Sorry for the delays on both of my stories, but RL is hard with finals and work. Anyway here it is and is a little bit longer, I hope you don't mind ;)
I loved your theories, but of course I won't say who got it wrong and who guessed right! And thank you sooom much for all your love and reviews! I'm glad you are loving this fic as much as I love writing it!
SM owns everything!
Chapter 6: Shattered
"Shattered" – Trading Yesterday
As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading
Illusions of the sunlight
And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting
Love gone for so long
This day's ending is the proof of time killing all the faith I know
Knowing that faith is all I hold
And I've lost who I am
And I can't understand
Why my heart is so broken
Rejecting your love
Without love gone wrong
Life, less words, carry on
But i know, all i know
Is that the ends beginning
Who I am from the start
Take me home to my heart
Let me go, and I will run
I will not be silenced
All this time spent in vain
Wasted years, wasted gain
All is lost, hope remains
And this war's not over
"Nothing?"
"We'll find her Edward." Carlisle says patiently.
"It's been three weeks! Mark said three months! Maybe less! Which means if I'm lucky she has nine weeks left!"
I bang my fist on the table breaking a big chunk. Now I understood why Alice had changed all the furniture in Carlisle's office to less valuable stuff.
"You have to remain positive son we are all doing the best we can… Alice and Jasper are going to Seattle again on Monday."
I start pacing around Carlisle's study.
"What if I can't find her in time? What if I fail her again? I deserve the pain, but Elizabeth doesn't… She can't lose her mother!" I yell angrily.
Why does she have to pay for my mistakes?!
"Edward, why don't you take a break? We'll keep se-"
"I can't take a freaking break! I don't need one and there is no time for it."
"I know son, but all this worry will make you insane… and you haven't hunted since Elizabeth got here."
"I'm fine." I sit back in the chair in front of Carlisle's desk ignoring the burn on my throat. "Did you already check Tacoma? Where's the list of hospitals from Auburn?"
With a sigh he hands me the list.
Where the hell is my angel?
I've looked everywhere, we have gone through all the hospitals in Washington, Arizona and Florida twice already… but by what we have seen from Alice's vision when Bella looks out of her window, -which is the only thing she does besides crying or sleep- it's cloudy, so our guess is that she still is in Washington. From what we got, we can also tell she is in a small town but that's it. No Street names, no ads, nothing. She is being so careful of every decision she makes it's driving Alice insane, especially because since Elizabeth arrived into our lives she can't see our future either which makes it even more difficult to know if we are on the right path.
We have also talked about how Alice didn't see Bella being pregnant, and our conclusion was that apart from the fact that I asked Alice not to look into Bella's future it was because of Elizabeth. Alice can't see Elizabeth, and Elizabeth being part of Bella's life was made it impossible for Alice to even have a snippet like the one she saw before Elizabeth got here. We think it was when Elizabeth was taken away from Bella when Alice finally saw her, hence the crying. The minute Lizzie wasn't in Bella's life Alice could see her again, so that's why Alice hadn't seen anything before that, same as when Mark located me I disappeared too.
Timid steps make me lose focus, and I look up to see Lizzie pop her head into the study.
"Are you Ok princess?" I ask standing up from my seat and kneeling in front of her.
She gives me a tiny nod as she rubs her eyes with her blankie and stiffens a yawn. It's ten in the morning, and she has just woken up. It's worrying me so much all this sleeping, she is getting weaker and eating less. Yesterday she had thrown up the only meal –besides apples- she had had.
I touch her forehead and noticed her temperature has lowered, she is not as warm and her cheeks are drained from any color.
I take her in my arms and stand up holding her, she rests her head on my shoulder as I sooth her back.
"Lizzie, please tell me what's wrong?" I beg swaying from side to side.
Everyone skipped school today, Jasper and Emmet are currently on the library researching more on vampire and human hybrids to find out what's wrong with Elizabeth, but so far hadn't found out anything that can help us. Most of it doesn't even make sense as they are nothing like her, the description they mostly find is about little demons ripping their way out from their mother's wombs, killing them in the process and then slaughtering whole towns. Much like the Vampire babies the Volturi prohibited all those years ago.
Rosalie comes into the room holding a bowl with vegetables, but as soon as she tries to feed her in her mouth Lizzie starts bawling.
"I told you to back off!"
I've noticed the past couple of days that Lizzie hates to be babied, she doesn't like to be fed by the mouth, or having someone watching over her 24/7.
And I think she hates dresses too.
She is all Bella.
"Edward, she needs to eat. Look at her she is paler today." Rosalie tries to reason with me.
"I know that, but she has had it rough and is under so much stress. What she needs right now is to be calm, I'll feed her latter."
Rosalie glares but I catch a glimpse of guilt in her mind before she hides it and walks out of the room. Carlisle following her to give me some space with my daughter.
"Shh… it's Ok, I've got you."
I go and sit on the single couch with her still resting her head on my shoulder crying quietly. When she has calmed down I talk again.
"Better?" I whisper but she tightens her hold on my neck and I kiss her head.
When she finally stops crying I pull her back a little to see her face.
"Are you Ok now?"
She nods.
…
…
…
"Lizzie, tell me what to do… I only want the best for you… I won't ever hurt you… please tell me angel what can I do to make things better?" I dry her tears with the sleeves of my sweater.
She thinks for a moment before pointing to the floor.
"You want us to go downstairs?"
She nods.
I stand up and follow her directions until she leads me to my piano.
"You want me to play for you again?" I ask with a small smile, thrilled that she shares my taste with music. "Alright, I guess I know which one you want." I say with a sad smile.
I sit on the bench with her in my lap and start the soft sweet melody that always haunts me. I feel Lizzie relax into my chest reclining her head over my silent heart. She watches my fingers as they fly around the keys, and I notice she is watching intently with her brows furrowing a little as if she is giving them her whole attention.
"You want me to teach you?" I ask, feeling warmth spread over my chest.
She looks up at me and nods with a shy smile I kiss her forehead and take her tiny hands. I notice she stiffens for a fraction of a second before relaxing. So I continue and show her the first notes. It takes her a few tries to get the tempo right, but eventually she gets the hang of the prelude.
"You are a natural." I compliment her and she smiles, for the first time she smiles a real smile, teeth and all and I feel like my heart would explode.
Esme grabs a camera from upstairs and without Lizzie noticing runs into the room and snaps a picture. Her eyes are red and I know if it had been possible she would be crying. After taking another picture she runs back upstairs.
"Well done honey."
I smile to myself.
I kiss the top of her head inhaling her scent, it always seems to calm me and forget about everything else. Well, not everything as Bella is always there but… it makes me feel more positive and with more purpose. It's like a reminder that everything happens for a reason, for some reason a god I wasn't sure I believed in before blessed me with this little angel… for some reason he sent her to me. And for some reason, she is still out there… and I'm going to find her.
For my daughter, I'm going to bring her mom back.
We hear a van round the corner to our driveway, the man driving muttering about how hidden the house is.
"Alice, you're delivery is here." I tell her.
She had ordered a few dresses for Lizzie last week.
"I know." She says before standing up from the floor on her room where she had been flipping over a magazine.
The delivery man parks the van in the drive way and opens the back taking a box and then walking towards the front porch. Alice pass us in the way and opens the door before the man had a chance to ring the bell.
"Hi!" Alice smiles brightly and the man is taken aback a little. A normal reaction for humans whenever they see us.
"Uhh… mhmm" She is hot! "I'm looking for a Miss Alice Cullen?"
"That would be me!" She says taking the box.
Then, the wind changes its direction and I'm suddenly assaulted by the man's scent, my muscles stiffen and my mouth waters with venom. Lizzie turns into a block of ice, probably sensing my change of posture and looks directly to the floor. I hold my breath until Alice finally closes the door.
"Sorry." She says as she notices my black eyes. "You should hunt today, before the Denali's get here tonight."
"You know how long they'll stay?"
"No, they haven't decided yet."
Lizzie pats my chest and I look down at her.
"What angel?" I smile at her ignoring my thirst.
She points at the piano again.
"Again?" I chuckle and she nods. "You like this song don't you?" She nods again.
I wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek.
"You want me to tell you a little story?" I whisper against her ear and she waits for me to continue, her eyes bright with excitement.
"I wrote that song a few years ago… I wrote it for you mother."
Her eyes water before she nods and I frown.
"You knew that?" I ask truly amazed. "How?"
Her face falls, and I can literally feel her pain.
"Lizzie… h-have you heard this song before?" I choke out.
…
…
…
"Lizzie?"
She nods.
…
…
…
"How?"
Did Bella find the CD under the floor boards in her old room?
"Did Bella play a CD for you?"
She shakes her head.
…
…
…
"Did… Did she sing it for you-u?" My voice cracks at the end.
Her eyes seem so far away, like she is remembering something and I can tell this is hard on her so I stop questioning her. But my curiosity is anything but appeased.
"I love you." I tell her, and it doesn't escape my mind that it's the first time I've said this aloud.
She looks up to me, her eyes watering again but there is something in them… hope?
"I love you, of course I do… how couldn't I? And I'm sorry… I'm so sorry for not being there, for everything but I promise you, I swear to you… I'll never let anybody hurt you, I'll protect you… I'll never leave you… you are my little angel."
She bits her lip as more tears fall down her cheeks, and the sight is so painful as it reminds me so much of Bella. I kiss her tears away and she clutches at my shirt crying quietly.
"I know you want your mom," I start swaying us lightly "and that you are used to her taking care of you… but you can trust me too. Tell me what you need, I'll give you anything… and I'm doing everything I can to bring your mom back too…" I cry.
Her cries turn into sobs, so I stand up and take us to her room. I lay us down on her bed and I let her cry until she falls asleep again.
It kills me to see her suffer, but I also know she has to let it out. I won't pressure her into talking, I still don't know what the issue about her not talking is but she must have her reasons, and I want her to trust me. And since she won't talk, I let her let everything out with her tears. I stay with her in her room as she falls asleep again, and it's a first she doesn't wake up crying every two hours so I don't even go out of her room when the Denali's arrive around nine.
"Where is Edward?" Tanya asks as she kisses Esme's cheek.
"He is with Lizzie she's asleep so he is watching over her… she hasn't been feeling well."
"Aww, how cute… I never pictured him as the father type, isn't it amazing?"
"Yes, well… you'd be surprised then, it's as if he was born for the role." Esme says proudly.
"How is the girl?" Carmen asks "Tell us about her."
"She is amazing, so beautiful… according to Carlisle she is the living image of Edward's mother."
"I want to meet her… Edward, can I come upstairs?" Tanya asks but I remain quiet, not wanting to wake up Lizzie and thankfully Alice senses my hesitation but Rosalie beats her to it.
"She is asleep, she needs her rest." She says coolly and Tanya is taken aback by her sudden coldness.
"Why don't you wait until Lizzie wakes up? It's just that she is finally sleeping a few hours on a row." Alice interferes.
"Alice is right Tanya, besides we don't want to overwhelm the girl." Kate agrees.
"Alright, I guess we can wait… I brought her presents though."
I almost laugh when I see the presents she got. I know my daughter enough by now to foresee her reaction. Besides, even if she wasn't special what kind of five year old would want to play with blocks and stuffed things even I know are for toddlers?
"That's so nice of you Tanya, I'm sure Lizzie would like them." Carlisle says politely and I hear Rosalie huff.
"Tell us more about her?" Irina inquires curiously.
Lizzie stirs in my arms letting out a little sigh.
"I think you are about to find out yourself." Alice answers hearing Lizzie move on the mattress and as if on cue she opens her eyes.
"Hi sleeping beauty." I tell her softly and she smiles at me.
"Awww." I hear Tanya, Kate and Irina say in unison and I want to roll my eyes at them.
"You slept well?"
She nods.
"I'm glad." I kiss her forehead and she yawns covering her mouth with her hand "Listen… there are a few friends downstairs that want to meet you… would that be Ok?"
She frowns a little before grabbing my shirt.
"Don't worry I'll be with you the whole time Ok? They are like family and are so excited to meet you." I nuzzle her cheek and she smiles in return. "So, what do you say?"
She finally nods and I stand up with her on my hip.
"Alright, do you want your blankie?" I ask, knowing it would make her feel more comfortable. She nods eagerly and I take it from the bed handing it to her. "Here we go." I say, more to the vampires downstairs than to her.
I walk out of her room and towards the stairs, I feel her heart beat quicken but not much so I try not to worry. Before taking the stairs I turn to her.
"If it's too much just pat my shoulder and we'll come back upstairs Ok?"
She nods again and I smile at her, glad she trusts me a little with this.
"He is so great with her, wonder why she is not speaking though." Tanya thinks.
"I wonder if she looks like the human." That would be Laurent, and I'm instantly wary… there's something about him… I don't know but I got the feeling he's trying too hard not to think about something.
Then we come into view, and there a lot of gasps going on at the same time.
"Oh god Edward, she is so perfect!" Carmen brings her hand to her chest.
I smile proudly.
That she is.
"I know… Lizzie, this is Carmen… and that's her husband Eleazar." I point out.
Eleazar gives her a small wave and Lizzie stares at them curiously, neither of the Denali's coming any closer not wanting to scare her and I'm glad for them giving her space.
"Hola preciosa." Carmen smiles warmly. "Un milagro, un verdadero milagro."
Lizzie surprises me by waving back shyly and I hold her tighter in reassurance.
"Thanks Carmen." I say "And these are Tanya and her sisters Kate and Irina… and that's Laurent."
"Hi Lizzie, wow Edward… I'm seeing it but it's still hard to believe it." Tanya says, her eyes solely Lizzie.
"I know, she is something else."
"Can I hold her?"
Lizzie stiffens.
"Sorry, but no. She is still getting used to everything and is wary of strangers."
I feel her relax instantly.
"Oh, ok then… maybe later."
I say nothing, not compromising Lizzie.
"Lizzie," Tanya says then. "I hope we can be good friends, I've known your dad for so long."
"Tanya." I warn, knowing where her thoughts are going.
"Stay out of my head." She says playfully and I hear Rosalie hiss lowly. "Anyway, Lizzie I've got a few surprises for you… wanna see them?"
Lizzie looks up to me, as if asking permission and I nod encouraging her.
"You want to see what aunt Tanya got for you?" I ask her and she nods. "Want me to put you on the floor?" She shakes her head, clutching the collar of my shirt. "Ok, I'll go with you."
Tanya brings forward a suitcase and places it on the floor, kneeling to open the zipper. I kneel in front of her, sitting Lizzie on my knee. She still has yet to let go of my shirt.
When Tanya opens the case we see it's full of toys.
Lizzie watches the inside of the suitcase curiously before –to my family's amusement- cocking an eyebrow to Tanya.
And I can't help but laugh out loud.
Did she really just do that?
"That was awesome." Emmett booms.
"What's the matter?" Tanya says confused.
"Tanya, Lizzie might be three but she is more developed than a normal human… she looks like five but we think her brain is even more developed than that too." Carlisle explains trying not to laugh.
"Oh." Tanya says a little disappointed.
"I made a puzzle with her the other day." Rosalie says smugly. "And she can read."
"Well, maybe next time we visit I can bring something more appropriate for such a smart girl."
Tanya reaches out to touch Lizzie's cheek but Lizzie dodges her freaking out. I quickly stand up –with Lizzie still in my arms- taking a few steps back.
"Tanya, she doesn't like to be touched." I try my best not to growl.
"Sorry, I-I just wa-"
Then I hear Eleazar hum pensively and I immediately turn him.
"What was that?" I ask curiously, forgetting all about Tanya.
"Sorry, but… I was trying to read her… but she is blocking me."
Then I remember Eleazar's gift and frown.
"What do you mean?"
"Carlisle said you can't read her mind… so I was trying to figure out if she had any gift or deduce why but… she is blocking me. I guess… that's her gift?" He says cocking his head to the side.
I look down at Lizzie curiously, she is playing with the corner of her blankie now ignoring the audience.
"But… she is human, I mean she is special and slightly different in some ways but blood runs through her veins, she grows and I couldn't read Bella's mind either… do you consider that as a gift too?"
He shrugs.
"I don't know… I've never met her so I can't tell, but if it works while Bella is human… I can only imagine the possibilities if she was one of us." He muses but I'm not thinking about that right now.
Right now, I'm staring at my daughter with my mind full with theories.
Could it be?
I shake my head.
No, Bella couldn't have pulled it off and she looked healthy when she got here.
Carlisle shares a look with me, and I read on his mind he had come up with the same theory as I only to reject it as I did.
But I'm still curious.
"Why do you think she is blocking you?"
"Probably because of the same reason you can't read her mind. When I was with the Volturi, we divided gifts into groups. You know gifts are never the same but we are still able to categorize them. If your daughter is gifted –which is a possibility since she is part of you too- and it's not just a trait of what she is… I'll say she was a shield."
"But Jasper can feel her." I say.
"But I can't see her." Alice says back, her tone brightening now that there's an explanation.
"I think, it's has more to do with her mind…" Eleazar begins "she is protected. Jasper's gift is physical, you feel what he wants to make you feel… but the way you, Alice and my gift works it is through the mind. Alice sees the future according to our decisions on our head, you hear minds and my gift works much like yours…"
"But Alice can see Bella." Esme adds.
"But she is human, and as I said a gift never works the same way. She might have gotten it from her mother but it works in different ways."
"A shield!" I say amazed "Of course." Everybody stares at my daughter, some with curiosity others with wonder. She looks up feeling our looks and lifts her face to me patting my shoulder anxiously.
"Enough for today?" I ask her and she nods frantically. "Alright, I'm taking her back upstairs I think she still needs to rest."
"But hasn't she just woken up?" Laurent asks in his thick French accent.
"Yes, but she hasn't been feeling well lately so… see you guys later."
I take Lizzie back upstairs to her room where I lay her back on her bed.
"Better?"
She nods.
"I know you don't like to be touched or have people fussing over you… and that's Ok, so just tell me when everything is becoming too much, I don't want you to go through anything you are not comfortable with."
She bits her lower lip before nodding.
A shield, that would explain a lot… and now I'm sure that's the reason Alice didn't foresee Bella's pregnancy. I wonder if Bella figured it out too, and that's why she told me she was special besides the obvious.
"Alright, so how do you feel? You slept all afternoon but are you tired?"
She shakes her head.
"What do you want to do then?"
She thinks for a moment before pointing at her backpack next her dresser. I stand up and go to pick it up for her. I sit back next to her as I place it between us. She opens the zipper and produces a DVD case.
I chuckle.
"Again?" She nods with a tiny smile.
I look around and realize there is no TV in her room.
"Ok, just give me a moment I'll be right back."
I stand up and walk out of her room closing the door behind me. As soon as I'm out of sight I run at vampire speed downstairs.
"Emmet, can you help me install the flat screen in the game room in Lizzie's room?"
"Sure." He says immediately disappearing into the hallway.
When he is gone I go into the kitchen and cut a piece of the apple pie Esme made today and place the plate on a tray, then I cut an apple in thin slices putting them on a Shrek bowl Emmet got her at a kid's store near campus. Next I open the fridge and pour some apple juice on a cup adding a straw.
"You are very dedicated." Tanya says coming into the kitchen.
"Well, she is everything I have for now."
"Have you found anything about the human?"
"No."
"I'm sorry…"
She is being sincere, she knows how much she meant to me but I can also notice the hope behind her words. I stop what I'm doing and look up to her.
"Tanya, even if I can't find her in time… Lizzie is the only thing I'm dedicating my existence to… I'm sorry but I want to be clear on that, I love you as a sister you are family to me but that's it. There's never going to be anything between us."
"You can't blame me for thinking about it… I've been alone for so long, I've always been attracted to you and now seeing you with your daughter you are quiet a catch." She winks trying to lighten the moment.
I give her a tight lip smile.
"Thanks, but Lizzie comes first. She is the only thing worthy I have in my life and I don't want to fail her."
"I understand that." She says a little disappointed.
"Thanks."
And with that, I take the tray with me and walk back upstairs to Lizzie's room. I run into Emmett on the way and he tells me everything is ready.
"Thank you."
"Anything for Mini-Bell."
I stop in my tracks and turn to him.
"What did you just call her?" I ask curiously.
"Mini-Bell, she might look like you but you can't deny she is all Bella."
He was right, her gestures her temperament… her behavior… she was just like my angel.
"Yeah, you are right." I say feeling the pain wash over me again.
…
…
…
"I hate what you did, but I love my sister and I want her to be happy. I know you are what makes her happy but you were so arrogant thinking you knew better and even though you don't deserve her, that's the real reason I'm helping you find her." I look down, ashamed as always for what I did and Emmett continues. "She deserves to be happy and have a chance to see your daughter grow, and Lizzie clearly needs you so that's the only reason why I didn't rip your head off too. They need you now more than ever so don't fuck up this time." He says seriously.
"If anything happens to Lizzie, you have my permission to turn me into shreds and then set them on fire." I vow.
"I'll remember that."
With a last nod I run the rest of the way to my daughter's room.
I open the door to her room and she is exactly where I left her, sitting in the middle of her bed. Her face brightens when she sees the tray.
"Hungry?" I ask and she nods eagerly.
I place the tray next to her on the bedside table and she immediately goes for the juice while I set the DVD ready. Emmett had removed one of the paintings Alice had hung on the wall in front of the bed and welded the flat screen instead.
I pressed play and went to lie back next to her. Five minutes into the movie she had offered me from her apples, making me melt inside but I had explained her that I was on a special diet. So after finishing her pie she had cuddled next to me and we both watched Shrek together. It took me by surprise when by some point during the movie she had giggled aloud, sending the whole house into full shock as we had never heard her utter any sound besides her cries.
"Did she just?" Rosalie asked aloud.
"Oh god… that was amazing!" Esme said happily.
It had been the most beautiful sound, so sweet and adorable. If I could I know I would've cried.
It was strange I wouldn't have thought little girls would be into ogres. Of course the movie was funny, but she had seen it so many times already it was bound to get old. But apparently not, it still captured her whole attention.
"You like this movie don't you?" I asked her, curious as ever and she nodded happily "Wonder why…" I mused but she only cuddled closer to me.
For a moment I feared my cold body would bother her, but she didn't seemed to mind the least. So I tried not to worry and enjoy this little moment I was having with her.
A few minutes later, when the movie was about to end she fell asleep. So I turned the TV off and quietly walked out of her room. It was while she slept that I got into serious searching, always with a part of my brain checking on Lizzie's breathing to know if she was Ok.
I walk into Carlisle's study and I'm not surprised he is not alone. Tanya, Kate, Eleazar, Alice and Jasper are there too with computers and books all over the place.
"They are helping us with our search Tanya and Kate are going over legends while the rest of us keep scanning Washington." Carlisle explained what I already knew, and I also know why they are doing this.
"Thanks, I really appreciate it but Carlisle I still can wait a few days." I say but when I'm about to sit Alice moves the chair away.
"You need to hunt, now. What use would you be for Bella and Lizzie if you are all weak and insane with thirst? We'll keep searching, now get out."
"Alice is right Edward Lizzie will be fine we'll take care of her. Do it now that she will sleep for a few hours." Esme says coming into the study and I suppress a groan.
I think for a moment, torn about leaving her with so many new strangers but they were right. The burn in my throat was making me more irritating than I already was.
"Ok, but call me if she wakes up. I won't go far I'll be here before dawn."
"I promise, now go."
I go upstairs to my room and take my phone, and in a last minute decision my journal thinking maybe I could go to the hill for a while to vent. Before jumping out I step into my daughter's room to check on her one last time. She is breathing evenly and warm enough so I'm finally able to leave with my mind at ease.
I run through the forest, searching whatever I can find. It doesn't take long before I'm able to trace a few elks to the south, I ran faster as my mouth flows with venom. I strike for the male and as soon as my sharp teeth cut the fur blood starts pouring into my mouth. Warmth spreads from my throat down my chest and until it reaches my toes, I close my eyes reveling with the feeling as the warmth reaches every end of my body.
When I'm done I throw the body away and follow the rest of the herd. I plan on feeding as much as I can so I don't have to leave again for as much as I can. After my fourth elk, I go to the hill for a little before I go home. It's still about an hour before dawn so I still have time.
When I reach the hill I sit on the usual rock, and take out my journal. With Lizzie now in my life and my never ending search for Bella it's been a while since I wrote.
What am I going to do if I can't find her in time? What would I tell Lizzie? When she grows up and asks questions… what am I going to tell her? She would hate me with no doubt if she knew the truth. That I left them, that I was so stubborn, so stupid I couldn't see the bigger picture. That Bella loved me, that she was ready and willing to be with us forever but I took that away from her because of my stupidity, because of my arrogance, because as always I made decisions that weren't supposed to be mine. If Bella dies… it would be my fault.
Bella, angel… where are you? I'm so sorry… I can't lose you. Remember when I said I was a demon? A monster? You are the only good thing in my life besides our daughter… you make me want to be a better person for you… I thought that was what I was doing when I left… you were this beautiful innocent creature, I hated myself for making you want to be like me. But the truth is, no matter what you are you'll always be my angel. The little sunray in my dark world, hell… my entire sun. My midnight sun… I'm so sorry, you have no idea.
Please come back… I don't know who needs you the most, our beautiful daughter or me. I'm nothing without you, I need you. I love you.
I close my journal and stare at the view in front of me. The sun is coming up, my skin sparkling with the small sunrays. It makes me think of Lizzie's impenetrable skin, she already has a glow but I wonder if the sun affects her too.
Lizzie.
Shit.
I look at my watch and see it's almost seven, so I turn around and run as fast as my legs can take me back to the house.
Damn it, where did the time go?
I fly through the woods fighting against the sun, the closer I get the more anxious. Esme didn't call so I guess everything is fine but I still would hate it if she had woken up and I wasn't there.
Then I hear the frantic thoughts of my family and almost fall mid run. Then I hear her, and I finally know what a heart attack feels like.
I run, faster than ever with my head boiling in anger, for the first time ever I'm glad of being a vampire because of the speed.
Finally after the longest two minutes ever I jump into the house's lawn.
"Give her to me!"
"No!" Rosalie growls.
"I told you! She was fine with me!" Tanya says frantically. "Shh… Lizzie come to me sweetie."
"I told you she hates to be fed by the mouth!" Rosalie hollers back.
"She was fine!" Tanya cries.
"No! She was making faces!"
"Give her to me!" Tanya pleads "She is scared!"
"She doesn't want you!"
"That's not true! We were fine until you came! Give her to me!"
"You are not her mother!"
"Neither are you!" I growl as I walk into the living room where Rosalie is holding a terrified and crying Lizzie.
I immediately take Lizzie from Rosalie and by now she knows better than to argue with me. Lizzie wraps her arms around my neck in a tight hold as her tiny shoulders sag as she sobs.
"Shh… shhh… I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was gone… I'm here." I kiss the top of her head. Then I turn with a murderous glare to the women in front of me, the rest of the family are in shock or at a loss of what to do around the living room.
"Let me get this straight once and for all," I hiss "Neither of you are or will ever be her mother, is that clear?"
"Ed-" Rosalie starts but I cut her off.
"Elizabeth has a mother! Her name is Isabella and she'll be back. My daughter is not a toy for you to play with!"
"Edward, I just wanted to-"
"Rosalie," I cut her off again "I'm thankful for your help but you need to know the limits. You don't take decisions or have any say regarding my daughter. And the same goes for you Tanya and you better get rid of those ideas in your mind, I'm not looking for a mother for Lizzie nor for a partner either… as I said Lizzie has her mother and no one will ever take her place, is that clear?"
"Yes." She says softly.
"Good, now I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave or I'll go. Elizabeth is already vulnerable as she is and I won't have her involved with more madness." I say soothing her back.
"But Edward…" Tanya insisted and I turned to Carlisle for help.
"I'm sorry Tanya, but Edward is right. Lizzie is having a hard time already adjusting to us, I think it's best if you leave."
"Of course," Kate agreed "We are so sorry we shouldn't have ambushed you like this."
"Yes, if you want we can still help to look for Bella from home, we want to help." Carmen added, staring sadly at Lizzie who was still crying her guts out, chocking on her own breath.
"Thank you, we'll appreciate any help we can get." Carlisle answered for me as I tried to soothe my terrified daughter.
Ten minutes later, I was back in Lizzie's room and the Denali's were gone. Lizzie had fallen asleep again, and I was starting to get anxious with how much she has been sleeping, with all the crying and her stress she should be tired but it was becoming too much.
When I'm sure she is Ok I come out of her room and follow my family's voices downstairs to the kitchen.
"You promised you would call when she woke up." I say as soon as I enter the kitchen and Esme looks at me guiltily.
"I'm sorry, but she was fine… she was kind of playing with Tanya and Carmen, she was ok until Rose came with her breakfast and Tanya tried to feed her. I was going to call you then but you returned before I had the chance."
Then I turned to Rosalie who just glared back.
"Stop trying to fill a place that doesn't belong to you… Bella will be back, sh-"
"And what if she doesn't? What if she is already dead?"
Jasper grabs me just as I am about to launch myself at her and Emmett gets in the middle.
"Shut up!"
"It's a possibility, Edward you have to understand that Elizabeth needs a mother figure… I'm not stealing anything from anyone. I'm just trying to help her, she wants a mother and I want someone to take care of."
"You are right, she needs a mother figure but you are not it! She needs someone warm and caring, you are just selfish and coldhearted!"
"That's not true." She glared.
"She wants Bella, she wants her real mother and if you want to be in her good graces to fulfill that wish of yours then I suggest you to stop forcing yourself on her! She is not stupid, she knows what you are doing and she doesn't like it!"
"She was fine with me until Tanya came along!"
"Put yourself on her shoes for a freaking second! She has known nothing but Bella her entire life! This is new for her! She is in a strange place, full with strange people, she doesn't even trust me, the last thing she needs is someone replacing the only thing she knows."
"I just wanted to make her feel wanted, at home." Rosalie's voice shakes.
"Rosalie, you can't fool me." I say tapping my head. "I know you see this as an opportunity to fulfill your motherhood wish but not at the expense of my daughter."
"But Edward, she needs a moth-"
"I don't care! And I forbid you to think of her as yours, she is not! Bella is the one who should have the chance to be her mother she is her mother so I suggest you to come to terms with that are we clear?"
She was hurt, I know but I didn't care. Lizzie came first and if she wasn't comfortable with Rose's behavior I wasn't going to do nothing about it.
"You can be as nurturing and caring as you want, but you won't make decisions for her. If she doesn't want to do something you can't force her to, that's not your place. Instead of shoving things into her mouth every five minutes or making her do stuff, ask her first if she wants it or if she would prefer something else."
"She needs to eat healthy." She muttered.
"It doesn't matter, it's making no difference anyway so at least let her enjoy things she wants and eats without throwing up!"
"That happened just once!"
"It doesn't matter, I'm warning you. Stop it or we'll leave."
She was finally quiet and I closed my eyes to calm myself.
"Carlisle, did you find anything?" I ask after a moment still with my eyes closed pinching the bridge of my nose.
"We have a lead."
I look up immediately.
"What?" I ask my voice full of hope and Carlisle turns to Jasper.
"I was finally able to hack into the Social Services system" Jasper says then getting my full attention "I picked out her current number, it's different from the one you got from Mark when he was here… it's a cell phone with Washington's code area, we tried it but it was off though."
"And how is this of help if she has it off?"
"At least we narrowed it a bit she is in Washington so we can cross Arizona and Florida off of the list for sure."
"Could you see where she got that phone from?"
"Yes, a store in Seattle near the apartment she and Lizzie used to live in… about a couple of days before Lizzie got here."
"But she said she was leaving Seattle, and Alice says she is in a small town." Esme adds.
"Yes, which makes us think she is in a small town nearby judging by Alice's vision. Alice and I are going tonight we will try to track her." Jasper answers.
I sighed, I wanted to go too. I needed to go but I couldn't leave Lizzie alone for so long, especially not after today. I had an inner battle, but I know if Bella had been here she would have told me to stay and take care of our daughter.
"Please, find her."
"We'll try Edward." Alice said softly.
I turn around, my mind impossibly exhausted and drained. What if Rosalie was right? What if… No, I would have received the call from the hospital like Mark said. I run upstairs to Carlisle's study to catch up on what they had done and try the number Jasper found once more but as he told me it was off.
Where are you angel?
Two hours later I'm so frustrated, desperate and helpless I can't concentrate anymore. I feel as if a bomb is ticking over my head and waiting to explode at any second. I'm failing them both, if Bella dies… I would never forgive myself but if something happens to Lizzie? I would burn myself alive.
I walk out of the study, I need to think clearly. I sit on my piano and take out Bella's letter from my pocket. I re-read it again trying to make some sense of it, she says she is special –I knew that the moment I saw her- and that she is like me –that's obvious, but I would have said she looks more like my mother- but then I reread that again, remembering what Eleazar said about her gift. Did Bella know about it?
I let out a sigh and turn on the bench, starting my angel's lullaby.
It's useless, I guess there are some answers I'll never get unless I see her again.
Will I find her in time?
Light footsteps bring me out of my musings, and I turn around to see my little angel standing in the middle of the room. She is holding her blankie tightly between her hands and I can tell she is nervous.
"They are gone sweetie." I say opening my arms to her but she doesn't come forward. Instead she stares at me with big eyes and I'm afraid she'll start crying again. "Are you Ok little angel? Do you want me to play for you?"
…
…
…
"Lizzie? Are you Ok?"
…
…
…
"I'm thirsty."
The whole house comes to a stop.
…
…
…
"Wha-at?" I ask stunned.
I'm too awed and shocked to move or say anything but I do notice that Rosalie has just entered the kitchen and is currently pouring her a glass with milk.
Lizzie makes a face and looks around to see if we are alone, as alone as we could be since I know we have my whole family's attention now. Then she turns back to me and I see the fear but determination in her eyes. She walks straight to me and stand on her toes before losing her hold on her blankie and placing her little hand on my cheek.
*Gasp*
So she was thirsty, poor lizzie suffering because of her thirst and afraid to come out of her shell. Hopefully Edward will finally take her out of her misery!
What did you think about the Denalis? What about Tanya wanting to play mommy for Lizzie? And what's up with Laurent?
Please leave me some love!
"Hola preciosa" = Hi beautiful.
"Un milagro, un verdadero milagro." = A miracle, a true miracle.
OMC will be update in a couple of days!
Saludos!
tpec