Flashback order: 2, 9, 13, 3, 11, 8, 7, 6, 5, 12, 4, 10.
The emboldened number is the current chapter. They're not written chronologically because I make this fic up as I go ^^;
A/N: Thanks again for your wonderful support! So tremendously grateful am I that I present you with the longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoy :)
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite.
Revision notes: This story is undergoing some edits. The full unedited and uncensored version can be found at the-tower-room dot livejournal dot com (no spaces and replace "dot" with period; there's also a link to it in my profile since I can't put a link here :/ ).
Chapter 13: Strand
"That Shishigawara's staring again," grumbled Tatsuki with her eyes narrowed towards the young man in question.
"Eugh," worried Mahana. "He better not come over here."
"No, he knows better," replied Tatsuki. "He knows the beating he'll get from me if he does. Besides, for some weird reason, he's scared of Sora."
"Why? Sora's the most harmless guy. I've had my eye on him for some time."
"You're still fighting over him with Michiru?"
"Uh-huh."
"I don't think he's ever going to get married."
"Why do you say that? Did he say anything? Did Orihime?"
"What did I do?" asked the newcomer, an auburn-haired young woman who came in from the back of the bakery carrying a tray of freshly baked bread. She gently dispensed them in several baskets on the display shelves before doffing her apron and grabbing her lunch from the counter.
"Um, nothing," laughed Mahana. "Ready? The others are already under the tree and we were just waiting for you."
"Yes."
"Let's go," said Tatsuki, and she led the others out into the village square and down to the shortcut they always took towards their favourite spot for lunch with the rest of their friends. Mahana ran on ahead of them, and Tatsuki looked back every now and again to make sure they weren't followed.
It had been three days since the traveling market had come to town, and since then she had noticed that Orihime had become rather pensive. She curled her lips wryly before gently jabbing her best friend with an elbow. "Oi. What's wrong?"
"Hmm?"
"You haven't been the same since the fair was here. What's eating you?"
"Silly Tatsuki," laughed she. "I'm not food."
"You know what I mean," Tatsuki said with a roll of her eyes. "You're still not hung up about what that fortune teller said, are you?"
"Well..."
"It's her craft. It's what she's supposed to say to earn money."
"I know, but still..."
"Still?"
"It does make me wonder. It's my future, after all."
Tatsuki unleashed an exasperated sigh. She would really rather not discuss that fiasco of a seer, but it seemed as though this was the only way to get her friend back to her usual disposition. "And what did she say about it?"
"Something about me loving someone and being loved back passionately."
"It's...not Shishigawara, is it?"
She shook her head, giggling. "She said it's not someone from the village."
Tatsuki was relieved to hear that. "Well, that's good. Did she say where this mysterious, faceless lover is coming from?"
"No."
"Well, for your sake, I hope he's hot, and that he'll treat you right. Or else he'll have me to answer to."
"Tatsuki."
"Knowing you, you'll probably fall for a guy with some weird hair colour and a funny expression."
"Tatsuki."
"And then you'll tell me every sordid detail of your married life, how wonderfully happy he makes you even as you pop out one kid after another because he just couldn't get enough of you."
"Tatsuki!"
The black-haired girl laughed as she wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulder, giving her a squeeze. "One of us has to live happily ever after, and it might as well be you."
The auburn-haired girl embraced her friend back. "All of us, not just me, Tatsuki. All of us will live happily ever after. You'll find someone, too."
She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Somehow I doubt it. I'd just as soon be with Keigo."
"Have you come to collect?" said the Death God by way of greeting.
The God of Despair shook his head. "How do you like my wedding gift?"
The corners of Ichigo's mouth turned upwards but there was hardly any real mirth in it. "It's...not very traditional," he wryly replied.
"I can only give what is in my capacity. The feeling of despair instead of a vision of it seemed more fitting." Ulquiorra sprang down from the tree and landed in front of Ichigo. "I have thought deeply about your payment for the service I rendered to you." He reached out with his dark tail and hooked its end underneath the Death God's mask, pulling it up so he could see his expression. Ichigo, for his part, kept his face impassive and inscrutable, giving no telltale sign of his wariness over having the God of Despair so close to him. The tail glided down his throat and further parted the collar of his coat to reveal the gaping hole underneath.
"Your heart," continued Ulquiorra, tracing the outline of the cavity and pulling a sigh out of the Death God. "On the night of the full moon, for that whole day, lend me this heart of yours."
He allowed a puzzled frown to mar his brow as he began to transform, his hair shortening and his chest healing closed, hoping that the furred end of the tail would not get trapped within him. He blinked, the inky black receding from his eyes as gold faded to brown. "My heart." He could only repeat that word, endless possibilities of what it might entail fleeting through his mind.
"I want to know what it is about it that made you take the actions you have taken. See for myself how its beats correspond with what you feel for that human. I want to understand."
"And if that one day isn't sufficient enough to satisfy your curiosity?"
"You do not trust me." The pale head tilted to the side, looking for all the world as though he was teary-eyed with disappointment with the thick, sable black tracks over his cheeks. His tail, now behind him, swung back and forth along the sand.
Ichigo looked off to the side, his hands curling into fists as he fell back on the rock, the jagged surface jabbing his back as he stared at the starry sky above. "It's not that," denied he, watching the sky become overtaken by the God of Despair's dark wings as he planted his feet on the rock on either side of his hips.
"What do you fear? Why do you fear?" Ulquiorra bent over him and placed a thin hand on the Death God's chest, right over his heart. "The beat here has become erratic."
In this position, he felt as though he couldn't escape. He swallowed, his Adam's apple nervously bobbing in his throat as despair surrounded him further. "What I will become," answered Ichigo. "It's different now. I have someone to protect, and in that form I will become a danger to what I'm protecting."
Ulquiorra blinked, and gave a slight nod of understanding. "That one day will be a deathless day," said he, his words meant to reassure except negated by his emotionless tone. "I have seen it with my eye. You will not have to bear your duties for that time, that's why I have chosen it. There will be no casualties for gods and humans alike."
The God of Death released a shuddering sigh, far from comforted. "No casualties," he echoed. "But the peril will still be present. And the full moon will be blood red."
"Yes," agreed the God of Despair as he unfurled his wings. "That is the price you will pay."
A laugh escaped him, rueful and mirthless. "You're right, Ulquiorra." Ichigo sat, forcing the God of Despair to stand back and dislodging the hold he had over his heart. He rose and turned his back, beginning the long walk back to his father's house. He had to laugh at finding himself even more beleaguered out in the desert when he sought escape from the disheartenment of his unanswered and unrequited confession. "For this one thing you want, it truly is costly."
Among the cushions, Orihime hugged her knees to her chest, wondering just how much longer the night would last. Around her, the divine sybarites pursued their merrymaking ways, the noise of their chatter and laughter resounding through the hall. The Scribe she met earlier, Shuuhei Hisagi, seemed to have overcome his shyness for he was feeding grapes to the Goddess of Love and Fertility as she lay with her head on his lap. A pang of envy shot through her at the display even as she felt embarrassed at being witness to it. She and the Death God weren't prone to being affectionate in public; maybe it came from being such strangers to each other. At the thought of him, regret stung her over his continued absence.
"May I intrude upon your thoughts?" asked the God of Invention and Knowledge, gesturing to the cushion beside her.
She blinked, eyes flying to him, and nodded, pulling a smile from the dark cloud that seemed to have encompassed her of late. She relaxed her posture, lowering her knees and pulling her legs under her.
"I'll come straight to the point, if you don't mind?"
Her eyes widened in wonderment and she began to worry her lower lip between her teeth. "Is something wrong?" asked Orihime.
"No, not at all. I didn't mean to cause you any alarm. I just wanted to examine you, if I may?"
"Oh. Is this about the baby?"
"Eh?" Startled, Kisuke's eyes roamed to the side as he thought quickly. "Er, yes. Definitely. The baby."
She stared at him dubiously, but decided to dismiss the suspicious behaviour as a mere godly quirk. "I'm still finding it hard to believe. Being in this condition already, I mean."
"It will sink in in due time, I'm sure."
"I mean, it's not that I wasn't expecting it. I figured that it will happen someday. Just not this soon."
"Just look at it as something fortuitous. A happy change."
"Hmm, I suppose. What else can I do?"
"Say 'ah,'" bade the God of Invention as he placed both hands on Orihime's cheeks.
Feeling somewhat baffled at the sudden turn of event, she stuck her tongue out and did as told, and the god turned her head this way and that. "What's this for?" she asked when he released her.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing," answered the god with a smile. "Just wanted to check something." He took hold of her wrist and placed two fingers over her pulse-point. "Normal, that's good. Have you been feeling any pains at all in the last little while?"
She shook her head. "No, just my head feeling a bit heavy. Is that bad?"
"No, it's just a minor side-effect and it will go away pretty soon."
"Side-effect of learning you're pregnant?"
"Er, yes, something like that."
"Well, I've felt like I've been turning and turning and turning too fast. All topsy-turvy. I've been wishing I could fly away from here, but I have nowhere to go so it's pointless to do so."
"Well, you're one of us now, so maybe you'll get that wish someday. It's hard to tell with new gods what kind of powers will manifest in them. Actually, it's the same even with those who are born as gods. We never know what kind of power we have until we grow into it. If there's an empty niche, it just finds us."
"Find..." parroted Orihime, only half-listening to the God of Invention. "It's funny that I suddenly felt like I know where everyone is, but I can't find the Death God."
"Oh? Have you been trying all this time?"
She nodded.
"Well, let me tell you a trick. When you extend your consciousness, find the red string that feels like the person you're searching for. It might be faint, but it's there, and if you follow it, you will be led to the one you seek."
"You make it sound easy."
"With practice, it will be. You seem to have caught on earlier on how to do it without being taught. Like you're born for this."
"Oh," she nodded. Her eyes brightened as she recalled something, a giddy giggle erupting from her. "Do you still have some more of that green stuff you gave me earlier? It was only after I drank that that I began to feel this way. Maybe if I drink some more I'll be able find the Death God?"
"Unfortunately, I don't think it works that way. And I'm all out of it, sad to say."
"Oh, well. It was really delicious though."
"Really?" He unfurled his fan and peered demurely over it.
"Uh-huh. I really like it."
"I made it myself. Especially for you."
"For me, really? Thank you! It's too bad that you don't have anymore."
"Yes, but I think one is sufficient. It's a special brew that I don't think I'll be able to repeat for anyone else. It's made to cater to an individual's taste."
"You're so nice."
"Thank you. I hope your husband will feel the same way. Consider it my wedding gift."
Restlessness pervaded her after a while. The cool night air was nice and fresh against her skin, and Orihime found that it served to leave her feeling somewhat relieved from all that overwhelmed her that day. At the moment though, despite her tiredness, she couldn't bear to go back to the bedchamber. She knew that she would be even more beset by how empty it was; she would be hard pressed to find sleep there.
She wandered once again through the labyrinth garden, ambling through its multitudinous paths, learning how to make doorways with her mind when she found herself stranded against cul-de-sacs. She found herself once more in that clearing that had the one gate she had not been able to open, and resignedly lowered herself on the bench across from it with a sigh. She felt a strum against her heartstrings, as though the one she sought had tugged at it on the other side. With all the endless wishes she could make that the house was able to fulfill, she knew that this was one it wouldn't―and hadn't―been able to.
Should she stay here, she wondered, and stay guard for however long it took until the Death God returned? She could feel her resolve wavering as the seconds flocked away to minutes. Tomorrow would soon arrive, she thought. Would she find the strength once more then? This impasse and the helplessness and despair it brought were truly unbearable.
For lack of anything to do, she worried at the embroidery on her skirt, unraveling the thread with a fingernail. As petal after petal disentangled beneath the onslaught of her nail, she played a childhood game: He's coming back. He's not coming. He's coming back. He's not coming. She looked askance at the fallen flower when she got to the end, the frayed edges of threads looking as pitiful as she felt, feeling sorry for the rest of the embroidered flowers scattered on her voluminous skirt that might befall the same fate.
They were saved by the gate opening. Her breath stuck inside her lungs as she beheld the God of Death. Their eyes met, and for an eternity they were held as though spellbound in their respective spots. Hope and despair vied with longing in each, encapsulated with words unspoken.
He stepped through the threshold, but the spell was far from broken. She watched as he drew closer and dropped to his knees in front of her. They were back to the same pose they were in hours ago, that seemed as though an eternity passed since it took place due to the unending night of this realm. She hadn't found an answer then.
But now was different. She felt different. All that was left was to show it.
Her eyes rose and met his gaze.
There was earnestness there in those brown orbs, and fading hope. To erase the uncertainty, she cupped his cheeks and lightly touched her lips to his. "Welcome back," she sighed against his lips, feeling his arms encircle her waist. As tingles ran down her spine at his touch, she drew forward once more to deepen the kiss, communicating warmth and welcome into each press and retreat of her lips against his.
He broke away from her with a deep exhale and rested his forehead against hers. With one embrace from her, despair ebbed from him. But one thing nagged at him even as elation began to fill him.
"You seem different," said Ichigo.
"I do," agreed Orihime, nodding assent at his assessment. They were so close her eyelashes brushed against his lids. "I've been thinking about so many things, been full of so many feelings. I feel changed by all of them."
"It feels like it's something else," he responded puzzledly, the furrow between his brows deepening.
She captured his lips to pull him from his errant thoughts, wanting him to concentrate on what she was about to say.
"I have an answer."
That caught his attention, and his eyes met hers, rapt and apprehensive.
She licked her lips. "I've decided to keep the child growing within me." Orihime watched him from under her lashes, assessing his reaction.
His eyes were tender as they roamed over her, gauging the sincerity of her words. He unclenched the fists that had kept a tight hold of the fabric of her dress and splayed his hands on her waist, his thumbs tracing circles on her belly. "You want to keep it?"
She nodded, a tremulous smile spreading across her lips. "It's ours," she said, her fingers tangling against the strands of orange spikes at his nape. "We made it together. Even if it started out because of the other gods, it's still a part of you and me."
She squealed in surprise, wrapping her arms around his neck as he rose to his feet and twirled her in the air. Ichigo stopped, and she clung to him, a grin, though small, gentling his expression. Not for the first time, he felt his heart expand at the sight and feel of her, feeling as though he could burst. He wrapped his arms tightly around her back as she slid down his body. "Orihime," he whispered, voice but a breath against her cheek. "I love you."
Her hands stilled and tightened in his hair, eyes locked and unable to look away from his. For a very long second, her heart seemed to have fallen away from her, and then came back in a vengeful rhythm. She licked her suddenly dry lips and huskily mouthed her answer, her own voice having left her.
He released the breath he didn't know he held. His lips descended onto hers, wilful and soft, prying open her mouth with his tongue. She moaned as they tangled and stroked against each other, his head leaning to the side to deepen the kiss. Her spine arched as electricity seemed to reverberate against her skin, the feel of her breasts pressed tightly against his chest enhancing the passion that flared over her wherever they touched.
Her hands ran over his chest, his heart pounding hard, her lips gripping his in a kiss that left them both even more breathless. He released her lips, and the smile that matched hers was unweighted, unwilling to let his promise to the God of Despair intrude upon this moment of perfection.
This moment, he thought. Just let him savour this moment.
APPENDIX
Shishigawara - character from Bleach's Welcome to Our XCution arc that took place after the 17-month time skip
Ichigo - God of Death and the Moon
Ulquiorra - God Despair and Visions
Urahara - God of Knowledge and Invention
Orihime - formerly a human
Thanks for reading :)
Mar/2011; revised 2012