There was nothing remarkable about the chocolates Draco had gotten him but the letter that came with it was not only surprisingly long for Harry, but also unbelievably deep and personal given who its writer was.

"Dear Harry,

To be honest, I really do not know how to write such a letter but saying a proper thank you for what you have done for us is the least I could do after you have made such differences to our Christmas and relationship. I suppose it would be hard for you to understand how big a difference Albus and you have made without knowing how a Malfoy Christmas was supposed to be like before Astoria's death and how Scorpius and I were virtual strangers last year.

Christmas day had always been one of Scorpius' favourite days of the year and even though we had been isolated from the public, Astoria always managed to make the holiday so perfect for us that we fancied ourselves the happiest family in the world. She was a particularly artistic witch that she always thoroughly decorated the Manor with the most gorgeous display of lights, ornaments, flowers, magical snow and most importantly, Christmas trees. We would have Christmas trees in the sitting room, the library, which has always been Scorpius' favourite room, and the dining room. Although she had always been physically weak, she was capable of completing the decoration for the entire Manor with a few spells within half an hour, but she would always leave the large Christmas tree in the sitting room bare, so she could decorate with Scorpius together. The two of them would spend hours putting up their favourite ornaments while giggling and sharing jokes the whole time a few days before Christmas.

Ever since our boy was born, she would buy him three presents herself and had me picked another present every Christmas, not because she was the kind of mother to spoil her child, it was more because of her knowledge that she would not be there for him long that she wanted to shower him with as much love as possible while she could. Also, it was her way to compensate him for not having enough relatives who would give him presents. Of course one of them would always be a book since we had learned how much of a bookworm the boy was, another of them would always be sweets, and there would be something else special. The few presents would be neatly tucked underneath the tree in the sitting room by Christmas morning. Since Scorpius' first year, there would be one more from Albus, another more from you two as well as one other present since the year after. Scorpius would excitedly wake us up before eight to open the presents together on Christmas morning, and no matter how tired she would be, she would insist to wake up early that day for her baby.

She was artistic in more than one sense of the word as she was also musically talented. She loved playing the piano but she could not have played as much as she had wanted due to her health. Christmas, however, was one occasion when she would always take at least an hour to play most of their favourite holiday songs, while both Scorpius and her would sing together to the music, they had all the lyrics memorised. When Scorpius had been younger, he would even sit right next to her in front of the piano. Although I am usually not a fan of music, I had never missed out on their annual concert while silently reading on the other side of the room. At night she would have other music played and force me on my feet so we could have our own little ball, dancing to our audience of one, our little boy.

While Astoria had many talents, cooking had never been a talent of hers. She had first baked what would later become her signature chocolate-cinnamon-almond Christmas cake on Scorpius' third Christmas and it tasted awful at the time, but what she lacked in talent, she made up with stubbornness and persistence. She had experimented for at least a dozen of times before perfecting her recipe by the next Christmas, when it immediately became Scorpius' favourite Christmas food. Since his sixth Christmas, Scorpius would act as her little assistant whenever she baked the cake and it would become another of their favourite holiday traditions.

These were only some of our many precious memories but I suppose I have already written way too much. Long story short, Scorpius and I associate Christmas with her in a million different ways, which ensures that the holiday will surely be a very difficult one to endure for years to come after her passing.

I do not know if you are aware about this but last year's Christmas at the Manor was a complete disaster. As you know, it was not long after her death so the pain was still acutely felt by the both of us then, to the point that Christmas felt almost not worth celebrating at all. In the days leading to Christmas, I gave our house-elves a few simple orders to decorate the whole Manor and to prepare a dinner with all of my son's favourite foods but other than that, I basically left them to their own devices. Scorpius either kept to himself in the library or his own room or silently staring into the distance a lot these days. I had tried to reach out to him a lot but whenever I had mentioned her, he would end up getting upset and start tearing up that three days into the holiday, I was totally at a loss for words since our conversation topics had always been scarce that I was basically afraid to talk with him. It was not until Christmas' Eve when I realised I had not even have a present picked out that I hastily went to Diagon Alley to get him something that evening.

Unlike the previous years, Scorpius did not wake me up but both of us had troubles sleeping that we were up before eight anyway. With a heavy heart, I slowly approached the sitting room, feeling anxious about what I would see when I enter, and for good reasons. I suspect the forlorn look my precious boy wore while inspecting the tastelessly decorated Christmas tree and later staring at his pitiable small pile of four presents would be ingrained in my head for the rest of my days. It was in that moment when I realised how much I had failed my family, my son for not doing more to cheer him up that I had not even gotten multiple presents like she would, and Astoria for not taking better care of her son. She had had so much faith that he would be okay because I would be there to comfort him in her place when the time came but instead I was a pathetic excuse for a father.

I entered the room and said, "Merry Christmas, Scorpius." He stared at me for a long time before finally returning the holiday greeting with an impassive look. There was so much I wanted to tell him but I simply could not get the words out to tell him that I was sorry, that I would always be there for him and that everything would be okay. I held out the one present which should not be left beneath the tree, a letter written by her in her final days, for him without saying a word. His eyes welled up with tears within seconds after realising what it was, before receiving the letter with trembling hands. I should have stayed in the room but I had already become way too overwhelmed that I left the room and left my boy to read the letter himself. I wanted to return after ten minutes but could not bring myself to enter when I reached the door as I heard him weep. He had curled up into a ball and somehow, he looked as small as a toddler to me but I was completely glued to the spot. I cowardly left without comforting him in any way.

For the rest of the day, both of us kept to ourselves except for two hours when I silently joined him to read in the library. I later learned that Scorpius had spent his whole morning and afternoon there and while he had reread her letter two times and had ended up tearing up again both times, it had been his best friend's five-page-long letter which had helped him gotten through the day the most. Predictably, dinner was another catastrophe in which both of us barely ate anything. I tried to ask if he was okay but could only get monosyllable words out of his mouth.

Although it broke my heart to learn of the boys' sufferings in Delphi's hands, I cannot pretend that I am not grateful of their adventures in some ways as for the first time in a long time, Scorpius trusted me and felt connected with me enough to share his feelings about these adventures, about his friendship with Albus and other things. Knowing how much he needed me emotionally, I was finally able to break down my barrier to force myself to be a comforter. After failing him so completely last Christmas and for the traumas they had endured, I promised myself to truly be there for Scorpius this Christmas.

I have gotten three presents for him two weeks in advance this year. At the beginning of the break, we spent a whole day at Diagon Alley together so he could pick up presents for his friends and he completely lost himself in Flourish and Blotts. I decorated most of the Manor with spells as it would have taken Scorpius too long without magic but let him add in his touches wherever he deemed necessary. I did not join Scorpius to decorate the tree in the sitting room myself but I sat nearby to offer suggestions and levitate ornaments for him.

Things were looking good on the day before Christmas but I was still terrified by the thought of spending so many hours with him on Christmas day. Her death had coloured all those enchanting memories grey that I was sure he would get upset if we try to replicate our earlier Christmases but it would be disrespectful and wrong to honour none of our previous holiday traditions. I was tempted to get away for the whole break but as much as it would hurt, we needed to stay close to our home in order to feel close to her. The memories might be painful but they needed to be kept alive. I did suggest a trip away after the actual day and he looked reasonably pleased about it but I honestly had no idea how we would be able to get through the day. Therefore, words are inadequate to describe how relieved I have felt to receive your letter.

Scorpius had been in a lovely mood that day, which had already been a big step up from the misery of last year, but he was absolutely ecstatic when I read your letter out loud to him that he squealed in delight. I believe he had said nothing else for half an hour except that one sentence he had written then "Oh Merlin, I'm SO excited that Albus is coming for Christmas!" which of course I did not mind in the slightest as Albus would be and had already been the perfect distraction the boy needed to get through the holiday. I ordered the house-elves to prepare a more elaborate breakfast instead of lunch and to incorporate food that Albus likes according to Scorpius. For the rest of the night, my son excitedly talked about everything he wanted to do with Albus on Christmas day that I felt hopeful that the day would turn out to be good and happy, a Christmas Scorpius deserved after everything he had been through. Still, I could not sleep well and woke up before six.

I have briefly considered staying in my room in case Scorpius wanted to wake me up like before but I could not be sure when he would wake and what he would do. I could not wake him up myself as I wanted to let him sleep as much as he wanted so I ended up waiting early at the sitting room to make sure that I would be there when he opened his presents this year. I had placed my presents for him under the tree the previous night but I did not want to look at the pile before Scorpius had entered. When he appeared ten minutes later, he greeted me cheerfully but pretended to look annoyed for having knocked on my empty door for three minutes. I was just thinking the day was off to a nice start when he turned towards his pile of presents and froze. I had three presents for him but had not expected more people to get him presents so we were both expecting around six presents. Of course I could afford a hundred presents but I knew that after three, additional presents from me would lose all meanings for him.

I was stunned to see almost a dozen presents in his pile when I checked it out myself. He did not react for a long time, until he finally turned to ask me if I had gotten him seven or so presents with a nervous laugh, to which I told him I have only gotten three like she would. He turned back then sat next to the pile and slowly started inspecting them one by one with the dumbfounded expression still in place. He treated them with reverence as if they were so much more than presents, by taking his time to study the wrappings, read the greeting cards before carefully picking at the edges of the wrapping paper. With each present, he somehow got more and more giggly that I did not even mind seeing a toy ferret of all things from Weasley's present, despite my involuntary overreaction.

Of course you are aware that Albus' visit was a whirlwind of excitement to the Manor that I have not seen my son as happy for ages. After your departure, we had a light lunch where he excitedly told me about everything they had done. Then we spent a few quiet hours in the sitting room where he read, tried to play the piano and played with his toy rat and ferret. Those toy animals cheered him up so much that I am seriously considering getting him another pet other than his owl. A real ferret will definitely be out of the question though.

The illusion of a perfect Christmas kept up until the end of dinner, which was again much more pleasant than last year's meal, when Scorpius retreated to the library himself. I had an inkling about what I would see when I joined him in the room later but this did not make it any easier. The boy was sitting by the fireplace on her usual armchair with her favourite blanket wrapped around his slim body while reading her letter from last Christmas. I could immediately tell from the way his shoulders were shaking that he was crying, all the way from the opposite side of the room. He seemed oblivious to my presence the whole time I was walking towards him but the moment I reached him, he immediately raised his head to look straight into my eyes with his own bloodshot and shiny eyes and told me he missed her. This was the second time he had ever cried into my arms but his first time confessing how much he missed her.

I am pretty sure that you have heard the way he has exclaimed "This is the best Christmas ever!". He has said that no less than thirty times that day but deep down, both of us knew well that he has been lying. It could be his way of trying to talk himself into believing that it was true or he was trying hard to pretend to be having the best time for my and Albus' sake but her absence had been deeply felt the whole day, even during his snowball fight with Albus. That said, he did acknowledge that he truly had a great time that it was the best Christmas possible for him and part of the reason he cried was because he was moved to tears by all the kindness he had received from stranger and his best friend alike. It may sound like Albus' visit did not make that much a difference but I can assure you that it made all the difference. Without his visit, Scorpius likely could not even have felt an illusion of happiness. I suspect that we would have spent the whole day sitting around reading and having small talks but he would certainly keep his emotions to himself in fear of upsetting me. Having so much excitement on the day allowed him to release his deeper emotions and for us to truly talk about her for the first time since her death, for that I am extremely grateful. Although we will continue to miss her for a long time, it is easier to talk about her to reminisce about the good memories together than to suffer alone.

I had spent a lot of time in France with Astoria from our engagement to the early days of our marriage because we could feel comfortable to be ourselves there without being recognised by everyone for my past. We loved southern France the most as I preferred less-crowded places and its weather suited her better. Scorpius had been to France quite a few times but things had changed substantially since his birth that as nice as those later trips had been, they had simply been not the same. He did not know too much about all the precious memories we had had there and I had suggested the destination of our holiday trip in hope that we would be able to fondly talk about her. Even though she had always lived with her curse, she had never let it define her in her youth that she had actually been lively, adventurous to an extent and fun-loving as a young adult. With her powerful magic, no one would have dared to underestimate her before the curse had taken its toll. I wanted him to get to know this side of her that he had been unfamiliar with.

For the most part, the trip and our talks were pretty much what I had expected as we visited many of the places which held special memories for us and stayed at the villa I had bought for her years ago. I had not realised how much I had craved talking about her but it felt as if something had been unlocked that words just spilled out of my mouth that I could not talk enough about her. I had expected to talk with him about all those memories from our carefree days before his birth, but it was also nice how he became willing to share both his happier and sadder memories in school. I know I have not said this enough but I owe your son so much, especially for defending Scorpius from bullies from the very beginning and just being there for him the previous year when he had been most miserable. My boy has mentioned no less than ten times over the trip that Albus was pretty much the only reason he survived Hogwarts in his darkest days. He loved talking to his best friend so much that he seemed determined to make up for all the conversations he missed by writing all the times. I could talk with him all I wanted on the day when we were out, but as soon as we returned to the villa, he would start writing letters and would end up writing three to four pages every day. On top of writing letters and reading books, he also spent a surprising amount of time playing with his toy animals there as if they were truly alive. When I tried to get him to spend some indoor time with me, he encouraged me to write like him instead, which was actually the biggest reason I have started writing this letter at the first place.

It is also kind of heart-warming but bittersweet that he has been worried about me since her passing. He knows how crucial Albus' comfort had been for him to cope with his grief so he had been worried that I had been lonely with nobody to talk to all these times. I am willing to bet that of all people, Scorpius was the happiest to find out that you had accepted my offer from thirty years ago that day. This has also been helpful as before now, I had almost nothing to talk about with my son except Astoria and to ask how he was doing in school. He requested to know every single detail about our conversation on Christmas day and I hope you would not mind that I have mentioned to him that you will try to introduce Teddy to him. He has been extremely excited and has even screamed something about Christmas tree, which I hope you will be able to enlighten me about.

It probably has not been too appropriate for me to unload all of my personal burdens, which had been weighing on my mind for quite some time, on you as we are not that close, but it turned out that Scorpius had been right that I do need to talk or write to someone about this. I think I can understand now why he always talks or writes to Albus about everything. I do not even know if I will be able to give this out but thank you again for what you have done for us, and if you are reading the end here, thank you for taking the time to read this. I suppose it is not the same as having someone there to listen to you saying all you would like to say, but just the writing in itself has been unexpectedly helpful for me. Please do not feel obliged to reply and since I owe you a huge favour, please let me know if you ever need something from me.

Yours sincerely,

Draco Malfoy"

A/N: First of all, thank you so much for everyone who has commented last chapter, your comments made me so happy and it has been lovely to chat with you. I am really regretting not replying reviews before because I feel like I have been missing out on a lot. I hope that those of you who have reviewed will review again and other readers, both old and new, will give this a try as I would love the opportunity to chat with more of you.

Anyway, sorry for the delay again, I have been very busy lately and I wanted to post this whole letter in one chapter as some emotional impact would be lost if I split it up, so the chapter itself is about 1k words longer than my usual chapters. Also, this has been quite a tricky chapter to write because I feared that if I don't get the tone and content right, Draco may appear OOC to some of you so I wanted to avoid that at all costs.

What I see happening here is that Draco had a terrible time after Astoria's death with no one to comfort him and to talk to but since his childhood, he had always learned to hide his feelings that it had felt ok for him despite being lonely, missing her and worrying about Scorpius so much. I believe he had only ever revealed his emotions and feelings to Astoria but then he found an unlikely friend in Harry in CC and over Christmas here. As stated, he had started writing about her as he believed Harry wouldn't even understand how important Albus' visit had been without context. He had meant to write just a little about her but once he had started, a floodgate was opened and before he knew it, he had started pouring out all those memories, thoughts and emotions because they had been bottling up for so long. (also he was stuck at the holiday home every night where his son would spend all his time writing/ reading) He probably felt like he shouldn't be writing all of that even during his writing process but he just couldn't stop by now, not to mention there was a small part of him that actually yearned to share his past with a friend, something he had never had until now. Also, he had not felt comfortable requesting Harry to send Albus back the following Christmases but was secretly hoping that by being honest about how big a difference Al had made to his family, Harry would volunteer to do that again. But I imagine that even though he was finally relieving all of his emotional burden here, he's not the kind of person to write too sentimentally that the narrative has to be straightforward without revealing too much of his emotions.