Ashley couldn't understand why her stomach hurt every time she looked at Leon, why it felt like her guts were being twisted whenever their eyes met. She couldn't understand why she wanted to puke every time he smiled at another girl, why she cheered to herself every time he got turned down.
Or at least, that was what she told herself. She'd thought that coming back home and getting back to her normal life would be all she needed to get over the little savior's crush she'd had on him, and for a while, it had seemed like that would be the case.
But then she'd overheard him talking with her father's head of security, about reports of an agent who seemed to switch loyalties on a whim, how she had the tendency to pop up when Leon was involved in a case. All it had taken was the mention of a red dress, and she had known exactly who they were talking about.
Ashley had gone to her father's room that same night, begged him to tell her everything he knew about that woman. As usual, it hadn't taken him long to relent, and he had explained it all. Ada Wong had first met Leon in Raccoon City, giving him the cover story of looking desperately for her boyfriend. Of course, what she'd really been after had been samples of the T-virus, information on the development that went to an unknown boss. It had been the same story in Spain, only with collecting specimens of the las plagas parasite. Her current whereabouts were unknown, and there was still no intel on who she might possibly work for.
Almost as an afterthought, her father had added that, the few times Leon had spoken of her, it had been with respect, even with his history of being used by her. Ashley had thanked him, hugged him, then gone back to her room, her head swimming with the information he had given her.
"She's like a part of me I can't let go, let's leave it at that."
That was all Leon had said when she'd asked, and she was sure it had good deal to do with how she felt now. If only there were a way to bring it up with him, without coming across as desperate or overbearing, though she doubted he'd say anything even if she ordered him to.
She knew very well that she could, given he was part of the team working directly for her father, but also that she could never take advantage of that fact. She also knew how he must see her, and she felt it was no wonder that he was stuck on a woman like Ada. At least she could take care of herself.
And here I am, Ashley stared down blankly at her feet, at the black suede boots her father had bought to replace the brown ones that had been ruined in Spain. She was just a spoiled little rich girl, how could she ever think she had a chance with a guy like Leon? I can barely go ten steps without falling all over myself…
As if on cue, her foot caught on a fold in the elaborate runner, sending her crashing to the floor. Groaning, she held her sore stomach as she got to her knees, freezing when she saw a familiar pair of buffed black loafers. She followed the line of fitted navy slacks, matching jacket and crisp white button-up shirt. Sky blue eyes gazed back at her, the lean, handsome face unreadable as always, his blond hair in that same asymmetrical cut. He knelt down and took her elbow, helping her back to her feet.
"You okay?"
As always, his deep, smooth voice sent a shock down her spine, but this time there was none of the joy that had often come with it.
"Yeah," she said shortly, pulling away as quickly as she could without seeming rude. He wore the fingerless black riding gloves he had in Spain, though now his holster was hooked under his jacket, as opposed to his thigh. "Thanks."
She stomped on the fold in the rug, still holding her stomach as she walked past him, staring at the floor. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to follow or not, but it didn't surprise her when his hurried footsteps stopped at her side. No doubt he'd noticed how differently she'd acted toward him of late, ever since she had learned the truth about Ada. She heard him start to speak, kept her gaze averted, even when he took her arm again, checking to see that whatever room he brought her to was empty before he pulled her inside.
He shut the door behind them, and she was surprised that she couldn't bring herself to care why he suddenly wanted to speak to her alone.
"You've changed, Ashley," he stated the obvious. She snorted.
"Really? I didn't notice. Maybe it's the fact I was kidnapped and turned into a psychotic science project by some robed freaks!"
His lips twitched the slightest bit, and his eyes narrowed a little.
"You were still pretty peppy after we got back," he reminded her. "While you were dealing with therapy and night terrors. This is recent."
She rolled her eyes. Had it really taken him this long to notice?
"I don't see why you'd care, you made it pretty clear that I'm just a job to you."
He definitely winced now, even if he did school it off his face pretty quickly. It hadn't been anything to do with him turning down her silly suggestion of 'overtime', it was that he hardly looked at her, hardly spoke to her, acted like he'd rather be anywhere else whenever he'd been assigned as her personal guard for the day. Her anger only got worse when he didn't say anything, his silence was answer enough.
"I don't know why you even took this job," she continued. "Why don't you just go work with Ada if she means so much to you?"
He gaped at her, and she felt a hard, bitter smile stretch her lips.
"Yeah, I know everything about her, Leon," she went on. "How she's done nothing but lie to, use and manipulate you since the day you met. Yet you're somehow still stuck on her. So I'll ask again, why'd you take this job when it's obvious you'd much rather work with her?"
He stepped back against the door, staring at her like she'd just slapped him across the face. But then he clamped his mouth shut, fists tight at his sides as he squared his shoulders.
"Because she doesn't give a damn who she works for," he started firmly. "It doesn't matter how many people they've hurt, or what they're planning to do with the samples she gives them. I couldn't ever work with her."
She pressed her lips together.
"But you're still stuck on her," she couldn't stop the words from coming out. "I thought you were smarter than that, Leon. She helps harm people and you've always done everything you can to protect her. It doesn't seem to matter what she does."
He didn't have anything to say to that, either; the fact she was right hurt even more than she'd thought it would. She pulled in a breath, held it before slowly sighing.
"I'm just saying that you don't seem to know where your loyalties lie. What if Ada's next plan involves me getting kidnapped again? Would you still rescue me, while also helping her accomplish whatever she'd set out to do? Would you care if I ended up dead because you chose her?"
His face was inscrutable this time, and she found that cut deeper than his open shock. She sighed again, moved to walk past him, didn't expect him to grab her wrist.
"Let go of me, Leon," she ordered, trying to twist free. She usually loved his strength, but not anymore. "I said let go!"
He did, backing away when she spun to face him. He met her angry stare evenly, his own face still emotionless. But she could see the war waging in his eyes, not that it gave her any more insight into what he was thinking. Why had he stopped her if he wasn't going to say anything?
"I think it'd be best if you turned it down next time you're up to be my bodyguard," she said at last. "I don't know if I can really trust you anymore…"
She dodged his hand when he reached for her again, blinking back tears as she threw the door open and sprinted down the hall. She managed to make it to her room before tripping, laying on the floor with her face buried in her arms. She hated that part of her longed to hear him knock on the door, ask if he could come in so they could talk.
She remembered the first few weeks home, how he'd had to camp out on the couch on the other side of her giant bedroom just so she could sleep. How he'd shaken her awake from the worst of the nightmares, held her when she'd pressed her face to his chest, sobbing in terror, his quiet voice gently reminding her that the people who'd taken her were gone, she was safe.
At least until he'd started treating her like a burden, just like most of the people in her life. Was she really that obnoxious, that useless? Could whatever was wrong with her be fixed?
I don't even care anymore, she decided, choking on a sob. But even as she thought it, she knew it was a lie.
Ashley didn't realize she had passed out until a soft knocking woke her, and she craned her neck toward her nightstand, the red numbers on the alarm clock telling her it was almost three in the morning. The quiet tapping continued as, stiff and sore, she pulled herself back to her feet, not bothering to straighten out her appearance before she went to the door.
Her eyes narrowed when she saw Leon stood there, dressed in close-fitting gray sweats, hastily tied white sneakers and a loose green T-shirt. His hair was a mess, the only time she had ever seen it unkempt. She didn't know why she stood aside to let him in—maybe it was the rarely seen tension in his shoulders, the storm in his eyes when she had whipped the door open.
"It's late," she started simply, shutting it behind her. "What are you even doing here?"
He scratched the back of his head, rolled his neck, his other hand tapping restlessly at his thigh. She stayed wary as she walked to her bed and sat down, crossing her arms as she waited for him to respond. She didn't have to wait long.
"I thought about what you said, Ashley," he blurted, his voice smooth as always. "All of it."
She snorted, but let him continue.
"The truth is I'm terrible with women, and I'd just been dumped when I met Ada. I was in a vulnerable place, and she took advantage of it," he groaned, as though disgusted with himself. "I was stuck thinking I'd watched her die in Raccoon City, only for her to show up again a few years later."
She had to bite her lip to keep from snapping at him to get to the point.
"After that, I couldn't stop thinking she was the woman for me, since she was the only one who hadn't outright rejected me," he chuckled, but there wasn't much humor in it. "I knew what she was up to, what she was about, I guess I'd just blinded myself to how much damage she was actually doing. The truth is I never really knew anything about her, I can't even confirm if 'Ada Wong' is her real name."
He sighed heavily, the hand that had gripped the back of his hair falling limply to his side. It was the first time she had ever seen him vulnerable, that he had truly let down his shields.
"I hadn't realized how badly I was deluding myself about her until you said something, how I'd been willing to help her no matter what the hell she did," his fist tightened. "I forced myself to think about every time she'd shown up, how she'd always played everyone around her, including me. I had to accept that she just wasn't the woman I'd let myself believe she was."
He looked her full in the face for the first time that night, his own more open than Ashley had ever seen it. He was telling the truth.
"I guess we're in the same boat in that way," she started. "Sort of. My mom died when I was born, and Dad couldn't bring himself to marry again, so I was stuck being raised by nanny after nanny."
She pulled her knees to her chest, then shrugged.
"They either couldn't handle the pressure of raising a senator's kid, or they started trying for their fifteen minutes of fame with the paparazzi. Either way, none of them stuck around long, and my dad was so busy that he forgot I existed sometimes."
It was her turn to choke on a joyless laugh.
"Eventually, I got the idea that people only cared about me when they were paid to, I even tried to buy some friends in school," another laugh, now edged in tears. "Which worked as well as you can expect."
She felt those tears start to spill down her cheeks, heard the soft sound of his footsteps on the carpet, the small creak of springs as he sat beside her on the bed. He took her hand, gently tilting her face toward him, his touch soothing on her damp skin. He spent a long moment just looking at her, then the faintest smile appeared on his face.
"You're more than just a job to me, Ashley," he admitted at last. "I'd just blinded myself to the idea a woman could give a damn about me without wanting something."
She giggled, putting a hand over his on her cheek.
"I do want something, though, Leon," she told him. "I want you."
He chuckled, then suddenly stood, pulling her with him. He hugged her tightly, his heart thudding against her ear as she laid her head on his chest.
"Thank you for giving me a chance," he whispered into her hair. She looked up at him, licked her lips as her gaze drifted to his, gripping his shirt as she slowly pushed herself to her toes. Her first kiss since high school, and it was with someone as perfect as Leon Kennedy. Her fingers tightened on the wrinkled fabric, and she shivered as his hands slipped down her sides, grabbing her hips to pull them flush against his.
He definitely knew what he was doing, gently teasing apart her lips with his tongue, his calloused fingers pressing into her skin just hard enough to cause a rush of pleasure. She pushed her hands slowly up his chest, then draped her arms around his neck, savoring the feeling of having every inch of her body pressed up against his.
"I really like you, Leon," she whispered when he pulled back to breathe. The small, hot huffs of air wafting across her cheeks smelled like cinnamon, with a hint of the French vanilla coffee she had introduced him to. She couldn't tell whose heart was pounding faster, hers or his. He smiled tenderly, laying his forehead on hers.
"I like you, too, Ashley," he said softly, then the smile faded. "I'm sorry it took me so long to accept it."
He swept her off her feet and sat back on the bed, this time with her nestled in his lap. He cradled the back of her head when he kissed her this time, and it was all she could do to not melt into a puddle at his feet. She let her fingers slip beneath the collar of his shirt, his skin heated in a way she hadn't thought possible. He moaned into her mouth, his grip tightening on her hair as his other hand followed the curve of her hip to her butt. She gasped as she ended it, knew her face was flushed as she stared at him.
"So…where do we go from here," she asked quietly, her voice tinged with longing. "What happens next?"
He smiled slightly, glanced over her head at the clock on her nightstand. Not much time had passed at all.
"I got a lot of weird looks when I showed up like this," he admitted. "I think they all assumed you'd called because of another nightmare, I learned for myself they never really go away."
His smile widened, just a bit.
"Yeah, I still get them once in a while, too," he continued. "Everything that had gone wrong, everything that could have, having to watch everyone I know turn into all the monsters I've dealt with."
He actually shuddered, his arms tightening around her as he shook the images away.
"But they're a small price to pay for all the lives I've saved, all the world-wide disasters I've helped prevent."
He looked at her again, his eyes tender and warm.
"I also got to meet you," he finished. "You really are something else, Ash."
She blushed, and he kissed her forehead.
"I've never said it before, but I'm really proud of you, Ashley, you survived something a lot of civilians wouldn't, and you didn't let it slow you down."
She giggled self-consciously.
"I knew shutting the world out wouldn't change what happened, so I thought the best way to deal with it was to keep going like I normally do, at least once we knew all the threats had been dealt with."
She hid a yawn with her hand, and it wasn't long before he did the same.
"You still have some clothes stashed in my closet," she revealed. "So how about you just stay the rest of the night?"
He smiled properly this time, resting his forehead against hers.
"Perfect."