"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'
Chapter 7
"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'"'
The next morning, Hermione woke up soon after dawn. Her first thought was that she'd had no nightmares. Her second thought was visiting Ginny.
But first, she took a walk by the lake again. She climbed up on a rock and took in the scenery around her as she practiced her calming breathing technique. The grey sky was dark, promising rain later, and the air was cool. A layer of fog still lay over the water.
At the sound of footsteps behind her, she turned her head. It was Severus. He stopped a few feet away.
"I apologize, Hermione. I do not mean to intrude on your meditation. I just returned from delivering the Dragon's Tail potion to St. Mungo's and saw you here. No nightmares last night?"
"No, none." She let out a grateful sigh. "I slept through the night."
"Well, that's a good thing. I will see you this evening after my classes, at four then." With that, he nodded at her and walked towards the school.
After spending several more moments taking in the scene around her, Hermione made her way up to the infirmary.
As she walked, memories of Harry and Ron flooded her mind.
The live chess game guarding the philosopher's stone...the polyjuice potion that turned her into a cat…rescuing Buckbeak…Harry bringing Cedric's body back from the graveyard…leading Umbridge into the Forbidden Forest…Harry's owl and Harry suddenly appearing in the Burrow before their sixth year...months on the run…taking polyjuice potion to impersonate Bellatrix…watching Harry destroy the Elder wand and throwing it in the Black Lake…
Three first year students rushed past her down the corridor, and she had to do a double take. For a moment, she could have sworn she saw red hair on one, bushy brown hair on the girl and black hair and glasses on the third. She shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again the students were gone.
"It must have just been memories", she told herself.
Entering the infirmary, she found Ginny awake but laying on her side staring at the wall.
"Ginny?" Hermione cautiously called the girl's name as she sat down in the chair next to her cot.
The redhead didn't acknowledge she had heard her. The older witch tried tapping her shoulder, waving her hand in front of her face and even kicked the underside of the mattress. No response.
Seeing Madame Pomfrey watching them, Hermione stood up and walked over to her. The Mediwitch waved her into the office.
"She's been like this since last night. I cannot get a response out of her." The confusion was visible on the healer's face as she shook her head. "I do not know what could have caused this. Her parents are on their way, and they are going to take her to St. Mungo's."
"Do you think it was something in the abortifacient potion she received from Jigger's?" The brunette's brow was furrowed as she racked her brain.
"I suppose it could be. The Headmistress told me she was going to send you and Luna on a reconnaissance mission. I'm thinking the sooner, the better. If only Professor Snape could get inside there."
"I have an idea. They know who he is and dislike him, but what if he were to use Polyjuice potion and impersonate Pansy Parkinson and the three of us went? Or he could use Harry's cloak and sneak around their shop while Luna and I distract them? Or I could wear the cloak and he could impersonate me?"
"I think you need to include him in this plan. I think your last idea might be the best, though. You can sneak around under the cloak and he could look around while polyjuiced as you."
Hermione excused herself and headed to the library. Severus wouldn't be done with his classes for several more hours. She wanted to research what ingredients or ingredient interactions could produce a catatonic reaction.
As she was surrounded by heavy tomes in the depth of the library, her eyes singled out a particularly dusty old book.
For The Reversal of Dark Spells
Hermione levitated the book to a nearby table and began flipping through it.
Reversal of Dark Spells Applied to the Body
1 measure of sap of the Dragon's Blood tree
12 drops of juice of the Polypore fungus
2 needles of the Saguaro cactus
Simmer in 4 measures of water, stirring 8 times every 5 minutes in a vertical circular fashion for 4 hours.
Add 1 handful Chondrus crispus Irish moss
Add 2 blossoms of Galanthus nivalis, crushed
Simmer until bubbles burst on the surface and liquid is maroon in color.
Add 12 leaves of Melaleuca alternifolia
Bring to rolling boil, until it is blood red
Cool for 12 hours
Apply to cursed section of skin and consume internally.
…..
Hermione immediately thought of the Dark Mark on Severus's left arm. Would it erase it? Her mentor never mentioned it and he nearly always kept it covered. The only times she had ever seen it was when she came to his quarters at night after she'd had nightmares and he'd been wearing short sleeved tee shirts.
Hermione stowed the information away for future reference. She transfigured a piece of parchment into a bookmark and marked the page. As dusty as the book had been, it was unlikely anyone else would open it.
Another book, Potions and Ingredients for the Nervous System, looked promising. After returning the previous book, she eagerly opened this new one.
Her eyes skimmed over the lists of ingredients.
"...Welsh pine sap was a common ingredient in abortifacients in the 19th century because of abundant availability and the ability to induce uterine contractions. But use was largely discontinued in the early 20th century due to its many interactions, most notably Black Cohosh. When used together, they can cause a delayed catatonic reaction in certain patients, adolescents in particular."
Hermione conjured another bookmark and rushed out of the library. At Madame Pince's protest, she called over her shoulder that it had information needed immediately in the infirmary.
She hurried up the stairs and shoved the passage under the Mediwitch's nose.
The Headmistress was also present in the infirmary, and looked over the page. The Weasleys had arrived by floo, ready to take Ginny to St. Mungo's, but she asked them to wait.
"Poppy, I believe we need Severus to look at this." She sent a patronus to the Potions Master requesting his presence as soon as he was able to break free from his classes.
Thirty minutes later, the dark haired wizard arrived. He looked over the passage in the book and smelled the potion bottle Ginny had received from Jigger's.
"Well spotted, Hermione. I believe you are right. Unfortunately, the antidote will take a week to brew. We will get started on it immediately."
Molly Weasley approached the Headmistress and the Mediwitch.
"I'd like to take my daughter home. I can take care of her there. I can floo back here for potions when needed and we'll bring her back when the antidote is ready."
Madame Pomfrey looked skeptical. "Are you certain you can care for her?"
"She's my daughter. Of course, I can. Remember, once upon a time, I took Healer's training." The gingered matriarch's eyes were set, her fists were clenched and she was not going to budge.
Eventually, the decision was made that the Weasleys would take Ginny home and Molly would check in with the Mediwitch daily via the floo. When the antidote was ready, she would return to the infirmary.
While Luna gathered the needed potions to send to the Burrow, Hermione and Severus flooed to the potions office.
The brunette was set to work dicing pickled rattlesnake flesh while Severus ground up unicorn teeth with a stone mortar and pestle. The two ingredients needed to simmer, with corn silk, sea water and iguana saliva, for six hours on and six hours off for seven days. While simmering, it had to be watched.
After setting a timer charm to sound every six hours, Hermione sat down at the counter to read the book she'd brought from the library while Severus sat at his desk grading essays. She was right next to the cauldron to listen for any sign that it was trying to bubble over. At the slightest 'popping' sound, it needed to be stirred for ten minutes.
Four times over the next six hours, it needed stirring. At midnight, the brunette extinguished the fire underneath.
"Severus, could I…"
"Sleep on my couch since you'll be back in six hours anyway? Yes, you may. The charm will sound in my quarters as well as my office."
Hermione laid down on the couch and pulled the familiar green blanket around herself. Her mentor transfigured his favorite chair into a couch and stretched out on it.
*"':;!?;:'"*"':;!?;:'"*
In the Burrow, Arthur and Molly had transfigured a couch on the main floor into a bed and laid Ginny on it. She was still unresponsive, staring at nothing. Because the girl still required doses of strengthener, bloodbuilder and rescue, Madame Pomfrey had told them about her abortion. Arthur remembered the despair on his daughter's face when he'd brought her back to school after the trial. It wasn't surprising that she'd taken drastic measures afterwards.
Molly poured herself into coaxing a response from her only daughter and bringing her back to life. She sang to her, put spoonfuls of tea to her lips and talked to her about everything her brothers were up to. She refused to give up.
#$# #$# #$# #$
When the six hour timer sounded, Hermione dragged herself off the couch and started the fire under the cauldron of antidote. She read through the book on potions of the nervous system as she kept an eye on the potion next to her.
A house elf brought her breakfast and Severus watched the cauldron while she ate, before leaving for the Great Hall and a full day of classes.
When the timer sounded at noon, she raced up to her dorm and showered, then put on clean clothes. After that, she ate a quick lunch in the Great Hall and visited the library. Madame Pince allowed her to sign out the book on reversing dark spells, which she levitated down to the potions office.
When Severus returned to his office just after 4 PM he found her bent over the large tome, asleep. After carrying his apprentice to his couch, he looked over what she'd been reading.
The ingredients for the potion she'd been reading were extremely rare and required traveling to multiple continents. The Dragon's Blood tree only grew on the island of Sokotra. Polypore fungus would have to be retrieved from Norway. The Saguaro cactus only grew in the United States, in Arizona. A trip to Ireland would be required for the moss. Melaleuca alternifolia required a trip to eastern Australia. The only ingredient available in the British Isles was the Galanthus nivalis flower.
But the idea that the Dark Mark on his arm could finally be gone appealed to the Potions Master. If Draco was still alive, he would have not hesitated to share the potion with him.
When the timer sounded, Hermione appeared in the office very soon after. She quickly lit the fire and resumed her reading next to it. She immediately noticed some pencil notes next to the Reversal potion. Next to each ingredient was a notation of where each could be found.
"What did you think of this potion?"
"I think it would be incredibly difficult to acquire all of the ingredients, but the idea has appeal. If Draco was still alive, I would not hesitate to find a way to make it."
"But not for yourself? You deserve it. You deserve to be free of that mark."
"Do I?" Severus looked at his left arm, covered with a long sleeve and a robe, and shook his head. He knew every line of the tattoo, a snake coming out of the mouth of a skull and wrapping around it. "It is a reminder of who I was, how I failed and everything I did."
"Everything you did undercover, while protecting Harry and all of the rest of us. You did not fail. You're a good man, Severus Snape."
The professor was still staring at his arm as the antidote bubbled and Hermione turned her full attention to stirring it. After the ten minutes was over, her mentor inspected it.
"It's not the color it should be. I think we need to start doing four hour increments instead of six." After extinguishing the fire, he set a charm to sound in the office and his quarters every four hours. "You should try to sleep while you can."
Hermione reached out and touched his shoulder and he turned away from the cauldron and towards her. His eyes were full of doubt and pain.
"I meant what I said, Severus. You're a good man."
He shook his head. "You don't know all the things I did, that…"
"Are in the past now." She reached up and touched his cheek.
His dark eyes now had that same look in them again, that she'd seen occasionally before. She stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his, then headed to the couch and laid down under the blanket, leaving Severus staring after her.
Stunned, the Potions Master stood frozen next to the cooling cauldron, processing what had just occurred. Hermione had kissed him. It was quick, but deliberate and so sweet. He pressed his fingers to his lips and pondered it.
In the darkness of his quarters, he sat with a glass of whiskey. Unable to sleep, he listened to the brunette's breathing as she grabbed some rest between potion cycles. He remembered how, after Draco's death, she had once appeared close to kissing him but then had exploded into a rage and then a panic attack. He hoped this kiss would not trigger nightmares or flashbacks. He did not deny to himself that their relationship was deeper than that of mentor and apprentice, but he would allow her to completely take the lead in anything physical.
He pulled up the sleeve on his left arm and examined the mark in the flickering firelight. For twenty years, it had been the bane of his existence. For eighteen of those, he had spied for the light. All to protect Lily's child, and that is where he felt he had still failed. Harry had survived the Dark Lord and survived the war, only to let hate and revenge consume him. Now Lily's son sat in Azkaban, convicted of murder. Did she know?
"You've raised him like a pig for slaughter." His words to Dumbledore rang in his ears. Everyone had kept Harry alive, but at what cost? So many expectations, so much responsibility on one boy and it destroyed him.
"I'm sorry, Lily," he whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek unbidden. "I failed you. I kept him alive, but I didn't take care of his heart. Watch over him now, because I can't."
It may have been his imagination, but he could have sworn he heard a soft "I will".
He knew in his heart he would always love Lily, but truthfully his mind was consumed more and more with the brilliant apprentice asleep a few meters away from him.
When Hermione woke up a few hours later, he was in the same spot, watching her. After she'd lit the fire and resumed her vigil next to the potion, he pulled up a stool and sat next to her.
"During Christmas break. We'll go get the ingredients during the holiday break. Sound good?"
Hermione nodded. "Sounds good. Sounds exciting, actually. I've never traveled outside the British Isles, except with my parents. We went to Paris twice."
"We'll travel by Portkey. If not the Christmas break, then Easter break. It would probably involve staying overnight in each location, but first we need to do some more research on how long the ingredients last once harvested and make contacts in each region."
"Saguaro cactus are rare and protected. That may be the trickiest of all."
"You're right, it might be." Severus sighed. "Not to mention that country's penchant for guns."
"Oh. Right."
"We'll make contact with the magical community in each region first. They should be helpful."
#$_&-+()/)(+-&_$# #$_&-+()/
Harry sat in his cell, staring at the moon through the slits between the bars in his tiny window. It was the first night in several days that the sky was clear enough to see. A storm had been raging in the North Sea and waves had crashed against the fortress like buildings.
He wondered what Ginny was doing and if she would wait for him to be released from prison. What if Dean Thomas or another man had been waiting in the wings and was swooping in now that he was out of the picture?
Determined not to lose track of time, he'd started making scratch marks for each day. Only three days had passed since his trial.
A light filled his cell, and the first thought was that Death Eaters had found a way in and were going to beat him up again.
But this light was warm and inviting. In the middle of it stood his mother. She was smiling at him. He reached out to her.
"I'm sorry, Mum. I let you down. I let everybody down."
She touched his face. "I love you, Harry."
Then she was gone. He laid his hand over his cheek where she had touched him and then closed his eyes and slept without nightmares for the first time in weeks. Years, actually. For as long as he could remember, his sleep had been interrupted by nightmares.
*"':;!?;:'"*"':;!?;:'"*
The silence in the Potions office grew as both Hermione and Severus sat watching the antidote for any signs of bubbling. Both were separately thinking of the kiss they'd shared at the end of the last cycle.
The brunette was kicking herself for possibly doing something to put an awkward damper on her apprenticeship.
The Potions Master was wondering if he should kiss her now or wait until the four hour brew was completed. Then he remembered that everything and anything physical that happened between them would be of her leading.
Both separately came to the conclusion that no kissing should take place during an active brew cycle, not with this antidote. Not while Ginny's well being was on the line. Without it, she would not come out of her catatonia.
After Hermione extinguished the fire and double checked that the four hour charm would sound, she stood up. So did Severus. Both started to talk at once.
"It's coming along well, but we have to keep our attention on it while it's brewing."
"It is important that nothing distracts us while watching that potion."
Hermione looked up into her mentor's dark eyes. That same look was back in them. He was so close to her that she could feel his breath on her forehead.
"You should rest. You'll be watching the brew all day while I am teaching, and probably tonight since I doubt I can stay awake two nights in a row."
"You didn't sleep earlier?" Hermione's brow furrowed in concern.
"No. I was thinking about Harry, and Draco and…. this." He made a gesture with his hand between the two of them.
"Oh…" Hermione's heart sank. She'd blown it. He didn't care for her after all. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I was wrong to kiss you."
"No," he reached out and placed a hand on her cheek. "You were not wrong. I was glad you did it."
The brunette's emotions did an about face from sad and embarrassed to happy and relieved.
"Well, then, I will just have to do it again." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his again. As electricity coursed through her, she felt him wrap his arms around her. A few moments later, she broke off the kiss and laid her head on his chest and felt him kiss the top of her head.
"Hermione, I need to get ready for the day. I'm sorry."
"I understand. Try not to deduct too many points from Gryffindor in your sleep deprived state, okay?"
Severus snorted. "I'm not making any promises."
She shook her head as she entered his quarters. It was chilly, so she pointed her wand at the fireplace wordlessly and a fire appeared. Soon the sound of her even breathing and the crackling fire could be heard throughout the sitting room as she slept under the green blanket she'd come to think of as hers.
*#"$'_:-!+?()/ *#"$'
Molly Weasley had kept her promise to check in daily with Madame Pomfrey regarding Ginny's condition.
She had managed to get a few bites and sips into her daughter, but she was mostly being sustained on nutrient and hydrating potions spelled into her.
Bill, Percy and George all visited to check in on their baby sister. Charlie sent a letter to her via owl that Arthur read to her.
The pain of Fred's death was felt keenly by all as George teasingly pleaded with Ginny to wake up to see the new hijinks being sold in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
Ron's absence was felt as everyone knew he would have been on the receiving end of at least one of those pranks.
After everyone else had either left for home or gone to bed, Bill stayed by Ginny's side. He took his little sister's hand in his.
"Sis, you have to snap out of this. Mum can't take losing another one of us. Please come back."
Back in the upstairs apartment of his shop, George started unseeing out the window at Diagon Alley, wand in hand. He remembered the morning of Bill's wedding, when he'd walked in on Harry kissing Ginny. He'd only said one word- "Morning"- but he'd purposely maintained sharp eye contact with the boy until he'd backed out of the room in terror. The unspoken message had been clear: hurt our baby sister and you will cease to be the Boy Who Lived.
He found he blamed Harry for his sister's predicament. "You're lucky you're in Azkaban, boy." He muttered to himself as he watched rain begin to fall over the Alley. "I've got a few slug vomiting and levitation spells with your name on them, just to get started."
*#"$'_:!?
At 10 AM, Hermione woke up to the 4 hour charm. She lit the fire and focused on the potion.
At 12 PM, the Headmistress arrived at the office with a lunch tray for her, that she set down on the desk.
"Are you able to eat right now, Miss Granger? I'm taking a gander that you did not eat breakfast."
Hermione sighed, her eyes trained on the contents of the cauldron. "I have to watch it for two more hours. If it bubbles or pops at all, I have to stir it for ten minutes."
"Alright. I will watch it while you eat." She sat on the stool and Hermione hurriedly ate the bacon, eggs and potato cakes. Then she quickly tipped back the glass of pumpkin juice and the tea.
Resuming her place in front of the caution, she thanked the Headmistress.
"You're welcome, Miss Granger. I normally would chastise a student for eating so fast, but under the circumstances it was necessary. But what I will admonish you for is not taking responsibility for your own meals. Call one of the house elves if you're not able to break away to eat. I will not continue to bring you meals like a child."
Hermione dropped her eyes to the potion, suddenly interested in the turquoise tint. "Yes, ma'am." It was true she was no longer a child, that she knew. But the days of breaking down when things got hard and depending on others to look after her were over. Every day, she would get herself through whatever emotional and mental turmoil came her way.
"Now. When do you feel you will be ready to take your NEWTs? Clearly, not before this potion is completed."
"Four weeks. I can be ready in four weeks. Or maybe after the holiday break will work better."
"That sounds like an excellent plan. I will plan for that, as well as pass it on to Professors Snape and Sprout."
"I will start studying after this antidote is completed. Maybe I can manage some studying between the four hour cycles."
"I trust you to adequately prepare yourself for your exams. After you pass them, you will be given quarters down here in the dungeon, next to Professor Snape."
Hermione smiled and blushed slightly then quickly looked away.
The Headmistress smirked to herself but didn't let on that she'd noticed. "Well, then. I will be on my way. Good day, Miss Granger."
"Good day, Professor."
After the door closed, the brunette smacked herself on the forehead. "Gods… Why did I have to blush?"
Then she grew serious. The Headmistress had given her much to think about. She'd been wallowing in misery for months. Now it was time to stop. To really live. She had an apprenticeship and a career path, as well as the affections of a man who shared her thirst for knowledge. She could continue to let her pain keep her down or she could look at what was right in front of her.
"They lost, Hermione," she said to herself out loud. "So stop letting them win."
A pop made her jump and she quickly began stirring the antidote.
At 2 pm, she napped on the desk until 4:30. Then she showered in her dorm, donned clean clothes and hurried to the Great Hall and ate dinner with Neville and Luna. At 5:58 she skidded into the potions office and quickly sat on her stool.
"Ahem."
"I made it, I made it." She quickly lit the fire under the cauldron, mindful of the dark glare aimed at her.
"I expect you will not cut it so close again, Miss Granger." Severus had taken the stance of his 'angry professor' persona. "I do not need to remind you that Miss Weasley's life depends on this potion being properly brewed."
Hermione stared at the cauldron. This was the second bollocking she had received that day. She took a deep breath. He was correct, she knew.
"It won't happen again, Sir. I'm sorry." She felt tears prick the back of her eyes.
"See that it doesn't." The professor sat down at his desk and began grading essays.
The brunette quickly blinked several times to keep tears from falling. Maybe falling for her mentor wasn't such a good idea.
The time passed in tense silence.
"Did you think potioneering would be easy?"
"No, Sir."
"Good. It's not. Now I'm going to bed and I expect this antidote will be properly brewed in my absence."
"Yes, Sir. It will."
He walked over to where she sat, and lifted her chin up with his hand. "I'm harsh, but I'm training you to be the best. Is that clear?"
She nodded. "Clear."
He tipped his head down and briefly kissed her.
"Hey, not during an active brew."
Severus smirked at her. "Good night, Hermione."
"Good night, Severus."
As he pulled the covers up over his shoulder several minutes later, the Potions Master realized with regret that he had taken the lead by kissing her instead of allowing her to initiate all physical contact. Nevertheless, he fell asleep remembering the feeling of her sweet kiss on his lips.
Perched over the cauldron, Hermione was doing the same.