For the Dead Travel Fast

—-xxx—-

Back in the car, Castle likely subdued by the shellshock of information, Kate just trying to keep it together, the atmosphere was tense.

She didn't smell herself, or the deranged's mark on her, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. What she smelled so strongly was him, and when he was upset, the pheromones kicked up a notch, brooded in the enclosed space of the SUV, made it almost impossible to resist him. If she was struggling this badly, she didn't know how he was so self-contained.

The car swerved—she made a jerky course-correction, ashamed at how suddenly the median had come upon her, how she hadn't even realized. She felt the burning need to apologize for nearly killing them, but it also seemed like a bad idea.

She was definitely awake now, adrenaline zipping sharply through her system, her hands damp with sweat.

"Can you really survive like this?" he said suddenly.

She blinked rapidly, keeping her eyes on the interstate, grateful there were few cars this early. The semis mostly kept right, so in the fast lane, she was a danger only to herself.

And Rick.

"I... don't know."

"That's unacceptable, Beckett."

She felt her thighs quake, tremors as the pain she was shutting out lanced down her legs. "I know."

"You know. That's all you have to say for yourself?"

"If you yell at me, then you're not able to control—"

"Don't even," he growled. "This is about your life. If I'm yelling at you, it's for a good God-damn reason."

She absorbed that slowly.

"Don't you think I get a say in this? I'm your husband, and now, you're my Progenitor."

She flinched.

"If you're gonna die on me in the middle of the weirdest batshit—pun intended—crazy that's ever happened, then maybe you should let me in on all the vampire secrets."

"I... yes," she whispered. She had done so well just not thinking about the bullet carving its way through her torso. She was an expert at compartmentalization. Had been for decades. But she had also not been thinking about everything else. "I have everything I know written down, it's a little black notebook in the duffle bag, mostly red ink—"

"You mean this?" He whipped it out of his back pocket, tossed it onto the dashboard with derision. "I found it when I grabbed a shirt. This is nothing more than some rambling notes filled with more questions than answers. This is folklore and snippets of gossip."

Her cheeks burned, but so did the fire. "Excuse me, Writer Boy, if I don't have the narrative skills-"

"Don't do that," he said, suddenly quiet. No less intense. "Don't do that. I'm trying to keep you alive. I want you alive."

"What do you think I want?"

"I think you want me alive more than you want to be alive here with me. As a vampire. I think you've spent the last ten years ignoring what you are and pretending it's not real, hiding yourself in everything else, and now you've run out of hiding places, Kate. Not even our marriage can hide you from this."

She swiped at a renegade tear, her eyes burning as she stared at the road. She wanted nothing more than to stop trying so hard, to turn into his body and let him envelop her, let him take. Never mind just a sip, a taste, a drink. Take it all.

Let herself go.

Maybe she really did hate what she was. "No," she said softly. "No more hiding. What's in that book is all I know, Rick. If you've read it, then you know as much as I do."

"Then you can't possibly tell me my idea isn't valid," he growled. "I know I'm not as stable as I will be, but I'm the best you got, Kate. We have to get that bullet out. Let me fix what I messed up, let me at least try to save us."

She sucked in a breath, rocked by his certainty. He always seemed to have the right words, but all she had was instinct. And instinct screamed at her that this was a bad idea. "You don't want me to die, well I don't either, Castle. I don't want to leave you half-transitioned and blind, I don't want to die on you. But we can't be sure that you have the control you need. If full-grown vampires don't have the self-control for it, you don't stand a chance."

He was quiet for a beat, then a harsh curse roughly exhaled. "By full-grown you're talking about Royce."

She chewed on her bottom lip, nodded. She tasted blood immediately and sucked at the wound, terrified the scent of her fresh blood would set him off.

"Royce did this to you," he said hollowly. "And now you can't trust it. Me. You can't trust me, or yourself, because he... what did he do? What did he do to you, Kate?"

The tears sprang up hot and fast, swamping her before she could recover. She was wracked with a sob, and it hurt, it sent pain ricocheting through her abdomen. The pain blinded her in a sudden spasm, sending her gasping, rigid. Her body seized—

Castle shouted her name—

the yellow lines were speeding at them, a hypnotic thread—

he wrenched the wheel—

They spun out.

Her body was jerked violently in the seatbelt, but her police training kicked in. She gave it gas, her hands automatically nudged the wheel, not the large over-correction Castle had done (she was fighting a wave of blackness).

Their spin straightened, angled out of it (black spots bloomed across her field of vision) and she pulled them back into their lane before he could even finish his gasp.

"Shit, shit, shit." Castle was gulping for breath beside her. "I did that, didn't I, I did that."

Not your fault, she tried to say, struggling to focus. Her hands felt numb on the wheel, her leges unresponsive, and suddenly she was hot. Sweating.

Nausea welled in her throat.

"I'm gonna be sick." Her vision tunneled, the clamminess in her palms scared her. "Cas..."

"Kate!"

The car was slowing, she managed to wrestle the vehicle off onto the shoulder. When she couldn't find the strength in her legs to press the brake, she threw the car into park and the engine made a horrid noise as it came out of gear.

They stopped.

The car shuddered as it died.

She crumpled.

Castle was out like a shot, tearing around the hood even as her cheek hit the window. He wrenched the door open; she fell into his arms.

"You're soaked in blood," he hissed.

She moaned as he took her out of the car, her head falling back.

"Oh shit," he whispered. "Oh shit."

"S-sorry," she slurred, vision going black.

—-xxx—-