So I was watching a movie I hadn't seen in awhile. So decided to do this chapter. I hope I'm not hte only one who knows this movie.

Anyways, for those of you who may call this homophobic for whatever reason, I'm Bi myself. And I don't give a fuck about gay jokes, gay jokes are fun!

Anyways, enough of me trying to force that down your throat.

"Guys, have you noticed a pattern here?" Yang asked her compatriots.

"What do you mean?" Blake asked her secret lesbian lover.

"Well, usually we get a few tragic realities, and then some fun happy ones, so we just went through two tragic realities, that must mean something good is coming up right?" She made a very good point.

"Oh thank Oum! I don't think I could handle seeing Jaune eat a human leg again!" Ruby was still squeamish over that.

Goodwitch was PRAYING that she would never see that again.

"Well what do you think we could get next?" Pyrrha was really hoping something fun.

"Oh just fucking great." A young but still fat Professor Port said as he was at his high school reunion.

He couldn't believe his best friend and roommate Nora dragged him along to their high school reunion just so she could have a chance to flirt with her old crush.

"Woah! Professor Port is young!" Yang couldn't believe it.

"You know, despite being fat….he does have a handsome face…" Weiss couldn't BELIEVE she actually said that.

"Yes….Peter was actually handsome in his youth." Glynda saw some old photos. And though she would never admit it, he had a cute face.

Granted, she was surprised to see that she was roommates with Port in this.

"Why are they at a high school reunion?" Ozpin was confused.

"Maybe they're chaperones?"

"No, I think he was clearly complaining about being at HIS high school reunion."

He turned to a blond younger man right next to him as he was sipping on his apple martini and looking like he really had no interest in the place around him. Maybe he was also dragged here by an old friend and didn't want to be here.

"Hey dude." Port said to the young blond man.

"Hello, whats up?" The blond man said as he turned to look at Peter.

"Oh wow! Jaune has the bad boy look going on!" Yang gave a cat call as she couldn't believe he looked this good.

"Well, I will admit, he does look handsome." Pyrrha purred as everyone knew about her attraction to the blond boy at this point.

"We get it! He looks handsome!" Ren was getting irritated with the looks he was getting.

"Oh come on Ren, nothing wrong with admiring the view!" Nora could admit her team leader looked hot.

"Oh you know, just watching my roommate depseratly try to hit on her old crush." Port said as the younger man scoffed.

"Oooh, that is so fucking sad." He took another sip of his martini.

"Yeah so….who are you?" Port didn't see a nametape on his chest.

"Oh don't worry, I wasn't in your class." The young man said as he held out a hand.

"Jaune Arc."

"Peter Port."

"Pleasure."

"So what brings you here?"

"Oh I came here with someone who went to school here."

"Oh really who?"

"That man, Lie Ren over there." Jaune pointed as Port got excited.

"Oh no shit?! That's who my friend is hitting on right now!"

"Oh boy, talk about awkward, seems like Jaune is going to help Port make fun of Nora here."

"I doubt he will do that." Glynda rolled her eyes.

"So does anyone else find it funny that Nora has a crush on Ren just like in real life?" Yang asked as Nora glared.

"WOAH! We're not together together!"

"Uh huh sure, we all know it, just admit it."

"Shut up!"

"The one dressed like Glynda Goodwitch? The famous pop star?" Jaune asked.

"I'm a pop star in this?" Glynda couldn't believe it.

"Huh, I can't see it."

"Can you sing Miss Goodwitch."

"….."

"Why so quiet?"

"Glynda can sing but she has stage fright." Ozpin sipped his coffee.

"…Bullshit, no way!" Ruby couldn't believe the hunttress could have stage fright.

"….It's a very common problem…" Glynda admitted.

"You kill Grimm…"

"Yes, but performing in front of people is scary." She wasn't proud but it was her greatest fear.

"Yeah that's her." The scene cut to them.

Only to see Nora making finger guns and making a much taller and buffer Lie Ren laugh.

"OMG! HE'S GORGEOUS!" Nora suddenly had heart eyes as she saw Ren somehow got more handsome in his older years.

And he had a nice bit of stubble! And long flowing silky hair! And his pink eyes looked sooooooo

"Nora, you're drooling." Pyrrha smirked as now Nora knew how she felt about Jaune looking really sexy.

"Gods! How do they both look that handsome! It shoud be impossible!" Weiss wasn't one to admit Jaune had his redeeming qualities. But right now he looked really…REALLY hot.

"I wouldn't mind going out with either one of them now…" Yang purred as she liked what she saw.

"In Atlas, we call them Hollywood girls." Jaune took another sip.

"Oh Atlas? What do you do?"

"I'm an actor." Jaune said as he took another sip.

"Oh wow! Really! That's cool!" Port was jealous.

"Oooohhh! Jaune is an actor! Must be an action movie star!" Nora knew it had to be that.

"Nah, Jaune is probably a dramatic actor." Weiss said hoping he was in those kinds of movies.

"I hope he is in Romantic comedies!" Pyrrha had hearts in her eyes as she hoped that she was his leading lady in those movies.

"Naaahhh, I'm thinking horror movies, that deep voice is kind of intimidating." Blake said as they got back to watching it.

"Oh cool, what kind of movies?"

"Well….movies with an all male cast…" Jaune didn't know how to break this to him.

"Oh, you mean like Ozpin and Qrow in "Fist fight of ages"?" Jaune remembered that latest action movie.

"All male cast?" Glynda was confused.

"Yep got to be an action movie. Probably like the expendables or something." Yang was certain of it.

"Well that's cool! I want to see Jaune in a movie!" Ruby piped up.

"More like….Ozpin sticks his meaty cock into Qrow's eager mouth." Jaune admitted.

….

….

….

"Uhm…I don't think I heard that right?" Pyrrha rubbed her ears.

"Uhm, yeah, we must have imagined it right?" Glynda was hoping she didn't hear that.

"Yeah, must have been a trick…" Ruby was hoping she didn't hear that.

"Oh you got to be fucking kidding me…" Qrow wasn't drunk enough for this.

Port went silent at what he heard his new friend say.

"Is…Is that a sequel?" He couldn't think of what else to say.

"More like…a reimagining….an erotic reimaginig, with a lot less women…..no women actually." Jaune took another sip of his drink.

"Oh gods…please don't be true…." Glynda was praying it wasn't true.

"Pllleeasssee be true….." Blake whispered to herself as she had a nosebleed going.

"I'm scared…" Ruby was honestly scared for her life.

"Uhm, don't take this the wrong way, but are you a gay porn actor?"

"Guilty as charged sweetie." Jaune flicked his wrist, and Port looked down really quick to see a lace thong sticking up out of his jeans.

…

…

…

"WWWHHHHAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!" Pyrrha and Nora screamed out.

"G-G-Gay porn?" Yang wasn't sure whether to laugh at this, or be kind of scared.

"My student is a fucking pornstar." Ozpin cursed under his breath.

"This is funny as fuck…" Qrow was laughing to himself.

Needless to say, the entire group was shocked at what they had heard.

"I don't feel comfortable with this…" Ruby had no problem with gay people. FAR FROM IT.

But…she did know what porn was, and she didn't like it. It scared her.

"Wait…and you came here with Ren?" Port needed to know…

"Yes, he's my boyfriend."

"WWWWHHHHAAAATTTTTTTTT?!" Pyrrha and Nora jumped out of their seats.

"So hot…" Blake had a pervy smile on her face as she was starting to write her own smut story.

"THAT'S NOT RIGHT! JAUNE/REN IS MINE!" Pyrrha and Nora wanted their men all to themselves.

"You two cut it out!" Glynda sat them both down.

"We have seen Mr. Arc get together with numerous people throughout these stories, why does this one bother you so much."

"…Because I don't want to have to compete with Ren for Jaune…." Pyrrha huffed as Nora did the same.

"Puhlease, Ren is obviously the better man in this relationship." Nora said as Pyrrha glared.

"Oh please! Look at how handsome Jaune is, and how much taller he is then Ren!" Pyrrha defended her man.

"My man is ten times the gay that yours is!" Nora glared at her friend.

"Jaune is much gayer than Ren could ever be!"

"Oh yeah! Wanna bet?!" Glynda knew she had made the situation worse.

She was trying to make them forget about Jaune and Ren's gay relationship.

Instead all she did was make them compete over who was the better gay man.

"Hmmm." Port grabbed Jaune's arm.

"Lets go say Hi!" He had a great idea.

"Hi Nora!" Port said jovially as Nora was failing to flirt with Ren.

"Go the fuck away." Nora said with a smile.

Port got a sadistic grin as he brought Jaune over.

"This is Jaune Arc."

"Salutations sweetheart." Jaune greeted warmly as he got close to Ren.

"Ren's boyfriend." Suddenly Nora's face fell.

"Huh, Ren who?" She wasn't sure she heard that right.

"She's not going to like this." Nora admitted hse wouldn't like it if this happened in real life.

Pyrrha was the same, granted they had no problems with gay people, Blake and Yang were Bi themselves, Ruby was, well who knows what Ruby was. But the point was they didn't really give a fuck. BUT if after months of crushing on them, if Ren and Jaune turned out to be gay with each other, that would really blow.

"Uh, me." Ren said awkwardly as Jaune had been drinking again.

"Oh, look at how cute he is when he's embarassed." Jaune ruffled his hair.

"Are you fucking with me?" Nora got it, it had to be a prank.

"No they're fucking each other." Port said with a grin.

"That is hardly appropriate!" Glynda yelled at her coworker.

"Professor Port seems different in this world."

"Yeah, kind of like a frat boy."

"Nah, more like some overrated douchebag actor." Ren said as everyone stared at him.

"Woah, getting a little personal there."

"Eh, I don't know, for some reason Port's personality in this really makes me dislike him." Ren didn't know why. (1)

"Huh?" Nora's face fell as her face fell.

"Jaune is the star of movies such as 'Killer Cocks from Mars' 'Robocock' and what was that last one?" Port asked his new friend.

"Shut your mouth before I fuck it." Jaune answered.

Everyone had either a blush or a look of disgust on their face.

"How revolting!" Glynda could not believe how lewd this was getting.

"I'm gonna be sick…" Qrow did not feel comfortable with this.

"Eh, I've heard worse." Ozpin was pretty relaxed about this.

"ooooooohhhh." Blake was getting more and more excited as she wrote in her little notebook.

"Nora…." Pyrrha said.

"Yeah?"

"I think Jaune is officially the gayest."

"No! I guarantee you Ren is totally gay! He probably is in those movies with Jaune!"

"Amazing how I can't remember that…" Port was enjoying this

"Wait…." Jaune looked at Nora.

"What?"

"NNOOOOO!" Jaune got excited.

"What?" Nora was confused.

"Granny panties?!"

"WHAT?!" She yelled in embarassment.

Port was confused.

"How the hell can you tell?"

"He's gay, maybe he can tell what kind of panties you wear by instinct?" Yang asked.

"That's stupid, what kind of gay men would know that much about women's clothes?" Weiss asked as she had been quiet through all of this.

"You have obviously never met a drag queen." Blake said as everyone stared at her.

"YOU have?" Weiss asked.

"Yeah, they are actually a lot of fun to go to." Blake enjoyed how nice they were.

In truth, Drag Queens could be some of the nicest people, its just that they also had 'odd' personalities so if you weren't used to them, you would feel uncomfortable.

"Hang on." Jaune pulled out his phone.

"This is you right?" He pulled up a video.

"My name is granny panties and nobody wants to fuck me!" A video of Nora's ass appeared on the screen.

"AAAHHHHHH!" Nora screamed in horror as she saw she was on dusttube.

"Nothing is whiter than my big gay ass." Port's ass appeared in the video as he mooned the camera

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Nora could nto believe it.

"Ew, really Nora? Jaune was wearing prettier panties than that." Blake took a break from her writing as she couldn't believe Nora would choose something like that.

"I don't wear those! More importantly that's none of your business!" Nora was embarassed as hell!

Pyrrha was laughing on the inside. But still, how did they get that video?

Glynda wanted to vomit at seeing Professor Port's ass. It was that gross.

So wrinkly and bulgy. Qrow was drinking himself into a stupor.

Ruby was huddling in the corner with her ears covered.

Yang was laughing her ass off.

Ren was drinking green tea trying to relax because this was stressing him the fuck out.

"Where did you get that?!" Port laughed as he couldn't believe it.

"I typed in gay and ass, and it popped up. Huney you're famous!" That only made Nora more distraught.

"Oh sweetie take a picture!" Jaun handed his scroll to Ren.

"I get a picture with granny panties!" Jaune was excited as Ren rolled his eyes and took the picture.

"Oh nice!"

"I'm going to get a drink…" nora walked off.

"Okay Pyrrha you win! Just please make this stop!" Nora had never been so embarassed in her life!

"I can't stop this!" Pyrrha was both grossed out and laughing.

"This is so wrong!" Weiss was done with this.

"I'm sick of this." Glynda didn't want to see any more.

"Agreed." Qrow and Ozpin nodded.

"So you guys suck each others cocks huh?" Port asked.

"Oooohhh like craaazzzzyy!" Jaune said as Ren was even more embarassed.

"Surprisingly he does the most eating in bed, both of the ass and of the sack." Jaune winked.

"OH GOD!" Pyrrha did not want to hear any more.

Don't get her wrong, she liked it when people were romantic, but this was just getting way too lewd, and was grossing her out. It wasn't because they were gay, its because sex was something personal to her.

Well that, and the idea of eating ass seemed gross.

Ren was trying not to scream. And he wanted so much for this to be over.

"Please stop." He begged the writer of this story.

"Almost there…." Blake was again writing in her notebook.

"Okay Jaune that is enough!"

"What?"

"See this is why you haven't been to see my mother!"

"Oh boy, now they're arguing…" Pyrrha couldn't believe it.

"Just like a real couple…" Nora was right there with Pyrrha.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes! You always end up drinking way too much, and you don't ease in, you just force yourself in!"

Everyone started coughing as Ren obviously didn't realize the obvious innuendo.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm causing a scene!"

"HEY EVERYONE! MY NAME IS JAUNE ARC AND I LOVE LIE REN!" He turned to Ren.

"I can make a much bigger scene than that, I'm sorry I have to lie and say to myself that I don't love it when you shove you dick in my mouth!"

At this, Pyrrha and Nora blushed like crazy at the image in their heads.

Blake was getting more and more excited as things went on.

Everyone else couldn't believe this and just wanted it to be over.

Except for Yang who was trying not to laugh at this.

"I'm sorry, but I love your big fat meaty-" Suddenly Ren put his arms on Jaune.

"I'm sorry…"

"Are you serious"

"I am…."

"….I'm sorry I love you too." Jaune and Ren went in.

And they shared a kiss.

"…." Everyone went silent for a bit.

"Awwwwwwww." Ruby said as she had to admit, it was slightly adorable considering the other scenes.

"A bit of romance added to the fun." Blake took more notes.

"You know, despite their earlier conversation, I do like how cute they look now." Pyrrha smiled at this.

"Okay, maybe this isn't so bad.

"I know you're scared, but don't worry, I will be your sherpa…up the mountain…of gayness."

"And you ruined it…." Glynda said.

(1) In all honesty, I think Seth Rogan is a douchebag, but occassionally a funny douchebag.