Jessica: "Not the time for smart ass remarks, dude. I'm not in the mood."

Darby: "OK. My turn to say What the actual fuck is going on?"

Jessica: "Let me spell it out. We are both sober so I know you're not an idiot or retarded so there should be no problem figuring out what I'm saying or meaning. You just pointed out to Mox and I that Priscilla is your first everything. Right?"

Darby: "Yes. True statement."

Jessica: "You were kissing me after the match, right?"

Darby: "Yes. Another true statement."

Jessica: "You said my body was saying there was serious chemistry between us, right?"

Darby: "Yes. Another true statement."

Jessica: "So, why would you say in front of a potential lay that you are still having feelings for your ex wife?"

Darby: "I'm being honest. I'm an all cards on the table kind of guy. No bullshit or games. So if I need to point out that our mutual break left me a little shook then that's what I'm going to say. If this is just a mutual lay as you put it. It shouldn't matter."

Jessica: "Fuck them and leave them type huh."

Darby: "Its more complicated then that."

By now I'm feeling like I'd really like to smack some sense into this kid. He's 27 years old. What do I expect? Maturity obviously isn't his thing. I'm still figuring out why Priscilla wants to be my momma. We've never so much as said "hi" to each other until tonight and suddenly I'm her new bestie? This is getting weird.

Mox: "You two need to be left alone to talk. I'm sensing a "see my way out" conversation coming on and I don't do domestics. If you need me you know where I am."

Jessica: "If I hang him you know why."

Mox: "Kisses."

He makes an exaggerated kissy face at me and I hug him. He's a goofy as fuck drunk. That's why I love him so much. Now back to this serious attraction to trouble I got in front of me.

Jessica: "I'm all yours. Explain to me why this is complicated for you."

I get a sparkling water and settle in for a long talk. Darby takes a deep breath like he's looking for the right answer for me.

Darby: "All right. Here it goes my name is Sam Ratsch. I'm 27 years old and recently divorced as of August 2020. My marriage only lasted a year because of mutual differences. I was in an accident when I was 5 years old with my Uncle who was taken in that drunk driving incident. I cheated death and he wasn't as fortunate. Ever since that night, I swore to myself I would never turn out like him. I would never risk a child's life the way he risked mine. I'd take care of my family and I would respect my children. Are you familiar with straight edge?"

Jessica: "I've heard of it. It's a lifestyle where you don't drink smoke or do drugs. Your also monogamous and stick to one mate. That's the condensed version I know."

Darby: "OK. So you get it. Well, The Bucks, Kenny Omega and I are all straight edge. Hence why you don't see me drinking in bars and partying all night. Contrary to the punk lifestyle that I display."

Jessica: "Yeah. What does that have to do with what I asked?"

Darby: "I'm getting there. My straight edge ways make me a fiercely loyal and trustworthy guy. I take care of my women and treat them like queens. As they should always be treated. So, I tend to not do the one night stand fuck them and leave them thing you accused me of earlier."

Jessica: "So I'm supposed to believe you are a one women no one night stands type after you laid that hot as fuck kiss on me earlier."

Darby: "Hence the complicated part. I tend to come back to the same woman for my future needs. So basically you'd be seeing your one night stand more then once."

Jessica: "So I'd have to work to keep you away or accept you as a fuck buddy or friend with benefits to make this work."

Darby: "Basically yeah. Those are the rules."

Jessica: "Wow. You're different. I'll give you that. The dark enigma is bullshit though. I see right through that whole "I'm half dead because I cheated death" fodder you got going on."

Darby: "You're The Phoenix. You shine the light into battle."

Jessica: "Seriously? So, what if I accept you as a fuck buddy and Priscilla decides to make an example out of me in the locker room?"

Darby: "You're allowed to tell her to fuck off if your not down with her. Its cool."

Jessica: "OK. Let me let you in on something if she starts making little smart ass comments or starts grilling me about you I'm going to beat her ass like I did yours."

Darby: "Like I said, you're allowed."

Jessica: "I already have a mother. God rest her soul."

Darby: "Respect."

Jessica: "Thank you."

The night went on and Darby and I ended up back in my room. This has got to be the first time I ever had someone sexually attracted to me just hanging out with me. I half expected him to have a bowl of popcorn between us and try to awkwardly grab it at the same time I do.

A mutual male friend who respected boundaries. That's new to me. As the last episode of Friends wrapped up. He looked up at me and we caught eyes.

Jessica: "Yes? I'm not a vampire. I actually do require sleep."

Darby: "I know and I am here to monitor you. I sleep too."

Jessica: "All right weirdy mcweirderson. I'm going to go put on my pajamas now. Do you sleep full clothed or do you actually remove your layers at night?"

Darby: "Honestly? I sleep naked or in my boxer shorts. If its not freezing."

I pull my yellow minion pajamas out of my suitcase and start taking off my clothes.

Jessica: "You do realize I don't need you monitoring me. I am medically fine."

Darby: "I also realize you need to ice that lump again and haven't done it."

Jessica: "Yes darling. When I'm done here."

Darby: "Whatever you say, babe."

He gets an ice pack and fills it with ice while I brush my teeth and go about my usual business. I've never seen a guy go on about a bump on my head like this. I should know my own body. Then again, Seth did it with my knee.

I climb back in the bed and get comfortable on my stomach. He puts the ice on my head and I gasp at the cold.

Darby: "I know. Its cold."

Jessica: "Yeah and in other news the Pope is Catholic. No shit."