Would You Love Me if I was a Worm?
The first ball organized by the new Mrs. Darcy was the most anticipated event of the social season. After the wedding, the new couple went on a most deserved honeymoon in Scotland, where they enjoyed their new marital status in relative privacy, while also taking in the breathtaking views of the country. It was not the most conventional tour, but Darcy knew his new wife was anything but conventional, and knowing how fond she was of the countryside, he expected her to enjoy the trip immensely. He was right, as the first weeks of their marriage were spent visiting charming villages, and breathtaking woods in the wildest parts of Scotland. Darcy was in awe of his wife, and was getting used to discover new little quirks in her behavior with every passing day. He was loathe to go back into London society after weeks having Elizabeth all to himself. But they had to return, so Elizabeth could at last fit into her new role as Mistress of Pemberley.
After returning from Scotland, the couple spent a month in London, visiting acquaintances and attending social events. The ton was eager to know the new Mrs. Darcy, if only to understand how she managed to ensnare the elusive Mr. Darcy. It was a dauting task, but as Elizabeth once stated, her courage rose with the attempts of intimidation. Realizing soon that they could not bend the Mrs. Darcy into submission by snarky remarks and vitriol, the ton capitulated and conceded that yes, while Elizabeth Darcy had no money, dowry or connections to speak for, she was surely very pretty, charming and intelligent, and altogether not the worst choice for a bride. While Darcy was determined to face the scorn of the world for Elizabeth, he was most happy that his wife's charms captivated even the most insidious members of the ton. So, it was with enthusiasm and not apprehension that he received word that his wife promised Countess Matlock to host a Spring Ball in Pemberley.
Elizabeth, Jane, Georgiana and Countess Matlock spent weeks organizing the anticipated event, and while Lizzie appreciated their help, she was determined to oversee every important detail, from the choice of music, the dinner courses, the decorations and the housing of guests. In the week before the ball, Darcy rarely saw his wife, and when they met for meals, she seemed to be elsewhere, so they talked very little in those days. Nonetheless, Elizabeth's effort was rewarded: the ball was magnificent, as it was in the old days when Anne Darcy was Mistress of Pemberley. Seeing that everything was indeed perfect, Lizzie finally allowed herself to relax and enjoy the festivity, and Darcy took advantage of this. While Elizabeth was on great demand, he managed to secure not one, not two, but three dances from her. And he hoped that during those dances, they would talk, trying to make up for the last busy days where they seldom had time for it.
Darcy looked at his wife while he escorted her to their first dance of the evening, the opening dance. She was very lovely, wearing a golden silk gown – no doubt made from expensive fabric from her uncle's warehouse – and donning the Darcy's pearls, with her curls beautifully styled. He smiled at his beautiful wife, silently thanking pProvidence for the second chance he was granted with Elizabeth. As they started to dance, he opened the conversation:
"Finally, I can speak to my lovely wife. I was beginning to despair these last few days, when I could barely see you, much less have conversation."
Elizabeth laughed – the sweet laughter that Darcy loved so much – and answered:
"Mr. Darcy, surely you exaggerate. I was not absent, at least not as much as you suggest. We saw each other regularly for the meals, and occasionally in the parlor, entertaining guests."
"Yes, but it is hardly the same as talking to you in private. I missed our discussions, Elizabeth. Please, promise me you will never leave me in anguish like this ever again"
"Very well, Fitzwilliam, I promise. But pray tell me, now that you have me for youself, what do you wish to discuss?" Elizabeth asked, smiling. Her smile was so bright it rendered Darcy speechless for a second. He did not know what to speak of, so he answered truthfully:
"I don't know, dearest. You have always been the better conversationalist between us. What do you think we should discuss? I know you do not speak of books in a ballroom, so this is surely not an option."
"No, Mr. Darcy, indeed not. But if you wish me to suggest a topic, I just had an idea. Would you answer a question, my dear? Truthfully."
Darcy smiled, intrigued, and answered:
"Yes, of course. What do you wish to know, Elizabeth?"
Lizzie smirked, with a twinkle in her eyes. "Minx" thought Darcy "what are you playing at?"
"You love me very much, do you not?" Elizabeth asked. It was an easy question, and Darcy answered immediately:
"I do. I never loved anyone as fiercely as I love you. I don't think anyone ever loved anyone like I love you."
"And you loved me, despite my unfortunate circumstances…"
A tingle of pain passed through Darcy's features. "Think only of the past as it gives you pleasure" Elizabeth said once. He did not like to revisit his past behaviors towards the woman he loved above all else, so he answered in more somber tones:
"Elizabeth, I thought we agreed to leave my former grievances in the past. I was wrong then, and I am fully ashamed of being so proud and inconsiderate…"
Lizzie laughed, and said, in response:
"Dearest, I am not criticizing you. It is just something that has been on my mind."
"Very well, what is on your lovely mind, my dear?"
Elizabeth looked him in the eyes, frowning a bit, while she asked:
"Would you love me if I was a worm?"
To say that Fitzwilliam Darcy was surprised would be an underestimation. He was rendered speechless by the weird question. Darcy frowned, looking at Elizabeth quizzically:
"What? What is this nonsense, Elizabeth?"
She laughed, while twirling, before returning to her previous position facing him:
"Well, it is a game I play sometimes. I try to think of different scenarios, no matter how absurd, and try to picture how people would behave in such situations. You see, it is an exercise that helps greatly with my character sketching. But I don't think I can answer this particular question by myself, as I am the object of the question. So, it must be you."
She smiled once again, and looked at him. Darcy realized she was waiting for his answer, but he had none to offer, so he said with honesty:
"I don't know how to answer this question, Elizabeth."
"It is a simple question. Would you love me, if I was a worm? Just humor me, Fitzwilliam."
He sighed and closed his eyes for a second. Knowing very well how stubborn his wife was, Darcy was positive she would not rest until she got an answer for her strange question. He gathered his thoughts for a moment, before speaking:
"Very well, Elizabeth. I believe I would love you still. You are remarkably handsome, but it was not your appearance that endeared you to me. It was your intelligence and charms. Our conversations, your teasing manner, your laughter and your unconventional mind. Those were the things that made me fall for you, dearest. So, I suppose if we were worms… we would have such conversations in worm language – whatever that may be – and I would fall in love with you all the same. Maybe I would be proud and disagreeable, and you would reject my awful proposal. Then I would try to reform my character, and show you I could be a better man… or rather, a better worm. And in this situation, if Wickham – who is indeed very much a worm – did elope with your sister, I would chase him and make him do the right thing if only to keep any trace of sorrow out of your lovely worm face. So, you see, I think things would be very much the same…"
Elizabeth smiled, but it seemed she was not done with her strange choice of topic, for she spoke:
"Very well. But suppose you were not a worm, but a man. What if I was a lady worm, and you could somehow comprehend me – that is, if we could communicate with each other, you being a man and I a worm. Would you have loved me still?"
Fitzwilliam seemed to consider this for a moment, and then, looking at his wife and seeing her bright eyes shining with laughter and wittiness, he answered:
"Well, I acknowledge that I would be more hesitant to pursue you, but I am sure in the end my reservations would be no match for a charming worm like yourself…"
Elizabeth laughed once more, a rich and sweet sound, one that Fitzwilliam Darcy hoped he would hear until his death, and said:
"You are a flatterer, Fitzwilliam Darcy!"
"No, dear, I only speak as I find. You are altogether charming, and I am sure it would be no different no matter the circumstances. I love you, Elizabeth, no matter what shape or form" he said, smiling at his wife. He knew he was looking live a lovesick fool, but he could not help, nor he could care less. He was a lovesick fool, completely under Elizabeth's spell, and happy to be there. The dance ended, and he took his wife hand and gave it a lingering kiss, before he said:
"But, alas, I am very grateful you are not a worm, but a lovely woman, so I can dance with you."
"I thought you disliked dancing, Mr. Darcy."
"In the past, yes. But how could I loathe the activity now that I have such a wonderful partner?" they both laughed, only to be interrupted by Jane and Charles, who approached the smiling couple after the dance ended.
"You seem engrossed in your conversation" said Jane "May I enquire about the subject?"
"Of course, Jane" Lizzie answered smiling, never breaking contact with Darcy "We were just discussing the love life of worms."
Mr. Darcy laughed aloud, which make Jane and Charles look at the pair with quizzical looks, realizing that it was probably a jest they were not privy to.
"Well, that is an unconventional subject, even for you, Lizzie" Jane said, smiling.
"Dear sister, I know now that it was my quirkiness and unconventional mind that endeared me to Fitzwilliam, so I will not apologize for being such a strange creature" Lizzie said, with feigned indignance, which only made Jane smile broader:
"Very well, Lizzie, but I feel you are neglecting the other guests, so I came here to take you to make some rounds and join the ladies in conversation."
"Oh, no! This is not to be borne!" Lizzie said, mockingly "If Great Lady Catherine hears about this oversight, she will be severely displeased. She may even wish her nephew married a worm! Come, Jane, I shall put this to right immediately. Excuse us, gentlemen."
Darcy and Bingley stood, watching their ladies retreat, the first with a knowing smile in his face. Yes, Elizabeth was a strange creature, but there was no one else in the world Darcy wanted to share his life with. He shook his head laughing, and clapped Bingley on the shoulder:
"Come, Charles. Let us make our rounds too. Let not be said that the Master of Pemberley behaved badly in the first ball of the new Mistress".
xX Amaya Xx