Chapter 6 - On Her Own

Days turned to weeks, but Sakura kept her vow. She did not leave anymore notes at Naruto's apartment and she did not seek him out. And she tried her hardest not to look at Tsunade's assignment scroll when it was open on her desk. Sakura was afraid the Naruto's name would jump right out at her.

If Tsunade thought it was strange that Sakura sometimes stared very hard at the ceiling, then she didn't mention it.

Sakura told herself than when she saw him again — which, she knew, was inevitable — she would act as if nothing had happened. They would just move on. She didn't think too much about this plan though, because she bleakly assumed it might be months before she laid eyes on him again.

She was wrong.

Not three weeks after she'd slipped her last note under Naruto's door, Naruto himself walked into Tsunade's office.

Sakura was just finishing up her hospital report for the week when he strode through the open door, never bothering to knock or announce himself like anyone else would.

At Tsunade smirk, Sakura looked back over her shoulder and locked eyes with a stunned Naruto. Time seemed to freeze for both of them.

Sakura took in his appearance. She knew him so well she nearly felt the roughness of his sleeve and the tangles of his hair as her eyes traveled over him. She was so glad to finally see him, even after everything. Her look of surprise melted into a tentative smile….

But Naruto's shock did not soften into a welcome. Instead he cut his eyes away and fidgeted with the scroll in his hand. He looked uncomfortable, like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

Sakura's smile froze on her face.

The rest of Team 8 ambled in behind him. By their packs and amount of road dust, they had just returned from a mission.

Hinata, Kiba and Shino made their greetings to Tsunade and Sakura. Even Akamaru whined a "hello."

Sakura's forced her lips to hold the brittle smile. Any doubts she had that Naruto had been avoiding her were washed away.

Not able to escape it now, Naruto's gaze skimmed over her, eyes never meeting hers. He muttered a casual "Hey" before turning his full attention to Tsunade.

"We brought back the mission scroll as soon as we came in, just like you wanted." He stepped forward to hand the scroll to Tsunade, and Sakura wished she didn't notice that he stepped wide around her.

In the past, he would have jostled into her, bumping her shoulder or pretending to fall into her. But now he kept his distance. Since no else seemed to see it, she pretended she didn't either.

Tsunade scanned the scroll, and Naruto swiveled to return to his group. But Tsunade stopped him with a question just as he came even with Sakura.

"Any trouble," she said over the edge of the scroll.

He pivoted, jammed his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. "Nope! None at all!" There was a grin in his voice, but Sakura thought it sounded strained. "Well, if that's all Baa-chan, we'll just head out…."

Naruto started to back away again, when Tsunade's spoke, authority clear in her voice.

"Not so fast, Naruto. I'm glad I to finally get the two of you together in the same room." Sakura looked distinctly uncomfortable at the joke. And by the heavy silence beside her, she guessed Naruto felt the same. Tsunade didn't notice.

"I have a mission to the Sand coming up, specifically to escort their medic-nins back here for training. Sakura, I've already spoken to you about teaching them when they arrive. But they will require an escort from the Sand to the Leaf as well. It's a low-level mission, only for two. Sakura, I naturally thought of you as it will give you a jumpstart on meeting the team you'll be teaching. And Naruto" she turned her eyes to him, "I thought you might like a chance to travel to the Sand again…."

Naruto didn't answer. But Sakura knew this was as good a chance as any to mend their friendship. An easy mission to familiar territory would be just the thing they needed to help them get back to normal.

"Of course," Sakura piped up immediately, sure of herself, "it would be fun. Like old times!" She turned to flash her friendliest smile at Naruto, but his answer was written in the tight lines of his face before he'd spoken a word.

Naruto rubbed a hand over his neck. "Nah, thanks Baa-chan. I'm kind of covered up right now, what with helping out Team 8 and uh…you know solo missions and stuff."

Sakura's cheeks burned. She turned quickly, focusing on a spot on the wall behind Tsunade, struggling to something to say to smooth over this new rejection. "It's okay," she uttered quietly. "It's— It's no big deal."

Tsunade slanted a dry look at Naruto. "And is there a reason why you—"

"Oh no reason," he said, overly bright. "I just feel like I'm finally coming into my own. I'm enjoying branching out, like you said, and, you know, doing my own things."

Tsunade made a "tch" sound at having her reasoning thrown back at her.

Naruto turned his gaze on Sakura, smiling finally, but it held no warmth. She didn't look back.

"Sakura told me a while back that people change." He drew out the words, letting them cut deep. "I didn't get it then. But now I think I'm starting to understand."

Sakura's lips parted with a puff of breath. His words stung like a slap.

"See ya 'round, Sakura," Naruto said quietly then retreated to his group without another glance, leaving Sakura staring dumbfounded into space.

She gulped back the tears that stung her eyes, but she wouldn't cry, she told herself. She wouldn't make herself more of a fool than she already had.

Now, Tsunade knew something was wrong.

"Fine then," she snapped, "dismissed," then added, "Sakura, I need a word with you."

Grateful tears welled in Sakura's eyes, finally spilling over in spite of her inner struggle to keep them contained. She didn't move to wipe them. She kept her eyes focused on the wall while she heard the slow shuffling steps leave the room.

Tsunade watched her with concern. The sounds from the door tapered off, but Tsunade hadn't moved. Sakura sensed they still weren't alone—

"Naruto, close the door please," Tsunade said firmly, eyes never leaving Sakura's face.

After a long moment, the door slid closed.

Sakura dropped her head and sucked in a ragged breath that dissolved into a sob. Deeply embarrassed, she wiped her face, but the tears kept coming.

"Tsunade-sama, I'm okay, I just need a moment to…to…." Sakura's voice quavered with another wave of emotion.

"Sakura, I'm sorry. I never would have put you on the spot like that." Sakura looked up to see Tsunade's head tipped with real sympathy, not pity. "I thought there might have been a rift between you three, but I didn't think…."

Sakura nodded her head miserably. "I've tried to reach out to him. I've tried to give him space." She wiped the tears with the back of her hand. "A mission like that would probably have helped. But he just doesn't want to—" Her throat tightened at the memory.

"Well boys can be strange creatures." Tsunade came around to Sakura's side and leaned back on the edge of the desk. "I think bringing Sasuke back was not as easy as he let on. He had built up that friendship so much, that I think it's hard for him to see you two as a couple, and be left out—"

"Sasuke and I aren't a couple!"

"Oh." Tsunade frowned. "Really? I'm sorry, I assumed you were…and I believe Naruto thinks you are."

"Idiot." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Sasuke had a hard time adjusting. A very hard time. And since he decided to end his life as a shinobi, he's had a hard time being around Naruto."

Tsunade nodded but didn't interrupt.

Sakura dried her cheeks. "Naruto wants to spar and talk weapons and training. And Sasuke wants nothing to do with that. I realized that if one of us didn't catch him, he was going to fall through the cracks. And since Naruto couldn't, or wouldn't, I did."

Sakura paused, gaze drifting with her train of thought. "But I don't think of Sasuke like that. And I don't think I ever did. Not love." She looked at her shoes. "Real love, I mean."

Tsunade studied her in silence for a moment. "So then what did he mean about 'people change?'"

Sakura gave a dispirited laugh. Her eyes shined with new tears. "I told him that. I was trying to explain to him that people changed. That I had changed. That I saw Sasuke from a new perspective. Not affection, not hate. But just as someone who was really lost." Her voice dropped. "And that…well, I see Naruto differently too now because of all this…." Sakura's eyes slid away, embarrassed. "That's what I meant by 'people change.'"

Tsunade nodded sagely. "I see. I think maybe Sasuke's not the only one having a hard time adjusting."

Sakura thought maybe they all were. She toyed with the idea of confessing to Tsunade what had happened in the snow. Her train wreck of a confession when she had foolishly believed Naruto loved her. But now the memory was just another rejection from him. Sakura couldn't bring herself to admit that she'd been so wrong. Not after today.

She always thought Sasuke was the mystery, and that she had Naruto completely figured out. But it seemed she didn't know Naruto at all either. She didn't know what to do….

Tsunade sighed. "I wish I had known, I never would have put you on the spot. But I'll tell you the same thing I told both of them: There is never a replacement for your first team, but sometimes you outgrow it. You stop working well together. And you end up pulling in different directions."

If it was supposed to make Sakura feel better, it wasn't working. She hung her head, looking downright depressed.

Tsunade put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about them. Go in your own direction." She smiled into Sakura's face. "Just give it some time. It will work itself out."

Sakura didn't feel about that advice, but maybe Tsunade was right. Maybe it was time to stand on her own. After all, Naruto had made it clear how he felt about her. And Sasuke had certainly struck off on his own path without feeling guilty. Then why couldn't she?

"Maybe you're right."

Tsunade nodded and swept back around the desk. "There was an additional request made by Sand team, but I didn't bring it up because I thought…. Well, it doesn't matter what I thought." Tsunade unrolled a scroll. "They left an open invitation for you to come early so you could learn some of their techniques."

Sakura tipped her head, considering it.

Tsunade continued. "It would be a much longer time commitment of course. But you'll get to learn how they heal there before coming back here. It will be a much more even trade." Tsunade said. "Three weeks with them in the Sand learning their techniques, then three weeks here where you will teach them." A bemused smile curved her lips. "You'll be learning things that even I don't know!"

Tsunade knew the thought of learning something new, something no one else did, was a big temptation. She knew her well.

"It'll be interesting, at least." Sakura shrugged, considering the prospect. "Maybe even fun," she added. But the more she thought about it, the better she felt, until she was certain this was the path for her. Sakura smiled past the tracks of her tears. "I'll do it," she said firmly.

Author's Notes

Thanks for all the reviews, faves and alerts! Glad you're still enjoying it, even though it's angsty, lol! Also, updated the summary to hopefully give people a better handle on the story. There's no real bad guy or good guy here...but one character does have a little bit more maturing to do... I'll let you guess who that is...! ;) Read and review! And look for updates very soon for A Single Step and A Voice in the Wind! (If you think the angst is bad here, wait till the next chapter of VitW!)