"Jump, Lincoln!"
The cry was barely audible to the pale haired boy, his senses currently occupied by a cacophony of bleeps and bloops, buzzers and blares, and the ever present sound of screaming children. Still, a small part of his brain was able to pick out the desperate instruction, and reflexes long trained to respond to forceful female commands sprung into action. Without thinking, Lincoln right hand slid over and jammed a big red button, and in response, his tiny digital avatar hopped into the air, just barely avoiding being incinerated by a trio of fireballs.
Lincoln barely had time to bask in the satisfaction of successfully navagating the hazzard when a wall of spikes sprung into view.
"Jump again!"
Once more, Lincoln's avatar hurtled skyward, sailing clear of his impending doom before safely landing on the ground. Lincoln turned to his companion, wracking his brain for something clever to say—
WOOP WOOP WOOP
—And in the fraction of a second it took for him to leave his state of catlike readiness, an enormous rock crashed down from above and smashed his tiny man into pieces. GAME OVER, read the screen, mocking him.
"You didn't tell me to jump that third time." Lincoln said, fully turning away from the game.
"Well, yeah." Sid replied, rolling her eyes. "I can't be holding your hand the whole time, right? You've gotta spread your wings eventually."
"Touche." Lincoln leaned back to stretch, allowing his constricted joints to pop and snap in a very satisfying manner. As he did so, he caught a wiff of the tantalizing aroma of meats, cheeses, and tomato sauce, and his stomach began to rumble in anticipation. "You wanna go see if our pizza's ready?"
"Absolutely!" Sid shouted, reaching out and grabbing his hand. Lincoln looked down at their clasped appendages, and gave the girl a wry smile.
"It's okay now, obviously." She said, dragging him along with her. "You already lost the game."
The pair found themselves a booth and quickly went about setting down their drinks, an order of bread sticks, and a piping hot double meat lover's pizza with extra meat and a side order meat. The table set, they quickly sad down and began tearing into their meal.
For a time, the only sounds that could be heard were the gnashing of teeth, the sizzling of cheese, and an occasional exclamation of pain when one of the two bit into a slice that was still too hot for consumption.
"So." Sid began, once her hunger had been sated. "Horrible death aside, you seemed to be pretty good at that game."
"Jump Man?" Lincoln asked, now forcing himself to slow down. His body still cried out for sustenance, but Loud Family dining rules dictated that once someone engaged you in conversation, you were obligated to eat like a normal, dignified person until you'd satisfied their curiosity. Naturally, this had introduced an element of gamesmanship into family meals, and while some were conducted in complete silence, other more desirable dishes frequently lead to a bevy of short bursts of frantic conversation as each sibling strategically attempted to secure as much food for themselves, while denying their fellows the same. "I'm alright. I've played all the games, for what that's worth."
"Oooh." Sid leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. "So tell me about Jump Man then. What's his deal? What's he all about?"
"Well, he's a man." Lincoln said, settling down into his seat. "A man who does a lot of jumping. And conveniently, the vast majority of his problems can be solved by that very specific skill set."
"Does he love?" Sid pressed. "Does he yearn? Does he struggle with the knowledge that, while he's an extraordinarily skilled jumping man, that his proficiency in that field has denied him the opportunity to ever be anything else?"
Lincoln took a moment to consider this. "Not to my knowledge, no. But next year they're rebooting the series, retooling it to appeal to an older, more nuanced audience."
"How so?"
"Well, they haven't released too many details yet." Lincoln paused to drain the last of his soda. "But the name of the new game is Jump and Gun Man."
Sid shrugged. "Well, at least he's doing something with his life, right?"
"I suppose so." Lincoln chuckled, shaking his cup and now finding it woefully empty. "I'm gonna get a refill, you want one?"
Sid daintily plucking the lid off her cup, then downed the still mostly full beverage in a single gulp. "Yes please." She said, sliding the now spent beverage across the table.
Lincoln looked at the cup, then back to Sid, eyebrows raised high into the air. Finally, he shrugged. "Alright, I'll be right back.". And with that, he hopped out of his seat, snatched up the two cups, and disappeared into the crowd.
Sid waved to the departing boy for a few seconds longer than necessary, then slid back down into her seat, and let out a long, tortured sigh. This was so much harder than she'd thought it'd be!
It wasn't that Lincoln was a chore to be around, or anything like that. Quite the opposite, in fact, he was great! Cute, funny, good at pushing buttons. Really, he was the whole package, and not for the first time Sid found herself wondering what it was that made Ronnie so reluctant to pursue a relationship with him. Especially when it was so obvious that her loins still burned for his touch. Anyone with eyes could see that!
No, the problem was with her. She had no idea what she was doing! Which, to be fair, had never stopped her from doing anything before, but she'd also never felt so self conscious in her life!
She'd been bad at Lucha Libre, but the bones she'd broken had taught her so much about human anatomy that the experience absolutely paid for itself! And bathing that monkey had turned out to be surprisingly similar to bathing her little sister, so she'd quickly rose to the occasion. But Sid had never been on a date before! Granted, there was that time she and Ronnie had gone to the dance together because neither of them could find a date, but that wasn't anything close to being a real date! They hadn't even held hands, or slow danced, or anything! They just made out a little, and only because people had been giving them so many weird looks! Surprisingly, those same people had suddenly started being really nice to them afterwords. She'd made so many new friends that night!
Sid puffed out her cheeks and blew noisily, trying to push aside the a few errant hairs that had fallen across her face, without expending any physical effort. How did one go about dating a boy? Making out with them was obviously out of the question. It's not like she didn't want to, obviously, but what guy would respect a girl who just jumped on them and shoved their tongue down his throat? Granted, Ronnie had seemed to like it, but she also liked guacamole! Clearly, Ronnie Anne Santiago was not an authority on anything. She'd tried making conversation, but all that had come out was that thing about Jump Man. "Oooh, tell me all about Jump Man". Ugh. She shook her head in disgust.
Absentmindedly, she grabbed a few strands of her hair, puckered up her lips and lay the hair across the top. Mustache time always helped her think. She sat there for a few moments, twirling the faux facial hair as she contemplated her situation. She seemed to recall some half remembered advice that boys liked compliments, and loved talking about themselves. Maybe, if she was crafty, she could get Lincoln to open up about himself, and then she could just let him carry the conversation! Yes, yes. That sounded like a good plan, much harder to embarrass herself if she was putting the burden on somebody else.
Suddenly, a large cup of soda was placed onto the table in front of her.
"Hey Sid." Lincoln greeted her. "Got you your refill."
"You look nice!" An extremely high pitched voice shrieked. It took Sid several seconds to realize that she, in fact, was the one who'd said it.
"Dangit, Brain!" She scolded herself. "You had one job!"
"You look nice!" Sid shrieked all of a sudden.
Lincoln was stunned. Both by the suddenness of the exclamation, and by the way Sid's eyes bulged out immediately after saying it. Lincoln waited for a moment, still hunched over from placing Sid's drink on the table, just to see if there was anything else forcoming, but nothing came. He was actually starting to get a little worried, Sid was just sitting there, frozen in place, to such a degree that he couldn't even tell if she was breathing.
"Uh..." He ventured, tentatively reaching forward and slowly waving his free hand in front of her eyes.
"Your body!" Sid screamed, suddenly snapping into motion once more. Well, at least she was breathing again.
"Uh..." Lincoln repeated, not sure how to respond to that. Thankfully, he didn't need to. Sid snatched up her cup, tore the lid off and splashed herself in the face with the liquid inside. Immediately, her body untensed, and she slid back down into her seat.
"You...okay, Sid?" He asked, still trying to process this strange turn of events.
"Yup." The brunette nodded, sounding considerably more relaxed now, seemingly unconcerned about the soda still dripping from her face and hair.
"You sure?" Lincoln pressed. "Want me to get you another refill?"
"No thank you, Lincoln." She said, cheerfully. "I'm feeling very refreshed."
"Alright." Lincoln shrugged, returning to his seat. He had long come to realize that there were some things he'd never get a proper explanation on. Sometimes, girls were just weird, and it was as simple as that.
"What I meant, was that you look nicer than the last time I saw you." Sid clarified, flexing her skinny arms demonstratively. "More...uh, toned and stuff. You been working out?"
Lincoln shrugged noncommittally. "Not really. But my sister, Lynn, is kind of a health nut, and she likes to drag me along when she works out. So I guess I get a decent amount of second-hand exercise from that."
"And also from running around, trying to avoid being stomped on by crazy, giant women on a regular basis." He thought to himself. "And also Maggie." He added a moment later.
"Oh, wow! That's so cool!" Sid gestured to her arm, which if anything had gone concave when she tried to flex it. "I wish I was in better shape. Must be nice to have a live-in personal trainer."
"Uh..."
"Alright, Lincoln." Lynn announced, rubbing her hands together eagerly. "Time to run my brand new obstacle course! Any questions!"
"I have many." Lincoln sighed in exasperation.
"Well, you only get one! Time's a wasting!"
"Fine." He pointed, indicating what seemed to be the most pressing issue at the moment. "Why is one of the obstacles a bear? Heck, how did you even get one of those?"
Lynn shrugged. "Luan knows a guy. She got me a good deal."
"That just raises more question!" Lincoln shouted. He turned and gestured towards the third member of their trio. "And also, why is Lucy dressed like that?"
Lucy blushed, seemingly pleased at the attention. The diminutive goth had eschewed her normal outfit for a nurses ward dress, circa World War 2. Made out of black cloth as opposed to the traditional white, of course, and with a hand-painted Red Cross on the cap.
"I am here to pluck you from death's grasp, should you need it." She said softly, hefting a large medical bag as she did so. "I wasn't able to get leeches on such short notice, but I have plenty of bats."
Lincoln gulped loudly, his already pale skin going several shades whiter. "I-I really don't think—"
"Less thinkin', more obstaclin'!" Lynn shouted, effortlessly hoisting Lincoln off the ground and flinging him across the starting line. The upside was that Lynn had apparently underestimated her own strength, and had tossed Lincoln in such a way that he was flying right by most of the obstacles. The downside was that he was flying straight at the bear...
Lincoln jerked violently as the memory abruptly ended. Thankfully before he was forced to relive the really bad part...
"Y-yeah." He nodded, taking a long drink of soda. "It's pretty...pretty great."
"I'll bet!" Sid leapt up in her seat, hands clenched with determination. "Man, I wish I was jacked!" She exclaimed, punching the air demonstratively. It wasn't an especially intimidating sight.
"I'm nowhere near 'jacked'." Lincoln said, gesturing at his still very noodley body. "And it's not exactly an easy thing to do. Lynn works like a madwoman to maintain her physique. I think she only manages it because she just really liked working out."
"Though the super power probably help." He added, privately.
"But think of all the benefits!" Sid insisted, flopping back down in her seat.
"Such as?"
"You could open so many pickle jars!" Sid stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Peanut butter jars too."
Lincoln felt one his eyebrow raising, seemingly of its own volition. "You like pickles that much?"
"Not really." The brunette shrugged. "They're kinda gross. But I know a lot of people who do, and I like being helpful. I could be the one who opens them!" Lincoln shook his head in bemusement, having no response to this.
"That's a very noble goal." He pursed his lips, thoughtfully. "If you want, I could put you in touch with Lynn. Maybe the two of you could work something out."
"That would be awesome!" Sid squealed, bouncing up and down eagerly. Then she got odd look on her face. "Y-you...uh, you want me to meet your family?"
"Why not?" Lincoln's head tilted to the side in puzzlement, an expression he distantly recognized he must have picked up from Leni. "We're friends, right?"
Sid sat there, frozen in place, her face gradually reddening. "Yes." She said at last. "Yes we are."
Sid rolled back her sleeve and checked her wrist. "We'd better get going, it's almost time for the movie." Lincoln felt it would somehow be wrong to point out that she wasn't actually wearing a watch.
"Sounds good." He replied instead, climbing to his feet. "You think we'll make it in time?"
"Of course." Sid waved her hands dismissively as she made to do the same. "The movie will just so happen to be starting right when we get to the theater."
Lincoln blinked in surprise, unable to tell if she was joking. "That sounds...awfully convenient."
"Yep." And with that, Sid spun around and began to walk towards the exit. Lincoln reached out with one hand, and grabbed her before she could get too far away.
"Y-yes, Lincoln?" Sid asked, turning her head to look at him, the barest hint of a stutter in her voice. It quickly dawned upon Lincoln that this was likely because he'd inadvertently grabbed the girl by her bare shoulder. Only a few millimeters to the right, and he'd have gotten her by her shirt like he'd been planning. Funny how that worked out.
"You, uh..." He coughed nervously, trying to work through the awkwardness. "You want to wash your face first, before we go?"
"Oh!" Sid patted her face, still sticky with overpriced sugar water. "Yes. Yes I do."
Ronnie Anne Santiago flew...metaphorically speaking, dashing across the rooftops of the Great Lakes City skyline with inhuman alacrity. During those brief periods when she roof she was currently on would end, it was a simple matter of leaping to the next one, as simple for her, in her current state, as stepping over a rain simple, in fact, that she didn't have to think about what she was doing. Which left her brain free to contemplate what was actually worrying her.
Sid and Lincoln. Together. Ronnie felt her hand involuntarily clench into a fist as the thought ran through her mind for what must have been the umpteenth, time since she'd started her patrol, and she immediately clamped down on the tide of bitterness that began to well up inside her. After all, when you approached the problem in a rational manner, one could clearly see that she had nothing to worry about.
She and Sid were friends. She and Lincoln were friends. She, Sid, and Lincoln were friends. But there was no preexisting relationship here that was made up of just Sid and Lincoln. The three of them were a trio, like a tricycle. You can't just take one of the wheels off a tricycle, because then you'd end up with some freakish, Frankensteinian two-wheeled form of transport. And that clearly wouldn't work under any set of circumstances. And besides, the two of them had nothing in common! Sid was a cute, bubbly Asian girl, and Lincoln was a comic book loving, anime-watching dork. They were completely incompatible!
Ronnie internally winced as she dodged around a TV antenna and leapt up and over a large, inconveniently placed heating unit, effortlessly landing on her feet and immediately resuming her run, as if no obstacles had been there to begin with.
Ugh, who was she kidding? Sid was that doofus' wet dream. He'd probably already proposed to her by now and had a frank discussion about the ridiculous number of kids they'd have together. And of course she'd say yes! The two were so alike that it was sickening!
Ronnie briefly pulled herself from her thoughts as she noticed that she was soon to be without any more roof to run on at all. Fortunately, when you were in the city, densely packed groups of buildings weren't something you needed to look very hard for. A quick scan of her surroundings confirmed a nice cluster only a short distance away, relatively speaking. Too far to leap to, even for her, but she wasn't without her options.
Lowering her head, Ronnie put on a fresh burst of speed, magically enhanced leg muscles pumping tirelessly as they sent her towards her new destination. She reached the edge of the roof, and with a short flex of her legs, sent herself hurtling into the night sky. Up and forward she sailed, her form rendered functionally invisible against the glare of the city lights below. She took a moment to admire the scene laid out before her. This job was frustrating, and embarrassing beyond belief, but there were definitely some perks. However, it wasn't long before she could feel her momentum begin to dissipate.
Ronnie reached for the little brass rod she carried strapped to her waist. A flick of her wrist sent the length of ribbon attached to the rod flying towards her target, her accompanying mental command causing the ribbon to dramatically increase in length. It slammed into a nearby building and stuck there, in stark contrast to how frail and pink it appeared. At that point, it was a simple matter of holding on. Ronnie swung in a lazy arc, over and upward, releasing and retracting the ribbon at just the right point, sending her hurtling forward with fresh momentum, more than enough to see her to the distant rooftop she'd been aiming for. She landed on her feet, as daintily as if she'd just stepped off a bus, and paused for a moment to admire her handiwork.
Ronnie hated to admit it, but she couldn't be mad at Sid and Lincoln. They were...so alike that it was kind of infuriating. Cute and naive, optimistic to a fault, and with that strange do-gooder streak that tended to hurt them more than it helped anyone. And yet, they never let it get them down. They soldiered on, unjaded, unburdened by cynicism, Earnest and helpful, and so very...themselves, for lack of a better word. It was no wonder she found herself drawn to them, she mused. Sid mirrored all of Lincoln's best aspects, how could he not be attracted to that? Plus, she could do that thing with her tongue...
Ronnie's train of thought was interrupted as the ground before her began to quake. Which was distressing, because she was really high up off the ground! She swayed for a moment, barely managing to maintain her balance. Thankfully, the quakes quickly subsided, and she breathed a short sigh of relief. She really didn't want to fall over while she was wearing this thing. Even with nobody around to see, her dignity...or at least, what was left of it, simply couldn't take it!
Dignity thus preserved, if even just for the moment, Ronnie dashed to the edge of the rooftop and glanced around, hoping to discover the source of the disturbance. She didn't have to look very hard.
There, in the distance, she could see an inhumanly large shadow looming over the over a portion of the city. Easily the size of a building, if not larger. The "evil", presumably, that he grandma had warned her about.
"...Dang it." Ronnie grumbled, suddenly feeling very small, in more ways than one. Still, this was the job, the thing that had fallen upon...what was quickly beginning to feel like her entirely too unqualified shoulders. She was the only one who could handle this. Probably.
And with that happy thought in mind, Ronnie Anne Santiago lashed out with her garish, ribbony transport, and sent herself swinging into the air once more.
"I hope those two Lame-O's are having fun." She grumbled to herself.
Sid walked alongside Lincoln, in companionable, if embarrassed silence.
"Okay!" She shouted at last, not being able to take it any longer. "Apparently movies don't just start when you show up! But how was I supposed to know that when that's exactly how things work in movies? Movies have apparently been lying to me my entire life! I feel so betrayed." She started in surprise as she felt a gentle warmth on her shoulder. A glance to her side revealed that it was Lincoln hand. Disappointingly, he'd landed on her shirt this time. She'd have to alter her wardrobe, 4 millimeters just wasn't cutting it.
"it's fine, Sid." He said, giving her a gentle pat, and for a moment, Sid briefly considered the merits of swooning. Would he catch her? If she fainted, would he try to revive her? She swallowed, suddenly. How strange, she wasn't the type to drool, normally...
"We'll just go again." Lincoln continued, giving her a reassuring squeeze.
"A-again?" Sid asked, trying to keep her voice even.
"Sure." Lincoln nodded. "I mean, I'm here for a few more days. We can just try again tomorrow or something"—" Sid gasped, equal parts surprised and delighted.
"—and then maybe Ronnie can join us." Instantly deflating Sid's good cheer. Right, of course he was going to want Ronnie along. And under normal circumstances, Sid would be totally okay with them. The three of them going to the movies, together, as a threesome, sounded like it'd be a lot of fun. But on the other hand...
"Ronnie gets really busy at night!" She blurted out, somewhat less tactfully then she'd intended to. "And there's a lot of stuff she wants to do during the day! Like...uh, the zoo! And the skate park! And not watching movies!" Nice and subtle.
"Oh." Lincoln blinked in surprise. "Alright then. Well, I really did want to see this movie..."
Sid leaned forward in anticipation...
"So..." Lincoln trailed off, suddenly looking embarrassed. "Look, I know this is kinda sudden, but I had a lot of fun tonight. So..."
Sid leaned forward a little more. "Say it!" She silently urged him, he was so close...
"You think you'd want to go to the movies with me again?" He asked. "Before I leave, and also early enough that we can actually see the movie, of course."
"I accept!" Sid shrieked, leaping onto the surprised boy and inadvertently shoving him onto the ground. So elated was she, that she didn't properly process the invitation until they had nearly hit the ground.
"Oh...he just asked me to...huh" She thought, to herself as she rode Lincoln's skinny frail body to the ground.
"Ghack!" Lincoln wheezed as the air was pushed from his lungs.
"Well, it's a start, I guess." Sid concluded, only just now realizing the position they were in. Her, straddling Lincoln's surprisingly toned body. Him, gazing up at her with what were clearly bedroom eyes. Wheezing, as if he could barely contain his desire for her.
"I mean..." She mused, licking her lips. "It's okay if he wants it...right? The poor guy looks like he's suffering. And I do like helping people..."
"S-Sid?" Lincoln gasped, but by that point she'd already convinced herself, and before he could say anything more, her lips were upon his.
"Wow. This is way better with a guy." Sid thought to herself, inadvertently letting out a little squeal of delight as her tongue met Lincoln's, genuinely uncertain as to who initiated that little tête-à-tête but pleased all the same as the tiny muscles danced with one another. Little tendrils of pleasure working their way up her body as she writhed against Lincoln, pressing him harder against the ground.
"And that's definitely new!" The tiny part of her brain that wasn't currently managing her grip on the pale haired boy mused, as a new sensation began to reverberate through her. It was an entirely distinct trill of pleasure, independent from the one she got when Lincoln deftly brushed aside a few stray hairs that had briefly come between them, of from when she'd grabbed his hand and forced it against her budding breast. This was a whole other thing. It felt like...electricity, coursing through her. And it was growing—
Sid's train of thought was abruptly cut off as she sensation grew to a climax, and her world exploded into crackling blue energy...
Lincoln. Seven intoned. I'm very disappointed in you.
"Me too, buddy." Lincoln mumbled, still dazed, his vision swimming as he tried to focus on the large blurry shape now looming high above him.
I can't decide what's more infuriating. The alien device continued. That you lost control again. That you apparently saw fit to modify the costume template...because I can't see any tactical advantage in exposing one's shoulders like that—
"Wait, I did what now?" Lincoln asked, struggling to sit up.
—Or that you're so creatively bankrupt that you couldn't think of another color! Seven snarled, showing more emotion than Lincoln had ever seen from the machine. We already have a Gigant Blue! Having a second one is needlessly confusing!
"I...I don't..." Lincoln trailed off as he noticed that the sky was getting considerably darker. Fortunately, Lincoln's long honed instincts had kicked in, and he was already flinging himself to safety.
"THIS IS SO COOL!" A distressingly familiar voice thundered, as an enormous white boot slammed down onto the pavement, entirely too close to where he had just been sitting only moments earlier.
"Tell you what, buddy." Lincoln muttered, as he rose unsteadily to his feet. "How about we work on fixing this little problem, and then you can go back to yelling at me?
I'm just saying, there are so many other colors you could have used!