Chapter 35
4 Years and 4 Months after the Hundred Year War
Agna Qel'a, Northern Tribe capital
Several months passed, with Katara and Azula continuing their stay with the Northern Water Tribe. This was a period of her life that Katara already knew she would later look back at with great fondness, and Azula seemed to share the sentiment. Katara could not remember when she had last heard any complaint either about the cold, the Water Tribe cuisine, or just some general whining about the savage and uncultured tribesmen. As Katara had hoped and predicted, Azula had settled in, becoming used to her new surroundings.
And the citizens of Agna Qel'a had also become used to their royal guest, their politeness no longer having to be reinforced by Chieftain Arnook and his political necessities. It always warmed Katara's heart to see Azula smiling genuinely as she greeted some passersby, often stopping to engage in some small talk whether it was about the latest turn of the weather or size of the fishermen's latest haul. As time went by, it seemed that Azula gradually began to understand what it meant to be a part of community, accepting the benefits of the support structure that it provided.
As far as their relationship was concerned, the word that Katara liked to use to describe it was 'thriving'. When it came to exploring their intimacy, it seemed that they both possessed limitless sexual curiosity, always eager to learn something new about each other, always willing to experiment, and this boded well for a lasting relationship between the couple. As time passed, the urgency of those first days slowed down to a much more reasonable and healthier pace when it came to their sexual encounters, though obviously, they were still having plenty of sex. Lots and lots of sex, that made them both deliriously happy.
When it came to Azula's sessions with Yagoda, there had been a small adjustment. Yagoda no longer seemed to find any point in tormenting Azula with lengthy conversations, and so, she had found more and more activities for them to undertake together. At some point, Katara had expressed her desire to deepen her knowledge of waterbender healing, and Yagoda had arranged for more training for her. As a result, Katara spent a lot of time at the healing huts, practicing and also putting her skills to work with the patients, of which there seemed to be quite many. Seeing an opportunity for another activity for them to engage in together, Yagoda appointed Azula to assist at the healing huts. Despite the concept of healing and nurturing being at odds with Azula's more fiery nature, the girl still coped well with what was asked of her. Also, the arrangement filled Katara's head with a lot of ideas involving Azula in a sexy nurse's outfit, but she supposed that those ideas would have to wait until they left the cold of the North. Skimpy outfits may have been sexy, but freezing to death wasn't.
It was on one such afternoon spent seeing to the patients at the healing huts, that Yagoda came in to pull Katara aside while Azula was being kept busy by the grateful patient, about to be discharged. The old healer had a thoughtful look on her face, as if she had something grave on her mind, and Katara could not help but feel a little alarmed as she followed her mentor inside a private space at the healing huts.
"Katara, I think you should know that I have recently received a letter," Yagoda spoke up, wasting no time once they were finally alone. When the old healer retrieved the envelope, Katara immediately recognized whom it was from. Over the years she had received many letters bearing the seal of the Fire Lord, as Zuko liked to stay in touch with her. Especially once she had started to express her discontent in her relationship with Aang...
"I didn't think that Zuko would write to you personally," Katara remarked, feeling a little surprised.
"He is a very smart young man, and he cares a great deal about his sister, which is why he came to see me during his stay at the capital," Yagoda nodded. "Fire Lord Zuko is inquiring about the progress that Azula has made, and he is asking if she is ready to return to the Fire Nation, as a fully rehabilitated member of the royal family."
"And... what are you going to reply to him?" Katara asked with trepidation.
Yagoda let out a sigh. "I won't lie to you, Katara, I am conflicted. I can see that deep inside Azula is a sweet girl, and I can tell that she's trying very hard. And yet, there is one thing about her progress that is still concerning me."
"And that thing is?" Katara asked, even if she already knew the answer. It was the same concern that she had acknowledged many, many months ago, and it was still just as relevant today.
"The progress that she has made is intrinsically linked to your relationship, Katara. You are her greatest motivator," Yagoda explained, Katara sighing inwardly when her concerns were confirmed. "She still seems to be making all this effort more for you, than for herself. I am concerned about what might happen if you are no longer there for her. There is a danger of her slipping back into her old ways."
"I don't plan to abandon Azula, Yagoda," Katara insisted firmly. "We're together, and I think it might be... for life." She felt a little scared having said those words. It was such a massive statement, and now that she had put it out there, it immediately frightened her.
"You can't know that, Katara," Yagoda shook her head with a serene smile. "You're both only nineteen. It's an age when attachments are formed and broken off quickly. There are no guarantees that you'll be together this same time next year."
"I think you're wrong," Katara insisted stubbornly. "We're different from most young people, because of what we went through during our childhoods. I don't think we're that flighty with our affections."
If anything, Katara was more confident about the strength and persistence of Azula's feelings than she was about her own. Azula had never known how to love anyone, and now that she finally had someone to open up to, Katara sensed that the princess was desperate not to lose that connection. She definitely did not have to fear about Azula falling for someone else. If anything, she was the flightier one if their past experiences counted for anything.
She had been quite fond of Haru, before falling really badly for Jet. Then she had struggled to understand what exactly she felt towards Aang for such a long time, and then she had also developed an ill-timed crush on Zuko. But while she was still working up her courage to do something about it, Mai had swept in directly after the war and pounced on Zuko before Katara could do anything. She had swallowed her disappointment and rushed back to Aang, acting like he had been her first choice all along. It was never going to work out, but she had been too young and inexperienced to realize that.
Still, all of those experiences had come when she had been fourteen or fifteen. She was a different person now, having done a lot of growing up. Katara didn't really think that she was flighty, and the proof lay in that after breaking up with Aang year and a half ago, she hadn't rushed into another relationship, instead she had simply continued to pursue her own interests. Yes, she had flirted with the idea of pursuing Zuko, and he had seemed responsive, but they had both been very cautious about it, valuing their friendship too much and being careful not to ruin it for the sake of a romance that could very well go nowhere.
And really, neither of those experiences of the past compared in their strength to what she now felt towards Azula. Those were just teenage crushes on young boys. What she shared with Azula, the emotional depth of it all... it was so very real, and they both knew and cherished it. Of course, she understood that convincing Yagoda of it would be impossible, it wasn't something she could put into words.
"I won't deny that what the two of you share is something special. It is beautiful to watch, it warms the heart of this old woman," Yagoda smiled softly. "And yet, I cannot in good conscience tell the Fire Lord that his sister is completely healthy and that I have no concerns whatsoever about her reintegration into society."
"I understand," Katara sighed. "What can we do to prove that she has recovered sufficiently?"
"You're not going to like it, Katara," Yagoda said. "I have to be sure that Azula still chooses to do the right thing and better herself even when you are not always around, encouraging her. I want you to depart Agna Qel'a and leave Azula in my care for another three months. Then I will be able to better judge her progress."
"W-what?" Katara gasped. The idea of parting with Azula for so long sent a sharp stab right to her heart, it hurt so much to even think about. "Leave Azula? I... I don't think I could..."
"I understand that it would break your heart, my child," Yagoda spoke softly. "But you would be doing it for her sake. And I wouldn't ask it unless it was important."
"I... I know..." Katara managed, just barely managing to bite back tears from escaping the corners of her eyes. "Spirits, I don't want to do this... but I guess there's no other choice, is there? I need to discuss it with Azula... I don't think she is going to take it well."
"If she does not take it well, then that is additional proof that we are right to be concerned," Yagoda nodded at her. "Talk it over with Azula, please. And try not to postpone this talk. The Fire Lord expects my reply soon."
"I understand..." Katara sighed. "Fine. I'll talk it over with Azula tonight..."
By the time evening arrived, Katara still hadn't worked up the courage to discuss the pressing issue raised by Yagoda with her girlfriend. It was already late in the evening, and Azula was busy testing her interest in their usual sexual escapades, the princess becoming visibly disappointed with Katara's half-hearted response, the waterbender appearing too distracted.
"Is something wrong?" Azula finally asked, pulling away, concern marring her beautiful features. "Have I done something to upset you?"
"Spirits, no! Azula, don't think that!" Katara exclaimed, horrified. "I'm sorry... there's something we need to talk about, but I just can't bring myself to do that because it's... well, you're not going to be happy, Zula."
"You're scaring me, Kat," Azula appeared very nervous. Katara immediately tried to pull the princess into a tight embrace to reassure her, but Azula resisted, keeping her at arm's length. "Tell me what's going on," her voice was trembling as she spoke. Katara was by now keenly aware that Azula had the tendency to assume the worst, so this needed to be handled quickly and delicately.
"Yagoda pulled me aside earlier to speak about a letter she had received from Zuko," Katara explained. "Your brother is asking Yagoda if you are ready to come home to the Fire Nation."
"But... that's good news, isn't it?" Azula blinked, clearly not understanding.
"Yes, but the problem is that... Yagoda is not certain if you're ready," Katara admitted.
"What? How dare she!" Azula leapt out of the bed and began to pace back and forth their quarters. "I've tried so hard to prove myself, and she's just going to keep me here forever? That bitter old shrew, I'm going to set her on fi-..." the princess froze just in time before finishing her sentence, cringing from what she had just said. "Agni, I'm... proving her right, aren't I?"
"Azula, it's alright to be angry, I get angry as well," Katara smiled at her lover. "It's fine, as long as you don't actually set her on fire."
"Well... that depends on what her exact cause for concern is," Azula frowned. "What have I been doing wrong?"
"You've been doing great, Azula, her concern is something I already brought up with you once before," Katara sighed. "It's... our relationship."
"Alright, I've had it with people who are dead set against us dating, now she's really going up in flames!" Azula burst out angrily.
"No, no, she doesn't disapprove of us," Katara uttered quickly. "It's just that... Yagoda is concerned that too much of your desire to get better is tied to our relationship. She is worried that if we were to drift apart, you would then slip right back to your old ways."
"But... we're not going to drift apart... right?" Azula was shaking slightly as she spoke.
"Not if I have anything to say about that," Katara nodded fervently. "Still, it's... not an unreasonable concern. I mean... accidents can happen. And despite what you might think, I do have some enemies. If I couldn't be there for you any longer..."
"I can't stand the thought of that, please don't say such things..." Azula sobbed.
"I'm sorry, but these questions have to be asked. I regret that they sound so cruel," Katara sighed. "And I need you to answer these questions honestly, Azula. Please, do it... for me. What would you do if something happened to me?"
"I'd hunt down those responsible and melt the flesh from their bones!" Azula exclaimed passionately.
"Well... I can't object to that," Katara smiled. "But after that?"
"You're asking me whether I would rekindle my dreams of ruling the Fire Nation? Or maybe carving out an empire of my own?" Azula asked. "The truth is... I don't know. But what I do know is that I couldn't go back to who I was. Some of the changes I've made are permanent, Katara. I would probably go back to the Fire Nation, because I do want to have a relationship with my brother. And I would like to be a good friend to Ty Lee. Beyond that, I can't say. And I don't know if this answer will satisfy Yagoda, but it's the only one I can give."
"She wants to make sure of your sincere commitment to self-betterment in a different way, Azula," Katara sighed.
"In what way?" Azula asked, her golden eyes narrowing.
"By seeing that you're still committed to get better when I'm not constantly around you," Katara replied, lowering her eyes. "She wants me to go away for a while, Azula."
"What?" Azula gasped. "No! No, I... I won't let you!" she exclaimed, appearing terrified as she jumped back into the bed and threw her arms around Katara, shaking like a leaf. "Please, Kat... don't leave me. Everyone does, but... I had hoped that at least you wouldn't..."
"Oh, Azula..." Katara sighed, holding her girlfriend tightly against her chest. "I don't want to be parted from you. The thought of it alone breaks my heart. But you do want to go home to the Fire Nation, don't you?" Azula nodded hesitantly. "Then maybe us parting for a few months might be worth it, wouldn't you say so?"
"I... I'm scared," Azula managed. "I'm so afraid that you won't come back to me..."
"Azula, I love you. I love you so much," Katara spoke soothingly, tracing Azula's brow with quick kisses. "I'd wait three months or three years, just to be with you again. You're the one for me, I know that by now. Nothing's going to change that, definitely not some brief parting."
"I don't suppose there's any other way we could convince Yagoda..." Azula sighed.
"I don't think so," Katara shook her head sadly. "I know that you can do it, Azula. I trust you, fully and unconditionally. And I know that our love will survive this."
"Well... I suppose if there's no other way..." Azula reluctantly accepted her fate. "But I'm going to need plenty of reassurances about your feelings, Kat..."
"Don't worry, Zula," Katara smiled at her before flipping the princess over in the bed, rolling on top of her and starting to kiss her heatedly. "We have all night ahead of us..."
It had been a strange night for the couple. There had been a lot of cuddling, a lot of crying, and then there had been sex... so much sex. The following morning, when they stood before Yagoda once again, holding hands, they both were barely holding back the tears, knowing what was about to follow.
"We've decided to satisfy your request," Katara told Yagoda, trying to keep her voice steady. "I'm going to depart Agna Qel'a as soon as I can arrange transportation."
Yagoda appeared a little surprised at her pronouncement, turning to face Azula. "Are you in agreement with Katara's decision, Azula?" she asked softly.
"I am," Azula nodded, somehow keeping herself together, her pride not letting her break down in front of Yagoda. "I don't like what you're asking of us, Yagoda, but if there is no other way to convince you of my desire to heal and become a better person, then... then I will go along with it. I'm going to prove that your doubts about me are misplaced."
"Well... I am very pleasantly surprised," Yagoda suddenly broke into a beaming smile as she stepped a little aside. When she returned, the old healer was carrying with her two letters. She held out one of them in front of her before tearing it up in pieces. Yagoda then walked up to Azula and handed her the other letter. "Nothing could make me happier than allowing you to deliver this letter personally into the hands of your dearly concerned brother," the old waterbender said with a smile.
"What?!" Katara let out a gasp.
"Yes... what is the meaning of this..." Azula managed weakly.
"This is what you wanted all along, is it not, Azula?" Yagoda chuckled. "A letter certifying that you have made great strides in your recovery and are ready to rejoin the society at large."
"But... but how? Why?" Azula stammered, wide-eyed.
"Yes, please explain, Yagoda," Katara insisted firmly. "You were so full of doubts yesterday."
"Indeed, I was, which is why I needed to see your reaction and hear your decision," Yagoda spoke gently. "And it sets aside all my doubts. You were prepared to make the sacrifice that I demanded, even though it brought both of you a great deal of pain. That speaks highly about your maturity, and the strength of your relationship. And let me just add how personally happy and relieved I am that you allowed me to make this decision. Rarely have I seen such a wonderful and harmonious couple, an unlikely pairing, yet still so well suited to one another."
"Thank you, Yagoda," Katara blurted out, dashing forward to embrace the old healer.
"Yes... thank you," Azula spoke, also coming to join in their embrace, tears of happiness streaming down the cheeks of both girls.
"I was only happy to be of help," Yagoda smiled as they parted. "Now, you might want to return to the palace and make your preparations for the journey home. I will let Arnook know that a boat is to be prepared. You should be able to depart later in the afternoon."
"That's amazing!" Azula exclaimed happily. "Home! I'm going home!"
Katara could not think of what to add to that, so she simply grabbed Azula and began kissing her deeply. She wasn't going home per se, but in a way... she already was home. As far as Katara was concerned, her home would always be with Azula.