4 - Growing Pains

Naruto pulled the paper out of the door without reading it and let it fall, face down, onto the table. It was a nice gesture, but he had other things to worry about right now. Growing up, he had often told himself this often when he felt low or lonely or like something was missing from his life. Something big.

Shooting an angry glance at the pink note, he added "people change" to his internal dialogue as a ruthless reminder of why he felt so bad. And why he needed to move on.

He dropped his rucksack on the table, right on top of the note, then pulled out his next mission scroll and flung himself into the chair to read it.

Team 8 again. He skimmed the details. Seemed easy enough. And he got along well with them. Wasn't exactly the same, but….

He sat back in the chair and stared unseeing across the quiet room.

Without effort, his mind slipped down the familiar tracks it had taken over the last few weeks. He couldn't help compare other teams to his own, other solo missions to how different it would have been with his own team…with them.

In fact, he found himself thinking about it so much he was thoroughly sick of it. Sick of wondering what Sakura and Sasuke were doing, sick of thinking of them at noon, picturing them eating lunch together.

The thought of them together drove him to activity. Naruto rooted around in his bag for a pencil, even as his mind drifted again.

He knew it was inevitable. They clearly loved each other. And he should be happy for them.

But…he just couldn't bring himself to be.

And he hated himself for feeling that way. These were the people he loved most in the world.

Secretly he wondered if they thought about him as much as he did about them. Naruto even watched for changes in Sasuke's behavior on the rare times he caught a glimpse of him in Konoha's streets. He had wondered darkly if his absence would push Sasuke to seek him out. And he steered clear of Sakura completely. Not that she would notice, he thought unkindly. People change, after all.

Naruto dashed off his name at the bottom of the scroll, accepting the mission.

And he was so tired of thinking of Team 7, of Sasuke, and of her…especially of her…and the things she'd said and the convenient excuses and that she could just forget about their team so easily and forget about him…that he had to stop. He needed a break.

He shoved the scroll and pencil back in the bag, deciding that his apartment was just too quiet, too boring, too "the same." He needed to get out. He needed some new activities in his life.

With renewed resolve, Naruto hoisted up his backpack and headed out the door. He'd get something to eat then drop off the scroll. And while he was there, he'd ask Tsunade to load him up with more missions.

A gust of air from the closing door rippled the edge of the note where it still lay still, face down, on the table.

Tsunade arched a brow at Naruto, not trusting his careless air. "More assignments with Team 8? Is everything alright Naruto?"

"Yup, everything is just fine," he said firmly, even bouncing on his heels once as if to prove it.

Tsunade, however, did not look convinced.

She knew what was happening within their team. With Sasuke back, the dynamics were sure to shift. But Sakura was certainly spending a lot more time with Sasuke…. Naruto had to see it too….

She laid the scroll down on the desk and narrowed her eyes. "Naruto, I want your opinion on something—"

"Sure," he said with an overly bright smile.

"I'm planning some solo missions for Sasuke," Naruto's smile fell, "of a more diplomatic nature. Do you think he would be open to them?"

Naruto shrugged and jammed his hands in pockets. But his eyes slid away.

"Are you okay with that?"

"Doesn't matter what I think, does it," he said, sounding as if mattered very much. "We're not much of a unit these days anyway."

Tsunade clasped her hands in front of her. "Yes, Sasuke is very much a pacifist now—"

Naruto let out a hollow laugh. "Another thing we don't have in common anymore." He raked a hand through his hair, making it stick out at all ends. "At least they have each other," he muttered bitterly.

Tsunade peered at him, seeing the fine lines of sadness etched into his face, the true pain that smiles or bluster couldn't hide. "So that's what this is about then? Sakura's with him?" She leaned back in her chair. "I have to admit that I'm surprised. Especially after everything that's happened between you two—"

"I don't know," he said, an almost boyish whine creeping into his voice. "She's never said so. But she's with him all the time. So how could she not be?" He fisted the hair at his temple. "I should have known. I feel like such an idiot."

Tsunade didn't stop him. She wouldn't wipe his pain away with a glib, "It'll be fine." Instead, she watched him fling his hands down and walk to the window where he stood, looking out in pained silence.

Tsunade let him. He needed time to figure this out.

After several minutes, he cleared he throat and began again. "I thought that bringing Sasuke back would fix everything. We'd be like a family again. But it's not like that at all." He shoved his hands back into his pockets, letting his arms slump. "Our team is finished," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "And they don't even care."

Tsunade sighed deeply. Now she knew how to proceed. "Naruto, these things, these changes in life are hard…and even harder for shinobis. Each group goes through this. Some tension or another. Like growing pains."

She was far from maternal, but she'd always had a soft spot for Naruto. He tried so hard in everything…but sometimes your best effort just wasn't enough. She'd lived through that with her own team.

"It seems to me that you three have outgrown the need for a team for the moment," she said firmly. "You each have your own lives and your own goals. Maybe the time is right to step away from a team for a little while, and find out what's important to you and which direction you want to grow."

Naruto glanced back over his shoulder, clearly skeptical. Tsunade's eyes were soft with sympathy. Naruto shrugged half-heartedly and mumbled, "Yeah, I guess," and she was satisfied that he was at least willing to thinking about it.

Tsunade rolled back the assignment scroll. "I have some missions coming up that require a fourth, and I was thinking of send an anbu, but you would do just as well. They might require you to work with some new shinobis, pick up a few new jutsus or travel a bit more than you're used to. Is that acceptable?"

Naruto turned back to the room, his face smoothing with the prospect of new activities, just as Tsunade hoped it would. He nodded and took a deep, cleansing breath.

"Don't worry about Sakura and Sasuke. It will work itself out," Tsunade added bracingly.

He blew out his breath. "Thanks Baa-chan. I think you're right. A change might be exactly what I need."

Author's Notes:

I know it's short but don't worry, it's the shortest chapter of the rest are between 3-5,000 words. This chapter is about Naruto's pain — next chapter flips back to Sakura. Get ready for more angst! :) Thank sooooo much for all the reviews, faves and alerts! Please read and review!