Posted September 30, 2021
A/N: This story was inspired by a Chuck Fanfiction FB post that pointed out Captain Awesome has a stalker! In a 2010 Sugarland video for the song "Stuck Like Glue," the stalkee was played by the same actor who played Devon Woodcomb, Ryan McPartlin.
This story takes place after "Chuck vs Agent X," 4.22. Ellie knows Chuck is spying again. Chuck and Sarah are engaged, but not married yet. Since this is also after "Chuck vs the Wedding Planner," 4.21, they have already recently gotten into trouble for faking a flash and using CIA resources for personal matters.
Disclaimer: Nobody else owns anything here, so why would I?
Disclaimer 2: davida6 was beta, which was great, but he admits he doesn't catch everything, so if you PM issues to me, I'll fix them. There's no expiration date.
May 3, 2011
Casa Charah
Echo Park, Los Angeles, CA
Ellie knocked on the door to Chuck and Sarah's apartment. It felt a little odd knocking on the door to the place that for years was her home. The current residents had insisted she was welcome to let herself in anytime. Ellie didn't want to risk it, though. There were certain things that a big sister and future maid of honor did not want to see.
The door opened, revealing Sarah. "Hi, Ellie!" She was in a good mood. Fortunately, she was dressed, so that wasn't the reason. She was barefoot, in one of Chuck's nerdy T-shirts and extremely short shorts. Sarah gave her a hug. Normally Ellie was the one to initiate a hug in greeting, but Sarah was learning there was no point in avoiding the inevitable. That was a valuable lesson for a future Bartowski.
"Is it ok if we come in?" Ellie peered in the room and saw Chuck turning off the TV and getting up to greet his sister and her husband. Chuck was also dressed for bed, in a solid-colored T-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. It seemed like she didn't interrupt anything, so it was a good thing she and Devon didn't come over an hour later, when she probably would have interrupted something.
"Of course, you can come in." Sarah stepped back to make way. "Hi, Devon. What brings you two here?"
"I came for help from a spy," Ellie said
Sarah's face became serious. "You know, just because you know Chuck is spying again, doesn't mean you can use the Intersect—"
"I don't need him. Chuck always says you can do anything. I need the help of your special skills. Brother, you can find something else to do. Play a video game on your computer or something."
Chuck said, "I think I'll stay here to find out what is so important that you need a real spy, not some guy with a computer in his head."
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Whatever you want to do. I don't need a computer dad built for this." Credit where credit was due.
Devon had been quiet, dutifully following his wife's lead, but he spoke up, "This is no big deal. There's nothing to worry about. We shouldn't have bothered you."
"See," Ellie said. "This is why I need someone who understands. Devon doesn't even know what the problem is. Chuck will probably side with my idiot husband, which is another reason I only need to talk to you, Sarah."
They all sat around the chairs and sofa in the living room. With everyone seated, Sarah asked, "What's the problem?"
Ellie leveled her finger at Devon and gave him a serious stare, "You. Quiet."
The man wasn't quiet. "We can't tell them. I don't even know how you know anything."
Still pointing her finger, Ellie's look intensified. "That's not how to be quiet. HIPAA doesn't prevent us from reporting a crime. That strange woman might not have committed a crime yet, but that's a technicality. She's loony and that makes her dangerous. In my opinion, it's gone too far already. That's why I'm talking to a spy. I'm preventing a crime from happening. Spies do that."
Sarah seemed to be on board. "That's not what spies do, but I want to help you in any way I can. Ellie, tell me about this woman."
Ellie took a deep breath before starting. "Near the end of my shift, I was looking at my appointments for tomorrow. In the afternoon, I'm supposed to do a brain scan because something might be wrong with this woman. She's also going to see psychiatry the same day. When I was making sure the MRI machine was booked, the nurse said, 'Oh, her,' so I asked what she was talking about. She told me the same woman has been at the hospital half a dozen times this week, complaining about heart palpitations. She always asks to see the same doctor." Ellie thumbed in Devon's direction. "Nothing is wrong with her. She just wants to see Dr. Clueless here."
Devon chimed in, "That's not how it is—"
"Does she talk off her shirt before or after you ask to listen to her heart?"
"Who said—"
"I was guessing, and I'm right. For a routine check, you would listen over her shirt, but she doesn't wait to find out." Turning back to Sarah, Ellie said, "I checked the records. She came in after a panic attack when her boyfriend dumped her, probably because she's nuts. Her being nuts is not a medical opinion because I haven't examined her, yet. It's the obvious conclusion from everything I've heard and read."
Devon might think this is no big deal, but at least Ellie had Sarah's full attention. The spy asked, "What happened?"
Ellie skipped over what she had seen in the records. "Devon examined her in the ER. She's been coming back to the hospital every day since. That's why she was referred to neurology and psychiatry. I'm surprised we don't have the stalker on a psych hold."
"You're overreacting," Devon said in his smooth voice, dismissing Ellie's concern.
Sarah paid him no mind and said, "I understand, Ellie. I'll take care of it."
"See," Ellie gloated to Devon. "The professional spy agrees."
Chuck jumped in, "Hold on a second."
This is what Ellie had been worried about. "Chuck, Sarah agrees with me. If you're going to marry this woman, you need to learn to trust her judgement."
Sarah didn't hold in an abrupt laugh. Chuck said to Sarah, "We're not talking about protecting you or staying in the car, which I don't have to do anymore because of the upgraded computer in my head." He tapped his head and turned to Ellie, "I'm saying let's take a breath and wait a second. Consider who you just asked to help eliminate a problem. You know a few years ago, you doubted me when I mentioned careers outside the Buy More. I'm not piloting the Millennium Falcon or in the Olympics as a diver or curler, but I am a secret agent, and I'm marrying another one who happens to also be a ninja assassin—the best. Maybe we should take a step back and do something more reasonable than asking an assassin to eliminate a problem."
Sarah placed a reassuring hand on Chuck's thigh. "Don't worry, Ellie. I only kill people under orders or to protect Chuck. Protecting Chuck is still my job, so that's really the same thing. I won't do anything that Chuck wouldn't approve of. Consider your concern dispatched to two spies. One has seen the man she loves with Hannah, Jill, and a salami smuggler."
Ellie wasn't following. "Salami smuggler?"
"You don't know about her. It didn't get far, but in a way, she was the biggest threat of the three."
"Three?"
"She was first, between when I slept here the day you were poisoned and Thanksgiving."
Ellie was even more confused. Sarah read the bewildered look on her face. "Her deli shop in the plaza was shut down by the health department, and she had to move."
Ellie met Hannah over a year ago, when Chuck and Sarah were going through a rough patch. She never found out what happened to her. Jill thankfully disappeared. Whoever this other person was, Sarah got her business shut down.
Sarah continued, "She went into the Buy More with a broken phone. That's the same way I met Chuck before I asked him our first date. I was trying to find out if Chuck knew anything about the Intersect. The deli girl also used a phone. She got Chuck to break up with me to date her."
Ellie looked at her brother for an explanation. How could he have done that to Sarah, the woman he is going to marry, just because some random woman walked in with a broken phone? He looked down, ashamed.
His future bride took his hand, possessively, and pulled it to her lap. Sarah said, "She's not important. None of them are. The point is I know the importance of defending what and who is yours, like Chuck is mine and Devon is yours. This other 'spy' here, the one I'm marrying in a couple weeks, will keep me from going too far."
That's why she needed a spy. They don't hold back, taking care of potential problems before they become big problems. Ellie said, "Thank you, Sarah. I'm trusting you to make this go away, however you feel is best." Ellie looked at Chuck. "You too, I guess."
Ellie stood up and pulled her husband with her. "Come on, Honey. We should get out of here, so these two can do stuff in this room that I don't want to think about."
Sarah walked them to the door. "That's a good idea, Ellie. Chuck and I were about to—"
"I said I don't want to think about it. Good night, Sarah. Good night, Chuck." Ellie pushed Devon out into the courtyard as he gave his own good nights.
A/N: Sarah's going to take care of it, and Chuck is going to make sure she doesn't go too far. How's that going to work?
Song: "Stuck Like Glue" by Sugarland. (Of course.) This story only has one song. It can be played on repeat for the entire story. The chapter titles are lyrics from the song.