Disclaimer: I own nothing in regard to GWTW
Author's Notes: Thank you for all the many reviews and the feedback.
Chapter Forty-Five
Wade had already known that he was Dad's biological son. He had started to suspect when Mother told that outlandish story about her and Dad marrying the day the war started. Next, he noticed that he and Dad had the same body type. When he saw Ella and Gabriel together, they looked so much alike that they had to be full siblings. The final clue was after Dad's family had passed away, he had hung a picture of his mother, Aunt Rosemary and the family on the wall in his office. The picture that was taken their last time in Charleston. Dad had been telling stories of his mother and his sister and Wade had studied the picture. When he had really looked at it, he realized that he and his siblings had the same smile. Then he noticed that he and Ella had the same smile as Grandma. That is when all the pieces fell into place. His eye color was the same as Dad's. He physically resembled Dad. He remembered Ella's hair being the same color as Grandma's and Aunt Rosemary. That is when he knew.
Wade had just wanted confirmation. That was why he had confronted Dad. Wade had wanted to shame his father. He had also wanted to hear how his father justified what he had done but his father hadn't tried to justify it. He had admitted that it was an awful thing he had done and there was no excuse for his actions.
Wade smiled when he remembered the lecture Dad had given him when he was seventeen. Wade had been embarrassed at the time to be talking about such a thing with his father. Dad had said, "It is alright to go after what you want but always be careful not to destroy someone else in the process. If your sexual desire is that strong go visit a whore but never ever force yourself on a young lady or trick a young lady into having relations with you. You can control yourself. You are not an animal without any self-control."
Wade knew how it had happened. His father had seduced his mother and had relations with her. With the age difference between his parents, Wade knew his sixteen-year-old, innocent mother would be easy pickings for his suave, sophisticated, worldly father. Wade hadn't needed all the details. Wade hadn't wanted all the details. He would let his mother keep her dignity and her secrets.
Wade knew his mother had married Charles Hamilton so Wade would not be a bastard. Wade was proud of her for marrying another man so quickly. He sometimes wondered if what his mother did was fair to this Charles Hamilton, and he decided that in truth it wasn't. Yet Wade knew that his mother had done what she had to do in the circumstances, and she always would. Wade knew this Charles Hamilton was crazy in love with his mother because his Aunt Melly had told him so several times. His Aunt Melly had said that she thought her brother's proudest moment was on his wedding day. Wade decided that Charles Hamilton had died happy.
Wade was always fine with Dad being his biological father. For Dad really was a great father. He was so much better than his friends' fathers. The part he had trouble accepting was that his father had been such an amoral man that he had taken advantage of a young woman twice while telling himself he loved the woman. Part of what made it hard for Wade to accept was the difference between who his father had been and who his father was now. His father never pretended to be a highly moral man, but Wade did know that his father was an ethical man now.
Rhett knew Wade was struggling with completely forgiving him for his actions towards his mother. He also knew that he could not help the boy with the process. Rhett, himself, was struggling with behaving normally around the boy. Every time he was around the boy, he felt such shame and humiliation but that certainly wasn't the boy's fault. Rhett knew that he had received another miracle. He had again received forgiveness that he didn't deserve.
One day Mammy came up to Wade and said, "You are going to the park with me and your brothers this afternoon."
"I don't want to go to the park with you Mammy."
"I don't believe I was asking Mr. Wade."
"In that case, I would love to go to the park with you and my brothers."
After they got to the park and the boys had gone off to play, Mammy said, "I always wondered if you would figure it out. You are the only one with enough clues to figure it out."
With a shocked expression Wade said, "Figure what out."
"We don't have time for you to pretend. When your parents got married, I hated your father. He was an arrogant, prideful, unethical man. You would not recognize him as the same man he is today. As soon as your parents said, 'I do' he started changing. He immediately loved you and Ella, and you and Ella immediately loved him. I know what changed him. He never wanted to lose that love. Before your parents' marriage he didn't care how many people got hurt or what people thought of him as long as he got what he wanted. It didn't happen overnight, but he slowly became a better person. At first for you and Ella and then because he felt he needed to give your mother a reason to love him. I didn't want to forgive him for what he had done but I finally saw how much he loved your mother and how much he loved his children. I made myself forgive him and never let myself think of it again."
"How did you make yourself forgive him?"
"By telling myself that if I want people to forgive me for my mistakes then I have to forgive others for their mistakes."
"Your mistakes aren't this bad."
"How do you know? Do you know all my sins? There are things that I have done that to this day I am ashamed that I did. I never asked her for forgiveness, so I was never given forgiveness. My guilt just continues. I hope I see her on the other side, and I can ask for forgiveness then."
"Who, Mammy?'
"It doesn't matter who. I'm just telling you because nobody is perfect. This is part of becoming an adult realizing that there is good and bad in all of us. Your mother married a man just to give you a name. Not her finest moment. Your mother's father got a man drunk so he could cheat him out of his slave and his plantation, but you only knew him as your loving Grandpa."
"I just can't accept my father would do what he did."
"That's your problem. You are trying to make your image of your father fit with what an amoral man did. It never will fit because your father would never do something like that now."
Wade stared at Mammy for a long time without speaking. Finally, Wade said, "That is the problem. The man that is my father today would never do something like that."
"Exactly. Now run along on home. I'm tired of talking. This is my quiet time."
Wade laughed and hugged Mammy. He did walk back to the house.
Over the next several weeks Wade worked at forgiving his father for what he had done to his mother. Three things helped Wade forgive his father. Wade had already had a while to get used to the idea, how much his mother loved his father, and the fact that his father truly wasn't that man anymore.
Wade smiled maybe there was a fourth reason Wade had already done some less than stellar things in his life, like cheat on an exam and tell his friend that the girl he liked didn't like him because Wade wanted to call on her himself. Yes, he would forgive and hope to be forgiven for his misdeeds. With the determination that Wade had inherited from both his parents he did forgive his father and move on with his life.
In the fall Wade had gone to the University of Sydney to study and he knew he would be attending school for the next four years.
A year later Wade walked into the parlor. His mother was looking at some pictures. They were family pictures. Wade had sat down and said, "Who are these people? I recognize you, Dad, me, Ella, Genie, and Paddy but I don't know the other people."
"It is my sister, Suellen, and her family. She has two more children now. Both boys. Will, her husband, is so happy."
"Oh yes. I remember them now. That house looks familiar. Where is it?"
"They were taken at our family plantation. Sue took over the managing of it after the war. With the profits we were able to buy three gins and she even opened up a textile mill. She is quite the entrepreneur which is always funny to me. I never thought she was that smart, but she was. The other thing that is funny is when we were growing up, she wasn't a very likeable person, but she has a real talent for managing people," His mother smiled and said, "While all the time behaving like one of the finest ladies in the South. Although the people in the county have still not completely forgiven her for trying to get money by getting Pa to sign an oath that said he had always supported the union. It was thousands of dollars. We needed that money." She was quiet for a while then with a lot of bitterness she said, "The people of the South never forget anything one has done that they don't approve of."
Wade changed the subject and said, "I remember that place. Tara? Wasn't it?"
"Yes."
"Do you still own half of it?"
"Not as of yesterday. I agreed to let Suellen buy me out of the O'Hara enterprises. She gave me a very nice price."
"You did? That surprises me."
"It was time. We have been happy here for the last six years. I am never going back to Georgia. I wouldn't even go back to Georgia to bury Mammy. Of course, that woman will probably out live me," His mother had shaken her head then she continued, "Suellen wants to be sole owner so her children can inherit everything. I signed the papers yesterday and put them in the mail."
"Is that why you are looking at these pictures?"
"Yes."
Wade waited for his mother to go on. Finally, she said, "I had a perfect childhood. I was loved and adored by my parents. I was the belle of five counties when I was sixteen. I had expected to live the rest of my life on a plantation having an incredibly good life. The war came and destroyed that life. The boys of the county went off to war and most of them didn't come back. Those that did were never the same. In truth, none of us were the same."
His mother was quiet again and Wade knew she was lost in her memories.
Wade saw a picture of what he assumed was him. He picked up the picture and said, "Is this me?"
"Yes."
"How old was I?"
"One."
"I was a cocky man even then."
His mother smiled and said, "Yes, you were."
Wade looked at the other pictures on the table and he picked up a picture of his mother and what he assumed where her parents and her sisters. He said, "Did you have another sister?"
"My baby sister, Careen. She died from a Cholera outbreak in Charleston about two years ago. The same one that killed your father's entire family. Yet, I had lost her long before that when she entered the convent. She stopped being Careen and started being Sister Mary Joseph or something stupid like that."
Wade had laughed. He sat there with his mother and listened while she told stories from when she was a girl. Wade was fascinated by the stories for she rarely talked about her childhood. As he listened to the stories, he also knew that she had been loved and adored. Wade thought, 'Yes, we all were lucky that she knew how to give love and receive love.'
He also knew why his mother rarely talked about it. Although all the stories were happy stories there was a melancholic tone to her voice.
Wade knew that of all her children he was probably the one his mother was closest to. She loved them all, but she and Wade had grown up together, survived the war together, survived the aftermath of the war together, they had gone through the process of trusting in the future once again together, and he knew all her secrets. Not that she knew he knew all her secrets.
After a while they heard a commotion in the foyer. His mother smiled and said, "It sounds like your father and your brothers and sisters are home. Let us go join them."
Wade smiled and said, "Yes, let us."
He was talking to thin air for his mother had already left the parlor. Wade watched as his mother hurried into the foyer. She was hurrying like she was afraid her true love was going to disappear if she didn't get there in time. Wade looked at his dad's expression when he saw his mother and his love was written all over his face. Wade laughed. Even amidst all the noise and chaos going on in the foyer they only had eyes for each other. His dad kissed his mother in front of everyone even though it was very improper. Nobody even seemed to notice. Wade smiled as he looked at his parents. They definitely were a couple that was meant to be.
The spell was broken when Paddy said, "Look, Mother! I caught the most fish."
Mother laughed and said, "I'm so proud of you. Everyone, take your fish to the kitchen before they stink up my entire house. Take them to Vera. I guess we are going to have fried fish for supper. Rhett, why did you let them bring the fish into the foyer."
Mother had not waited for a reply but had shooed her children outside to walk around the house to the back door.
Dad had smiled and said, "I will take Gabriel to Mammy so she can lay him down for a nap."
Mother had smiled and said, "Not just his nap but hers too."
They had smiled at each other. Wade looked at his parents and despite everything that had happened the end result was good and true. Finally, Wade forgave his father of all his past sins.