Hello guys! Sorry with the HUGE delay but I wanted to finish One More Chance before continuing with this story, the good is about to start and I want to dedicate it my whole attention to this story!
This chapter was supposed to be chapter 7 and 8, but because I know I have kept you waiting long enough I decided to join them and make then a long chapter. Also I decided to post long chapters once a week instead of short chapters every four days, since now that I have the plot complete in my head this could turn into a 100 chapters and I don't want that. So weekly updates!
I'm already working in chapter 8 so you'll have it next week! Expect a teaser on the Fictionators and my blog!
SM owns everything!
Chapter 7: Why
"Why" – Secondhand Serenade
The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you
I've broken all my promises to you.
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore
November 30th
My vision is replaced by the image of Lizzie alone in the woods, she is running… at lightning speed.
She strikes and sinks her little white pearls into a deer's throat. When she is done drying the animal, a distinct whistle is heard through the forest and Lizzie starts running again. The vision changes and suddenly she is jumping into Bella's arms. Bella kisses her cheek before taking out a tissue and cleaning Lizzie's mouth of blood.
The vision ends and I'm suddenly staring into my daughters brown eyes again.
I'm shocked. I can't even form a sentence.
"What was that?" I ask her in awe.
She takes my hand and my vision changes again.
Bella asking Lizzie about what she wants for dinner and Lizzie touching her cheek back. Bella telling Lizzie not to use her gift with strangers. Bella in a mall telling Lizzie to be quiet and if she wants something to touch her. Bella telling her she was special so she had to be careful with her gift around people.
"Oh." I say finally understanding and then I start to laugh and Lizzie stares at me amused.
Of course!
Of course! Bella said it in her letter!
"She needs you more than you could ever imagine, she'sgrowing fastand needs someone like you, not only because of who you are to her but because ofwhatyou are. I know I can't say much, the only thing I'll say is that she is so wonderful… she's so much likeyou, in everything… it's amazing."
I was too preoccupied with Bella's sickness and accepting the idea that I had a daughter to read between the lines.
"Edward?" Carlisle asks coming cautiously into the room with Esme by his side. Rosalie is back from the kitchen too holding a glass of milk. The rest of the family are hovering in the hallway curiously "What is it?"
I look back at Lizzie she is biting her lip probably worrying if she did the right thing telling me.
"She… she wants blood." I smile at my daughter and she finally relaxes when she sees I understand.
Carlisle raises his eyebrows in surprise and someone gasps.
"Really?" He asks incredulous and I nod still awed. "How do you know?"
I look down at Lizzie and kiss her forehead.
"You want to show him? With your special talent?"
Her eyes widen and I take her onto my lap and kiss her ear.
"It's Ok, you are safe here." I tell her understanding she had been cautious because of what Bella told her.
"Special talent?" Alice asks "What do you mean?"
"I'm not sure what it is… its better if she shows you."
Alice walks forward and kneels in front of Lizzie.
"Alright, show me mini-bell." She smiles sweetly at her.
Lizzie looks up to me as if asking permission and I nod at her telling her she is Ok again.
"It's Ok, you can trust Alice." I encourage her.
After deciding for a couple of seconds, slowly she brings her hand up and touches Alice's cheek. Alice gasps and her eyes un-focus, pretty much like when she has a vision. I read the vision through Alice she was showing her how she and Bella communicate. Two seconds later Alice squeals making Lizzie jump in my lap.
"You are gifted!" She claps excitedly.
One by one Lizzie showed them what them gift was about, she was a little reluctant with Rose but agreed nonetheless. I wanted to cheer when she showed Rosalie images of her and Bella doing things together, like Bella brushing her hair or Bella feeding her as a baby, and both of them playing with her dolls. It was clearly a statement.
When she was done the whole family was staring at her in wonder so she turned in my lap and buried her face in my chest hating the attention. I rub my hand on her back soothing her.
"Wow, it's the exact opposite of what you do." Carlisle says amazed "You can read minds, but she shows you hers."
"I know it's amazing." I smile at my daughter, she ducks her head and blushes a little. It saddens me how the action reminds me of my angel, but her lack of color makes me snap out of it.
I know what she needs now.
Oh god, I had entertained the idea when Eleazar discussed the possibility of her being a shield, but I had thrown it away remembering she had been eating and enjoyed apples and knowing Bella wouldn't be capable of getting her blood. Now it was so obvious, wonder how Bella managed while she was a baby though. But I'll ask my questions later, now I needed to quench my daughter's thirst. Poor thing must be in pain, damn it! How stupid of me! I was so angry at myself now, of course she drank blood it was only natural.
"I'll take her hunting now," I said standing up with her on my arms "Are you Ok with that or do you want me to bring you something here?" I asked her, she wasn't feeling well after all and I didn't want to overexert her.
She touched my face
"Yes."
I kissed her cheek. Of course she wouldn't want to show weakness, she is Bella's daughter after all. It was amazing how much she was like her. Emmet was right, she was all Bella and I loved her more because of that. She was a part of her too, it made her more special.
Angel, I miss you.
"Out it is then, you need a coat? Are you cold?" I asked worriedly.
She nodded and Rosalie immediately brought her a jacket and a pair of boots.
"Alright, let's go before it gets dark." I said after Rose was done helping her into the jacket and boots.
I walked out of the house and my family followed us until the porch, then I broke into a jog until I reached the woods at human pace. When we were out of sight and earshot I set her on the floor and kneeled in front of her in the middle of the forest.
"I'm sorry for not understanding what you needed. I didn't know can you forgive me?" I asked her and she nodded.
"Thank you, so… you are fast?"
She nodded again.
"Alright," I smiled widely at her "show me what you got."
Her eyes widened before a big smile spread over her gorgeous face and then she was gone. I laughed and ran after her, she was fast, very fast considering she hasn't been fed in probably over a month –crap, no wonder she cried a lot- but I could easily catch up with her I guessed when she got older she would rival me in speed.
She smiled when she ran, so beautiful. She must enjoy finally being able to be out of the house and exercise. Of course she would be sick of being inside the house all day for three weeks now. I could feel her joy within me, her excitement and exhilaration from the run. The same feeling I had when I did it too, we both enjoyed the speed.
I loved that, finally we had something in common besides the looks.
Two minutes later I noticed she started to lose speed, probably getting tired since she still had yet to feed. So I ran past her, snatching her up and throwing her on my back. She squealed and that's when I really ran.
"Hold on tight!" Her grip on my neck tightened and I grabbed her legs on the sides of my torso and I ran even faster. She laughed as the wind hit her face and made her hair fly all over.
"You like speed don't you?!" I shouted over the noise of the wind and she placed her hand on my cheek.
Lizzie running through the woods chasing fawns, rabbits and squirrels. Bella whistling that distinct melody for her and Lizzie going back to her, showing her what she had seen.
The image was so beautiful I wanted to cry, I literally swallowed as sob. I asked her to show me again and she did. Seeing them together was quite a sight, it was clear Lizzie loved Bella it was as if she was her world. I couldn't believe this was happening, I couldn't believe because of my stupid choices Lizzie and Bella didn't have this anymore. I could also see it in Bella's eyes, the devotion she had to our daughter, and it was easy to see her world was solely her. It was so beautifully heart wrenching.
God, angel where are you?
Running with Lizzie like this brought back tons of memories. I remembered the first time I took her for a run like this, when I confessed my love for her and she said the words back. How she had fainted afterwards and then I kissed her for the first time. I took in a shaky breath to control myself.
I'm going to find her.
Shortly after I caught the scent of a herd and slowed to a walking pace. Grabbed Lizzie around her waist and pulled her to my front. Her cheeks were flushed from the wind and I kissed her cold nose. I came to a stop in the middle of a small clearing and put her on the ground, then kneeled in front of her.
"So I gather you like deer," I said and she nodded "What else?"
She touched my cheek.
"Momma says only deer and rabbits."
I frowned.
"Why is that?"
She shrugged.
"I'm not strong enough."
"So you are fast but not strong?"
She nodded.
"How about hearing? Can you hear from very far away?"
She nodded.
"That's how momma knew I didn't go far, she called me and I came back every time."
She replayed the scene where Bella whistled and I understood what it had meant.
Her behavior around the house now made perfect sense, she heard everything we said. We needed to be careful now.
"Alright, we'll talk about that later…" I traced my finger along her throat "It hurts in here right?"
She let out a small whimper and nodded frantically with big eyes.
"Very much."
Crap, I was an idiot.
"Can you smell the herd a few miles away?"
She nodded swallowing.
"Ok, would you like that or do you prefer me getting you something else?"
Her eyes were wide and I chuckled.
"Did your momma tell you about what I eat?"
She nodded.
"Ok, so you know I hunt too… pretty much like you so I can tell you there's more than deer and rabbits." Poor thing, that was like having a salad for humans "You can have deer but there are a lot other animals you can have that have a better taste and would satisfy your thirst better, like… bears, lynxes and mountain lions." She gasped "I know sounds scary but you don't have to fear… I can get those for you."
"But… wouldn't you be hurt?" She asked worriedly and I smiled at her.
"Does that worry you?"
She nodded.
"Why?"
She shrugged.
I looked around me and an idea came to mind, I gave her a sad smile as I remembered when I did this about four years ago. I moved at vampire speed to the edge of the clearing and ripped a two foot thick branch from the trunk of a spruce. I heard her gasp and I looked at her to see if she had gotten scared of me, but she only stared at me wide eyed and with her mouth shaped in a small o, then I threw the branch across the clearing. She saw it fly and crash against a pine tree, shaking the trunk and breaking it in half. She gasped and stared back at me.
I walked back to her at human pace so she would see I meant no harm and sat in front of her on the ground. She only stared at me with her mouth agape and I chuckled without humor. I had gotten the same response out of her mother.
"I won't hurt you, I wouldn't dream of it. You and I are very similar," I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear "but you are still half human. I'm strong, very strong but you don't have to fear me. I'll use that strength to protect you and take care of you." I took a rock that lay next to us and smashed it with one fist "I can take a bear or a lion with one hand and my eyes closed so you don't have to fear for me either. I only want you to be happy and healthy."
"What if they have teeth?" She asked in a small voice and I smiled, glad that she had used it for me.
Her question surprised the hell out of me though, of all the other things she should worry about. She was definitely Bella's daughter.
"My skin like yours is impenetrable, they can't harm me."
She stared at my arms curiously before gracing my forearm with her tiny fingers.
"Really? I'm not weird then?"
I chuckled.
"You are nothing but perfect," I kissed her cheek "and I swear nothing is going to happen to me, so what do you say about me getting you a bear instead of those stinky deer?" I made a face and she giggled. "You can still have them if you like to chase them but I promise you, carnivores taste better" I said in mock seriousness "especially the mountain lion." I winked at her.
"Ok." She blushed.
"Alright, now all we have to do is track one."
I placed her in my back again and took off towards the south almost reaching Canada, it didn't took long before I found a lost bear who had yet to hibernate. I left Lizzie on the top of a tree just in case another animal came by while I tracked the bear. I wasn't ready to let her watch me hunt.
"Stay here." I told her seriously.
I was back on the ground in my hunches and I could feel the venom flow around my mouth, instincts taking in, my nostrils flared and I followed the scent.
I found the grizzly bear near a river, probably trying to catch some fish to feed in the freezing water. I didn't want to waste time in the chase my little angel was in pain so I strike without thinking, breaking the bear's neck with my hands. He didn't even have time to utter a noise.
I carried the beast back to where I left Lizzie and put it on the floor at the bottom of the tree. She didn't even asked permission or think about it. She jumped from the tree and immediately buried her teeth on the bear's throat. I sat by her and watched as she feed like there was no tomorrow. My heart shrank when I realized in how much pain she must had been for her to cling so desperately onto the bear's body.
When she was done she sat back down and let out and content sigh. I could already see the color returning back to her cheeks and the glow of her skin. She had blood around her lips and some on her pajama shirt I guessed I had to teach her how to feed without making a mess like Emmett, too. I couldn't wait, finally there was something I could do without messing up. This was me, this was my world and she was a part of it. For the first time I didn't think being a monster would be so bad. I could teach her all I know, how to defend herself and provide for her in the way only someone like me can, it made me feel good, like now my existence had a purpose and I was turned into this for something. I used my sleeve to clean up her face and she smiled shyly before blushing.
She has your blush too, angel.
"It's alright," I chuckled "You should see Emmett when he comes back from a hunting trip, he likes to play with his food" I shook my head amused "Better?" I ask after finishing cleaning her face and she nods. "Good, you want something else? I could probably find you a wolf or a lynx."
Soon all animals would hide from the cold and snow and they will be harder to find, Alaska wasn't the best place in the winter –I was actually surprised it hadn't snowed yet- and I didn't want to bring Lizzie out in this weather and run miles to Canada and back so I made a mental note to ask Carlisle if we could move south soon. I knew he would say yes and if he doesn't then I would take Lizzie with me to Washing by myself. Actually I liked the idea, Lizzie will be in a warmer place with a lot of wild animals around for her to feed and I could look for Bella myself.
"I'm good, thank you."
I kissed the top of her head.
"You are welcome, but are you sure?"
She nodded.
"Alright, let go back home then. I'm sure Alice is more than ready to change you out of those pajamas." I teased and she did a face which reminded me of something.
"You hid Aunt Alice's comb didn't you?" I smirked at her so she wouldn't think I was mad.
She blushed and I chuckled.
"I knew it, show me." I told her, looking for any excuse for her to share her gift with me and learn more about her. She smiled and she touched my cheek.
As soon as Alice is out of the room, Lizzie turns to see if Emmett was distracted enough, when she thought it was safe she quickly snatches the comb and hides it by burying it under the dirt in one of Esme's plants in the library. All in less than two seconds.
I laughed out loud when the vision finished. She was so smart no wonder Alice couldn't track it.
"It's Ok, I won't tell her… if she finds it she will probably still think it was Emmett." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she giggled.
It was so good to hear her laugh, and now seeing her getting healthy by the minute I felt like I could finally breathe. I felt the tightness in my chest lose its hold on me. She was going to be Ok, I could see it already. Now I only had to worry about her fast growing, but I would put that aside for now until we found Bella, now that she was healthy I could focus solely on finding my angel.
The temperature was dropping fast, so I took off my sweater and put it over her. She obviously was drowning in it but she didn't care, she looked cute though, I could only see her boots under the hem so I ripped it from the sides and made a knot around her waist freeing her legs, then we ran back home and I followed close behind her letting her lead. I wanted to see how she moved through the forest, if she could find the way back home by herself, which she did by following our scent. Before we reached a large branch, I ran past her and took her by her armpits taking her with me as I jumped over it fearing she wouldn't make it and fall, once I touched the ground again she smiled in thanks and I let her free again.
We reached the house just before the sun started to settle almost everyone was outside waiting for us and smiled when they saw the obvious changes in her. Her color was back full on, her hair shinier and her skin smooth and perfect. She was really breathtaking, even more when she smiled. Although that smile she had wore when we ran was now gone. She still had yet to feel comfortable around everyone.
"God Lizzie, look at your pajamas!" Esme laughed and I saw Alice's hands twitch, obviously wanting to put her hands on her as soon as possible and fix her attire. "You look much better though… did you have a good time outside? It must have been refreshing."
Lizzie nodded.
"She does look better," Rosalie smiled "now let's get you inside, it's getting cold and it'll probably snow tonight."
"No it won't," Alice said "Jesus people can you please stop watching the weather channel?!"
"Still, the temperature is dropping… c'mon Lizzie." Rosalie extended her hand to her to take but Lizzie turned around and held her arms up for me.
I smirked at Rose and took Lizzie in my arms.
Rosalie and Alice were bathing Lizzie upstairs in her bathroom while Carlisle, Emmett and I hacked into databases in the living room. Jasper was getting everything ready for their trip to Seattle tonight. They were going to try and track Bella in the cities nearby by foot and break into Mark's house and Social Services for information if they didn't have any luck.
I had nine weeks left, give or take two. Depending if we were lucky or not, also Lizzie's birthday would be in five days, she would be three and Esme was preparing something along with Rosalie. We thought it would be a good way of distracting Lizzie and make her feel more welcome.
"So Lizzie, you wanna tell us what your dad and you did today?" Alice asked Lizzie as she dried her with a pink towel.
Lizzie timidly touched Alice's cheek and showed her how we had run together. She was still shy around my family but I guess she was trying since I told her she could trust them.
"That seems like fun." Alice smiled "You like running?"
Lizzie nodded.
"Me too." Rosalie said and I rolled my eyes. Could she be any more obvious?
"Well, I'll go and throw this downstairs I'll be back in a moment" Alice said taking the bloodstained clothes.
She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, put the pajamas on the sink and set them on fire. If anyone found blood stained little girl pajamas I had no doubt the feds would be breaking our door not too long after.
Alice waited until the clothes burned and then opened the faucet to put off the fire. She was about to get them out when her hands froze and a vision hit her.
It was Bella she was throwing up again and shook with pain. But that wasn't the most terrifying thing about it.
All her hair was gone.
Alice gasped and looked at me straight in the eye from the kitchen.
She was nothing like my angel, her skin was sickening looking, she was bones and skin, large shadows under her eyes, no hair, and no color in her cheeks, nothing. She had a purple robe around her small frame and over her pajamas.
I didn't have to read Alice's mind to know what she was thinking, we definitely didn't have nine weeks.
"What is it?" Jasper asked coming to stand next to his wife.
"It's Bella," She whispered knowing now that Lizzie could hear us "she's getting worse."
"I need to find her, now. I'm coming with you." I choked on the verge of tears. Metaphorically, of course.
"You can't leave Lizzie alone, not now she is starting to trust you. Emmett can come with us too and help track her." Alice whispered to me.
"I'll talk to her I can explain it to her as best as I can." I whispered back with a pleading voice.
"Edward, you can't do that to her. I know it's hard but I love Bella too and we'll do our hardest to find her."
I rested my face in my hands and pulled at my hair in frustration and pain. I hated this inner battle between choosing, obviously my priority was Elizabeth but it was hard to just step aside and let Alice do the dirty job. I felt myself useless behind the computer we hadn't found anything to go on besides Bella's number which was off.
"Just… find her Alice, please." I begged.
"I'll try my best."
She walked back upstairs to dry Lizzie's hair and I was left alone with Carlisle since Emmett had gone upstairs to get ready to go too.
I need to find her, I have to find her. I have no other options, I have to. Lizzie needs her mother, I told myself but we all know I needed her just as much.
Angel, please turn on the phone. Give me one minute, just one minute to explain to you. One minute to hear my offer, please.
"Carlisle, I need to ask you something." I said in a hoarse voice.
"Yes, son?" He looked up from the computer on his lap.
"Can we move back to Washington? The winter is harsh here and I want Lizzie to be able to feed properly without having to go too far away in the snow, also… it would be easier to find Bella if we are there."
Carlisle thought for a moment.
"We just left forks three years ago, we can't risk running into someone we know… much less with Lizzie, we don't know who might have seen her before and she grows fast." I hung my head in resignation, he was right we can't risk exposure if it was only me I wouldn't care but I'm not putting Lizzie in danger. "But I agree with you on the hunting trips. What do you think about Canada? We haven't been to Alberta in over fifty years…and,is closer to Washington."
Thank god.
"Yes, Alberta would be perfect." I said with renewed hope "Would you be Ok then? You don't mind moving."
He shook his head.
"I entertained the idea this afternoon when you were out with Lizzie thinking the same… Esme and Rosalie agreed immediately, the others wouldn't mind. We all love Lizzie and want the best for her and for you too of course, we are a family Edward… we support each other."
"Thank you." I said a little choked up.
"So should I start making arrangements?" Esme asked coming into the living room as the rest of the house awaited for Carlisle's answer.
Carlisle looked at her before returning to me.
"We are moving to Alberta."
2 weeks later - December 14th
"What did Alice say?"
"She and Emmett are going back to King, they'll try Seattle again."
I sighed.
It's been two weeks since Alice, Emmett and Jasper left. They divided, Emmett was searching West, Jasper was currently up North and Alice center state. She was trying the cities near Seattle while Emmett and Jasper searched across the state. Rosalie and Esme where going to join them if they didn't find anything in two days.
These past two weeks have been hell we are currently in our house in Alberta in the middle of nowhere. We moved a week ago, and it's been hell because I know how all these changes are upsetting Elizabeth, she wonders what's going on, she senses my distress and she's closing into herself again. I should pay her more attention, I know and it's killing me to see her like this but I have no time! We have seven weeks left if we go by the doctor's diagnosis but Alice says we have less. I know we have less. I saw her in the vision, Alice told me the other night she is starting to fade too, that she can't see her that clearly anymore. That sent me into hysterics of course thankfully Lizzie wasn't around for that. Esme and Rose had taken her into town so she could get out of the house and take a break from the madness.
Carlisle is not working either, he and I are constantly on two computers at a time and making phone calls to see if she had been admitted yet to any hospital from the one hundred and seven hospitals in Washington. We stopped looking at clinics since it would be more likely for her to go to a hospital where they would treat her better. We are also hacking into hotels, motels and real state agencies to see if she had rented a place. Then there is the health insurance, we are trying to see if Bella had bought any medicines lately and where. But she really stocked up before she left Seattle I had to admit she was good at hiding.
Damn it!
"How is this possible? How could she disappear like that?! How come there's no trace of her anywhere?! Is she using a fake name?!"
"Probably, she did want to be found after all." Carlisle says frowning.
"If she is under a fake name then we have zero chances to find her this way."
"You have to remain positive son, and we have no other choice but to go with what we've got."
"But… we have looked everywhere! There's no trace, nothing!"
"Keep hacking into hospitals, we don't know when she will be admitted."
I sat back down and got into work.
I heard light footsteps and lifted my face to find Lizzie by the door.
"I can't play the piano right now!" I snapped, and regretted it as soon as the words slip.
Her eyes grew wider, her chin quivered and she was gone.
Carlisle glared and Rosalie ran past us after her, smacking me on the way.
Damn it!
"Esme, can you please take my place?" I sighed.
"Sure," she said appearing in the library "You need to take a break too, take her out. It's not a request." She said pointedly.
"I'm sorry." I said feeling like crap, it wasn't her fault. She was in this mess because of me too and she must be feeling so lonely now. I had barely paid her attention this week. Snapping at her surely won't help the situation, and she should be my priority Bella told me to take care of her. She comes first, I hated this inner battle.
I walked up the stairs until the third floor where her room was between mine and the music room. Rosalie was there with her, she was crying as Rose comforted her. If she was letting Rose comfort her, then things were really bad.
"Your dad is just under a lot of stress." Rosalie explained. "He didn't mean to be so harsh." She kissed the top of her head and Lizzie touched her hand.
"He doesn't like me."
Crap, good job Edward.
It hurt that she still wouldn't call me dad, or daddy… she referred to me as He, she would call everyone by their names but me? I was He.
"Sure he does, he is your dad… your dad loves you." I was taken aback by Rosalie's help. I guess she could be selfless when she wanted to.
"I want momma."
Me too angel.
I knocked on the door.
"Rose, would you give us a minute please?"
Rose looked up but Lizzie buried her face in her pillow.
"Sure." She kissed Lizzie's head and stood up from the bed, walked towards me and smacked my head again.
"Ow!"
"Make it right." She hissed before leaving us alone.
"Bitch." I muttered under my breath and she flipped me off.
Lizzie laid on her bed with her back to me she was clutching her blankie and a doll I gave her for her birthday tight to her chest. It broke me that we couldn't celebrate her birthday properly but between moving and looking for Bella it wasn't the right time. We did give her a cake and presents but that was it. I promised her we would celebrate her as soon as things calmed down.
Tentatively I walked into her room and sat next to her.
"Lizzie?" I caressed her hair.
Nothing.
"Lizzie, can you look at me? Please?"
Again, nothing.
I sighed.
Great, again good job Edward.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that." I told her but she didn't respond.
I passed my fingers through her hair, playing with the strands falling from her messy ponytail.
"I really am sorry… it's just, I'm under a lot of pressure right now. You understand, right?"
"I want momma." She whimpered and my heart shattered in tiny pieces.
I bit my lip to prevent me from screaming. Her pain was my pain too and I couldn't stand it, especially when you added my own pain. I laid down next to her and hugged her to me, needing her more than I thought. She was the only thing holding me together at this time.
"I want her too… I'm doing everything I can to bring her back." I kissed her head "But I have no excuse for snapping at you like that. I'm sorry can I make it up to you? What do you want us to do today?"
She didn't say anything, she just cried quietly.
"Want me to play piano for you?"
She shook her head.
"I want momma!" She cried.
"I know angel, I'm trying…"
She continued to cry quietly and I racked my brain thinking of something to appease her.
"What if we go into town for a while? Huh? I can get you hot chocolate, you liked it the other day with Esme and Rosalie, remember?"
She nodded.
"So what do you say? You want one?"
Nothing.
"Lizzie? You want one?" I poked her side and she stifled a giggle.
"With marshmallows and icing?" She looked up shyly at me with big eyes and I cleared her tears with her blankie.
"With marshmallows and icing." I smiled at her.
"Ok."
I strapped Lizzie into her car seat in the back of my Volvo, just for appearances and drove off. It was snowing, the trees and sidewalks covered in a thick layer with snow. We lived about 30 minutes from town, of course fifteen for us with our love for speed.
I slowed down as soon as I neared the town and parked in front of a coffee shop. I took Lizzie out and held her hand as we walked into the warm establishment. I got her, her hot beverage with pink marshmallows, sprinkles and extra icing. It looked disgusting, too much sugar but that made her happy. The girl at the cashier smiled at us as she gave it to her.
"You want anything else? A cookie?" I asked Lizzie and she pointed to a peanut butter cookie on the display, the cashier got it for her and wrapped it in foil paper.
"That'll be seven dollars and thirty six cents." I gave the girl the money and she looked back at me. "She is so adorable, you are a great brother." She smiled looking between us.
"She is actually my daughter."
I didn't care if people thought I was too young to have a daughter, they would think I had her in high school which technically I did. I wasn't ashamed of her, I was proud and as long as I could play it off I was going to tell everybody she was my daughter. I knew in a few years I won't be able to do that in public, even with Alice's magic the best I could do was 25. Besides, I wanted Lizzie to hear it too. I'm her dad and I loved her and I wanted her with me. I wanted her to trust me.
"Oh, sorry," She stammered "well she is really pretty she looks a lot like you."
"She has her mother's eyes."
"You must have been so young," The cashier said "if you don't mind me asking… how old are you?"
I shook my head.
"Twenty two, now if you excuse us."
"Oh yeah, sorry… have a good day!"
I carried Lizzie and placed her on my hip taking the cup for her. I thought about taking a walk in the park but it was still snowing so I sat us in a booth in the corner of the small coffee shop.
I sat with her in my lap and placed the cup on the table, she unwrapped her cookie and nibbled at it as she waited for the beverage to cool off a little and looked around curiously.
"I'm sorry I don't take you out too often, I know what it's like to not being able to go out." I told her "I promise I'll do better."
She looked down, as if she didn't believe me.
…
…
…
"Can I ask you something?" I asked, wanting to break the ice.
She nodded.
"Why do you prefer to use your gift? Don't you like talking?"
She shrugged and touched my hand discretely for onlookers, she was so smart.
"Momma said I don't speak like other children, so I had to be careful."
"I got that," Her vocabulary and fluency was like an adult's so I understood Bella's reasoning quickly "but what about when we are in the house? There are no strangers in there."
"I don't like people thinking I'm weird."
I frowned.
"You are not weird, you are perfect."
Silly girl, she didn't see herself clearly. She was amazing.
She looked up at me and touched my cheek.
Children playing in a playground, running at human speed and Lizzie by her own playing with a doll.
"Momma why can't I play with them?"
"You can baby, but what if you slip and expose yourself… you have to be careful. I'm sorry I can't teach those things."
Lizzie by her own on a swing, a girl sits on the swing next to her.
"Why are you alone?
Lizzie shrugs.
"Hello?"
Lizzie ignores her.
"You can't talk?"
Lizzie shakes her head.
"Then why don't you?"
Lizzie shrugs.
"Freak." And the girl goes off running.
I glared at the vision.
Stupid girl, my little angel was perfect.
Is this what Bella thought of me when I called myself a monster? To me Lizzie is perfect and beautiful, special… I don't mind her drinking blood, its part of who she is. Bella used to tell me the same thing it was funny to see it with another perspective.
"You want to play with other kids around your age?"
She nodded.
"And Bella couldn't teach you the limits." I stated and she nodded again.
"Alright, we can fix that. I'll teach you to act like a human it's easy, we do it all the time. We can practice as soon as the winter passes, I promise. Is there anything else you want?"
She shook her head.
I kissed her cheek.
"Lizzie, listen to me. The differences you have from other children are just that. Differences, but that doesn't make you weird or a freak. Is part of what you are and you are special and amazing, you are better than those kids."
"You don't think I'm a freak? I'm not like you or momma." She whispered.
I chuckled.
"Of course not, but just because you are different doesn't mean you are less. Think about all the things you can do and all those other kids can't, it's not a bad thing being what you are. You are unique not a freak."
"You think so?"
"Yes, and I love you because of it. You are part of me and part of your momma, that's what makes you special and so amazing."
She smiled shyly.
"Alright, now I'm sure you have questions too. I know I'm still a stranger to you, but I was hoping we could change that. I want you to trust me like you trust momma, I'm here for you. You can ask me anything you want when you are ready Ok?"
…
…
…
"Can I ask you something now?"
"Shoot."
"Is momma going to die?"
I closed my eyes.
Damn it, why couldn't she ask something like my favorite color?
"I don't know." I decided to be honest.
"If you find her, can you save her?"
…
…
"Probably, if she lets me."
"How?"
I didn't feel comfortable telling her this, I didn't want to disappoint her if we did find Bella but she wouldn't let me bit her.
"Why so curious?"
"Because…" She seemed to struggle with something.
…
…
"What is it?" I frowned when I saw her distress "Lizzie, you can tell me anything."
…
…
…
"Maybe Uncle Jacob can help us."
I stiffened as renewed hope washed down on me.
"Uncle Jacob? Who's Uncle Jacob?" I turned her so we could be face to face.
Who's Jacob?! Why didn't she say anything before?!
Lizzie touched my cheek.
A tanned man drops a dead elk next to a toddler Lizzie and she quickly sinks her teeth in the animal's throat, Bella hugs him.
"Thank you, Jake."
An older Lizzie playing ball with Jacob and another young man. Both are tall and built.
Jacob telling Lizzie a bed time story.
Jacob and Bella talking in the kitchen.
Billy Black's son, I thought recognizing him from the prom.
"He is momma's friend."
Why would Jacob hunt for them? What did he know? Did he believe in the legends now? Why would he help the offspring of a cold one?
"Who was the other man?"
"Seth, Sue's son… he is really funny." She smiled.
"Why didn't you tell me about them before?"
"Momma told me not to." She frowned looking down.
"Lizzie," I grabbed her by her shoulders "I need you to tell me everything Bella told you not to." I urged.
"But, what if she gets mad?"
"Then you blame me, Lizzie… god, this might help us find her. Don't you want to find your momma."
She looked down, she looked like would cry any minute now. She nodded to herself and looked back at me.
"Jacob lives in La Push, but he is always alone… we have friends there… momma takes me to La Push so I can feed. She has another friend there… Emily, she sometimes takes care of me. We lived there before Seattle."
Oh god! Thank you! Thank you!
"What are the names of momma's friends?"
"Uncle Jacob, Seth, Sue, Emily and Leah… but I don't like Leah she is mean to momma. I like Seth a lot he is her brother and plays with me a lot."
I grab my phone and dial Carlisle's number.
"Edward? Is everything Ok?"
"We need to go to Forks, La Push to be exact. Now."
"What? Why?"
"Remember Billy Black? Ephraim's son?"
"Yes?"
"He has a son, Jacob… Lizzie says he might help. He is friends with Bella."
"You can't take Lizzie with you, someone might see her and you have to be cautious too. No one from Forks can see you either, you'll have to hide in the woods, and the house is not habitable right now for Lizzie."
Damn it. I'll have to go by myself then.
Ugh! I hated this!
"If I leave tonight I could be back tomorrow," I said looking down at Lizzie who was drinking from his beverage "I just need to talk to him it'll be quick, maybe he knows where she is and can also answer some questions regarding Lizzie."
Luckily Bella might even be in La Push.
"Alright, you go tonight and I'll call Emmett to go back to Forks and track Bella in the area near La Push. You'll have to call Jacob anyway before getting there and meet in a neutral place. We still have the treaty."
"I know can you get me his number while I get home? We should be there in twenty minutes."
"Consider it done, see you then."
I hung up and looked down to find Lizzie looking up at me questioningly.
"You are leaving?"
"Just for one day, I'll be back tomorrow night."
"Can't I go with you?"
I shook my head sadly.
"Is not safe for you, I'll be back soon I promise."
"You'll find momma?"
"I hope so."
As soon as Lizzie was done with her hot chocolate and cookie, I put her mittens back on and we head outside. Holding her hand I walk us back to my car and open back door sitting her in her car seat. She makes a face and I tell her that it's part of acting human. So that does it for her, I kiss her forehead and close the door. I sat behind the wheel and turn the car on, pull out of the parking spot and head home. Now that we are safe from onlookers and noisy people I ask more questions.
"Tell me more about Jacob."
"Momma told me he hunted for me when I was in her tummy, he is always with momma. They are best friends."
I tried not to dwell too much in the "He is always with momma" part, remembering the kid having a crush on Bella.
"He hunted for you?"
"Yes."
That would explain how Bella provided for her at first then.
"Tell me about La Push, you liked it there?" I asked starting lightly.
"Yes, but momma wouldn't take us to the village. Only to the beach when it was lonely. Seth would take me there too, he played with me while Uncle Jake and momma talked grown up's stuff."
I glared at the road in front of me.
"Where did you live?"
"In a little cabin in the woods, it was near Emily and Sam's house. I had my own room but I preferred to sleep with momma."
"Who's Sam?"
"Emily's husband."
"Tell me more about Emily."
"She's momma's friend, they cooked together for Jacob and Seth's friends. But I didn't see them often, momma said it wasn't safe."
I frowned, why wouldn't they be safe? Were they trouble? Now I was even more worried.
"Why weren't th-"
I cut short when I heard a familiar inner voice in the distance. I was turned into a block of ice for a second before flooring the gas pedal.
Fuck!
No! No no no no no no!
This couldn't be happening, not with Lizzie here.
I looked in my rearview mirror and saw Lizzie's eyes on me. They were curious and worried.
Shit!
I took my phone out and dialed Rose.
"Edward?"
I talked at vampire speed, hopefully Lizzie wouldn't understand.
"Rosalie, I'm on the 22 back to the house I need you and Carlisle to come and meet me as fast as possible."
"We're on our way, what's the matter?"
I scanned the woods in front of me until I saw a glint of red hair far away between the trees.
"Victoria." I hissed.
*gasps*
Run Edward run!
So we have Victoria, what does she want? Do you think Bella is at La Push? If not where? What do you think about Jacob and his troublesome friends? Why does Bella doesn't want Lizzie near them? WHERE IS BELLA?!
Aww Lizzie is talking! And Edward gets to show her a side of his life! Maybe he wont hate himself so much now. And poor Lizzie, she thinks she is weird because she didn't knew no one like her until daddy!
Please REVIEW! I need to know what you think!
Feliz Navidad!
tpec