Well hello there! Not sure if anyone is still out there but in anycase, I feel like it's time to continue this story. One thing I can promise you is that I WILL finish this story, I know it has taken me a long while but life happened. I think I'm in a better place now so I decided to come back and finish this. I estimate there's about 8 chapters tops left and I'll try to commit in finishing this story this year.

I really hope you guys are still out there, if not I'll understand.

This has not been bettaed, so all mistakes are mine.

Alright, here we go! See ya at the bottom!

Chapter 33: Salvation

"Salvation" – Gabrielle Aplin

You are the avalanche
One world away
My make believing
While I'm wide awake

Just a trick of light
To bring me back around again
Those wild eyes
A psychedelic silhouette

I never meant to fall for you but I
Was buried underneath and
All that I could see was white
My salvation
My, my
My salvation
My, my

I let out a long sigh in relief as the house comes into view. It's just Edward, Lizzie and I on Emmett's jeep. We all separated, all having different jobs to do if we were to survive the next 36 hours when the Volturi arrive.

Seth had to stay with his brothers, he argued against it wanting to be with Lizzie but with the volturing coming Alice needed to have as clear of a vision as possible so we had to remove the wolves from our path for the next several days. Right now, he's helping take care of Collin, who is still paralyzed from getting bitten. Thankfully, Jared and Embry's wounds are healing fast and would be ok by tomorrow, Carlisle assured us after setting their bones straight. After Collin gets control back of his body, they'll all fly back to Seattle so they avoid running into the Volturi. Seth will go back home to La Push and stay there a few weeks before joining Edward, Lizzie and I.

It was a heated conversation between Edward and Jacob, the pack said they weren't scared and were hell bent on fighting the Volturi but after Seth and Jasper intervened and explained to Jacob how this family was different from other vampires, Jacob finally relented. So Edward and Eleazar arranged it all and bought plane tickets for all of them to get them out of here as soon as possible.

Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle took Rosalie's body back to Edward's and I camp, they are packing up everything and moving up even higher in the mountains. We don't know when or how Rosalie is going to wake up, so Jasper suggested it would be best if Lizzie and I are not anywhere nearby. Also we don't want the Volturi running into her and ask questions about her state since we don't have answers either.

Poor Rose.

Whenever I close my eyes, I see her scarred face and hear her screams in the back of my mind. I still can't believe what she did, and now… there's not much left to do but wait.

"What happened?" Esme whispers as Emmett shakes Rosalie's shoulder.

"Rosie? Babe?"

"Is she dead?" Jasper asks with wide eyes.

A dozen emotions cross over Emmett's face.

"We cannot tell, not without a heartbeat." Edward says pulling at his hair with his right hand "Rose? Can you hear us? Can you move anything? A finger?"

Nothing.

Carlisle brings out his phone, opens one of her eyelids with his thumb and passes the flashlight over her eyes.

"No, her pupils are responsive… I think… I think she's asleep?" He says not believing his own words.

"That's impossible." Eleazar says.

"Bella," Edward looks at me as I approach them slowly. Curiously. "What did it feel like when you used them?"

I think about it.

"Like being high, I guess... depending on the amount I'd take. It also felt really cold, like constantly drinking iced water." I look at Jacob, remembering how he would hug me or lay with me to keep me warm. "After a while I would doze off, though."

"When Bella used them on me, it felt cold in the area where she applied them too." Edward tells at Carlisle "But that was it."

Carlisle touches Rosalie's forehead.

"Her temperature is dropping." He purses his lips into a thin line, not liking not having any answers "Let's take her somewhere safe until we know more." The worry in his voice for his first daughter does nothing to appease Emmett. His face creased with worry and pain for his mate.

It's been about 12 hours since Rose closed here eyes, after everything was through and plans were laid out the Denali sisters took off, Garret went with them after promising Eleazar he will watch over them and help them in their grief for their sister while they stay with us a little longer. Carmen and Eleazar are staying to help Esme and Alice on moving us away and in case we need back up if anyone else shows up unannounced like Garret did, looking to fight newborns along with the Volturi.

We are all hoping tonight's rain will help erase mine and Lizzie's scents. The plan is for Edward, Lizzie and I to go to Isle Esme for a few weeks. The rest of our family will stay and meet the Volturi to avoid any suspicion and they'll say that with the help of some friends from farther north they eliminated the newborns since they were threatening their way of living.

We figured sticking as closed to the truth as possible was the best route. If they ask for Edward they'll say he has found his mate and is travelling the world with her. Which is also kind of true, he'll be travelling with me, they just won't know I'm not a vampire yet.

After the plans were laid out Edward, Lizzie and I went back to get the Jeep Edward had hid in the woods two days ago. By the time we got there it was raining so hard we had to stay put in the jeep for a few hours after getting stuck in the unstable terrain. This agitated Edward and put him in a very bad mood since he worried about me not having eaten anything all day. No matter how many times I assured him I was fine he kept cursing. I fell asleep and woke again when we were finally able to move.

As Edward parks the jeep in the garage, my mind goes back to Tanya and Kate… I sigh again. Losing their sister was extremely hard on them, especially under the circumstances. Her betrayal is something that will forever haunt them and be a source of pain for them. I look at Edward to my left and can't stop myself from thinking in what ifs. What if Irina hadn't made the mistake of joining the fight to soon and we had realized too late they were coming for us? What would have happen then?

Edward kills off the engine but doesn't move, we just sit there in silence, listening to Lizzie's even breathing. She's asleep on my lap, her head on my chest.

"At what time are we leaving for Calgary? I know you said early but…" I ask softly, seeing the sun setting in the distance and dreading all I have to do before that. The past few days are finally catching up with me, tired as hell, my brain is so fried I feel like I could sleep for an entire week. I really don't know how I'm still functioning, particularly after today.

"Four," Damn "our flight takes off at eight. We fly to Houston and the we take a direct flight to Rio de Janeiro."

"Do we have to leave tomorrow?" I ask, my eyelids heavy.

"I'm afraid so," I feel his cold hand in my forehead "what's the matter?"

"I'm exhausted."

"I know, I'm sorry but we have to put as much distance as we can as soon as possible. But don't worry, you can go straight to bed, Alice and I will handle everything and I'll wake you up before we go."

For once, I don't argue with that. That's how tired I am.

But then, my stomach growls violently.

My stomach is not done protesting when Edward's already opening the passenger door for me. He swiftly and easily takes both me and Lizzie and carry us both inside and straight to our room where he put us both on top of the bed.

"Rest, I'll bring you dinner and afterwards you can sleep. I'll wake you up an hour before we leave so you can get ready."

"Thank you." I smile sleepily at him and he kisses my forehead before he leaves the room.

With another sigh I pull at my pony tail to let my hair loose and that's when I notice the dirt in my fingernails and hair, then I realize I still have dried blood over my arm and shoulder from when I fell.

I shiver as I remember the horde of vampires coming at me, which makes me think of Rose again and my heart breaks in anguish.

How is she? Has she woken up? Is she in pain? Will she wake up?

No matter how tired I am, I can't shut my brain off. So I ignore Edward's request and get out of the bed and walk directly into Edward's big bathroom, thinking that maybe a hot shower can help me relax and wash off the day. I wouldn't be able to sleep all dirty anyway, especially if I know that Edward must be uncomfortable with the smell of my blood, no matter how much he swears it doesn't bother him anymore, why make it more difficult for him or for that matter to anyone in the house?

I turn on the showerhead and start taking off my clothes while I wait for the hot water. I brush my teeth and disentangle my hair, and that's when I get a good look at myself on the mirror.

I grimace.

Beside the big bruises forming in my arm and shoulder, I notice how pale and skinny I look. I know I'm still gaining my weight back but… I wasn't this skinny two days ago… right? Ugh.

Contrary to what Edward believes, I am eating properly… I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am, both him and Esme make sure of it all the time. It's annoying to be honest.

I sigh for the umpteenth time, seeing my ribs. I'm sure it's the stress of the past week, I hope. I was cleared of cancer, this is just the aftermath, my body still has a lot of catching up to do and I did have a stressful week. I do NOT have cancer again. I say firmly to myself, as firmly as I can because… well, I'm me and… as I inspect my body closely, I can't help that tiny nagging feeling that something is wrong… I can't explain it but, something is going on. It's that cloud over my head again.

I shake my head, annoyed with myself. When will my body finally function properly? Damn it! I hate this! Angry tears start falling down my cheeks, and I wipe them away with a huff and go straight into the hot water.

This is not happening again, I can't be sick. If Edward knows… he'll put a stop to Isle Esme and… I really really wanna go. As much as I wanted to become a vampire yesterday, after today's bloodbath I realized I wanted something first. Before I become immortal and turn into a savage for the next couple of years, I want a month of just us, as a family in a private island, enjoying the sun, the water, my future husband and our daughter without any worry in the world before I'm changed.

That's the only thing I want, the last and only human experience I want to live. I want to play and build sand castles with Elizabeth under the sun and love Edward during the night. I want to feel the cool water under my feet, to feel the sun burn my skin. I've been hiding for so many years now I want to run freely on the hot sand and chase my daughter into the water. I want to see Edward's beautiful body sparkle without any care in the world. I want to see him happy, for once enjoying the day with us without feeling like he has the weight of the world over his shoulders. For once I don't want to feel like I'm a burden to him.

I want to build happy human memories with my family, I want to somehow get some of those stolen moments back. If I'm sick, Edward will put a stop to all that and take me directly to Alaska and change me, he won't take any chances at me suddenly dropping dead.

I can't be sick again.

I'm healing, this is just a tiny setback because of the past few days.

I got my period two weeks ago, I know it only lasted about 3 days, but I'm getting there. I know I am. My hair is shinier too and my appetite is back.

I'm healthy.

I can't be sick.

I'm Ok.

I cry quietly to myself, my tears fading with the water running down my face and body. I take big shaky breath, trying to calm myself but no matter how hard I try to convince myself, I can help that feeling that something is different with my body and it scares me.

"Bella?" There's a soft knock on the bathroom door. "My love, are you ok?" I can hear Edward's worried voice.

I nod, not being able to speak, so I clear my throat. "Yes." I say shakily.

In a second I have him in front of me inside the shower stall, his clothes getting wet rapidly. Gently, he grabs my face and makes me look at him.

"What's the matter?" He asks softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"I don't know," I choke "I'm sorry, it's just… it's been a long day." I half lie.

He pulls me towards him, wrapping his arms around me and cradling my head against his chest. I breathe him in, wishing his clothes weren't in the way.

I need to feel him.

"I know… I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. But you are ok, we are all ok." He tries to soothe me. I close my eyes and burry my face in his chest, clinging to him.

His cold lips are on my forehead, but I quickly decide that's not enough. I need him. So I lift up my face, trying to catch his lips on mine, but he's so damn tall I can't reach him. He looks down at me, his eyes locked into mine, I see the hesitation as realization hits him, but I give him no time to think.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself up crashing my lips to his. He hesitates for a second, but thankfully doesn't stop me. Instead, with a low growl he pulls me up, wrapping my legs around him and I find my back against the wall, his full body pressing hard against mine. I can feel him, and it only fuels my desire. With him supporting me, I let go of his neck and pull at his shirt until it's out of the way.

"Bella…" I hear the uncertainty in his tone as he rests his forehead on mine, eyes closed jaw tight. I know he thinks I'm tired and emotionally unstable, but I don't care, I need him and I tell him as much.

"Please," I beg "I need you."

He lets out a low curse and his mouth is on mine again. His cold hard body so close it's nearly impossible for me to unbutton his jeans, but I manage and soon enough we are both naked under the hot spray.

His hold is firm, yet gentle as his hands explore my body with urgency, coming alive with his cold touch. I'm panting, my heart is hammering inside my chest and I can't help the moan that escapes from my lips when his right hand start starts massaging me, I feel his fingers on my entrance and I buck my hips, wanting more, I need him. The feelings he brings out of me too intense to think straight.

"Edward please…" I cry out loudly, but his lips drown my plead as his mouth is on mine once again.

I cannot breathe, the intensity of his kiss is too much and I feel my entire body awakening like a live wire. I'm trembling and I'm keep bucking my hips, mad with lust, I need him so much it's driving me insane.

"Christ… Bella."

With a swift motion, he grabs both of my hands and pin them up over my head, his right hand still supporting me and I've never felt more at his mercy than at this moment. His mouth is now on my neck, sucking at my pulse joint, he could bit me now and I wouldn't care. I'm only aware of the tightening of my lower abdomen and the urgency to feel him inside me. My entire body is trembling with raw need, my chest heaving with my rapid breathing.

"Edward." I whimper, begging, then choke on my breath as he swiftly pushes himself inside me. "Oh god." I cry out, then gasp as he starts moving.

Oh god.

Oh god.

This is so different than last time, this… it's like he is claiming me. His thrusts are harder, faster, desperate. I can barely form a coherent thought. I don't care. This is exactly what I needed.

With every thrust I keep losing control of myself, and I become louder and louder. His mouth lets go of my breast to put a stop to my loud moans and he shuts me up with his lips on mine once more. He lets go of my hands above my head and I immediately grab his hair, pulling him closer.

The tightening intensifies, I'm so close. My insides constrict, almost there.

"You are mine." He gasps against my lips. "Forever."

"I'm yours." I cry out "I love you."

"Say it again."

"I love you."

He kisses me again.

"You are so beautiful." He says against my ear "I thought I was going to lose you today." He confesses and I can hear the pain in his voice.

I shake my head.

"I'm ok, it's you and me. Forever."

"Forever." He agrees, sealing the deal with another bruising kiss. He shifts our position, bringing me higher up the wall, his hips moving in a way that now he is hitting me in that sweet spot I've only read about in books and I'm gone.

Oh god.

After a few more thrusts I explode.

My vision blurs as I scream his name, and he quickly puts a hand over my mouth to muffle my noise. A few seconds later, I open my eyes marveling at the wonderful sight that is his face filled with pleasure as he comes inside me.

My entire body feels like jelly, and I close my eyes and let my head fall on his shoulder as we both listen to my heartbeat. It's hammering fast against my chest, but slowly calming down along with my breathing.

"Are you ok?" He asks quietly, and I nod against his shoulder.

"Can I sleep here?" I mumble and I feel him chuckle.

He pulls out and I tense a little, damn. I'm going to be sore tomorrow. But thankfully he doesn't say anything. Instead, with one hand still holding me he moves us directly under the spray and starts washing my hair.

When we are done with the shower, he wraps a towel around me and sits me on the bathroom counter. He disappears for five seconds and then he is back, wearing a pair of dark blue sweats and a towel around his neck. My pajamas in one hand and a tall glass with a protein shake on the other.

"Drink this." He says, handing me the glass. My guess is that he had made me this along with my dinner since the ice has melted by now. But I ignore that and start drinking while he stands between my legs and starts drying me with a fresh towel before brushing my hair.

"I feel like a five year old."

He shrugs.

"You are two minutes away from falling asleep in your feet. Let me take care of you."

I gasp.

"Lizzie?" I ask mortified, now remembering our daughter in the next room.

"Still asleep," he answers, a glint in his eyes. Amused.

"I'm sorry," I say, flushing scarlet "not sure what came over me."

He pulls my face up with both hands and gives me a long and hard kiss.

"Don't apologize" He whispers "I needed that too." His right hand comes under my towel and he starts caressing my inner thigh with a featherlike touch. "Are you sure you are ok? He asks with concern and I nod. "Do you want to talk about it? You were crying."

"It's nothing, I just… I'm glad it's over." I finally say, in the end I am glad it's finally over. I just don't want to worry him with my other fears. It doesn't matter any way. He promised he'll change me after Isle Esme.

He stares at me, I'm pretty sure he is seeing through me. He opens his mouth to say something but then a yawn escapes me.

He sighs.

"C'mon, let's get you to bed."

...

"Daddy, can I have an ice cream?" Lizzie asks Edward.

"Sure princess, you want one too?" Edward looks to me and I shake my head no.

We are sitting at a restaurant in front of our terminal in Houston, waiting for our flight to Rio de Janeiro having lunch. Well, Lizzie and I are having lunch. Edward went hunting before we left for Calgary.

"Ok, we'll be right back." He gives me a quick peck on the lips before he stands up, following Lizzie back to the counter.

I stare at them and smile to myself, there's nothing more beautiful in the world than the special bond they both have. Edward says his biggest regret in life was leaving me, not only because of everything that it unleashed but also because it meant that he lost the first years of our daughter, something he could never have back. It saddens me too, that he missed out on so much, and I'm sure that's one of the main reasons why he spoils her to death. He just simply cannot just say no to her. Now, for example I'm sure she is asking for a happy meal, not because she is hungry but because she wants the little toy that comes with it.

I laugh to myself as I take another bite of my burger. It's been a long time since I had McDonalds and Edward wasn't very keen on me having fast food instead of real food, but there weren't many options and I felt like having one, as I said it's been years since I had any kind of fast food since the doctors didn't allow me to so in the end, when he saw how much I was craving one he relented.

I'm done by the time Edward and Lizzie come back, and Lizzie sits happily between us having her ice cream with her happy meal on her lap.

I smile down at her.

She looks so happy, she is very excited about our vacation and since we left Sundre she hasn't shut up about Isle Esme. Her and Edward having been there previously, when they traveled the world together, healing and bonding after learning of my supposedly death.

Lizzie opens up her happy meal and brings out its contents, she puts the kid sized burger aside and starts munching on her fries while she opens her new toy.

"Are you going to have that?" I ask, pointing towards her burger. She makes a face and shakes her head sheepishly. I chuckle and take the burger, thinking why not, I'll only be human for a few weeks now, I'm feeling kind of rebellious. Besides, we have a ten hour flight ahead of us and even if we are flying first class, usually plane food is not really good.

I unwrap my burger and take a bite, uhmmm delicious.

I look up and see Edward staring in the distance, he is worried but he is letting me do this on my own. To which I'm thankful for.

I'm not ready.

This morning, before we left the Cullen's house Alice had approached me. She had a large envelope with my test results. An envelope that's burning a hole in my backpack since it sits there, unopened still. I don't want to open that envelope only to confirm what my gut is already telling me, because if I do that, it'll be like going backwards.

I want to move forward, I want for once in my life forget about all the pain and the past. And I know if I open that envelope, the past will come back, everything will change and our vacations won't be the same.

I know Edward will want to cut our vacation short and go directly to Alaska, to which I'll put my foot down and will start a fight, that or he will be sick with worry all the time, watching my every move. Then we won't be able to enjoy our time in Isle Esme, and I really want that.

I want to enjoy being human for once in my life.

We've never had a time to ourselves, just us as a family without a care in the world. As I said before, I want to have that, I want a real vacation with him and Lizzie, I want to swim in the ocean, make castles in the sand with my daughter, eat whatever I want, climb the isle, see the sunset, make love to the man I love.

Because once he changes me, I'll be a newborn. And only god knows when I'll be able to see Lizzy again without putting her in danger, let alone be back into civilization.

So that's why I haven't opened the envelope yet. I don't want it to be real.

He spent the entire drive to Calgary on the phone with Carlisle. They were talking at vampire speed so I couldn't understand what they were saying but I also saw the prescriptions bottles on his case. I know he is prepared for anything, I'm just glad he is letting me do it on my own. I'm not ready, and I don't think I want to know. We'll be back in a month and he'll change me.

I want to be just Bella, not someone he has to look after all the time.

I reach out and grab his hand, getting his attention.

"Hi." I say, searching his eyes.

He gives me a small smile and kisses my hand.

"Stop worrying, we are Ok." I tell him.

He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it. Then takes a deep breath and lets it out.

"We need to talk about it."

"No we don't."

"Bella, I only want to know if I need to look out for something. I don't want you in any pain or feeling sick."

I think about his words, and I understand his worry. But I don't want him to worry, that's exactly why I don't want to open that envelope and that's what I tell him.

"Angel, I'm worried already and not knowing will only make it worse."

"Edward, you can't control everything. If I'm sick I'm sick, and there's nothing you can do about that."

"I might not be able to heal you, but I can make you feel better. I want to be prepared in case you need anything. Also, what if... what if it's bad."

"I just need you and Lizzie. That's all I need for now."

"Why are you being so stubborn about this?"

"Edward… I only have a month left being human. For the past four years I've been living under this constant grey cloud, filled with anxiety and dread. I don't want to relieve that, I want to just be a normal human being with you. I want us to enjoy this," I motion between us "before you change me and I spend the next couple of years fighting new battles. Can you give me that?"

"First of all, you won't be fighting any battles alone, I'll be with you every step of the way. Second of all, there are some situations even the venom cannot cure, if it's too bad we need to know Bella. We need to know if we need to accelerate things, or if I need to be on the look out for anything. I too want to enjoy our vacations together, but not at the expense of your wellbeing. We have a lifetime for that."

I knew he wouldn't get it.

But how do I explain this to him without giving him the wrong idea?

"Edward, I don't want you to change me yet" I say carefully "I want this, I need it. I'm just asking you for one month of normalcy, just the three of us. Can you give me that? Just give me one month and then you can do whatever you want."

"Bella, if I could I would give you the entire world. But please, try to see thing from my perspective. Ok, I agree that you dropping dead within a month is unlikely, however, you could get severe symptoms and I need to know what we would be dealing with." He reaches out and tenderly brushes my hair away from my face. "I want to give you the vacation of your dreams but how can I do that if you are feeling nauseous, if you have no energy or are just feeling ill? What if you get an infection and we don't notice until it's too late and I have to rush you to the hospital? We will be in a very remote place, I need to be prepared for anything."

I swallow the lump in my throat and look away, trying to hide my tears but he grabs my chin and makes me look at him again.

"You might not even have cancer back but still get sick from something else, how do you want us to treat you if we don't know what we are dealing with?"

"Edward, I don't want to know. You'll change me in four weeks, if something is wrong I can hold on for four weeks."

He looks away again, a hard look on his face. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid, him being all worried and overwhelmed. Why can't he see?

I grab his face and make him look at me.

"Edward, I promise you, I feel Ok. I'm Ok, we are Ok. If I start feeling unwell, I promised you I will let you know."

"You never do, you have a tendency to hide these things from me."

"I promise you, I won't anymore."

"Just a couple days ago you had promised to not put yourself in danger either. And still you planned on leaving camp and go into the battle."

"I was worried about all of you, I wanted to help, that's different."

"Is it? Really? You wanted to risk your live for us, how do I know you won't lie to me about this too for my sake?"

I bit my lip, knowing he is right. Just last night I kept denying things even to myself, same way I'm trying to do know.

Denial.

"If you won't do it for me, then do it for her." He briefly looks at Lizzie, who is very busy playing with her new toys and drawing on the kids' paper tablecloth.

Damn, he used the Lizzie card.

…

…

"Fine," I finally agree, he sighs in relief but I'm quick to add "however you need to promise me something in return."

"Anything."

"Whatever the results, this won't change anything, we are still going to Isle Esme. We are still getting four weeks together in the sun and you won't be worrying all over the place. You'll be present with us, not thinking ahead and ruining our vacation."

He gives me a quick kiss.

"I promise."

I breathe in a long pull of air and exhale.

"Ok, I'll open the damn envelope once we are on the air and you can't go back on your promise."

He chuckles and gives me another kiss and I laugh with him in spite the knot in my stomach.

"I love you," he breathes "I promise, we'll be Ok."

I can only nod, suddenly overwhelmed with a thousand different emotions.

Just then, we hear our flight being announced. So we clean the table and Edward picks up our things. Since Edward bought first class for us, we are in the first group to board.

Lizzie and I are sitting together on one side of the aisle, Edward is by himself on the other side but since he bought the seat next to him as well we have the entire row for ourselves and before I'm ready, we are on the air.

Edward is patient, it's a very long flight though so he is giving me as much time as I need. Lizzie is on the window side watching a movie but I have a feeling she'll fall asleep soon, here eyelids are getting heavy so I figure I'll do it once she is asleep.

I look to my right across the aisle and watch Edward pretending to sleep. The window on his side is shut and he is wearing a hoodie and has a blanket on top to avoid any sunlight reflection from the other passengers' windows. We will be arriving to Rio de Janeiro late at night, so he should be good then. He is facing my way, so I am able to see his beautiful face. He looks so peaceful I wonder what he is thinking about. He once told me that if he was able to dream he would dream about me and I wonder if daydreaming counted as dreaming for vampires. Who knows, but what I know is that I'm just stalling with stupid questions to myself.

I look to my left and see that Lizzie has fallen asleep, I reach out and take off her headphones so she can be more comfortable and make sure she is warm enough by pulling up her blanket to her chest.

I hear some voices at the front and notice that the stewardess is getting ready to pass with the food cart. I look at my watch and see that we have been on air for three hours now. Suddenly I'm feeling thirsty and decide to wait and ask for something to drink and then I'll do it.

Thirty minutes later I'm done with my drink and pasta and still can't move.

For fucks sake, don't be a coward I tell to myself. I stop tapping my feet to the floor and pull up my legs, hugging my knees.

What I'm afraid of? Edward already promised this won't change anything, he promised we will stay and nothing will ruin our vacations.

But, what if it's very, very bad? My last check up was almost 5 month ago and I was clean. If I'm feeling this sick this fast… then it must be bad. That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of becoming weak in front of Lizzie's eyes again, in front of Edward.

Suddenly I'm feeling very nauseous.

Oh crap.

Shouldn't have had that pasta, I knew it tasted off.

I abruptly stand up and walk briskly to the lavatory a few rows in front of us. I barely have enough time to lock the door behind me before I'm empting my stomach on the toilet. I heave and heave until if feels like I have gotten rid of everything I have eaten the past couple of days. I feel the sweat at the back of my neck and my stomach clenches in pain with every new round. It takes several minutes until I feel like nothing else is coming out. I flush the toilet and pull myself up. I rinse my mouth with water and then look at myself in the mirror, hating my reflection. I definitely look paler.

I take some deep breaths and when I think I have composed myself I turn around and open the door. Not surprised at all to see Edward there, waiting for me. Without saying anything, he hands me my backpack and takes a step back reclining on the door to the lavatory behind him. Looking all casual but his intense eyes tell a different story.

"Thank you." I say lowering my gaze and taking the bag from him. I close the door again shutting him out.

I quickly take my toiletry bag out and brush my teeth, comb my hair into a high ponytail and take off my shirt. I pass a wet paper towel over my chest and back, wiping away the perspiration and change into a fresh shirt. Suddenly I feel a thousand times better. I turn around to put my stuff away and that's when I see the thick white large envelope.

After a moment I take it out and put it in the counter, then put my stuff away, after zipping up my backpack I put it on the floor next to me and sit on the closed toilet with my elbows on my knees, staring the fancy paper between my hands.

"Just get it over with." I mutter to myself.

I open the envelope and pull out it contents.

…

…

And there it is.

My white blood cell count is through the roof.

I can't stop the angry tears that fall from my cheeks. I wipe them forcibly with the back of my hands and continue reading. The notes from the CT scan reveal that I have an enlarged liver and spleen and the doctor is requesting a bone marrow test to determine the level of leukemia cells so we can come up with a treatment plan asap.

I think back to those lonely and cold days in the cancer ward, getting my chemo treatment and immediately decide not to go through that again. No, I won't go through that again.

Never again.

I hear a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." I say softly as I stand up. Wiping at my tears with the back of my hand.

He opens the door and closes it behind him, with out a word I hand him the papers and pull myself back as far as the tiny space will allow me, which is not much I can still feel him breathe in front of me.

"Jesus, angel." He says with a broken and devastated voice.

I fix my eyes on him.

"You promised."

"I did," he opens his arms to me and I immediately wrap my arms around his waist "How do you feel?"

"Angry."

He pulls back and places both hands on each side of my face, making me look at him.

"That's not what I mean."

I take a deep breath to calm myself. Reminding myself Edward is not at fault here, he is just trying to help.

"I feel Ok now. I know it might sound strange but emptying my stomach made me feel better."

He stares at me with that penetrating gaze of him, and analyzes my entire face.

"You looked pale when you first opened the door," he starts prodding around my neck "your lymph nodes are swollen, can't believe I didn't notice before."

I grab both his hands and stop his physical examination.

"Edward, you promised. Now you know, you know what to expect, can we please not talk about it, can we please pretend everything is Ok? For Lizzie's sake?" Yeah, I'm not afraid of using that card either "I don't want her to know."

"If you don't want her to know we won't tell her." He gives me a tiny peck on my lips "I'm sorry angel worrying about you is like second nature to me. I did promise you the vacation of your dreams, but for that to happen I also need you to be at your best. Allow me to take care of you, let me treat your pain, if anything hurts or you are feeling unwell please let me know, for Lizzie's sake too." He arches an eyebrow.

"I'll take any pills you give me and eat every vegetable you bring me as long as we don't talk about it." I bring up my arms and wrap them around his neck pulling myself up "Let's keep it between us, and in a month, when we are back you can heal me for good." I give him a kiss and a small reassuring smile. "You can save me one last time then."

He gives me a small smile back and kisses me back.

"I don't mind saving you Bella," he whispers against my lips "I would gladly do it for the rest of my existence. That's the small price I paid for choosing you, and I'd still chose you every time for the rest of eternity."

"I feel like a burden sometimes." I confess.

"But you are not." He looks at me with such intensity I can't look away "When I chose you… I basically sentenced you. I put your life in jeopardy, and every mistake I make puts you and Lizzie in danger. Saving you every time I mess up is my responsibility."

"Edward, you can't blame yourself for everything that happens to me. And certainly you can't save me every time. You are only human." He raises and eyebrow and I laugh "You know what I mean."

"Just let me take care of you this time around. I wasn't there the first time, let me make up for it."

Even if I don't like it, a part of me knows he needs this too to move on. I know not having been there for me before has been eating at him for years. The guilt has tortured him and made him do things he shouldn't have.

Damn it.

I nod, standing on my toes to kiss him once more. Twice more.

"Whatever you want," I breathe "just give me four weeks of you," another kiss "Lizzie and I on that beautiful island you both talk so much about." I kiss him again. I just can't stop kissing him now.

He nods, pulling me impossibly closer to him and I find myself climbing up his torso and wrapping my legs around him.

What started as small and needy kisses suddenly turn into long, hard and passionate ones. And again, I feel that urge for him. My body is waking up and I need him, I can't explain it but I need to have him.

"Edward," I breathe against his soft lips "what do you think about joining the mile high club?"

Funny how ironic it is… knowing that I'm dying makes me want to live up a little more. To be honest, I wasn't really being serious, I couldn't imagine Edward agreeing to something like this, no matter how much I begged, considering how we always end up breaking something. So I was equally surprised as exhilarated when he pulled me up against the wall and pinned me there.

"You'll have to be quiet though," He chuckles huskily against my ear "or they'll hear us."

I nod fervently, quickly pulling off his hoodie and shirt and latching my mouth to his before he changed his mind.

He helps me out of my shirt, the jeans are a bit trickier since we are in a very tight space, but when I tell him I have a pair of sweat pants in my backpack I just hear the ripping of the fabric and then I'm completely naked in front of him.

He pulls me up again and I circle his waist with my legs, my feet on the sink behind him for support. He breaks our kiss, letting me catch my breath and starts kissing my neck, slowly going down to my chest.

It's so surreal.

My heart is hammering wildly against my chest, this is new, exciting, I can't help the feeling of euphoria as his hands move around my body. His long lithe fingers stroking and circling around my entrance. I start whimpering and he quickly moves his mouth to mine muffling my sounds.

But I need more, I'm needy, I need more of him.

My hands go down and I unbutton his jeans setting him free. My hands start stroking his large member, and his breath catches, I can feel his chest pressing against mine with his ragged breathing as I keep using my hands.

"That feels amazing love." He moans against my mouth, "but I need you."

"Yes, please." I beg between kisses and guide him into my entrance.

With one swift motion he fills me completely, his left hand goes to my mouth to stop my cries for a second, then replaces it with his mouth as he starts moving.

It's fast, it's hard, it's glorious.

I've never felt pleasure like this.

My body is on fire, it's like I can feel him everywhere.

I throw my head back and bit my lip to stop myself from screaming, his mouth goes immediately to my breasts and dear god it's too much. I open my eyes and see myself in the mirror on the sink, my cheeks flushed, perspiration running along my hairline. I see his strong back, his muscles flexing as he moves inside me.

"You are so beautiful." He says, his eyes on me now as he catches me looking at myself in the mirror.

I shake my head.

"We are beautiful." I correct him.

And it's true, we are not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. Together we are beautiful, together we are perfect.

It's like a lighting bolt moment, when it finally hits me that all my insecurities are ridiculous. Because Edward loves me as much as I love him. To me he is the most beautiful man to walk on earth, so no matter what I'm the most beautiful thing in his world to him.

He has seen me at my worst, either in person or through someone else's memories, he has seen the ugliest parts of me, even now when I'm not at my prime he is still here. Loving me and taking care of me. Making sure I'm happy.

"I love you..." I whimper "so much."

"I love you more."

I shake my head ready to protest but he is kissing me again and the tightening in my lower abdomen intensifies. I'm close. So close.

And soon enough I'm pressing my lips against his neck, muffling my cries. A few second later he is doing the same.

I'm a panting mess, but he still supports me while I collect myself. He is slowly peppering my face with kisses and I enjoy the feeling of his cool lips against my heated skin.

"What a way to start our vacations." I say and he laughs.

"To be honest, when I followed you here never in my wildest dreams occurred to me this would happen. You are full of surprises Miss Swan."

"Yeah, not sure what came over me. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, you can demand sex from me anytime you want. I'm your faithful servant."

I laugh out loud.

"Edward!"

"It's true." He helps me down. "Now, let's get out of here before we attract anymore attention."

"Anymore?!" I ask suddenly mortified and he chuckles. I can feel the heat coming up my face.

"Just a woman who wanted to use the lavatory, don't worry. She won't make a big deal about it, but you'll find her curious eyes when we walk back to our seats."

He laughs again at my mortified face.

We quickly clean up ourselves and put our clothes back on. I shove my ripped jeans into my backpack and pull out my favorite sweatpants. Now thinking about sleeping the reminder of the flight.

I need a human moment so Edward walks out first. After I'm done combing my hair and relieving myself I follow after him. True to his word I feel some eyes on me, when I look up I see her smirk of young brunet woman before she goes back to her magazine. I shake my head to get rid of the heat in my face.

When I reach our row, I see that Lizzie is still asleep so instead of sitting next to her I turn to my right and sit on Edward's lap. These first class seats are big enough for the both of us so I take advantage of them. Edward pulls me closer to him, his eyes on the phone in his hands, and wraps us both with his blanket, in a safe cocoon. I close my eyes and recline my head on his chest inhaling his sweet scent. Feeling content and like I could sleep for days.

"Who are you texting?" I ask sleepily.

"Carlisle."

"Any news on Rose?"

He shakes his head.

"She is still unconscious," he frowns "but now that Lizzie is out of the way, Alice has her sight back and she has seen her waking up."

"Really? That's good!"

"Yes, it's all fuzzy there are still a lot if things up in the air. Carlisle thinks Lizzie's tears worked as a strong sedative while healing her body too. The attack on Rose was very brutal, it should have taken several days if not weeks for her to be back to normal. Alice says she'll wake up in a couple of days though."

"She'll be Ok then?" I ask, fighting a yawn. Jesus I feel exhausted all of a sudden.

"Yes," he pockets his phone "She'll probably have a few scars but other than that she'll be fine."

He pulls the lever on the side of his seat and the recliner's back comes down almost to a horizontal position. He turns to his side and I press my face against his chest, inhaling his scent once more as he cuddles me.

This is my happy place.

"What about her face?" I ask looking up, remembering the horrible gash across her beautiful face.

"Emmett kept using Lizzie's tears," he whispers so no one can hear us "Carlisle said it's almost completely invisible even to vampires eyes but it's still there" he says sadly "if you know what you are looking at."

I shake my head, my heart aching for her. She is alive, that's what matters and scar or not scar I'm sure she is still the most beautiful woman to walk on earth, but knowing her…

"I can't believe she did that. Why would she risk her life for me? She hates me. I'm pretty sure she'll hate me even more now."

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"She doesn't hate you Bella, she envies you."

I gasp.

"No she doesn't."

How could Rosalie, the most beautiful creature to ever exist envy me, a boring and awkward, sickly, plain human.

"Bella, you have everything she has ever wanted." He says softly, brushing my hair away from my face and I can only I frown. Thinking about that time on the Cullen's porch a few weeks ago when Rosalie told me her story.

"I don't understand."

"You are human, you have a daughter, you have a family of your own, a future. I'm pretty sure if Rose had a chance, she would change her immortality, even Emmett, to become human again."

I look down at my hands, I see my own scars, the half moon shaped one that James inflicted and the ones on my wrists, the ones I inflicted myself, trying to see things from her perspective in a different light.

Once upon a time, she had the life she wanted, she had the life of her dreams. She was truly happy, excited about her future and got robbed, so brutally and cruelly by the person who was supposed to take care of her, the person who was supposed to love her above anything else. And now, she has to live for the rest of her existence with that pain and loss.

Although obviously not the same by any margin, I can understand that kind of pain. I too had everything I wanted and lost it when Edward left me. If my pain changed me and left me bitter for years, I can only imagine how bad it must have been for Rosalie.

"I still don't understand why she would risk her life for me." I whisper.

"She did it for Lizzie. She truly loves her and she knows the pain it would cause her to lose her mother again. She didn't want her to lose her family too."

"Oh."

"I know… I owe my life to her now. We have had our differences and we have never really liked each other… but I'll eternally be grateful to her for what she did." He says, tightening his hold on me "if it weren't for her, you wouldn't be here right now." He kisses the top of my head "If you had died that brutally I'd have never been able to forgive myself. I would have never recovered. Elizabeth would have lost both her parents that day."

I shudder, thinking about it. Relieving that horrid memory, their eyes all coming at me.

"But she'll be Ok, right?" I ask in a small voice.

"We believe so. We'll know more about her mental state once she wakes up. Alice can't see much, with the Volturi getting close a lot of things are still up in the air and she is watching out for everyone."

"Are they getting close?" I whisper, my eyes getting heavier against my will but I refuse to close them, I need answers.

"They are in Seattle now, it'll be a couple more day before they get to Calgary."

"Will they come looking for us?"

"Alice has a plan, they'll go out and meet them and take them to the clearing where the battle happened instead of waiting for them to come to the house or near our lands. With the rain your scent is gone but there's still evidence of the battle. Yours and Lizzie's scent is all over the house though, we want to avoid them running into it and asking questions."

"Will they come looking for you?"

"I really don't think so, neither Aro, Caius or Marcus are coming. They won't risk themselves; they hardly ever leave their palace. It's just the twins with the first guard and they don't know me, they won't care about me." He shrugs and I fight a yawn, feeling extremely tired.

"Sleep, Angel. I'll wake you up when we get there." He whispers tightening his hold on me, his nose on my hair inhaling my scent.

"Mhmm." I agree, already halfway asleep "I love you."

I feel his lips on my forehead.

"I love you most."

Phew!

Alright guys, lets hear it, what do you think?

I'm not a doctor so I did my basic research and used the little knowledge I have in medicine thanks to Grey's Anatomy and took some creative licences here and there. So I apologize if something is not accurate.

Anyways, what are your theories? What do you guys think is happening next? What will happen to Rose? What about the Volturi?

Until next time!

T