Okay here we go. A comedy chapter before Restart due to messages BEGGING me to do a comedy chapter. This is the best I could do on short notice.

"Please. Please. PLEASE be something fun!" Ruby and Yang were praying after seeing Jaune burned alive and put in a big black suit.

"Kids, it's already started." Qrow said as the screen swirled.

Jaune and Ren were standing in their living room smiling. Jaune was wearing a green stocking cap, while Ren was wearing a hat with a flower on it.

"Ah see, there we go, nothing bad so far." Qrow said as there was nothing bad about standing in a living room.

"Jaaauunnne! There is a dead General in our house!" Ren said as he looked to a bleeding body on the floor.

General Ironwood lay dead on the ground with a number of stab wounds to the torso.

"Woah! Hey, how did he get here?" Jaune said not really caring.

"Way to fucking jinx it Qrow..." He said as everyone stared at the screen.

"Why is General Ironwood dead?" Nora asked.

"And why does Jaune seem so calm about it?" Pyrrha asked.

"And how is it that Ren isn't losing his mind?" Nora asked.

"How could you do this Jaune?!" Ren asked horrified.

"What do you mean?" He asked innocently.

"Why did you kill General Ironwood?!" Ren said as Jaune rolled his eyes.

"I do not kill people, that is my least favorite thing to do." Jaune said with no emotion.

He obviously wasn't taking this seriously.

"What the hell is going on?" Goodwitch asked as Ozpin shrugged.

"Well, at least they aren't trying to kill each other." He said as Ruby looked at him.

"Don't say that! You might jinx it!" Ruby said as she turned back to the screen.

"Tell me Jaune, exactly what you were doing before I came home." He said as Jaune looked up.

"Well, I was upstairs..."

"Uh huh."

"Reading a book."

"Go on."

"And this guy walked in."

"Yep."

"So I walked up to him."

"Then what Jaune?"

"So I stabbed him thirty seven times in the chest." Jaune said.

"WHAT?!" Ozpin yelled as he spat out of his coffee.

"JAUNE! WHAT THE HELL?!" Pyrrha yelled.

"Why did he stab him thirty seven times? Why not an even forty?" Nora said as everyone turned to look at her.

"What? I don't like uneven numbers." She said as everyone was a bit disturbed.

"Nora...you may need to see a therapist." Blake said.

"Jaaaauuuuunnnee, That kill people!" Ren yelled as Jaune looked shocked.

"Oh wow, I..I did not know that." Jaune looked honestly surprised.

"How could you not know that?" Ren asked horrified.

"I agree! How does he not know that?" Weiss asked as she was a little freaked out.

"And he stabbed him right in the chest too!" Yang yelled as she could not believe this.

"This is just getting weird." Ren said as he wondered why he was wearing a hat with a flower on it.

"How did Jimmy get killed that easily?" Qrow asked knowing the General was a tough cookie.

"Yeah, I'm definately in the wrong here, I suck." Jaune said still not taking it seriously.

"What happened to his hands?" Ren asked.

"What was that?" Jaune looked surprised.

"His hands? Why are they missing?" Ren asked.

"I don't think I want to know..." Weiss said.

"I don't think we have a choice in the matter." Nora said.

"Well I kind of cooked them up and ate them." Jaune said with a smile.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Blake yelled out.

"HE ATE JIMMY'S HANDS?!" Even Qrow was freaked out at this point.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM?!" Goodwitch yelled out.

"I wonder what hands would taste like?" Nora said to herself.

"Jaaaaaauuuuuunnne!" Ren was once again, horrified.

"Well, I was hungry, and when you crave hands..." He trailed off.

"Why on Earth would you do that?!" Ren yelled out in agony.

"I was hungry for hands! Give me a break!" He said as if it was an everyday thing.

"How the hell do you get hungry for hands?" Yang asked.

"More importantly, how did he first get a taste of human hands?" Ruby said as everyone shuddered.

"Has anyone else noticed Jaune hasn't shown a single emotion so far?" Pyrrha asked as everyone was a little weirded out.

Jaune was like a robot in this.

"Jaune.." Ren started.

"My stomach was making the rumblies." He said in a dark tone.

"JAUNE!" Ren tried to yell again.

"That only hands would satisfy!" He said in an even darker tone.

"What is wrong with you Jaune?!" He yelled out.

"Well, I kill people and I eat hands, thats two things." He said in a casual tone.

"What the hell are we watching?" Glynda asked as the scene suddenly switched.

"Wait, whats going on now?" Ozpin asked.

"Jaune! What on Remnant was all that?" Ren asked as they saw a cruise ship sinking in the background.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said with a straight face.

"You sunk an entire cruise ship Jaune!" Ren said in an aggravated tone.

"Are you sure? I think I would remember something like that." He said as he whistled.

"Considering you didn't remember killing someone and eating their hands...I highly doubt that." Ren said.

"Wow Ren, you're already acting like you on the screen!" Yang said as he facepalmed.

"I think any decent person would be like me on the screen." He said in a common sense tone.

"I saw you fire a harpoon into the captains face!" Ren yelled.

"That sounds dangerous."

"You were headbutting children off of the ship!"

"That must have been horrifying."

"And then you started making out with the ice sculptures!" Ren finished.

"They looked like Pyrrha." Jaune said as he missed her.

"I'm not sure if I want to be Jaune's love interest in this..." Pyrrha said as everyone looked surprised.

"Uh Jaune, why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?" Ren asked as he looked down at his feet.

"I don't want to know!" Goodwtich yelled.

"Maybe its strawberry milkshake?" Ruby said, hoping she was right.

"Wow, I guess you could say its red and sticky!" Jaune said as he looked down.

"Jaune, what are we standing in?" He asked.

"Would you believe its strawberry milkshake?"

"SEE!" Ruby said glad Jaune agreed with her.

"No I would not believe that!" Ren yelled.

"Melted gumdrops?" Jaune suggested.

"No!"

"Boat necter?"

"NO!"

"Some of Oum's tears?" He asked.

"JAUNE JUST TELL ME!" Ren yelled.

"Fiiinnnne, its Ozpin and Glynda from room 2B." He said.

"WAIT WHAT?!" Ozpin yelled out as he was surprised.

"What the heck did he do to turn us into a puddle of blood?!" Goodwitch said as she was breaking character.

But could you blame her? She was just liquified in this chapter.

"Jaaaaaauuuunnnne." Ren moaned out.

"They were hogging all the Cinammon Rolls, I had to do something." He said.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this!"

"I will not apologize for art."

"Where are the other lifeboats?" Ren asked.

"Hey...where are the other lifeboats?" Qrow said as they didn't see a single one.

"Yeah, if its a sinking ship, there should be hundreds." Ruby said.

"Wow, I didn't even notice that." Jaune said with a grin.

"Where are the other lifeboats jaune?!" Ren yelled.

"Based on the trajectory of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean, I poked lots of holes in them with Crocea Mors." He said as he held up his sword.

"Good Oum, what the hell is wrong with him?!" Pyrrha said as this guy was worse than Jaune turning into the Grimm killer from the last chapter.

"I don't know, But I'm glad he's not on my team." Weiss said as suddenly being stuck with Ruby back at the beginning of their initiation wasn't so bad now.

"Jaaauuunnnee!"

"I have a problem, I have a serious problem." Jaune said with a straight face.

"I think you have more than a problem Mr. Arc." Ozpin said as he really didn't know what his problem was.

"If he ever comes to our world, lets lock him up before he does anything too crazy.." Goodwitch said as she was scared of this Jaune.

"Agreed, at least the hat with help us identify him." Ruby said.

"You are just terrible today!" Ren said.

"Shhh, do you hear that? That is the sound of forgiveness." He said quietly.

"Thats the sound of people drowning Jaune.." Ren said in disgust.

"That is what forgiveness sounds like...Screaming and then silence." He said as the screen went black.

Everyone just sat in silence.

"Well...He's not wrong." Ozpin said.