Nikki smiled, Jacks hard warm in her own. It felt different this time, he had held her hand before, but not like this. She knew they had to talk, that she was going to have to face up to her mistakes, but in this moment, quiet, dark, still, everything felt right.
They looked at each other in silence words seeming out of reach to them both, yet so much left unsaid. 'I..' they both started speaking at the same time and let out a small laugh, some of the tension hanging in the air evaporating. It would be so easy to just kiss him, to ignore all the issues and the things needed to be worked through in that moment but she wanted to do this right, this time. No more false starts, no more sex without being sure, no more mistakes. Not with Jack.
Jack looked at her the pain and exhaustion of the day etched on his face 'Let's just sleep' was all he could manage to say, he had so many questions and things he needed to say but after 8 years the idea of having her in his bed, asleep on his chest was all he wanted or needed.
'Jack, I...' Nikki tried again to speak, the pain and love evident in his voice
'sssh' Jack gently pressed his finger on her lips and stroked her cheek, 'tomorrow'.
He got up, gently pulling Nikki with him and leading her to his bedroom, he had barely let himself imagine this before, not wanting to jeopardise their friendship by even beginning to go there. She was with Matt, or at least she had been, for so long that he had to stop himself even beginning to think like that. That was another question, what on earth had happened with Matt? Clearly she hadn't ended it for him, or she wouldn't have slept with Ollie. Even that name made him angry. He felt her hand wrap around his waist and suddenly none of that even mattered any more. Not yet.
Nikki had never been in his room before, despite his house being a pretty regular stop for pizza or a drink in the last few months this was new territory. She smiled, it was so Jack, still undecorated-that hadn't been his priority-but tidy, homely, and it smelt of him.
'Do you have a side?' She asked
Jack laughed 'yeah, and don't think I'm giving it up for you' even in their exhaustion she could always rely on him to make her laugh.
They caught each other eyes as they realised neither one of them really wanted to sleep in the clothes they had been wearing all day.
'You want a t shirt?' Jack offered
'Yeah, that would be great, thanks' Nikki took it from him, it was soft and a deep blue, and smelt of him. She went to take off her dress, creased from the sofa, and caught Jack's eye, it felt like it should be awkward, but for some reason this felt like the most natural thing in the world to her. Like they had seen each other change a thousand times before. His body was muscular, yet somehow to her Jack always seemed soft, she saw beneath the exterior instantly, she knew him.
Jack swallowed as she changed in to his top, oversized on her small frame, and stripped to his boxers. She was beautiful, he had always known that of course, but this was another level, she was perfect.
They crawled into Jacks bed, and exhaustion took over them both. Nikki rested her head on his chest as his fingers stroked her back and hers stroked his chest. He placed a kiss on her forehead, and one, just the smallest peck on her lips. In the morning, with the light of day, would come all the figuring out, but this here, despite the rocky road that had led them there, was perfect.