Chapter 13
4 Years after the Hundred Year War
Northwest of Serpent's Pass Lake
Katara woke with a start and a deeply rooted conviction that something was seriously amiss. It did not take her long to realize just what was wrong, she was alone in the tent with Azula gone, her side of the tent barely warm. Katara had hoped to be the first to wake up in the morning and then carefully disentangle herself from her embrace of the princess, but that had clearly been an unreasonable expectation considering that she loved to sleep in while Azula usually rose with the sun. Now she could only hope that Azula hadn't gone too far.
Her chest heavy with worry, Katara emerged from the tent, but could not find any sign of Azula nearby. Their belongings were all still present, Azula had not taken anything, so Katara felt certain that the princess had not made a daring escape. Her disappearance was most likely a spontaneous reaction... perhaps to waking up being held, and that only made Katara more worried when she thought of what Azula might do when she was going through such deep turmoil and emotional confusion.
Katara first looked around the copse of black pines nearby, but Azula was nowhere to be seen. Deciding to risk leaving their supplies behind for now, Katara ran down to the main path used by the travelers, starting to look around for Azula, but once again, there was no sign of the princess. Perhaps Azula had gone to visit one of the local farmsteads? That seemed very unlikely, but perhaps one of the farmers might have spotted the princess recently, so Katara decided to check in with the people at the nearest farm.
She was about halfway to her destination, when Katara spotted something that made her blood run cold. Billowing black smoke rose above the fruit trees in the orchard, as the house and its surrounding buildings were enveloped by an intense blaze. Shocked and dismayed, Katara ran down the rest of the path leading up to the burning farm, taking in the picture of absolute devastation as she arrived at the scene.
"Stand back, girl!" someone called out to her, Katara turning around to see a man standing by the fence, well away from the buildings, together with what appeared to be his younger wife and three children, two boys and girl. "Don't go any closer! The flames are too hot, there's nothing to be done... spirits know, I've tried!"
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," Katara nodded at the confused looking man, but she did not have the time to explain, not now. Having spotted a well nearby, Katara quickly drew as much water from it as she could, starting to use her waterbending to gradually put out the blazing fires. Despite her considerable skill, it still took Katara a good quarter of an hour to fully quench all the flames that had reduced the farmstead into a smoldering heap.
"My goodness!" the farmer's wife cried as the relieved family ran up to her. "You're a waterbender, aren't you? Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome, but I'm not sure my efforts have done much good," Katara admitted sadly as she observed the scene of carnage. "Are you alright? Did all of you make safely out of the flames?"
"Yes, we did," the man replied, looking relieved as his wife comforted the frightened looking children. "I don't know what had gotten into that young woman! I had never seen her before, and then she just showed up and started burning down our farm! It was plain lucky that she started with the tool shed and the barn, before moving to the stables and the living house. At least we had the time to escape, and I even managed to get Oma and Shu out of the stables just in time," he pointed towards the two ostrich horses grazing nearby, completely oblivious to how close they had been to become roasted.
"I see..." Katara remarked thoughtfully. The farmer had unwittingly passed very curious information to her. Certainly, Azula had messed up big time by burning down the farm of these poor people, but apparently, she had gone about it in a way to avoid any loss of life, and not just of humans, but also of farm animals. To Katara, that alone was significant. Azula was fighting against the change in her, but to Katara, this told that Azula had already changed. "Did you see where that girl went?" she asked the family of farmers.
"I'm not sure... but I think she ran in that direction," the farmer's wife pointed southwards. "But I would not follow her, young lady. There's no telling what she might do!"
"Well... I actually know her," Katara admitted, much to the shock of the married couple. "I know that it's of no comfort to you, but I don't think she meant to do this. She's... not well. But I'll do my best to make things up to you."
"How?" the man blinked at her, bewildered. "Young lady, we are ruined! Absolutely ruined!"
"I understand that, good sir," Katara spoke soothingly, opening her money belt and removing all coins but four, a small fortune in itself, then passing the money over to the farmer and his wife. "I know this is not nearly enough, but if you choose to remain and rebuild, I will arrange for more money to be sent your way."
"That's... that's very kind of you, to pay for someone else's misdeeds like that," the man told her, looking taken aback by her gesture.
"Well, I'm afraid that this is partly my fault," Katara admitted sadly. "The girl who did it was under my care, and I clearly didn't do a good enough job taking care of her. But please, tell me your names, and I will make sure for more money to be sent as soon as we reach Ba Sing Se."
"My name in Tina and this is my husband, Tenshi," the woman smiled at her, despite the loss her family had suffered. "You are truly a noble soul, young lady. I hope that you will be able to help your troubled friend."
Katara blushed slightly, despite everything. "Yes, well... I would gladly stay behind to help you more, but... I really should catch up with my friend before she does more harm to anyone. Or to herself," Katara added with a worried look on her face. Having wished the best to the unfortunate family, Katara broke into a run in the indicated direction, cutting straight across the fields, trying to spot Azula.
It didn't take too long for Katara to track down her quarry. A loudly bubbling brook formed a natural border between two adjacent plots of land, and as Katara began to walk alongside the brook, she soon spotted Azula ahead of her, the other girl sitting on a large boulder at the side of the brook, stubborn look on her face as she hugged her knees to her chest.
Katara carefully approached the rock Azula sat upon, making sure that the princess noticed her, but not immediately starting to berate Azula, much as the princess deserved some telling off for her reckless and dangerous actions that had left a family close to ruin. Instead, Katara simply leaned against the rock, patiently waiting if Azula would eventually speak up first.
"So, I guess we'll be heading North now?" Azula predictably could not stand the silence for long. "Just drop me off there and then leave me alone, thank you very much."
"Is that what you really want?" Katara asked softly.
"What? Isn't that what you said would happen if I did anything like... what I just did?" Azula looked at her, slightly perplexed.
"I don't think that would serve any purpose," Katara shrugged. "I know that change can feel very scary, Azula, but you've made such progress already-..."
"I don't want to change!" Azula shouted angrily, interrupting her. "I want to stay exactly as I've always been!"
"Well... it's not like you have to change, Azula," Katara conceded reluctantly. "I simply wanted to make you aware that you can choose to be something else than what your father shaped you into."
"Well, you're not doing a very good job convincing me that all this change is worth anything," Azula snapped irately. "I was much happier the way I was."
"Were you, though?" Katara did not relent.
"At least things were less confusing!" Azula exclaimed. "I don't know why, but suddenly I'm questioning everything I'm doing and have done in the past... ugh, I can't stand it! This whole trip to Ba Sing Se was a terrible idea, I didn't realize that you would be filling my head with all these stupid thoughts!"
Katara circled around the boulder so that she could looked Azula in the eyes as she spoke. "Listen to me, Azula," she said softly. "I think I understand what you're going through, and what happened at the farm. Being afraid of change doesn't make you weak, princess. And I know that you are strong, strong enough to not back down from this challenge."
"Why would I care to embrace this weakness?" Azula asked, annoyance flashing in her golden orbs. "It is just going to make me pathetic and pitiful, an emotional crybaby like Zuko."
"You're wrong, Azula. After Zuko changed sides in the war and joined us, he became stronger, not weaker. In the bonds of friendship that he formed with all of us, he found a new source of strength. I'm trying to make you see that," Katara tried reassuringly. "Besides, if you truly detest it that much, then you can always go back to the way you were... but I think you've already changed past that, Azula." The princess opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out. "I stopped at the farm to help and put out the fires. I know that you made an effort to not actually hurt anyone. You just wanted to make a statement."
"You think you're so clever, don't you?" Azula glared at her, looking irritated, but also a little ashamed.
"I am pretty clever, yes," Katara grinned. The princess let out a snort at that, but her anger looked to have faded a little. "I don't think I could ever think of you as weak, Azula. I think you're probably one of the strongest people I know. And yes, Azula, having nightmares doesn't make you weak either." Azula immediately averted her gaze, making Katara worried that perhaps she had made a mistake by mentioning the nightmare, but there was no going back now. "In fact... I now believe that you are even stronger than I thought, because I have a better understanding of just how much you had to endure at the hands of your father."
Azula swallowed heavily and did not say anything for a good while. Eventually she spoke up again. "Are they going to be alright?" she asked in a small voice.
"Yes, I gave them nearly all of our coin, so they should be alright for the time being," Katara said. "I'll make arrangements to send more money once we reach Ba Sing Se. I think they'll be fine, they were all just really shook up, especially the children."
"That... was really stupid of me, I know," Azula ground out, her eyes anchored at the horizon as she refused to look at Katara.
"Honestly, I expected something like that," Katara smiled at the princess.
"Well, nice to know that I'm so predictable to you," Azula glared back at her.
"Behold my amazing powers of perception," Katara chuckled, making Azula roll her eyes. She decided against telling Azula just how many times Zuko had relapsed back into his old ways during the travels with his uncle, Iroh having shared the stories over tea both in Ba Sing Se and the Fire Nation Capital. She knew that Azula would not appreciate her journey being compared to Zuko's. "How about you get down from your rock so that we can return to the campsite? I don't want to leave our supplies unguarded for too long," she said instead.
"Fine," Azula shrugged, taking an elegant leap from the rock, but upon landing her left leg buckled underneath her and she fell onto her right knee with a pained cry.
"What's wrong?" Katara exclaimed, only then noticing that Azula's left side was smeared in blood, her dress torn around the hip, exposing a deep and bloody cut. "You're bleeding! How did it happen? Did you not notice?"
"No... I guess I didn't notice," Azula admitted, slowly getting herself back up to her feet. "I think I cut myself on something when I was running away from that farm. I don't know exactly what happened... I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."
"It looks like a nasty cut, Azula, I should definitely heal it," Katara said decisively. "And I'll have to mend and clean your dress. Do you think you can make it back to the campsite without making it much worse?"
"Ugh, it's just a scratch, stop making such a fuss," Azula winced.
"Mhm, very well, let's go then," Katara said, starting to walk back towards the campsite, Azula walking alongside her, hobbling ever so slightly. "I'd tell you to lean against me for support, but I know your pride would never allow that," she rolled her eyes.
"I'm fine," Azula ground out, struggling to keep up with Katara as they made the long way around the burned down farmstead. Some part of Katara seriously wanted Azula to apologize in person to the family of farmers, but she was also reluctant to press Azula into it. There was the danger of making everything worse by amplifying the guilt and shame that Azula already appeared to be experiencing.
When they finally made it back to their untouched campsite, Katara predictably discovered that all the walking had reopened Azula's wound and made it a lot worse, as it was now bleeding rather severely. The lack of protest from Azula when Katara ordered her to take off her dress, made it clear that the princess herself recognized that the injury was more serious than she had first thought. Fortunately, this was the sort of injury that was ideally suited for waterbender healing, and in short order Katara had closed the deep cut on Azula's thigh and cleaned the skin from all the blood that had been pouring down Azula's leg. "There, as good as new," Katara finally finished her healing, trying to avoid becoming distracted by the enticingly smooth and soft skin of Azula's thigh. "Isn't waterbender healing amazing?" she added with a chuckle as Azula quickly pulled away.
When the princess would not reply, Katara simply grabbed her backpack and dug out her sewing kit, starting to work on fixing Azula's dress while the princess sat at the entrance to their tent, wearing nothing but her smallclothes and looking pensive.
"You probably thought that was the first time I was healed by a waterbender," Azula said suddenly. "It wasn't."
"Oh?" Katara looked up from working on the dress, facing Azula with a curious stare. "Will you tell me the story?" she asked, hoping to sound encouraging.
"It happened when I was eleven," Azula replied a while later, her voice heavy and slow, as if she was having trouble choosing the words. "My mother had been missing for two years, and father had just exiled Zuko. That was when he truly began to work on me." Katara gave her a sympathetic stare, hoping to encourage Azula to go on. She did so, a while later. "I think that he was afraid that I might end up disappointing him the way Zuko had done, and he wanted to make sure there was no chance of it repeating. Over the coming months, he broke me down quite completely, both physically and mentally. My instructors were ordered to intensify my workload tenfold, and at the same time, every small mistake on my part was immediately reported to my father. The punishments were daily. Verbal denigration accompanied by beatings."
"I... I understood as much from your nightmare," Katara swallowed heavily. "The whip..."
"Yes, his tool of choice," Azula nodded with a pained look in her golden eyes. "That's where the waterbender healing came in. He couldn't let anyone at the court see me sporting cuts or bruises, of course. He brought this old Water Tribe healer to the court, a broken man who had languished in a Fire Nation prison for half a century. My father made his waterbender slave heal me after every encounter with his whip. That's how I know what waterbender healing is like."
"I knew your father was capable of monstrous things, but..." Katara shook her head, quickly applying the finishing touches to Azula's dress and then using her bending to remove the bloodstains before passing it back to the princess who quickly donned it to hide her partial nudity.
"He actually made me believe that it was for my own good," Azula shrugged. "And that I deserved it."
Katara rose and came over to sit next to Azula, looking deep into the other girl's eyes. "Azula?" she asked. "Do you think it might be possible that your father exiled Zuko because he wanted to have his hands free to do this sort of thing to you?"
"What?" Azula blinked, looking confused. "I don't understand what you're getting at..."
"Zuko was thirteen, and he was slowly coming of age," Katara tried to explain. "I don't think your brother would have stood idly aside if he knew that your father was doing something like this to his younger sibling. And don't give me the crap that Zuko doesn't care about you. You know he has always wanted to be on good terms with you."
"I... suppose it's possible?" Azula shrugged. "But I don't think so. I believe my father's change in attitude towards me was the result of Zuko's exile, not some long hatched scheme on his behalf."
"Fair enough," Katara nodded. "I'm going to ask you another question... and this might be... a very difficult one." Azula wrinkled her brow, again looking uncertain at what Katara was getting at. "Did your father ever... you know... force himself onto you?" she finally managed the horrifyingly uncomfortable question. In response, Azula's eyes went wide as she emphatically shook her head. "Well... thank the spirits for small mercies," Katara let out a sigh of relief.
"I had complete, blind trust in my father, but that would have broken it," Azula replied. She then shuddered, looking deeply uncomfortable. "At least I hope so..."
"Azula?" Katara asked softly. "If one of my friends had told me something so horrifying, I would have hugged and held them to make them feel better. I have been told that my hugs are very effective that way," she smiled encouragingly. "The offer is there for you, should you choose to accept it," Katara offered hopefully.
She could see Azula stiffen immediately at her words, but as the princess mulled things over, she eventually gave a barely perceptive nod of the head. Smiling, Katara crawled to sit behind Azula, wrapping her arms around the other girl's waist and pulling Azula closer towards her. Azula nearly went rigid at the first touch, but when she eventually managed to relax and leaned in against Katara's chest to settle in comfortably, the waterbender allowed a relieved smile to settle upon her lips. It seemed as if yet another important step had been taken.