Dealing with a Lost Past

A/N First and foremost, thank you to everyone who's reviewed lately. Reviews keep me alive and wanting to write for this almost hopeless series (read the manga if you don't know what I'm talking about) and all of your kind words are really keeping me motivated to write, write well, and write fast. This chapter is incredibly long, at least compared to anything I've written before, and discusses issues which some may find a bit sensitive (parent deaths). I've done my best to think of ways for both mothers to pass away as to sort of fit into the canon, but the story is officially non-canon now, even in terms of what events occur between characters. Anyways, there'll be a few more words at the end, so let's get into the story. Enjoy!

Sõma didn't know if his jaw had ever dropped as low as it was now. There were thoughts running around in his head, and a lot of them. Mainly though, he could only think about two things. Either, my old man's insane and all the travelling has finally screwed up his brain. That, or he's telling the truth… It can't be true though! Nakiri practically hates me… Yeah, it can't be true. There's no way!

"Hey Sõma, you look pretty flustered over there." His dad had a playful smirk decorating his face, and his eyes had a mischievous look to them. "I mean, it's not that hard to believe is it? You too already act like you're married, and this should help explain why to both of you."

"Shut up old man, we barely count as friends. I'm pretty sure she hates me; with a passion, at that. And besides, none of this makes any sense. All the photos we have at home are just of me, mum and you, so where'd all the photos with the Nakiris go?"

"Sõma, I'm sure you noticed that sometimes I'd just sit in my room for a while, right? Or when I'd be staring at my phone wordlessly for minutes at a time? Well, the photos are all with me, and that rascal Azami. We didn't want either of you two to have to remember what had happened that night, so we decided it was better if all records of our families' meetings were kept away from you. And besides, I can see you're already seeing the possibilities of this." Joichiro could see in his son's eyes that the loose ends were slowly coming together.

"I mean, I guess it does explain… some things," Sõma said while still in deep thought. He thought back to when Senzaemon had visited Sõma after Azami had first arrived at Totsuki, and how the Food Demon had said to him that he was the only one who could save Erina. The young redhead had thought back then that this meant Senzaemon believed in his cooking ability, but now he could see a much deeper meaning behind those words. "But dad, you're being completely serious right? Like, this all really happened?"

"Indeed Sõma, this all happened not too many years ago. And, after hearing from Senzaemon where Erina recently flew off to, I'm betting she's just been told the same thing from her dad."

"Wait dad, she's not meant to meet him! Especially not so soon." Sõma's mind was running at the speed of light, and he was more worried than he thought he had ever been before. "She… she'll have a break down again, or she'll start panicking and be vulnerable to senpai's word-!"

"Kid, you need to calm down." The older chef tried to console his frantic son. "This was all going to happen eventually, and I know Azami well enough to know that he won't be trying anything with her. Especially since me and Dojima know that she is with him. Trust me, Erina-chan will be fine." Joichiro couldn't help but feel proud of his son; even after spending nearly all his time cooking his friends were still so important to the young boy.

"O-okay, if you're sure. I just, I can't help but worry for her. No matter how rude or annoying she is to me, it's like I… Oh I don't know. All these feelings are turning my head inside out old man!" Sõma was frustrated, to say the least, and now that his dad was finally here and Sõma was feeling a lot lighter after talking about his mum, the young redhead wanted to set his feelings straight. "I can't help but feel like what you told me that day is related to Erina, but I don't know how. Or why."

"Man, and here I was thinking my son would grow up to have half a brain. Akiko, I think we expected too much of him!" Like Sõma, Joichiro was also feeling happier now. Almost like a burden he hadn't noticed had been lifted off his shoulders, finally allowing him to talk about the late woman. As such, the Totsuki dropout had decided to tease his son until the young boy's face turned the same colour as his hair out of pure rage.

"Come on old man, I'm being honest here. I got no clue what's going on in my stupid head, and all of it revolves around that blonde princess." Sõma needed to understand why the young headmistress was setting his feelings in a whirl but was rapidly growing impatient because of his father's insistence to annoy him. "I need your help; because I'm worried my cooking is going to start suffering if I don't get this stuff straight soon."

"Alright alright. I'll stop beatin' around the bush. Truth is, there's not much for me to explain son. I told you how I felt about your mum when we first met, all the way until she went away, right?"

"I mean yeah, but that was you two, and you guys were like 'crazily in love with each other' or whatever, right?" Sõma had said the word crazily while miming inverted commas, and the old man laughed at his gesture heartily. Man, kids these days really are too focused on their goals. Joichiro couldn't help but pity his son's lack of understanding slightly. "You two loved each other like no other, but me and Nakiri? She wants to get me expelled dad!"

"I don't think you're looking deep enough son. Remember when you two took down Central? That smile she gave you? Senzaemon told me he hadn't seen her smile like that since the last time our families were together. And that was nearly 10 years ago! You really gonna try tell me there isn't more to your relationship than that?" Joichiro was almost certain the two young chefs had caught feelings for each other, but having spent their whole lives after the accident devoted to cooking, didn't know how to approach the change in thought about the other person. And the old man was damn determined to set his son's feelings straight.

"I… I don't know dad. I'm not used to all of this 'romance' stuff, so I don't know if what I'm feeling is the same thing you're talking about, ya know? Let's be honest, she was probably grateful that Central had been taken down, and that she didn't have to see Azami-senpai anymore. There's so many other times where me and her have had moments, but there's no way I can know if-"

"Sõma, you need to calm down. You're not going about this the right way, ya hear? When I told your mum how I felt about her, I had no proof she felt the same way. There's never going to be any way of knowing for certain if the person you like feels the same way about you. Love's a gamble, and nothing can change that. But you know how you feel, and you need to come face to face with those feelings and get them out in the open!"

"That's the thing though, old man! I don't know how I feel about her! I'm new to all of this, and now that you've told me all these things about my history with her, how am I meant to feel sure about this stuff? And I… I'm scared, I guess? What if she doesn't like me? What if there's some rich snob that Nakiri likes because he's known throughout all the culinary world and their family owns a world-famous restaurant that everyone knows about? I can't compete with that, can I? I don't have any of those things dad!"

Joichiro was about to say something when a familiar voice called out to the two men from inside the dorm. "Saiba-senpai, Sõma-kun! The alumni are leaving soon, you need to hurry if you want to say goodbye to them!" Takumi shouted from across the garden.

"We'll be there in a minute Takumi, thanks for calling us!" Sõma shouted back, slightly annoyed at the interruption. "I… I guess we can talk afterwards, dad?"

"O'course, son. Let's just get inside for now, eh?"

Erina walked tediously behind her father, anxious to hear his explanation about, well… everything. After all, how could there be photos of her with her mother, father, as well as her idol Saiba-sama and his family, yet there be no recollection of their meetings. Something was definitely up, and the young blonde wanted to know what was going on. As soon as possible.

"Take a seat, Erina. Assuming you want to know everything, we're going to be here a while." Erina had noticed her father was using a much softer and… father-like tone than he had been the last time they had been together.

What happened to change his mind about me so fast? Erina was confused, to say the least, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel happy at his kind way of talking to her. It made the Nakiri heiress feel like she was really getting to see her father after, well; forever.

"Thank you, father. Can I ask how you knew I was coming to see you if you don't mind?" That was one detail the headmistress hadn't been able to figure out thus far. She hadn't explicitly told anyone she was going to see her father, yet somehow Azami himself had been expecting her. A parent's instinct, or was there more to it?

"Well, your grandfather had noticed that your schedule had been cleared for a few days, and decided to look into your flight records to check if there had been any urgent business you had needed to attend to. Of course, he saw you had been coming to the States, and decided to contact me in advance so I could prepare myself."

"Prepare for… what, exactly? I mean, there should be a pretty simple explanation for all this right? I don't remember anything about my mother, so none of those photos could be real. I mean, I couldn't have lost my memory or anything like that, of course?" Erina had said the last bit with a bit of a smile, inwardly laughing at the implausibility of such a situation.

Azami looked startled for a second, but quickly composed himself. Erina had noticed the slight change in her father's demeanour, but waited for the man to speak. After a moment, the black haired-chef spoke up, his voice soft and comforting. "Our family was once happy Erina. You, me and your beautiful and kind mother." Azami was holding something in his hands now, and looking closer, Erina saw the back of what looked like a photo frame. She could only guess who was in the photo. "We used to be incredibly close to another family, as I'm sure you saw in some of the photos. Saiba-senpai's family, to be precise. Your mother and senpai's wife hadn't known each other for very long, but were almost like sisters. Inseparable, actually. Even in death, they stayed as close as friends can be." He broke off there, almost like he was consoling himself before he carried on. Erina, however.

Erina was confused. Azami was speaking coherently, sure. But the 'story' of sorts he was telling was absolutely all over the place. Erina had no clue what he was talking about anymore! But she let him continue. Sensing this was a topic her father hadn't talked about in a while, the girl let him finish the story uninterrupted.

"I haven't spoken about your mother in a while. In fact, in a few months, it will've been ten years since Emiko and Akiko died. 10 years since the accident. And 10 years since our family fell apart. She… she really was that important to us, eh?" Azami had a wistful but also slightly guilty look on his face, and Erina couldn't help but wonder why. Regardless, she let her father continue once he was ready to keep talking.

"It was a year after me and Emiko graduated. Senpai had returned to Totsuki to meet with Senzaemon-dono, as well as Fumio-san and some others he hadn't seen since he left the academy just over two years prior. I had gone to see him with Emiko, eager to let senpai see who I had ended up falling in love with. To my surprise, he himself had found someone, and I had never seen him look so… content? It was like a new spark had ignited in him, which had fizzled away while he was still at the academy. We talked, and while we had expected there to be some communication between Emiko and Akiko, the two became friends almost instantly. There was almost some invisible connection between them, even though they were practically polar opposites."

Azami turned the frame he had been holding towards Erina, and the young girl gasped upon inspection of the photo. The woman she assumed to be her mother looked almost exactly the same as Erina, with flowing blonde locks and pointy sideburns very similar to the young princess'. Erina couldn't help but feel overwhelmed at how beautiful her mother had been, and looking over to the other people in the photo she noted how Sõma's mother was just as beautiful, even if she carried herself in a different way. Akiko too had shiny blonde hair, however, hers was cut a lot shorter, resting just below her shoulders. She wasn't dressed in particularly flashy clothes, but she looked stunning to Erina nonetheless.

"This photo was taken the first time our families met, in the Nakiri mansion, actually. Saiba-senpai and Akiko had planned to go back to their diner after meeting everyone senpai had wanted to at the academy, but Akiko and Emiko had struck up such a good friendship they ended up staying for a few days, with me and senpai left in shock quite frankly. Emiko had been one of the best chefs in our generation, while Akiko had come from her family diner. She was terrible at cooking, as even she was ready to admit, but the two just couldn't be separated." Azami looked at Erina now, and the girl could tell that her father had been wanting to tell her about this for a while. His gaze, however, was still just as soft as it had been before, and it warmed Erina's heart slightly to know her father still cared about her.

"After that, our families met up very regularly. Whether we visited Yukihira diner, or they visited Nakiri mansion, our families spent a lot of time together. 6 years passed after our graduation, and we had been visiting the diner on a Saturday night. Our marriages had happened one after the other, which was Akiko's idea. The four of us had been conversing as usual, with me, senpai and Emiko having a friendly Shoukugeki with Akiko as the judge. Then, Emiko and Akiko had gone upstairs, without saying why. Many minutes had passed, and me and senpai had gone to check on the two, worried something had happened. When we walked into the room both women were sat in however, they had been crying out of happiness with two positive pregnancy tests on the floor." Azami looked proudly at his daughter, then at the photo that Erina was now holding tightly in her hands, as Erina blushed at her father's sudden acts of love.

Is this what having a father is really like? Is this the bond Yukihira-kun has with Saibi-sama? Erina blushed at the thought of the two Yukihiras, annoyed that she had been thinking about the new First Seat once again. This boy really is bad for my heart, isn't he? First, I crushed on Saiba-sama for God knows how long, and now I can't stop thinking about that stupid commoner. He's a COMMONER Erina! I need to get myself together.

"The two of them had been crying their eyes out like there was no tomorrow, and to be fair me and senpai weren't far from that. It hadn't been that long since the marriages, and we were all still finding our way in our relationships between cooking and travelling, and now children. To this day, those moments we spent in Yukihira diner that night have been the happiest I've ever been, and I'm sure Emiko would say the same to you, Erina." Azami stumbled somewhat, knowing full well the trauma he had put his child through after Emiko's death. He didn't know if his actions could ever be redeemed, but he wanted Erina to know the full story, and perhaps give him a chance for forgiveness.

"For nearly 6 years after you were born, our families stayed as close as we had been before. Perhaps we were even closer, thanks to the bond you and the young Sõma shared. You two, much similar to Emiko and Akiko, had been the best of friends. Challenging each other to Shoukugekis with your small utensils and beginner ovens, or seeing who could walk for the longest without falling over, you spent all the time in the world together." The man looked over to Erina again but was surprised to see his daughter, the cruel Ice Queen of Totsuki, flushed a very deep shade of red. Like, incredibly red.

"For your 6th birthday, you, Emiko, Akiko and Sõma were going to be flying to America to trial food from some of the famous restaurants in the country. Your gift had already been long discovered, but me and Emiko had been very careful in not over-working you since you were still so young." Azami had lowered his voice slightly here, and Erina could hear guilt dripping out of his words like a leaking pipe. She was still terrified of her father due to what he had done to her, but she was starting to understand maybe there were reasons behind his actions. "The world knew about your talents, and chefs were eager to get you to try to critique their food. As such, you were seen as a valuable resource, so to speak. At least, in the eyes of some people." Azami was barely even whispering here, and Erina noticed his eyes were shut. Tightly. Almost like, he was reliving what he was telling her?

Erina didn't know what overcame her, but she reached out a hand and placed it gently on her father's fingers. She could tell this was difficult for the man as well, and she wanted to hear this story out to the end. She rubbed her fingers gently over his, in an effort to console her obviously distressed father.

"The… the plane you were on had been a public flight. All for of you were of course in first class, but it had been a civilian plane nonetheless. An explosive of some kind had been placed on board, in hopes to ground the flight close to take-off in order to… kidnap you. None of the staff had known about it, and around five minutes after take-off, it was detonated. Both Emiko and Akiko, knowing you and Sõma were still too young to understand what was going on, had clutched each of you in a brace position, with their bodies ready to take the impact when the plane crashed. And… it crashed. The… the police had made it fast enough to the scene to prevent the culprits from getting to you and Sõma, but it had been too late. The… the impact had taken too much out of both of them." The usually composed man now had tears streaming down his face, and Erina was honestly lost for words.

It… it had been her fault, hadn't it? That her mother and Sõma's mother had died. If she hadn't been given this stupid God's Tongue, no one would've paid any mind to either her or Sõma's family.

Her thoughts were cut short by her father's voice. "I know what you're probably thinking. But, you have to understand this could've happened regardless of whether you had the God's Tongue or not. The Nakiri name was as well-known back then as it is now, so people could have come after us anyways. Just, please Erina, don't blame yourself. I had foolishly believed it had been because of you back then, and all I did was cause you more pain. Please, please child. Don't take this out on yourself."

"Does… does Sõma know about all of this?" Erina was still trying to keep herself from completely letting her emotions out, but she needed to know. Had the redhead been lying to her all this time?

"Sõma was also hurt in the accident, so he doesn't remember the time our families spent together, that's for sure. Although, he has faint memories of his mother if I recall correctly, but that's about all."

"Thank you for this, father. I, I need some time alone. To think. So I will head back home now if that's alright with you?"

"I'll have a flight arranged. And Erina."

The blonde looked towards him, reluctantly.

"Take care of yourself. I'm sorry about what I have put you through, and I understand that my actions are unforgiveable. But I hope the best for you, and I know Emiko does as well. She always has."

"Th… thank you father."

The blonde left the room slowly, but as soon as the door shut, she was running, tears streaming down her face as they started to return. Slowly, but they were coming back.

Memories.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done. Told you it was slightly longer ;) But yeah, I hope you guys liked the way I've set things up so far. By the way, to clarify, Sõma hasn't been told about the accident yet, just that him and Erina met when they were a bit younger. That'll happen next chapter, and boy am I excited to get that one out for you guys. Anyways, that's been me, hope to see you in the next chapter x)

P.S.

Check out my other story for more SoRina mediocreness. It's called a Simple Love, and a new chapter should actually be up in the next few days :heart: