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Chapter 10
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Hermione soon developed a new routine for her full apprenticeship.
She still awoke before dawn, although she always set a waking charm. Then she'd bundle up and walk out to the lake and meditate until any stressors were no longer on her mind and peace filled her.
Then she ate breakfast in the Great Hall with the staff. Sitting at the Head Table gave her a different perspective. Her seat was in front of Slytherin's long table. She found herself watching them and catching bits of mischief almost as quickly as her eagle eyed mentor did.
After breakfast, she brewed potions that were needed for the infirmary and common rooms, took inventory and restocked or researched.
Usually, she would remember to eat lunch, but occasionally had to be reminded if she was deep into a brew or a book.
Every evening she ate supper with Severus and then they walked down to the office together. He'd look over whatever she had brewed or researched that day, then they'd drink tea in his quarters before she'd return to hers to go to sleep.
She looked forward to the evenings in his quarters as she worked. It was her favorite part of every day. They'd sit on the couch together and talk, snuggle, debate and kiss.
On Fridays after he finished his last class, they would walk down to The Three Broomsticks and eat dinner, then get drinks.
Of course, whenever there was an emergency in the infirmary that required their assistance, their routine went to the wayside and they worked until it was resolved.
A burst of accidental magic from a second year upset over her parents' divorce caused a dorm fire in late February. Three other girls in her dorm room, as well as herself, were burned. Madame Pomfrey had floo called Severus, who woke up Hermione and she pulled on slippers and threw a robe over her pajamas and raced into the office.
The two of them each set two cauldrons of burn paste to brewing. It took continuous stirring for four hours.
By the time four cauldrons had been brewed, it was six in the morning. Fortunately, it was a Saturday. Instead of going right to sleep, they decided to walk to The Three Broomsticks and get breakfast. Since it was empty, they sat at the bar instead of a booth.
When they ordered their usual drinks along with the food, Madame Rosmerta raised her eyebrows.
"A little early for that, isn't it? Long night?"
"We were up at one o'clock brewing for a medical emergency. We just got done."
"Ah. I see. Everything alright?"
"It will be."
"Thanks to your potions, right?"
"Our potions and Madame Pomfrey's expertise."
After they made the walk back, they both crashed on Severus's couch and fell asleep. Hermione was curled against his chest, with her hair tickling his nose and her drool on his shirt when Madame Pomfrey floo called for wound cleaner, pain reliever and more burn paste. They both jumped up, and she quickly used a cleaning spell to remove the drool from his shirt.
"Don't be embarrassed, Hermione. I didn't mind." He kissed her forehead and they got to work. They tackled the burn paste first, then the wound cleaner followed by pain reliever.
The brunette set a timing charm again for the pain reliever and the countdown began. If she lost, he got to charm her robe the color of his choosing all week. If she won, she got to charm his hair any color she wanted for one whole day. One whole week day. All three meals and all classes.
When the Headmistress appeared within six minutes, Hermione let out a whoop. Severus looked chagrined.
The Headmistress smirked, having grown accustomed to the reactions her arrival always caused when the smell of pain reliever drew her down to the potions office.
"So what did we bet this time?" Judging from Hermione's dancing around and Severus's grimace, she could guess who lost.
"If I had won, I'd get to charm her robe a different color for a week. However…"
"I won! I get to charm his hair to whatever color I want on Monday and he has to wear it all day."
"Well." She eyed the Potions Master's frown. "That will definitely be interesting." She turned to his apprentice. "You know he's going to be insufferable that entire day, don't you?"
"Yes, I know." She looked at her mentor and shook her head. "It's only one day, Severus."
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Monday rolled around and Severus tried to sneak out of his quarters but Hermione was waiting for him in the office.
"I'll be nice and charm it green for Slytherin."
One flick of her wand later and the two of them were off to breakfast. As he caught sight of himself in a corridor mirror, he mumbled under his breath. "Minx".
She laughed nearly the whole walk.
"You realize this means war, don't you?"
The Great Hall instantly went completely quiet as the fearsome potions professor stalked in with bright green hair. Everybody stared but no one dared to speak.
After he sat down, he silenced his colleagues with a glare. "I lost a bet", he mumbled in answer to their unmasked question.
Hermione sadly wished that Harry and Ron had been able to see this. She caught Ginny's eye and, judging from her sad expression, she was thinking the same thing. Likely, the redhead was also missing Fred, as this was something the twins would have loved to see.
"Why are you so sad, Apprentice? You won." Severus was looking at her with a partly annoyed and partly concerned expression.
"I was just thinking about Harry and Ron and how they would have loved to see this. Then I looked over at Ginny and she looked sad, so I think she was thinking about the same thing. Then I started to think about the twins and what their reaction would be. That got me thinking about Fred and then about Tonks."
He nodded and rubbed her knee under the table where it wasn't obvious he was offering comfort.
After he left the table to prepare for his first class, Professor McGonagall leaned over to Hermione. "You're good for him, you know. I've seen him come alive since you've been in his life, especially the last month."
Professor Snape started each class with "I lost a bet, that's all you need to know."
"Thanks for showing your Slytherin spirit, Professor!" One seventh year student tried to put a positive spin on it, and was rewarded with a brief nod. No other student dared say anything about his hair through the rest of his classes, for fear of getting detention. Any whisper or pop of a cauldron was met by fierce glares, worse than usual. No one even dared to stare at his hair, either.
As soon as supper was over and they had exited the Great Hall, Severus stopped Hermione from walking. "Fix it! All three meals and all my classes are done."
"Okay, okay." One flick of her wand and his hair changed back to the deep black color it usually was.
She turned to walk down to the office and suddenly her shoes became huge, heavy boots. As she stopped to look down at them, she realized her robe was bright orange.
"Severus!"
He was looking towards the huge windows in the entry way, whistling. At the sound of his voice, he looked her direction with an innocent look on his face. "Yes?"
Hermione gave him an exasperated sigh and he changed the boots into enormous furry beast slippers. "Is that better?"
"No, not particularly."
Suddenly, her feet were standing in bright pink stilettos.
"Severus, I can't walk in these!"
They changed into sleek, black leather combat boots.
"Okay, okay." She held her hand up. "These, I can deal with." She lifted up a foot and looked them over. "Actually, I like these." She gave Severus an approving nod and continued walking.
When she heard a chuckle behind her, she glanced into the full length mirror in the hallway. Her hair was a tall, bright purple mohawk.
"Just out of spite, I think I'll leave it like this until it annoys you." He was whistling again and looking at the ceiling but Hermione knew he heard her.
A few students walked by on the way to their dorms and giggled when they saw Hermione's robe, hair and boots.
"If only Draco could see this." Hermione's thoughts once again took a sad turn.
"Yes, he would have gotten a kick out of my hair as well."
A moment later, a pebble flew through the air, out one classroom doorway and into another.
"Well, hello, Draco. Are we amusing you?" The Slytherin Head did not see any sign of the spirit, but he felt him.
A disembodied laughter sounded through the hallway.
"Can we help you move on, Draco?" Hermione felt the corridor grow cold.
Severus suddenly lifted his left arm and pulled the sleeve up. The mark was blue and his arm was freezing cold.
"You need to be free of your mark? Is that it? You need it to be gone before you can move on?"
His arm warmed, but the mark remained the color of the ocean.
Hermione felt the air around her begin to warm. "Okay, we'll help you. We'll share the potion with you." She nodded at Severus, who gave her a determined nod in return. "It won't be completed until at least the end of April, when we go to Sokotra."
They made the rest of the walk in silence. After he made a quick inspection of her brews from that day, he turned to her.
"Ready for tea?"
"Actually, I think after that I need a shot of whiskey."
"Yes, Draco always was dramatic."
They crossed into his quarters and he poured them each a tumbler of the whiskey Hagrid had given him.
As they each sat down on the couch, Hermione waved her wand and the fireplace came to life. Severus wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they each stared at the fire in contemplation.
The brunette finally broke the silence. "What do you make of that, your mark turning blue?"
He looked down at his left arm, where his shirt sleeve now covered the mark, and his brow furrowed. In his very early Death Eater years, he had studied the dark magic behind it.
A blue dark mark had a specific meaning, but he was not ready to share it with Hermione just yet.
"Bearers of the mark can manipulate another's mark. I think he can't move on from this life until he is rid of it forever."
"Will he be able to drink the potion? Can a spirit do that?" Hermione tipped back the last of her whiskey, and jumped up to pour more into each of their tumblers.
"I honestly do not know the answer to that." He accepted the liquor from her and took a sip.
"I suppose we will find out." She sat back down and began slowly nursing her drink, not fancying the idea of waking up with a hangover on a Tuesday morning.
When she attempted to lean her head against his shoulder, her tall mohawk stabbed him in the eye, so he changed it back. He also changed the color of her robe back to black but at her request her boots remained the way they were.
After Hermione had gone to her own quarters for the night, Severus stayed on the couch late into the night. He pulled up his left sleeve and checked the mark. It was still blue.
"What are you trying to tell me, Mr. Malfoy?" The sitting room remained ominously silent, although a solitary candle lit and flickered. "What do you know?"
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March roared in like a lion, as it is wont to do, and the Norway trip was upon them before they knew it.
The two dressed in layers and grabbed onto the Portkey outside the Hogwarts gates. When the spinning stopped, they were on a hill outside of Oslo. Hermione noticed that it took Severus a few moments to catch his breath and get his bearings after they landed, which was unusual for him.
A house stood close to where they had landed, and a man walked out of it to greet them. He was the Scandinavian Minister of Magic and his wife was a renowned Potions Master and healer.
They walked into a nearby copse and Hermione pulled out several vials and collected the fluid draining from the multiple pores on a clump of fungus on a dying tree. After she had five vials worth, she secured the tops and stored them in her bottomless bag.
Afterwards, they ate supper with their hosts and shared stories around a roaring fire. They learned all about happenings in the Scandinavian magical community, and the Brits regaled their hosts with funny stories from Hogwarts.
Much to Hermione's disappointment, no Northern lights were visible that night.
A room had been prepared for them to share. Hermione had already headed to bed and Severus had stood up to follow when the healer grasped his hand.
"Stay, I must speak with you."
He took a deep breath and sat back down.
"You bear a mark on your arm." The healer's eyes held his steadily.
"Yes, we are working to collect the ingredients to banish it for good." He resisted the urge to pull his arm away when she grasped it and pulled up the sleeve. Running her fingers over it, she murmured as she inspected it and nodded to herself.
"It turned blue."
Severus looked up at her and nodded, wondering if she knew the meaning.
"You have told no one of it? Not even your wife?"
"Only my wife knows it turned blue, but she does not know the meaning." He did not want to correct her that Hermione was not his wife. Not his wife yet, he corrected himself.
The healer was looking deep into his eyes. She could see a failure, a weakening. Deep inside his chest.
"You were bitten, a strange venom entered your blood."
"Yes. I took bezoars, healing potions, antidotes and Essence of Dittany."
"Strengthener. Every day. When did your mark turn blue?"
"A month ago, perhaps."
"When will you complete the potion?" She let go of his arm and he pulled it close to his body as if it were injured.
"We will travel to the island of Sokotra for sap from the Dragon's Blood tree in the third week of April. Between now and then, we will collect two more ingredients from the British Isles."
"Good. Complete it as soon as you can, Severus Snape. You are running out of time."
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In the morning, as was their new tradition, Severus and Hermione rose early enough to watch the sunrise before taking the Portkey back to Hogwarts.
Once again, he had difficulty getting his balance and catching his breath when they landed. He tried to play it off but she noticed.
"You should go see Madame Pomfrey. I'm concerned about you. You never used to have difficulty like this." Hermione's brown eyes were filled with concern.
"I'm fine, Hermione. Seriously. I'll be alright."
She looked up into his dark eyes and sighed in frustration. "Okay, but if it happens next time, you had better go see her."
"I will." He turned and looked at her and dipped his head. He was loathe to tell her that he was getting winded climbing stairs and that he had to sit down more as he taught his classes.
The following weekend, they collected the moss from Ireland and the flowers from northern Scotland.
When Severus stumbled and gasped for air upon their return to the outside of the gates, Hermione had enough.
"The infirmary, Severus. Now, you stubborn arse! You promised."
He raised both his hands up in surrender. "Alright. I'll go."
The walk to the infirmary was made in silence. Hermione was full of anxiety, Severus was feeling dread.
She dragged him through the doorway and onto a cot, then filled in Madame Pomfrey on what had been happening. The Mediwitch glanced over at her patient and met his eyes. She saw defeat and resignation in them.
"Miss Granger, would you excuse us while I examine him?"
The brunette glanced over at the man she loved laying on the cot, reluctant to leave him. Sensing this was something serious, Luna took her by the arm and led her to the healer's office. She sat her down on a chair. The two healers had been about to sit down and take a break, so Luna gave her tea and biscuit to Hermione.
Madame Pomfrey pulled a curtain around herself and the professor. No sooner had she set a silencing spell, then she turned on him with a roar.
"That girl loves you and you don't have the stones to be honest with her? How long has this been going on, that you've been feeling weak and short of breath?"
"At least a month."
The Mediwitch ran a diagnostic spell on him and found his heart was only functioning at 30% of what it should be.
"So you do remember the conversation we had after Nagini's attack, that the venom would cause your heart to gradually weaken? You just didn't bother to tell her and let her fall in love with you?" A vein was protruding on her forehead and her face was reddened. The last thing she wanted was to see Hermione's heart broken.
"My dark mark turned blue a month ago."
"That does not mean anything good, does it?"
"It means the effect of the venom on my heart is speeding up the closer it gets to the one year anniversary of his death. It means I'll die if it isn't removed. The blue was a signal, a warning."
Madame Pomfrey sucked in her breath. "How many more ingredients do you need to collect?"
"Just one, sap from a Dragon's Blood tree in Sokotra. Then it takes 12 hours to brew and 12 hours to cool. We're scheduled to go in the third week of April."
"Well, we will just see about that. I'm about to call in a few favors. Accio Strengthener, accio Bloodbuilder, accio Invigoration draught."
She shoved the vials into the professor's hands.
"Take them. I'm going to the owlery. While I'm gone, I suggest you have a heart to heart with Miss Granger. Or I will."
She cancelled the silencing spell and stuck her head into her office where one apprentice was comforting another.
"Hermione, go see him. He has things he needs to tell you. I'm off to the owlery. Luna, he needs Dragon's Tail potion, floo St. Mungo's. Then make sure they eat."
Hermione gasped. "Dragon's Tail potion is for the heart. Luna, what's wrong with him?"
"We'll get to the bottom of it, okay Hermione?" She put an arm around her friend and walked her towards his bed. "We'll get him taken care of."
After directing the brunette to a chair next to the professor, she hurried to the fireplace and floo called the apothecary at St. Mungo's. A few moments later, a potioneer stepped through and handed her a vial. "He will know how to take it, he created it."
Not caring if she was disturbing their conversation, Luna burst through the curtain and handed the vial to Professor Snape. "They said you will know how to take it."
He opened the cap and took a sip. "Yes, I certainly do." Then he set a quarter hourly charm. As he set down the vial, he was aware of a pair of brown eyes boring into him. This was not going to be easy.
He looked up into her beautiful eyes, that were now filled with tears. "Will you please tell me what is going on? Why are you taking that? Why are you weaker and short of breath?"
"Nagini's venom weakened my heart. Poppy told me that it would be gradual, but that my heart would fail. Do you remember when my mark turned blue?"
Hermione nodded tearfully.
"It was a signal that I was dying and that the effect of the venom would worsen, the closer it got to the anniversary of his death. If the mark isn't gone by that day, I'll die."
The brunette jumped up. "Well we, or I actually, will just have to go to Sokotra now. I'll bring someone else with me, maybe Bill Weasley or George. Or…"
"Sit down, Love. Poppy said she's going to call in a bunch of favors. She'll get the sap for us. You'll have to brew it."
Hermione scooted her chair as close as she could to Severus's cot. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Partly because I was in denial and partly because I did not know how. I have no excuses, Hermione. I am so sorry that I was not honest with you."
"You promised you'd never hurt me. At The Three Broomsticks. You promised." Tears ran down her cheeks as her eyes blazed with betrayal.
"I know. I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes, angry at himself for not being more forthcoming.
"Don't. Ever. Keep. Something. Like. This. From. Me. Again." Seeing the blazing anger in her eyes, he thought he could understand how she chased Potter nearly up a tree.
"I won't. I promise."
"I love you, Severus Snape. Even though you're a stubborn arse sometimes."
"I love you, too, Hermione Granger."
She leaned forward and kissed him.
"Forgive me?"
"This time."
The charm sounded and he took another sip of the potion.
"When did you create that? I don't think you ever told me."
"I spent several summers working at St. Mungo's as a potioneer in the 80s and early 90s, while school was out of session. I developed it while working with critical heart failure and heart attack patients. It took me two summers. It has saved a lot of lives."
She grabbed his hands. "And now it's helping to save yours."
An elf popped in with two trays for them. Luna stuck her head around the curtain. "Poppy said to make sure you eat." She disappeared, then popped her head back through a moment later. "Both of you."
After exchanging a smile, both began to eat.
Every fifteen minutes for two hours, he took a sip of the Dragon's Tail potion.
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In the owlery, Madame Pomfrey had received responses back from Sokotra and from Kingsley Shacklebolt. He and Bill Weasley were preparing to take a Portkey to the island, where freshly prepared sap would be ready for them.
She sent off a confirmation reply to each and hurried back to the infirmary, stopping at the Headmistress's office on the way. Professor McGonagall had known of the eventual effect of the venom but not of his quickly worsening condition.
"Nobody knew, Minerva. Not even Hermione. He didn't tell her about the venom, either."
She shook her head sadly. "I don't envy the bollocking she's giving him right now. I've seen her light into Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley when she needed to."
"I already gave him a good one myself. I suppose you are about to level a third?" The Mediwitch raised her eyebrows at the Headmistress.
"I'll see what kind of shape she left him in first."
When the two women arrived in the infirmary, they found the Potions Master sleeping. His apprentice was sitting next to him with her head on his chest, also sleeping with her hands entwined in his. Her face was puffy and there were dried tears on her cheeks.
They took in the scene for a moment, then closed the curtain again and exchanged sad looks.
"I guess he's forgiven."
"It would appear so."
When an elf popped in with dinner trays, Luna woke them both up and reminded them to eat. "Madame Pomfrey's orders."
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Just after ten at night, Kingsley and Bill flooed into the infirmary from the Leaky Cauldron. Hermione immediately took the sap down to the office after giving Severus a quick kiss, ignoring the audience. Before throwing down the floo powder, she called out to Madame Pomfrey to take care of him for her.
The book with the recipe was laid out on the desk and ready. She had gone down after supper and set all the ingredients out.
Reversal of Dark Spells Applied to the Body
1 measure of sap of the Dragon's Blood tree
12 drops of juice of the Polypore fungus
2 needles of the Saguaro cactus
Simmer in 4 measures of water, stirring 8 times every 5 minutes in a vertical circular fashion for 4 hours.
Add 1 handful Chondrus crispus Irish moss
Add 2 blossoms of Galanthus nivalis, crushed
Simmer until bubbles burst on the surface and liquid is maroon in color.
Add 12 leaves of Melaleuca alternifolia
Bring to rolling boil, until it is blood red
Cool for 12 hours
Apply to cursed section of skin and consume internally.
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Hermione placed the fungal juice, the sap and the needles into the silver cauldron with the water. She began the four hours of stirring eight times every five minutes, with a charm set for accuracy.
While on this process, she received a few visitors, despite the late hour. Hagrid brought her chocolate frogs and a small bottle of whiskey. Luna brought her a vial of Invigoration draught, which she drank half of right away and saved half for later.
When the Headmistress brought her coffee and a biscuit, she asked her to thank Bill Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt for her. She'd left the infirmary so quickly, she had forgotten to thank them for dropping everything and making an impromptu Portkey trip across the world and back.
"I think they understand, dear. It's obvious to anyone with eyes how much you love him. Severus once saved Kingsley's life after he was attacked by Death Eaters, so now he chose to save his. Bill knows that you and Severus worked twice to save Ginny's life. Poppy has saved many lives around the magical community, so people often are ready to drop everything for her. She saved many Auror lives when it was deemed too dangerous for them to go to the hospital. That was during both wars."
Hermione looked up at the Headmistress and then nodded at a flickering candle. It burned out then relit.
"Are you demonstrating your nonverbal wandless magic abilities?"
"I didn't do that. Draco did."
"You're telling me Mr. Malfoy's spirit did that?" The professor was looking at her like she was one snitch short of a Quidditch set.
"I've seen him and talked to him. We both saw him throw a pebble across the hall when we were talking about him. Severus said he occasionally makes his fire go out and lights his candles. He is often over by the unrepaired part of the castle."
"So you think he's watching over you and Severus now?"
"Yes, I do."
"Well, I will leave you to your work. If you need anything, just send a patronus."
"Thank you, Professor."
With a nod, the Headmistress exited the office and began the walk back to her quarters. On a whim, she walked towards the unrepaired section of corridor. The air became cold and still. She stopped and looked around, but nothing seemed amiss outside of the wreckage of the broken castle.
A piece of rock hit the ground and bounced up, then hit the ground again.
"Hello, Mr. Malfoy."
The rock hit the window.
"Now, now, no need to cause more damage."
Feeling the cold air coming through the broken glass, she raised her wand and repaired it.
Then she pointed her wand at a broken statue and the pieces all mended together.
"I think that's enough for one night, don't you?"
A candle lit itself on the wall.
"You want us to repair this corridor, is that it?"
The candle went out and then relit.
"Well, first we need to repair our Potions Master, then we'll worry about the corridor."
The rock bounced against the floor again.
"Good night, Mr. Malfoy."
With one final look around, she headed to her quarters for a few hours of sleep before her duties required her to be up.
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In the office, Hermione added the moss and the crushed Galanthus nivalis. Then she settled on the stool to watch the brew. This segment also took four hours and she had to watch the color and watch for bubbles.
Ever since she had discovered this recipe, she had envisioned brewing it with Severus. Now she was working in the office alone while he was in the infirmary with a rapidly weakening heart.
Now what I wanted, but it's what I have to do, she thought.
Her next thought was that she would need to brew more Dragon's Tail potion to keep here until his heart was healed, as well as bring more to St. Mungo's. That meant searching for more of the toxic plant to harvest from. She knew just who to bring with her to help her find more. Hagrid knew the Forbidden Forest like the back of his hand.
Now she was beginning to understand just why Severus was intent on her learning the many potions he had created. The bastard knew he would eventually die, she thought angrily.
Hermione felt herself growing upset with him again for not even telling her of the eventual effects of the venom. She could have helped him develop something to counter it.
But feeling like she needed to ring his neck was not going to help him or their circumstances.
While keeping her eyes open, she pulled forth the image of the sparkling snow covering everything after the snowstorm that stranded them at The Three Broomsticks. She took slow, controlled deep breaths until she felt the complete peace she had felt that morning. She remembered the way he had looked at her that cold morning. Now she knew what that expression in those dark eyes was. Love. He loved her, likely had for months, and she loved him back.
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Up in the infirmary, candles cast a dim light upon the cots and threw flickering shadows on the walls.
Both healers were dozing with their heads on the table in their office.
A black haired professor of potions lay quietly on a transfigured cot, watching the dancing shadows. His mind was on his curly haired, feisty apprentice two floors down.
He had planned to brew this potion with her, not to lay useless in the infirmary while she did the work. Sneaking downstairs to help her was not an option. If he gave any sign that he was awake, the Mediwitch would pour Dreamless Sleep down his throat. She had made it abundantly clear she wanted him to stay put and rest, even waving the purple liquid in his face until he agreed.
He knew he would have to take Dragon's Tail every day for a month for his heart to heal. Hermione would have to traverse the Forbidden Forest to retrieve more, but she would have the sense to bring Hagrid with her.
Alone with his thoughts, he pondered why he hadn't started taking the Dragon's Tail sooner or developed an antidote to counteract the venom's slow attack on his heart. He had taken daily strengthening potions like the Norwegian healer had instructed, but had taken no other steps to prolong his own life.
He did not think he deserved to live, that was what it all boiled down to. Ever since he had begun spying and especially since the Dark Lord's return, he had resigned himself to dying. When he'd survived Nagini's bite, he'd resigned himself to a slow death from heart failure.
As much as he loved Hermione, deep inside he'd thought she deserved better than him. Someone better than a bitter ex-spy with an evil mark on his arm and a body full of scars.
Now he realized how wrong he was to keep all of it from her. She surely had not delivered his last bollocking. After years with Potter and Weasley, she was undoubtedly skilled at keeping dunderheads alive and stubborn arses in line.
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Six hours into brewing the potion, Hermione took the rest of the Invigoration draught. She summoned a house elf, who brought her coffee and chocolate biscuits.
Her mind was on a certain potioneer in the infirmary. She spied an empty tea cup on his desk where he'd left it two nights before, after drinking it while grading essays. She realized she should have realized he was growing weaker. Leaving a cup on his desk was not something he normally did. An ungraded stack of essays sat untouched. This was also unusual for him. She realized the signs of his illness had been there and she had not wanted to see them.
She picked up the stack of essays, the red ink pot and a quill and began to grade them next to the cauldron. She could read them and still keep an eye on the potion.
It was early Sunday morning now. She wondered if he would be able to teach the next day and surmised that Poppy would not allow him to.
When the liquid turned maroon and began to bubble, she added the Melaleuca leaves. This stage would take more of her attention, as it needed to brew at a rolling boil but not spill over.
She continued to grade essays but at a slower pace. Severus could not afford for her to mess up this potion. His life depended on it.
The Headmistress arrived around 8 AM with an elf bearing coffee and breakfast.
At ten thirty AM, Hermione extinguished the flame and set a timer charm to sound in eleven and then in twelve hours no matter where she was in the castle.
She flooed to the infirmary and sat down by Severus. He had been sleeping but woke easily when she took his hand.
"Good morning, Love."
"Good morning, Severus."
She leaned forward to kiss him, then brushed his hair away from his face.
"How are you feeling this morning?"
"Tired. I did not sleep much last night, but do not tell her that." He nodded briefly towards the Mediwitch.
"Why didn't you sleep much?" The brunette's eyebrows furrowed and she looked at him with concern.
"I was thinking about you. About this. Draco. My mark and how he turned it blue to warn me that I was dying. The potion and how we had planned to brew it together. But mostly, that I should have told you everything and instead told you nothing."
"I can't imagine life without you, Severus. Why did you keep this from me?"
He gazed deeply into the brown eyes. She deserved the truth.
"I didn't think I deserved to live. I've been ready to die for a long time. I thought you deserved someone better than a bitter, jaded old spy and former Death Eater with a body full of scars who's nearly twice your age."
"Well, I don't want anyone else who would be deemed better. I want you. I love my bitter old spy."
She leaned forward and touched her lips to his. Her fingers tangled into his hair as his arms circled around her back. She dragged her tongue across his lips and he opened his mouth for her, so she deepened the kiss for the first time. Without leaving his lips, she laid down next to him on the cot. He moved his hand up to stroke her hair and turned his body towards her.
They remained that way, kissing and holding each other, until the sound of a throat clearing loudly interrupted them. The Headmistress had poked her head through the curtain and was smiling at them.
Hermione quickly jumped up and sat back on the chair, embarrassed.
"It's alright, Miss Granger. You're a grown woman sharing affection with your partner who's ill, not an errant teenager snogging in a dark corner."
The brunette smiled and the embarrassment fled.
"I just wanted to check on Severus but I will come back later." She very briefly cast a sharp look in his direction before disappearing.
After the curtain was closed, Severus sighed. "She's going to give me a good bollocking, too. I can feel it."
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They ate lunch together, then she sent a patronus to Hagrid. Before heading to his hut, she grabbed the designated Dragon's Tail harvesting kit.
As she walked through the forest with the half giant, they talked about Severus, Harry, Buckbeak and Thestrals. Hagrid was familiar with the plant she sought, so he was able to help her find it. Hermione noted the locations on a map, so it could be found again easily.
Back at the office, she retrieved the other silver cauldron and dropped the leaves and flowers in whole. She added Centaur's Clover, pine sap and willow bark, then applied a bubble to cover it for four hours. This was also another potion for Severus.
Upstairs, the Headmistress was fulfilling the Potion Master's suspicions. After Hermione had left to harvest the Dragon's Tail and brew the potion, she had pounced.
When she pulled the curtains tightly and cast a silencing spell, he knew he was in trouble.
"So you've been ill for over a month and you didn't think to tell anybody? Not even Miss Granger?"
"I did not think I deserved to live or deserved to be happy. I thought she would be better off with someone else." The potioneer studied the scars on his hands from years of dicing ingredients
"So you let her fall in love with you, knowing you were dying? Why would you do that?" The Headmistress thought back to when she had seen Hermione laying on the couch covered by a blanket and shutting out the world. She had come so far.
"I suppose I did not believe she could truly love me. I guess I believed myself unworthy of love, unlovable."
She sighed in aggravation. "So because you were drowning in self pity, you chose to allow her heart to break when your heart failed and you died? Because she couldn't possibly have really loved you?"
Severus finally looked up from his hands and looked into her eyes. "I guess I've been rather selfish, huh?"
"Yes, you have. Fortunately, you've been given a second chance. With life and with her. Do not try to gamble for a third."
"She made that clear to me. I won't." He shook his head. He would never toy with her heart again. A conversation months earlier sprang to mind.
"Do you love Hermione?"
He raised an eyebrow at Harry and wordlessly released the sticking charm and tossed him his wand. Then he cancelled the silencing charm and the wards and stalked out of the room with the younger wizard staring after him.
The Gryffindor soon caught up with him.
"Hey, Snape!"
"What is it, Potter?"
"It's fine, you know, if you do. But break her heart and I'll find a way to break you."
"Trust me, Potter, when I say I will take better care of her heart than anyone else ever has." With that, he disappeared down a staircase, with Harry smiling after him.
Severus returned to the present, which was him laying on a cot with an angry witch standing over him glaring.
"I almost broke her heart and I almost broke my promise to Potter."
"Potter? What promise did you make to him?" She looked curious and finally sat down in the chair next to him.
"The night they were expelled, he wanted to talk to me. Among other things, he asked me if I loved Hermione. He told me if I broke her heart, he would find a way to break me. I promised him I would take better care of her heart than anyone else ever had. I almost failed him. Again."
"Again?"
He closed his eyes. "I feel like I failed him by not seeing how poor his mental health was, that he saw fit to murder Draco. I may have kept him alive, but I failed Lily when I didn't protect him from himself."
"We all failed him. The healers at St. Mungo's say he is not even trying to work at his rehabilitation and that he's suicidal. The only time he responds is when Ginny visits. When he's medically stable, they're moving him to the Janis Thickey ward."
He shook his head sadly. Yet another piece of bad news for Hermione. "Don't tell…"
"No, absolutely not. She has too much on her plate as it is. The Minister has said Ginny can visit three times a week until we get him out of this slump. We'll handle it without your apprentice."
"Tell Miss Weasley not to tell her."
"Already been done."
"Have you heard anything on the next up Weasley?"
"He's taken to studying and reading, one of the few things that he's allowed to do. Now that most of the Death Eaters have been scattered around the world, he can breathe a bit. He wants to study for and take his NEWTs in prison."
He shook his head in amazement. "No kidding. So this is what it took for him to finally take his studies seriously."
The Mediwitch entered with a vial of Dragon's Tail acquired from St. Mungo's.
"Miss Granger is brewing more?"
"Yes, as we speak."
"Good. When they brought this dose, they requested another two cauldrons worth."
She stopped and eyed the two professors.
"Give you a good bollocking, did she?"
"Yes, she certainly did."
"Good."
The Mediwitch left and the Headmistress stood up. "I think I'll go check on Miss Granger. You get some rest, I am sure you are tired now that I made you search your soul so deeply."
Severus dipped his head towards her. "Thank you. For calling it like you saw it. I needed that and I appreciate it."
"You're welcome, Severus. I will check in with you tomorrow, if not sooner."
After she left, he realized he was indeed quite tired and quickly fell asleep, remembering the feel of Hermione in his arms next to him and longing to hold her close like that again.
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Hermione had just lifted the bubble charm off of the cauldron of Dragon's Tail brew when the Headmistress visited.
"Hello, Miss Granger. How are those coming?" She nodded towards the two silver cauldrons.
"The Reversal potion has four hours of cooling to go. The Dragon's Tail has four hours of simmering yet."
"Dragon's Tail and Dragon's Blood. Interesting, isn't it?"
"Yes, I suppose it is."
"Can I get you anything? Coffee, biscuits, tea? Have you eaten supper?"
"I had an elf bring me supper around five thirty. Tea and biscuits would be wonderful."
After they had each drank a cup of tea and eaten a few biscuits, Hermione inquired about who would cover the professor's classes until he was able to return to teaching. She learned that Professor Slughorn had agreed to fill in for two weeks.
The brunette frowned and shook her head. "The only year I struggled in potions was when I had him for a professor. I couldn't understand why Harry was suddenly doing better than me, but it was because he had Professor Snape's old textbook with all his notes in it."
"Oh, is that so? Well, Severus will be back at it very soon and then Professor Slughorn will go back into retirement."
After the Headmistress had left to go upstairs, Hermione resumed her spot on the stool in front of the cauldrons. She hoped Slughorn would not try to dump all his work on her. She had at least two more cauldrons of Dragon's Tail to harvest for and brew, plus Invigoration draught, Strengthener and Bloodbuilder to prepare for Severus. Not to mention that the twice retired professor just plain gave her the creeps.
The moment the twelve hour charm sounded, she hurriedly bottled the Reversal and flooed up. Severus was sitting up waiting for her, as she had sent him a patronus a few moments earlier. She applied a generous amount to gauze and handed the rest of the vial to him. While he drank all but the last few drops, she applied the gauze directly to his dark mark.
Madame Pomfrey was hanging back, with Luna and an emergency basket, on alert and ready to snap into action in case he had a poor reaction. Professor McGonagall was also present.
As his left forearm alternated between burning and freezing, he grabbed Hermione's hands and she sat on the bed next to him. After several minutes, the sensations stopped. He pulled the gauze away and then held up his arm for her to see.
"Severus! It's gone!"
He touched his forearm where it was, barely comprehending that the mark that had been a curse to him for over two decades was finally banished.
He was free.
He had been free since the Dark Lord had died, but now he truly felt it for the first time. The mark that would have cursed him to die on the one year anniversary of its creator's death was gone. Now he wasn't certain to die on that day.
His heart could heal from the venom damage, thanks to a potion of his own creation.
Now he was free to spend the rest of his life however and with whomever he chose. It just so happened that a certain brunette now curled up next to him on the cot was exactly who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
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Nope, not the end! Let me know what you all think, I love reviews! I know I took some risks with this chapter.
I'm headed back to work tonight. Hopefully, my knee will tolerate twelve hours. After this, I probably will not be posting chapters quite as much as I did this week.
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I changed the description of this story to say assault instead of rape because I got a very creepy anonymous review on another story of mine. (The Hero of China Will Not Be So Easily Defeated) It was glorifying rape and it was gross. Of course I deleted it and set the guest reviews to moderate. I figured in case this creep is doing keyword searches with that word, they won't pop up. I will reset the guest reviews off of moderate soon, when I quit barfing.
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