Sirius held his Herbology essay with a shaking hand.
P was written at the top in Pomona's glittering purple ink. An unmistakable, undebatable P.
P as in Poor. Poor.
This wasn't Sirius's first P- he frequently received them, in fact, but that was when he didn't try. This one- the properties of vinea mortiferum- had received at least half of his attention. So why was it bad? What was wrong with it?
Good ideas- writing is too opinionated and without structure. Reads almost like a ramble. See me after class.
Sirius knew he was smart, and he was very unaccustomed to anything showing otherwise.
"Psst, Remus, what'd you get?" he whispered to his partner.
"An E. Tough one, wasn't it?"
Of course stupid Remus did just fine. "Did she leave any comments?"
"Yeah, she said it was a good analysis, very informative but 'rather dry.' Why?"
"Nothing, it's nothing."
Sirius watched Dorcas Meadowes grin as she slid her Outstanding essay into her bag. His eyes traveled around the classroom, no one seeming to have received an unexpected grade- everyone looked pleased, or at the very least resigned, but certainly not confused.
It wasn't a big deal, right? It's not like Sirius needed to be a great writer. He was phenomenal at the practical aspect of any class, he'd never encountered a spell he couldn't do without a little practice, he was a goddamn good wizard. An Animagus. Despite what his parents said, he was smart, he was talented, he was capable. Wasn't he?
"What's wrong with it?" he asked Pomona after class. He was aware that he sounded angry and looked sullen. And he hated acting like a baby, like someone who would care what herbology grade he received. He shook his head, trying to clear his brain, and then pasted on a smile. "Sorry, I mean, I'm just a bit confused as to what you meant about it being rambly. Was it really that bad?"
"I'm confused, too, Sirius," said Pomona. "Your writing- when you actually get the information right- is usually impeccable. And here it's very, very clear that you've done your research, but the paper itself- it's disorganized, it's sloppy, it doesn't make a clear point. I'm happy to let you rewrite the paper, or make it up with an extra credit assignment or whatever you need, don't worry about that. But I wanted to ask if something was wrong?"
"If something was wrong?" he asked, carefully raising an eyebrow, trying to express polite confusion rather than bewilderment.
"Well, NEWT year is very difficult, and- you have a lot going on," Pomona said gently.
Christ, did all the teachers know about his stupid parents and his stupid injury and his stupid moving in with the Potters? Frankly, that was none of Pomona's business.
"No," he said, tight, clipped. "Nothing's wrong."
Pomona nodded, and with a slight frown, dismissed him from the classroom.
"Damn, Padfoot, you must've bombed that essay for Pomona to even care," said James, grinning. As supportive of a friend as he usually was, he never missed a chance to tease his fellow Marauders- and Sirius suspected James was being extra vindictive since the, erm, Snape incident.
"Yeah, not my best work," Sirius agreed lightly.
"I thought it was hard too," said Peter.
"Well, that's no surprise," said James, nudging Pete with his elbow.
"I still can't believe she made you write it," Remus said, turning to Peter. "Seems like you had, er, enough firsthand experience with vinea mortiferum."
This was true. It was rather rude of Pomona to make Peter write a paper on a plant that'd almost strangled him to death.
"I did a good job where she talked about the attack mechanisms," said Peter with a shrug and a laugh.
James and Remus laughed too, but Sirius was silent, thinking. Why did Peter trigger the plant? From his readings, it didn't seem like the plant was too likely to mutate or backfire, at least not the ones Professor Sprout was growing. Mutated vinea mortiferum tended to die off in very early stages. It also wasn't likely that the plant had been triggered by stress- otherwise, his herbology textbook had noted, anyone who had the misfortune to walk by one of these plants on exam day would find themselves strangled.
"Sirius?" Remus said, nudging him lightly.
He shook his head. "Sorry."
"For Padfoot's benefit, I'll repeat myself," said James. He was walking rather briskly ahead of them, but had turned around backwards to face his friends. The other students in the corridors scattered quickly as James's backside approached them. "I was thinking, the weather's so nice, we could go eat lunch on the grounds today."
The weather was oddly pleasant for a November day. 65 degrees and sunny. "Sounds great," said Sirius.
The Marauders hurried to the Great Hall and grabbed scones, sandwiches, pumpkin juice and anything else they could find that looked somewhat portable. Stuffing it all in Peter's rucksack, the four ducked under James's invisibility cloak, and before they knew it, they were out of the castle, sitting in a circle on the green, grassy hills.
Sirius bit into his scone, sighing as the sunlight traveled across his face. Everything was so easy out here. The air smelled full and light and round, and all he could hear was the voices and laughter of the three people he loved most in the world.
"I wish we could bring cassette tapes to Hogwarts," Remus said suddenly.
"Cassette?" James asked, bemused. Sirius leaned forward. He had never heard that word either.
"Plays music," Peter explained through a mouthful of sandwich. "For Muggles. I always miss Muggle music when I'm here."
"It's so much better than Wizard music, isn't it?" Remus said, and Peter nodded emphatically.
Sirius turned up his nose. "Impossible. Muggles don't even have half the instruments we do!"
"Mhm," said Remus, "but they've got better ones! Like the ukulele."
"Bless you?" James said.
Remus waved a hand, exasperated. "It's like a small guitar."
"Why d'you need a small guitar when you can have a regular sized one? Is it, like, for going abroad or something?" Sirius asked, confused.
Peter scoffed at this, clearly agitated, and would've likely gone on an entire rant about ukuleles if Remus hadn't cut in. "You know what, never mind," he said, "all I meant is it would've been nice to listen to music."
James smiled mischievously, running a hand through his already messy black hair. "Watch this." He waved his wand gently.
A soft breeze began to trickle through the long grass, each blade obediently swinging in the wind, creating a low, melodic whistle. Another ribbon of wind wound through the bushes, prompting a slightly higher melody, and this process continued until everything around them, from the trees to the pebbles on the lake, were humming softly.
"Requests?" asked James, grinning at the awe Sirius was sure was reflected across his face.
"Strawberry fields," said Peter.
"Hmm?"
"Oh, right, you don't know Muggle music," he said, in a tone that Sirius considered unnecessarily sharp. "Batty, then, I guess."
James waved his wand yet again, conducting the orchestra he'd made out of nature until the melody began to resemble the popular song.
"When- and why- did you learn to do this?" Remus asked, amused.
James blushed and looked down, opting to laugh rather than answer.
"Oi, c'mon now, mate, you have to tell us now," Sirius teased.
"Okay, okay." James dug his toe into the grass. "I learnt it for my first date with Lils- Lily. I just, you know, thought she'd like it."
"And did she?" said Remus, hazel eyes sparkling.
He blushed again, smiled crookedly. "Quite."
Sirius leaned forward, balanced on the balls of his feet. "I can't believe how much effort you're putting into that girl, my god."
"A little effort is nice sometimes, Sirius," Remus teased with a laugh.
"I wish I had a girlfriend." Peter was petulant, and his furrowed brows contrasted sharply with the grins of Remus, Sirius and James. Sirius was struck by how much Peter just did not fit in. Didn't belong? That was stupid to think, and it made him feel ill, because he loved Peter, loved him like a brother… and yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
Dark wizards existed at Hogwarts, or at least dark wizards in training- Snivellus and Macnair and Avery and their crowd. Regulus, as much as it pained Sirius to admit it, was getting sucked in more and more every day. But that was a Slytherin clique, something that Peter, like any Gryffindor, stayed far away from… so even if he was up to something, the likelihood that that something was bad was out of the question.
Right?
They finished their lunch in silence- James content, eyes closed, swaying to the music he had created; Remus strewn across Sirius's lap, Peter brooding over his sandwich, and Sirius watching Peter out of the corner of his eye.
"You know," he said suddenly, testing the waters. "Remus gets plenty of girls writing him
letters, love poems, chocolate frogs. Maybe he could send them your way."
Remus laughed uncomfortably while Peter rolled his eyes. "That's not what I mean. Plus, doesn't everyone know about you and Remus? Why would they-"
"Mm, he's just too irresistible," Sirius said, stroking his boyfriend's hair.
"What kinda girlfriend are you looking for, then, Pete, if not one of Remus's adoring fans?" James asked, smirking.
"Someone hot. Maybe a seventh year. And cool, you know, like Elaine-"
"Elaine!" James exclaimed with a laugh. "I never knew you had a goth girlfriend fantasy-"
"A fantasy that I, personally, am living," said Remus with a grin.
Sirius decided to worry about how good it felt to be called "girlfriend" another time. Not that he minded being a boyfriend either.
"Well, ask Elaine out then, Pete," said Sirius with a smile.
"Can't."
Right, okay. Because she's a Slytherin. Because she's friends with Rookwood and Avery. Because she's going to be a Dark witch as soon as she gets out of here. With all this in mind, Sirius leaned forward, shunting Remus out of his lap. "Why not?"
"You're kidding, right, she's so out of my league," Peter said.
"And an awful person!" James chimed in emphatically. Sirius sighed internally. He'd been hoping to see whether Peter would ever arrive at that conclusion himself.
"That, too," Peter said, bending, as always, to the flow of the conversation.
"Well, we should head back, probably," said Remus, checking his pocket watch. "Class starts in five minutes."
Peter groaned. "What do we have now, anyway?"
All faces turned to Remus.
"History of Magic."
"Skipping it," James said instantly.
"No chance. Not when the weather's this nice," Sirius agreed.
"Ugh, guys, I have a D in that class, I really can't skip anymore," said Peter with a groan.
"S'okay, Pete, I'll go with you. Since I'm responsible," Remus said, feigning annoyance.
The two walked away, leaving Sirius and James to languish in the grass and ignore their responsibilities- Sirius's preferred state of being.