Stuck In Second Gear

Chapter 9

The One With a Sneaky Sorceress, a Famous Chicken, and a Crossword Clue

Five months.

Quistis couldn't quite believe it. If she'd been five months ago if she would still be seeing Seifer after their tryst at Rinoa and Squall's wedding, she would have answered with an unequivocal no. The Quistis of five months ago would have deemed that Seifer was too much of a lothario, too selfish, arrogant, and rude to be in any type of relationship.

He had surprised her. Mightily so.

It hadn't been the smoothest of months. Both of their insecurities were front and center, crippling the process of their growing connection. Seifer covered his insecurities of rejection and failure with far too much ego and bravado. Quistis covered her insecurities of loss and rejection with iciness and dismissiveness.

They both saw through each other. Maybe that's why it worked. Seifer tried, Hyne bless him, he really did. He very often failed in the execution, but the sentiment wasn't lost on Quistis. Even though he was busy, when he wasn't in class, or working, or interning at the law firm, he always made time for her. And he was surprisingly patient when she had to cancel on him because of Garden.

Garden was the real sore subject between them. The Quistis of five months ago would have defended Garden to the death. But, as she watched how the world worked outside of Garden, she was beginning to see things differently. The cracks on the pristine surface. She also hated to admit that Seifer was right. The only reason Commander Ass, ahem, Squall, stayed at Garden was for Rinoa's protection.

Despite both their hectic schedules, Seifer and Quistis had managed to see each other about every other week. If they were lucky, for an entire weekend, even if Seifer was studying or working half the time.

It wasn't enough. The time was never enough.

After realizing that the big occasion of a date was far too much pressure, Seifer's suggestion of just killing monsters together instead turned out to be just the remedy. That evolved into finding hole-in-the-wall restaurants, watching sporting events at bars, heading to the chocobo race-tracks, or just cooking a meal together in his apartment.

Given Seifer's busy work and school schedule, a lot of their time was limited to either Quistis hanging out at the bar while he worked, or keeping him company while he studied or did paralegal work for the law firm where he interned. Sometimes they would sift through papers together, doing the mundane task of highlighting phone calls. Naturally, Seifer would somehow turn that into a game where they both ended up in their underwear.

It was definitely a relationship. Or so she thought. And a serious one. She was pretty sure. But then again, with Seifer, he was never upfront about it. He never overtly said that he even liked her, though his actions certainly seemed to imply that he did. And she was just too terrified to ask. What if she asked and he laughed in her face, like she was an idiot for assuming this was more than it was?

The moment Quistis knew it was possibly serious was when, two months ago, she entered his apartment to find Fujin and Raijin there. They didn't seem surprised at her presence at all. Instead, Raijin gave her a huge hug and said something along the lines of "about time he settled down, ya know?", while Fujin stared at her, a one-eyed glare, in a way that said "HURT SEIFER. KILL YOU." Since then, Fujin had become a decent friend, and it turned out, a fun baking partner. Fujin even wore a surprisingly frilly white apron when doing so.

Some times, when Seifer was otherwise occupied, Quistis would spend the daytime of her Deling trips baking with Fujin in Seifer's kitchen. Raijin and Seifer were happy to be test subjects, though Seifer frequently complained that Quistis was making him fat.

She wasn't. He made they both burned up any extra calories with extra cardio in the bedroom.

But, then again, Seifer letting his posse know about Quistis didn't necessarily mean he was serious about her. They were loyal to him to the end; he didn't like to keep secrets from them. What if Seifer had only told them for his own convenience?

She was so sick of doubting herself. And them.

Quistis spent her time vacillating between basking in the happiness of this unexpected romance, and waiting for the inevitable. The proverbial other shoe to drop.

And so, Quistis found herself at Mandy Beach, watching Fujin and Raijin splash each other in the ocean, as she lay on her stomach, enjoying the warm rays of the sun beating onto her back.

Seifer was leaning on his elbow beside her, bare chested in blue swim trunks, lazily trailing his fingers along the back of her thigh and along her bottom in a deceivingly innocent way. But, she knew him better by now.

"Did I mention that I'm glad you made it?" he asked again, for seemingly the millionth time, toying with the edge of her black cut-out one-piece.

Quistis peered over her shoulder at him, adjusting her sunglasses to shield the glare from the sun. "Pretty sure you mentioned it. I was surprised when Rinoa said I would have a few days off."

Seifer pressed a kiss to the soft skin of her backside where his hands had been the moment before. "Mmmm…"

She tried not to roll her eyes. Seifer clearly wasn't paying attention.

"Definitely last-minute that I was able to come. I was supposed to go to a mission to Esthar, but Rinoa said someone else would go instead."

His kisses were moving up her side, nibbling on the skin between her ribs, and the next thing Quistis knew, she was lost in him, on her back as his lips met with hers, her hand spearing through his hair as she tugged his body closer onto hers.

It never got old. She didn't care that Fujin and Raijin were nearby. They had become used to Seifer and Quistis' affection and for the most part ignored it or cheered them on. Seifer seemingly never kept his hands to himself around her, onlookers be damned.

His lips moved from her own, to her cheek, to the sweat mixed with saltwater on her neck, then back to her mouth where he pushed his tongue beyond her teeth. His kisses were all teeth and tongue and passion. His hands roamed her bare back, toying with the tie of her swimsuit before moving to gently tickle her stomach. It was enough to distract her from whatever conversation they were having and Quistis hummed happily.

"Rinoa."

That effectively stopped whatever affectionate thoughts she was having about the man who was currently on top of her, and she slipped her hands between them to push him off.

"Excuse me?"

They had never formally spoken of Seifer's relationship with Rinoa. Quistis had never really worried about it. Rinoa and Squall were married. Seifer and Rinoa were friends and shared an important bond. A very, very close bond. Something no one else had…end of story. Right? But, maybe she had misread it, maybe Seifer…

He had paused kissing her and pulled back, his eyes confused as he looked down at her. "Rinoa? You said Rinoa was the one who told you take the week off?"

Quistis lifted herself up on her elbows, sobering up. Apparently Seifer's brain was just registering what she had been saying earlier. "Yeah, Rinoa told me…"

Seifer shook his head and his eyebrows furrowed, crinkling his scar, in the way they did when he was concentrating deeply. "No, tell me the whole story."

Rinoa was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of herbal tea as she idly flipped through a magazine. "I can't believe they are still publishing stuff about me and Squall. This one is spreading a rumor that Squall married me because I'm pregnant. I mean, I know I put on a few kilos since the wedding, but come on…"

Quistis sighed. "Just ignore it, they will move on to something else. I'm just glad they don't seem to follow the rest of us around."

The sorceress shook her head, turning the magazine around to show Quistis. "They only follow us because of Daddy and Squall being Laguna's son. Look who else they are following now though."

"Zell?" Quistis' eyes widened at a picture of Zell pulling his helmet off while disembarking from his motorcycle, an attractive blonde at his side, helmet in hand, wearing a leather catsuit that left very little to the imagination. Her face was turned slightly, as if laughing at something Zell was saying. They both looked happy.

A small caption accompanied the image. "Lady Chantelle De la Croix, daughter of Lord De la Croix, premier of the Galbadian Council of Elders, heiress to Croix Shipping, pictured here with unconfirmed male. Rumored to be current lightweight boxing champ Zell Dincht. He is also poised to win gold at next years World Games in T-Board…"

"Holy shit." Seifer's hands were back to wandering along Quistis' hips, but they stopped mid-trail at that tidbit. "They are in a fucking magazine? Fucking Chicken-wuss. I swear that moron has the stupidest luck."

Quistis blinked at him in surprise. "What? You're jealous?"

Seifer chuckled and shook his head. "Nah. I'm happy for him. She ain't a natural blonde anyway, no way the curtains match the drapes."

"Sweet Hyne, Seifer…" Quistis pinched the bridge of her nose. Sometimes she had no idea what she saw in this man.

"Besides…" He leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips. "I only have eyes for one blonde. You're the only thing I see, babe, you know that."

She tried to hide her blush as she continued her tale…

"So, you've been so busy lately…" Rinoa said casually as she kept looking through her magazine. "Squall said you haven't had time off in like three weeks. He's been working a lot too, he went to Trabia with Cid recently, we think he's going to get promoted."

"He's such a brown-nosing douche. He's got his head so far up Cid's ass—" Seifer interjected.

"Seifer, please."

"Sorry, please continue."

"Since you've been so busy, Squall thought that someone else should take the mission to Esthar next week. You need a vacation." Rinoa looked up and met Quistis' eyes, her own twinkling with mischief. "Maybe you should go to the beach or something and relax? Commander's orders."

"Rinoa said that you should go to the beach?" Seifer sat straight up, narrowing his eyes as he glared out at the ocean.

"Y-yeah? I mean, she probably meant Balamb. It is a coastal town, after all."

Seifer rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "That devious little…she knows."

"Knows what?"

"About us, obviously. Rinoa and I were supposed to get coffee this week and I cancelled on her when I got the invite to Mandy Beach."

Quistis paused and considered. Rinoa was sneaky enough to pull this off, too. Why wouldn't she just come out and ask about her and Seifer? Then again, it was not like Quistis was forthright with the information, because that meant explaining what they were actually doing in this relationship-thing. What it meant to her. Where it was going…

Was Rinoa, in her own way, encouraging it?

A wicked gleam was in Seifer's eye. "But…she doesn't know that we know that she knows."

"Huh?"

He rubbed his hands together in a diabolical fashion. "Oh, this could be fun…"

Quistis leaned back onto the sand with a sigh. No point in dwelling on it. Or on whatever plan Seifer was inevitably concocting in his head. If Rinoa knew then she knew. It certainly seemed like she was keeping it to herself, at least.

"So, Commander Ochu-Brain went to Esthar instead?" Seifer asked

She stretched languidly, enjoying the sun on her body. "No. Xu did. She was pissed. Apparently, she had plans. I tried to get her out of it, but it was too late. At least she wasn't mad at me."

Seifer barked out a laugh that left him doubled over. "Fucking hell…Fujin was supposed to bring her girlfriend here this week so we could finally meet her."

Quistis sat up next to Seifer and cast him a confused look. "I'm not sure why that's funny."

"Because, she had to cancel last minute to go to…get this…Esthar."

Fujin and…Xu?

It was just crazy enough to be true.

Seifer abruptly stood up and offered Quistis a hand after dusting the sand from the back of his swim trunks. She clasped her hand in his and he hoisted her effortlessly up and slung her over his shoulder.

"Seifer!"

She was answered with a firm smack to her bottom causing her to yelp in protest.

"Come on, babe. Let's make use of the empty cottage while the kids play in the ocean. As sexy as the beach is, and as much as I don't give a shit who sees us, sand in untoward places seems like a big no-no."

The next two days at the beach went by in pleasant fashion, with all of Quistis' worries about the relationship washing off with the ocean water. As Rinoa had said, she really did need the vacation. She returned to Balamb fully satisfied, in many ways.

As usual, Seifer was late. Zell, as always, was saving a seat for him at the bar.

"Dude…" Zell chastised, motioning for Malcolm to get Seifer a pint.

"I know, I know, Chicken-wuss. I'm sorry."

A female voice answered, and Seifer was uncharacteristically taken off-guard. "You're just in time, Seifer. Watch the television."

Seifer did a brief double take. Zell had his arm around the waist of, and hand planted firmly on the bottom, of a woman who looked fairly familiar. Long chestnut, almost red hair was swept in a braid to the side that faded into blonder tips at the end, tumbling to beyond her belly button. She wore a tight t-shirt with some logo on it, designer jeans, and a pair of thigh-high boots with a matching purse that surely cost what Zell would take home as the winnings of a major tournament. It also made her a good ten centimeters taller than the tattooed man next to her.

"Uh…"

The woman laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder before planting a kiss firmly on Zell's cheek. To Zell's credit, he didn't blush or turn away. Had he finally overcome his bizarre fear of flirting?

Seifer inwardly cringed.

"I know. I look different. Stopped dying my hair. Zell likes me more au naturel. Said to stop putting so much junk in my lips."

Biting his lip to stop himself, Seifer refrained from making a dirty joke. It would have been a good one too.

So it was Rinoa's cousin. Chantelle. She did look different. And better. Zell was right. All the crap she put in her face and hair aged her. The natural look was much more attractive.

Zell curled his arm around Chantelle's waist, tugging her closer, and grinned happily. "You're always gorgeous, 'Telle. So dude, watch the TV, wait for the next ad that's going to come on."

Seifer raised an eyebrow and turned to the television. A commercial appeared with none other than Zell Dincht sporting no shirt and his light-weight champions belt around his waist. Music blared in the background. He was advertising some electrolyte drink.

"Hey! The ad makes you look tall, Chicken-wuss. Not bad!"

Chantelle nuzzled Zell's neck. "You look sexy. This ad is gonna go viral."

Seifer hated to admit that she was probably right.

Zell had a smile on his face that was all teeth. "Chantelle set it up. You wouldn't believe what kind of money can be made in endorsements! I have three companies that want my name on their stuff. Crazy, right?"

"No shit, wuss. I could have told you that. But did you—"

"Register himself as a company, clear it with his agent, do contract negotiations with opt-out clauses? Yeah. We did all that." Chantelle boasted proudly.

"Well, alright then."

Zell's phone started to buzz and he glanced at it for a moment before standing up and offering a nod of apology to his two companions. "It's Ma. She must have seen the ad—" He gestured to the phone and then to outside before disappearing into the crowd.

Chantelle slid into Zell's now-empty seat and idly stirred the olive in her martini. "So, where's your girlfriend?" she finally asked.

Seifer choked slightly on his beer, but maintained his composure, not saying anything.

Chantelle rolled her eyes and cast him a vicious side-eye. "Come off it. You ignored me at the wedding. Thanks, by the way. Meeting my moomba was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Not to mention he's hung like a behemoth"

Moomba? Behemoth? Seifer tried not to vomit all over the counter.

"I know guys like you. You and me. We're the same. We are both self-centered and arrogant. We know what we look like. Yet, you ignored me. And, there has been at least six women in here checking you out and you haven't noticed. So. You're either into guys, or you have a girlfriend."

"Or I just have fucking standards…" Seifer mumbled.

Chantelle scoffed, not put off in the least. "Please. We both know I'm a catch. So, what's the deal?"

Seifer turned in his seat to face her. "Are you hitting on me or something? Not take rejection well? I thought you were all into Zell. I'm not into banging my…fr—Zell's sloppy seconds, lady."

She seemed surprised at that. "What? Sweet Hyne, no! Wow, you're more arrogant than I thought. I'm just wondering why I never see you with whoever you are obviously texting under the table. Whoever was at the wedding. Zell has never mentioned meeting anyone. This is like, a normal question, Seifer. What's the deal?"

Seifer sighed and picked at the edge of the label on his beer. He was surprised when an honest answer came out. "I…she's not…it's on the down-low."

"Why? Is she married? Oh my Hyne! Are you married? It's not that awful pig-tailed girl that broke my moomba's heart, is it?"

"What is wrong with you?" Seifer shook his head. "No. None of those things. I just think if we went public with her friends… let's just say her workplace really hates me, and I'm…I might lose what we have."

"You're scared." Chantelle said it as a statement instead of a question. "You're afraid to lose her…but do you really have her like this? Your relationship is half in the dark. Don't you want it all?"

Seifer said nothing, staring at the foam in his beer. He had underestimated Chantelle greatly, and the fact that she was correct on many of the things she had said was irritating the crap out of him. He wanted to go stab something with Hyperion. Yes, he was terrified. Terrified that if Garden found out, Quistis would choose Garden over him. He didn't think the two could co-exist at the same time, and there was no freaking way he was going to be like Rinoa and interact on a daily basis with a place that literally wanted him dead. The rest of the world may view him as a sexy catch, accomplished, but Garden still viewed him as trash. That was never going to change. As long as Quistis still worshipped at the altar of Garden, there was no way they would let her have a relationship with Ultimecia's Knight.

No matter how much they…they…

Dammit, no matter how perfect they were for each other.

Sensing his inner turmoil, Chantelle changed the conversation. "Seriously, thanks for introducing me to Zell at the wedding. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"No problem." He said it more roughly than he intended.

"You know, he's the first guy I've met who doesn't care who I am. I don't even think he actually knows," she giggled. "He actually likes me for me. Who would have thought, huh?"

That sounded nice. Familiar. Quistis saw through it all and liked Seifer despite himself.

Seifer shrugged. "That's Chicken-wuss for ya."

"You're a good friend, Seifer."

Seifer began to deny that they were friends before she interrupted him.

"Hope everything works out with your girl."

He was about to retort when Zell returned. Chantelle got out of Zell's seat and then slid herself onto his lap, attaching herself to him as if they were a fused unit.

Her forwardness certainly hadn't diminished with her lip size. But it seemed less forced. More natural. Like this was just how they were as a couple. And Zell, to his credit, neither seemed oblivious, nor like he was going to get up and bolt out of embarrassment.

Patting Zell once on the back, Seifer said, "Good for you, Dincht," before sipping his beer and returning his attention to the television. "Let's watch the game, hm?"

Quistis eased herself onto the soft pillows of her bed as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line. When they were apart, Seifer and she had taken to talking almost daily, even if it was just in text messages. They spoke on the phone frequently, often before bed. She had a nice mattress, having splurged on one better than the awful Garden-issue ones, but it was certainly not as nice as Seifer's large bed. Combined with the feeling of his arms around her, it had fast become her favorite place to be. Garden was starting to feel less and less like home.

Strangely, this was how they had become the closest. These conversations. It was when they learned the most about each other, since their time together physically was so limited that a large chunk of it was lost tangled in each other's arms.

Seifer was in the process of regaling his day to her, complete with the revelation about Zell's seemingly fairly serious relationship.

Quistis was surprised to say the least. "So, Rinoa's cousin set Zell up with sponsors and he's not going to box as much? Ma must be happy, as well as his neurologists."

"Yeah, weird right? He actually seems really happy. And she doesn't seem crazy. A lot less stupid than I thought she was."

"Doesn't she have a graduate degree from Dollet U?"

"I just found that out. I guess I never really pay attention when she's talking that much."

Ah, Seifer. Of course he didn't. Quistis felt glad for Zell, but it also left a looming question in the air that she was terrified to bring up. Zell was moving on once again, in a relationship this time. Quistis and Seifer were enjoying whatever was between them, but in the end they had an expiration date, right? Maybe that was why Quistis was so hesitant to tell her friends. Once they knew, she would have to answer the question hanging in the air…

Where was this going?

The shoe would drop.

She was terrified of the answer. She wanted their relationship to go places, many places. Visions of small blonde children with piercing green eyes flashed through her mind before she clamped that down. That wasn't a possibility as long as she was working as a mercenary.

Plus, Seifer wasn't that type…was he? Wasn't he? Hyne, they didn't even live in the same city, let alone continent.

She stopped her musings to focus on what Seifer was saying. She could hear the sloshing in the background, a tell-tale sign.

"You in your bathtub?"

"Yup. With a glass of Galbadian red. Kind of lonely in this big ole tub, though."

She couldn't help but smile at the image. "Don't you ever turn off?"

"With you? Never." She could tell he was grinning.

There was a pause and he cleared his throat. "So. Good luck tomorrow with your meeting."

That was the most they were going to talk about it. The other giant malboro in the room. Garden was still a giant no-no in their relationship. She had a meeting with Cid in the morning to discuss her career. A meeting she had been aching to have for the past five years, yet now that it was finally happening, it somehow didn't feel as important anymore.

"Thanks, Seifer."

His pleasant chuckle reverberated through the phone and made her shiver. She could picture him, laid back in the bath with his glasses on, red wine in one hand, crossword book in the other. Bubbles and the pleasant smell of lavender in the air. The water just a little too hot. She wanted to be there with him. She wanted to be there with him every day.

The thought caught in her chest and made it constrict in a nearly painful way. There was a pit settling in the bottom of her stomach that wasn't going away any time soon.

She wanted him to be curled up behind her in the bathtub, nuzzling her cheek with his stubble as he glanced over her shoulder at the crossword they were working on together. His hand would slide innocently down her arm, to her thigh and then in between her legs, and tossing the crossword book across the room he would do unspeakable things to her with those magic hands that would leave her almost weeping in pleasure. Then she would turn around and drape her hands across his shoulders and he would stare at her in the most intense way when their bodies finally connected. They would fall asleep in each other's arms, his warm chest against her back.

She would awaken with the sun, but he would already have been awake for a few hours, in his study, wearing nothing but boxer briefs and glasses, three cups of black coffee in, muttering to himself as he worked or studied. She would chastise him for not eating breakfast, and he would argue in return, but concede and they would eat together…

She wanted that every day. It wasn't enough anymore.

This wasn't enough anymore.

She deserved more.

He spoke, interrupting her racing thoughts.

"What was that?"

"The crossword. What's a six-letter word for 'fated'?"

She hmmed thoughtfully. "Does 'karmic' work?".

"Damn you're good. See, this is why I love you."

Her throat went dry. Any words that were coming were stuck and Quistis could feel her heart hammering in her chest so fast that it was drumming in her ears as blood rushed to her face. Seifer only said that because he had been drinking. It was just the wine. And the fact that he had been out having beers with Zell earlier. And the crossword. Surely he didn't mean it. It was said too casually, too easily…

"Wh—What?" she squeaked out.

His voice was annoyingly calm. Like what he had just said to her was no big deal at all. "Good night, Quistis. Sweet dreams."

And the line went dead.

Sunrise came quickly, and before she knew it Quistis was standing in the reception area for Cid's office. Nida was at his desk to the side, with the Library Girl leaning over it and whispering to him. The two kept giggling to each other and Quistis didn't fail to notice the way Nida tucked a stray hair from the girl's braid behind her ear. That was a new development. Or, maybe it really wasn't at all. She hadn't really been around much, or been paying attention.

Her reverie was interrupted by Cid's scratchy high-pitched voice. "Come in, Quistis."

To her surprise, Nida and the Library Girl followed her into the office.

All of them stood at attention until Cid gestured to the comfortable dark green leather furniture in front of his desk and the three SeeDs took a seat.

"At ease. I'll make this brief."

Cid clasped his hands behind his back as he began to pace. "Squall has been promoted as Captain of all Gardens. Leaving a spot open here for Commander."

Well, that came as no shock. Good for Squall, it meant zero time on missions.

"Nida is going to be Commander of Balamb."

Quistis whipped her head to the side, trying to cover the stunned look on her face. Neither Nida or the Library Girl seemed caught off guard, meaning they knew of this.

Nida? Nida?

"Nora has been promoted to Dean of Faculty for Balamb."

The Library Girl? Dean of Faculty? Promoted over Quistis? She had never even taught a class! Quistis wasn't even sure if she had any knowledge about curriculum development. Sure, she was extremely useful in the library, but…

"Don't worry, Quistis. This decision didn't come easily. I am promoting you also."

Quistis found her voice and looked up to meet Cid's eyes. "Sir?"

"We have created a new position. One where you will travel between the Garden and ensure operations are smooth. Assist in hiring personnel."

This didn't exactly sound like a teaching promotion, it sounded like a job where you send someone to get out of the way, but pay them more money to do it. Like an ambassadorship to some Hyne-forsaken land.

"I wouldn't be teaching anymore?"

Cid chuckled in that obnoxious way he always did. "No need to stress over teaching anymore, Quistis. It's due time for you to be promoted, and you won't have to worry about field ops anymore either."

"What about Balamb Garden, sir?"

"You wouldn't live in Balamb anymore. You would travel between the Gardens. Mostly Trabia, the new Garden in Esthar, and here. Galbadia isn't in need of this yet as they are currently in talks with the army…"

No more Balamb? Constant travel…

But a promotion. She had been waiting for this for seven years.

Seven years of being overlooked, downtrodden, and unappreciated, and now things were finally going to change. Or were they? What if seven more years of the same? Everyone else moving onwards and upwards, with Quistis trapped in the same Hyneforsaken rut until she was thirty, or even forty, alone and burned out…

Cid was still talking, but she had stopped listening a while ago. Her eyes slid over to the needle of the old-fashioned Dolletian carriage clock Cid kept on the shelf of his office. Tick, tick, tick. Time was moving on and leaving her behind. Again.

A/N: Thank you to my beta, colobonema :)