Disclaimer: I own nothing in regard to GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the many reviews and the feedback.

Chapter Thirty-Four

One night in early December while they were in the parlor Rhett asked Scarlett, "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Another baby."

"Really?"

"Yes, I feel a need to replace the baby we lost."

"No, you almost died."

"Rhett, I wasn't close to dying."

"You were in a lot of pain, and I thought you were going to die."

"Yes, I was in pain, but I really want another child. Please, Rhett."

Reluctantly Rhett said, "Alright. I will do my part."

The Christmas of seventy-one was lovely with lots of presents. Mammy made her special breakfast cake that she only made once a year. Scarlett ate too much cake, but she didn't care. They had the Wilkes and Hamiltons over for Christmas dinner. It was as boring as the year before to Scarlett. Scarlett decided that the Wilkes finances must be tighter than they had been in years past because after a token protest Melanie had quickly agreed for Christmas dinner to be at Scarlett's house.

That afternoon Rhett joined Scarlett in a brandy after their guest had left. Rhett talked about the book he was reading and other interesting facts from history. Scarlett talked a little bit about the store and the latest update from Suellen about Tara. It was a relaxed and comfortable afternoon.

Suellen and her family came to Atlanta after the first of the year. Sue had reached an agreement with Mr. Livingstone over the price of his gin, and she needed Scarlett to sign the contract. Mr. Livingstone had agreed to become the manager of the gin also.

While the ladies were talking Suellen said, "I have decided that we should go to something called 'sharecropping.' We let a tenant use fifty acres of land, a cabin, and supplies in exchange he gives us fifty percent of his profits. Everyone is doing it. It makes the field hand feel they are in control of their future."

"How do we make sure we get our share of the profits?"

"We are going to talk to Mr. Hamilton about drawing up a contract."

"No, let's go talk to Mr. Taylor. He is a lot younger. He is a Yankee, and he won't get bogged down in what is proper and what isn't."

"Fine with me. We certainly aren't behaving properly."

"No, we aren't but we do have full bellies and clean, dry places to sleep."

"And new buggies and new horses."

"And money in the bank."

They laughed. Finally, Scarlett said, "Let's go see Mr. Taylor."

Mr. Taylor was able to prepare the contract right then for it was a simple contract. It would probably get more complicated as time went by but what they had was good enough to get started. The ladies made a couple of copies and Scarlett signed them. Scarlett would make more copies of the contract and Will would pick them up when he came into town to get the monthly supplies later in the month.

In the middle of the month, they celebrated Wade's birthday with a mixture of people. Some from polite society and some from Rhett's business world. At the party, Scarlett saw an expression on Wade's face that was Rhett all over again. With great sadness she knew they would have to move far away where nobody knew them. Not up North. She wouldn't live in the North. As she looked at Ashley, although she knew it wasn't really his fault, she was having to move away from Tara, nonetheless she still couldn't stop herself from blaming him. If he hadn't trifled with her feelings she would not be having to move far away from Tara.

She went to the bookstore and bought every book they had about Australia. Rhett had not been able to find anyone who had ever been to Australia which was not surprising because it was halfway around the world.

Scarlett read all the books. She liked Australia. She read about Sydney, Melbourne, and Perth. She wondered if any of these cities were sophisticated enough for her husband. As much as he claimed not to be a gentleman, he like to do all those gentlemanly pursuits like going to plays and the opera.

They talked about London, San Francisco, Sydney and Melbourne. They wondered if any of those places would be where they could move to and be safe from someone who ever knew their past showing up.

Scarlett said, "I like Sydney, but I don't think you would like it. I don't want to move somewhere that you would be unhappy living at.

"Baby, if I am unhappy, we can move again."

"Alright but find us someone who has actually lived in Australia."

"I will try."

"I am getting closer and closer to being ready to leave. I just feel like there is a reason I need to stay for a little while longer."

"Alright. One more year. Wade is acting more and more like me every day."

"Ella too," Scarlett smiled. She continued, "She so loves to aggravate Wade. I would feel sorry for Wade if he didn't love aggravating her just as much."

"Funny, the child that everyone knows is mine acts and behaves more like you.

"She has her moments when she is definitely your child. She is so cute when she tries to scare Wade."

Rhett laughed. Scarlett smiled and said, "I think I will probably be ready to leave within a year or two. Please be patient with me until the time is right."

"Alright."

He sat down beside her and held her close.

Later that night as she laid in her bed half listening to Rhett's stories, she wondered why she thought everything would be all over within the next two years. She had a thought in the back of her mind. She tried not to let herself think that thought. Nonetheless, Scarlett knew that because she had survived a miscarriage it was going to give Melly renewed determination in her quest to have another child. It was such a dreadful thought she couldn't even say it out loud.

Instead, she decided that when they had their quarterly pictures taken, they could have them taken at Tara. That made her happy and she went to sleep. She also knew she was already pregnant again.

They had a third birthday party for Genie. Rhett had bought her a pony. He went through the same routine with the little girl as he had with Wade and Ella. He kept his hand on her back until she gained confidence and knew she wasn't going to fall off the pony.

On St. Valentine's Day Rhett took her to Chalet Basque again. He again groused about the food at the restaurant. Rhett gave her a ruby necklace and Scarlett gave Rhett a red cravat. As Scarlett watched Rhett open the present, she wondered why she always gave him a red cravat. She had never seen him wear any of the other ones she had given him. She guessed she liked to aggravate him also. With that thought she said, "Do you like it?"

"Of course, my lady."

She thought, 'So much for him never having lied to me.' She just smiled innocently at him.

When Scarlett refused the champagne, he raised an eyebrow quizzically. She smiled and said, "I hear it isn't good for the baby."

Rhett had already known she was pregnant because she had missed her flow twice, but he had not wanted to accept it. With her statement it was a reality. He smiled a tight smile. He was happy and fearful all at the same time. Yes, he wanted more children but not at the cost of Scarlett's life. He would be on edge until the baby was safely delivered.

Scarlett leaned forward and said, "Rhett, it will be alright. The last baby wasn't right. Remember that is what you said. This baby will be fine."

In a cold voice Rhett said, "I know what I said but what if this baby isn't right also. What if something happens to you during labor and delivery."

Scarlett smiled gently at him and said, "Rhett this is going to happen if we keep being intimate. I'm certainly not going to go to a doctor and get rid of it."

"I would never allow you to go to a butcher like that."

"Then we are going to have more children. Neither one of us could stand not being intimate."

Rhett gave her a smile of acceptance. He said, "You are right, my lady. We would be hell to live with if we stopped being intimate."

"Let's go home."

"Not until you finish your dessert."

Scarlett smiled at him. Rhett smiled back. Rhett thought, 'Tonight I am going to apologize and tell her of my love.'

Rhett had not apologized to anyone since he was twelve years old, and his mammy had made him do it then. He had not meant it when he said the words. Yet, if anyone deserved an apology from him it was Scarlett. He had resisted telling Scarlett he loved her for so many reasons. He didn't want to have his love thrown back in his face. He didn't want her to try to use his love against him. Probably the main reason was that he did not want to appear weak in front of her. He was going to do both tonight.

As they got in the bed Rhett said, "Scarlett, it is a long time overdue, but I want to tell you that I am sorry for taking advantage of you not once but twice. I have always admired how you handled things both times. You had the courage and determination to do what you had to do to make sure that both your children had a name."

Scarlett stared at him with a completely stunned look on her face. She thought that was the first time in their entire relationship that he had ever actually said he was sorry. There were times when she knew he was sorry for what he had done but he had never uttered the words before.

When she didn't speak Rhett continued, "I am not sorry I blackmailed you into marrying me because if I hadn't you would never have given me the time of day. I have tried extremely hard to be a good husband to you for I want you to be happy."

Scarlett continued to stare at him without speaking. Rhett with an anxious expression on his face said, "Say something."

"Thank you for the apology. I know how much that cost you. You don't like to show weakness in any way."

"No, I don't," Rhett took a deep breath and continued, "I love you. I have loved you for so long. Probably since that day in the library but for sure since we danced together at the hospital bazaar. I was not a good person. A good person would not have taken advantage of the woman he loved at the Fire House. I probably am still not a good person, but I am a better person since you became my wife."

"Wow."

"My being judgmental of Mr. Wilkes for not stopping you from coming to Atlanta to sell yourself to me was pretty hypocritical of me when after I had taken advantage of you, I didn't even reassure you I would save Tara somehow someway. No, I sent you out into the afternoon telling you … that I hoped you found a man that could give you the money that day. That shame will be with me always. When those events happened, I had no compassion or empathy for anyone. The only person I cared about was myself. With my marriage to you and my desire to earn your love I have made myself care about what you want and what is best for you. I believe I loved you in the library, but that love was more lust than love. I now know what real love is all about," Rhett smiled. He continued, "That is why we are still living in Atlanta because you are not ready to leave. I am waiting for you to be ready. I will continue to sit here and wait until you are ready to leave. I now trust that you will know when you are ready to leave Atlanta. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you and our children happy."

Scarlett leaned forward and kissed Rhett. She said, "I am fonder of you than any other person besides our children."

He then kissed her like he had in the library and gave her physical proof of his love.

The next day as Rhett thought about his conversation with Scarlett the night before he was disappointed, she had not declared her love, but she also hadn't rebuffed him. She hadn't sneered at him and thrown his past misdeeds in his face. No, she had accepted his apology which in itself was amazing, and she had seemed happy that he had declared his love. She hadn't act triumphant either, so all was good. He would see in the next several months if she tried to use his love against him. He finally cheered himself up by thinking, 'You have so much more than you deserve.'