Zoro's Bath

Gunshots rang through the air. Swords clanked together. Voices screamed out as the battle raged on.

Neo took a second to glance around. She, her crew, and the Straw Hats had gotten separated in this little skirmish, but she knew they were still close. With the bodies flying in the air, large hands protruding from the trees, and lightning coming down it was obvious everyone else was doing fine on their own. She brought her attention back to the pirates surrounding her.

They chuckled as one said, "That's it. Now we've got you. You're coming with us."

"And to make sure you cooperate with us." One of the pirates stuck his hand into his pocket.

Weakness rolled over Neo's body when he pulled his hand out. Her knees buckled. She bit back a growl. They just had to have a pollution stone with them.

"I really have to thank Doflamingo and the navy for revealing this little weakness of yours to the world. It makes capturing you kind so easy."

Neo's lips twitched into a smile. "You've forgotten one…very important thing."

"And what's that?"

"I'm not alone."

"How dare you treat a lady like that?!" Sanji screamed. Flying through the air he landed multiple kicks on the pirates. Landing on his feet he puffed on his cigarette then picked up the pollution stone and threw it as far away as possible. "No one hurts my little fairy and gets away with it."

"Ve zorry." The pirates' faces puffed out with bruises and fat lips.

"Not as sorry as you're going to be." A blue film spread out around them. "Room. Shambles."

Neo drew in a relaxing breath as Law swiped his sword through the air. The pirates screamed as they were divided up then dropped into the ocean near their ship.

"You okay?" Sanji offered a hand.

"Yeah. I think so." Neo took his hand and let him help her to her feet.

Law walked over to her, eyeing her.

"I'm fine." Neo took his hand and squeezed it.

Law nodded and squeezed back.

"Yeow! That was super fun!" Franky said as he and the others made their way over to them.

"Fun? I'm all sweaty now." Nami looked down at herself. "I need a shower."

"Neo, did you get hurt?" Chopper ran over to the elemental and leapt into her arms.

"No, I'm okay." Neo caught him. "They did have a pollution stone but Sanji arrived in time to get rid of it."

"I'm so glad!" Chopper smiled.

The pirates made their way back to the beach where they docked their ships. Kailen and Topaz, who was holding Cora, was standing on the beach when they arrived.

"Mama." Cora wiggled his arms.

"How did he do?" Neo took their son from Topaz.

"He was a little fussy," Topaz said. "But Uncle Kailen managed to distract him enough."

"Thanks for watching him," Neo said.

"Any time. You know that." Kailen ruffled his sister's hair.

The pirates scattered. Some headed into the ships to clean up from their battle while others sat around to relax from the fight. Neo settled with Cora on a blanket with his toys.

"I feel so much better!" Nami sat down in a chair, freshly showered with clean clothes. The wind shifted, bring a cool breeze off the ocean. "Ugh! What's that smell?"

Neo sniffed the air. It was tainted with the smell of body odor. And it was coming from Zoro.

"Zoro, go take a shower," Nami said.

"What? No way." Zoro kept his eyes closed as he lounged on the ground.

"Yucky!" Cora shook his rattle the tossed it, hitting Zoro on his forehead.

"Hey!" Zoro snapped. "Don't throw things at me!"

Giggling, Cora tossed another toy at the swordsman. "Yucky!"

"Cora, be nice," Neo said.

"Cora, keep hitting him," Law said.

Neo smacked him on the stomach. "Law!"

Luffy laughed. "I think Cora thinks you stink!"

"Shut up! I do not stink! I already took a bath this week!"

"One bath a week doesn't do any good!" Nami growled. "You seriously stink! Take a bath!"

Zoro closed his eyes and started snoring.

"Don't ignore me!" Nami growled.

A few days later…

"I'm telling you to take bath!" Nami shouted.

"And I'm telling you no! So stop bothering me!" Zoro stood toe to toe with the navigator.

"I can't believe they've been arguing about this for four days," Brook said.

"True. But I agree with Nami. Zoro stinks. He needs to take a bath," Usopp said. "Neo, can't you dunk him in the ocean?"

"I don't think that would do him any good," Neo said.

"Well, someone's got to do something. And you're the best for that," Usopp said.

"That maybe true, but I can't force him to take a bath," Neo said.

"Please, Neo." Chopper grabbed onto her leg. "His body odor is killing my nose."

Neo patted the reindeer's head. He had a cloth tied around his nose. "Sorry. You know you all could bath him yourselves."

"Huh?" The Straw Hats looked at her, except for Sanji and Luffy. The cook was cooking while trying to keep Luffy away from the food. Robin was reading a book under an umbrella while Franky was playing cards with some Heart Pirates.

Neo glanced at Law and Cora. They both were stretched out on a blanket taking a nap. "Well, you all are strong enough to hold him down. All you have to do is get his swords away from him. Or make sure he doesn't touch them."

The Straw Hats exchanged glances before rushing to the Sunny. A few minutes later they came back with mops, rags, buckets of water and soap.

"Uh." Neo watched them slip over to Nami and Zoro, who were still arguing. She walked over to the blanket and sat down.

"Something wrong?" Law opened an eye.

"I'm not sure. I gave the Straw Hats the idea of bathing Zoro. I think they're about to ambush-" Before Neo could get her words out the Straw Hats pounced on Zoro. Shouts and curses flew threw the air as they bombarded the swordsman with their tools and threw his swords from his reach. Neo placed her hands over Cora's ears as Zoro spat out some very unhealthy words and threats he was going to carry out on the crew.

A while later Zoro's bath had been completed. The Straw Hats who carried out the bath hid behind Neo. She glanced back at them. "Um, what are you all doing?"
"Nothing. Don't mind us," Usopp said. "It's not like we're hiding behind you because we know it's the only way Zoro won't kill us."

"Yeah, yeah." Brook nodded.

"I think next time I'm going to remain quiet," Neo said.

"Please, don't. Zoro smells a lot better now," Nami said.

"You idiots." Zoro's eyes burned. "Sleep very, very lightly because I am going to kill you all."

"Still worth it now that you smell better," Nami said.

Zoro growled, holding out his swords.

"Nami! Shut! Up!" Usopp, Brook, and Chopper screeched.

…

Author's Notes: Well, it's been a while since I've had an idea for this. I'm thinking about doing a "What if" arc where Neo and Law go to Whole Cake Island to help get Sanji back.