"She was an artist. She was a nice-nice girl. She was very pretty." Why the fuck are we listening to Rudy's latest sexual conquest? He then shook his head confused. "I-I actually don't remember." Curtis turned his head a little towards Rudy still facing his body towards the sea. "You can't remember someone you had sex with? Classy." Rudy took a step back "Well she was certainly happy with the service look at what ol' Rudy found in his Jeans this morning." He reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a yellow flyer with a number on the back. Simon always the nice one to indulge people asked questions, "So do you think you're gonna call her." I looked up at him from my seat and moved closer. He was on the edge of the fence so I couldn't sit next to him and instead rested my head on his leg. Rudy started to shake his head, "No, no I'm not. Let me tell you why. When you buy a dog, you know that one day it will grow old and it will die." Comparing women to dogs clearly off to a great start. "And you- you're just gonna be heartbroken, because you loved that dog that cheeky little scamp. Here's an idea, don't buy the fucking dog in the first place. Save everyone the hassle." Simon looked down at me nose screwed up, "Right." Rudy looked around for anyone who agreed. "It's better I break her heart now than in three years when we've brought furniture together. It's just the humane thing to do." With that he ripped up the flyer and threw it towards us. Alisha who had been lying on the seat next to me lifted her arm off her eyes, "Prick."

Rudy looked around confused, "What are we even doing today?" Curtis rolled his eyes finally turning towards us, "Nothing. Our probation worker is dead, again. I don't even know why we're here." Simon did a cough as a way of saying seriously and I spoke up. "If our probation worker goes missing, and we don't show up we're gonna look a lot more fucking suspicious then we already do." Rudy didn't seem to be listening as his head was turned away. He held out a finger and started shushing us like school children. "What was that?" Everyone except me turned their heads to see what Rudy was looking at, Curtis was the first to speak. "I can't hear nothing mate." Rudy didn't respond still pointing at nothing with one hand the other trying to keep us quiet as if we were making a noise. "There. That's it. It's the fucking Ice Cream van." He perked up turning to us hands pointing everywhere as he shouts "Who wants what!" Over and over. He started to run off calling us to come with him, I let my head fall back at the thought of running but dragged myself up looking back at the others. "Come on then, I could really do with some ice cream." We walked behind Rudy and found him banging on the window of Seth's car, shouting at Kelly and Seth about ice cream. I felt like knocking him on the side of the head but Rudy quickly began to run back off.

Curtis got to the van first probably because he didn't stop to harass our friends, and was quickly followed by Rudy running behind him. Rudy seem to be shouting but quickly quietened looking shocked. As Simon, Alisha and I caught up we heard Rudy repeating toppings to himself. Alisha stepped back just asking for a plain cone, the girl had turned away preparing the cone and ice lolly when Curtis suddenly transformed. He fumbled over an excuse as the girl turned around confused, handing them the cones while Simon and I stepped forward. "2 cones with flakes and some syrup." Looking for me to make my selection. "I'll just have the cone and flake no syrup thanks." The girl smiled but looked confused at Curtis. We got our cones and slowly walked back no need to rush anymore Rudy, Alisha and Curtis walking in front talking about the sudden transformation. "I know we just got ice cream but I really want a burger right now. Think we can just go grab one since no probation worker has shown up." Simon laughed a little agreeing that we could as long as we finished the ice creams first, suddenly he stopped walking, I looked at him as he zoned back in, quickly handed me his cone and went running into the male's bathroom.

When he came back out Rudy had joined him and he started to loudly shout about his dick falling off. I was not interested and quickly finished my ice cream before deciding heading off to get a burger from a nearby fish and chip shop. I asked around but seeing as everyone else was content with the ice cream I went alone. Simon was busy taping up the paper Rudy had ripped to help him with the number and with a quick warning to say safe I was off. It was peaceful being alone with my thoughts, especially given how hectic our lives really were. It wasn't a long walk and I found myself stopping on the way to get some candy and drinks at a corner store to go with the burger. There's no way you can eat a burger without something to wash it down and I just really wanted the candy. 15 minutes later I was eating my burger and looking out at the sea from the nearby park. With the time alone I finally was able to think about everything that was going on without worrying about others opinions. Simon was really concerned about my being sick and although I hadn't gone to the doctor yet the answer seemed to be staring me in the face. I hadn't had my period, I was sick and I was sitting here eating a burger which had been the only thing on my mind since I had decided I wanted it. I looked at the ring on my finger. Clearly it was okay and we were going to be okay, but something really worried me. No way a baby born from two people with powers would be okay even if we got them from a storm. What was I going to tell Simon.

Back at the community center it appeared that Simon and Rudy had left to go deal with that problem but we had gone inside now. I was sitting on the ground watching Alisha bet Curtis' ass at foosball. When he turned into a girl again. "Oh, hi." Alisha said with a smirk still on her face from the point she had just scored. Curtis groaned and started to complain. "I keep randomly changing, something is going wrong with my power." She sighed "And my tits are really sore." I lean back thinking to myself about it being another sign of pregnancy broke by Alisha calling out, "Is that supposed to be some sort of excuse for why you're so shit?" She laughed but it quickly died as Curtis continued to complain, "I'm serious. They're killing me, is that normal?" Alisha scrunched up her face confused allowing me to put my two cents in. "Well I'd say either you are pregnant or you are dying." Curtis flipped around stressed when Alisha interjected, "It is a sign of pregnancy I say we get you a test." So out we went again and I found myself staring at pregnancy tests wondering if I should grab one for myself as well.

I handed a test to Curtis my other hand in my pocket hiding my own box. I sat in the bathroom waiting with Alisha who was fixing her hair in the mirror. Curtis eventually called out to us, "It's not doing anything." Alisha didn't turn just shouted back, "Just wait, seriously you're so impatient." Eventually Curtis walked out once again a male, shock all over his face. "I'm pregnant." Shortly after we were sitting down Alisha looking a little fed up as Curtis kept rambling. "I'll just do another." She shook her head a little and sounded sympathetic when she spoke, "Don't waste your money on that. It'll just be the same. Face it Curtis, you're pregnant." He seemed to finally accept it turning to the two of us, "You better not tell anyone." I thought to my own test still hidden in my pocket. "I won't don't worry." Alisha looked him up and down, "Who's the father?" Curtis looked at the ground defeated, mumbling "I don't know." I looked at him skeptically, "How can you not know? How many men did you have sex with as a girl." Curtis seemed offended by that immediately crying out, "No one!" Alisha rolled her eyes, "It can't be no ones." She then seemed to have an idea "Didn't Rudy... try and get it on with you." Curtis seemed to realize this standing up and storming off presumably to call Rudy. I looked over at Alisha and back at my watch listening to Curtis shouting the fact he was pregnant. He then turned around "He says he didn't have sex with me." I looked up at him lost, "Then how are you pregnant." Alisha nodded, "These things don't just happen on their own." Curtis burst, "I know!" He sat down looking defeated when he lifted his head back up. "Oh, shit." I turned to him immediately along with Alisha, "What?"

We had moved to some more comfortable seats and I felt myself itching to just go home but I couldn't leave in the middle of this. Alisha was first to speak after the news. "So you are wanking off as a guy, then you switch and do it again as a girl?" He nodded his head and I lifted my head up, "Why?" Curtis looked away from us before answering "... it passes the time. And I -uh I think I used the same tissue to wipe up." It was quite shocking news and frankly neither of us knew what to say. Eventually Alisha spoke up, "That is so fucking rank." Curtis rolls his eyes, "Thanks for the sympathy yeah?" I groaned, "Do you deserve sympathy for this mess?" I earned myself a light smack on the head and quickly turned to glare, "Hey, I'm still helping you out dick." During the exchange Seth had walked up to the door calling over Alisha and I, "Are you pregnant?" Great so he found the test, I sighed though it was covered by her answer, "No I'm not pregnant." Seth looked between the two of us, "I just saw one of those pee stick things in the bathroom." Alisha was pretty loyal as she didn't blink before answering "No idea what you're on about." He turned to me and I shook my head lightly, "I haven't taken a pregnancy test." He walked off and I lent against the door. We turned around and Curtis was a girl again. "I'm sick of this." I sighed "Just switch back then." Alisha nodded going to sit down. "And stop complaining about it." Curtis sat up a little focusing but nothing happened. Again. "Fuck. I can't turn back."

Seth had guessed Kelly was pregnant. So she came and found us back on the stairs. I wanted to go home but it seemed a bit cruel to leave Curtis in a crisis. I decided to call Simon seeing as I wasn't getting many updates from him. "Hey Simon, how's your quest going?" He sighed before answering, "Unsuccessful. We haven't found the girl to fix Rudy, I think I know where she might be though." I nodded even aware that he couldn't see me. He continued though "How's Curtis? That seems really strange." I looked over at the three girls sitting down overlooking the room. "Oh you have no idea. Very busy day, I just want to go home and rest." Simon was sympathetic in reply, "You really should, I have no idea when I'll be back." Maybe he just felt bad about that. "All good, I'll see you when you do get back though. I love you." I bit my lip worried about what the rest of the day would bring. "I love you too. I'll see you soon." With a quiet bye I hung up and went to join the girls but Curtis seemed to have gotten sick of everything standing up and announcing, "I'm going home." I turned and looked at the other girls, Alisha shrugged her shoulders, "I just told him there was options." I nodded, "I should probably go too, Simon isn't coming back I am gonna go take a nap."

Of course I really just wanted to get home and try this test myself. At least I wouldn't have to worry about myself being the blood father. I felt a need to call Simon again, just to get some reassurance but you don't really tell your Fiancé you might be pregnant over a phone call while he's trying to save some other guys dick. So instead I went home, made myself some dinner and agonized over my test results. Because I was right and Curtis is not the only one who was pregnant. I lay down on our bed trying to think of how to tell him and what all this could mean and lead to when I drifted off. Simon arrived home quite late, I had fallen asleep waiting but the elevator woke me up. Simon walked in to me rubbing my eyes and presumably with a half red face due to the pressure. "Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to wake you." I shook my head. "No it's good, what happened?" Simon sighed as he sat down, slowly getting ready for bed taking off his shoes and clothes. "The girl did it cause he just used her as a one night stand. Rudy got in front of everyone turned off the music and apologized." I nodded, "That's good at least we know he isn't always a dick." I yawned wanting to fall asleep on Simon's shoulders he seemed to realize the story would not be remembered by me in the morning and shifted so we could both hop into bed properly.

So it turns out I did not tell Simon I was pregnant last night. Great news. It was a rush to get to the community center due to the late night and late start but when we were in the locker room waiting I laid down on the bench, trying to deal with the nausea without throwing up like Curtis was currently doing. Given my last couple of stunts it would definitely be noticeable and with pregnancy on the mind, it was all too easy to guess. Alisha slammed her locker shut and turned around to Kelly and I. "Where's Curtis?" Kelly shrugged "I don't know." Wanting nothing more then to throw up myself I spoke up "I think he's got morning sickness." Simon spoke matter-of-factly like the good old days with all his random facts. "Then he should eat ginger biscuits. Apparently it helps alleviate nausea." Fuck guess I'm getting some ginger biscuits. Rudy came in shouting about his dick being normal showing everyone exactly how healthy it now was, leading to everyone quickly turning away and me to loudly shout, "Man I'm about to throw up put that thing away." He rolled his eyes, "Thank you," it was sarcastic but he turned to Simon and gave a genuine thanks. Turning back to me "Your fiancé helped save my cock you know that?" I rolled my eyes, "Yes I did I was there, now stop flirting with him." He ignored me and started going on about High School Musical when his double showed up and he had to chase after him.

With that the girls left to go sit around the center as we still had no new probation officer and Simon came to sat with me. As he did I decided better late then never. "So Simon... you know that biscuit thing. You think that works?" I sat up at little so I could see him properly. "Yes, ginger is supposed to help." I made a sound of agreement trying to think of the best way to say it. "We should get some ginger biscuits then..." Simon turned to look at me concerned. "Everything okay? Are you feeling sick again." I guess not everyone can catch on immediately. Maybe it was just cause he was so worried. "Well I'm pregnant."

*This chapter is based on Season 3 Episode 6 of British Television Drama Misfits I wrote it purely out of passion so it isn't perfect or an attempt to steal any works from Howard Overman or anyone else*