1/15/2016- Hello readers this is AnglesListener. I'm only going to put these author notes here to let people know that I've updated the chapters. I will say right now that this wont be my only time updating chapters and I'm sorry to say that I don't do everything that the Fanfiction website requires you to do. I will say right now and In the begining of my story that I try to update every weekend whether it would be Saturday or Sunday.
Anyway this Chapter update is in the park scene with Naruto Uzumaki and Samantha Porter and some rewording.
1/16/2016- This chapter edit is for the scene Naruto talks about the academy with Samantha.
While I don't mind the summer heat too much I already know how dire my clothing situation is getting and figure that regardless of the resources my clothes had to be cleaned today.. My only problem is that I needed to have some soap.
So I enter my home hoping to god someone left a bar of soap within the bathroom. Of course I wasn't looking in my toilet room as they apparently felt it was necessary to separate the toilet from the bathroom. When I finish taking off my shoes I head into the hallway and open the door onto the right. I enter my bathroom and actually give it a good look this time around.
The actual bathing room had a white tiled floor and a big wooden square bathtub. The tub was located within the back left corner from where I stood and there was a wooden floor to its left; which had some wooden stairs attached to it. There was a facet that was attached to the wall on the left. The only thing missing from it was a sink.
Contrary to the belief this is actually a normal Japanese bathroom. I can actually remember some apartments didn't actually have bathing facilities; which is where the invention of the bathhouse came in. As far as I know anyway.
The first place I decide to look was over by the bath tub. Which was a lot taller than any bathtub I've seen in my life. To be honest it looked more like a hot tub. I climb its steps and take a look within. The tub was white on the inside and had a deep middle. and there was at least two white enclaves where soap could lie. Thankfully there was one light blue bar of soap sitting in the left corner of the tub that was farther from me.
" Oh thank god!" As I climbed in the tube I thank him feverishly under my breath. I take the soap bar in my hand and hold it up in a triumphant tirade and look to the door.
" Look what I got! Soap!" I smile at the hallucination of Sakura there. Truth be told I never really see anything physically there. The thought of her existence here and by my side was what kept me going even before I came here. And I knew very well what would happen should it all go wrong.
Still, I smiled at this hallucination of Sakura Haruno as I heard her call me out of the tub and beckon me with a hand motion. I couldn't help my goofy grin. I began to hear words from her; but I found myself half ignoring her words as I climbed out the tub. Climbing out of the tub turns out to be surprisingly easy feat.
" With this I can clean these cloths." I hear within my mind. 'Are you listening?' I looked into the general direction of the hallucinations presence and ask.
" I'm sorry what did you say?" I'm looking at the toilet room and living rooms direction for the moment I asked my question; but then looked to the right at the kitchen and hear her ask.
' I said how are you going to clean those clothes?' I look at my cloths and back at the kitchen sink.
" Well I'm going to use the kitchen sink to wash my clothing and my soap." I walk to the kitchen and proceeded to take my top off.
My logic is to get my undergarments cleaned first and just before I take off my bra I remember that there is a window in the kitchen and I can't help but reprimand myself.
" You dumb ass! There's something called a bathroom! Moron!" And so I walk back to the bathroom and take off my undergarments. Of course I put my jeans and my t-shirt back on myself since I didn't really want to streak around the house.
So I take my undergarments and place them within my kitchen sink and begin the task of washing my clothing by turning on the hot water. I begin to wash my underwear under the water despite it being cold. I take the soap and begin to rub it on the wet garment. I'm not overly pleased with the state of my underwear as the smell is unpleasant. Of course it wouldn't be so bad if I had more clothing and I had toilet paper.
As I wash my clothing I became numb within my mind. I had a relaxing time without the onslaught of the voices; which was a miracle in itself.
When I had finish scrubbing the articles of clothing I let them soak within the hot water and go into my living room. I look at the window and study the light that falls onto my floor.
Different ways of drying my clothing comes into my mind. I knew sunlight would dry my clothing easily; but I couldn't help pondering using my oven to dry off my clothing faster.
I thought that if I would use the oven I could get my clothes dried faster and would plausibly have dry cloths. Then again It would probably make my house smell bad and I really didn't know if I would like the results. So I dismissed the idea and came to the conclusion that I could just dry my clothes in the sunlight of the day.
Then comes a moment where I don't actually know what to do; but I was easily reminded of my hygiene predicament. So I took my soap from the kitchen and went within the bathing room.
I took to washing myself with the facet as it was the closest thing to a shower I would get to have. As I washed I had to fight the paranoia of being watched by my hallucinations. When I had rinsed off my body I had decided to run me a bath to see how different the tubs were from the American ones. There was a simple rubber plug sitting next to the tub so I actually could run a bath. I turn on the water and adjusted its temperature to be pleasantly hot water and not burning hot. I take that moment to attempt relax.
It feels pretty amazing too have my body fully covered by water as the tub I had at home didn't work as well. With this tub I kind of have to stand within the tub instead of lay down.
I find myself looking up at the ceiling and letting my thoughts wander; but it isn't long that my mind begins to be infested with paranoia once again. At this time I feel as if my male personalities and my hallucinations were staring at my body as I bathed. I do try my best to ignore this feeling as it isn't logical; but it isn't very long when I decide I had to leave the tub and return my cloths to my body.
And so with that feeling in mind I got out of the tub and proceed to put my pants and shirt back on. After that I go back to the kitchen and checked my undergarments.
The water filled the metal sink only half way and when I dip my hand into the water it feels lukewarm. I come to the conclusion that my cloths are done so I unplugged the water stopper and proceeded to rinse off my underwear and bra.
After I finished rinsing and wringing out the clothing I decided to set them in the sunlight on my living room floor. Once again I find myself unsure of what I can do.
"I don't have dishes so I can't do that. My clothes aren't dry so I can't leave." I look up at the ceiling and say.
" Damn, I don't know what to do lord!" Now I do not yell intentionally but even my voice is loud to my ears. I hear a muffled,
" Keep it down!" from my neighbors. I guess it was from the neighbors I've met so I reply apologetically
" Sorry!"
I came to the conclusion that I need to write for awhile since it isn't a loud activity. So I take my heavy bag and take out a yellow notebook I had for random writing and I take out a mechanical pencil to write with. I sit next to my bag and begin to contemplate what I wanted to write.
In all of my seven years of writing Fan Fiction has been my main desire of writing. In all of those years writing Fan Fictions about the anime Naruto had been what I did for most of it; but now that I was here all I could really think about is how strange this world is. Its people seem nice enough; but how much does one really know? 'Now that I think about it I really don't know anything about this world.' As much as I want to write a Fan Fiction I see that I want to write in my diary more. Or that's what my mind is inspired to write about. So with a small pout and small frown I put away my writing notebook and take out my diary.
The book itself was small and mostly a light green. On its front it had little white flowers placed around a series of words " The best medicine in the whole wide world is a mother's hug." and behind those brown words were red ribbons flowing. They were not actual ribbons; but they were printed on the book just the same. The book has a stretchy elastic band that kept the book shut and on top of the book a red ink pen sat.
Taking the pen off the top of the book I slip the brown elastic off the book and open to my pink ribbon marked page. Opening to a new page I uncap my pen and begin to write.
Dear Diary,
This has been a crazy experience let me tell you. Today I met the Hokage. THE FORTH Hokage. He said that he would help me out with being accepted within the academy and He actually believes me! At least, I think he does. He is a shinobi and they do lie. But I don't think calling him a liar would solve my crazy story.
God there's so much to say. I've been accepted into the Academy! Or at least I believe that. I don't know what I would do if they said no after all of that. God what am I going to do? People are going to know something is up if i know too much. Please don't tell me your actually writing this down.
Furrowing my brows I write a reply.
So what if I am?
The rest of my mind goes blank and I'm suddenly without any idea of what to write. But then my mind reminds me of a topic I've wanted to write.
God I wonder what Sakura is like here. Diary, you know as well as I do that she should exist here. Even when I still hallucinate about her. And I hear her voice, and I have a personality of her lurking around.
Suddenly I hear a knock on the door and I notice that the light in the room had became a sun setting red. ' Who the hell is that?' I stand up and pull my zipper up. I walk to the door and open it.
Little Naruto was standing at my door way kind of nervous and curious.
" Hey." I found myself feeling awkward and closed the door enough to hide my underwear drying within my house. I replied back awkwardly.
" Hey." He was wearing a white shirt with green shorts and the quirky little blue sandals every shinobi seemed to wear. He shifts around where he stands for a moment silently with expecting eyes. I couldn't help but ask.
" Is there something you need?" He mutters something under his breath.
" What?" He mutters a little louder and I still can't hear him.
" I can't hear you." He gives me this angry look and yells.
" I want you to play with me!" I raise my eyebrows with surprise. ' He wants to play with me?' I give a sigh, look away and run a hand through my hair nervously as I try to think of something to say. " Wow…" I return my gaze to him and ask him a question I'm pretty sure I know the answer too. " You don't have anyone else to play with do you?"
" Everybody else just acts like I'm not there or says mean things to me." I sigh once more and think of a solution to this predicament. For the moment of silence we had I came to the solution of giving him what he wants.
" I'll tell you what, when my laundry is done I'll play with you; how's that sound?" He crosses his arms and gives me an angry look.
" How do I know you're not lying to me to just get me away?" I furrow my brow once again and say.
" Why do you think I'm lying?" He gives me this frustrated look.
" Your just going to do the same thing everyone else does aren't you?" I don't like what I hear from him and decide to investigate with questions.
" What do the other people do?" Unlike an unwilling adult he answers me without holding back as far as I can tell.
" They tell me they'll play with me and they never do! Or they just act like I'm not there!"
" Gees, I'm sorry that's happened to you. Dude that really sucks." He gives me this confused look and asks me.
" What does 'dude' mean?" I realize then I slipped dialect and I quickly go to explain it.
" It's a way of saying guy or a way of referring to someone when talking to them."
" Oh." He looks to understand what I mean. I can't help but get the feeling he didn't believe me.
" You still don't believe me do you?" He folds his arms and shakes his head. I sigh once more and then say. " Well I am doing my laundry right now, see?" I open the door more and show him my undergarments that were drying. I turned my head away from him and look at my clothing.
Suddenly he is inside my house and looking closer at my underwear.
" Hey! I didn't invite you in here!" he leans over my underwear and I can't help but panic a little.
" Don't touch my underwear!" I say seriously as I walk over to him.
" Why does your underwear look kind of yellow there?" He points to the bottom of my underwear where a pad would go and I feel my embarrassment rise to my face. I didn't want him to see that! I can't help that my underwear does get stained whether its from blood or just being used for too long. That doesn't mean its any easier telling him about it. I never intended for him to see the state of my undergarments.
" I've had that underwear for a long time. Now could you please get away from my underwear?" he looks at me then back at the undergarment.
He quickly takes my underwear and I lean over quickly to grab him. Only I miss and he runs out the door.
" Hey everybody the old lady has old underwear!" I jog out of the apartment just in time to see Mitoko and a young man with long hair climbing the steps. Naruto runs up to Mitoko and yells,
" Look at the old lady's underwear!" I yell at him as he forces my garment into the woman's face.
" Naruto! Give that back right now!" Mitoko gives him an angry look then forces the lingerie out from her face. She looks at me with an angry insulted gaze.
" I told you to be wary of this boy did I not? And why does he have your undergarments?" I approach her and reply quickly.
" I'll explain later. Naruto, give me the underwear!" He runs off before I can catch him and he runs up to the man who had just finished climbing the stairs.
" Look at these!" I look to Naruto and watch as I walk up to the man look to me, to the underwear, back to me and then collapses backward right in front of Naruto!
Inspite of that event I have enough time to grab Naruto's arm. Anger is raging in my mind; but I still manage to temper it to a firm grip. " Naruto. Give me back my underwear now." He looks up me with a flash of fear or surpise. Then as if nothing had happened he turns away from me and holds out my under wear in front of me. As I quickly take it back from him he says.
" What do I need with your stupid underwear anyway.". My temper mostly fades away once the garment is back in my possession; though I'm still slightly angry. Despite this I decided to thank him none the less.
" Thank you." A flash of a surprise comes so quick to his face I'm unsure if I had even seen it. Looking to the unconscious man on the ground I lean over and snap my fingers a few times.
" Hey." I tap is cheeks a few times and he starts coming too.
" Hey, you ok?" He comes to and looks back at me and it looks like I've made process with him. Then the white skinned man rolls his eyes and passes out again right there. ' He's a lost cause.' I decide to just leave him there. He didn't seem to be in any danger
I turn back to Mitoko and she still has an angry scowl on her face. I walk towards her and she asks me. " Why was that boy with your undergarments? What are you even doing with that boy?"
" First of all, that boy is Naruto Uzumaki. Second of all, he stole my underwear from my apartment." I'm still mad because of what Naruto did and her attitude towards the boy is unsettling and upsetting to me.
" I told you to stay away from that boy!"
" I don't have to listen to you I hope you know that. And your attitude is starting to tick me off more then I already am so if you could just talk to me when I'm not fuming that will be good." I leave before she can reply and I hear Naruto call.
" Hey wait!" feeling exasperated I turn to Naruto and ask as tempered as I can while clenching my arms.
" What Naruto?" He has run up to me and he surprises me with a question.
" What's your name?" I take in a deep breath and I find myself calming down slightly
" My name is Samantha." I turn away from him and walk back to my apartment with a suddenly calm mind. ' I supose I forgive the brat.' I think as I walk. While I still feel at least annoyance with him I can't find it in my heart to be angry anymore.
" Hey wait!" I hear Naruto call and I look back at him as I was about to close my door. I give him an expectant gaze.
" Aren't you going to play with me?" I find myself annoyed and the anger return just as easily as it had left; despite this I keep a tempered tongue.
" I told you that I needed to do my laundry and that I would play with you after word correct?" he nods and I continue. " Because you decided to show my underwear off I decided I might not play with you after all." He gives me an offended look and says. " Hey that isn't fair!"
" It is after what you did. That was embarrassing and I have the right to be angry at you! If that is how you treat people then I can see why people don't want to play with you." Now I didn't say that to hurt him. I only said that to get him thinking. He crossed his arms and pouted right in front of me. I don't plan to relent easily even with his angry look.
" If you want people to play with you then maybe you shouldn't do those things." I go to shut the door and for a moment I thought I saw him about to cry and because of that my heart wouldn't let me close the door all the way. I sigh and open it back up again. He's gone from my door and about to go into is apartment.
" Naruto!" He looks back at me with teary eyes.
" I'll play with you if you do two things." He wipes his eyes and I go on telling him what he needed to hear. He closes his open door and starts walking back to me.
" One, you need to let me finish my laundry and two you need to stop pulling pranks like that ok?" He wipes his hands on his cloths and asks in a soft but hopeful voice. " Then will you play with me?"
" Yes then I will play with you." I open my door more and say. " Do you want in?" He gives a simple
" Yea." and he slips in. I shut the door not wanting to see Mitoko's reaction.
" There isn't any food so don't ask me for anything to eat. Theirs water but you'll have to drink straight from the facet." I turn to the living room and he leaves into the kitchen.
" Wait so there's no food here?"
" Nope. I wish there was." I hear him yell through the apartment
" Don't you have any money?" I walk to the kitchen and I see him checking the kitchen cupboards.
" I don't have any money." He looks at me for a moment and looks to regard me. Then returns to looking around.
" So what have you been eating?"
" Except for the one meal I got from Miss Mitoko I haven't eaten at all." He looks back at me with surprise.
" Don't you have a job or something?" I find no harm in telling him my plans.
" I plan on joining the academy if they'll have me." ' He doesn't seem to understand what a shinobi is.' I shake my head slightly as I try to fight the oncoming train of thoughts appearing within my mind.
" The academy? But your too old!" I leave the kitchen to place my underwear back to their drying place on the floor in front of my window.
" They technically never said I couldn't apply. Nor did they say I couldn't attend." The feelings I had with the academy were gone as was my determination to go. My head was reeling with many thoughts of my different voices and my personalities as it is apart of my schizophrenia symptoms. Within that moment I have a thought of temptation. To kick Naruto out of here and to deal with this myself. It's all I can do to keep my sanity as I hear Naruto ask.
" Are you ok?" I place my hand on my head and hold it as I say.
" I'm just experiencing a little bit of head trouble that's all."
" Hey are you alright?" I hear Sakura's voice so clearly it makes me tear up as I look for her within the living room.
My mind tells me that she is there, that she is standing to Naruto's right and that she shows me a concerned look. Yet I physically see nothing, she is not there. In truth I know very well that she didn't exist there with me. 'She exist with her family, not with me.' That thought penetrates through me and I somehow begin to find my sanity. The thought also reminds me that this world is a lot more different then my own.
" Naruto, tell me about the academy."
" How do you know I go to the academy?" He exclaims and I find myself smiling.
" You just seem like a kid that would do that." At this point I was trying my hardest not to reveal anything that I knew about his future or at least his possible future. That sentence though wasn't a lie I knew that as much; but my mind returns back to the imagined presence of an Older Sakura Haruno
Despite my hallucination of Sakura being slightly realistic for a hopeful dream. I have to kill my heart's feelings for her at his moment to gain some sanity. Even if my mental picture of her has given me solace more then once before now. I knew very well that I was getting to my limit of mentally tolerating the insanity of my schizophrenia.
I decide to sit down by my drying cloths as he begins to talk about the school.
" The Academy is so awesome!" He starts off and I feel a need to honestly try to listen.
" We get to learn how to fight and we learn how to become a Shinobi! My teacher Iruka-sensei is kind of mean, he always gets mad at me for not doing my homework." I cannot help my curiosity and ask.
" What about your classmates?" He gives me this big smile.
" There's this girl named Hinata and she's kind of weird. She always talks weird; but she's really cute! Then theirs Sakura-chan; she's kind of cute too but then she's into this guy named Sasuke and I really hate him."
He goes on to talk about the other people within the class and I feel pleased to be informed that the same children were still around. Sasuke was still that grump of a boy. Naruto liked Hinata; but he also liked Sakura so it wasn't bad. He seemed to be more informed about things when it came to the actual fighting techniques for his age; but anything that was academic he couldn't really explain to me. As he talked he wandered from the topic of the academy to what girls he liked to his favorite type of ramen then went back to talking about girls. Around this point I knew he was rambling and time went by pretty fast. And I admit I really needed the distraction.
" Hinata has to be the most prettiest girl I've ever seen. I mean I've seen other cute girls but they all don't like me. She at least talks to me. She does it weird though. She always does this weird thing where she repeats parts of words many times and it gets annoying sometimes." I came to the point where I checked my undergarments and found that they were dry. I look to Naruto and call him to attention as he is about to say something.
" Naruto." He gives me a startled look and asks.
" What?"
" My laundry is dry; but it's dark outside right now." He begins to look sullen and I continue on with my question.
" Do you still want me to play with you?" He gives me this look of surprise and I find myself smiling at his suddenly excited demeanor.
" Yea! Let's go to the park! I bet it will be so cool in the dark!" I can't help but smile at his happy excitement.
" Ok, well let me put these on and then we'll go ok?" I walk passed Naruto and I go to my toilet room to change.
" Uh, don't you have other clothes to wear or something?"
" No, these and the clothes I'm wearing are the only clothes I have."
" So you weren't wearing underwear?" He exclaims and I answer through the door.
" You see why I didn't want to go out before?" I could feel heat rise to my cheeks as I put on my undergarments. For a random moment I decide to look into the mirror and study my reflection.
I look to have brown eyes but I've seen them become a golden brown in some lights. my face had a few scabs here and there from picking. My face is still kind of chubby though I'm sure I've seen it be slightly more. my nose is small but not super small that it doesn't compliment my face. My eye brows are big; but that's because I never saw a reason to trim them. Too much of a hassle to me. My hair was messy for being curly. It only curled around my face and it didn't do much curling. My hair could be mistaken for brown but its a dishwater blond and taking a moment to analyze it i can still see its blond tone though its faint. When it comes to my face i have been feeling neutral about it. I don't hate it; but I don't like it. Right now though I could tell it looked like a mess and I'm pretty sure other people could tell.
' Oh well, nothing much I can do about it.' I leave the bathroom and see Naruto with his arms folded looking a little annoyed.
" Sorry Naruto, didn't mean to be that long." He runs to the door and yells.
"Come on lets go!"
" Ok, but you lead the way I don't know where the park is." After putting on my boots I follow him out the door and into the dark outdoors of town.
The town does have lights though they came from different shops that were open or lights from people's houses. It doesn't make it hard to follow Naruto thought I do have to ask him more than once to slow down. He does call me old lady more than once and it surprises me that I don't feel offended.
When we arrived there were no kids and it was a simple little park. Monkey bars are there, a spinning contraption is there that I never learned the name of, there is some swings and there is a slide. The park was all gravel instead of being pavement or grass. There were no street lights directly inside of the park; though there was light post just outside on the farthest side. Big buildings enclosed this small park and there were streets on the side we arived and the opposite from me. Naruto runs to the park with giddy excitement.
For a moment I look up at the sky and I see stars that I do not recognize. No constellation I knew stuck out at me at that moment. In the very least I prayed that everything would be ok as I worried about the 'nightly predators' that women and children faced. Being with Naruto now makes me hope that something of this event is healing for the boy as I know he desperately needs it.
" I don't know what to do first!" I hear Naruto say and I return my gaze back to him. He's looking between the different play equipment and I begin to think about how this was not my job. A parent would take their children out to parks and play with them. At this moment I feel that I am overstepping my boundaries not only as an acquaintance but as someone who could potentially become his friend.
I thought about how I do not want to be his parent and how I don't want to be his guardian. Then I remember there are things that I know I shouldn't do with him because I know how much it could affect the future; but at the same time I know my heart wouldn't let that boy be ignored anymore then what he has been. I know I don't have to be nice to him or play with him and be that parent figure he wants. I know very well that he is looking for attention and this act with him is something he both craves and needs direly.
Yet while these thoughts run in the back in my mind. I can only feel these thoughts and feelings as a vague understanding. At this moment in time, as I walk to Naruto as he demands to be pushed on the swing, I will follow my heart and willingly fulfill that desire if that is what he wants. The kindness in my heart will not let me turn a blind eye at this time.
So I come up behind Naruto where he sat within the swing.
" Ok Naruto, I'm going to lift you up in the swing and pull you back ok?"
" Can you do that underdog thing?"
" I actually don't know how too." I pull his swing back and back up with it. and when I got him back as high as I could I released him. He cried out with a happy demeanor as I pushed him on the swing. He exclaimed happily with every push I gave. He sounds so happy that my eyes attempt to form tears as I know that I'm doing something right. I did this for him for awhile; but despite my attempt to keep with it my arms wore out pretty quickly. I could feel exaustion burn in my arms as I had to relent.
" Hey Naruto I got to have a break. My arms are killing me." I hear Naruto give out a whine.
" Aw! But I really like when you push me!" He didn't have to tell me twice. With his happy exclamations I am quick to try something else to bring joy to that boy.
" Why don't we go to the spinner? I'll spin ya around for awhile." He gets out of the swing and looks back at me. His face is filled with joy I almost thought he was crying.
" Really?" He asks with such happiness his feelings become contagious and amplify my own positive feelings.
" Yea, go on. I'll get to ya in a second." He leaps in bounds over to the spinner and I walk my tired form to Naruto. The spinner is located to the entrance we took into the park in the corner. Its colored with faint yellow and red in a yellow red pattern in pie slices. He climbs up there with giddy excitement and I can tell by the sound that its metal. He sits himself in the center of the spinner and began yelling.
" Spin me! Spin me! Hurry up Grandma!" I found myself slightly annoyed once again by his name calling; and yet it was tempered with amazing pacience.
" Hold on Naruto," ' don't get your panties in a bunch.' " I'm getting there just give me a second." He fought with me just the same with the insistent demand.
I could not help that I feel my strength draining from me as I exerted my energy to this boy. Nevertheless I keep to my word and start to spin the boy with what strength I had.
He squealed happily as I spinned him around.
" Spin me faster Samantha! Spin me faster!" That was the first time I heard him use my name and I couldn't help but comment as I spun the spinner.
" Hey you finally decided to use my name for once! I'm spinning you the best I can though." He still demanded me to spin him and while I did spin him the best I could I had to give in to my fatigue once more and catch my breath. The spinner slowed and I hear Naruto ask.
" Hey why did you stop?" I was breathing hard and trying to fight the burning pain I kept feeling within my arms.
" Sorry Naruto, I'm just trying to catch my breath." He simply says.
" Wow, you really are like an old lady." My retort came easy to me.
" That's what happens when you don't eat for a week." He's silent as I look at him and I see what I think is a thoughtful expression on his face.
" So If I don't eat like for a week I'll get skinny and weak?" I answer him honestly.
" Yea, the body will end up being like that when you starve. But whats worse is being dehydrated." He scrunches his eye brows eyes.
" what does 'dehydrated' mean?"
" It means you don't have enough water in your body. You can't really survive very long without taking in some kind of liquid." He gives me a curious look and asks.
" How long can you live then?"
" Three days at the least or most. It depends on how you look at it." I sigh as I realize the exhaustion is creeping into my mind.
" Naruto, I don't know how much more I can do. Kid i'm just running out of juice." He jumps off the spinner and once again demands. " Catch me at the bottom of the slide!" I smile a tired smile and try to muster up the energy this boy wanted.
" Ok Naruto, but after this we should go back. I don't like being out here." The slide was situated on the other side of the park next to the swings. He climbs up the slide as he asks.
" Why? You scared of the dark or something?" I walk to the end of the slide and answer
" Its not that I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of what's in the dark." As soon as I'm at the bottom of the slide he slides down. I do my best to catch him but my arm strength is not up to par. I can only hold Naruto from reaching the end despite trying to pick him up. He asks.
" What does that mean?"
" There are people who can hurt women like myself or children like yourself. They use this kind of environment to hurt people like me and you." He starts to climb the slide again and looks to be satisfied with my answer until he gets to the top and asks
" So there are people who hurt others?"
" Yes there is," I answer easily. " its unfortunate but it happens."
" So is there like people who are shinobi who hurt other people like you said?" I am tired and yet despite feeling the warning bells I still answered honestly.
" Yes, there probably is." His next words surprize me and have red flags fly within my mind.
" I don't want to be a shinobi anymore."
" Not all shinobi are bad people Naruto." I say quickly as panic began to run with my mind. ' He's supposed to be a shinobi! He can't quit that! Not now! He's so important to everything!' He retorts back.
" But you told me that shinobi hurt people."
" Yes, naruto shinobi do hurt people; but they also help people. They help this village, they help this country, hell they save lives as well as take them." I pause for a small moment and ask.
" But do you know what's more important?" He shakes his head and I feel myself filled with a wisdom I did not know I had.
" We cannot control the lives of others, while we can influence other people nothing is more important then what you can do yourself." I had walked up to Naruto at this point and pointed directly at his heart.
" This is what you can control, your heart." He looks at where my hand is.
" My Heart?" I nod and I can feel this overwellming sense of knowlege hit me and I felt obligated to follow it.
" This is what you can control, How you feel, how you think, how you do things , what things you do. He can tell you more about it."
" Who can?"
" God." The strangest thing happened with Naruto's next word.
" Kami?" His word was not english to me; but it was complete Japanese, Japanese that I actually understood as being its own language.
" Wait did you say kami?" The same word did not sound like english coming out of my mouth this time.
" Uh, yea isn't that the word you used?" I know it was important, something inside of me told me it was important; but my mind couldn't process it now.
" You know what Naruto, there is a difference between you and everyone else. You can actually choose who you want to be." I seemed to come back to my senses as shot as they were and I proceeded to tell Naruto. Despite turning away from him
" You can choose who you want to be Naruto, whether it is to be a shinobi, or to be a writer." Naruto caught me off guard with his next sentence
" Did you want to become a writer?" It shocked me a lot that he could ask such a question; but as any question did I thought it deserved as much honesty as I had in me.
" Yes, Yes Naruto I did once want to become a shinobi, I mean a writer. I wanted to become a writer." I can't help but put my hand on my face.
" Look, I'm tired and I probably can't give very good advice right now." I look back up at the boy as he grumbles and then asks with a depressed tone.
" Does that mean we have to go home?" I look up at the sky and look at the moon. It's high within the sky by now and I wonder if its like this all the time.
" Yea, I think we should go home."
" Aw..." he says I can't help but smile.
" Ok, I'll catch you one more time and we got to go back ok?" He holds a pout and starts this bratty attitude all of a sudden.
" I don't want to go home!" I simply lost all sympathy at that moment.
" Well I guess your going to have to walk home alone then." Even with my mental exhaustion I could actually remember how I got there. So I turn my back to him and begin to leave.
" Wait don't go!" I turn around and he scrambles to the top of the slide again. He sits there and says.
" I want you to catch me!" I smile and my sympathy returns.
" Ok, but if I do we have to go home together." He nods. I walk to the end of the slide and position myself to 'catch' him. I don't have the strength to pick him up but this time I'll try. He slides down and I use the last bit of strength I have to lift him up. I barely manage to pick him up a few inches. Lucky me he stands to his feet before I drop him.
" I want to do that again!"
" Now Naruto we agreed on going home together." Before I could say one word he threw another bratty faze and I did not like it one bit.
" Well, If your going to act like that I'll just go home then." To be honest I hated walking home in the dark. He didn't think it was nessisary to throw his bratty fit when I really did start leaving. Before I got ten feet away he ran back to me and we walked home together.
When we got home all I could really think about was getting some sleep, the craving for food had passed for most of the day. I still try to do the smart thing and at least walk Naruto to his door; which happens to be next to mine but its to the left while Mitoko's family is to my right.
" Hey can we do that again?" Despite being tired I actually found myself ok with the idea and decide to say ok to it though I try to mention some cons to the boy to start teaching him cons to his actions.
" If you really want to; but if you throw anymore of those bratty fits of yours we're going to have some issues." We had just finished climbing the stairs and was about to enter our apartments.
" Yea that would be awesome!" I walk to my apartment and I look at Naruto.
" Well Naruto we've been out late so I need to go to bed, I'm tired." He takes that moment to yawn and rub his eyes. I ruffle is spikey blond hair gently for a brief moment and tell him.
" Good night Naruto." I enter my apartment and put my mind to getting some sleep.
When the lights are out and i'm laying down on the floor I feel a presence next to me.
I open my eyes and I swear I can almost see a silhouette laying beside me.
" Sakura?" Lights went on within my mind as I realize. ' This halusination is not Sakura, the real Sakura exists here. You don't have to imagin her anymore.' ' But where is she?' I fight to give a more coherent thought. ' She's probably Naruto's age and for our sakes you do not need to think about her anymore.' God I want to meet her and to know her, but my feelings for her are romanticized. I realize this as I lay there on that floor. ' You must give her the same space you do for Naruto for both of our sakes.' I realize then that for her sake and my own I hope I never meet her because I truly don't know what this development of emotions for her has done to me.