We were all doing our daily routine of standing in the locker room getting ready for the day waiting for Shaun to tell us what we would be doing that day when he came in excited, "Big news. You're gonna be doing some gardening." It actually didn't seem too bad considering some of the other things we had been told to do. Still Alisha who was sitting next to me called out unimpressed, "Gardening?" Shaun turned around to face her and in turn me. "Uh, I had a call from this guy at Wertham General." his eyebrows came together mimicking concern "He's got some weeds need weeding, got plants need planting." Gesturing to us he continued "I said, "Yes, mate. I'll put my top people right on it."
Rudy scoffed "I'd got meself geared up for dog shit, here, mate. I thought we were doing dog shit, man." What an idiot, "You would seriously rather clean dog shit than Garden?" my voice dripping with sarcasm. Shaun gave him a look basically asking what drugs are you on, causing a quick change in tune, "It's... it's fine." Shaun shook his head "Tools are in the storeroom, hospital's that way." Walking off leaving us alone to go find our own tools. "Fuckin' gardenin'." Kelly muttered. I shrugged my shoulders, "Far better in my opinion."
We slowly trickled out of the changing room when Curtis whispered to the rest of us, "What's he doing here?" I looked over and saw Seth pacing in the lobby area. Simon spoke next "Do you think he's here to take our powers?" He, Curtis, Rudy and I leaned our heads over to see better. Rudy shook his head lightly in agreement "It's the law of the jungle, kill or be killed." At that moment Seth turned towards us and let out an awkward greeting. In panic I waved slightly, missing Rudy's charge up he ran towards Seth and attempted to tackle him. "You motherfucker! What's that?" Seth cried out in surprise, but after that Rudy was screwed. Over the next couple of seconds we listened to him "Ha-ha! No, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I've made a mistake, I've made... Argh! Sorry. He's got me. Help me or he's gonna break it." I rolled my eyes finally ready to tell Seth to stop when Kelly finally came out of the changing room. "What the fuck are you doing? Why are you here?" Alisha also came out looking at me with a mix of surprise and excitement for Kelly. Seth just looked around awkwardly before stuttering "Er... Um... I just came to see if you wanted to go for a drink." Eyebrows raised there was an immediate change to happiness in the group and we left Seth and Kelly to talk whilst we prepared to head to the hospital.
The instructions weren't particularly clear so we had to talk to the staff. A group decision was to keep Rudy away from the staff given how rash he would act leaving me and Alisha asking for supplies. The nurses were nice enough pointing us towards a shed nearby with weeding tools and a few plants. It didn't take too long to move but it wasn't fun and eventually most of us were sitting the ground quietly digging. Rudy didn't seem to like the silence, "I wonder what happens when he, er... when he shags you." Everyone stopped to look at him. Clearly he was speaking to Kelly. "Reckon he takes your powers?" He just continued no worries about how strange and rude the question was, "Maybe that's it, right? Maybe he gets his kicks from just going round, shagging girls and stealing their powers, hmm?" There was a kind of shock in the group. "Why would he do that?" Simon asked of course there was no real answer. "ldunno." Rudy scratched his nose before continuing, "Why... Why does Richard Saunders film himself crapping out of trees?" At that point I could see Kelly getting annoyed and exasperatedly asked, "Who's Richard Saunders?" Hoping for at least a change in topic if he had to talk. But no luck, "A friend. Just promise me one thing, you'll make him wear a condom." I rolled my eyes but Kelly seems to be sick of him, shouting before storming off to the hospital. "Can you just shut up about him?" I glanced between the two ready to follow her and make sure she was alright when Simon grabbed my arm and shook his head lightly. I relaxed my body a little but couldn't keep myself from wondering.
Kelly never did come back. It was a long walk back to the community center and after a few more hours of gardening it was clear that Kelly wasn't gonna reappear what Rudy said must have really affected her. I had left Simon to get some snacks from the vending machine and went to talk to Alisha about our missing friend. "Hey, you haven't seen Kelly have you?" Alisha didn't look up continuing to shove her suit in her locker. "Not since we went to the hospital why?" I looked around concerned feeling a little foolish about my concerns. "Rudy said some things to her about Seth, I haven't seen her since." She fixed her hair a little in the mirror and then turned around to me, "Not surprising he's a bit of a dick she probably just needs time to cool off she'll be back tomorrow. If you're that worried call her or something." I nodded and smiled a thanks before I walked back off to find Simon and see what he thought.
I walked past Shaun eating a Twix and suddenly desperate for my own chocolate rushed towards Simon who was talking to Rudy. "For fuck's sake. It wasn't even me, it was him." I walked up behind the two loudly announcing my presence. "Who?" They both jumped though Simon quickly recovered, Rudy let off a large string of curses and turned to glare at me. "Oh stop overreacting," I shot him a look "Who got you in trouble?" Although he wasn't happy with me talking about himself was one of Rudy's favorite things to do. "Who d'you think? This whiny little prick in here." He started to walk towards the office pointing at his chest, "The other me. I was seeing this girl, right. Nice girl, Dutch-Irish. Had a webbed foot. Left foot, fine. Right foot, just a little bit creepy. Maybe... Might have been the other way around." I sighed at the irrelevant information, Simon watched him but I felt Rudy would keep talking even if no one was paying attention. "Anyway, so we have this great big row, we end up breaking up. Honestly, I weren't that bothered cos there's plenty more fish in the sea and all that. She couldn't wear flip-flops. Because of the web, she had no toe-groove." Usually stories were interesting but I was bored and cut him off to ask Simon about my chocolate. "Oh I'm sorry, Shaun took it cause it was the last one." I groaned at being denied the treat and started deliberating where to get the chocolate I wanted. However Rudy coughed and just continued his story.
"Anyway, so we split up. You know, she's really angry, starts running her mouth off, all gets a little bit personal. Honestly, dude, I were fine wi' it, mate. Not him." Rudy pointed at his chest animatedly again. "He starts getting himself all upset, ends up trashing her car, she rang the police. Boom." He created a fake explosion with his hands and stops walking turning to Simon who responded. "So that's why you're on community service?" This time Rudy pointed at Simon, "Yes! Y-Yes. He did it, I took the rap. I'm totally innocent." I made a sound of sarcastic agreement but Rudy didn't understand excitedly looking at me. "Yes." Suddenly he spun around back to Simon, "We should write a campaign song. Do some wristbands." My mouth was slightly a gape at the suddenness of it all and the fact that Simon's face was now being squished by Rudy. "You, you're very clever, aren't you, eh?" Simon couldn't say anything as Rudy seemed to have remember my presence, "And people are always in need of a nice looking lady to keep them distracted." The door to the office opened and a woman glanced between the three of us before calling for Rudy. He groaned and went in leaving me and Simon alone. "He is a bit much isn't he." I sighed walking towards the exit. Simon laughed and we both headed out ready to find some chocolate before returning home.
The next morning was not peaceful, I had spent most of it feeling nauseated before throwing up at the community center. I tried to remain casual but Simon caught my arm as I left the toilets. "This isn't normal, can you please just go to the doctor." I sighed hating the idea of going to a doctor over something so trivial but nodded to appease Simon, not wanting him to worry. We walked back into the locker room just in time for Rudy's big appearance. "Right, has anyone seen the other me?" He looked around at us only to find a room full of disinterested stares. "He didn't come home last night, you know." Simon walked in front of me, "No, sorry." Rudy placed a hand on his shoulder as an act of reassurance "It's fine. I just... I feel weird when he's not inside me, know what I mean?" Simon's eyes went wide and Curtis turned to look at him a single eyebrow raised. "I d... Not that kind of "inside me. Don't do that." He glared at us as I scoffed. Alisha turned around looking at me, "Kelly's not here either." She sounded confused and my eyes widened at the fact I'd forgotten. "Shit! You know what this means, don't you, right?" Rudy called all attention to him and I rolled my eyes. "Kelly and the other me, they're fucking." Agitated I practically growled at him, "You're the reason she ran off idiot. No way she'd ever consider fucking you after what you said about Seth." Curtis stood forward suddenly concerned, "She didn't show up for her date last night." There was no time to process as Shaun's footsteps were heard. "Right. You lot can fuck off back to the hospital." He turned his head slightly to Rudy, "Except you. Your shrink's here." Rudy groaned "Again?" I wondered why he never seemed like the easy way out as he complained about gardening instead of picking up dog shit. Shaun seemed prepared to go back to his office not interested in Rudy's complaints when he turned around. "Oh, hold up. Where's the other one?" I was surprised he never caught on to her not coming back yesterday but he isn't the most attentive, which usually worked out much better for us honestly. Alisha answered immediately "Oh, she just phoned me. She's not well." I quickly glanced at her, "She... She's got period pains." Simon added on as if he was trying to make the lie more believable. "Bad... ones." Shaun looked a little surprised but went on as if it was normal, "Don't you hate it when that happens? You know, when you get the really bad ones? Terrible." We all continued to stare at him as he held his hand over his stomach before he turned around. "Well... that's her in the shit." I let out my breath incredibly worried about where Kelly was pulling out my phone to call her as I should have done yesterday when Alisha mentioned it. I heard a muttering behind me as the line beeped and finally died out. "Fuck, Kelly isn't answering me." Alisha and Simon stepped closer to me, the worry in the group growing but there was nothing we could do for the time being.
With Rudy's therapy session done we headed to the hospital. I was on the ground pulling out weeds, Simon next to me digging for some of the newer plants. Alisha walked over a wheelbarrow filled with weeds heading for the dump when she suddenly started shouting. "Kelly?" I looked up and spotted our friend with her hair down a look I hadn't seen before but it was definitely her and started to shout out too. "Kelly!" She rushed into the hospital ignoring us. Alisha turned to look at me before letting out a casual "What the fuck does she think she's doing?" Simon spoke up next, "She didn't seem happy we should probably follow her seeing she didn't pick up the phone and all." I gathered my senses and nodded, "Yeah, let's be quick I want to know what is happening in her head." We walked into the hospital and looked around confused as to where she could have gone when we heard her voice shout out. We rushed and found her in a fight with a random man. We pushed the door open in a panic Simon shoved the man off as I shouted "Get off her!" He backed away and Kelly kept staring at him. "Are you OK?" Alisha asked trying to divert the attention. With the fight over Simon turned to the man and commanded him, "I think you should leave." He really had come a long way, I thought about how he would act when Nathan would pick on him. "Yeah, so do I." The man left and we all turned to Kelly, wanting to ask her a million questions but no idea where to start. "Come on, let's go." My voice was weak and I turned around at a loss of what to do. We walked back to the community center in silence not knowing how to deal with what had happened with Kelly.
I left with Simon wanting nothing more then to collapse in bed and forget about all the stressful things happening but shortly after arriving home my phone started to ring. I groaned and Simon laughed "It's fine I'll get it." I mumbled a thank you as he answered the call still laughing. The laughter quickly died down and a serious demeanor overtook him. I sat up immediately concerned about whoever was on the other line when he said we'd be there as fast as we can and turned to me. "Kelly... she's um- she's in hospital. Alisha used her powers." I jumped up and we both rushed to the hospital.
We had arrived to find Seth, Alisha and Curtis at the front death talking to the receptionist. "Check again. Kelly Bailey- five foot five, medium build." Seth sounded so desperate talking with her and we quicky joined the small group. "Sorry. It's not coming up with anything." The woman looked confused and maybe a little sorry when Alisha who was looking around the hospital called out. "It's the woman I saw. That way." We all immediately rushed off, Alisha in front when we slowed a little. "This is the room." She turned and we slowly trickled in. "OK. That's not Kelly." Simon voiced all of our confusion. I stood at a loss when Seth quietly spoke up, "Do it again." Alisha took a breath her body moving back a little as she used her power to see through Kelly's eyes. Her next words sounded panicked, "It's her. She's in there." Curtis seemed confused by the statement clearly indicating that the woman was Kelly somehow. "Who is?" She sighed looking at him, "Kelly. That's Kelly." We stood silent for a moment lost. "It's a body-swap. They must've switched places." Simon stepped forward to get a closer look. "Oh my god." I whispered. Stepping closer not wanting to be too far from Simon as if it would protect me from whatever weird power had done this to Kelly. Alisha seemed annoyed unable to do anything to help. "What are we gonna do about Kelly?"
Seth seemed ready to leave the room when a nurse entered "Oh. I didn't know she had visitors." She looked around at us "Are you family?" We all look different so the question seemed strange but Seth spoke up desperate for any news. "I'm her brother." She looked at us all concerned and called him out of the room. We all looked around waiting for Seth's return trying to avoid looking at Kelly even if it wasn't really her body it was still hard. Seth reentered the room looking devastated. "They're shutting her down." I felt my mouth drop "What?" He looked away "They're turning off her life support." We are screwed. Simon spoke up, "We need to steal the body." Alisha's eyes widen "What are you saying?" Simon turned to me looking for support and continued, "If she dies, Kelly dies." It was simple I nodded my head along with Seth, "OK, let's pack her up." Curtis shook his head, "And where we gonna take her?" Seth looked around at the group "The community center." I sighed a little the community center always seems to be in the middle of everything but I nodded, "Okay what do we do." Seth started pointing around the room commanding us. "Right, you take the beepy thing, the breathing thing and the piss-bag thing." We all set to go leaving Curtis to create a diversion for the nurse. We were going to steal her.
We had set her up in one of the rooms and were quietly waiting in the next one for Rudy's other half to bring the fake Kelly back. We were all very awkward and anxious when we heard shouting from the hallway. "No. You can't make me go back in there." We all rushed out with Seth in front only to discover Shaun having just entered. "Why is there a girl in a coma in the storeroom?" Fake Kelly rushed towards him a weapon in her hand, maybe he didn't see it as he tried to grab her shouting out. "Hey, you're going nowhere." Before he started struggling she had stabbed his stomach. "Fuck" I whispered to Simon feeling bile rise up in my throat. We all walked forward, I was little more slow due to the shock and Simon came up behind me to help me move forward. Slowly walking over to Shaun. We moved him so he was sitting up against the lockers. Watched somberly as he just lost more blood.
"You've called an ambulance, yeah?" His voice was quiet and for once he didn't seem sure of himself. "We should call an ambulance." I whispered to the rest of the group no one wanting to take their eyes of Shaun like we hadn't seen too much death already. Alisha was the first to respond, "We can't. They'll think it's Kelly, they'll arrest her." It was hard to decide what to do Rudy seemed to misunderstand what it seemed like to Shaun saying, "It weren't Kelly, though, were it?" Curtis folds his arms looking us in the eyes, "Yeah, well, try explaining that." Shaun spoke up confused "Why did she stab me? What did I ever do to her?" His breathing was deep, his questions childlike. It was hard to explain but Simon stepped forward, weird powers being his expertise. "That wasn't Kelly. She swapped bodies." His voice was soft, there really was nothing we could do for him. "We've kind of got these powers." Curtis spoke next followed by Alisha, "We're like superheroes." Shaun seemed to laugh a little but it died quickly his eyes slowly as he seemed to lose consciousness. Simon gestered to the two Rudy's "Show him." One step forward and they both held their arms out as they walked into each other "Come on. Just... come on." He was quietly words mumbled, "fuck?" Simon bend down close to him trying to reassure him, "You'll be fine." Shaun laughed though it sounded like he would start crying any moment. "I can't believe I never picked up on it. You bunch of dicks. Fucking superheroes." He coughed a little his body beginning to shake eventually his head fell on Simon's hand. Simon looked to us slowly standing up. He was dead. No one wanted to move but I stepped closer to him. What are we going to do now.
We were all sitting on some of the stairs in the building, Kelly had been alright and Seth had to go find the girl's boyfriend so he could say behind leaving just us alone when they went to the roof to talk. I leant against Simon, worried about how he would be reacting but he only placed an arm around me. Rudy spoke up looking at the rest of the center, "So does this make the power guy... one of the gang now? Cos... Oh, I don't know how I feel about that, you know." Curtis was bent slightly over "We're not a gang, man. This ain't primary school." For once I was kinda glad for Rudy's distraction. "What's his name anyway?" I felt Simon turn his head towards Rudy, "It's Seth." Leading to a repetition "Seth. Seth. 'All right, my name is Seth. Can I be one of your gang?'" The weird joke causing a little laugh. Maybe this would be okay.
*This chapter is based on Season 3 Episode 5 of British Television Drama Misfits I wrote it purely out of passion so it isn't perfect or an attempt to steal any works from Howard Overman or anyone else*