We all stood together watching some cheerleaders who were practicing some routine leaving us out of the main room. 'Everyone was standing watching, us girls wanting to not stare at a wall, maybe a little to judge. Simon was more questionable even to the point Alisha was questioning him. "Is this turning you on?" He looked at her first then over to me, "No." Kelly followed his gaze before speaking up "You should get her one of those costumes, mate." She started to laugh, "One of those short little skirts." I rolled my eyes and Alisha scoffed at the idea "No way I'd dress up as a cheerleader." Kelly turned to look at me waiting for a response and Simon did too. I winked jokingly, "Maybe I'll do it for your birthday." Simon smirked and it seemed pretty obvious to me that I'd do anything for him if he asked so there was no point to the conversation. Curtis walked in, back to his usually self and no longer pregnant. "Cheerleaders?" he joined the line of spectators "Sweet!" The girls started to jump up and down and I quickly went to sit down feeling sick. I looked up again when Kelly spoke, "What's that?" She gestured to a tin Curtis was holding "Victoria sponge." I called out from behind them "Why have you got a cake?" He turned away quickly. "I baked it" Alisha scoffed at the idea, "You baked a cake?" He smirked, "What, you didn't know that about me?" Kelly walked away from the two closer to me on her phone. "It's me. I've left you four messages. What's going on? Where are you?" She sighed and I felt bad wanting to reach out and comfort her even Curtis looked sad. "Just give me a call, yeah?" She finished up just as Rudy walked in. "Morning, my lovelies." and then saw the cheerleaders. "Jesus! Fucking cheerleaders!" He left surprisingly upset.

It was nice to just relax at home with Simon. We had the tv running on one of his sci-fi shows and we were lying on the bed together discussing the future. "You know future you only let me know about Vegas, where would you like to go on vacation next?" I twisted my head to look at him. He looked away from the screen to see me, "I don't know I didn't really think about it much. I liked America but I was thinking about going to Wales, apparently that is where my family is from." I smiled at the sweet reason behind his idea, "I think that would be perfect especially going with our own little family." Simon seemed happy with the idea. A thoughtful look came over his face and he reached for my hand. "Do you think we should invite Nathan to the wedding?" I laughed, "Hey I was the maid of honor if Marnie doesn't at least get invited to ours I feel that sweet woman may kill us." He chuckled and wrapped his arm closer around my shoulder. "I would never let anything hurt you." I smiled though in the back of my mind I was thinking about how it was true and he had come back from the future to die in my place. I kissed him lightly on the mouth, "I wouldn't want anything to hurt you either." I shifted so I was facing him more. "I love you very much, and I can not wait to marry you, or to have this baby. It seems like things are just getting better for us." I smiled feeling truly happy and he smiled back. It was true this was what I had always wanted. To be happy and secure with me.

Curtis called us about some cat, so the group all managed to meet up outside the house he claimed to be trapped in. "What's all this about a cat?" Kelly questioned last one in the group to arrive. "Curtis says he's trapped in the bathroom." I stood up and Simon continued, "There's a crazy killer cat in there." Rolling my eyes we all pulled out tools, knowing that if the cat truly was dangerous there was only one solution, even more killing on our part. Rudy apparently hadn't got the memo, "Oh, now, come on now. Nobody told me we were getting tooled up." Kelly wasn't interested even managing to sound bored. "Can we just go and kill this fucking cat?" Simon entered first, slowly opening the door and peaking in, for a moment all was quiet until Rudy loudly announced our presence. "Crazy killer cat, it sounds like the sort of shit you'd use to lure someone into a surprise birthday party. He's probably waiting in there with a load of his mates, some party poppers." A moment later it was clear this was not the situation as we trailed in to find the body of an old woman with bite marks and scratches over her face. The mission was suddenly a lot more urgent as Alisha called out in a hoarse whisper, "Curtis!" We heard a thud from behind us as Curtis opened the door and came into view. "What happened?" I asked quietly, something seemed off I was scared to raise my voice too much. "It was her cat. It was...it was eating her face." Curtis did not have the same worries speaking at a normal volume, "Well, it came after me. It's gone psycho!" He learnt forward and started to walk over the woman's corpse. "It's in here somewhere." We followed suit.

Alisha and Kelly trying to lure the cat "Mr Miggles?" followed by "Here, kitty, kitty." I quietly scanned the room. There was a noise from under the sofa. I called attention to the cats position. Simon quickly looked around the room pointing out the blanket. He handed his hammer to Curtis and slowly walked towards the blanket and moved down towards the couch. Holding the blanket in both hands he bent even more to see the cat under the couch. In the moment before the attack I felt my heart beating incredibly fast worried it would actually succeed. Finally the cat rushed forward and Simon quickly trapped it in the blanket. Alisha spoke first, her accent showing more with her fear, "Now what are we gonna do with it?!" Curtis stepped forward holding the hammer he got from Simon. "We kill it." He stepped forward kneeling in front of Simon as he held the cat in his hands. He lifted the hammer up and did nothing. "I can't do it." He looked to the rest of us in turn, Simon: "Why should I do it?" Me: "No, I refuse to kill an animal." Alisha: "I'm not doing it!" Kelly: "No way! It's bad luck to kill a cat." and finally Rudy: "Now, come on. You can kill numerous probation workers - you can't kill one cat?" He looked around the group, Alisha rolled her eyes, "Probation workers don't count." Rudy accepted the answer, "Well, then, it's your lucky day, because I hate cats. All that fucking miaowing." He stepped forward and switched places and items with Curtis. Following exactly as Curtis had done, the hammer swayed in the air a little before his resolve broke. "No, no, no, no. I can't kill a cat, man. It's just... It's out of order, innit?" He stood up and suddenly spoke looking behind us, "What are you doing?"

We all turned to see the woman standing up, seeming out of place Curtis spoke to her, "We thought Mr Miggles killed you!" She looked at us slowly probably wondering who the strangers in her house were. "He attacked me. I quietly spoke not wanting to surprise her given her state, "Yes, he has." Rudy took no caution loudly speaking to the woman, "He's eaten a bit of your face there." Her eyes darted around the room as she slowly stepped forward. I slowly stepped towards Simon deciding that the cat might be less scary then whatever was wrong with this woman. Rudy had reclaimed his ice cream and tilted it towards her with no fear or caution. "Cornetto." She started to lick her lips, but it was obvious her eyes weren't on the cone as she lunged forward. Growling and knocking Rudy to the floor. He managed to hold her body up away from him as she struggled to try and bite his face. Calling to us for help, "Oh, ooh! Get her off me, man!" Curtis stepped forward hammer still in hand he lifted it up and brought it down on her head. She stopped moving clearly dead this time. Alisha screamed and I stepped back in shock. I felt my own fear turning into anger at the fact we were in another situation like this.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I turned to Curtis as he was the one who called us here. "Mr Miggles got hit by a car." He looked down embarrassed by what he had to say "I brought him back to life." I was sick of these messed up powers but before I could say anything Kelly seemed to make a connection. "It was you? You brought Shannon back, didn't you?" Remembering the day we had followed Seth to the grave. Shannon was his dead girlfriend. Fuck that is a lot of baggage. Curtis looked around slightly panicked, "It was the only way to get rid of my old power. Otherwise I would've been a girl for ever!" Everyone glanced between the two as Kelly just got more mad, "I got dumped because of you. Thanks a lot, mate." Simon seemed almost unaware of the drama turning to me, "It's like a zombie film." Simon was often right about these things given his knowledge of comics and movies, however before I could say anything Rudy spoke up. "Never watched one, mate. I'm more of an ET man, me." He sat down in the dead woman's chair and continued eating his cornetto. "I fucking love that little cunt..." Kelly was distracted from her plight for a moment "How do you mean, it's like a zombie film?" Simon's face took on a grave expression and I felt my own sense of dread rising, this world was incredibly dangerous these days. It didn't seem safe to have a fucking baby. "Anyone who was brought back to life, it's like they need to feed." I nodded my head having seen a few films in my time, "It's infectious. If you get bitten, you become one of them." This alerted Kelly, "Hang on a minute. He brought Shannon back from the dead. Are you saying she's a zombie?" She was addressing Curtis with serious concern but he instead focused on the detailing of her question, "Who's Shannon?" With that she was off no stopping her and we were stuck with an undead cat.

We had managed to find a cat carrier the old woman had and shoved the cat inside still wrapped in the blanket and left it with Rudy. It was a quick walk home but everything was catching up with me and I could feel my body betraying me and spreading pain. "It is ridiculous," I had startled Simon who had been caught in his own thoughts. "Further the species, spread your DNA it will only be fucking painful." I sighed, it wasn't long home but I stopped sitting on a bench for a moment. "It probably isn't all the fun later either." I groaned, Simon was only agreeing but it was an unwelcome reminder of what was to come. "Fuck, this actually kind of sucks. At least I can get some more candy. I've really been craving skittles recently." Simon laughed, gesturing towards a store. "Well then, I can't help with much else, but I can certainly get you skittles."

We had arrived early for probation, Simon always ready and not wanting to cause any problems. I was groggy but followed, waking up properly upon hearing Rudy shouting. "Fucking fuckers." He ran past us as we rounded the corner finding the room filled with the cheerleaders from yesterday. We looked to each other before slowly following him, unsure of what was happening. Rudy had headed towards the roof and sitting near the edge as we arrived. He rubbed his neck awkwardly and I pushed Simon towards him lightly before stepping forward myself to take a seat. "Are you OK?" Rudy couldn't look at either of us but started to speak after a slow exhale, "I was 13. I'd just come in from school, so... I poured myself a nice, cold, nourishing glass of milk. Head into the lounge to watch Blue Peter, good, wholesome family entertainment. I open the door..." He stopped, whatever happened seemed to have really stuck with him since he was really serious. "...and I see my dad. And he is just... he's just fucking the hell out of my mum. Faces all, like, contorted, like that." He turned towards us making a strange face, Simon moving his head between the two of us, watching for my reaction and keeping an eyes on Rudy.

"Like a wild animal. She was dressed like a cheerleader. Little skirt... pompoms, everything." Simon seemed to be trying to keep in a laugh, I myself looked at Rudy a little surprised, "Is that it?" Rudy finally turned to actually face us at my comment. "Whoa! That image haunted me all the way through puberty. I can't even sit down and have a relaxing wank without it popping into my head. Every time I shut my eyes. It scarred me. It scarred me. You know some people are scared of clowns? For me, it's cheerleaders." I raised an eyebrow at the idea of a phobia of cheerleaders. "Clowns make sense, I've never heard of people being scared of Cheerleaders." Simon couldn't contain the laughter. Rudy was not impressed furrowing his own brows, "Yeah, well, so, imagine your dad is dressed as a clown and he's... fucking your mum, like that." He seemed to think the argument was sound and I found myself struggling at the idea, "Why would my dad be dressed as a clown?" I laughed barely finished before I got my answer. "Well, I don't know what he gets up to in the privacy of his own home, sick pervert, do I?" Simon had his hand covering his mouth moving trying to distract himself as Rudy continued monologuing. "Fucking cheerleaders, man."

We were still on the roof when Curtis called us. I walked over to the edge to see him sitting with Kelly. I waved as Simon spoke over the phone. The call was quick and soon Simon was turning to look at us. "We have another zombie to kill." We quickly changed clothes, not wanting to be seen as troublemakers before we had done anything and gathered out weapons and set off in Kelly's car to Seth's apartment. When we arrived, everyone quickly grabbed their weapon of choice, while Rudy struggled to pull out a giant mallet. "What are you doing?!" Alisha asked, she seemed to be sick of the mission already. Rolling his eyes Rudy tried but failed to lift the heavy hammer, "Well, it beats a fucking Cornetto, doesn't it?" It was a long walk up to the second floor with Rudy struggling to drag his hammer. We quietly gathered in the hall when Rudy entered loudly slamming the door behind him, quickly gaining a look from everyone who was trying to sneak. "What?! You try carrying it up all them..." He gestured to the stairs but didn't say the word, it seemed uncertain if he forgot in his exhaustion or simply couldn't be bothered. "I can't feel my arms!"

We went over to Seth's door and Kelly repeatedly pressed the doorbell, unable to wait for an answer the usual way. After a moment she turned to Rudy nodding at his hammer, "Smash it down." He laughed lifting one of his arms to make fun of Curtis, "Aha! Now, who's the big man with the bloody great big hammer? Eh? Is it you?" He laughed and then dragged the hammer towards the door, wiping his hand over it as if he was looking for the right spot. We all took a step back and he turned around, "Shouldn't be a... shouldn't be a problem." We all lifted our bats in preparation for whatever was behind the door. Rudy however hit the wall next to the door. He turned to us clearly a little embarrassed after talking himself and his hammer up so much. "Miss." He lifted a finger to show us. "One more. Hmm?" Many tries later, and Rudy was finally hitting the door but couldn't get all the way through. Evidently Curtis was sick of waiting. "Fucks sake." He stepped forward grabbing the hammer from Rudy who protested. "Oi, it's harder than it looks." Curtis lifted the hammer and immediately broke the door open. Rudy looked at the rest of the group all looking upset at what had just transpired, "It's hard, man, it's really hard." We walked into the apartment to find nothing and no one. We all walked around slowly weapons raised with the exception of Curtis who placed the hammer on the floor as he stood in the door way. We all looked around defeated. "We could try his office." Simon offered, another shared look of exhaustion and we headed off. Rudy was given his hammer back and complained once again about the weight of his chosen weapon.

We had been unsuccessful in the search for Shannon the Zombie and ended back at the community center the next day trying to decide what to do with the cat we now owned. He often reached his paws between the bars and it seeing as no one was willing to see if a scratch was enough to turn you. We avoided the claws but watched with curiosity. Simon bent so his face was directly in front of the cage door but Rudy and I were stepped back. "He wants blood." Simon turned to look at the two of us concerned. Rudy didn't seem worried "Let's get him a mouse and let him chow down on that little fucker." I rolled my eyes, "And then we'd have a zombie mouse as well." Rudy groaned not understanding the repercussions of his idea, "This is just getting like a zombie Noah's ark!" I sighed leaning back against the door. "Right, let's pull straws." He stepped towards the door stopping to point back at the carrier. "And someone is going to kill this cat, cos I am sick of carrying it around now." The paw once again come through the bars a he hissed and both Simon and I silently left the room.

Simon had found some colored straws and came out holding them in his hand. Immediately it was noticeable he only had four straws for the five of us. I looked at him a little confused and the others caught on, Alisha looked at him, "You better not think just cause you're holding them you get out of being in the draw." Simon swallowed awkwardly and looked at me. "I- I uh know it doesn't have much to do with actually killing the cat but..." I found myself staring at the ground. Time to come clean I suppose. "I am pregnant." It was quiet but obviously I had been heard, Alisha squealed forgetting about the matter at hand and Curtis took a step back, "So you're telling me if I still had my old power I could avoid it too." I tilted my head and let out a single laugh. "If you still had your old power none of this would have happened." Rudy stepped forward, "Fine, fine she can sit out but we still gotta do this." Curtis stepped forward first, and sighed with relief upon finding a full length straw. Followed by Alisha who quickly grabbed one. The struggle came with Rudy who kept going back and forth between the two left before Alisha got too frustrated. "Will you just pick one?!" Rudy glared at her but grabbed a straw, another full length, leaving Simon to kill the cat. I stepped closer to show some support as Rudy started to mock him. "Fuck you, you fucking loser!" A quick glance at everyone and he calmed down a little "It's not about the winning. Is it? It's about the taking part." He spoke like some politician, turning to Simon. "Go on, kill the cat."

I followed Simon to the room planning to provide moral support whilst also trying to avoid the trauma of killing a cat. Simon walked in first, quickly turned around shocked,"Mr Miggles escaped from his cage." I peeked in the room as if Simon would lie about something so serious. "Shit!" We head out to where Curtis was talking to Seth, quickly explaining the situation forgetting a small detail. "You keep someone in a cage?" Simon and I looked at each other remembering how Seth had not been present for anything the past few days. "It's a cat." I shrugged my shoulders, "A zombie cat."

We gathered the others and started to walk around the community center looking for the cat. "We can't let Mr Miggles get out of the community center." Simon said looking at the group as a whole. Rudy nodded his head, "Right, well, put yourself in his paws and find out where he is, yeah?" The reply didn't come from any of us rather down the hall in the main room. A scream coming from multiple cheerleaders. I sighed at the situation "I think we can probably guess where he is." and with that we slowly crept towards the door, Rudy holding a bat out prepared to swing although Alisha was in front and he would surely hit her head. He crept forward, Simon and Curtis stepped in front of me and Seth joined the row though he had no idea why I was being protected. He didn't open the door much just enough to see into the room. Screaming was heard and I couldn't see given how far back I was, it was clear that they had to be eating each other. "What's happening?" Simon asked wanting to know the full story. "Well, let's just say it's not good." He shook his head a little "It's not."

With a loud crash one of the cheerleaders came tumbling through the class of the door and starting trying to eat Rudy. A second for him surprisingly, he managed to get out and started to walk backwards lifting his back taunting her. Repeatedly saying "It's Over." Alisha stepped closer to me quietly mumbling "Oh, my God!" Rudy managed to hit her head killing her and splattering blood all over us. "Fucking cheerleaders." He grunted before suddenly brightening up a bit, "Morning!" We turned around to see who could have walked in and what could be counted as another murder. "What the fuck is going on?!" Kelly. At least we weren't in trouble. Simon spoke first, "Mr Miggles got loose." Rudy gestured towards the now dead girl with his head. "Might've infected... one or two cheerleaders." Looking in the room quickly changed the answer to the question, "He infected all of them." I said quieter, repeated by Rudy. "All of 'em." She then turned to Seth, "What are you doing here?" It was clear she wasn't impressed given the whole situation it seemed obvious why. "What you said about Shannon... I know it's true." Seth swallowed, he looked like a child being scolded, befitting of Kelly's response. "Well, you should've fucking listened to me, then, shouldn't ya?"

Simon had bent down to inspect the girl's body I felt my my skin crawl as I wanted to pull him away from the obvious danger. "So, what are we going to do about the rest of them?" Alisha asked looking to Simon for help. He stood up seriously, making himself seem like a team leader. "We kill them all." He looked around the group, eyes stopping on me dropping to my stomach filled with concern. "We smash their skulls to destroy their brains." It was pretty stressful, Curtis spoke first, "That's a lot of killing... even for us." I thought of all the movies I'd seen with zombies. "If we don't, the infection will spread." I turned to look. I'd been saved killing the cat but would end up having to kill teenage girls instead. Greaat. "We'll end up the sole survivors, locked in a shopping center." Simon spoke of his own knowledge. "That's what happens." He defended the opinion as Seth looked at him confused. Rudy sighed having not been involved in as many incidents, "There's no middle ground? We can't just keep a low profile, let it all blow over?" Simon silently shook his head and Kelly stepped forward taking the bat from me. "Oh, for fuck's sake!" As she walked the cheerleaders screamed the few human ran as the zombies followed and with that it was time to go.

I followed Simon and his group with Alisha and Curtis. Curtis was in front prepared to attack whatever we came across when a girl walked into the corridor blood covering her neck and chest. "They bit me." She said in a voice too quiet for the situation, "Call an ambulance!" She tried again no urgency added and I was reminded of Shaun who had been murdered only a few days ago. Alisha whispered to Curtis first, "We're going to have to kill her." Curtis' eyes widened. "I can't do it before she changes." She took a step forward gesturing to the blood still flowing out, "What are you saying? I need an ambulance!" I stepped closer to Simon a question in mind, "How long does it take?" He tilted his head back and forth, "It seems to vary." The girl seemed to have finally caught on to the gravity of the situation but for the wrong reason. "I need help!" She cried out. Alisha shrugged her shoulders unsure, "Give her a few more minutes." Curtis nodded reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone, "We'll get you an ambulance." It did seem to be the best way to keep her calm. "Just... just hold in there."

Alisha looked at the dead girl on the floor. Her blood on the walls and ruining our clothes. "Still want a cheerleader for your birthday mate?" Simon shook his head and Curtis quickly turned to look around the corridor "Can we just find the other two, yeah?" We walked back to find Rudy trapped in a room with undead cheerleaders pounding on the door. The other three made quick work of the two cheerleaders. Kelly still had my bat making me really just a liability. Rudy walked out of the room with congratulations, "You got 'em. Yes!" Reaching a hand out waiting for a high five. "It's not really an high-five moment, is it?" I said quietly. Rudy lead the group as we went to go find Kelly and Seth hoping they had the last of the cheerleaders. "There you are. Nice one." We filed in after him seeing a body on the ground. "You got one. We got another three!" Curtis walked in the room at the back of the group. "You didn't do fuck all! You hid in the fucking kitchen." Kelly looked at him confused and Alisha spoke up, "So, how many does that leave?" Simon sighed "Just one." I guess the job is never done.

With that the doors open and a woman walked in. She gasped walking towards the body on the ground. "Who are you?" I asked unsure of what we were supposed to do. "I'm the new probation worker." She had barely finished when the final girl growled and reached forward to eat her. Screams filled the corridor and we all glanced at each other. She had barely started and she was dead. "Oh, shit!" Seth was at the front of the group and rushed forward first quickly followed by the rest of us. Pulling them apart everyone started to hit the cheerleader like a pinata and I stood back, still weaponless. I looked at the probation worker curled against the door she seemed to be holding her neck, clearly not a good sign. "She bit me!" The probation worker said noticing me staring. The rest of the group looked around realizing what had to happen. She dropped seemingly dead and Simon looked to me for confirmation. "We're going to have to kill her when she changes." Kelly sighed fed up with the idea, "So, even when we don't kill our probation worker, we have to kill our probation worker." Alisha cried out frustrated, "Oh, come on, someone's definitely fucking with us here!" I looked at all the dead cheerleaders in the room. "We should really do something about all these bodies." Simon looked down at the not so dead corpse, "So, who's going to kill the probation worker?" Rudy sighed throwing his head back. "I'll go and get the straws."

After collecting the girls in the boot of Seth's BMW and Shannon making an appearance to try and kill Kelly we were left standing on the roof, feeling slightly exhausted despite the fact it wasn't even past midday with blood drying on our clothes and faces. We looked over the town Simon the first to break the silence. "We did it. We stopped the zombies from infecting everyone." Curtis looked towards the group. "I'm amazed we didn't fuck it up." I laughed lightly at the ordeal, "We aren't always the best but I think we did it this time." Alisha spoke with pride, "Did we actually save the world." Simon nodded and Kelly seemed excited but the prospect. "That is proper superhero shit." Rudy reached into the center all of everyone else joining in his cheers. "We fucking did it. And I got over me cheerleader phobia. In fact if we hadn't killed them all, I think I could have brought myself to fuck one of them." I sighed a little nodding me head, "Yeah okay, thanks for the information creep." Whilst everyone drank beer I found myself with a soda, Kelly looked interested but didn't say anything. After a small pause Curtis turned to look at the group. "What happened to Mr. Miggles." Oh shit. And off we ran, as it turns out we hadn't quite stopped the zombie apocalypse yet.

*This chapter is based on Season 3 Episode 7 of British Television Drama Misfits I wrote it purely out of passion so it isn't perfect or an attempt to steal any works from Howard Overman or anyone else*