Lights and thoughts in the middle of the night

Looking back, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. I always do this. What I said was a joke. Kai made it serious. And now I can't sleep. Or was he being serious? Is it possible he was just joking? He couldn't have meant what he said.

I turn over again. Three hours after laying my head down and screwing my eyes closed, I still haven't slept a wink. I just keep playing those last words over and over in my mind. I see Kai, standing in the shadows, whispering things that he shouldn't be saying.

Who says things like that? And right before bed no less!

Though, I suppose it's not his fault. Entirely. I did start it. But he didn't have to take it that far.

In fact, he shouldn't have. We're business partners! No matter the circumstances of our partnership, there is a line. Kai totally crossed it with that nonsense. So, the fault does lay with him.

Tired and frustrated, I toss the sheets back and stand, striding across the room with determination and opening my door before I lose my confidence. Because the doors are so close together, I don't have to leave the safety of my room to knock on his.

"Kai," I call when there's no answer. Tapping my foot, I knock again, calling once more. "Are you really sleeping?"

The door opens suddenly and I jump a little. Kai, hair as wild as ever, looks over me first before looking down the hall to the empty living room. His eyes are wide and tense. "What's wrong?"

My confidence dips a little at his worry. Maybe I should have waited until morning. Too late now, since I imagine he'll be even more irritated if I woke him up for nothing.

Plus, I'm still mad.

"What did you mean by what you said?"

He blinks. "What? Can you say something that makes sense?"

"What you said!" I repeat urgently.

"Said what?"

His genuine confusion bothers me even more. If he said it offhandedly, not meaning a single word, and I'm over here acting like it changes everything, I'll die.

"Don't make me repeat it," I say.

Kai's mouth forms a little 'o' while he continues to stare at me, eyebrows furrowed. I see the light dawn in his eyes as he makes the connection. His mouth curves from the 'o' to a smirk as he leans against the door frame.

"You're still thinking about that?" he says.

The lazy slouch coupled with the smirk the fact that he's still shirtless, wearing only gray pants, is enough to convince me that I'm being teased. The desire to stomp on his foot and disappear is strong but I pull it back with great effort. Crossing my arms over my chest, I straighten, gathering all of the backbone and spirit I have.

"You can't say things like that to me," I protest. "We're business partners and this is a unique situation. Things like that can cause confusion."

"Confusion for who? Because I'm fine,"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah,"

We stare at each other; me giving him the hardest stare I can muster, and Kai returning it with an overconfident twinkle. I'm totally out of my league but I'm not backing down. Absolutely not. Kai cannot be allowed to go about unchecked by everyone, just because he's paying us. I won't allow it.

And then I see it – a moment of weakness. His eyes sink from mine, dipping below my face. The notch in his throat bobs before his eyes coming back up to meet mine. They glow with energy and heat.

I realize instantly that my pajamas are little cotton shorts and a matching tank top. The pink ones with white hearts. The lacy detailing at the top hem was cute and made me feel pretty when I bought the set but now, I wonder how it looks to Kai.

I think momentarily of exploiting that weakness. I could push him; push into him. Fall on him. I'm familiar with the sturdiness of his body and the feel of his lips. It would be very easy to wind him up. My arms prickle with the sense of his gaze. Does he see what I'm thinking?

But I don't want that. We're not battling each other for the upper hand in a tournament of wills. What I want is clarity.

I unfold my arms, relaxing my shoulders and giving way to a sigh. "I just can't not know," I say. "It's a curse, to be so nosy and insistent, but I have to know what you mean by that comment."

"I meant exactly what I said," he replies.

I suck in a breath and bristle at his words because that doesn't do anything for me.

Kai frowns. "What do you want me to say? I don't think I've been particularly private about this. I find you attractive. I think you're intelligent, and when you're not overthinking things or acting out by taking rides with people you don't know," he says pointedly, "We get along fine. You're good company – most days,"

I frown at the jab. "So that's you're standard? Pretty, smart, and a joy to have in class?"

"Is there a problem with that? I don't want a relationship but I do want to spend my time with people I'll enjoy."

"But under the circumstances in which we met, I wasn't good enough?"

He runs a hand down his face. "I didn't say that. Look," he says, "if we'd met at that dinner that Emily invited you to and I didn't know you worked in my building, then yes, I may have tried to take you home that night,"

I laugh bitterly at the memory, thinking back to easier, more blissful times. "You did take me home that night,"

"My home," he says, his tone serious.

I sober immediately, dampening all my giggles. His eyes don't waiver and I feel the intensity of his meaning weigh down on me.

"You want to know, here it is," Kai continues. "If you hadn't told your cousin that we were dating; if we hadn't agreed to this fake relationship; if I didn't think you'd make a better employee and friend than a number in my phone, I'd invite you into my room right now."

I must look as dumbfounded as I feel because Kai waits for me to start moving before he finishes his statement. "But, besides all of those reasons, you've repeatedly said that you only want a relationship and I'm not offering one, so I think we should keep things the way they are now,"

"Right," I agree numbly.

"I'm not going to lie about it though."

I wish he would. I know I'm the one who banged on the door and demanded honesty but I really wish I'd just stayed in bed and forgotten all about it, believing he was just kidding. Somehow, this is worse. I doubt I'm getting any sleep now.

"Well, I'm just gonna go," I say, stepping back into my room and moving to close the door.

"I don't think so," Kai says. His arm shoots out and catches the door above my head, keeping it from closing. He's close enough that I can see that he's enjoying this way too much. "You woke me up, you owe me,"

"Owe you what, exactly?" After a declaration like that, I'm not sure what to expect from him. Or what he expects from me.

He pushes off the door and walks into the living room, flicking on the lights.

"Kai, it's 2:30 a.m." I say from the doorframe.

"I'm aware," he calls back.

"I really think we should just go back to bed. Sorry to have woken you,"

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you woke me up to ask If I want to have sex with you"

I scoff, coming down the hall to the living room. Kai is on the ground in front of the coffee table, pulling out woven storage baskets from underneath. "That is not what I asked -"

Kai lifts his head from the basket he's looking in, daring me to finish that sentence. He does kinda have a point, and I huff to ignore it.

"What are you looking for?"

"This." He holds up a deck of cards wrapped in a faded rubber band.

"Cards?" I ask, "You want to play a game?"

"Small fun fact about me," he says, getting up from the floor in one fluid motion. 'Fun Fact' is a term he picked up from me. I wrote it in the margins when I was taking notes yesterday. I think he's using it up to mock me. "I'm competitive,"

"I've noticed. That's not a small fact, but a rather large one. And not all that fun."

"So," He motions for me to sit across the table on the opposing sofa. His hands rotate as he shuffles the deck skillfully. After a few times, he divides the deck in half and then ripples them together, creating a bridge.

I sit and watch his nimble fingers flow through a variety of shuffles. "You've clearly practiced,"

"I was an only child and had no friends," he shrugs, "Not a lot to do."

"So, you learned party tricks,"

He laughs to himself. "If that's what you want to call it but it's never impressed anyone I know,"

"I'm impressed."

He looks up from his hands and offers the deck to me. "Do you want to try? I could teach you,"

"Yeah?" I accept the deck from him. They're heavy and thick in my hands, my fingers awkwardly fumbling around the edges, trying to keep them all together.

"Okay, in one hand, use your knuckle to brace the back of the deck and your thumb to split the deck into halves,"

I try to follow his directions, thinking back to what I've seen people do but I'm too clumsy and some of the cards fall out. Kai waits until I have a good grip on both halves of the deck. Once I think I've got it, I smile brightly. "Okay, now what?"

"Curl your index finger under the same way you did before and use your thumbs to let them fan together,"

I struggle to get the proper placement as my hands fumble about in stiff, disjointed ways. When Kai did it, his movements looked effortless. Graceful and smooth, his fingers danced around the edges. His hands reach out to stabilize mine and move them into the right places. I hold my breath while he helps adjust me.

I never noticed before, possibly because it's a weird detail to notice, but his wrists are narrow, the bony part jutting under his smooth skin. It leads up to formidable forearms and a defined curve of his bicep.

"There," he says, and my eyes leap back to my hands. "Now, just gently lift your thumbs to allow the cards to cascade together."

I try to do what he says but instead of folding in on each other, the cards just flop down all at once. Kai laughs at my indignation. "It's a bad deck," I pout. "The cards are too stiff."

"Try again," he says.

It's a good thing we're both stubborn because I sit there for the next thirty minutes, doing it over and over again until I'm successful from start to finish. My fingertips sting but my bridge is beautiful. Even Kai looks impressed with the progress.

"Okay, you ready for a game?" He asks as he swipes the cards from me and dealing them between us.

"What kind of game?"

"What do you know?"

"Nothing,"

"Nothing?" He acts surprised.

"Not a big card family,"

"Fun fact!" he says, smiling to himself. "Fun fact, don't let Max or Yuriy talk you into poker,"

"Yuriy, obviously, but Max?" I ask with alarm.

"He's sweet and innocent until there's money on the table," Kai answers. "Don't let that smile fool you,"

"Wow," I whisper with a laugh. "Who'd have thought. What about Raul and the others?"

"Raul at least wouldn't take you for every penny, but the others," he lets his sentence trail off, leaving no question about his meaning.

"Well, at least I don't have much for them to take," I joke. When he's done dealing the cards, he indicates for me to pick up my portion but not look at them. "What are we doing?"

"Let's off with something simple. Do you know War?"

"Actually, yes," I say. It was one of the few games I did learn as a child.

The whole point of the game is quick reflexes, which Kai has in abundance. After losing two whole games, I figure the only way that I'll win is if I find a way to distract him.

"So, since we're awake," I say as I shuffle the deck for the next game, "do you want to tell me about Spencer and how he came to be in your entourage?"

Kai's face sours. "I hate that word,"

"Entourage?"

"Yeah, makes me sound like a jackass,"

"Well, you are kind of a jackass," I spare him a look, my lips curling in imitation of his signature smirk, "sometimes,"

He keeps his comment to himself but I can tell there was something there on the tip of his tongue. Probably something snarky that would only further prove my point.

"So, Spencer? I know he's the most recent addition to the Hiwatari team. Before me, that is,"

"Spencer was a driver for a gang,"

I stop dealing the cards between us to stare at Kai in shock. "What?"

"You never noticed that my grandfather always calls him a gangster?"

"I mean, yeah, but I thought he was just being rude,"

"Of all the people I've brought on, Spencer is the one I've received the most resistance for," He spares me the same look I gave him, "before you, that is,"

To hide my smile, I continue dealing cards. "How'd you meet him?"

"I was going home from a work function one night. Spencer and his crew had just done a job a few blocks away. He ran a red we while we were turning left,"

"He hit you? With his car?"

"He clipped us, but the force caused my car to spin and we hit a pole,"

The conversation was supposed to distract Kai but now I'm the one distracted, hanging on to his every word. "Was everyone okay?"

Kai nods. "My driver and I were unconscious. It was the middle of the night, so no one else was around. Everyone in the other car bailed. Except Spencer."

I gasp, waiting for more. Kai plays with his cards, shuffling and spinning one with ease.

"My window was smashed and I was bleeding from the head. Spencer had the chance to leave. Cops were already looking for him, but he called in the accident anyway. He didn't want to move me but he knew the bleeding needed to stop, so he applied pressure until the paramedics arrived."

"He went to jail to save your life," I whisper in shock.

Kai winces. "I wasn't dying, but essentially, yes. Spencer sacrificed himself for me,"

"Why would he do that?" I ask, abandoning my cards on the table to pay closer attention to the story.

"I don't want to speak for him. What he's told me is that he was already having doubts about the gang, and was only there because he had a few childhood friends more deeply involved. He is a skilled driver to being with, so he just fell into the role. He did a lot of things, for those people. He just wasn't ready to add murder to that list. So, he stayed."

I shake my head, sorting all the new information and applying it to the quiet man I've come to care about. "And you just hired him after that?"

"When my driver woke up, the first thing he asked for was a lawyer. Spencer risked his freedom to save me. That guy didn't even care whether I had lived or died in his car. True, he wasn't at fault for the accident, but I was his passenger and he should have cared.

So, I went to Spencer while he was still in jail. Bail had been set but nobody had come to get him. And I asked him if he wanted to go to prison for these people or if he wanted to elevate himself above them, and then set out my terms. For starters, I wouldn't file charges against him. I would also pay for a lawyer to get him out of what he was currently being charged with. In exchange, he would drive for me."

"You would have file charges against him if he said no?" I ask, horrified about this. "He saved your life."

"No, but he didn't need to know that at the time," Kai replies.

I roll my eyes at how pleased with himself he sounds. "I assume he said yes?"

"Not right away," he shrugs. "I gave him a day to think about it, but he came around. He's not stupid, after all,"

"Never thought he was,"

"My grandfather hated him. They were already calling Ray and Rick my little pack of strays. Adding an actual criminal to the mix didn't make things any better. They called him a rescue."

I shake my head, thinking of the headache that must have been. For all of them.

"A few years later, one of Spencer's old associates contacted him and said he wanted out. One of my conditions was that he never speak to them again but this guy he couldn't ignore. I didn't have a need for him and he hadn't proven himself to me. Yuriy, though, wanted to see what I found so interesting about hiring people off the street, so he took Bryan on as a bodyguard. It's worked out surprisingly well," Kai shakes his head as if the idea rattles him. "I think Bryan is the only one who can handle his smart mouth every day of the week. Yuriy likes that he isn't afraid to talk back,"

I think back to the gray-haired man that came in with them after the engagement party. I just thought that Rick, Spencer, and he got along because of their similar employment. It would have never occurred to me they had a shared history.

"That's it. That's everyone."

"I would have never guessed it was like that,"

"It's a good team," he says.

"Just a team?" I smile.

"Friends," Kai relents. "They're good friends."

It strikes me as odd that this is the group I've somehow found myself involved with; this random assortment of people, brought together because of one Kai Hiwatari.

"Another round?" He asks, holding up his cards.

Of course. He's undefeated and can't walk away from the table now. However, I'm finally tired enough to sleep. Stretching with a deep yawn, I say, "You'll have to play solitaire. I'm getting some Zs before it's too late,"

"Says the loser," he says, trying to bait me.

I don't skip a beat. "Yep, that's me. The loser." I say, walking down the hall to my bedroom. My eyes are sliding close already. Before I close my door, I hear the rippling of the cards falling together.

The sunlight pours through the windows, giving the entire room and everything it touches a soft glow. I lay in bed for a while after waking, enjoying the contentment I feel. I think I could live here forever and never be unhappy.

But eventually, I have to rise. The stirring in my stomach forces me up, despite my longing to stay. I tiptoe out of my room quietly in case Kai's still asleep since he went to bed later than me. There's no sign of him in the living room or kitchen, so that may be a fair assessment.

Pulling out some of the fruit I bought yesterday, I make myself a small plate to hold me over until we can go out again. I also find some tea bags in the cupboard that will work for my morning cup. Sitting at the small dining room table with a cup warming my hands while I watch the waves feels me with a sense of calm I haven't experienced in a while.

There's no doubt in my mind this weekend has been worth it. Kai and I are finally getting on the same page. There are still a few more things I want to ask, mainly about his business dealings, but overall, I'm really happy with our progress.

Kai hasn't appeared by the time my plate and cup are empty. He will probably want something more substantial than fruit, and definitely coffee. The market isn't too long of a walk. I could make it on my own and have something ready for him when he does wake up. That would be a nice surprise and an apology for disrupting his sleep.

The image of him opening the door, startled and worried, comes up and I shove it back down. That conversation is over. There's nothing more that needs to be said about it.

Bringing the dishes over to the sink, I get to work on rinsing them off and setting them out to dry. Next, I'll get ready to go to the market, and then after, I'll attempt to create something that will pass for an apology. How I wish I'd had the time to learn from Rei before the trip.

I hear a creaking on the deck, footsteps that trail from the stairs that lead to the beach around to the windows in the living room. There are two different patterns. What if it's the security guard again? And Kai isn't awake yet.

Peeking out from the kitchen, I glance around, hoping whatever I see won't see or scare me.

I don't see anything from here, but now I hear the light murmur of conversation. Stepping out from the small kitchen, I walk towards the doors in the living room, placing each foot lightly so as not to alert the strangers out there. Finally getting to the window, I slowly peel back the curtain and look around.

I find the strangers instantly – only, they're not strangers. Well, one of them isn't.

Kai leans against the deck rail. He's thrown on a white linen shirt that moves in the ocean breeze but still wears the gray pants he slept in. He smiles and nods along to the woman next to him as she talks. Her voice is soft and her brown hair barely reaches her shoulders, brushing along the hem of her lilac dress.

My heart stops. My breath catches. From behind, she looks like the right height and build for his mother. And then they move, parting so that I can see her face. She's younger than his mom would be, her face rounder than the woman in the picture, and her glasses give it away.

"Oh!" She says, covering her mouth in surprise when she catches me in the window.

Kai turns as well and I take the chance to study his reaction. He's so touchy about his family and I don't want him to think that I was spying just to spy. But instead of angry, he's relaxed. Smiling softly, he nods his head, inviting me out to join them.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the moment," I say as I walk out. "I thought I heard something,"

"It's no bother," the woman says. Her pink cheeks round out even more as she smiles. "I stopped by to apologize to you and Kai for my blunder. I was supposed to let the local security know that someone would the house this weekend and I completely forgot."

"Hilary, this is my aunt, Keiko," Kai says. His eyes dance over her smaller, delicate form. "My mom's sister."

I offer my hand happily and greet her warmly. She returns it with just as much enthusiasm.

"You must live close by," I say when we let go.

Keiko adjusts her glasses. "About an hour away. I teach at the middle school there and we had a field trip yesterday. I completely forgot to call. I'm so sorry to ruin your special weekend."

"It didn't ruin anything," I wave my hand. "In fact, it was kind of funny. Kai got mad, but his eyebrows always do this thing when he gets mad -"

"The right one," She laughs, nodding in familiarity, "it twitches."

"Yes!"

"It does not."

"It totally does."

"She right, Kai," Keiko says, hiding her smile behind a hand. The other lightly grips Kai's shoulder. "Your father's does the same thing,"

Kai shakes his head but doesn't argue. It's nice to see how gentle he is with her. She's such a contrast to his other aunt.

"You should stay for breakfast," I say. She's already better than any other family member I've met, plus she has dirt of Kai as a child before he left his parent's care. "I was just about to head to the market for some supplies,"

"Hilary, she has things to do," Kai cautions.

"Hush, you," I swat at his chest before folding my hands together. "Please stay."

Keiko giggles at my antics. "He's right, I've got something to take care of today, but I can stop by tomorrow morning,"

"That's perfect! I'll have everything by then,"

We arrange a time, much to Kai's annoyance. Once that's done, she reaches her arms around Kai's shoulder's and he actually bends to return her hug! It's slightly ruined by the glare he gives me over her shoulder, but I can't help but smile anyway.

After him, she turns to me and gives me the same tight hug before heading towards her car. I have to drag Kai over to wave goodbye, which I do until I can't see her at all.

Leaning against his arm, I sigh. "She's so sweet,"

He hums in agreement.

"Are you sure you share DNA with her?"

Kai immediately tries to wrestle his arm away from my grip, but I only grip it tighter. He can probably throw me off if he wants to, but instead, he drags me back inside as I resist the entire way. My laughter is loud and almost shrill. I would probably be embarrassed under any other circumstances, but what's Kai going to do? Besides, though he's not laughing, I can see him fighting back a smile.

Finally, we collapse on one of the white sofas. The laughter still bubbles in my chest, but I've calmed down enough.

"What's the plan for today?" Kai asks.

"Food," I say, "then play. And more food later."

"No twenty questions?"

I turn to look at him. He's resting with his eyes closed but I suddenly become acutely aware that our fingers are still intertwined. I release his grip, standing to put some distance between us. "Of course, I still have questions. That's the whole point of this weekend. But I figured we're doing such a good job of just weaving them into the conversation, why bring it up?"

Putting my hands on my hips, I turn back to him. "Right?"

His hooded eyes scan over me once before closing again. "Go get dressed," he says. "I'll take you to the store."

Small chapter today. I didn't get as much as I wanted to in there. My apologies. Please read my profile for the explanation. Also, if you've reviewed as a guest, there is a reply for you in the profile as well. I loved reading everyones reviews! You were so excited for the last chapter and it was so nice to hear from everyone. If you're up for it this time around, please feel free to drop your thoughts. Either way, thank you for stopping by. Take care - Konix