Hi there!

This is a loooong ass chapter, so I suggest you to get comfy before starting. Lots of New Moon-Eclipse-Breaking Dawn quotes. Let's see if you catch them!

See you at the the bottom!

SM owns everything.

Currently without a beta so all mistakes are mine.

Chapter 31: Out Of The Woods

Out Of The Woods – Taylor Swift

Remember when you hit the brakes too soon
Twenty stitches in a hospital room
When you started crying
Baby, I did too
But when the sun came up
I was looking at you

Remember when we couldn't take the heat
I walked out, I said, I'm setting you free
But the monsters turned out to be just trees
When the sun came up
You were looking at me

You were looking at me, Oh!

You were looking at me.

Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods? (I remember)
Are we in the clear yet? (Oh, I remember)

Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods?
Are we in the clear yet?
In the clear yet, good

The violent jostling of the jeep wakes me up. Startled, I look through the windshield and notice that we have stopped in the middle of the woods with no path or trail around us.

"What time is it?" I ask, not being able to tell what time it was because of the sun hiding behind the thick gray clouds.

"Around three." Edward says quietly, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning the engine off.

So that means I slept for about 2 hours, I'm about to ask something else when my stomach growls. In a flash, Edward's right arm reaches behind my seat and he hands me a brown paper bag.

"Thanks." I smile at him, then take a look inside the bag.

"I'll get our stuff ready. We'll be on foot as soon as you are done with that." He points at my food. "This is as far as we can go by car so we'll have to run from here."

I nod, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"How much longer until we get there?" I ask after swallowing.

He shrugs, looking up at the sky before opening the door to his left.

"About half an hour I guess, we need to get there and set up camp before the sky falls. But I think we are still safe for a couple of hours." He finishes and steps outside, closing the door behind him. He rounds the jeep, opens the trunk in the back and starts moving things around.

I turn on my seat and pull myself up on my knees taking another bite of my sandwich, then open the minute maid bottle and take a sip of my apple juice while I watch him pile up some stuff together in the bed of the trunk.

God, I was so thirsty. This morning's hike really took a toll on me. I look around me and can't tell where we are, or how far away from home we are. How I expected my plan of abandoning the camp and meet them at the battlefield to work I have no idea.

"Where are we?" I ask taking another drink from my juice.

"Somewhere in the middle of Jasper National Park in the Canadian Rockies," He answers without looking at me and this is when I notice that he has yet to look me in the eye since I woke up "we are going to a small open space close to a river up in the mountains."

"Will it take Lizzie and the others this long to get here?" I ask worriedly, thinking about this morning's hour ride to the battlefield, the hike, the time it took us to get here and the distance we still have to cover, I think we've been on the road for a solid 4 hours but Edward shakes his head.

"Not at all, the rain would have stopped by then so they'll be running all the way. It'll only take them about an hour to get to camp." He gives me a small reassuring smile, finally looking at me but I can tell he is still upset "We took this long because we were driving through the woods instead of the highway so no one could tail the jeep. We also took an alternate route so even without the rain no one crosses your scent. We'll be going up through the northern side of the mountain, Lizzie and the other's will come from the southeast side."

"Oh, that's true." I say remembering Jasper and Edward's conversation from last night over a map in Carlisle's office.

He gives me another small smile and goes back to put stuff inside a huge camping backpack.

I look away and try to think of something else to say to lighten the mood but come up empty. In the end I know no matter what I say, he will still be disappointed in me for breaking my promise.

I let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry." I finally say, I don't regret it but I still feel guilty about it.

"Are you really sorry or are you just sorry you got caught?" He asks stealing a glance my way before going back to do whatever it is that he was doing with some ropes.

"What difference does it make?"

He stops what he is doing and looks up at me, not breaking my gaze.

"If you are really sorry, then I can trust you won't try anything else when I leave tomorrow. If you are not, then how do you expect me to go knowing you might do something that can endanger you or Elizabeth's life?"

My heart skips a beat.

"Then don't leave." I say hopeful.

I know. I have no shame.

His jaw flexes and he looks away, staring intently into the woods.

"Bella, you know I have to go." He says in a quiet voice, still not looking at me.

My eyes fill with tears, but I don't want him to see me cry so I turn around and sit back on my seat. Angrily brushing my tears away.

What's with this feeling in my chest? Why am I so scared of him leaving tomorrow? They have told me a thousand times everything will be fine, that the odds are in our favor, that there are more than enough vampires and wolves to help us that even Esme and Carmen can sit out.

Suddenly, my passenger door opens and I have him right there beside me.

"Please don't cry…" He says with that soft velvety voice of his, when I don't answer he sighs and reaches out taking my hand in his giving it a small squeeze "I promise, everything will be alright." He brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles.

I don't answer, I can't. The knot in my throat won't let me.

"Bella, listen to me." He says fervently, taking my face between his ironclad hands forcing me look into his beautiful determined eyes "Nothing will happen to any of us, I promise everything will be alright."

"Just, promise me you'll be careful."

"I will, and I'll be back for you as soon as we are done and then Lizzie, Seth, you and I will be gone."

I sigh, I know he means it but he has made me promises before, I have made promises too that I have been forced to break and if life has taught me anything is that nothing is ever for granted, that plans don't tend to go our way.

"What are you thinking?" He asks quietly, tenderly brushing my hair away from my face.

"How unfair all of this is."

His face falls and he looks down at our joined hands.

"I know, I'm sorry this is all my fault."

I frown, remembering Alice saying something similar about Edward blaming himself for all that was happening.

"Edward, you know I don't blame you for anything related to Victoria, right?"

"Of course you don't, it doesn't mean is not my fault."

"How on earth is this your fault? You killed James, so what? You didn't have any other options and the world is a better place because of it."

He chuckles without humor.

"I should have dealt with Victoria too." He raises an eyebrow.

"You didn't know how she was going to react."

"I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts. I didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why now—she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there."

"Even if you had seen that, how would you have known she would go this far to avenge him?"

"But I should have, James was her mate, if anyone ever touched you nothing would stop me from avenging you either. Hell, that's the very same reason why I killed James in the first place."

"Don't think like that, please." I say, my heart accelerating just at the thought of him being in danger "You have Lizzie to think about."

"Yes, she is here now but at the time she wasn't with us yet. I should have foreseen Victoria's reaction and hunted her sooner, everything would be so different now. Charlie would be alive for starters."

I think of my dad, that last morning I saw him. Our fight. He wanted me to leave Forks and live with Rene for a while but I refused. Not wanting to leave my memories with Edward behind, hoping that maybe someday he would be back. Everyday I would wake up, wishing it had all been a bad dream and he would be there waiting for me in my rocking chair, or outside waiting for me in his Volvo ready to go to school.

"Edward, did you ever think of coming back?" I ask in a tiny voice, fearful of his answer.

"That's the only thing I would think about the moment I left."

"But you didn't."

"I didn't."

"So, if it weren't for Elizabeth…" I look down at our hands again, not wanting to meet his eyes "would you still be away?"

"I would like to think so," he says and I gasp, my heart instantly crushing into tiny pieces, he sees this in my face and hurries to finish his sentence "being with anyone else would be so much healthier for you but… I'm not as strong as you give me credit for." He lifts our joined hands and caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers "Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me, I was coming back anyway. Everyday my resolve weakened and I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back."

"So, you are not with me just because of Elizabeth?" I hear myself say, and it only occurs to me now that this is an actual fear of mine that I have had all this time.

"Bella," Edward frowns "I love you, I thought you knew this."

"Yes. I don't mean it like that, I know you love me but… you loved me all this time from afar… is there a part of you that still thinks it would be better that way? But because of Elizabeth you can't leave now?"

"Bella, if I wanted you to have your human life as I intended in the begging I wouldn't have spent the last 4 months trying to win you back. I would have gotten you a house and everything you might need in a town or city were I could watch you and take care of both of you from afar and let you live your lives in peace without me."

"Really?"

"Yes, you are my life… you and Elizabeth are my family and I won't ever take that for granted. And I love you, so much… the way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you. I swear on our daughter, that's the truth."

I feel my heart swell with joy in my chest and I have tears streaming down my face, he kisses them away before resting his forehead on mine.

"You are my life, get that inside your pretty little head please."

I chuckle through my tears and kiss him. God, how much I love this man.

"You are my life too, Edward." He gasps, and his eyes are the most stunning shade of liquid gold I've ever seen. I saw him swallow, and his eyes, they widened, only slightly but enough for me to notice, and he shivered as he closed them in relief.

He saw it in my eyes, he didn't say anything but I saw the exact moment it dawned on him that our relationship was as mutual as it could be. That I loved him, that I loved him as much as he loved me if not more.

"Please, don't ever break my heart again."

"I swear." He vows wholeheartedly.

I grab his face and pull his mouth towards mine, his cold lips and sweet breath are like a drug to me that I need to come back to all the time. It's like my body is craving from all the lost time and now wants its well deserved fix and some more.

After about a minute or two, he pulls himself back and rests his forehead on mine with his eyes closed. His jaw is tense and his breathing labored.

"God Bella, what do you do to me?" He asks more to himself, so I don't think he expects me to answer to that.

I lift my right hand and with the back of my fingers I trace his cheekbone, then I use my thumb to caress his eyelid… Finally I thread my fingers though his soft hair. I love everything about his hair the texture, the smell, its color…

I hear him purr as he leans his head to the side, grabs my hand and rests his face on my palm, then he inhales and kisses my wrist. The action is so instinctual, so animalistic… like a lion mating with a lioness.

"I could ask you the same thing." I murmur, rubbing my nose against his.

He chuckles and opens his eyes, then straightens himself up putting some distance between us. He is about to say something but then we kind of hear a rumble far away in the distance, Edward turns his head in direction of the sound.

"We should get out of here now, the storm is moving faster than I thought."

I look in the same direction as him, but can only see the gray sky filtering through the trees and since his eyesight is a thousand times better than mine I believe what he says.

He helps me out of the jeep, then we both walk to the back of the vehicle and I watch with wide eyes as he effortlessly hangs the ginormous camping backpack on his back, then proceeds to attach a huge duffle bag to it.

"Do you need any help?" I ask, even though I know it's unnecessary but after all this time it still blows me away all the strength a vampire can have.

He shakes his head.

"I'm good, but thanks." He smiles at me as he buckles the strap of the camping backpack across his chest "Are you ready? We can stop if you need a break but I'd prefer if we didn't. I don't want you to get sick if we get caught in the rain."

"Yes, I'm ready."

He takes a step closer to me.

"Here, put this on." He hands me his jacket "I know the weather is warm and all but the air is damp and the wind from the run might feel a bit chilly."

I nod and do as he says and before I know it he is picking me up and we are running at lighting speed though the woods.

About half an hour later Edward slows his pace and tells me we are almost there. Up here in the mountains the weather is better, the sky isn't as gray and as we reach the top of the slope I finally see in the distance the storm heading our way, but Edward was right we are still safe for a couple more hours. The view up here is breathtaking, and I'm able to see the cordillera as it continues as far as I can see to the west, it truly looks like something out of a fantasy book.

A few minutes later we are back into a woodsy area and he finally stops in a small clearing by a rock wall, which I assume is part of the mountain. We are surrounded by pines, rocks and more vegetation. To my left I can hear the sound of water and Edward tells me the river is around the wall. He puts me down and I take a moment to stretch my legs and back.

I walk around the clearing as he starts unpacking and setting up the tent, which now that I see it spread on the ground looks like it belongs to a circus. It's huge, squared shaped and I bet even Edward can walk in standing at full height. No wonder it looked like he was carrying another human the size of Emmett on his back.

"I thought storm proof tents were smaller, won't the wind blow this away?"

He chuckles.

"The material is water resistant, and no, it won't be blown away. Not with this screwed into the ground." He shows me some huge rock pegs, clearly made for something stronger than what we were using them for.

"Do you need any help?"

He thinks for a moment.

"Not really, I'll have this up in a minute. You can help with settling everything inside once I'm done."

"Ok, then if you don't need me right now I'll be by the river" I say taking my own duffle bag and a bottle of water from the cooler bag "I need a human minute." I smile and I know I must be blushing.

"Of course, I'll let you know when I'm done."

"Thank you."

I turn around and walk around the rock wall in direction of the river. With the recent rains the river is full but thankfully not overflowing.

I put my stuff by a tree near the edge and look around as I shrug off Edward's jacket welcoming the light breeze. It's not exactly a hot day if you compare it to places like Arizona, but by the standards of Canada and for being this far up in the mountain it is. And the summer rains don't exactly help with the humidity.

I walk a little further away into the woods and hide behind a tree. Mindful that no one is watching I pull down my jeans and pee behind some bushes. This is the only thing I hate about camping, but other than this inconvenience I don't really mind.

When I'm done I walk back to where I left my stuff. As I reach the tree by the edge of the river I notice that my tank top is slightly sticking to my back and under my breasts and I feel some perspiration running along my neck and upper back.

I look through my duffle bag and pull out my white tank top, the one that I sometimes use as pajamas, clean underwear and yoga pants. If we are going to be inside a tent for the rest of the day might as well get comfy.

I sit at the edge of the river and take off my sneakers, then put my feet inside the cold water and take a deep breath.

God, that feels so good.

Slowly I look around me and see that Edward is very much out of sight behind the rock wall, busy with the tent so an idea comes to mind. Quickly I pull my hair up in a messy bun, secretly happy that my hair is long enough now for it and take the black tank top I'm wearing off only to damp it in the river, then use it as a wet rag to clean the sweat off from my shoulders and neck. My jeans and bra follow and suddenly I'm waist deep in the river washing this long day away.

When I feel refreshed and reinvigorated I walk back to the edge and step out of the river. I dry myself with a small towel Esme gave me and put my fresh clothes on. Then I use the water bottle I grabbed from the cooler to brush my teeth and finally I feel a lot better. I put my stuff back inside my bag and walk back in direction of the camp.

The tent is up, and as I predicted it's huge. I bet it's the same size as Seth's warehouse back in Sundre. I spot Edward sitting on the floor at the entrance of the screen room under the canopy, staring intently at his phone.

"Did Lizzie call?" I ask, eager to hear from her. I enter the screen room and drop my stuff by the door to the bedroom, which is half zipped close so I cannot see inside yet.

"No," he says without looking at me, still staring intently at his phone "there's no signal up here."

He hands me his phone and then goes inside the bedroom. I stare after him, wondering what's up with him now. I thought we were fine.

Meh.

I shrug my shoulders to myself. Maybe he is just being moody, sometimes it's really hard to keep up with his mood swings.

I look down at his phone and see that Alice sent a message before we where out of reach.

Everything looks good as far as I can see. Esme and Carmen will leave with Lizzie and Seth tomorrow after lunch as planned. She is fine, she misses you both but Emmett and Seth are keeping her busy so she is ok. – Alice C

Attached to the text there's a picture of Lizzie in the living room playing a board game with Seth, Emmet and Kate.

My heart hurts when I see her, she is smiling but I can tell she is not really happy. My baby, I wish I could be there with her. Maybe this is why Edward was being weird, he must have seen the same thing and is missing her too.

I close the app and I'm taken away when I see the background picture in Edward's phone. It's a picture of me in our meadow back in forks. I look younger definitely a picture from when we were together back then.

I see my rounder cheeks, shinny hair, wide smile and pale skin. I've always been pale so there wasn't much difference in there when I got sick. But my hair's grown back and even though I'm still a little underweight, I don't look much different now. I smile to myself, glad that I don't look like a train wreck anymore.

I hear the tell-tale sound of rain starting to hit the ground, and I look up at the sky through the window. The sky has darkened a little more so I guess it's only a matter of time before the real rain starts.

I close the screen door and take off my shoes, leaving them next to Edward's in the corner. Then pick up my duffle bag and step inside the bedroom and notice that Edward has already arranged everything, not that there was much to do anyway there's just food and water to last me until tomorrow until Esme comes with more for me and Lizzie, Edward's small duffel bag with a change of clothes - he doesn't really need a toiletry bag -and the rest of my stuff.

He's laying on top of the air mattress, it's one of those big tall ones that can pass for an actual bed. He has his forearm thrown over his eyes and if I didn't know better, I could have sworn he was sleeping.

I walk towards him and throw myself on top of him making the mattress shake. I chuckle when he quietly moves me to the side and goes back to his old position. I ignore him and roll to my side and lean into him, ducking my head under his arm and cuddling into his side. It probably felt similar to snuggling with Michelangelo's David, except that this perfect marble creature sighs and wraps his arm around me to pull me closer.

"Don't you think this is too much? A sleeping bag would have suffice."

"I thought you'd be more comfortable." He says.

"Thank you." I lift my face and kiss his chin and I see a ghost of a smile on his lips.

I reach up with my left hand to pull his arm down and he opens his eyes, finally looking at me. I'm taken aback by the intensity of their color and it takes me a second to remember what I was about to ask.

Oh right.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why do you have this picture of me on your phone?" I show him his screen saver and he smiles sadly at me.

"I've had that photo there since Forks."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"Really? Why?"

"You want the ugly truth?"

I nod and he puts his right arm behind his head looking up at the ceiling, lost in some memory.

"When I left you that day, you looked so heartbroken. That was the last memory I had of you. I put that picture there so I could remind myself that as long as you were able to smile like that again… it was all worth it."

"You can be really stupid sometimes." I laugh sadly and he chuckles with me.

"I know, but why now?"

"You were the one who'd always put that smile on my face."

He rolls to the side and places his right hand over my cheek, caressing my face and brushing my hair away.

"I'm so sorry."

I grab his hand and bring it to my lips. I kiss his palm and then put it back were it was on my cheek with my own hand on top.

"I know," deep breath "I love you."

…

…

"I love you more."

I'm about to protest to that but he kisses me again, not letting me answer.

"You have no idea how amazing it feels to hear you say that." He whispers against my lips.

"I think I do."

I crush my lips against his one more time in a long passionate kiss and then we just stay there, lost in each others' eyes, inside our little bubble. For a moment, there are no threats, no sickness, no sadistic read heads or newborns chasing after us. It's just us. And I'm transported back in time when it was just the two of us too, back in Forks in my little twin sized bed in my dark room. Quietly loving each other so Charlie wouldn't wake up, like real teenagers.

I chuckle, thinking about all the things we did in that room oblivious to my sleeping father at the end of the hall.

"What?"

I shrug.

"Nothing, I'm just happy here with you."

Thinking about all the things we did in that room makes me remember other blissful moments as well. Like our meadow in the middle of the woods, my happiest place on earth.

The meadow will ever be a magical place for me, it will be the place were Edward first showed me his true self, I can still remember the way he shinned so beautifully under the sun, the fear and pain in his eyes thinking that I would run off scared for my life and it will also be the place where we were one for the first time, that magical night full of stars on my birthday.

Our little heaven in the middle of the woods.

The woods.

Where the fairytale ended, when he broke things off. The woods it's the place where I went into hiding after Charlie died and things went wrong with the pack and now, here we are again… hiding from bigger threats.

I wonder when everything will stop, if I'll ever have this feeling that the other shoe is about to drop fade away. Maybe, if we catch a break in the next couple of days and we survive this, when Alice changes me maybe then I'll finally feel this pressure, the gray cloud hanging over my head go away.

The sound of the rain hitting the ceiling increases, and we look up to the canopy. Its getting darker and the temperature feels like it's rising because of the humidity.

Edward kisses my forehead and gets out of the bed. He fully opens the door to our room and walks into to the screen room, then unzips the plastic covers half way on the screen door and windows leaving the mosquito nets on. I feel a light breeze rush in and I'm thankful for it.

He doesn't come back in here, so I stand up and join him. He is staring intently into the woods ahead of us and I circle my arms around him, burying my face on his back. His cold body feels so refreshing against my skin so I stick my hands under his shirt.

"I don't think I've ever been this grateful your temperature is lower than mine."

He laughs.

"I'm glad for once it's not an inconvenience."

He takes my hands and turns around, then he pulls me tighter against his hard chest, tucking my head under his chin. I close my eyes and inhale his scent. He raises our interlaced fingers to brush my cheek with the back of his hand and I put my hand over his to hold it to my face.

"Edward, what was your plan? Before everything went wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"If it hadn't been for my birthday's incident…" I lean away so I can look at his face "if you had stayed… what was your plan?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Stay with you for as long as you would have me. You are human, I thought that with time your human needs would come through and you'd eventually move on."

"And what would you have done then."

He smiles sadly at me.

"I would have let you go, watch you from afar as you lived your life, make sure you were happy, safe and had anything you needed."

I smile up at him.

"Like a guardian angel?"

He laughs out loud and rolls his eyes.

"Only you would call me that."

"And what about in 70 years… when the inevitable happened."

He shrugs again.

"I'd have followed you, right behind you."

I pull my eyebrows together, I didn't like that, not at all. I couldn't imagine a world where he didn't exist, just the thought of it made me feel sick to my stomach. It was a good thing I had the perfect excuse to hold against him.

"Well, if something happens to me tomorrow or in a hundred years from now… I don't want you to follow me. OK? Think about Lizzie."

"You already know I wouldn't do that, last year is proof of that. I won't lie to you I did entertain the idea at the beginning, but obviously I didn't went through with it."

I take a step backwards.

"What?" I gasp, not believing what I was listening.

"Bella, it's ok." He tries to take my hand but I yank it back, I'm furious at him.

"Explain what you mean you entertained the idea." I say through clenched teeth.

He takes a deep breath and there's something in his eyes, the way he twists his mouth in a grimed face tells me this is something difficult for him. That it pains him to talk about it, and my heart goes out to him but I don't care if he is in pain. I need an explanation.

"It was my darkest hour Bella, after I hung up the phone… I've never felt pain like that in my entire life. I wanted it gone."

"What about Lizzie?" I'm horrified by this and furious at him "I specifically asked you in my letter to take care of her."

"I know, and it was because of her that I didn't do it, I could never leave her. It was just for a few moments that the thought passed through my head, I swear it was just a moment of weakness." He takes my hand and brushes his thumb over the scars on my wrists "You should understand that better than anyone."

I abruptly pull my hand away.

"Edward, it's not the same thing. I was already dying, I was alone and in pain… I was just speeding up the inevitable."

"You still had a chance, you still had time."

Now he is getting mad too. Damn it why do we always end up arguing?

I shake my head.

"No I didn't!" I insist. "The only reason why I'm alive it's because of a miracle! How could you even think about giving up your life when you had a daughter to take care of?"

My voice breaks at the end and I'm scared now, scared for him… because now I cannot stop thinking about what we still have ahead of us. What if something happens to me? It doesn't even have to be because of Victoria, I can easily trip and open up my head on my way to the river tomorrow.

I think of the promises he made this morning. He promised Lizzie would be his first option, but what about later, when she is safe and sound? A moment of weakness can change everything forever.

"Bella," He reaches for my hand again "I'm sorry, I promise it was just for a second it crossed my mind. Elizabeth is my life, I'd never leave her behind. I swear."

"Good, because I could never forgive you. You hear me?"

He holds me against his chest and kisses my head.

"I know, I wouldn't forgive myself either. I give you my word, I'll always be there for her no matter what."

I nod against his chest, glad to hear him say it and suddenly I feel light headed, claustrophobic even. I sway a bit in his arms.

"Bella?" he steadies me "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You are looking pale. Why don't you lay down for a bit?"

I shake my head.

"It's just the heat," I say, feeling the perspiration on the back of my neck "can I get some water?"

"Sure, why don't you sit down? I'll bring you a bottle and something to eat."

I go back inside the bedroom and sit on the ground with my back against the mattress, after Edward pulls a bottle of water and a plastic container from the cooler bag he sits next to me and pulls me onto his lap, he takes off his shirt and I'm startled for a second before he makes me recline my back against his cold, hard and beautiful chest.

"Listen to your heart fly," he murmurs "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you sure you are all right? With everything going on we didn't have a chance to pick up your test results yesterday. We'll do that first thing as soon as we get back." He says worriedly, palming my forehead.

How do I explain to him that the sudden burst in my heart rate has nothing to do with my physical health and everything to do with him without embarrasing myself?

"I'm fine, just light headed. I did a lot of hiking today, remember?"

He hands me my water and fruit.

"Thanks."

I drink my water and snack on my fruit as he caresses my arms with his cold fingers. When I'm done with my water I put the food aside and turn sideways in his arms, my face cradled between his shoulder and his hand while his thumb stroked my cheek.

"I think I have a new happy place." I say closing my eyes.

"What was that?"

I shake my head.

"I love you."

I feel the smile on his lips against my forehead.

"I love you more, angel."

"What time is it?"

Edward looks at his phone.

"Ten thirty."

We are both laying on the airbed, I changed my yoga pants into pajama shorts a while ago when the rain and wind increased and Edward had to shut close every window and the main entrance of the tent. The humidity must be bothering him too because he's had this weird expression since then.

I've tried to sleep, but the sound of heavy rain and thunder won't let me. Thank god Edward's body is pressed against my back otherwise the heat would have also been an issue. We played cards for a while but after Edward won 7 times in a row I gave up. I glared at him every time, trying to ignore the way his smile made my heart react but would only make him laugh harder.

"What do you think the rest are doing?" I ask quietly.

"Emmett and Jasper are probably placing bets on how many newborns each will take."

I roll my eyes, of course this was all a game for them.

"Alice is probably preparing everyones wardrobe for the battle." I snort.

"Yes, she was thinking about making football jerseys for everyone. You know, to show up as a team."

"Oh god," I laugh covering my face with my mouth "are you kidding?"

"I wish I was." He laughs with me.

"Your sister is really something."

"Yup, when she has her eyes set on something nothing ever stops her."

"She has no patience either."

"She can when she wants to, she waited for Jasper for years."

A strong gush of air rattles the tent, making the camping lantern hanging in the ceiling shake.

I turn around in his arms so I can see his face

"Did she?"

"Yes, of course Jasper didn't know at the time but Alice saw him coming years before they met."

"Why didn't she go after him?"

"Well, you know the story about how Jasper became a vampire, right?"

I nod, remembering Jasper telling me about his past with the newborns and the civil war. His own scarred body was a reminder of his darkest times.

"Alice saw that it wasn't safe for any of them to approach him yet. So she waited patiently until he was ready to leave that lifestyle behind."

"Jasper would have hurt her?"

He shrugs.

"Maybe, but he wouldn't have been himself. Those first years are extremly hard."

My knowledge of those first few years as a new vampire was sketchy. Edward had never gone into details until recently, it wasn't his favorite subject. Self-control was apparently an acquired skill.

But I just can't imagine hurting Edward, or my daughter, no matter how crazed with thirst I was.

He traces my eyebrow with his thumb

"You are frowning."

"Could that possibly be me? Are Jasper and Emmett also betting on how many times I'll slip?"

"That part doesn't last forever, and I'll do my very best to prevent you doing something you'll regret later."

"What about you? Will I try to hurt you too?"

"No if you don't feel threatened by me."

"But Jasper could have hurt Alice, and she would have never threatened him."

"But Jasper didn't know that, he didn't know her."

I still wasn't convinced, and now I had something else to worry about.

"Jasper and Alice will come with us to Alaska, they'll help taking care of you until you are stable enough to come back to civilization."

I don't say anything, my head is too preocupied thinking ahead.

"Bella, are you are having second thoughts?"

"No, I want to become like you it's just- I never stop to think about those first years until now that we are dealing with newborns… it took me by surprise, what you said about Alice and Jasper."

"Are you sure? Bella, if you don't want this I'd totally understand." He says and I could see the mix of pain and hope behind his eyes even though he tried to hide it.

I shake my head.

"I do want it."

"Are you sure? Because I've been telling you for months that I'd change you, and you said no everytime until we learned about the army, and now that that's being dealt with you are hessitating." He presses.

"I'm not hessitating, it's just that I could never even phantom the idea of hurting you and… I won't ever forgive myself if I harmed you."

"Jasper will be there to keep you calm, Alice will forsee any reaction from you and I'll be there too, to protect you from yourself. It'll be alright." He strokes my face reassuringly "But Bella, it's not too late to change your mind."

"I haven't changed my mind, I never did… I've always wanted this."

"I'm so confused now."

…

…

…

"You said you'd change me if I wanted to." I finally say what I've been dying to tell him all along "you never said you would do it because you wanted it too. When I asked you to give me something only you can give me, that's what I meant. I wanted you to give me inmortality because you wanted me to spend the rest of my existence with you. Not because you felt guilty for leaving or because I was dying… I wanted you to show me you really wanted me to be with you."

"Bella, why didn't you say anything before?" He was appalled.

"Edward, I didn't know how you really felt about me. I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want me back."

His hold in me tightens and I feel his lips on my ear.

"It still baffles me how quickly you believed my lies, after all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"

"You are a very good liar."

"God, misscomunication has always been the very source of our problems." He says to the heavens before looking intently at me.

After a long pause, he gets off the bed and motions me to sit on the edge, after I comply he kneels in front of me and takes both of my hands in his, trapping me there. I'm lost in his eyes, they are burning, full with emotion and unwavering. I can't look away.

"Bella, the only reason why I didn't change you the moment I got you back was because this is your decision, not mine. It has never been my decision, it's your mortality you are giving up, not mine. I could never make a decision like that for you and you shouldn't do it because of me, this is something you'll have to live with for the rest of your life and no matter what you choose, I'll always be there with you, human or vampire I'll always love you and there's nothing you can do about that."

My heart is hammering in my ears, my chest heaving with adrenaline and I can't form a coherent thought in my mind.

"But, if you want to know how I really feel about it before you make a decision, I'll tell you right now that if you decide to join me in inmortality, you'd make my ultimate, wildest dreams come true." I gasp "Because that means I'll have you forever and a lifetime with you has never been enough. That's the only thing I've ever wanted, to have a life with you but because I know the sacrifices, I never wanted you to pay the price. That's why it would be so selfish and wrong of me to take your mortatily for my benefit. But please, be sure that no matter what you'll always have me, I'm yours for eternity."

"You are mine?" I ask in a whisper, still awed by his words.

"Yes, completely."

I look down at my hands and think about my choices.

What exactly do I want?

And it's then and there while I'm staring at our joined hands in my lap and I catch a glimpse of the scar in my hand that James left that I know. I finally know what I need from him to help me through this.

"I know what I want." I say, meeting his eyes again.

"Whatever, it's yours."

"I want you to be the one to do it."

The world stops, and I could swear everything went quiet, even the rainstorm outside ceased.

…

…

…

"Ok… I'll do it."

I gasp.

"You will?" I ask in a tiny voice, stunned.

"Yes, but I'd like to ask for something too."

He's nervous, I can tell because of the rigidness of his shoulders but at the same time he has neever looked so stunningly gorgeous.

"What is that?"

"Marry me."

"What?" I choke on my own breath.

"Marry me."

"Oh my god," I feel my eyes fill with tears "are you serious?" I ask, my vision blury.

"I want you, forever… I want to make it official."

"It can't be more official than already is." I laugh through my tears before throwing myself at him.

I straddle him on the floor and crush my lips against his, he immediately responds and takes control of the situation. The way he was kissing me… it was different, this kiss was not quite as careful as others, which suited me just fine.

So I kissed him back, my heart pounding out a jagged, disjointed rhythm while my breathing turned to panting and my fingers moved greedily to his face. I could feel his marble body against every line of mine. His hands memorized my face, the same way mine were tracing his, and, in the brief seconds when his lips were free, he whispered my name like a prayer.

I'm panting now, and he breaks the kiss to let me get some much needed air. It's times like this when I really wished I didn't need air to survive.

"I need to hear you say it Bella, out loud. Please." he said, voice soft, eyes fierce.

I laugh through my tears.

"Yes, Edward. I'll marry you." I cry with joy.

In that instant, something in my chest gives and I feel lighter… braver. Like as if somehow, the dark cloud over my head had vanished. Everything was right in the world for a second and I've never felt stronger.

He's mine.

He kisses me again, and now this kiss is fierce and I feel my heart accelerating once more.

It's bolder, it's freeing. It's more intense.

I don't know how, but once again we are on the air mattress and I find myself under him as my hands travel from his neck down his torso. To my suddenly overheated skin, his body felt colder than ever. I tremble, but it's not from the chill of his body.

He pulls away after a minute but thankfully his lips never leave my skin as they travel down my neck until they reach my collarbone and I'm barely able to catch my breath.

"Edward, please." I beg, my chest is heaving heavily and I can barely form half sentences.

I feel him exhale in my neck, and I can feel the restraint on the rigidness of his body. But I'm not having any of it. I love him, he is mine and I'm his. Forever. I want him and I want him now.

I grab his face and make him look at me, I see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear and self-doubt.

"I trust you, please."

"Bella… I-"

"Can we just try? I know we can do it. I have faith in you."

"Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"

"Then don't refuse" I suggested breathlessly, panting, desperately waiting for his answer.

"Bella, if I hurt you-"

"Shh…" I put my fingers over his lips "You won't, I have faith in us."

He sighs and shakes his head, but it's not in denial.

He's surrendering.

His lips are ghosting over my throat and I feel his nose under my ear as he inhales deeply, as if getting familiar with my scent, desynthesizing. And I know this must make me fucked up in the head but the action only serves to make the increasing pain between my legs stronger.

My hands are shaking, but not from nerves. They are shaking in anticipation as I reach for the button of his jeans but when I'm about to unzip him his hand stops me.

"Wait, we are doing this right."

I'm confused for a second until he reaches for the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head. He closes the distance between us with another long, deep kiss as his hands travel down and onto my back, unclipping my bra and suddenly I'm laying there, half naked under him.

He stares at my half naked body in reverence, his eyes are ablaze with desire and I have never felt this much like a goddess. The fact that I could make this man, this incredible creature look at me like that was astounding.

"God, you are gorgeous." He says in awe.

"Show me." I whisper.

He smiles at me with his crooked smile, the one he knew I couldn't resist before leaning down and pressing his lips at the base of my throat. His hands move lower by my sides and I gasp when I feel his thumbs brush the underside of my breast. Hitching my leg up higher, I pressed myself closer to him, making him hiss against my neck.

His mouth is moving lower now too and I feel his thumb ghost over my nipple before he palms my breast and starts a slow tortuous massage. A minute later, his mouth follows. I'm panting, feeling his lips wrap around my nipple then moan as I thread my fingers through his hair and I'm unable to stop myself from arching into him. My legs start shaking, my body tenses, and he feels it. He feels my desire.

Dear lord have mercy on me.

The burning between my thighs intensifies and I unconsiously start moving my hips. I need the friction but Edward stops me, telling me to be patient.

When he is done sucking on my breast he moves to the other and his hand goes lower and lower until he reaches where I need his touch the most. He palms my entrance over my pajama shorts and starts moving his hand up and down, stroking with his long and strong fingers and I cry out in pleasure as he continues paying tribute to my beasts with his tongue. My fingers are all over his hair and neck as I pull him closer to me. My head is about to explode from the lack of oxigen as I pant and beg for more.

He starts moving lower, and I'm equally confused as intrigued when he reaches the bottom of my belly and gives it a tender kiss before hooking his fingers into my shorts and underwear and pulls them down.

"Edward wha-"

He hushes me with his lips agains my skin, his cold tongue gliding along my pelvic area.

"Oh god!" I cry out and I don't know who's being louder, me or the storm going outside.

His fingers start exploring, stroking a Iand I have never been myself in. His icecold touch against my burning skin feels like nothing I've ever felt before and it's staggering.

My hips start thrusting up on instinct, but before I'm mortified by this he takes a good grip of my inner thighs and spreads my legs wider for him holding me in place as his tongue replaces his fingers.

He groans and I gasp as he plants a kiss on my clit. An open mouthed one. Sucking slightly, flicking with his tongue. I moan louder.

Sweet Jesus.

"Edward!" I scream, shocked and overwhelmed by this new sensations I've never felt before.

He doesn't stop, he never stops. He doesn't need to come up for air and that's what it'll probably kill me. That's it, he's killing me.

I'm shaking with pleasure, panting and moaning. I should be embarrassed but I can't think of anything else but his tongue and fingers inside me.

The burning is unbearable, and even though his touch and kiss are the solution to the pain, they also intensify it. Then there's the tingling sensation at the bottom of my stomach, that with each passing second becomes bigger and bigger. He works me harder, faster… oh my god… more… I shut my eyes tightly, I can't breathe. I feel the pleasure rip through my body in waves. I shiver violently.

"Edward!" I scream loudly as my body explodes.

Time passes, it could have been a second it could have been hours I don't know but I'm staring at nothing as I come down from the high.

Don't know when it happened but his muscular body is covering mine now, his hair on the side of my face, making me shiver as his scent hits me… he is whispering something but my mind is still clouded with bliss.

"So beautiful… I love you, my Bella. Mine."

His erection is right there in position. His mouth on the spot below my ear, my arms around him, my legs wrapped around his waist, my mouth on his shoulder.

The tent rattles intensely with the force of the wind, the lantern that was hanging on the ceiling shakes violently and falls with a loud crash on the ground, breaking and leaving us in complete darkness. But it's ok, I'm not afraid. As long as I have him I know that everything will be alright.

"I love you more." I whisper when I'm finally able to speak.

"That's simply not possible."

I feel his face, memorizing every line and shape with my touch. Even in the darkness you'd be able to tell he was beautiful.

He shuddered, shivered and throbbed against me between my thighs. He was still scared… and I did my best to reassure him with my touch that everything would be fine. I felt him, and I wanted him to feel me too. And with that decided, I ground myself against him and he moaned, loudly as he sucked on my pulse point.

And then he kissed me. Hard. Passionately. Slowly. As he finally pushed himself inside me, every inch of him stretching me.

More.

Deeper.

He's all the way in and I have tears of joy falling down my cheeks. He kisses them away as we lay there. Feeling each other. Loving each other.

I've never felt something quiet like this. This is different, this is something more than last time. It feels, liberating, as if we were finally free to love each other. No more secrets, no more lies.

And I want more, we both do.

He palms my breasts, making us both moan and shiver, god so many shivers. The thunder lightens the inside of the tent for a second or two, and I'm able to see the magnificence that is him moving over me. I pull his mouth to mine, because I need him closer. He cannot be close enough.

Edward curses and speeds up his movements, and I feel everything at once.

I whimper, it triggers him.

Our hands still wondering, never breaking our kiss. My breathing picks up, so does his. All those shivers, the breath-hitching, the urge to have more is driving me crazy.

Drawing a ragged, shaky breath, I tug on his hair making him face me and god, our lustful eyes meet as another thunder hits, making me wetter and wanting impossibly more.

Chests heaving rapidly, his hands working me, exploring me, pleasuring me.

We are a tangled mess together, ice and fire, so close. Lips, tongues, moving sensually, setting me on fire, making me crave and want more and more.

And I feel it again, that burning, that tingling sensation at the pit of my stomach. It's coming back, stronger, bigger. Almost there.

"Fuck, Bella!"

"Oh god!"

My scream gets drowned with the roar of another thunder breaking the sky. I'm there again, flying, high in that perfect place I never want to come down.

My body releases one final shudder, and my head drops down against the pillow. Edward's mouth trails soft kisses up my neck, across my throat, and finally my mouth.

He kisses me slowly, and then wraps his warm arms around me and rolls on to his back, taking me with him. I settled my still gasping body up against his, and tried to relax as his hand roams tenderly over my back.

I feel his lips brush down my jaw line and back up again. He kisses the spot behind my ear before speaking softly into my ear.

"I love you."

I'm still breathing hard, but slowly I start regaining consciousness of my surroundings. Something feels off.

"Are we on the ground?" I ask dumbfounded.

He chuckles sheepishly.

"I don't think the air mattress was up for the task."

I laugh, out loud and he starts kissing me all over my face.

I smile. I smile so widely because it felt right. It felt perfect, and I press my lips against his neck, kissing him, breathing him in.

My future husband.

"I love you more." I say, closing my eyes feeling exhausted.

He shakes his head but says nothing.

"Sleep, it's been a long day."

"You'll be here in the morning?"

"Always."

The sound of the river and the wind gushing through the trees woke me in the morning. Late morning, maybe afternoon I wasn't sure. I didn't open my eyes, I was too happy to change anything, I could also hear a bird here and there. I was comfortable, even with the hot weather his cool skin was the perfect antidote to the heat and I could feel the occasional breeze glide through the tent.

His fingers softly trailed down the contours of my spine, and I knew that he knew I was awake. I kept my eyes shut and tightened my arms around his neck, holding myself closer to him.

"Morning beautiful." He whispered and I finally opened my eyes.

He had opened the windows, the dimed light of the cloudy day filtered through the net.

My eyes traced over his pale white features: the hard square of his jaw, the straight line of his nose, the softer curve of his full lips, twisted up into a lazy smile.

I saved his eyes for last, knowing that when I looked into them I was likely to lose my train of thought. They were soft, warm with liquid gold. Staring into his eyes always made me feel extraordinary — the feeling brought back memories from last night in vivid colors.

"Hi." I say with my raspy, morning voice.

"Hi." He breathes and I smile, my chest filling with joy. This is so different from last time, he is here, I can't believe it. He is here, it's not a dream.

"What?" He asks curiously.

"You are here." I say simply and it downs on him, he smiles back.

"I'm here."

He kisses me tenderly, and flashes from last night come forward. I can still feel his touch, they way he made me feel. So loved and adored… wanted.

"I love you… fiancé."

I smile against his lips.

That's right, I'm his future wife.

"I love you more, hubby."

He laughs.

"Emmett is going to love that."

"He doesn't really have a leg to stand on, Rosalie owns his ass."

"True. But you own mine too so I guess we are even."

I laugh and snuggled closer to him and make a quick subtle assessment, stretching my body, tensing and flexing my muscles. There was stiffness, and soreness, too, it was true, but probably it had more to do with the fact that we slept in the hard ground. Other than that I was fine, perfect.

"Is the inventory complete?" He asks, and I guess I wasn't that subtle.

I chuckle and reach up and kiss him.

"Everything is perfect."

"Are you sure?" He frowns and I smile reassuringly.

"I'm fine Edward, really. What about you? Are you Ok?"

"I'm perfect, too."

My smile becomes wider and he is kissing me again. I place my hand on his chest, and that's when I notice the clothes he is wearing.

"You changed?" I ask, staring at his fresh jeans and shirt.

He nods.

"Yes, it's almost noon. Lizzie and the others were supposed to leave after lunch."

And just like that, the bubble bursts.

"Oh."

That's right… the battle.

He starts stroking my hair tenderly.

"When will you leave?"

He lets out a long sigh.

"As soon as they get here. Jasper wants to train again today before the battle tomorrow."

I nod, the sense of doom coming back full force. He can't leave, not after last night. If I lost him… I couldn't even imagine what that would do to me.

I have to do something.

Lizzie, maybe she'll be able to convince him to stay with us.

"C'mon, you need to eat something you barely touched your food last night." He smiles at me as he gets out of the bed. Then he hands me my duffle bag "Here, why don't you put on some clothes and join me out side. The weather is nicer today."

"Sure, I just need a human minute first." I say, as I feel my bladder about to explode.

"Ok, I'll get your food ready."

I put on last night's clothes, grab my stuff and walk out of the tent. Edward was right, the weather was slightly better today. I walk in direction of the river and after relieving my bladder I sat again at the edge of the river. The current was stronger because of last night's storm so I don't dare to get in but I do my best to clean myself up with a wet rag. After I'm done brushing my teeth I pick up my stuff and walk back to camp.

The rest of the morning goes by quietly, and I spend the entire time trying to come up with something to convince Edward to stay. I see his point, he doesn't want to leave his family alone to face the newborn army and he is determined to kill Victoria himself. But I'm terrified of something happening to him. Victoria is smart, too smart and even if he can read her mind she's slippery. She has surviving instincts, she has lasted this long for a reason.

I look up at Edward, we are on the ground he has his back on a tree and I'm sitting between his legs reclined on his chest. His eyes are closed and his skin is sparkling slightly with the tiny rays of sunlight that are flickering through the clouds as he plays with a few strands of my hair, twirling a lock with his long fingers. This is something he hasn't done in years, and he used to do it all the time when we were in Forks, I smile fondly at the memory.

The anxiety in my chest increases.

Something's wrong, I can feel it. Call me crazy, maybe I am but… he can't go. For my sanity at least, he has to stay with us.

"They are almost here." He whispers "I can hear Esme." He frowns.

"What?"

"Rosalie's with them."

"Why?" I ask puzzled and he shakes his head.

"I'm not sure… I think she got into a fight with Emmett and switched places with Carmen."

"They got into a fight?"

I'm shocked, I mean not that they got into a fight they are always bickering but what could they have argued about that was so big she preferred to leave one day before the battle? And to come and babysit me of all people.

"Yes, but I'm not sure about what. She's blocking me."

"Oh, well… not our business anyway."

Edward is still frowning, listening.

"What?"

"Seth… I can hear him now, and since the pack is getting closer he can hear them now too."

"You can hear Jacob?" I ask amazed "Where are they?"

"Around Kamloops, the army hasn't moved in hours they are waiting for their leader. Jasper told them to not make their presence known until they get closer to Sundre."

"How many are they?"

"Twenty five."

Twenty five, plus Victoria and the leader… twenty seven. They are still outnumbered.

My heart starts picking up.

"It'll be fine." He kisses my temple and I start counting heads.

There are eight wolves and ten vampires that'll be fighting against and army of twenty seven vampires. How on earth is that fine.

My head starts feeling light and I feel sick to my stomach.

"They are here." Edward says moving us to a standing position and then Esme steps into the clearing with Lizzie in her arms, followed by Seth in his wolf form and Rosalie, who is carrying a camping backpack on her back.

"Daddy! Mommy!" Lizzie screams delighted when she sees us and jumps from Esme's arms and runs towards us.

I'm barely able to move, I'm frozen with fright.

Edward catches her in her arms and twirls her around before pepering her face with kisses. They are both so happy, unaware of the torment within me.

"I missed you princess!" Edward looks elated, his smile is so bright, brighter than the sun. Lizzie is smiling too, they both wear the same smile. I can't lose them.

My mind is suddenly filled with images of Edward injured. Unable to move as a bunch of faceless vampires strike, going for his jugular.

"Mommy? Why are you crying? Are you Ok?" Lizzie's worried voice brings me back to reality and I see her staring at me from Edward's arms, who is now looking at me worriedly too.

I shake my head.

"Yes baby, I'm just so happy to see you." I say stretching my arms towards her.

She is too heavy for me now, but I make an effort and take her in my arms. I kiss her cheeks and inhale her scent. After last night, it now occurs to me that her scent is just a sweeter version of Edwards.

"She was safe the whole time, and we had fun last night didn't we sweetie?" Esme says coming forward.

"Yes! Mommy, you should have seen Uncle Emmy. He let me paint his nails with Auntie Ali's nail polish! He looked awesome!"

Edward laughs but he still has his eyes on me.

"I'd have loved to see that, angel. Why don't you and mommy put your stuff inside the tent?" He points in direction of our tent, Rosalie is a few feet away setting up her own smaller tent that I assume she and Esme will share. "I need to talk to nana for a sec."

I put Lizzie back on the ground and Edward takes my hand.

"I'll be with you in a sec, just need to talk to Esme about something." He whispers and gives me a meaningful look in Rose's direction and I nod in understanding. Lizzie is not exactly a fan of Rose.

But it's ok, I need a minute. I need to think.

I follow Lizzie inside our tent, once inside I hear Seth's voice so that means he has phased back. Lizzie immediately drops her stuff in the ground and goes back running outside following his voice.

I pull at my hair, my heart is hammering.

Someone enters the screen room and I turn around thinking it's Edward and I'm taken aback when I see Rosalie there, holding a box.

"Are you Ok?" she asks, her perfect eyebrows pulling together.

"Yeah," I lie "what's up?" I ask, not knowing what she might be doing here.

Rosalie and I have no relationship at all. Aside from that time when she called me a brat in the Cullen's living room I don't think we have ever had a conversation before and I'm not just talking since I got here earlier this year, I mean since Forks.

"Alice sends you this." She hands me the box and I notice is a new air bed. "She says you might need it."

"Oh," I say blushing scarlet "Thanks."

"You are welcome." She has the ghost of a smirk before stepping out of the tent.

I toss the box on top of what was left of the other mattress and start pacing. I don't care about the damn bed.

I'm pulling at my hair, something I haven't done since the first strands of hair started falling out when I started my treatment.

I can't breathe. I can't do this, I cannot put a brave face and send him to war with a fucking smile plastered on my face. For some reason, my mind wanders to those first days after he left me. The confusion, the pain, the smell of the funeral home at Charlie's wake.

Charlie.

I still remember the dressing over his neck, covering the gash in his throat. I need air, I can't breath and I'm panicking. I know.

With my heart hammering in my throat I step out of the tent through the back door and run in direction of the woods.

I run, I run and run until my lungs are burning. My mind filled with horrid memories.

Charlie's dead body, my hands stained with his blood as I try to close his wounds with my bare hands while he lays there lifelessly on the kitchen floor. Rene's rejection. My cracked ribs. The wolves howling at night while I delivered Lizzie, the growling, the blood, the fear. Paul losing control and coming after me and Lizzie. My bald, horrid face infront of the mirror, hollowed cheeks and purple eyes, needles and tubes comming out from all of my body.

Charlie's dead body in the kitchen.

Breathe.

Charlie's dead body inside a box.

Breathe!

Charlie's face suddenly changes, and I'm horrified when it morphs into Edward's.

And I lose it. The whole in my chest reopens, and comes back with vengeance leaving me breathless.

I don't see where I'm going so is no surprise that I crash against something hard, but I never fall, instead I'm lifted of the ground.

Edward is holding me, and I'm bawling hysterical like a baby.

"Please don't go!" I scream at him "Please! You promised! You promised you'd stay!"

"Bella-"

"You promised you'd never leave me!" I scream at him, and I know I'm beeing unfair and unreasonable.

I know exactly what I'm doing.

"Bella, I'm not leaving you!" He pleads, and he looks so confused so out of sorts.

"How do I know that?! How do I know you are not lying to me?!"

His eyes are wide and alarmed.

"Bella I-"

I push him away with all the strenght that's left of me.

"How do I know you won't leave me tomorrow? After the threat's gone and we are safe?!"

I hated to do this, I hated to throw this back to his face and that only made me cry harder. Because I was a monter, a real one. Not like the one he claimed to be but a real one, the one that is so selfish it'll hurt the people they love to get their way.

I brace myself for what I'm about to do next. But I have no choice, I'm in survival mode now.

"You already had me last night!"

And that did it, his face contorts in pain and I cry harder.

"So now you are leaving! Right?! You are leaving me and Lizzie behind!"

"Ok ok! Stop! Stop!" He says panicking too and takes me in his arms, crushing me against his chest and holding me tight "I'm not going anywere, Ok? I'll stay with you." He is shaking "Jesus angel, please calm down."

A tremendous relief fills my entire body. I take a deep breath and exhale, my head is spinning.

"I'm sorry." I cry, and I'm sure I have ruined his shirt by now with my tears.

I was sorry, I was ashamed of myself. I hated to make him do this but not enough that I could backtrack and tell him to go ahead without me.

"Don't apologize," He says, stroking the back of my head, his voice hoarce. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need…" He shrugged. "You are my first priority."

"I'm sorry." I cry harder.

"Shh… it's ok, I know. I love you, it's ok." He continues to reassure me and I sway on my feet.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, I love you angel."

And everything goes black.

HOLY SHIIIIIIIT!

And there you have it! MY version of a tent scene! You can thank Taylor Swift for that, I have her new album on repeat and "Dress" is one of my favorite songs on the album so she helped with the inspiration process and coincidentally this chapter is named after one of my favorite songs from her last album too. If you follow me on twitter you know I'm a hardcore swiftie! Lol!

You know that sometimes you play with scenes in your head and that's how a story comes up? That happened to me with One More Chance, and the same thing happened here. For this story the two scenes I imagined are when Bella comes back at Lizzie's play and this chapter. At the beggining of the story this chapter was supposed to play a bit different but as the story progressed and the characters start having a voice of their own it changed, but the core part remained which was Bella and Edward's reunion and Bella guilting Edward into staying, opposite of what happened in Eclipse with Bella and Jacob when she asks him to kiss her and he still leaves for battle, but that was the general idea.

Anyway... now, what's wrong with Bella? And what's with that bad feeling she has? What did Rose and Emmett fight about? AND WHERE'S VICTORIA?!

All those answers comming up next chapter!

See you soon!

Tammy