Chapter 3 - Sakura's Resolve

After the disastrous meeting with Naruto, Sakura worked her afternoon shift like a robot. She attended to patients and fulfilled her duties, but in her spare moments she was rehashing her conversation with Naruto and rehearsing her next one. By the time her shift ended she'd found the right words to explain everything to him. Sure of herself, Sakura burst through the doors into the cool Konoha night and set off for his apartment.

But Naruto wasn't there. Sakura hung around for a little while until the fatigue of the workday caught up with her. Then she quietly headed home.

The next morning, she tried again but got no answer.

At lunch, she dropped into Ichiraku's. But old man Teuchi said he hadn't been by. Sakura stifled her disappointment, instead saying she'd hoped to treat him to ramen. Teuchi smiled broadly. "I'll be sure to tell him your looking for him!"

Three days later, she still hadn't seen him.

"Tsunade-sama," Sakura said as she dropped the weekly hospital reports in the basket on her desk. "Um…by any chance, do you know if Naruto is out on a mission" She felt a little foolish asking about her own teammate, but desperation won out.

Tsunade leveled her penetrating gaze at Sakura. "I would think you would know that above all people."

"Yes, well…. I've been looking for him, but I can't seem to find him."

"Ahh," Tsunade said, clasping her fingers together. "Problems already? Let me guess, this has something to do with your other teammate." Her red lips curved into a knowing smile.

Sakura's cheeks went pink. "It's not like that at all," she stammered. "Sasuke and I have been spending time together, talking, but nothing more. He's going through a lot right now and I wanted to explain that to Naruto. But now I think he's mad about it."

"Yes, well, that does explain some of it then."

"Explain what?"

"Why Naruto asked me for a mission out of the blue—"

"He did?! And you gave it to him?!"

"Of course! He wanted to go, and I know better than to let him stand around stewing! Best to let him work off his stress."

Sakura slapped her hand to her forehead. She knew his stress wasn't the type that needed to be worked off. He needed explanations.

"Anything you want to share, Sakura?"

"Uh, no Tsunade-sama. Probably best not to say anything…yet. I don't want to cause any more misunderstandings."

"Ah. Then would it help if I told you I'd already spoken to Sasuke about his request to leave active service?"

Sakura's eyes went wide. "Oh! You have? I didn't even know if it was possible. And Naruto was so upset when Sasuke refused to spar with him." She shook her head. "It was just a mess."

"So you support Sasuke in his bid to 'retire' as a shinobi?"

"Of course! I'd support him in anything he wanted to do."

Tsunade looked at her sharply. "I see." She straightened a stack of papers on her desk that didn't need straightening. When she spoke again her attitude was crisp. "And you would 'support' him no matter what his next assigned duty might be?"

"Yes, of course," Sakura said with confusion. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Even if he left the village?"

Sakura frowned. "Being a team goes beyond mission assignments. I would do whatever was required to support him, as a friend and because it's my duty," she said resolutely. "And so would Naruto."

Tsunade looked at her skeptically. Sakura frowned, feeling like she hadn't said the right thing.

"I think" Sakura haltingly clarified, "Naruto's misunderstood everything. Sasuke isn't leaving us, but he can't go on with his life as it was before. I know Naruto's hurt, but if I could only explain it to him—"

"And you could do this because you're so close to Sasuke now?" Tsunade quipped dryly.

"No," Sakura said with a small smile, finally understanding. Tsunade was especially protective of Naruto, above all others. "I could explain it because I know Naruto so well. He was mad and wouldn't listen. And by the time I got off shift, I guess he was already out of the village." Sakura shook her head at the ridiculousness of it all. "Baka," she laughed.

The tightness in Tsunade's expression softened. She pulled the hospital report from the basket, letting it unfurl in front of her. "He'll be back tomorrow night. It was only a quick delivery across the territories." Tsunade's eyes flashed at Sakura over the top of the scroll. The corners crinkled as if she were hiding a smile. "Just far enough to get him out of my hair for a few days."

Sakura grinned. "Thank you Tsunade-sama."

Sakura dashed up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She had gotten off late from her hospital shift, but it didn't matter. After two weeks of near misses, she didn't mind being late. Perhaps this time she'd catch him.

No matter where or when she thought she'd find Naruto, no matter how hard she tried, she missed him. It was like he didn't want to be found.

She jogged down the open corridor to his doorway. It was so nice to be out of the hospital and finally doing something that she'd run all the way there. Sakura felt like she'd spent the day tapping her foot or chewing her lip, wishing the arms on the clock would move faster so she could get exactly to this spot.

Sakura smiled up at the peeling wood of the old door and wiped the sweat-tipped bangs from her forehead.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Naruto? Are you home?"

Thud, thud, thud.

"Narutoooo? Tsunade-sama said you got back from your mission tonight! Are you there?"

Up on her toes, Sakura stretched her arm over her head and dragged her fingers down the dusty door frame. The spare keys clinked when she bumped them.

She tried the first one, which didn't budge, then the second. It fit neatly into the slot. But she paused.

"Naruto," she said loudly to the closed door. "If you're there, I'm coming in. So if you don't want me to, tell me to stop now…."

When she got no response, she twisted the key. It stuck a little like it always did, but it finally snicked open. She pushed the door back.

Naruto stood with his back to the door, looking out the big picture window on the other side of his sparsely furnished living room. Blue light clung to his edges. The rest of his body was cast in black.

Sakura heaved a sigh, so glad to finally lay eyes on him. A little laugh bubbled up. "Finally…."

Naruto didn't turn. "So Tsunade-sama told you I was back?" His shoulders bounced once in a noiseless snicker.

"Yeah," Sakura breathed, more relieved than ever to hear him teasing her. "I've been trying to catch up with you for weeks." She closed the door behind her.

"Eh, sorry," he muttered, not sounding very sorry.

She dropped the keys on the table and went to stand beside him, looking out at the view of Konoha. The mesh of roads, wires and overlapping rooflines tumbled over each other like toys spilled from a toy box. There were areas of Konoha that were neat and orderly, houses marching in tidy little rows, but Naruto's apartment was not in one of them. That probably suited him just fine, Sakura thought with a secret smile and glanced sideways at him.

Naruto seemed very fixed on some point in the streets in front of them, his brows knit together in thought.

She bit her lip. There was something very appealing about Naruto when he was thoughtful. She didn't know if it was because he usually hid the depth of his feelings and understanding under the jokes and bravado. Or if it was because after pondering a situation, he would then turn to her — and only her — with clear eyes and say the one thing everyone else had been grasping for. And she would be left staring at him, amazed, seeing him anew.

He huffed suddenly, and a circle of steam appeared on the window. Sakura's smile deepened.

Unable to resist, she reached up to tousle his hair. "Watcha thinking about—"

But in one fluid motion Naruto blocked her hand with his forearm and ducked away from her. He folded his arms over his chest and returned to gazing stonily out the window, leaving a larger gap between them.

Sakura slowly lowered her hand, trying not to feel hurt by the slight. She turned back to the view of Konoha, not seeing it at all.

It wasn't hard to guess what was on his mind now.

All her speeches and well-rehearsed scenarios — they would hang out like always, maybe get dinner, then when he was comfortable she would work around to the issue of Sasuke — flew out the window.

Maybe she should just be direct, tell him exactly why she came. Improvise, like he always did. Sakura flattened her hands against her sides, strengthening her resolve.

"Sasuke was worried…worried about you, more than anything else. He was worried about how you'd take it." She watched his face, hoping that hearing about his friend's concern might break the ice.

"Yeah, you two decided to end Team 7 and didn't bother to tell me." Naruto laughed, but it was tight and mirthless. "He was real worried about me, wasn't he?"

Sakura's lips pressed into a thin line. Naruto's anger had not diminished one bit. It had just simmered, waiting. She watched him turn from the window and stalk to the table, pocketing his spare keys. He wasn't just mad, he was furious.

"Sasuke wanted to talk to you," she said, "he just didn't know how."

"But he sure knows how to talk to you," Naruto ground out. He slowly paced the room like a caged animal.

"Because I wasn't his sparring partner! I wasn't his best friend!" Naruto stopped at that, and Sakura thought she might have gotten through. "He doesn't know what he's doing, and he doesn't want to hurt you. But we can't make him be a shinobi if he doesn't want to."

Naruto shuttered his face and returned to pacing. "If he pulls out, Team 7 is officially done. Over. Finished. Is that what you want?"

"No! Of course not, but—"

"Then why are you taking his side? Why are you giving up on our team?! After everything…everything we've done together. I can't believe you would let it all go, just because he's back."

"Naruto it's not like that! I'm not taking sides! I know Team 7 wouldn't be the same, but it wouldn't be—"

"No. It would be over. If we had our final member back and he left, willingly, then it would be over. Permanently. They've already reassigned Sai. And if Sasuke goes then Team 7 will be a man short. And they won't fill it!" He stalked back to the window and stood rigidly.

"Then let them," she said in exasperation to his back. "I'm not going to keep Sasuke where he doesn't want to be. And the team is just a name. What's important is that we're together."

"Yeah, you and him maybe," Naruto grumbled. "But not us, we're not a team."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to remember all those little explanations that had made such good sense just days before.

Sasuke's return had been hard on both of them. Where Naruto had withdrawn, Sakura had been forced to step forward and try to rebuild their old connection to their old teammate. But she had learned more about Sasuke than she ever had as a child, when her crush and his drive for revenge had eclipsed any chance for real friendship.

"People change, Naruto." She stepped forward, moving to put her hand on his shoulder but remembered his refusal of her touch and stopped herself. "And even though it's hard, it can be good too. Unexpected things can come out of it." She smiled, curling her hair behind her ears.

He turned to listen to her, his face a mask of calm. Sakura held his gaze, knowing he needed more of an explanation. She had never known him to give in to anything without a fight.

"Sasuke is a different person than when we were kids. And I've come to see him in a different light than I did before. I wish you'd open up to him a little bit. He's different. Better." Naruto rolled his eyes and turned back to the window.

"It was awful after he left. I know. But now that he's returned, we can't expect everything to be exactly the same as it was before. And I wouldn't want it to be!" She paused, then added softly, "It's funny, I didn't appreciate what I had…until I had to give him up. I realize now what was right in front of me, all along—"

Naruto growled subtly, like he didn't want to hear it. Sakura shut her mouth. Doubt crept in with the stinging memory of Naruto in the snow, his brilliant blue eyes going ice cold, freezing her out.

She smoothed her skirt, pushing the memory from her mind. "Anyway, my point is that people change, and but sometimes it can bring really good things into our lives. If we let it."

Naruto didn't move. Arms folded, feet spread to a near fighting stance, he looked anchored to the floor. She wished she could get him to relax.

"And listen, I really don't think Tsunade wouldn't disband Team 7, just because of Sasuke. I've never heard of teams getting disbanded. So don't worry about that. We'll still be—"

"Oh, you really don't think so?" Naruto shot over his shoulder, sounding sarcastic, which was not like him.

He turned, and there was no warmth in his face. Instead his eyes were dark and accusing. He looked like a hardened shinobi, ready to pounce.

"So that's it then, Sakura? People change," he said, slow and dangerous.

"Yeah, people change," she said, watching him with growing alarm. She had that sinking feeling that no matter what she said, it wasn't going to be the right thing. She grasped again for a better explanation. "I'm different than I was when we were kids, I see things differently and appreciate things a lot more than I ever thought I would, and if I hadn't gone through the bad times I never would have appreciated the good. And Sasuke-kun's the same—"

She hadn't meant to say it. The old childhood nickname It just slipped out in her rambling. But it had an instant impact on Naruto, igniting him.

"I don't change Sakura-chan." His voice went gravelly with anger. He thudded his finger to his chest. "I'm still here, and I still want the same things. I haven't changed."

"Naruto, that's not what I meant, I—"

"It's the whole reason I was able to bring Sasuke's back, wasn't it? Because I didn't give up! So, no I don't see how I'm supposed to accept that 'people change' and just be happy about losing everything I've ever wanted!"

"Naruto, I—"

"Save it, Sakura. I get it. Things will never be the same. You two have made up your minds. No more Team 7. You two should be happy together." He stormed past her. "I don't want to hear anymore."

"Naruto, you don't understand! Please don't—" he threw the door open and left, "go…."

Sakura stared at the open door feeling hopeless. How had she gotten it so wrong?

The sounds of running children and laughter filtered in through the doorway. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. There was no sense in following him, he was long gone, and with his abilities he could stay hidden as long as he wanted. She'd come back tomorrow and try to explain again. She wouldn't give up.

Sakura's gaze drifted to the empty table. He'd taken the spare keys with him. Sighing, she pulled the door quietly closed behind her, leaving it unlocked.

The next evening she dropped by again. She knocked, but no one came.

She swept her fingers over the door frame, but there was no clink of spare keys. Frowning, she dropped back on her heels and tried the handle. It twisted slowly until it met resistance. Locked.

Sakura blew out a breath and touched her forehead to the door. Well, at least he'd come home last night. That was a good sign.

Staring at the door, inspiration struck her. Sakura dug a pink notepad out of her hip pack and scribbled a note:

Naruto, I'm sorry about last night. Please come find me when you get in. We'll go get some ramen and I'll explain everything. My treat! ~Sakura

She paused, pen over paper, then grinned and added "-chan" to the end of her name.

She didn't miss that in his anger he dropped the familiar epithet from her name. And she didn't quite like the way that sounded.

"There," she said to herself. "Just right." She capped her pen and wedged the pink paper in the door jamb. Now, all that was left to do was wait.

Author's Notes

Thanks so much for the reviews, faves, alerts. Glad you're enjoying it! This story is a "what if" Naruto got what he wanted and Sasuke came back. I think Naruto would soon realize he liked the idea of it, but not the reality. And for Sakura, it's a "what if" they returned after her confession but nothing was resolved. Sakura likes Naruto, but Naruto didn't accept it. How would she move on?

This story is different from VitW in that it's shorter and less descriptive, but the up side is that I'll be updating every Friday! So…hurrah for that! (But don't worry, it won't take away from the other stories — updates for Voice in the Wind and Single Step are coming very soon! ;) ) Please read and review!