Summary:

The other Vice-Captains are done with Kirsch's pining over Zora. They are resolute in their efforts to do something. Finral has a plan. Kirsch does not like this plan. Nacht finds this plan hilarious.

Notes:

The second installment of the Vice-Captains' series!

Matchmaking Adventures: Operation Jealousy

By:

IAmStoryteller

"No. Absolutely not. I markedly refuse," said Kirsch, shaking his head vehemently.

"Come on, Kirsch, it'll do you some good," said Finral, needling.

"Finral, Zora is not going to care whether or not I go on a date with someone else," said Kirsch. "Just face facts. He's not in love with me, like I am with him!"

"He'll care," interjected Mackenzie, with a big grin on her face. "He'll care especially if you go on a date with a hot peasant."

"When did the Vice-Captains' meeting turn into bullying Kirsch time,'' Kirsch asked, incredulously.

"It's always been that way, Vice-Captain Kirsch," said Erica, teasingly. "But let's be serious, I think you should just be straightforward with Zora. Zora seems like a guy who appreciates honesty and directness. Besides, Finral's plans usually have a way of going awry."

"Hey! My plans are great," said Finral, protesting.

"So you say," said Kirsch, tensely. He sat in Marx's office with his fellow Vice-Captains, except Langris and Yuno, who fled the room the moment Finral said he had a plan to help Kirsch with Zora. It was technically after the monthly paperwork meeting and venting session, but everyone else, even Nacht, stuck around to listen to Finral's crazy scheme. Kirsch may have brought Zora up again during the venting session, which prompted this whole ordeal.

"Be grateful I talked him out of the previous plans," said Nacht, simply.

What were the previous plans? Kirsch grimaced. "Finral, seriously. Zora is not going to care. And Mackenzie, don't you dare think about making me date one of yours as a punishment."

Mackenzie was secretly chaotic, which was likely why she fits into the Azure Deer squad so well. Other than Randall, Kirsch has known Mackenzie the longest, as she, Randall, and Kirsch were the only Vice-Captains who showed up to meetings for the longest time. It was in Kirsch's opinion that they were lucky that Mackenzie decided to be a Magic Knight and became a Vice-Captain to Rill and not an evil mastermind.

She smirked and said, "Listen, Stephen deserves whatever happens to him. He gave Captain Rill ice cream before bed last week. I was up with Captain Rill all night because he had a "tummy ache.""

"Added bonus that Stephen is very handsome and charming and also from Hampshire," said Erica, grinning too.

"Erica, don't support Mackenzie's scheming," said Kirsch.

Finral said, gesturing wildly and excited, "Exactly why Stephen is perfect to take you out on a date. We'll tell him the details as a warning, because I can't tell you what Zora will do when he finds out."

"Nothing. Zora won't do anything because he won't care," interjected Kirsch, who was ignored by his fellow Vice-Captains.

"Stephen can hold his own," said Mackenzie, nodding. "He can take a punch."

"As long as the property damage is kept to a minimum, I don't care," said Marx, heavily sighing.

"I think I need plausible deniability," said Randall, shaking his head and getting out of his chair. "Good luck, Kirsch, you're going to need it."

"I'm not doing this," said Kirsch, with a tone of finality.

Two Days Later…

"I'm so sorry that you were dragged into this, Stephen," said Kirsch, apologetically to Stephen Cadfan, a 1st Class Intermediate Magic Knight of the Azure Deer squad. He stood in front of a flower shop in Kikka, where he had agreed to meet Stephen. Azure Deer's Headquarters was near Kikka, so it was only fair that Kirsch made the trek since Stephen was technically doing Kirsch's favor.

Stephen laughed deeply. "It's not a big deal. I figured that the Vice-Captain was gonna punish me. I can't help it if the Captain's sad eyes break me. Hope this will help you with your man."

Kirsch felt his face warm and he stuttered out, "He's not my man. I'm pretty sure he tolerates me at best."

Stephen was a handsome man with green eyes and fluffy black hair. He had a nice smile and a pleasant personality.

If only I could actually get over Zora, Kirsch thought to himself.

Stephen said, sympathetically, "I'm sure that ya can't see clearly, which is why your friends are doing this. Let's give 'im a good show. Hopefully, Zora won't murder me. I've seen him fight Magna and Luck without batting an eye."

Kirsch chuckled, fondly thinking of Zora in battle. "He's very impressive."

Stephen held out his hand gentlemanly and said, "Let's start this. I think Finral and Nacht are getting Zora here."

Kirsch smiled and took Stephen's big, warm, soft hand.

He wished it was Zora's hand.

"Why did I've ta come with ya two? Ain't two Vice-Captains enough to fetch supplies," Zora asked, annoyed, which was usually his default attitude.

"You have to pull your weight, Mr. Disappears-All-the-Time," said Finral, jokingly.

"Be useful for once," said Nacht, smiling that creepy smile of his.

"Ya two suck," said Zora. Zora had the feeling that they were up to something. Finral and Nacht had become friendly since Nacht began going to the Vice-Captain Meetings regularly. He didn't know what they were up to but Zora wanted to know. Finral was a terrible liar. Nacht was a good liar and he often liked to mess with Zora for the hell of it. The two Vice-Captains were in cahoots. Zora just knew it. "What's next on the list?"

"Noelle wants quill pens," said Finral, with the supply list in his hands.

"We can get Gauche and Gordon's stationary too while we're at it," said Nacht.

Zora sighed. He shook his head. He didn't know why everyone just didn't do their own shopping. Then again, it was more efficient to have one or two people go on one supply run monthly or weekly, depending on how much stuff everyone goes through at the base. The three Black Bulls turned the corner, while Finral and Nacht argued over which shop had the best sales on stationery supplies.

Vermillion hair caught Zora's gaze.

Kirsch often drew Zora's attention and there the Vice-Captain of the Coral Peacocks stood outside a bakery.

"Hey, it's Kirsch, let's go say hi," said Finral, grabbing Zora by the arm and pulling.

The Black Bulls trio walked over to Kirsch. Kirsch smiled awkwardly at them. "Finral, Nacht, Zora, good afternoon."

Kirsch looked as pretty and cute as ever. His face was a bit pink and Kirsch wouldn't look at Zora. Zora tried not to feel hurt but failed. He thought they had been getting along better. In fact, Zora didn't mind Kirsch so much anymore. He liked Kirsch's company whenever Kirsch tagged along with Mimosa to visit Noelle. He simply liked Kirsch, but he'd never say a word when Zora definitely had no chance.

Finral said, "What brings you to Kikka, Kirsch?"

Kirsch startled, face getting pinker by the second, and said, stumbling over his words. "A date."

"Good for you," said Nacht.

That had Zora's mind reeling. Nacht and Finral are definitely up to something. Nacht would never say something nice like that unless it was Asta. Shit, shit. Zora narrowed his eyes at Finral and Nacht. I'm gonna kill them both for what I don't know yet.

"That's great, Kirsch," said Finral, grinning.

"Yes, it's a first date," said Kirsch, refusing to meet Zora's gaze.

Zora felt like his heart plummeted to his stomach. A first date? Kirsch's on a real first date? Who had the balls to ask him out? Zora looked at Kirsch and he knew people, he knew Kirsch. Kirsch was telling the truth.

"Ah! Sorry it took so long, Kirsch," said a man's voice.

Zora's eyes narrowed, as one of Rill's squad members came out of the bakery with a small box. What was his name again? Sven? Steven? Stephen? Yes, it was Stephen. Zora tried not to scowl and glare. This one was one that often caved to Rill's whims.

"It's alright. Just ran into the Black Bulls," said Kirsch, gently.

"Hey, Black Bulls. What's happenin'," asked Stephen, smiling charmingly.

Zora resisted the urge to use his stink bug right then and there, but he didn't want to ruin Kirsch's date. That wouldn't be fair.

"Hope you two have fun," said Finral.

"We will! I got a date with the prettiest fella in the kingdom," said Stephen, having the audacity to put his arm around Kirsch's shoulder.

Kirsch's face went immediately red and Kirsch stammered out, "You-you have good taste, Stephen."

Stop touching him, you bastard, can't you see he's uncomfortable? Zora thought to himself. He bit inside his mouth and tasted blood.

"Welp, we won't keep you," said Finral, grabbing Zora's arm once again, but Zora didn't feel like leaving just yet and didn't let Finral move him. "Bye, Kirsch!"

This time, Nacht grabbed Zora's other arm and they left Kirsch and his date behind. Leaving Kirsch in another man's arms made his heart ache, but that just be the fact that Zora might have stopped breathing.

"You need to breathe," said Nacht, once they were several blocks away.

Finral asked, genuinely concerned, "Are you alright, Zora? You look a little…"

"Murderous," Nacht finished, vaguely amused. "I wasn't aware that you had a problem with Stephen."

"I don't," Zora said, grumbling. "He's...fine."

"It's really great that Kirsch is putting himself out there and going on a date," said Finral, "don't you think, Zora?"

Zora glared at Finral. He wasn't going to say it out loud but he thought it. No. Finral, you dickhead, I will kill you. You know I like Kirsch after you and Vanessa took me drinking that one time.

"Just peachy," Zora said, deadpan.

"Stephen is a good man. Mackenzie speaks very highly of him," said Nacht, completely amused in that asshole way of his. "Although I think she'd rather that he'd follow her rules when it came to Captain Boismortier."

Zora grimaced. Yeah, yeah, Nacht, I know you think this is hilarious. Finral, what did you tell him? Traitor.

"Just the type of guy that Kirsch needs in his life," said Finral.

"You set them up on a date?" Zora blurted out.

"No. Mackenzie did," said Finral.

"Happened at the last Vice-Captain's meeting," said Nacht, nonchalantly.

"You're both assholes. I know you two are up to something," said Zora, gritting his teeth. He didn't stop glaring at either of them.

"We are not up to anything," said Nacht. "We have supplies to get and we just so happened to run into them."

Finral sighed. "Yeah, anyway, I need to remind you of a conversation you had with me, Vanessa and Gordon about dating. You said, "Does it look like I have fucking time for a relationship? Any possible feelings are just going to have to go away on their own." So, even if you liked…"

Zora said, "If you finish that sentence, I will make sure that your clothes smell like old eggs for the next month. I'm aware of what I said." I only said it because I don't have a chance in hell with Kirsch. Vanessa, Gordon, and Finral are hopeless romantics and they wanted me to confess or some bullshit like that.

Nacht rolled his eyes.

Finral put his hands up defensively and said, "Fine, fine, dropping it. Let's go to the stationery shop."

Nacht said, "We go to the one on Fifth."

Finral shook his head and said, "No, the one on Maple."

Zora sighed. It wasn't Finral's fault. Or Nacht's really. It was Zora's own bucket of abandonment, commitment, and insecurity issues that didn't make Zora want to put his heart out there for someone to just smash to pieces. His heart was already broken once when his father was murdered and he didn't want it to happen again if he said something to Kirsch. Zora didn't think he could take being politely rejected by Kirsch.

I never could impress Kirsch enough to get his attention that way. Guess just friends has to be enough.

Stephen was born in Hampshire in the Forsaken Realm, so Kirsch didn't have a problem dating peasants. Maybe it was just Zora that Kirsch had a problem within reality.

He hoped that Kirsch would be happy.

Don't be selfish, Zora. He's allowed to live his life the way he wants. He's his own person.

"I think he's broken," Nacht said, hissing quietly to Finral, while they were some distance away from Zora in the stationery shop on Fifth Street. "He hasn't said anything snarky in twenty minutes."

"He shut down. I didn't expect that," Finral whispered back. "I'd thought he'd just punch or prank Stephen and that'd be it."

"Maybe you were wrong," said Nacht, softly.

"I'm not," said Finral, shaking his head. "Otherwise, why'd he get so upset?"

A morose and quiet Zora stood at the end of the aisle of the stationary shop throwing whatever into the basket, not caring about the price or that he just put discount "Happy Anniversary" stationary prints in the basket.

"We need to fix this. Magna and Luck will kill us if we bring him back home like this," said Finral, worriedly.

Nacht rolled his eyes. "Great."

"I told Finral that it was useless," said Kirsch, forcing himself not to cry like a big baby, as they sat on a bench.

Zora did not react at all, just like Kirsch had thought. He didn't care that Kirsch was on a date with someone else. It really hurt Kirsch's heart to have things confirmed. He had harbored a little bit of hope, which was why he didn't want to do anything about his feelings for Zora. He'd rather have no confirmation that Zora didn't feel the same way and carry the love in his heart quietly than get his heart broken and be forced to move on.

Can't I just be in love with Zora forever and never move on?

"Hey, don't cry," said Stephen, patting his back. "He definitely looked ready to murder me."

"That's just his face," said Kirsch, sadly. "He usually looks like that to people, all glaring and intimidating. It's part of his charm."

"You've got some weird taste in men," said Stephen, half-teasing.

"I know it's awful," said Kirsch, moping. "He's just…"

"Your everything in that sickeningly romantic kind of way?" Stephen asked, supplied helpfully.

Kirsch groaned and covered his face with his hands and said, muffled, "Yes."

"Okay, so Finral's plan went belly-up, but the Vice-Captain said it would," said Stephen, far too calmly, but it was likely he was just like that from living in the Azure Deer base with Rill on the regular. "But I'm telling you that you definitely have a chance with Zora. Like a super big chance."

Kirsch dropped his hands and looked at Stephen. "You're being too nice."

"Not really, just stating the obvious," said Stephen, shrugging. Glancing over at something from behind Kirsch, and then he looked back at Kirsch, Stephen grinned and said, "Okay, don't freak out."

Kirsch blinked once and said, "Why would I…?"

And then Stephen leaned over and tried to kiss Kirsch on the lips, but on instinct, Kirsch slid back on the bench away from the person he didn't want to kiss (because he'd really only like to kiss Zora, thank you very much) when he ran out of bench and fell off of it.

He closed his eyes. This is so embarrassing. Kirsch's face was warm and he didn't want to look at Stephen's face at the moment, because he thought that, maybe, Stephen got the wrong message. He went to ask what the heck Stephen was thinking when he heard Stephen yelping and cursing in pain. He also heard Finral screech "let him go!" and Nacht chortling in laughter.

Kirsch opened his eyes.

(Handsome and wonderful) Zora had Stephen in a headlock and had his stink bug right in front of Stephen's nose. And Zora was livid.

"That's enough, Zora," said Finral, trying to pull Zora away.

Nacht stood by, unhelpful as ever, just watching the chaos.

Kirsch wondered if the earth could open up and swallow him whole so he didn't have to deal with this embarrassment. This is all your fault, Finral. There has to be something in the unwritten rules of being Vice-Captains that I can complain about my fellow Vice-Captain and his stupid matchmaking plans. He stood up and did the only thing he could think of-he ran away.

As soon as a shocked and horrified Kirsch bolted, Zora dropped Stephen on the ground unceremoniously while Finral attended to Stephen. Zora sneered, "Finral, Nacht, what the fuck is going on?"

Finral helped Stephen sit up and said, "Well, don't get madder…"

Nacht scoffed. "Finral's plan was to make you jealous by having Kirsch go out on a date with Stephen here, in the hope that you'd get your head out of your ass and make a move on Kirsch before you two were old and gray."

Zora frowned. "What the fuck?" He glanced at Stephen. "So, it wasn't a real date?"

"Nope," said Stephen, grimacing. "You're stronger than you look, Zora."

"The fuck you were trying to kiss him then?" Zora asked, demanding.

"Because I saw you three rounding the corner and knew that the only reason that you didn't deck me either was out of respect for Kirsch's choices," said Stephen, simply. "The kiss thing wasn't Finral or Kirsch's idea. I figured that you'd jump to Kirsch's defense when he moved away."

Zora gritted his teeth. He glared at Finral. "This is your fault." And then he glared at Nacht. "And yours. Why the fuck didn't you stop him?"

Nacht shrugged. "Well, this was plan J. There were many other and worse plans."

Zora breathed in and out and said, menacingly, "Finral, Nacht, you had better watch your backs." He looked down at Stephen and said, "You'll probably regain your sense of smell in a few days...maybe. Sorry."

Stephen grinned. He was definitely an Azure Deer. They were all off their rocker (not that Zora had any room to talk, being in the Black Bulls and all). "Eh, it'll be fine. But what are you waiting for, man? Go after Kirsch."

Zora didn't say anything else and ran in the direction where Kirsch ran away and hoped that he was still in town.

Kirsch sat on the ground, outside the town borders of Kikka, leaning against a tree. He needed to calm down a bit before going home. Levi and Cornelia didn't know that he had been coerced into Finral's plan by the other Vice-Captains. They weren't going to take it well that he didn't tell them. He breathed in and out. Ugh, why can't I ever be cool and awesome in front of Zora instead of being lame? He thought to himself as his throat felt tight.

"Hey," said Zora, approaching Kirsch.

Kirsch made an unintelligible noise when he finally got out a "Hi."

"Can I sit?" Zora asked.

He didn't trust himself not to sound like a moron, so he nodded.

Zora sat next to him on the ground and said, "Sorry."

"What for? You didn't do anything?" Kirsch asked, confused.

Zora rubbed the back of his head with his hand and said, "It's my fault that Finral came up wit' this stupid plan in the first place, 'cause he knows I like ya. He's always got it in his head that he's a master at romance when he can't spit out his own feelings either."

Kirsch stared at Zora. "You like me? Really?"

"Yeah, a lot," said Zora, nodding. He mumbled, "'Course, I know ya won't like me like that..."

"Zora, I'm in love with you," said Kirsch, blurting out his feelings.

It was Zora's turn to be shocked. "What?"

"It's really my fault, because all the Vice-Captains' know how smitten I am with you and they were trying to help but oh, God, this is all a big mess. Erica was right, I should have just talked to you like a normal person, but I didn't think you'd…" Kirsch said, babbling.

And then Zora held Kirsch's hand.

Kirsch stared at their joined hands for a moment, before looking into Zora's eyes, and said, "Zora, I love you." Though Kirsch couldn't see most of his face, Zora's ears were bright red and the blush went all the way down Zora's chest. "Can I take you on a date sometime?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," said Zora, softly and oh, so gently.

Kirsch squeezed Zora's hand and he knew that he didn't ever want to let go.

The Following Month's Vice-Captains' Meeting

"So, are we going to address the fact that we all got vaguely threatening messages from Zora or no?" Mackenzie asked.

"We didn't," said Yuno, pointing at him and Langris.

"That's because Zora respects Mimosa and doesn't want to piss her off," said Finral, sighing. His hair was orange and has been for a month and Vanessa cannot figure out a way to get the dye out (after Vanessa forgave Finral for actually trying one of his matchmaking plans without her).

Nacht, who had been plagued with green hair (Finral suspected that Nacht's devils helped Zora with the prank because Finral wasn't sure that Nacht ever slept in the base), said, "He's become unbearably protective. Kirsch, do you really have time to sneak into Zora's room every night?"

Kirsch said, humming happily, "Yes, I do. I'm a professional Vice-Captain and my work is important to me, but I'm allowed to have a life outside of it." Kirsch had been in a happy daze for weeks and since Finral saw him regularly now, it was obvious that Kirsch was really far more head-over-feet for Zora than he previously thought.

""Professional," says the guy with a giant hickey on his neck without any shame at a Vice-Captains' meeting," said Vivian, snorting.

Kirsch's hand went to his neck and flushed red. "Oh, shut up. Let me be happy."

"No, but seriously," said Mackenzie, again stressing the same question, "should we be worried about Zora getting revenge on the rest of us? Look at Nacht and Finral's hair? Can't you talk him down, Kirsch?"

Finral sighed.

Nacht shook his head.

Kirsch smiled goofily and asked, "Why would I? He's so sweet and cares so much."

The rest of the Vice-Captains audibly groaned.

"And here we thought he'd calm down with the Zora praise if he confessed, but in fact, it's gotten worse now that they are together," said Erica.

At the front of the room, Marx asked, loudly, "Can we please get back to the meeting?! We're only on page 7!"

~fin