Okay, my once a month update, and I have to say one thing, PLEASE tone down the PM requests, the reason being? Because of this piece of shit chapter, I tried to make it make sense, but I would need to add a lot more background, and I did this one as a favor, and I just really couldn't do Mel Brooks justice.

Anyways, I've been really busy, and most of my effort has been going towards Out of Place and college.

This chapter was supposed to be a reaction to Restart Chapter 2, but unforturantely my computer crashed, and every single shred of writing I had disappeared for good, its not recoverable.

So I had to start it over again, and I had this in cold storage.

So this is not my favorite chapter, mostly because I rushed this just to put something out.

Anyways, next chapter SHOULD be Restart Chapter 2 reaction.

"Soooo…" Everyone thought the music video scene was kind of weird.

"Yeah, what do you think is next?" Weiss asked.

"I don't know, probably nothing as weird as that." Yang said as the screen switched to a scene.

A giant spaceship was following behind what appeared to be a space car.

"WOAH! COOL!" Ruby awed at the sight of a space ship.

"Wait a second, is that a car?" Coco asked as that was confusing.

"Yeah it is! What is a car doing in space?" Even Sun was confused by that one.

"Lord Helmet! We have the Princess in sight!" Colonel Qrow said as he turned to a short figure in a black suit of armor.

His helmet was disproportiante to the rest of his suit, and for some reason, he had a tie on. Was he the villain?

"Good! Fire a warning shot across her nose!" Lord Helmet said as they complied.

"What kind of name is Lord Helmet?" Yang asked as everyone was confused.

"Does anyone else notice that his tie kind of look like a penis?" Sun pointed to the odd chest shape.

Sure enough, the tie looked like a penis, while the collar had two round objects on it which looked like a pair of balls.

"Well this is certainly odd." Glynda saw no reason to worry just yet.

BA DOOM BA DOOM!

Lasers fired from the main ship as they whizzed by the small car.

"WOAH! WHATS THAT?!" Princess Weiss asked as she was just trying to run away from her wedding.

"Hey! Weiss!" Ruby said as somehow, nobody was surprised that Weiss was the rich person driving the fancy spaceship.

"Why is Weiss wearing a wedding dress?" Yang asked as they took a closer look.

"Hey yeah! She is! Does she have a wedding to get to?" Velvet asked as Qrow mumbled.

"Either way, or one to get away from…." He took a swig of whiskey.

Oum knows he knew that kind of situation very well.

"Either it's the fourth of july! Or someone is trying to kill us!" Her robot companion and best friend Penny Polendina said as the explosions surrounded the car.

Lasers continued to fire as Weiss was regretting putting the car on auto pilot! Was this really happening right now? She turned to look out her rear view window. And her eyes widened as she realized what was going on.

This wasn't some random bandit, no these were some of the most feared villains in the universe.

"Spaceballs!"

"Spaceballs?" Pyrrha thought the name was a bit ridiculous.

"Why do they call them Spaceballs?" Nora asked as it was a funny name.

"Because….Because…" Qrow honestly couldn't think of an answer.

"Maybe they live in balls…in space." Blake suggested as that was the best she could do.

"Or they have balls?" Sun put that out there.

"Hey! I don't have to put up with this! I'm rich!" Weiss said as she pulled out her scroll.

"Wow, a rich girl mentioning money, what are the odds?" Neptune teased as Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Shut up Neptune." She said as she honestly wasn't sure if she should be surprised.

"Somehow this Weiss seems even brattier." Yang said as Weiss looked offended.

"HEY!"

"Who are you calling?" Penny asked as Weiss was panicking.

"My father! 1-800-ATLAS." She was typing out the phone number really quick.

The lasers continued to fire, but the camera quickly switched back to the interior of the spaceship.

Only for Lord Helmet to lift his visor up, revealing a young face and blond hair.

"Careful you idiot! I said across his nose! Not up it!" He yelled at the gunner.

"Hey! Jaune!" Ruby waved at the Jaune on screen.

"Why is he wearing that ridiculous outfit?" Coco honestly didn't like it, especially with that dorky looking helmet.

"And….why is he so short?" Glynda knew the Arc boy was tall, so why did he seem so much smaller than Qrow.

"Why does he want Weiss?" Pyrrha asked as Weiss looked back.

"You're joking? He's been pining after me since day one!" Weiss knew that because she had to deal with his annoying flirting attempts.

The gunner turned around and lifted his visor.

"Sorry thir…doing my best." He slurred out as his eyes were crossed.

Suddenly Arc Helmet felt like a bit of a douche.

"Who made that man a gunner?" He asked as he couldn't believe they let a cross eye guy be a gunner.

"I agree, who thought that was a good idea?" Goodwitch didn't mean to offend, but that just simply did not make sense.

"I can of feel bad for almost laughing." Yang felt like she was laughing at a disabled guy.

"Still though, who would put someone with crossed eyes in charge of a turret?" Weiss knew if anyone in the military ever tried that, they would be fired.

"Perhaps these Spaceballs have inefficient leadership." Ozpin said as he couldn't figure out any other reason that would happen.

"I DID SIR! HE'S MY COUSIN!" Another cross eyed commander said as Helmet felt even worse.

"Wow, you can put family in those positions of responsibility? No questions asked?" Ruby asked as she couldn't believe it.

"The Schnee do it all the time." Weiss knew from experience.

"But, I mean…I don't want to be a jerk but..he's crosseyed…" Coco was pointing out trying not to sound insensitive.

"Who is he?" Arc Helmet asked as Colonel Qrow spoke up.

"He's an asshole Sir."

"I KNEW THAT! What's his name!"

"That is his name Sir, Asshole, Major Asshole." Qrow rolled his eyes.

"Wait, seriously?" Yang was dumbfounded as she started to giggle.

"I could make puns for days and still not top that." She said as that was really bad luck.

"Wow, poor guy, his name is Asshole." Meanwhile Sun and Neptune were laughing.

"Oh geez! And he's a Major Asshole!" They couldn't believe how unlucky you had to be to earn that Rank.

It would be like having your first name be Harry, and your last name dick, and your rank was Major, so it was Major Harry Dick.

Arc Helmet looked a bit disturbed that someone would actually willingly use Asshole as their last name. Why didn't they just change it? That made no sense.

"And his cousin?" He asked hoping he would be proven wrong.

"He's an asshole too sir, Gunners mate first class Philip Asshole." Colonel Qrow stated as Arc Helmet couldn't believe this.

"How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow?!" He yelled out as he heard a chorus.

"YO!"

He turned to see that pretty much every single man and woman in his command center except for a select few had stood up and raised their hands.

"Woah…" Ruby said as that was a lot of people.

"What a bunch of Assholes." Coco said as she couldn't believe how many there were.

"They must reproduce like rabbits…" Sun said as the teams were stunned as Qrow drunkenly said something else under his breath.

"If they stuck it in the asshole, they wouldn't have this problem." Qrow mumbled to himself.

"….I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes." Arc Helmet said as he rolled his eyes and pulled his visor back down.

"Keep firing assholes!"

BOOM BOOM BOOM

"Daddy Please! There's explosions everywhere! I'm scared!" Weiss cried into the phone.

"Wow Weiss, this you is a scaredy cat!" Yang said as Weiss glared.

"Hey! There is a giant ship behind me shooting lasers!" She tried to defend herself.

"And you're calling your father…Daddy…" Blake noticed she was acting like a child.

"You know what?! NEEEHHH!" She took a page out of Ruby's book and stuck her tongue out.

Meanwhile, the scene changed to a different area. And they saw what appeared to be a flying trailer.

They believed it was a Mistralbago.

"King Jacques to Neptune! King Jacques to Neptune! Are you there!" A voice yelled as it went to the inside of the vehicle.

Two people were sitting in the front seats of the ship, one was a regular human with blue hair and a ratty looking jacket, while the other was a Honkey. Half human, half monkey.

"Woah! Take a look at me!" Sun said as he had a lot more animal traits.

"Dude, your eye and half of your face look like a monkey! And look at your tail!" Somehow it had grown bigger.

"This is kind of cool!" Sun said to himself as he liked what he saw.

"Neptune! You have to help me! Please save my daughter! She's being attacked by Spaceballs!"

"SPACEBALLS? Forget it, too dangerous, besides I'm already Numero uno on Arc Helmet's hit list." Neptune said to himself.

"What did you do to piss him off in the first place?" Sun said to his partner.

"I don't know, do you remember?" Neptune asked as neither one could remember.

"I don't know, but it must have been something bad." Sun said as they turned back to King Jacques.

"Look, the point is we can't do it, way too dangerous."

"Please I implore you! I'll give you anything!" King Jacques said as they perked up.

"Are..Neptune and Sun bounty hunters or something?" Coco asked as she couldn't figure it out.

"I don't know, maybe we're heroes?" Sun said as Weiss blushed a bit.

"Is Neptune going to be my hero?" She smiled a bit at the thought.

"Okay, we'll save her for a million Spacelien."

"A MILLION?!" The king was pissed.

"Ooh, sorry, breaking up, we're losing picture!" Sun taunted as King Jacques panicked.

"Okay okay! One million space lien! Just please save her!" Jacques was worried sick.

"YOU DICK!" Weiss punched Neptune in the arm.

"Owww!" He said as he couldn't believe he got punched.

"What? You can't expect him to go through all that trouble for nothing Ice queen." Qrow pointed out as Weiss glared.

"I guess I just assumed Chivalry was still alive!" Weiss couldn't believe Neptune was in it for the money.

"Heh heh, Chivalry is dead, and women killed it."

"What was she in?" Sun asked he held up a notepag.

"A brand new Dustmobile limited edition sports ship, really nice model, you know the one that comes with heated seats? My cousin is a dealer, he's really nice to me." King Jacques was losing the subject.

"Okay, so where is she now?" Neptune asked.

"She was last seen around Jupiter 2! Please save her…and…if its possible, try and save the car." He cut out the feed.

"Wow dad, really? The car?" Weiss deadpanned.

"Well, it is an expensive car princess." Blake said as Yang spoke up.

"A car that can fly in space!" Now that sounded awesome.

"One million Space Lien! We'll be able to pay off Junior the whopper!" Sun looked really excited.

A picture of a man in a business suit made out of hamburger meat and buns appeared in a flashback.

"Give me some monkey love!" Neptune said as they started high fiving.

"Junior the whopper?" Yang squinted at the picture.

"Wait a minute, as in Junior's nightclub?" She asked as she recognized the attire.

"What the hell is up with his face?" Ruby asked as Qrow actually looked a little hungry.

"He's…made out of burger…" Neptune suddenly didn't feel like eating meat.

"Eeewww." Weiss suddenly didn't want to eat beef.

"Do you think he could eat himself?" Nora asked as everyone gave her a weird look.

"What? If he's made out of burger, couldn't he eat himself?" Nora asked as everyone shrugged.

"It's possible, but wouldn't that be painful?" Velvet pointed out.

"Engage the magnetic tractor beam!" Arc Helmet ordered as a beam of light shot out to the flying space car.

"Huh? What's going on? We're not moving!" Weiss said as Penny looked back.

"Oh we're moving alright! Backwards!" Penny said as another ship was closing in.

"There they are Sun!" Neptune pointed at the space car.

"Oh no! Spaceballs! We're too late! And they're already in the magnetic field! Oh well, tough shit, I'll just turn this around and get-" he was cut off by Neptune.

"No! Sun! Bad! Bad monkey!" He put a hand gently on him.

Almost like he was touching his lover's hand.

"Wait…are Sun and Neptune…gay?" Weiss asked as she suddenly blushed.

"No way! We're just bros man!" Sun said as he hugged Neptune gently.

"Uh…do Bros hug like that?" Velvet asked as Ren, Coco, and Qrow all nodded.

"All the time, it's not gay when you're with your bros." Qrow said as that was the bro code.

Just like it's only gay if you take your socks off.

"Is no one going to talk about the fact that Sun was willing to just leave them to die?" Ruby asked as she felt like she was the only one to notice.

"Why are we risking our lives for a runaway princess! I know we need the money but-" He was cut off by Neptune.

"We're not just doing this for money!"

"See! Neptune does have a shred of honor in him! Maybe I judged too soon, maybe he really is good at hea-" Weiss was cut off by the next line.

"We're doing it for a shit load of money!" Neptune said with a grin.

"Wow…I…I don't believe it…" She said as she glared at Neptune.

"Hey! It's the other me! Come on! Cut me some slack!"

"Awww, you're right! And when you're right you're right! And you? You're always right!" Sun said with a happy grin on his face.

"Wow, kind of a change in attitude there." Sun was kind of happy.

"Oh silly! Flattery will get you nowhere!" Neptune was basking in the compliments that on screen Sun was giving him.

"Geez, don't get your ego too big." Weiss rolled her eyes.

This was the guy she liked?

"Okay, so we save her, but how? The minute we fly in there, they're going to get us on their radar?" Sun said as Neptune grinned.

"Uh uh." He said as Sun looked confused.

"Uh huh!" He replied.

"Uh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"UH UH! Not if we jam it!" Suddenly Sun grinned at that.

"AH HA! YOU'RE RIGHT!"

"DOWN SCOPE!" Neptune yelled.

"DOWN SCOPE!" Sun said as a periscope came down.

"Ah I see, they're going to blow up the radar dish!" Ruby said as that made sense.

Sun zeroed in on the satellite dish, the one that was in charge of monitoring all possible incoming spacecraft. It was actually a very sophisticated piece of tech.

"Radar….about to be….JAMMED!" He pressed a button.

And a jar of Jam was sent flying towards the Satellite dish.

"WAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!" Ruby got a weird look on her face as they literally jammed the radar.

"Did…Did that just happen?" Weiss rubbed her eyes, only to see that the Dish was indeed jammed.

"Oh that is the dumbest thing ever!" Yang was laughing too hard.

"Great, we have tweedle dee and tweedle dumb ass in charge of rescuing me! I'm screwed!" Weiss said to herself.

Meanwhile, on the inside of Spaceball One. A orange haired worker was at her desk eating a bunch of pancakes as she monitored the Radar.

Only to see that the screen started to act up. She thought it was nothing, but then it started making weird noises. And the next thing she knew, it was completley gone.

"What the?" She said as she didn't know what went wrong.

She picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Sir?" A weird squeaky voice said over the intercom.

"What?" Colonel Qrow said as he looked back.

"Can I talk to Arc Helmet please sir?" The squeaky voice said as they both walked over to her.

"What is it?" Colonel Qrow asked.

"Having trouble with the radar sir." Spaceball Nora spoke into the intercom.

"You don't need that, we're right here, what do you need?" He asked as she spoke again.

"Having trouble with the radar sir." The same squeaky voice came out as Jaune threw a fit.

He threw the intercom off the desk, along with some of the pancakes, and a few binders.

"Well that was an overreaction." Glynda said as Mr. Arc looked pissed off.

"Well, that voice was annoying." Ozpin said as that was ridiculous.

"NOW WHAT IS IT?!"

"I'm having trouble with the radar sir!" Nora said as they both looked confused.

"Whats wrong?"

"I lost the bleeps, the sweeps, and I lost the creeps!" Nora said as both looked confused.

"The what?" Ruby asked.

"And the what?" Weiss asked.

"And the what?" Velvet asked as she didn't understand it.

Almost as if Nora was answering them.

"You know! The bleeps! Boop! Boo boooop! Booo boooop!" She made a weird noise with her mouth.

"The sweeps! Wjenowjnosndnsodfnsnvianfviansialjnfvioasnfvi." She started moving her mouth in a weird way.

"And the creeps. Squeaky squeak squueeaaakky squeak." Nora said as Arc looked at Colonel Qrow.

"That's not all she's lost…"

"Hey! I understood her perfectly well!" Nora tried to defend herself.

"You would." Everyone else said.

"Sir! The Radar sir! It appears to be…" Nora got a horrifed look on her face.

"JAMMED!" Someone had dared used Jam!

They couldn't use Maple Syrup like a civilized person!

"Jammed…" Arc had a sneaky suspicion.

He stuck a finger out and licked up the Jam that was leaking onto the computer screen.

His eyes narrowed in anger.

"Raaasspberry…" He glared at the screen.

"Whats wrong with Raspberry?" Yang asked as Blake turned to her.

"Don't you remember?" She asked as Pyrrha spoke up.

"Jaune..HATES raspberries." She knew, she saw him go on a rant about how Raspberries suck, and blueberries are better.

"Well this world doesn't make any sense! We saw them take out a radar dish with a jar of JAM!" Weiss didn't understand the logic.

"There is only one man that would DARE give me the raspberry!" Jaune flipped his visor down as the camera closed in.

"NEPTUNE!" The camera got even closer.

CRASH

Jaune fell back as the impact from the camera caused him to stumble because of the concussion he got from the force of the camera in his face.

"Wait, what?" Weiss was confused.

"Did…Did he just get hit by the camera?" Yang was starting to think this was a movie.

"OH! They're actors!" That made a lot more sense.

"But how are they in space?" Ren asked as Velvet spoke up.

"Space actors?" She asked as they shook their heads.

"I don't know, this just seems kind of forced."