions, medicine, prefabricated structures, heaters for the lizard piles."]
Pax gulped nervously.
The Senator seemed content. Before hanging up he gave a devious smile that essentially said: now you know how scary I am. Don't disobey me.
"KRIFFING WOOKIEES!" Pax yelled aloud in a slurred voice the second the senator hung up. He tried hurling his datapad across the room but was so weakened and dizzy that it only landed on the foot of his bed. He laid his head back defeated.
Pax was becoming more enraged as he sat in bed. Why couldn't Yarua tell the stupid Trandoshans himself?! He is going to be on the kriffing planet in four days... Ugh that crafty bastard must be thinking of some convoluted plan that involves him, but he needs me to set the groundwork in place without alerting his own people that he is involved.
Pax yelled aloud, "KRIFF I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED BOTHESE, NOT SHYRIIWOOK! Even on the worst day, a bitchy little snarling Bothan hissy fit is not nearly this bad! HELL, HUTTS ARE NOT THIS BAD! KRIFFING HUTTS!"
A whiny Wookiee apologetic groan made him jump in fear. Pax screamed in terror.
It was Ghalabow. She was standing in the open doorway, carrying his hat and a strange bouquet of pitch-black Alpheridies plant-analogs.
"Sharghug, hmaksh." ["I am sorry, Pax."]
"Oh, I wasn't talking about you," Pax slurred feeling guilty. "Sharghug rin, Ghalabow." ["I am also sorry, Ghalabow."]
["That Wookiee, that Wookiee you were talking with, is a snake."]Ghalabow said with disgust.
"You heard that?!" Pax asked alarmed.
"Nyrr na wighu magugu Rosha-n oshra wighu naghemushlish Rosha-n." ["He doesn't want dead Trandoshans but uncomfortable Trandoshans,"]Ghalabow parroted Yarua's words back to him.
Pax gasped.
["What if their lizard eggs die in the cold?"] Ghalabow demanded in Shyriiwook. ["Who is he?"]
Pax gulped. He really wanted to tell her. His headache was killing him. His brain felt emptier than usual. He needed someone to complain to. He needed some stimulus. On the other hand, if it got out, he could go to jail for not reporting this conversation. More worryingly, Yarua might kill him. ["You can't tell anyone."]
["Fine,"]Ghalabow replied.
"Senator Yarua."
"Shenaorr Yarua!" Ghalabow roared. "Nyuyag shlag," ["that snake."]
Pax sighed. "We have to be quieter, shut the door please."
Ghalabow shut the door.
"You're right though. 100 years in the kriffing Senate. That snake has been in the Senate since before my parents were born. The rogue Wookiee attack just forced his hand."
["Maybe,"]Ghalabow murmured, deep in thought. ["Maybe he had something… something to do with it,"] she whispered suspiciously in Shyriiwook.
["The Wookiee attack?"] Pax asked in a slurred voice.
"Yarrgh." ["Yeah,"] Ghalabo said with dark suspicion.
Pax sighed. ["I don't see how Ghalabow. Yarua represents all of the moons and worlds in the Kashyyyk system but Kashyyyk, while the other Wookiee Senator represents Kashyyyk. One day soon, Trandoshans will vote and at that point, will be facing a Trandoshan politician. Obviously…"] He then switched to quieter, more conspiratorial groan. ["Obviously, the Wookiee colony worlds will vote for him, but that Senator will need some Trandoshans to vote for him to possibly win. I don't see why he would do something that makes it more likely for him to face opposition."]
Ghalabow hummed deep in thought. She took a seat in the plastic chair next to Pax's bed.
Pax winced, worrying that Ghalabow would break the chair. The chair's structural integrity held—phew.
Ghalabow started elaborating her conspiracy theory again, presuming that Pax also believed it. ["You think that Yarua has an opportunity, an opportunity to add support—"]
["—No Ghalabow. I think Yarua is in panic mode and is just scheming and coming up with plots to make the best of the situation... Gahhh… I am already committing a crime. Why not? Pass me my datapad. Don't ever tell a Bothan I showed you this,"] Pax whispered urgently. ["You know what, listen to the disclaimer first,"] he said. His spice-addled mind told him it would be okay if he showed Ghalabow the Bothan disclaimer.
Watching the blue-haired Bothan talk away, Ghalabow laughed when she heard his rhyme.
"Kyuy." ["Cute,"] Ghalabow said.
"Oh, you think that's cute? Well, I've got a Bothan of my own who is out there kriffing—you know what, never mind I am being too much of a blabbermouth. I do have a head injury. Here, watch this." Pax played the clip of the completely insane-looking, soaking-wet, dirty, tired, muddy Wookiees wearing face masks shooting up the Trade Federation diplomats in a Trandoshan hotel.
Ghalabow gasped in shock as the much smaller beings were ruthlessly blasted, bodies flying across the room.
"Do you think those spice-heads were professionals? If that snake Yarua had anything to do with this, there is no way it would have been that poorly executed." Poorly executed… poor choice of words, I am not trying to make a joke, damn. Pax started laughing out of control.
Ghalabow made a quiet worried groan.
After awkward silence for a few seconds, Pax remembered… "Thanks for my hat by the way, and the… flowers?"
"Na wen ga rorrelem." ["It was no problem,"]Ghalabow replied and started gently patting the top of Pax's blue head.
Pax looked up at her furry arm, but then his headache exploded. "Ugh, gentle Ghalabow! Your safe went into my brain yesterday." Wookiees and their annoying affectionateness.
"Sharghug." ["Sorry."]
"It wasn't your fault. Turns out an Agent under my command leaked information which was intercepted by a rogue Wookiee Colonel. You should have hit his face a little harder."
Ghalabow gave a sad laugh. ["Sorry that I threw the safe at you,"] she moaned despondently in Shyriiwook.
"I am sure you weren't aiming at me," Pax slurred. "In any case, it turns out I now have to counter his leak to help out one of your crazy… Crazy Wookiee Senators. Doc! Doc!"
The medical droid came in. "Patient Zuro Pax, what is it that you require?"
"We need… I need," Pax slurred desperately, looking the medical droid in its glowing eyes. "Do you think you can gimme some patient confidentiality?"
"Yes. I am programmed to give doctor patient confidentiality," the droid answered firmly.
"Good. I need you to send an anonymous, confidential message to my family," Pax slurred.
["Pax, I don't know if that is a good idea,"]Ghalabow stammered in Shyriiwook. ["Yarua is a snake."]
"I know Ghalabow, but Galaxy's depending on us and whatnot," Pax said in a slurry Duros drawl. He added, in a more lucid voice, "the Wookiee radicals that Yarua has no control over will keep killing targets identified by Passel Argente's hat, which may push the whole Galaxy to war."
Ghalabow gave a whiny worried growl.
"I know it's stupid. But even if I weren't on painkillers, I can't come up with another solution. If we tell the Jedi… best case scenario they cut the signal from Passel Argente's hat on their end, but they have no control over what the Wookiees do with it. Ultimately…" Pax slurred on, "the only way Passel Argente's hat gets turned off is if A) the Wookiees stop listening because their intelligence ship gets taken out, or they stop out of the goodness of their hearts or B), the Separatists find it and turn it off. Doc! Get over here!"
"I am already here Pax," the medical droid replied. "If I might suggest, it is generally considered unwise for organics to make calls while inebriated. If I understand the situation properly, then you want to make a call, to your family, while on painkillers, to try and deescalate an interstellar conflict?"
"Correct," Pax said. Droids will believe anything! My family. Ha!
"Well, why not wait until you have recuperated?"
"Will I be recuperated in the next four days?" Pax asked.
"No."
"Then record this message for me doc and distort my voice! Make me sound like… A Trandoshan…"
The droids eyes flashed off for a moment, then turned back on. A slot opened in its chest, revealing a speaker, which Pax promptly began speaking into. Ghalabow sat by nervously, holding hands together as she observed a spice-addled Republic Judicial now leaking information to the Separatists.