Here I go again, this is a fic with Jauneforever's palate cleanser, and then to my star wars chapter. And then I plan on writing a reaction to 'Restart' by Masseffect-TxS. Since I think I was supposed to do that a few chapters ago.
"Seriously? You can order as much food and juice as you want, but I can't get a bit of booze?!" Qrow said as he was now completely sober.
"I guess the author doesn't want you drinking." Ruby said as Qrow scoffed.
"Who the heck is this author guy, and why doesn't he want me drinking?" Qrow said as the Author appeared on the tv screen.
"I'm the author, and the reason why? So I can do this." He opened a flask and took a swig of whiskey.
"Ohhhhh, this whiskey is simply orgasmic, and the best part is...YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!" The author gave a middle finger to Qrow and faded away.
"What the hell? What did I do to piss that guy off?" Qrow asked as he appeared on the screen.
"You were a dick to Ironwood." He said as he disappeared again.
"What the hell?" Qrow still didn't understand what he did wrong.
"Just shut up! Next episode is starting." Glynda said.
After a week of cramming for Port's newest test you would think we could catch a break but no, Oobleck decides that a massive test on the last century is in order. So now I'm digging through the library trying to find a book on relations between the kingdoms over the past fifty years. I swear this library system makes no sense, the books are practically random.
"I can understand that." Yang said as she tried to find a book before, ended up getting lost.
"Same here..." Blake said as she was looking for erotic novels, only to realize the school didn't carry those.
"We should really consider changing the system." Goodwitch said as Ozpin nodded.
"Books are evil anyways..." Qrow said pissed off he couldn't get a drink.
"Hey Vomit-Boy." I turn to see Yang and Ruby behind me, Blake is further back through shelves.
"Hey guys, can't talk right now." Where are you, you stupid book. I've been here for the past three hours. I check the last book on the shelf and move to the next one, twenty-three down and countless more to go.
"So Vomit-boy did you hear about Ice Queen and Neptune." I hold back a grimace, the whole school heard about that. I honestly gave the relationship a 50% chance of working out but I thought it be because of the distance when SSSN left, not because Neptune would cheat on Weiss with a girl from Shade. In the girl's defense she had no idea he was supposed to be in a committed relationship.
"WHAT?!" Weiss said feeling pissed off.
"THAT BASTARD CHEATED ON ME!" Weiss was furious.
"YEAH! HOW DARE HE CHEAT ON MY BESTIE!" Ruby yelled at her defense.
"I thought Jaune was your bestie?" Yang asked.
"I can have two besties!" She said as Qrow shook his head.
"No you can't. Thats a general rule." He said as Ruby pouted.
"Well its a stupid rule! And I already made the friendship bracelet!" She said holding one up for Weiss.
"Of course I did Yang, tell Weiss I'm sorry about that." I feel somewhat responsible since I'm the one that made him go dance with Weiss two months ago. After that I apologized to Weiss for being such a pest and I've made sure to give her as much space as humanly possible. Come to think of it when was the last time I spoke to her for longer than a few words? Ah well, I think she at least can stand to be in my presence now.
"So do you girls need something because I need to find a book and I'm currently failing at that." I pull another book and nearly scream, what the hell is a cookbook doing in the history section!
"Wow, Jaune convinced Neptune to dance with you?" Yang asked as Weiss nodded.
"Yes, I still owe him for that..." She said remembering how Neptune had told her how Jaune had given him a pep talk.
"Still though, why would Neptune cheat on Weiss? He didn't seem like the type for that." Nora asked.
"It's an alternate reality. Remember?" Pyrrha suggested.
"Oh yeah."
"Right. So you've probably seen the mood Weiss had been in for the past two weeks, especially during her fight in combat class yesterday." I nod at that and turn to respond. "I think Dove is still getting treated for frostbite." I may not be on great terms with the members of CRDL but I still felt sorry for the guy.
"What did she do to them?" Qrow asked wondering what Ice Queen jr could have done.
"I don't know, but something tells me it wasn't good." Ruby said knowing the wrath of her partner.
"Right so we figured she needed to take her mind of Neptune so we thought about sending her on a blind date." That might work or the guy might end up as a popsicle. My money is on the latter. "And you need my opinion on the guy you've chosen?" I honestly don't know who they could have picked, I also don't know many of the guys at Beacon too well.
"Well sending Ren would lead to Nora breaking her …. Everything, one of the others from SSSN would be a horrible idea, anyone from CRDL is a big fat no, I think Fox and Coco have something going on, and I think Yatsu has a girl back home so that kinda limits the options available. Oh I would avoid that Flynt guy from Atlas, I saw him giving Weiss a pretty nasty glare. No idea why though." Wait here it is, finally found this stupid book. Oh how I wish I could just burn it to ashes right now.
"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'LL BREAK EVERYTHING!" Nora said with a fire burning in her eyes.
"YOU ARE NOT SETTING ME UP ON A BLIND DATE!" Weiss yelled with her gaze being ice cold.
"Isn't Flynt the pissed off movie director from that weird stoner reality we saw a bit ago?" Pyrrha asked.
"Yeah, I guess he doesn't like Weiss in any reality." Ren said.
"You forgot about someone Jaune." Did I? No, those are the only guys I can comment on. "Um, Yang those are definitely the only guys I know on a decent level, not counting Flynt, to give advice about." Yang is giving me a cheshire grin with Ruby smiling as well. What are they thinking …. Nope, no way in hell.
"Yang I am not going on a date with Weiss, she is just starting to tolerate my existence." Seriously how can they think that would be good idea?
"WHAT?!" Weiss yelled in fury.
"NO WAY!" Pyrrha yelled in defense.
"Come on Weiss! Jaune wouldn't be that bad! He's decent on the eyes!" Ruby said as she tried to calm her friend down.
"I only see him as a friend! That is all! I'm glad he stopped his pursuit of me! I have no interest in a relationship with him!" She said as she noticed Pyrrha with an evil grin on her face.
"Goooooooooooddddd." Pyrrha said as Weiss swore she had a cloaked figure behind Pyrrha.
"Come on Jaune, it's not like you've got a girlfriend." That's your reason why?! I face palm and just start walking towards the check-out desk. "Yang let's think for a second. This is Weiss we're talking about. The girl who just recently stopped hating me, which I deserved for all the times I bugged her, and moved to tolerating me being in the same room as her. The same Weiss that is currently on a hair-trigger, I would like to avoid becoming an Jaune-sicle." Yang laughs at that and I grit my teeth. That wasn't meant to be a joke. Reaching the check-out desk, I sign the book out and head towards the courtyard. I need some fresh air. Before I'm half way down the hall rose petals appear around me and Ruby is right in front of me.
"But Jaune I thought you liked Weiss?" I shake my head at Ruby and walk on by. I just want to avoid this conversation. A hand around my neck followed by me getting dragged into an empty classroom by Yang ends that notion. "Just answer the question." Might as well get this over with, Yang is too stubborn for her own good.
"Ouch, why to bring up his single life." Nora said as she knew that had to sting.
"At least he's smart enough to know when to give up on a crush." Weiss said coming to Jaune's defense.
"Awww, is Ice Queen starting to like him?" Qrow asked as Myrtenaster suddenly appeared at his crotch.
"Don't call me...Ice Queen." She said as they suddenly realized something.
"Wait, how did you get your weapon here?" Ruby asked as she was the only one who had her weapon, and that was only because the author made a plot error back in Chapter 1.
"I gave it to her so she could mess with Qrow!" The author said as he appeared behind Qrow, this time doing the crotch chop.
"SUCK IT QROW!" He yelled as he disappeared again.
Seriously what did Qrow do to piss him off this much? (1)
"If we're being honest then yes I still have a crush on Weiss however I'm not dumb enough to think I stand a shot. It took long enough but I can admit now it will never happen." Ruby seems upset at my assessment of the facts.
"But this could be your chance to show her what a good boyfriend you'd make." I can't help it; I just start laughing at that.
"Oh that's a good one Ruby, Ha Ha Ha. Look, I'm thankful you at least consider me an option but it's just not going to happen. Ignoring the fact, she is more likely to freeze me solid then go along with this idea, I don't particularly like being a pallet cleanser. I never bothered to tell you guys but I have gone on dates before, and they were the same thing. A few girls had a jerk cheat on them or break up with them so my sisters would set them up with me and then after the date they acted like I never existed." I pinch the bridge of my nose. I know my sisters meant well but after the third time it was annoying, yet no matter how much I argued they would just make me go on the dates.
"Oh wow...thats kind of sad..." Yang said as her joking manner had been set aside.
"Yeah, why would his sisters set him up as a rebound? Thats kind of a shitty thing to do..." Qrow said as the swear jar appeared once again.
"I may be cold, but seriously, thats pretty bad." Weiss said as she couldn't imagine her sister doing that to her with guy friends.
"I'm sure they meant well." Blake said being the voice of reason.
"Still sucks, you might as well say that he's only good for pity dates." Pyrrha said as Jaune was worth so much more.
Taking advantage at their shock I slip out of the room and head to the courtyard, once there I take a seat under a tree and open the book. Finally I can get some studyi… ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Some jackass has covered every inch of the inside of this book in scribbles and other garbage.
"FOR OUM'S SAKE IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR SOMETHING TO BE SIMPLE FOR ONCE?!" For crying out loud, now what? I can't find a copy on my scroll or I would have done that ages ago.
"What's up with you?" I look up from the ruined book to see Weiss standing in front of me. Remember Jaune no sudden movement and keep words to a minimum. I might get out of this with no frost burn
"Someone apparently needed to deface this book I needed to study for Oobleck's test. I can't even find an e-book copy." I make to leave only for a folder to be shoved into my hands. I shoot her a look of confusion and she sighs.
"Tread...Carefully Jaune." Nora said seeing the pissed off Weiss.
"Wow, it is weird seeing myself." Weiss said as this was the first time they had gotten a clear look at her.
"Yeah come to think of it, you don't show up in a lot of these realities." Ruby said as that was weird.
"It's my notes, copy them and then give them back to me by tomorrow." Oh thank Oum for this magnificent angel before me. "Thanks Weiss, I should actually have these back to you tonight though, I just needed some parts for the council." I make to leave but then I think for a second. Yang isn't the type to let go of an idea and Ruby is only slightly better, we still can't convince her that cookies aren't meant to be eaten every meal. Plus, I'm feeling a little vindictive after how much they annoyed me.
"Oh Weiss, you might want to talk to Ruby and Yang about their attempts to set you up on a blind date. I do think getting out would do you some good but I don't think that's the way to go about it. And they actually thought I would be a good choice if that tells you anything about their ideas." I chuckle at it and start walking to my team's room. I wave back at her as I walk off.
"Thanks for the notes Weiss." Let's see how can I pay her back. Oh I know, I think I'll give Nora permission to prank Neptune to her hearts content. Cruel but having seven sister leads to you seeing the results a cheating boyfriend can have. And this is one of my more… better/legal… ways of getting back at Neptune.
"Oh how sweet of you!" Yang said as she snuggled Weiss.
"Let go of me!" She said not liking this.
"Is anyone else worried about what Ms. Schnee will do?" Ozpin asked as he had a feeling something was going to go wrong.
"Meh, she'll be fine." Qrow said as he tried to reach for his emergency flask.
Only to find a folded up piece of paper with the words 'Fuck you!' Written on it.
"OKAY SERIOUSLY?! WHAT DID I DO TO PISS HIM OFF?!" Qrow yelled at himself.
Yang's POV
By the time I had finished thinking on what Jaune said he had ditched us and so Ruby and I went looking for him. I still say that White Knight can be a thing. When we reach the courtyard we're greeted with Weiss just staring into space.
"White knight?" Weiss asked.
"Hey! I think its a cute name!" Yang asked trying to defend herself.
"Isn't that the name of a beta male on the internet who swoops in to save a lady who doesn't need saving?" Blake asked remembering reading about that on some website called Tumblr.
She didn't go on there very often because it was populated by Social Justice Warriors and overly sensitive pansies. And that was coming from a Faunus. If a faunus thought you were being too much of a dick about Social Justice, you needed a life.
"That kind of sounds mean Blake." Nora said as Blake shrugged.
"Come on, lets face it, White Knight is a terrible name, either it means you are submissive to woman and need to appeal to their every whim, or you're someone who believes women need a man to defend them from internet trolls." She said as that was her opinion.
"Um Ice Queen you okay." Weiss blinks for a few seconds before focusing on us. She still seems to be in a trance before she shakes her head.
"Sorry, I think I just realized that I lost a chance for a wonderful opportunity." Huh, I wonder what's up with her? Then the temperature drops a few degrees. "Now what's this I hear about you trying to set me up on a blind date." Ruby starts shouting it was my idea and runs off leaving me with Weiss. Really feeling the sisterly love. A large Glyph forms behind Weiss and she points her hand at me as ice forms from the glyph.
Crap.
"RUN ME! RUNNNNNN!" Yang yelled seeing the pissed off look on the other Weiss's face.
"GO OTHER ME!" Weiss said feeling the anger flow through her.
"Is no one going to talk about the fact that Weiss just admitted to missing out on Jaune?" Pyrrha asked trying not to go full Yandere.
"Wait...WHAT?!" Weiss said as she suddenly realized what the other her just said.
"Yeah, she just said she missed a wonderful oppurtunity...too bad that would have been cute, do you think your babies would be blond or silver haired?" Ruby said as Weiss blushed.
"Wha-How dare yo-RUBY!" She said not knowing what to say.
(1) Honestly, Qrow did nothing to piss me off, I just wanted to be a dick.