Okay guys, I was originally going to do a crocodile dundee chapter, but I figured, I should write this one first, anyways, so Jaune Wick will return. But not yet.
Anyways, So in a way, I am fulfilling some wishes. Here, this is for one very persistent reviewer.
"Do you think we'll ever see Jaune Wick again?" Ruby said as she wanted revenge for Zwei.
"Something tells me we will..." Glynda said as she was gripping her riding crop.
No one would fuck with her dogs and live.
"One thing is for sure, I'm going to beat the hell out of Mercury when we get out of here." Yang said as he was cracking her muscles.
"RUFF!" A bark came out.
They all turned to see Zwei standing next to the author.
"ZWEI!" Ruby tackled Zwei.
"Oh my gosh! I was so worried, and you were dead! And it was so scary and-" Zwei responded by licking her face.
"It's okay, he's fine, he's a good boy." The author said as he gave Zwei a milk bone.
"RUFF!" He gave out a bark of thanks.
Meanwhile everyone was looking at the author with a weird look.
"What? I love dogs! Is that so odd?" He said as he pulled out a picture of his dog. A husky/st bernard mix.
"Uh, as much as we like dogs, shouldn't you be working?" Ozpin said.
"Oh yeah..." He said as he disappeared.
But not before giving Zwei a slice of bacon.
The screen opened up to a a nice starry night in the middle of Atlas. The stars were shining bright. And people were running by with their dogs. Just enjoying the nice cool air.
"Well this seems peaceful." Qrow said as Ruby smacked him.
"Ow! What the hell kid?!" He said.
"Everytime you say that, something bad happens!" She said as the author appeared.
"That's right! Because I'm a dick!" He said.
Ruby Rose was running by with her dog Zwei. He may have been just a wittle tiny pupper, but he was determined to run with his favorite master. The only problem was he was easily distracted.
So when he saw some sort of object fall from the sky. He went after it.
"ZWEI!" Ruby yelled as she had no idea where he went.
He could be very elusive when he wanted to.
"What was that?" Blake asked.
"It looked like a rock." Yang said.
"A glowing rock?" Ruby asked.
"There are glowing dust crystals Miss Rose." Goodwitch said.
"But why would one be in the sky?" She asked.
"Waste from aircraft." She said.
Zwei ran into the field. And saw something. It was a tiny little craft. It looked like something you would build out of a model kit. All he knew was that it was tiny, it was something he would probably use as a chew toy.
But what was funny was that there was something under it.
Some strange snake plant thingy...what was that?
"What the hell is that thing?" Yang said as it looked disgusting.
"A snake?" Ozpin said.
"AN ALIEN SNAKE!" Nora said.
"Nora, don't be ridiculous." Ren said.
"Then how do you explain the spaceship?!" She said as she was a fan of aliens.
"It's...a weather balloon." He said.
"What kind of idiot would but that excuse?!" She said. (1)
Zwei was curious, so he kneeled down in front of it.
The snake thing imitated Zwei's movements as it tried to make a kneeled motion.
"Awwww, that's cute..." Ruby said.
"It's a freaky snake thing..." Weiss said.
"But it's imitating Zwei!" She said as it was so adorable.
"RUFF!" Zwei barked at it happily.
The snake responded by letting out a terrifying roar and showing off rows of teeth.
"YIP! YIP! YIP!" Zwei ran away like a bat out of hell.
"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Ruby said as she ended up clinging to Yang for dear life.
"What the hell?" Yang was confused.
"That is fucking ugly." Weiss said in a rare moment of profanity.
"I don't think I like this..." Goodwitch had a bad feeling.
The snake proceeded to slither forward. Trying to find something to help it blend in with the environment.
The answer came with a lingerie catalogue.
The snake saw the wind flip through pages.
First was a woman with bunny ears.
"VELVET?!" Team RWBY and NPR yelled out.
The next woman was a red head posing with her ass to the camera.
"PYRRHA?!" Everyone yelled.
"Oh...Oh my..." She said as she was embarassed.
Finally the pages stopped turning.
And landed on a woman in a skimpy leather bikini holding a riding crop. With blond hair and striking green eyes.
"PROFESSOR GOODWITCH?!" Both Teams and Qrow yelled out.
Ozpin had to resist the urge to choke on his coffee.
Glynda's face had never turned so red. She wanted to be angry, but she couldn't be. But she couldn't believe that she would wear...anything like that.
"I have the weirdest boner right now." Qrow thought to himself.
He had to do a tuck into his waistband to prevent anyone from seeing his arousal.
The snake thing nodded and opened its mouth. And suddenly hundreds and hundreds of tendrils started to pour out and form a larger form. It started to add curves. It started to change it's green slimy texture into slightly tan skin. And you could even see hints of undergarments starting to form.
Soon they saw a pair of legs, followed by a skimpy leather bikin. And then finally a beautiful face.
A face they knew, but with a different gender.
Jauneleena
"JAUNE IS A WOMAN?!" Ruby yelled.
"JAUNE IS AN ALIEN!" Nora got excited.
"Oh...Uhm...Uh..." Qrow was too busy staring at Jaune's new breasts.
They were nice...just like his mom's from that one episode.
Again, his arousal had to be secured so that no one saw it.
Ignoring the fact she was a tentacle monster a second ago.
Suddenly she was grabbed from behind.
"Hey pretty lady!" A creepy criminal held a knife to her throat.
Roman Torchwick, a petty thug at the wrong place at the wrong time.
He licked her neck all the way up to her cheek.
"You taste good." He said as he pulled her behind the bushes.
"EEEWWWWW!" Ruby was honestly disgusted.
"Is torchwick going to..." Blake felt worried for Jauneleena.
"If he does..." Pyrrha was going to castrate someone.
"HEY WHAT THE?!" He yelled out as they suddenly saw a pair of legs lifted up in the air.
And then a swallowing motion.
"Yeah...you too..." Jauneleena's voices said.
"Did...Did she just?" Weiss asked.
"DID SHE JUST FUCKING EAT HIM?!" Qrow's dick was suddenly softer than putty.
"I think I'm going to be sick..." Ren said.
"I told you she was an alien!" Nora said triumphantly.
Jauneleena walked out from behind the bushes. A huge bulging belly was the symbol of her recent meal. But then she looked back down at the magazine. She realized that she didn't look like the model anymore. Which was a huge problem. Tapping her stomach she knew what she had to do.
She walked back behind the bush.
And all they heard was a vomiting noise.
"BLLLAAAGGGGGHHHH!" Qrow vomited on Weiss.
"HOW DARE YOU?!" She yelled as she pulled out her rapier.
"Wow! Ice Queen calm down!" He said as she was ready to poke holes into his dick.
Only for the vomit to disappear.
"You owe me one Qrow." The author said as he gave a thumbs up.
He may like being a dick to Qrow, but even he didn't like the idea of getting your dick penetrated.
Suddenly Jauneleena walked out from behind the bushes. Holding a leather jacket and pants, and a pair of biker boots.
All the while the camera focused in on her ass.
She did have a nice one.
"Yeah, not falling for that again." Qrow said as he was certain his dick was dead from that.
"I still can't believe I was in such a...Vulgar profession." Goodwitch said as she had read the ad for her model.
"Buxom Blonde Dommes, Call for your free session today, if not, you will be punished." Was what it had said.
She didn't like this reality. She didn't like it at all.