Okay here we go.
To the guest reviewer who asked me if they could do a version of this where they are reacting to alternate versions of Ruby, yeah sure go ahead. I don't own it. And it's a free country. Just make sure to remember to write that you don't own it.
And Yes I am planning on doing more reacting to other fanfictions, but I have to get persission from authors, and a lot of the ones you guys ask me to do are long as hell. So I won't get to them right away. Its a process I do a little bit at a time.
Anyways, this chapter is short, sorry to disappoint.
Anyways here we go.
"You know, I know I wanted something happier, but that was just ridiculous." Weiss said as she couldn't believe they just a knight continue to fight even when he lost all his limbs.
"Tell me about it, I have never seen a guy that determined to win." Ruby said as she admired his bravery, but frowned at his stupidity.
"I am still planning on killing Qrow next time I see him." Glynda said as they heard a scream.
"SHIT!" Qrow yelled as he face planted on the ground.
"Ow..where the hell am I? Where is that waitress? And...Glynda?" Qrow asked as he saw her gripping her riding crop tight.
"Perrrrrffffeeeecccccttt." She hissed out.
BANG! SMASH! KICK! PUNCH! KNEE WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE! RIDING CROP TO THE ASS!
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" Qrow yelled.
"For being as stupid as you were in the last episode." She said as he looked confused.
"Last episode? What the hell do you mean?" He asked as Ruby and Yang filled him in on the details.
"Well, if that's true, then another episode is starting up." He said as he got out his flask.
Jaune and Ren were dressed in weird suits. Jaune was in a mostly white suit, with red panties, and rose red boots with the symbol of a blunt on his chest. Wearing a red mask and some weird helmet. And Ren was wearing some suit of backwards cap with bat ears, and a black cape with the symbol of a pot leaf on it.
"What the hell am I wearing?!" Ren asked as he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"What the hell is Jaune wearing?!" Pyrrha asked as even she didn't like the outfit.
"Am I still drunk?" Qrow said as he was losing his buzz.
"No, you're fine." Glynda said.
"Uhm...Snoochy boochies?" Jaune said as he wasn't sure what to do.
Ren didn't say a word, but he smiled a bit at that joke.
BOOOOOMMM!
The wall shattered into tiny bits as they saw a giant fist come through the wall. Rocks crumbled down as they saw a woman in a blue suit and cape come through the wall.
HEY KIDS! IT'S YANG XIAO LONG!
(APPLAUSE!)
"What the fuck?!" Jaune yelled as he was hugging Ren.
"I AGREE! WHAT THE FUCK AM I WEARING?!" Yang yelled out as Ruby held out a swear jar.
"Where did you get that?" Qrow asked as he didn't understand how she pulled it out of nowhere.
"Dad always asked me to keep in on me, Yang swearing helped me buy parts for Crescent rose, so I always carry it." She said.
"Still though, what the hell is going on?" Blak asked.
"He he he he ha ha ha!" Yang laughed evily.
"Thought I would never find your precious Blunt cave, did you Hemp Knight?" Yang asked as she walked into the room.
"But now, you and your sidekick are finally in the grasp..." She said.
"The yellow dragon?" Yang suggested.
"I'm still adjusting to the fact Yang is a supervillian..." Ruby said.
"Fire storm?" Blake suggested.
"Firecracker?" Qrow.
"Flames of Wrath?" Goodwitch suggested.
"OF COCK KNOCKER!" She finished as she giggled.
"...My name is Cock Knocker?" Yang asked more embarassed than mad.
"Pfft...Cock knocker..." Qrow had to keep his laughter in.
"What the heck kind of name is cock knocker?" Weiss asked.
"Is she some sort of prostitute?" Ozpin muttered under his breath.
"Why do they call you cock knocker?" Jaune asked wondering who would name their kid that.
"Actually there is a funny story about that, you're going to love this true story." Yang said as she walked towards Jaune.
And punched him right in the muddafucking dick.
"Wooooooooooooaaaaahhhh." Jaune cried out in pain.
"Ooooooohhhhh." Ozpin said as even he felt that one.
"Shit, I think I just felt my balls go into my throat." Qrow said as he put a dollar in the swear jar.
"I don't like this..." Ren said as he never felt so much pain at seeing someone else get hit in the balls.
"Dang, I don't even have balls, and I feel bad." Yang said as she couldn't believe Cock knocker did that.
"Avenge me...Hemp Knight!" Jaune said as he fell to the ground clutching his balls in pain.
Cock knocker responded by pulling out an Atlesian Dildo laser sword. Igniting it so that a long red stream of pure energy came out.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Yang yelled at seeing her weapon.
"A laser...phallus?" Goodwitch said with a twichy eye.
"I think they call that a Killdo." Qrow said as he was now laughing his ass off.
"I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody!" Flynt coal the director said.
He was only in this fic because the author needed to find a Chris Rock stand in, and Flynt is the only black character he could think of.
"Woah, thats kind of racist." Blake said as she read the caption.
"Who the hell is George Lucas?" Yang asked.
"Who the heck is Chris Rock?" Ruby asked.
"Was the guy who wrote this drunk when he wrote this?" Weiss asked as the author appeared.
"As a matter of fact I was." He said as he disappeared again.
"Any last words before I bust your balls...Bluntman?" Yang asked as Ren looked around.
He didn't have a weapon, and worst off, he didn't have any weed left. And that was when his eyes spotted it.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a bong saber, it said it was experimental. But at this point he needed a weapon to fend off Cock Knocker, because nobody wanted to have a broken pair of balls.
Reaching his hand out, he used the power of telekinesis to call it to his hand.
"WOAH!" Flynt said as he couldn't believe that just happened.
"Wow..." Cock Knocker said gripping her kildo even tighter.
"Wait a minute, this is a movie?" Yang asked as it went back to the director.
"Who the hell would want to make a movie like this?" Qrow asked as he put another dollar into Ruby's swear jar.
"Probably a bunch of stoners came up with it while they were drunk." Weiss suggested, not knowing how right she was.
Ren activated his bong saber, wiggling his eyebrows at Cock Knocker as he lept into battle.
He slashed at her head, she blocked with an overhand parry. After that, it became a dance of swords. When she contracted, he expanded, when she went down on him, he took the high road. When she attempted a dick punch, he attempted a cooter shot. It was an intense, yet sad battle.
The only problem was, Ren was used to fighting with his hetero life partner Jaune. It was very rare that the two didn't fight together.
"Hetero life partner?" Ruby asked.
"Yeah, its like you're married, but not in the lovey dovey way, Thats what I call your dad." Qrow said as they referred to each other as Hetero life partners.
"SHe's going for a high kick Muddafucker!" Flynt yelled as Yang went for a high kick.
And succeeded in kicking Ren in the face, and sent him into the wall.
"Damn these white boys can't fight." Flynt said as he facepalmed.
"Tell me about it boss!" Cardin winchester, the Audio technician said.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Flynt yelled at his subordinate.
"Damn, wonder why Flynt is so pissed off?" Yang asked.
"Who knows, maybe he just really hates his job?" Ruby suggested.
"He's working on a movie about a woman named Cock Knocker...I would be pissed off too." Goodwitch said as Ruby collected a dollar from both her and Yang.
"Don't fuck with the raging dragon Ren.." Yang said with a bit of a sadistic smile.
The wall started to spin, as Jaune was revealed, he had recovered from his balls being busted. And was now ready to fight. And in his hand, was a double ended bong saber.
Although to be honest, they both kind of looked like two dildos glued together.
"What the heck is with the dildo/bong imagery?" Yang asked as she wasn't feeling comfortable.
"Why do those things look like ding dings?" Ruby asked as everyone face palmed.
"Ruby, please don't talk, your innocence is too cute." Weiss said.
"Yo bitch tits!" Jaune said as he activated his bong saber.
He flipped over and did some fancy manuevers.
"Hey, that wasn't in the script!" Yang said as she was tired of people making shit up on the spot.
"Man, nobody is going to see this fucking movie anyway! Just go with it!" Flynt yelled as he hated his job right now.
All he wanted to do was direct the newest Captain Atlas Movie, but what did he get? He gets a damn stoner movie, that was probably so obscure that only the deepest trolls of the internet would go to see this piece of shit.
And why did they give him this job? Because...He's a black man.
Oh sure, you can have a black man be the guy who sacrifices himself in horror movies, but god forbid you let one direct a big ol production.
Course it also might have been because he sent a bag of dog shit to the Schnee movie production, CEO...although it accidentally ended up in his daughters room...So Flynt did kind of fuck up.
"Wow, that sounds like a shitty position for Flynt." Yang asked as Weiss remembered something.
"WAIT A MINUTE! SOMEONE DID SEND ME A BAG OF DOG SHIT THAT WAS ADDRESSED TO MY FATHER!" She yelled as it had ended up in her room when she was eight.
That was one of the worst moments of her childhood. Mostly because it had a small dust bomb in it, so it splattered everywhere.
Meanwhile, Ruby stole a dollar out of Weiss's wallet to put in her swear jar. She swore she must have made a fortune by now.
Jaune and Yang continued to fuck shit up. They slashed and bashed. They kicked and screamed. They gave each other titty twisters. They were really going all out. It even got to a point where they were pulling each other's hair.
"FLYNT! I Think I have had enough!" Yang said as she was getting tired.
Jaune was finally gaining the upper hand.
"FLYNT! Can I get a cut here!" She yelled as Jaune swung his bong saber down.
And cut off Cock Knocker's giant fist.
"AAGGGGHHH!" She yelled as the kildo of death fell with the legend of fisting porn to the ground.
As soon as she gave out a squeak of pain, and then looked to the camera in a deadpan look.
"Not again." She said.
"Wait! What do you mean not again!" She said as she didn't like this.
"I guess you've been...disarmed." Qrow said as even Yang felt bad at that pun.
"Wow, that really sucked." Ruby said not believing anyone could be worse at puns than Yang.
"LETS JUST MOVE ON TO THE NEXT EPISODE!" Goodwitch said as the screen changed.
"You know, I know we wanted to see something other than depressing stuff, but seems like this is just getting weird."