Yeah... I know this update was a little sooner rather than later like I keep promising but I wanted to get this depressing scene over with. So I hope it's worth it.
Disclaimer: Funerals... Crazy Rites right...
DAY 325 - 326?
That's how the next day or so went. It was difficult to tell how much time passed since I couldn't really see over the side of the clown car. I think it's been awhile. The whole atmosphere of the Darklands was dark and gloomy making it tough to distinguish day from night.
My king continued traveling consoling family to family. Each recipient of his gesture returned the embrace. I wonder if this is the only time King Koopa's subjects show him affection. It explained why he'd be beloved by all citizens performing this act of respect whenever death occurred.
Finally nearing dusk on whichever day, we landed outside of Loki's house. I could tell because my king motioned me to follow him from the clown car. Loki's home was stone similar to all the others except they appeared to have a chimney. The top of it looked similar to the rook piece from a chess set giving the illusion of a miniature castle.
Approaching the wooden front door, King Koopa stopped almost 5 feet from it. The stoppage allowed my head time to spot two flowerbeds resting on either side. It was a cute scene and would have probably been rated high on the curb appeal scale back on Earth.
However instead of tulips, snap dragons, and mums of Earth, multiple colored mushrooms blossomed (Is that the right word for growing fungi?) on the right while various vegetables including turnips, onions, and beets stemmed from the soil in the left bed. I wandered in front of the mushroom patch and was surprised seeing purple caps mixed among the plumes.
"Sire, I thought purple mushrooms were poisonous," I whispered heading back to his side.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean they're not valuable," King Koopa explained. "Sometimes they can strengthen weapons or counter other poisons with their toxicity.
"Plus they are aesthetically appeasing. Never underestimate the power of a mushroom here," he finished. One thing was right. The purple blended well among the red, green, and brown capped fungi.
Suddenly the front door opened outward like a drawbridge instead of a normal door. I laughed as the illusion of a castle strengthened. A beautiful Koopa Troopa stood in the doorway (I assume she was beautiful by turtle standards anyway).
King Koopa acted differently this time by leading with a hug instead of waiting until the end. "Sheila, I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you, King Koopa," the female koopa replied.
Sheila wore a black shell similar to everyone else. A side from elongated eyelashes, some black lipstick (Um… Could it be turtle wax?), and a little darker yellow scale tone, she could have passed for Loki's… er… um… I guess Loki himself.
I wonder if her darker complexion was a result from gardening. After the embrace with King Koopa ended, her eyes fixated to me. I swallowed not sure how to start the conversation.
"Sheila, this is Footstool. He wanted to pay his respects to Loki," my king introduced me.
"So that's the human," she said to the king.
"Hello Mrs. Loki. Your husband was an honorable man. The Darklands suffered a terrible loss," I wringed my hands diverting my eyes to the ground. I noticed that her black boots had 6 inch heels.
Sheila surprised me by lunging forward and openly hugging me in front everyone outside. "Thank you, Footstool."
Tears trickled down my checks onto her shell. I tried stopping them blinking multiple times but Sheila's hug opened a valve I couldn't shut off. A series of thoughts cycled through my head.
'How can she thank me? I got Loki killed. If I hadn't become his prisoner, I wouldn't have become his friend. If I incurred his wrath instead of kindness, he wouldn't be considered a traitor. If he didn't get King Koopa to protect me from Master Kamek, Loki wouldn't have been deployed and would still be alive today.'
"I'm sorry Mrs. Loki," I whispered. "I don't deserve your thanks."
She pulled back. Placing her claw digit under my chin, she tilted my head up forcing me to look her in the eyes then smiled warmly. "You protected Loki both in the jungle and then again today."
"Y-You heard about that," I blushed. Apparently gossip travels through the city streets quicker than in the castle.
"Yes." She turned to King Koopa. "Would you please come inside?" I stayed frozen in place outside when they vanished inside. "You, too, Footstool."
Hesitantly, I followed the two Koopas. The interior of Loki's home was as unique as the castle-like exterior. Brick constructed several pieces of furniture including a couch, a few end tables and chairs, as well as, the walls. Marble tiles lined the floors extending from the living area through what I suppose was a dining room and kitchen.
Mrs. Loki led us through the room full of guests to a large brick box that held the deceased Loki. His yellow scales were paler than usual. Almost like when he thought we were going to be yelled at by the king or caught by Master Kamek. His shell was black too but despite being in a crash his face and arms looked unblemished. I bent over the coffin.
"I'm sorry I got you killed," I whispered to the closed eye corpse. Holding back my tears was proving more and more difficult. His face looked peaceful as if he was simply sleeping.
I was a mixed bag of anger and pity toward his executioner. "I promise I'll get Mario back. However I don't think I'd be able to avenge you. I don't have that killer streak in me," I gently touched his hand hoping this was a dream and that my friend would wake up.
I sighed knowing that was just a pipedream then continued my final words to him. "I'm sorry, Loki, may you forgive me? Goodbye."
After I finished paying my respects, Sheila directed me to stand beside her. It allowed me the opportunity to survey the room and spot several familiar faces. Strangely, they gave me their condolences after Loki.
First was that secret faced, Simon. He ran about the home making last minute preparations on food trays and nitpicking touches wiping away dirt, dust, or I guess soot from the furniture. Loki did say the Shy Guy was assigned as their personal servant.
Next passerby was King Koopa's own gourmet Chef Xander. He carried a tray of deliciously appealing pastries. So appealing in fact, the chef yelled at a few smaller than usual Koopa Troopas trying to sneak a puff pastry or two. I laughed watching him pull a few extra deserts from a bag giving it to the kids.
Hey wait KIDS! Could they have been Loki's kids? I glanced back through the crowd but the tiny koopa trooplings were gone. No doubt enjoying the spoils of Xander's generosity, it left the pit of my stomach a little jealous.
Kol entered. He was followed closely by Bain and Ed. All three sported various degrees of bandages. Tsk… Tsk… Poor Bain, I don't think I've ever seen the wolf without a broken jaw. A splint bound, Ed's right leg and a crutch supported his weight. Kol's face remained scared since the crash. He said it was by choice.
I didn't understand why Ed and Kol didn't eat a mushroom to heal their wounds. Bain, I understood. It's hard to eat a mushroom when your jaw is tied shut but why not the other two. I later found out that there is a limit to the amount of time a mushroom can heal you. Apparently if a mushroom isn't consumed within 3 days of injury, the body's own natural healing processes begin and render the mushroom's power useless.
After the incoming group of mourners finished paying their respects, King Koopa made his way over to Kol, Bain, and Ed leaving me alone with Sheila. Unsure of the best way to start a conversation, I ended up breaking the silence with a question.
"How are your kids doing," I inquired knowing… "The loss of a parent can be devastating."
"They're okay and Koopa kids are resilient. Since they're born into a war, we educate them young about this kind of loss as a possible scenario," she answered. "I know it's morbid but it's to help soften the shock. Although…
"Nothing ever prepares you for it," Sheila turned toward the casket then looked back as a realization hit her. "Oh wait a minute! You haven't met them yet."
She hurried to one of the brick walls looking toward the ceiling. "Kids, can you come down here, please?" The female turtle hurried back to my side. "Loki wanted them to meet you."
Heavy footsteps rapped against the ceiling sounding like a stampede was passing over head. A semi tall turtle appeared walking in air. It took a minute for the scene to register. I realized a staircase made out of bricks lined that wall. It was an ingenious design blending the steps with the wall.
A short turtle followed on the heels of the taller one (who only made it partway down). Finally, the runt of the litter (if I ever saw one) ran attempting to catch up but tripped on the second stair from the top. It became a missile toppling the two in front.
All three minitroopas retracted into their shells becoming ricocheting projectiles bouncing off the walls and furniture before my king, Kol, and I stopped them with our feet. I stopped the smallest of the three. A minute passed until their limbs reemerged. King Koopa escorted the others to me and Sheila.
The tallest child growled at the shortest. "We told you to wait until we were downstairs."
"You have to until you learn to do the steps," the 2nd reptile added.
"Sawry," the runt rubbed the back of his little head.
"Kids, I want you to meet Footstool. He's a friend of your father's," Sheila walked behind three miniature replicas of her and Loki. She started with the tallest. "This big guy is Roland Koopa."
"Awe mom," he mumbled having his cheek pinched.
Sheila moved behind the 2nd oldest. "This is Mei Koopa. Our wittle pwincess."
'So the 2ndoldest is a girl' I thought still having trouble distinguishing the males from female Koopas. Yeah, I'm assuming their height indicates birth age too.
Stepping behind the smallest turtle, she placed a clawed hand gently on its shoulder. "And Tommy Koopa. He still has trouble with the stairs."
My jaw dropped as new tears threaten to leak from my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Loki named one of his kids after me? Why? Did he really respect me that much? As if confirming all the questions rattling inside my head, Sheila simply nodded when we made eye contact.
"Tommy, yuck," King Koopa said making a face. It was the usual disgusted face I now associated with my name. You know kind of like sticking out your tongue when eating something sour. "What kind of name is that?"
Neither Sheila nor I responded. We decided to let King Koopa's question seem rhetorical. Instead I looked and bowed to each of the kids. "It's an honor to meet you."
"You, too, mister," they responded in unison taking off after Sheila dismissed them.
"Sheila, would you like Loki to become a Drybones," King Koopa asked causing me to catch my breath. Loki told me he didn't want to become a Drybones but is that something I'm aloud to say out loud.
"No, thank you King Koopa," Sheila replied. "Loki didn't want to lose his memories of me and the kids."
She gave me a quick smirk. 'Did she know he told me or could Sheila be implying Loki thought of me as one of his kids too?' Oh… Sometimes I really hate being a slave and not being able to ask questions directly.
"Very well then," King Koopa seemed upset. "We'll proceed with the usual Cremation Ritual." King Koopa lifted the brick coffin as if it were a feather and began walking toward the door.
'Cremation Ritual' I thought. 'Does that mean King Koopa uses his fire breath to turn the body into ash?'
I motioned to follow my king until he made an abrupt turn. Instead of going outside, he carried the deceased to the bathroom. A morbid irony creased my lips forcing mixed reactions in me as I watched King Koopa lowering the brick box into the toilet.
My brain half rationalized that the Darklands was probably overcrowded and probably couldn't accommodate underground burials. My brain, also, said the lava will burn the body much quicker and more completely. Its last argument was that the whole city was basically built atop molten lava there may not be ground deep enough to bury the dead.
However, my stomach couldn't help feel a twinge. For all intensive purposes, King Koopa basically flushed Loki down the toilet. Grant it, the toilet's bowl is a lava pool but basically King Koopa treats his subjects as if they were goldfish that just died.
"Baldo, dear, are you feeling okay," Sheila asked drawing my attention. Nobody appeared to be within ear range of the outrageous crime she just committed not even the king.
"Yes, Mrs. Loki. This is just my first Darkland funeral," I answered struggling to hold in my nausea. "So, Master Loki told you?"
"Yes. My husband was really very fond of you," Sheila explained. "He'd always regale us with stories of your time together. Races in the castle. Sparring matches with Morton Koopa." She leaned in close whispering. "He even enjoyed your performance as Mario."
"He saw that?"
"Yes, Morton sent him a video tape of the recital," Sheila replied. "He knew it was you in the Mario costume instantly."
"I'm glad he got to see it," my eyes saw King Koopa reemerging from the restroom then looked back to Mrs. Loki. "I miss him."
Sheila gave me another hug. This time I reciprocated. I wrapped my arms around her shell and squeezed back. My king arrived looming over us for almost two minutes before clearing his throat.
"Ahem," King Koopa's gullet vibrated the building. It forced a halt to all of the conversations.
"I apologize my king for overstepping my place," I answered.
"I'll let it slide on behalf of Sheila this time, Footstool," he smirked back. "Sheila, have you thought about what to do now?"
"Yes, King Koopa. I'm going to move the kids to the Shy Guy's Desert Island," she informed. "My servant promised to continue his services there if you'd permit it."
The king nodded. "Very well but I'm, also, sending Bain and Ed too." King Koopa spotted the trio speaking to each other. "I know Shy Guys are usually shy but I want the horse and wolf there to protect you in case there is trouble."
"Yes my king. Your benevolence knows no bounds," Sheila curtseyed. "Hold on a second." Sheila directed at me then disappearing into the kitchen. She returned carrying a long box. "Loki wanted you to have this if anything happened to him, Footstool."
I opened the box and nearly had both of my eyes pop out of their sockets. Inside was the bone sword King Koopa presented Loki with after my battle royal. "But Mrs. Loki shouldn't this go to one of your kids?"
"It has," Sheila's answer prompted an unexpected tight hug.
I turned to King Koopa nearly in tears. "Sire, may I keep it?"
He held out his claw hand. He basically ordered me to hand it over which I complied. The king pointed the blade at an angle toward the ceiling then licked a finger-like digit. Tracing the finger along the blade, King Koopa flipped the sword in his hands.
"Yes," he replied holding the sword toward me.
"Thank you, your majesty," I accepted the blade excitedly. "Your benevolence knows no bounds."
"It was better when she said it," King Koopa smirked while directing his thumb in Sheila's direction. It was the same exchange from when Loki received the sword. "Besides that blade's not sharp enough to cut me during the night."
With the memorial finally ended and after exchanging goodbyes and fare-the-wells, I followed my king back toward the clown car. I held the bone sword skyward. Despite King Koopa's assessment, the sword was still very sharp. A serious concern entered my head.
"Um, sire. Would you allow me to learn to wield the sword," I asked seeing his eye roll back to me. "I want to be properly trained so I know how to use it to protect the castle if it's attacked."
King Koopa stopped, turned, and stared me in the eyes. "Very well Footstool. I'll find the best swordsman in the land. However, I want you to keep up with your boxing skills. Just in case you're disarmed, I don't want you unarmed."
"Yes, sir," I smiled officially unofficially having permission to spar with Mort.
"Good," he climbed into the clown car. "Oh and you can sleep in tomorrow."
"Thank you, sire," I yawned unable to find any stars in the night sky.