Finally, the time came for Cornelia and Blaise to return to Hogwarts, and Rosalind taught Cornelia spells for making her trunk expansive inside and light to carry, which came in handy as she was going back with twice as many clothes as she had left with. Cornelia struggled to keep up her façade with Blaise that morning, she was itching to get on the train back to the castle and the thought that she would soon see Draco was like a thorn in her side. It made the pretence she kept up with Blaise all that more uncomfortable, the atmosphere feeling more and more unnatural.
Rosalind's gaze that had before felt like a warm ray of sunlight now felt like a security floodlight, a constant reminder of her all-seeing presence. It was unbelievable how much she resembled Uncle Lucius and Aunt Cissy now; if someone would have suggested this would be the case to her a mere week ago, she would have thought they were insane.
On the journey to the castle, Cornelia and Blaise barely exchanged a handful of words, both reading quietly and only chatting briefly when the lunch trolley arrived. To be quite honest, Cornelia couldn't wait to have some space from Blaise and if she wasn't mistaken, she thought he may feel the same way. They had been in each other's pocket's all holiday, and half of that time together had been spent behaving in a way towards each other that didn't feel like their choosing. Cornelia found herself resenting Blaise's presence as it meant that she had to act in a way that very far removed from her normal behaviour, but the strange thing was that neither of them had discussed why they had to act that way. Other than their conversation where Blaise had revealed Rosalind's motives and their half argument the next day, it was like an unspoken rule had been formed that neither of them would discuss the performance they put on in Rosalind's presence. It felt awkward and altogether too private to put into straight words, plus the answer was one all too large and twisted for either of them to really process at such a young age. All they knew was that it was the expected behaviour, and upsetting Rosalind just wasn't an option.
It took all of Cornelia's self-control not to run to the common room once they got out of the carriages that took them from the train station to the castle grounds, but once she was through the doors and greeted by the sight of Draco stood a few feet from the entrance to the common room and anxiously watching the stream of students returning, she couldn't contain herself for any longer. Beaming, she ran to him and threw herself into his arms that were already stretched wide for her. They hugged tightly, and the tension of the past week seemed to travel through her shoulders and slip off her spine, her body relaxing for what felt like the first time since she left. She was overcome with the sensation of arriving home, and it was all wrapped up in the castle walls and Draco himself. It was the longest they had ever been apart.
"Hello!" Draco was chuckling into her hair and Cornelia returned his greeting with a breathy "Hi!" of her own before pulling away and beaming up into his face.
"You look different. Did you do something to your hair?" Draco's hands remained on her shoulders as he observed her, and Cornelia was just happy to be with him again.
"Mrs Zabini gave me some curling tonic." She shrugged, the last thing she wanted to talk about right now was Rosalind.
"It's nice." His hand absentmindedly wandered to her long curls, before he suddenly snapped it back and stepped away from her as if he had been burnt. "So how was Christmas at the Zabini house anyway?" His voice was a lot harder than before and Cornelia was confused by the whiplash of emotions.
She glanced over her shoulder, but Blaise was nowhere to be seen. "A bit weird, I'm glad to be back."
Draco's face brightened at these words, and his wide smile returned. "Did you see any dead husbands?"
Cornelia swatted at his shoulder. "Don't be silly. It was just a bit awkward."
"Did Blaise hit on you?" Something flashed in Draco's eyes, even though his grin remained, but when Cornelia didn't answer straight away it slowly faded from his face. "Did he?!" He pressed and Cornelia quickly shook her head.
"No, nothing like that. Just didn't have much to talk about." But she could see that Draco knew she wasn't telling him something. She was relieved when he dropped it and moved on to the subject of Christmas presents.
The evening passed pleasantly, and Cornelia buried her memories of her time spent at the Zabini house beneath the comfort she felt chatting and being with Draco. When she was alone later that evening, her mind automatically roamed back to Rosalind, and the Christmas break felt even more surreal now she was back in the safety of the castle walls and in her own bed.
The next day she noticed that Draco watched carefully when Blaise and Theodore returned to Cornelia's side, although there wasn't anything to see as her and Blaise still had very little to say to each other. Theodore picked up on the atmosphere, but never one to pry, resorted to watching them whilst carefully providing the conversation.
Something else had changed in Cornelia since her return from the Zabini household that became apparent over the next couple of weeks. At first it was subtle, a drifting of attention during classes, a tired slouch in her shoulders. Soon after this, the drifting of attention became a, more often than not, complete disregard for the lesson and the people within it.
It became obvious firstly during Defence Against the Dark Arts classes, where Cornelia held the least respect for the professor, Gilderoy Lockhart. She would doodle absently in the pages of her notebook, not even attempting to look interested in the lesson, and even laying her head down on her arms and closing her eyes during a couple of them. When Professor Lockhart commented on one of these occasions where Cornelia chose the class as a time to catch up on sleep, her reaction was unexpected and alarming.
"Now, now, Miss Lestrange, whilst I admire your dedication to your beauty sleep, this isn't the time to be dozing off!" Lockhart had called in his cheery voice and winning smile from his desk at the front of the room. His confidence seemed to have returned over the Christmas break.
Cornelia, who hadn't really been asleep, sat up with a loud, exaggerated yawn before replying in a clear and carrying voice "You're just so boring, sir."
Shock rippled through the room with more than a scattering of smothered laughter, Draco included, whilst Theodore's eyes bulged at her.
Lockhart looked taken aback for just a moment before his smile returned, and he forced a laugh. "Ha ha! I think you may find you're quite alone with that opinion!"
"I think you may find that you're quite delusional, sir." Cornelia shot back without missing a beat, her voice and face completely deadpan.
Even Lockhart couldn't immediately recover from the hilarity that followed her words, and he looked quite ruffled, his eyes shifting nervously around the room.
"Ah, careful Miss Lestrange, if you continue I may have to put you in detention." He warned but Cornelia looked like she was enjoying herself now.
"Alright, keep your wig on, sir!"
Lockhart went quite red as shocked "ooooh"'s echoed around the room and everyone in the class turned to watch his reaction.
"Right. Right. Well, that'll be a detention this evening in my office!" He said shrilly before shushing the rest of the class and stammering in his return to reading from one of his autobiographical novels.
Immediately after the lesson Draco had praised her show heavily, along with several other students, whilst Theodore made no mention but simply kept a closer eye on her. However, after a month or so, even Draco was concerned at the drastic change in Cornelia's behaviour.
Her outbursts were no longer contained to DADA classes, which had immediately become a regular occurrence, to the point where she had been told to leave the classroom and not to come back until she could be respectful. She hadn't returned. Miraculously, Professor Lockhart didn't inform Professor Dumbledore about Cornelia's absence; Cornelia suspected is was because it would be too much of a blow to his pride to admit a student willingly skipped his classes.
Where she had previously been studious and well behaved, she was at best negligent and at worst disruptive, and Draco and Theodore weren't alone in noticing the difference.
It would have been easier to bring up if Cornelia wasn't so normal outside of the classes. It was as if she hadn't recognised a difference in her behaviour at all and she was just the same as she had always been with the boys, if anything she seemed happier, quicker to laugh, not as sensitive. Only Theodore noted that there was a slightly manic edge to her laughter or in the quick way she spoke.
Still, it wasn't Theodore who was the first to address the change in Cornelia, nor was it Draco… it was Professor Snape.
They had all been packing up after their final lesson of the day, Potions, when Snape had drifted over to Cornelia, Blaise and Theodore's table in that silent way of his and towered above them all, his beady eyes focused on Cornelia.
"A word please, Lestrange." He had said before sweeping back to his desk at the front of the room.
Cornelia had exchanged wide eyed glances with the boys as they left the room slowly along with the rest of the students. She was running over the lesson in her head, but was struggling to come up with any memorable moments at all, never mind anything she may have done wrong, and found herself a little surprised at how the entire lesson had blurred into a monotonous drone in her mind. She was still struggling to pinpoint what exactly they had been covering during the lesson as she made her way up to Snape who was watching her with his usual unreadable expression.
"Is everything okay, Professor?" She asked politely, her heart speeding up slightly.
"I could ask you the same question. Take a seat."
Confused, Cornelia pulled out the hard wooden chair before his desk and perched on the edge. Dull silence filled the dark room for a few moments before Snape spoke again.
"Well, Lestrange? I asked you if anything was wrong."
Cornelia jolted and she stumbled around for her words. "Y-yes, I mean no Sir. Nothing's wrong."
Snape considered her for a few more moments. "Whilst your performance in my class has never been excellent, it has never been a cause for concern, not until recently. As your Head of House I am required to find out why you aren't working to your usual standard." He said in a slow drawling voice. Another silence followed where Cornelia didn't know what to say, so she said nothing at all. "As it turns out, it is not just I that has noticed this change in you. I have been approached by several other members of staff, some of whom have reported some disturbing accounts of your behaviour within their classrooms."
Cornelia fought the urge to fidget as a wave of understanding washed over her. The rage that she had carried like a torch within her at the Zabini house hadn't blown out like she had expected when she arrived back at Hogwarts. Every day brought a new reminder of Rosalind, Aunt Cissy or Uncle Lucius, keeping it aflame. Professor's orders sounded more and more like the demands her family and trusted adult figures in her life had constantly inflicted her with. Her unquestioning obedience a stark reminder of how much of their expectations she had swallowed and internalised. It all piled up in the pit of her stomach, like piles of broken furniture and logs in preparation for a bonfire.
Sometimes, like when she was faced with the patronising idiot Professor Lockhart, a spark was lit in that bonfire, and she almost couldn't control what came out of her mouth when that happened. It surprised her as much as anyone else, but it also pleased her. It was worth the increase in detentions from the response she saw in their faces in the moment she snapped – their authority challenged – a tough pill to swallow.
Part of her had wondered how far she could push it, how much she could get away with, how much chaos and disruption could she actually be responsible for? It was a question she had never been allowed to ask herself before, never been able to test the boundaries of her Aunt and Uncle where other children tested their own caretakers.
She had been surprised when no one brought it up (and perhaps a little disappointed), not her friends nor the Professor's themselves, and very quickly she forgot that testing boundaries had been one of her main motivations at all; she just enjoyed the thrill of acting out.
Of course most of this reasoning had taken place during a long period of complex and abstract thought processing, it wasn't as black and white in Cornelia's mind. In fact, it was quite the opposite, it was all muddied up in a chaotic angry mess. To Cornelia, she was simply living her life reacting to one stimulus to the next, giving herself over entirely to what her body told her felt good in that moment – anything to relieve some of the constant resentment that she harboured inside her. She had no idea how to express this to Snape. She was angry. She was just angry.
The silence stretched and she could see Snape getting more frustrated at her lack of response by the darkening of his eyes. "I will make this simple for you, Lestrange. Why haven't you been completing your homework for any of your classes?"
"I – I don't know, sir." She said lamely, looking at the floor as her face glowed.
"You don't know?" Snape repeated in his slow fashion. Once again Cornelia didn't respond. "Has something happened at home, with your family?" Some of his frustration was leaking into his voice now.
"No sir."
"With your friends?"
"No."
Snape let out a long sigh. "I'm not about to partake in a guessing game with you, Lestrange, so know this. If I hear of you missing one more piece of homework that has been assigned to you this year, I will be taking you to the headmaster and asking for your suspension myself. Is that clear?"
Cornelia's eyes widened and her heart thrummed loudly in her ears. Suspended from Hogwarts? Sent back to the Malfoy Manor in shame? She physically shuddered at the thought of the fate she would meet there, the beatings she would get from Lucius. She remembered the jealousy and upset she experienced when Draco had been allowed to attend magical theory lessons when she wasn't and imagined how much more intense that would feel as Draco attended Hogwarts when she couldn't.
She was so wrapped up in what the consequences of a suspension or expulsion from Hogwarts could mean that she completely forgot where she was, or that Professor Snape was there in front of her at all. That was until his hand slammed loudly into the desk between them, the thud echoing around the chamber. She jumped out of her skin and cringed away from the noise and his hand; Snape saw the fear on her face and almost, almost, regretted his action.
"I asked you if that was clear! Answer me girl!" He hissed, his eyes narrow and furious.
"Y-yes sir, I will make sure I do all of my homework from now on." She stammered quickly, trying to get the racing of her heart under control without showing her shock on her face. She wasn't very successful.
The silence descended one more time as Snape observed her thoughtfully, his black eyes piercing her dark brown ones, and for a moment she thought that he saw everything with those eyes.
"You may leave." He said eventually, and Cornelia swept quickly from the room, holding her breath all the while. She wasn't entirely surprised to find Draco waiting for her in the dungeon corridors outside, but she was surprised to find Theodore with him, the two of them had only ever probably exchanged a handful of words. Draco thought that Theodore was "creepy" and although he never said it, Cornelia had pretty much gathered that Theodore thought Draco was a bit of an idiot.
"What was that all about?" Draco asked as soon as she closed the classroom door behind her and they set off down the corridor together.
"He was telling me to keep up with my homework." Cornelia said a little bashfully, still very flustered from the ultimatum Snape had given her.
"You've not been doing your potions homework?" Draco asked in a disbelieving voice, nobody dared to skip Snape's assignments.
"Obviously." She snapped.
"She's not been doing any of her homework." Theodore said in a tone that was quiet even by his standards. Cornelia shot him a dark look; the traitor was selling her out! He didn't catch it though, and Cornelia was once again surprised to see Draco and Theodore exchanging worried glances.
"Why Nelly?" Draco asked and the constant simmer of anger inside her spat a little at his concerned tone. It wasn't any of their business why she wasn't doing any of her homework!
"Because I don't want to? What's it to you?"
Draco paused before continuing, and Cornelia could sense that he was trying to step very gently around her. "It's not just homework… you've been acting really different in class for ages. You haven't been to Defence for nearly 3 weeks!"
"So what?" She snarled; she really wasn't in the mood for a second intervention right now.
"We're just worried about you Cornelia." Theodore's meek voice rang out and Cornelia sighed heavily.
"There's nothing to worry about though, I'm fine!"
"You've not been yourself, you've always really enjoyed school." Draco added and whatever little restraint Cornelia possessed snapped. She spun on her heel to face them, throwing her arms in the air and letting out a loud, annoyed shriek.
"Can you both just leave it?! I said I'm fine! How would you like it if I started sticking my nose where it doesn't belong and telling you how you should act?"
Draco and Theodore exchanged yet another look and it did nothing but enrage Cornelia further.
"We're not telling you how to act-"
"SHUT UP THEODORE!" Cornelia's scream echoed through the corridor, bouncing off the hard walls and ground that surrounded them and leaving heavy silence in it's wake. She had never yelled at Theodore before, and he flinched like she had physically hit him. As he stared at her with wide, hurt eyes, hot shame flooded through Cornelia and she shrunk back.
"Nelly…" Draco began to speak, but Cornelia cut him off before he could continue. She didn't want his sympathy or pity.
"Just leave me alone." She spat before turning and running ahead of them to the common room.
What is it? Angst, angst, angst. Teenage Cornelia is fun! Of course it's more than just teen hormones but they're definitely fun to write into the equation. I (and a lot of other HP readers) have realised as I've gotten older and studied a bit of psychology that Harry is ridiculously unaffected by his abusive upbringing. The moodiest we ever see him is in Order of the Pheonix when technically that boi should have bucketloads of behavioural issues. Locked under the stairs for the majority of your childhood? No problem. Perpetually bullied by your caregivers and cousin and not a single friend? All good. Attempted murder on your life every teenage year? Perfect moral compass. Oh and let's not forget that he literally had a soul fragment of one of the most evil human beings on earth locked up in his forehead!
Not on Cornelia's watch. She miiiiight be quite difficult to like over the next few chapters.
But... Prisoner of Azkaban is fast approaching baby! Once again the story speeds up significantly after christmas break because Cornelia has no involvement with the golden trio's adventures (as of yet ;) ), hope ya don't mind! Chamber of Secrets is actually my least favourite book/film and I've really enjoyed writing this so I wonder how much I'm going to enjoy the years to come!
By the way, I've had a little surge in people writing reviews and it makes me so so happy. Thank you to everyone that takes the time to write words of encouragement or how much you're enjoying the story/characters, it honestly makes all the difference to my motivation to write. Thank you, thank you, I'm so pleased you're enjoying the story!
Until next time.