As a reward for clearing the Underworld's River of Lost Souls, Zeus sends Robin and Killian back to rejoin the living. An unpleasant surprise awaits them...
Robin Hood slowly opened his eyes as he lay on the floor, the dizziness slowly clearing as he familiarised himself with his odd surroundings.
What the hell?
Getting back on his feet, he tried to piece together everything that'd happened moments ago. He vaguely remembered Hades snarling at Regina, promising to 'end' her. That foul bastard held some sort of icy spear, pointing it at her. She'd frozen, closed her eyes and braced herself for the inevitable. As though she deserved it? Robin hadn't hesitated - his love was under threat and he wasn't going to have her killed by that slimy bastard. So, without a moment's hesitation, he'd thrown himself in front of her, grabbing her by the shoulders to shield her from whatever that thing was.
The next bit was confusing. He vaguely recalled a freezing sensation? A sharp, sudden jolt that tore into his back? He remembered looking at Regina, her eyes wide in shock. He tried touching her cheek, but couldn't. Everything then seemed to fade away after that, and just go blank.
Where the hell is everyone?
He noticed the office seemed...different. There was no fire, no lights on. Just a sense of...greyness? As his head cleared, his mouth went dry when as he also realised there was no baby basket!
The baby! Regina? Shit!
Bile rose in his throat and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, as he realised they were probably still in danger. He raced from the room as fast as his legs would carry him, desperate to find someone, anyone, to tell him what was going on.
Stumbling out of the Mayor's office and into the street, the first thing the former outlaw noticed was the eerie quiet; and the sky. Grey.
"I'm in the Underworld?" That's when it really hit home what had just happened in that office. "Holy shit, I'm dead!
After spending what felt like hours wandering aimlessly around the town in a daze, Robin sat on the grey park bench, considering what on earth he was going to do next. He groaned inwardly as he thought of Roland, his five-year-old son. I can't even protect him. Is he safe? His young daughter, who had yet to even be given a name. Two weeks old. Two weeks! And the love of his life. Regina, are you even alive? Had Hades killed her too? If so, is she here somewhere?
Usually one of life's optimists, he now sank into deep despair.
Dead? What about Roland? What about my baby daughter? Dear god!
~oOo~
An hour later, seeing that the Underworld version of Granny's Diner was closed, he went to the only place that appeared open, something that looked like a sleazy bar. Relieved to see at least some sign of 'life', whatever that was, inside. He slowly opened the door creeping in.
"Bloody hell!" came a familiar voice from one of the booths. "I never expected you in here!" He turned to see a very welcome face staring back. "What's happened?"
"Killian?" he was more than surprised to see the former Captain Hook, "A friendly face at last!" He grabbed his erstwhile colleague by the shoulders, bringing him into a hug, before stepping back. "I'm sorry you couldn't go back with Emma. We all returned, though she was devastated when I last saw her!"
"Not sure whether to feel happy or sad to hear that, mate. It hurts, grant you, but I've lived longer than most anyway. But she's a remarkable girl. I'm sure she'll find someone more deserving of her."
Robin knew he was just as devastated as him, at the loss of their respected true loves. He gave him a sympathetic smile, patting his back.
"Anyway, what happened to you? I gather from the Blind Witch's whining you all made it though the portal?"
Robin recounted everything as best he could. However, he couldn't help but feel maudlin, when he considered the children he'd left behind; and what may happen to them now Hades was in Storybrooke. Killian tried offering consolation.
"I know it's painful mate, but I'm sure the ladies will have no hesitation putting their own lives on the line, before anything happened to Henry or your two. They'll rally around. And the Charmings are resilient, too. Dave and Snow will find some way to defeat that bastard!" He smirked, trying to provide at least a modicum of comfort to the despondent man.
"Maybe. Though they now have to deal with Hades and the green bitch, don't they? That's a different order altogether. Regina said Zelena's reformed, but I can't see it. That creature murdered my Marian! She'll never change."
"I understand, I really do, but you and I both know when Emma and Regina combine their talents instead of squabbling, they usually fix things. Provided they know when to shut up and listen to Henry, of course?"
Robin smirked for the first time since he'd arrived. "He does have a remarkably calming influence on the pair of them, doesn't he?"
"They're sometimes the most unfriendly, best friends, I've ever met. But they're good together. I'm sure they'll do right by your kids, Mate."
Several hours of mutual commiseration later, the pair left the grubby bar, walking across to another watering hole Killian had discovered. It seemed strange that in this unreal world that no money changed hands, yet drinks and food seemed to be plentiful. Why? It's not as though they could starve to death! Whether Robin could even, in a land where you never felt hungry, feel the effects of alcohol he didn't really know. But he was damn well going to find out!
Killian had told him that, since leaving Hades' crypt containing the supposed ambrosia tree (after saying his tearful and final goodbyes to Emma), he'd met Arthur, the former King of Camelot, who'd also been killed by Hades. The former monarch, regarded by both of them as frankly, a first-class shit, seemed to have transformed himself following his murder. From a villain pursuing his own ends for want of glory, to someone desperate to achieve absolution for past crimes. Arthur searched everywhere he could in this godforsaken purgatory for people he had wronged, begging forgiveness and offering to help them to achieve their own pass to the better life. Some accepted him, some didn't. But after forgiving him, several of those he had wronged had been met by a blinding light which appeared from the sky, opening the path to the better place. At least that's what they hoped! Some didn't. But Arthur continued to try.
Robin was surprised to find the self-same former King of Camelot, the Once & Future King, now propped up against the bar at the Rabbit Hole, nursing a scotch. But he didn't look sorry for himself. Instead, the former legend seemed to be a transformed man. Surprisingly upbeat, for a dead man!
"Gentlemen, I bring great news from the living!" said the former monarch before any introductions. "I have it on good authority from someone I wish to remain nameless, that Hades has been vanquished! Robin, it seems the Olympian spear that killed you, was impaled in Hades himself shortly after. He is no more!"
"If that's true, it's wonderful news," said Killian, "Even if a bit late for me. So how would you even come by this information?"
"Again, I cannot reveal my source, for they would indeed be in great danger. However, it's true. Hades, Lord of the Underworld is no more. Which leaves us free to pursue a truly great quest!"
If it was true, it meant his children were hopefully, safe. "Thank God. Does your source give any other information as to what else is happening up there?"
"Sadly, no. Information is scarce, though I do know that the Wicked Witch was the one to kill Hades. Shortly after your death, I understand."
Zelena? That was a surprise. Perhaps his daughter wasn't in so much danger after all? "So, tell me about this proposed quest?"
Arthur outlined his plan, which basically seemed to involve recovering as many souls as he could from the River of Lost Souls. Central to which was capturing the regenerated Excalibur from Cruella & The Blind Witch, then using it to pull the darkness from the waters, releasing as many lost souls as they could from eternal torment.
"Although Cruella has no magic other than an ability to control animals, her partner in crime still does. They make quite the team, and they're only ever seen together these days, after Prince James, Cruella's former love interest, fell into the river whilst in combat with his brother. Cruella hasn't figured out how to use Excalibur to her advantage, yet, so she keeps it locked away in the Mayor's Office. That's where you come in, Robin. Or should I say, Lord Locksley? I assume you still have your renowned skills with regard to breaking and entering?"
Killian raised a brow. 'Lord' Locksley?' He reminded himself to confront his friend about that at a suitably inconvenient time.
Robin smirked. "I renounced my claim to my father's title many years ago; and my thieving days are long gone. However, for a just cause, your Majesty? Only in a just cause, mind. Tell me more."
The following days (how do you even count days in the underworld?) flew by as the three men plotted to distract the Blind Witch and Cruella. Having already established a small group of trusted allies willing to help with advanced warning, Robin broke into the mayor's office, knocked out two guards without too much difficulty, distracted the hounds (how on earth did Killian get hold of cannabis in the Underworld?), neutralised various security traps set up by the gruesome twosome, before finally finding and recovering Excalibur.
"God, I'm good!" He smiled to himself in quiet satisfaction.
Killian, having previously been tortured in Hades' underground lair, knew the route fairly well, and led the group down into the dark labyrinth. Arthur hung back with the enchanted sword, guarding their rear as agreed, while Killian & Robin looked for any further traps and hazards, before finally emerging into the magically lit cavern unscathed. Arthur followed them in, walking carefully across to the edge of the river over which the cavern stood.
"Gentlemen, let's hope and pray this works! My source told me to place the tip of Excalibur into the river, and this will somehow draw these wretched souls out? I pray I haven't forgotten anything."
"And if your source is wrong?" said the former pirate, growing ever more concerned about them placing faith in someone he'd never even met.
"Well then, we've nothing to lose, have we?" muttered Robin, "It's not as though we're going to be killed, is it?"
Nodding in weary resignation, Killian started helping himself to a large scotch from Hades' extremely well stocked drinks trolley, before settling on the cushioned chaise longue, to watch the king work.
"Well, here goes?" Arthur placed the tip of the ancient enchanted sword into the water's edge, while everyone held their breath.
For a good few seconds, nothing happened. The King slowly swirled the sword in the water, until finally, a purple hue appeared to bleed from the sword into the water. The intense colour grew deeper, forming an ever-expanding cloud within the murky grey of the cursed river. As it continued expanding, golden flashes started to rise from the water, landing like sparks onto the banks of the river.
The three men watched in amazement as figures started to materialise and grow from each spark, developing into, they assumed, the poor unfortunates who'd been thrown into the river in the first place. At least twenty people stood up to look around them, just as surprised as the men who'd freed them.
"Well bugger me?" Killian croaked, unable to believe his eyes. "It's working!"
Arthur nodded, wide-eyed, "Look?" He pointed to the opposite wall of the cave. An intense bright light grew from the centre, seeming to make the wall itself disappear, to be replaced by stone steps leading up to a bright blue sky and welcoming clouds, with a large building in the distance above. Robin's open-mouthed astonishment summed it up.
"That's the Better Place. Or Valhalla, or Heaven or whatever you want to call it?"
"Not quite, Captain," Arthur smiled back at him. "It leads to the Celestial Court, as some refer to it. It's where you're judged worthy of a better place, purgatory, or eternal damnation. We all go through the Court, eventually."
As the newly freed souls started to move up the stone steps towards the light, Robin looked back to see that more sparks continued to flicker out from the river onto land, more people emerging, until a calm chain of men, women and children formed an orderly queue, all anxious to get out of the horrible place.
After only a few minutes, it was difficult to count the numbers leaving, as they were now in their hundreds. And the sparks kept landing. And the people kept coming. The smiles between Robin, Arthur and Killian just grew larger, eventually breaking in to laughter as they fully took in what was happening.
"We've broken the bloody Underworld! We've gone and broken the bloody Underworld!" Killian roared, happy tears starting to rain down his face. "I wonder if Milah's in there?"
Over the next few hours, the heroes watched the seemingly never-ending sea of former humanity move up the flagstones to their judgment, a number of people coming across to thank them and introduce themselves. A few souls who recognised them came over to thank the group, to shake their hands and introduce themselves to their saviours, several asking about their families left behind.
As time passed, Robin & Killian moved back to Hades' chairs and drinks trolley, sitting down to witness the astonishing scene.
"Hades may have been a truly evil bastard," Robin poured from a crystal decanter, "but he did have excellent taste in whisky."
"I agree," said the pirate. "There's no rum, but the brandy's exquisite." He lifted a full Tantalus to rest it on his knee. "Waste not want not?"
Robin estimated there must have been a couple of thousand recovered souls at least. They estimated they had now been there a good four hours, watching the endless flow of people up the steps. Mind you, time was difficult to judge in this forsaken land. However, the sparks finally stopped emerging from the now blue waters, people stopped arriving and the queue finally ended.
"I guess we should be getting out of here," said the former king as he looked to the men, all now heading towards the light. Arthur stopped before climbing the steps. "Gentlemen, it's been an unfortunately brief honour and privilege working with you both. However, I realise that this has may have been my true destiny all along; not to rule over the living, but to assist the dead! My friends, this is where we must part company."
"But if you're not coming with us, where will you go? This is your final reward! Hopefully, the better place? You may have been a crap king in Camelot, Arthur," Killian smirked. "But you've more than redeemed yourself today."
"Perhaps. I was a fairly, how did you put it, 'crap king'? But I hope I can make amends down here, before I go up for judgment. There are more people on the surface above still to pass over, and I'd like to think I may be able to help them. So, farewell, my friends." With that he grasped the forearm of Killian, pulling him in to a brief shoulder hug before doing the same to Robin.
"Then good luck, Arthur." Robin turned towards the light. "Though I do have one question, before I leave?" The former king nodded for him to ask. "Who's this mysterious source then? The one you say gave you information on what's been happening above? We're moving to our fates anyway, so perhaps now's the time to tell us?"
"Merlin, the Sorcerer."
"Merlin?" Killian shook his head. "Impossible! I saw him die. I killed him myself, when I was a Dark One!"
"Well, though some of your friends and the Dark One have, or had, magic, Merlin has always been in a very different league. The greatest sorcerer that ever lived didn't just get that title for nothing, Killian; he needed all of you to believe he'd died, to fulfil your destiny, apparently. And now you have fulfilled it! Merlin's alive, fit and healthy I can assure you, in the land of the living, and immortal. He'll come again, when needed. Now go and enjoy paradise gentlemen, and whatever happiness it may bring!"
Storybrooke – Mifflin Street
"Mum? Ma?"
Henry hollered as he bundled noisily down the stairs, taking three at a time.
"Henry Daniel Mills!" Regina called out. "How many times have I told you not to thump down the stairs like that? You're a grown man! I swear you'll break them one day. Now what is it? What's with all the shouting?"
"Sorry mum, but this is important! When I woke, I found I've written up a whole lot of new chapters in the story book? You REALLY need to see this! Both of you. It's important."
"Hen," Emma, came in from the kitchen, "Stop yelling! What's all the fuss?"
"It's Robin and Killian! There's new stories about them. From the Underworld!"
Both women stiffened at the mention of their former lovers' names, staring back at him. Now he had their attention! "I haven't written anything about them since we left Killian down there, and Robin was murdered. But it seems they carried on being heroes! Robin's soul didn't just disappear, as Hades said. He got into the Underworld. And you're never going to believe what they've been up to?"
Regina's eyes reddened, her mind instantly going back to Robin's murder. When he saved her life by sacrificing his own.
"They saved the lost souls from the river! They broke the Underworld!"
Emma's throat ran dry, remembering how Killian told her to go save herself; leaving him in that vile cave, as she ascended in the lift. She looked to Regina and knew what was going though her own mind too, reaching for the brunette's hand, squeezing it.
"Robin linked up with Killian and King Arthur. They captured Excalibur, and drained the souls from the River of Lost Souls. They've saved thousands!"
Henry opened the book on the table, showing them the new pages, which clearly detailed the remarkable exploits of their former lovers, in beautiful rich colours, exquisite artwork and elegant script. Robin was shown breaking into some sort of office, two guards lying unconscious nearby, to steal the enchanted sword. The story detailed the trio's descent into Hades' crypt. One picture showed sparks flying from the river, and a queue of people on a staircase, heading for judgment, the elegant script explaining how over two and a half thousand souls had been rescued from endless torment, floating around in perpetual oblivion.
Emma couldn't stifle a laugh at a picture showing Killian & Robin lazing on Hades' armchairs, enjoying glasses of scotch, as the damned were leaving in droves, to move up the enchanted staircase. Bloody typical Killian! she thought, the grin never leaving her. The last picture showed the pair saying farewell to Arthur, as they ascended the steps to their own judgment. By the end of the five new pages, both women had tears reaming down their cheeks. Their lovers were now hopefully at peace, but the pictures reminded them just how much they missed them these last five years.
"It's beautiful," Emma stood, wrapping an arm around the brunette's waist, as she wiped her cheeks. "They're at rest now, Gina."
"God, I hope so!" She croaked. "I'm just glad there's even a remote possibility that one day Robin can be united with Roland, Honour and Robyn." And me?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, mum. I just thought you needed to know."
"It's quite alright Henry. I can't believe it's been five years? We loved them, and we miss them. This'll be nice for Honour and Robyn to read this someday."
Meanwhile, in another dimension...
The men walked hesitantly up the moving celestial steps on the staircase towards, well, whatever was to come, for a good half an hour, talking about what had happened.
"I'm still worried about Regina and the children! I hate that I'll miss seeing them grow up. And my little girl? I'm happy to be going to a better place, hopefully, and maybe seeing Marian and my parents one day, but I still wish I could do something to protect them all."
"Me too mate, me too. But our work's done here. I'm sure they'll all be fine. Our time's over, and I've no doubt our loved ones will reunite with us. Eventually."
"You're right. I hope I'll still know you in the afterlife. As Arthur said, it's been an honour and privilege, my friend." He patted Killian's shoulder.
"You too, mate. I think we - what? What the hell?"
The former pirate realised the staircase had stopped, revealing some form of Roman amphitheatre ahead, with giant white stone pillars surrounding them. Looking back, the staircase had disappeared, along with a route out. "Where the bloody hell are we?"
[HARDLY HELL, CAPTAIN JONES!] An incredibly deep, rich voice came from behind them.
They turned to the sight of a large man, looking to be around his late fifties, with a full white beard and even whiter hair, but a bright circle of light beaming all around him. And he was grinning?
[GENTLEMEN, I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.]
"Zeus?" Robin assumed by the others standing back that the powerful figure was the ruler of the sky and lord of all the gods.
[I AM INDEED, LORD LOCKSLEY. I THOUGHT I'D WELCOME YOU PERSONALLY. IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I GREET TWO OF HUMANS PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ENDING MY LOST BROTHER'S EXISTENCE.]
"So, it's true?" Killian looked wide-eyed at the god. "Hades really is dead?"
[HE WAS NEVER 'ALIVE' IN YOUR UNDERSTANDING. BUT YES, HIS EXISTENCE HAS BEEN EXTINGUISHED. IT SADDENS ME, BUT WE LOST MY BROTHER TO DARKNESS A VERY LONG TIME AGO.]
"Aye, well he may have been your brother, but I'm still glad the bastard's dead! So, this is Olympus? I'm confused. Were you planning on showing us around, sending us to some sort of Celestial Court Arthur mentioned, to a promised land now, dropping us into Hell, or giving us a map or something?"
Robin was surprised when, instead of being annoyed by Killian's bare-faced cheek to a god, he merely laughed.
[NO, MR. JONES, FAR FROM IT! I DECIDED TO PERSONALLY INTERVENE BEFORE YOU FACE THE COURT, WHICH YOU WILL DO IN DUE COURSE. I DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE REWARD FOR YOUR ACTIONS, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT?] Robin and Killian shared a confused look, but the god continued. [YOU HELPED STOP MY BROTHER, BUT IN THEN RESCUING THOSE POOR SOULS FOREVER CONSIGNED TO THE RIVER, YOU'VE INADVERTENTLY CHANGED THE UNDERWORLD TO HOW IT WAS ORIGINALLY INTENDED. A PLACE FOR ATONEMENT, BEFORE FINAL JUDGMENT.]
"Well I'm never one to refuse always a reward," Killian responded cheekily. "Though I'm not sure what you have in mind, now we're both dead?"
[LIFE?] said the Lord of the Gods, as though it was obvious. [AN OPPORTUNITY TO RETURN TO LOVED ONES? OR SHOULD I BE SENDING YOU ON YOUR WAY TO THE NEXT STAGE, KILLIAN JONES?]
"You'd send us back? With our memories intact?"
[THERE'S HARDLY ANY POINT SENDING YOU BACK WITHOUT THEM, IS THERE, LOCKSLEY? IN FACT, I WAS ALSO INTENDING TO GIVE YOU EACH A LITTLE PERSONAL BONUS. FIRST THOUGH, LET'S DEAL WITH THAT HAND, SHALL WE?]
Before he could answer, Killian felt a hot, tingling sensation in his lower left arm, looking down to find a new, completely working hand, in place of the hook that became famous! He stretched the limb, flexing the new fingers, astonished.
"Bloody hell, that's an odd feeling! Um, thank you...your majesty?"
He chuckled again. [ZEUS IS JUST FINE, JONES. AND YOU'RE WELCOME. THOUGH DO BE CAREFUL? THIS NEW LIMB, LIKE YOUR BODY, HAS MAGIC NOW, WHICH YOU'LL NO DOUBT DISCOVER IN DUE COURSE. USE IT CAUTIOUSLY.]
He then turned to the former outlaw. [NOW AS FOR YOU, LOCKSLEY…] His face turned more serious. [YOU ALSO HAVE A MOST INTERESTING DESTINY, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE IT. SO, MY GIFT TO YOU IS SIMILAR TO TO THE MAGICAL ABILITIES BESTOWED ON SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS IN STORYBROOKE, THOUGH MORE POWERFUL, SEEING AS YOU HAVE PEOPLE LIKE THE DARK ONE IN YOUR MIDST. USE THEM WISELY, AND FOR THE COMMON GOOD, AND YOU WILL BOTH ENJOY A LONG, HAPPY AND REWARDING LIFE.]
Robin stood stunned, open mouthed, as he considered the possibility. A chance to get back to his children? To Regina? He hardly heard the bit about magic, only the part about returning to them.
"My Lord, I don't know what to say, but yes! Yes please? There's nothing I want more then to get back to my family."
[THEN DON'T WASTE TIME TALKING TO ME. FAREWELL, GENTLEMEN!]
Killian turned to ask a question, though before he could, they became surrounded by dense purple swirling fog, as they felt the ground disappear beneath them.
~oOo~