Simon looked around my room avoiding me, there wasn't a lot for him to actually look at so it was obvious he was stalling. I took a step closer, "I was there. The day you told Sally all those things at the bar." I said quietly staring at the ground as a moment passed I looked up at Simon who seemed horrified. I felt a sting behind my eyes blinking it away I whispered "I'm sorry." His expression never changed I'd hurt him. "I-I didn't mean to." I took a deep breath before continuing, "My friend just took us to a bar, you were there I saw you with Sally. We sat nearby you weren't really paying attention. I heard the whole story; about the guy who's house you tried to burn down." Simon still said nothing so I continued, "I remember that night at the bar, I remember helping you. We left after you finished the story and I'm so sorry okay. I just-I was curious Simon." I blurted everything out hoping that he would forgive me. My heart was beating fast as I waited for his response. Simon had started to stare at the ground patting his hair he had hardly moved, I took a step closer reaching out my hand. "Simon, please." It was barely audible but I prayed he heard me. He suddenly moved to the door. My throat tightened, I did this. I fucked up. I choked out as he left. "Simon even if you hate me, we still have to talk what about Sally. We can't leave her there." He paused for a minute and I was full of hope when he turned his head slightly. "I'll figure something out." He rushed off leaving me alone, and it really hurt.

Simon and I hadn't really talked since then Nathan's funeral but with community service together it was hard to pretend everything was alright. So I was thankful for Kelly's distraction. "It could be a trap." Simon said simply. Kelly had been hit with a paper airplane this morning while having a smoke and it was the current conversation topic. "Right. We're here five minutes and someone's setting a trap for us. It's too early for this bullshit." Alisha rolled her eyes. "How could they set up a trap in a graveyard?" I looked at Simon sarcastically when Curtis spoke up "It's a wind-up. Who uses a paper airplane?" Kelly was annoyed "Well who ever it is they're going to get a slap." It was kind of a dick move to leave such a cryptic message but in the end it didn't really matter. "I don't think you should slap them." Simon looked over at her concerned when Curtis suddenly scoffed "With her it's like saying hello." Kelly stood up ready to start a fight "Are you trying to say something?" She stepped closer to Curtis who managed to say a quick "No," before the door to the community center suddenly opened. A guy walked out towards us bored expression on his face when Alisha let out a quick "Who are you?" His voice came out flat "I'm your new probation worker." Alisha tilted her head not happy with the sudden change "What happened to the other one?" My eyes quickly fell to the floor as the man responded. "Apparently she's missing or something. Now, this is where I'm supposed to make a big speech about you paying your debt to society and making a difference. But seriously, we've all got things we'd rather be doing." Man he really cares doesn't he I thought quietly to myself as he continued, "See your mates? A little drug use? Making love to your beautiful Italian girlfriend? I'm talking about me. Now, let's just get through it and get out of here, all right?" He left us alone expecting us to just follow him in. "That's different." Curtis nodded to the new probation worker, "At least he cut out all the bullshit." I replied already following him inside done with the conversation.

We walked into the center to some calming music playing whilst a group of people stood around some art easels sketching some fruit. Confused Curtis questioned the new probation worker "Who are they?" He bent down as he responded getting close to my ear causing me to flinch. "It's an art therapy class." He moved away probably prepared to go to his office. "Uhhh, you mean they're mentals?" Alisha called out almost in shock. "You want to say that a bit louder? I don't think the weird-looking one heard you." His face was right next to hers it seemed a bit unorthodox. "Just try and treat them with some sensitivity and respect." He turned to look at us again before pointing at a woman near the back, "Even that one. Think you can manage that?" I noticed a young woman started staring at us, I turned my head and noticed it was Simon who was string straight back at her. I felt a little annoyed but it was so stupid. He won't even talk to me why should I care if he looks at her. I turned my attention back to Curtis who had started to talk. "So, what do you want us to do?" The probation worker looked around the center for a minute before pointing at a mural nearby, "For starters, paint over that piece of shit." He turned back to us with a sarcastic smile before walking off once again. I turned around to look at the others just as Simon quickly ran into the locker room I rolled my eyes at his sudden disappearance and got to work.

After we had finished our service for the day we headed for Nathan's grave like the note had told us. There was nothing there. We stood in silence for a moment look at our friends name engraved in stone. "This is a complete waste of time." Alisha huffed and started to walk off. Curtis quickly followed leaving Kelly, Simon and I awkwardly standing there alone. "Kelly," I said softly worried about her, this really was a cruel joke. She looked up at me and Simon and started to walk away with us when she suddenly shouted out. "He's alive." We called Alisha and Curtis back and started to dig up Nathan's coffin. "You know, I'm beginning to get a bit sick of digging up graves." I said annoyed as the others opened up the coffin lid. Nathan was lying there looking just like he had at the funeral. It was hard to look at him lifeless when he'd once been unable to sit still. Curtis looked over at Kelly confused but mostly sad. "He's dead." She just shook her head "I heard him. He was knocking one out." Simon nodded at her statement "That does sound like him." I looked back down at Nathan. He was dead wasn't he? You don't just survive being impaled by a fence. "You just wanted to hear him. He's gone." Alisha spoke softly. Kelly slowly bent down and went to touch his neck, possibly to feel his pulse when suddenly Nathan sat up screaming. Immediately the rest of us stepped back trying to rush away. Finally it clicked in our heads. "What the fuck?" Curtis said turning back around holding his shovel out like a weapon as Nathan who was very much alive and well laughed. "You should see your faces. Classic! Guess what?" He paused for a moment looking around at the rest of us still trying to recover from the shock, "I'm immortal! Can you believe this shit? I told you I had a power."

Nathan stood up stretching I looked over at Kelly wondering how she was handling this, honestly she seemed pissed. "Looks like they saved the best for last. Immortality. That's off the A list." And she rushed forward to start hitting him shouting out as she did "You stupid wanker!" Nathan turned around shocked trying to stop her "Stop hitting me!" Kelly hadn't quite calmed down "I thought you were dead!" He seemed to look at her in confusion as she slowly stopped. The rest of us just watching the awkwardly as she starting speaking again. "So if you're not dead, how come you smell so bad?" Nathan swiveled his head around almost proud as he proclaimed "I appeared to have shat myself." The rest of us let out groans of disgust when Alisha called out annoyed "Were you having a wank in there?" Nathan started to walk around looking up at the sky "So what if I was? A man can't enjoy a quick shuffle in his own coffin? It's not like I was expecting visitors." He seemed to remember Simon was present as he turned around "And you, you little freak! What was that on the roof of the community center?" Nathan waved his arms about as he complained to Simon who could only quietly try and explain himself. "I was trying to save you." Nathan seemed even more irritated by his response. "Well, you failed. Spectacularly, didn't you?" After he finished he turned to the rest of us rubbing his stomach, "I need to eat. Has anyone got a kebab?" Everyone looked at him while I blurted out. "Who the fuck brings a kebab to the cemetery." Before Nathan could mock me or anything Simon spoke up holding something in his hand to Nathan. "Do you want some chewing gum?" despite it being the only offer he'd gotten Nathan screwed up his nose "Tutti-frutti?" He stared at Simon in disbelief. "I like it." was all he got out before Nathan took the gum out of his hands and starting opening it up, "Man. That was a bad scene in there. I thought I'd starve to death." Nathan shoved a stick of gum in his mouth desperately. "You're immortal, you can't starve to death." Curtis said annoyed, Nathan really hadn't changed at all.

The next day Nathan showed up for community service with the rest of us and had started telling us about what happened with his mum. "So, my mum opens the door and she's like-" He made a strange screaming noise while waving his arms in the air "I'm like, 'I'm immortal!' Then she fainted. Face-plants on the radiator. There's blood and teeth everywhere." He stopped the story right there prompting me to question him "Is she all right?" He nodded his head "Yeah, yeah she's fine. She's fine. Apart from the whole face. Kinda put a downer on the whole thing." Kelly looked at him almost worried to ask "How did you tell it to your dad?" Nathan dramatically spoke up "I told him I faked my death as part of an elaborate life insurance scam. He was not a happy man." Suddenly the new probation worker walked in casually "Who are you?" He asked giving Nathan a once over. Unfazed Nathan looked over at us "I could ask you the same thing." Caught of guard when he answered "I'm the probation worker." Nathan turned around with a smile introducing himself "Oh, Nathan. Nathan Young." He stuck his hand out but the other guy wouldn't take it "They told me you were dead." Nathan faked a confused reaction "Really? Apparently not. Could a dead man do this?" He started to dance waving his arms about as the probation worker took a step back. "Well, I'll put you back in the system." This caught Nathan's attention as he cried out "What? I was out of the system? I was a free man? If I didn't show up, no-one would've look for me?" Shrugging his shoulders as he walked off the probation worker lifted his eyebrows "We thought you were dead."

We were preparing to continue with painting over the mural while Nathan told us a story when Kelly randomly spoke out "Do you know her?" Looking up I saw Simon had joined the rest of us, "No." Alisha spoke up next laughing "Are you trying to shag her?" Nathan's eyebrows shot up, "She's not that mentally ill." I rolled my eyes annoyed still trying to decide if I should help Simon out or if I was still to petty. "Or maybe she is." Nathan said looked over at the girl before speaking even louder, so the girl could hear him clearly "No offence. A lot of people say I'm mentally ill. Obviously I'm not, cause I'm here, and you're there. With the other crazies." Everyone seemed to move on, even Simon didn't stop him. I couldn't help the feeling that something was wrong though. The girl looked like she was about to cry as I stepped away from the group and towards her she started to roughly scratch out her drawing. I stopped a few feet away not wanting to offend her speaking quietly so the others wouldn't notice "He isn't worth it hunny, neither of them." I gave a small smile while the girl just stared at me in response, seeming angry by what had just happened. I turned and walked away leaving her to seethe on her own.

I was walking towards the bathroom with Kelly talking about what had been happening recently when Nathan suddenly started to argue at Kelly. "Hey, I've never had any complaints, well maybe a few. Perhaps it wouldn't be a problem if you didn't have a massive fanny." I just looked at Nathan in shock, what the fuck was he on about. "What are you talking about?" Kelly said defensively. He was literally calling her a whore. This was something she was actually insecure about what does he think he's doing? "I'm talking about your jumbo size twat." Kelly seemed hurt as she shouted back at him "I fucking hate you sometimes!" She rushed off pushing past me. Nathan shouted after her, "You started it! I have feelings. And so does my cock!" I sent him a glare when he turned to look at me, "What?!" I huffed turning to follow Kelly "You can be a real dickhead Nathan."

I had found Kelly as well and Alisha, together we were trying to help console Kelly when we heard some banging and shouting coming from the corridor. I walked around a corner to find Curtis screaming at Simon who he had pushed against the wall. Without thinking about the fact that we no longer spoke or anything I ran up and shoved Curtis off him "What're you doing!" Curtis didn't respond but I was no longer paying attention to him, Simon was bleeding. Shocked I turned to Curtis "Did you hit him?" Curtis turned to Alisha desperately trying to explain why he'd done it "He attacked Alisha." However she seemed annoyed at her boyfriend too "No he didn't." I rolled my eyes turning to Simon. "Are you gonna be alright?" He seemed surprised when I talked as if he'd forgotten I was there. He quickly nodded obviously just very stressed about what was going on right in front of him. "I am sorry." I said my gaze stuck on the floor. "I didn't mean to hurt you or nothing." Simon seemed ready to reply when Alisha spoke up and everything went quiet. "I think he's been wanking over me." We all just stared at her for a moment trying to understand what exactly she was saying. Simon wasn't happy and practically growled out "I haven't!" Nathan who had just been sitting there watching everything unfold suddenly spoke up "It's not very convincing." I had yet to move when Kelly looked over at Simon confused. "She gave you a blow job?" Kelly blurted out.

Wow. This is a lot to take in. Simon and Alisha, what is happening. "What" Alisha agreed taken back. "I read his mind. He says you sucked him off." I turned to see Simon frozen while Curtis started shouting again "What the fuck is going on?" In an attempt to convince us she hadn't been anywhere near Simon she rather harshly commented "If I was going to suck someone's cock, trust me, it wouldn't be his." Simon looked down at the ground obviously upset and confused while Nathan just made it worse. "Are you going to cry?" Simon's face started to change then though. He started to angry. "Just be straight with us. Did she give you a nosh?" Kelly said trying to get to the bottom of it, Simon just gave a little nod either scared that someone would attack him again or confused about what had really happened. "Whoever that was sucking your cock, it wasn't me." She cried out frustrated. Suddenly it seemed to click for Curtis who turned to me. "You!" He pointed straight at me, "That's it isn't it. You shape shift, you turned into Alisha sucked his dick. Now you feel guilty that's why you've been so fucking quiet." As he spoke he kept taking steps towards me causing me to back into the wall. "No!" I managed to get out looking at Kelly in desperation begging her to back me up. "Mate calm down, it wasn't her she's been with me the whole time." I breathed a quick sigh of relief glad to no longer have anyone blaming me.

Nathan started to stand up point at Simon, "Something weird's going on. I guess it's your fault." However as he did the tarp on the wheelbarrow he'd been using as a seat moved. I could see Sally's arm. Beside me Simon turned around hands on his head stressed, he seemed ready to cry as I let out a quiet "Fuck." as Nathan pulled the rest of it away revealing her frozen face. "Is that the probation worker?" Kelly asked unable to look away. Curtis however turned to Simon "You killed her?" Simon turned around prepared to explain but I quickly stepped forward worried what would happen to him. "She was after us. She found out about us killing the first probation worker." The other seemed annoyed at the secret Alisha was the first to find her voice. "What, so you kill her? That's brilliant. Problem solved!" Simon once again looked horrified as he tried to explain what had happened the night he'd killed her "She was going to the police. I didn't mean to kill her. I-i-it was an accident." Simon honestly sounded like he was on the verge of tears, when I spoke up trying to explain some more. "She had proof, a stupid recording of Nathan saying we killed him. She bashed his head on one of the mirrors tried to escape. He had too." Curtis turned away but still questioned me. "How do you know so much about it then." I didn't know how explain what had really happened especially considering not even Simon knew why I was still at the community center that night. "I walked in as it happened, helped him clean up move the body." Nathan turned to Simon in disgust "He's a weird little psycho, and now everyone knows it." He then turned to walk away as Kelly shouted after him. "Don't walk away. This is on all of us." Curtis pushed away from the wall pissed off "I thought we were through with this shit."

Suddenly the toilet flushed and the door opened, we all turned to it in shock as Nathan walked out. "I don't know what is going on with my guts. It's all hot cross buns and Easter Eggs when Jesus gets resurrected." We all stared at him in shock. "That wasn't Nathan?" Simon said confused. "Whoever it was, they know we killed our probation workers." Curtis said dread in his voice. I had no idea what we could do about this. Someone knew. Nathan suddenly noticed the body on the floor "Did someone kill our probation worker? Seriously? I spend a few hours in the toilet and I miss all that? Life is just passing me by." Alisha turned to look at me, "Well you're here so who was that just now?" Simon was petting his hair blood still on his face "I think it's another shape shifter." He said sounding tired. "I saw this exact thing in an episode of Star Trek." Curtis let out an annoyed sigh "Should watch more science fiction stuff might actually figure out what's going on round here." Nathan suddenly turned to Kelly regret and realization on his face. "So that wasn't you who said those very hurtful things about the size of my cock? Then you're probably wondering why I said you had a huge fanny. There may have been a bit of a mix-up." Kelly crossed her arms but didn't say anything. "We should set up a password, that we can say to each other so we know it's us." Simon said quietly trying to fix his collar. "Monkey slut" Nathan blurted out pointing at the rest of us. "We're not having 'monkey slut' as a password." Alisha said leaning against the wall. I was ready for this day to be over too, it was just getting to be far too much. "What are the chances of that being used in a normal conversation? Kinda low, no?" Nathan said looking at each of us trying to get someone to agree before locking eyes with Kelly who sighed. "Just go with it. 'Monkey slut'."

We had been walking around as a group trying to find anyone else still in the building discussing who could possibly be the new shape-shifter. When suddenly the girl from the art therapy classes rounded a corner and ran off. "Lucy" Simon called out as he started to rush after her and Alisha let out a sassy "Or her." As we all went through the doorway after Lucy we ran straight into the new probation worker swinging his lanyard around. "I will see you tomorrow." Nathan who had stopped right in front of him nodded his head sarcastically. "Good one. Very convincing." Curtis panicked "It's not her." Gathering the rest of us in a little circle he started to quickly explain the future he'd just witnessed where we'd killed yet another probation worker. He took a step towards us confused "What's going on?" We quickly separated as Nathan let out a quiet "Nothing." He looked suspiciously at us but ultimately decided he didn't care "You're obviously lying. But it's five o'clock and I couldn't give a shit." He walked off waving his hand, "Have a good one!" As he turned the corner we all rushed into the office where Curtis said she'd be only to find nothing "Where's she?" he said confused when I noticed a mouse on the floor. "Shit. She's a mouse!" The mouse ran behind a filing cabinet and into a mouse hole. Simon got on the ground and tried to reach in but it was useless. Nathan suddenly turned to the rest of us exclaiming "Get some cheese!" I rolled my eyes and started to explain. "It doesn't work like that you fucking idiot." Curtis turned around to me. "Wait, can you do that too?" I knew what he was going to suggest. I was going to have to follow her in there. "I mean, technically yes but even then I can't force her to come out or anything." I groaned really not looking forward to what they were going to make me do.

I had followed Lucy into the hole specifically turning into a white mouse so I wouldn't end up killed if I couldn't get her out. The boys were all standing around the hole and they were supposed to be prepared to attack if I ever got her out. I had been unable to actually communicate with her or anything and had been heading out surprisingly with her following when I saw Curtis holding his bat out at Nathan's face who simply said "I didn't do anything be angry with him. Curtis turned to Simon. He was pissed. I quickly ran out of the hole transforming back into myself right in front of Curtis. Glaring at him ready to fight him if he tried to punch Simon again when suddenly Nathan cried out "Mouse!" The boys unsuccessfully tried to smash her and she ended up running down the hallway as we started to give chase Curtis called out to the other girls "Split up! Find her!"

I had been silently walking around the center trying to find Lucy and after 5 minutes of not running into anyone despite the lack of room in the center I started to panic. I called out to the others occasionally saying their names hoping someone would respond. Nothing. Eventually I wound up at the locker room, hearing a commotion inside I rushed in to see Kelly holding a plastic bag over Curtis' face. Simon urgently spoke trying to stop Kelly from murdering yet another person "We can't kill her." Kelly looked up still struggling with the bag and who apparently wasn't Curtis at all but Lucy "She knows too much." After a moment of struggling Simon shouted at Kelly "STOP," and the lights stopped. We were engulfed darkness, I heard some footsteps despite the fact no one should have been able to see anything and Kelly suddenly starting talking "What was that?" Nathan replied confused. "Is something happening?" There was some choking noises and suddenly the lights turned back on. Simon got a phone call. Kelly took a step towards him "Who is it?" Curious I took a step forward as well when Simon darkly replied "It's you." Suddenly she lunged forward and smashed his head into a locker. Now there was a hell of a lot more blood. She transformed back into Lucy and Simon looked up at her confused. "Why are you doing this?" She looked pained as she responded "These new friends you've made. They've turned you against me. I know what I need to do now." She said as she lowered herself to the ground and started to brush her hand along the side of his face. "You're going to walk into the police station and confess to murdering your probation worker. They'll lock you up in the unit. We'll be together again." She wouldn't take her eyes off Simon so I slowly started to walk closer as she kissed him. Suddenly she stood up turning to me much to my own surprise, "I didn't want to hurt you, but I'll do whatever I have to." I prepared myself to be hit but instead she pushed me back into one of the lockers. My head hit the corner causing a second of intense pain before I just blacked out.

I woke up to find Kelly looking at me. "Hey you alright mate?" I sat up rather fast causing my head to spin. "What happened. Don't tell me it's too late." I looked over at Kelly who was ready to grab me in case I fell over. "Lucy she-she's gonna confess as Simon. We gotta stop her Kelly please." Kelly just gave a little laugh "It's alright, Simon stopped her, he came back we just gotta make sure you and Nathan are alright." Nathan who had been removed from the pole previously impaling him looked over at us upon hearing his name. "Oh hey look, she isn't dead. Told you everything was gonna work out in the end didn't I Barry. I mean come on I died and this time I didn't even shit my pants!" Nodding my head I looked between everyone. Seeing I was alright Curtis turned to walk away "Come on, we still got to deal with the body." Groaning as I remembered about Sally we all made our way to the freezer she had been shoved back into. We all looked down at her silent, almost like a moment of respect. Except we killed her. And no one really had any respect. Nathan broke the silence as he made a discovery "Cornettos!" Alisha turned to him eyebrow quirked but decided to ignore it and told the rest of us "Come on let's just get this over and done with." No one could be bothered actually digging a grave so we decided just to toss the body into the lake outside the community center. Nathan was eating his ice cream talking about what he was going to do using his immortality to make money. I was falling asleep as we rowed to the center of the lake when the conversation drifted to a stranger in a mask who had come in and saved Curtis from being suffocated by Lucy. Nathan was also tired of all the drama that'd been happening "Haven't we done enough for one week? We almost killed another probation worker. You had your first blow job. I died again. It's nearly the weekend, let's just dump her and worry about that stuff next week. Or maybe even the week after that." I lifted up my head a little "He's right, we deserve a bloody break and a good one at that." Simon and Kelly looked at me concerned before nodding their heads anything to move on I guess. Suddenly the boat stopped moved. "Here's fine" Curtis said as he started to move the body. With a splash it was done. Now if we could just refrain from killing our latest probation worker.

*This chapter is based on Season 2 Episode 1 of British Television Drama Misfits I wrote it purely out of passion so it isn't perfect or an attempt to steal any works from Howard Overman or anyone else*