Hi yall! Here we are with the next chapter :)!
Some quick notes:
1) Ppl who read version 1, this'll look more like the classic chapter 6. Didn't require as much change wahahaha.
2) Sorry for the delay! School and I did a lot of thinking over how to make this chapter work. It worked out I hope! And I'm still aiming to get these out once a month, because if I say twice a month it might delay it me hahaha. Anyways if you're ever curious about the status go on and check my profile!
3) 11559 words :).
Now enjoy!
On day 6, Kyuubi finally felt truly optimistic.
Finally! Up again in the 7th floor sitting, really meeting, room! Kyuubi let Naruto walk in first as he checked to make sure no one was around before following him in.
"I got it!" Kyuubi shouted as soon as he shut the door. "Something so good that even someone as picky and complicated as you can't reject it."
Naruto turned back towards him, mouth opening and closing a few times before he said, "I thought we were going to discuss this!"
"We are discussing it. I got the PERFECT idea and I think you'll like it!" Kyuubi almost bounced in place, but caught himself and kept his excitement-shakes contained to the light bounce of his hands behind his back and wag of his tail.
"Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Naruto's backsass was dripping from his tone. He was looking less than pleased as he plopped down onto one of the chairs and leaned forward. "I'm listening but I haven't agreed yet."
"You're going to get caught pulling a prank."
"Get caught? Doing the one thing that made you impressed?" Naruto crossed his arms with a thoughtful look on his face. "Y'know my dad barked at me a few times for getting caught 'too early', but I don't think he explained it to me why that's such a bad thing. So how's that gonna make your dad think I'm not right for you?"
Kyuubi scoffed at Minato's incompetence. How can he not teach Naruto one of the divine elements of their species? How could a family with even one fox inadequately prepare one of their own?
"Pulling a good trick is how we make the world turn. And it's not just what we ourselves pull to get a good laugh, it's witnessing the genius of others too. The thrill of a dangerous trick pulled off just right! As if it's above even our power to do so and so when it works it's as if a miracle was pulled off!"
And anyone so witless and poor-hearted as to fall victim to a prank is one who deserves it coming to them! Pranks up a dying heart like a bird's song ups the morning! Oh are you crying? Growling? Sleeping or dying?! Witness someone get the jump on them! Their misfortune becomes much needed entertainment! Their bad luck results from a clever mind! Is there anything as inspiring? Just try and recount anything that matches that feeling." He could go on and on about it. It was like being tickled to right before it hurts. It was like someone covering your eyes and when they pull away, you see you are about to go tumbling down a grassy hill. It was the reason why foxes smiled when they had absolutely nothing to smile about. That feeling feeds the soul.
It's only natural that a kitsune must chase it on a regular basis.
"But of course every powerful, positive feeling, has an equally powerful but negative feeling. There is nothing quite like the outrage of a prank that failed." Kyuubi looked down and lowered his ears at the thought. It's like waiting for a punchline that never comes, or pitting a unique joke with a stale punchline, or using a punchline that was purely offensive and not at all humorous. He has almost been driven to murder seeing someone fuck up what could've been a perfect prank.
"Right something that doesn't make an impact or makes people run around like their heads have been cut off!"
"Those are a few definitions sure." Popular definitions at that and he didn't disagree.
There's nothing official about what makes a prank good or bad—because you don't add order to chaos. It's just all kitsune have their own opinions and some opinions are widely popular and some are catered to specific tastes. It's generally agreed that respect is garnered based on who the target—and even better, targets—are, the creativity of the trick itself, the amount of panic caused, and how long one gets away with it. A few kitsune—Kyuubi included—enjoy a prank more, the higher the danger level and risk involved. Others—like his father—were more old and boring and so liked a prank that taught a lesson to all who witnessed it.
It's the same regarding how a prank can fail. Scoring low on all of the above points is a pretty obvious way to go about it, but many, many kitsune would silently add the 'unforgivably offensive line' to the scale between bad and, well, you'll die. Kitsune don't usually vocalize what that line is for them, so it's best to get to know a kitsune first before pulling a prank against them.
It is what it is and has always been.
"But another useful and widely popular opinion on pranks, including in this very compound, is the trickster needs to be in control of how they get caught."
"Yea, my dad cares about that too." Naruto nodded. He wasn't going to say Minato is 'right' because his tongue does not know how to form that sentence.
"Well it's been so since the very first kitsune. Getting caught before or immediately after pulling off the prank is a sign of sheer ineptitude or arrogance."
Naruto pouted and grumbled something under his breath.
"What was that?"
"I said, what if you get caught on purpose?"
"Well then you get caught on purpose, which you are today! You're gonna mess up and mess up bad." After all, targeting the Head of the Kitsune Clan and screwing that up? Oooo he's getting chills just thinking about it! And it's his plan!
"Okay so I pull off a prank wrong…then what? Is he gonna hate me?"
"No no no, he'll just conclude that your mischief levels aren't up to standard and you'll be TAT! Outta here. And if you care that much about impressing him, I'll let him know after the fact what you did at dinner," Kyuubi threw in at the end just in case it mattered since Naruto seemed highly sensitive to his father's opinion.
Naruto bit his lip, but then he nodded. "Okay…So I gotta come up with a prank that's pretty big and make it believable to get caught—"
"I got that too. You're going to get caught messing up his library. But not actually destroy it!" Kyuubi quickly added as an afterthought. That was the unforgivably offensive line for his father. "You're just gonna take books off the shelves and leave them on the floor. I'll go get my father and bring him by and instead of running away and letting him fret, you're going to stay in the room and he'll see you in the act."
"…That's it? Don't you think it's a little too easy?"
"Of course it is! That's the point. It's so easy you can't mess this up."
"My job is to mess it up! I'm getting mixed directions here!"
"Don't be a dumbass you know what I mean!" Kyuubi pointed out. Naruto had the gall to roll his eyes at him!
"I'm just saying I have years of tricks under my belt! What's putting a few books on the ground going to do to annoy him even if I did succeed?"
…That was a valid question actually. Messiness wouldn't annoy him or even most youkai he knew, and not just because he could always get it cleaned up by someone else if he really wanted. Even his guest has walked around looking a little asymmetrical at times, so yes it's understandable that this trick would be underestimated.
But his father was built different. He was neat and orderly to almost insane levels. Not a hair or piece of clothing out of place, ever. And he placed just a much worth on the clean state of his personal spaces like his office, his bedroom, etcetera, etcetera! And two doors down from his office, was the one room he valued more than any other room in the compound; his personal library.
A sea of books lined the admittedly small room. His father cared about that room so much, that even he couldn't go in there unless his father was standing there, watching him, reminding him over and over again to put any book he read back in the correct place.
Naruto has to have noticed that quirk by now. He's seen his office!
"Well it suuuuuure would make it hard for him to find anything without help!" Kyuubi responded, lips quirking up into a little grin. When Naruto didn't immediately grin back and nod his head with enthusiastic agreement, he frowned.
"Don't tell me you're not doing this."
Naruto opened his mouth. "Y'know it's not bad! And I don't mind! But you didn't ask what I thought of—again. What if I can think of something really-"
"What can be better?! This plan here is the best it's going to get! It's personal, it's—"
"Too easy! Y'know your dad's a stubborn guy and he's got some serious investment in us! Are you sure this failure of a prank is going to get some results?"
Naruto is so damn difficult, he thought for the umpteenth time. Kyuubi stewed and started to pace. He's gotta think up everything doesn't he? The plan, the fall out, how to get Naruto to do the plan... How exhausting! He got the perfect intended, someone who didn't want to be his intended. And what else should happen but that intended be incompetent. There's always some kind of setback.
But as thin as his patience was, Naruto wasn't in the kind of position where Kyuubi could use violence or anger to get his way. He was, by and large, still an important stranger and if he wasn't listening to direct commands as he should given their vastly different rankings, then Kyuubi would place his bets on further rebellion just based off of their arguing. Desperate times call for clever measures. He stopped, face lighting up with a brilliant idea. A certain promise should come in handy here.
He faced Naruto. "Could you just mess up the library? Just do it…" Kyuubi smiled his most handsome smile, the one he made when he wanted something. "For me?"
Naruto looked surprised. A dusting of heat bloomed on his cheeks and Kyuubi finally heard what he needed to hear. "Fine." It was quiet but oh so beautiful.
"Excellent. Let's go."
Behind him he heard Naruto muttering under his breath, "that worked? How the hell did that work? Why am I doing this?"
Because he's Kitsune Kurama. And one way or another, he's always been good at making a situation turn out in his favor. That's why.
In hindsight, he should've wasted a few minutes and stuck around a little longer, just to make sure Naruto did exactly what he was supposed to do. Naruto was pouting going into the library and a piss-poor attitude never installs much confidence. All he needed to do was put the books on the floor without destroying the library. Again, a trick as easy as bagging sand so that Naruto couldn't make any mistakes, including accidentally successfully pulling it off.
But was his way of going about getting Naruto to cooperate enough?
Well, Naruto did also promise he wouldn't disappoint today. And he was almost at his destination and it made less sense to turn back now. There shouldn't be anything to worry about anyway! That's why he made this plan foolproof…
"Father?" Kyuubi called out, knocking the massive door that led to the master bedroom.
"Our guest is in need of a book that covers family history. I believe the best ones are in your library. May we go in and look?"
"HOLD UP!" His father shouted seconds before the doors leading to his bedroom burst open. It was with such force, Kyuubi had to clear the area in front of them. Ahehehehe, it was with such force, one of the doors broke off the hinges. His father let out a swear as the door fell to the floor and Kyuubi snickered to himself.
"Ahhhhgg…that was falling off anyway! I'll take care of it later. Ahem! Yes you both may, but you know the rules! If anyone needs to touch my books I must be there—eh? Where is Naruto-kun?"
Kyuubi smiled. "I left him standing by the library. Shall we go?"
Seeing his father twitch as his fingers slowly curled and tightened into fists was fascinating! He wished he had a flip book of the motion. Still like an absolute king, Daitaru straightened his posture real quick and started slowly walking in the right direction with his hands behind his back.
"Very well. I trust that you let him know the significance—"
"Oh I did," Kyuubi pointed out right as his father was passing by him. "My guest knows just how important the library is to you. I also told him how neat and clean you always keep it."
The snickers were threatening to burst from his mouth again as Daitaru once again twitched and then his pace sped up.
"Well let's not keep him waiting then!"
"Right!" Kyuubi chirped as he started to jog just to keep up with his father's long and hasty strides.
They reached the library soon enough and Kyuubi was absolutely delighted to see a pile of books spilling out into the hallway. A gasp spilled from his father's mouth. One second they're side by side and the next, his father is at the doorway, careful not to stand on any of the books and hands gripping the door sill so hard he appeared to crush it.
Well Kyuubi definitely didn't want to miss out on this. So he bounced over too, peaking under Daitaru's arm to see…
Magnificence.
He could only dream of destroying such an important place to such an extent.
Naruto was sulking when Kyuubi left him and then he really went and upped the ante. Books flew across the room, into perfectly empty spots on the shelves where they did NOT belong. Book towers and piles on the floor…nothing matched! Ohhhhh and those books on the very bottom shelf! He recognized that assortment of spines! They were a geography book collection from a library on the second floor and when the spines were put in the right order, it looked like the shelf was holding a lake. Emphasis on right order. There was a cart right there that gave away the obvious. His father was going to have an actual tough time finding things and if this were a REAL prank, if Naruto were to REALLY accidentally get caught, the consequences would be…heavy.
Naruto was doing something incredibly dangerous by messing up his father's order so much. And he looked so cute so excitedly jumping around…It almost makes him want to treat him a little better because after all this is over…he might like to see him pull off mischief again. GEEZ! He was jumping WAY ahead of himself! He wouldn't need Naruto at all after he's gone so forget that!
Still, disappoint Naruto did not. This slickster really followed up on his promise.
Speaking of 'up'. Naruto had hopped way up at the top of the nearest bookshelf, piling books into the crook of his arm, still oblivious to their presence. That is until-
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Daitaru roared. And ouch, Kyuubi winced, folding his ears down.
Naruto must've winced even harder. With a loud cry, he fell off of his high perch. Kyuubi's ears perked as he watched Naruto quickly right himself and land on his feet, and fortunately, the books he was holding were still safely in his arms.
Naruto crouched low and pulled his ears back as he looked up at the Head Kitsune with big blue eyes and an innocent expression.
"Oh darn! You caught me books in hand!" He exclaimed.
Next to him, his father trembled, and Kyuubi quietly leaped forward to an empty space between his father and his guest. It would be easier to get a read on his expression, it would be easier to speak about this face to face, it would be easier to react if Daitaru did decide to attack. Because come on he's not—he's not heartless! He did not plan on Naruto getting attacked for this so that's not what's going to happen. He's going to talk his father into doing what should've been done on day 1.
Daitaru looked furious as he bared his fangs but Kyuubi watched as what was a grimace slowly turned to a dangerous smile. Though he trembled still.
"Fat-"
"Naruto-kun…how's about we go on a little walk hm?"
"Sure!" Naruto bellowed from behind him.
Wait. Wait hold on. Daitaru took a deep breath and looked a lot calmer after exhaling. The right posture, hands behind his back…not a fang in sight.
"Kurama, please pick all of the books off of the floor and place them on my reading table. Also please return the geography collection to its correct place."
"Wait, but you and my guest are…you want to talk to him alone?" This wasn't exactly how he saw this going, but that didn't mean it was a bad thing. But he also didn't know yet if it was a good thing.
"Yes," Daitaru nodded. "Now please, get to it. Naruto-kun and I won't be long."
"Wait I can put the books back! Remind me where everything goes again?" He had to stall somehow.
"Tch," Daitaru rolled his eyes and turned his back on him. Apparently that was the wrong 'how'. "On the table Kurama! Don't worry about anything else. It'll be a fun activity for me to reorganize it myself when we get back."
Naruto swaggered past him with his chest puffed out in the most exaggerated manner. He winked back at him before catching up with Daitaru.
Now it was Kyuubi's turn to take a deep breath. Unintended consequence for sure. He didn't want to clean up. But just so long as Daitaru finally gave up on this situation, it's not so bad…
Kyuubi reminded himself of that, repeatedly, as he picked up books and carefully stacked them on the reading table. But he was also SO curious as to what Daitaru was going to say to remove his guest. In the past, it's always been Kyuubi who delivered the news.
He could imagine him doing it in an exaggeratingly polite manner. But oh dear God what if Daitaru's SO polite, he offers for Naruto to be adopted into the clan anyways?!
Then Kyuubi would be stuck watching him walking around the compound with wide-open jackets and tricks galore and no further chance to—GEEZ! Nonono! He's not going to think so far ahead!
His curiosity was eating him alive. Maybe he could search for and follow them while putting the geography collection back. Yea that sounds like a good idea! And the faster he stacks alllll these books up, the faster he can get to it!
"Ooooooo look at this meeeeeess! Your father's gonna tear your backside OUT!" He heard coming from the doorway.
Even better. A few quick words and Kyuubi was out and sneaking around while his cousin picked up the mess. After returning the collection and cart, he took his sweet time wandering around while making his way back. But no matter where he ran, he couldn't find them.
It was unbelievable! He was following their scents but couldn't actually reach them!
Until of course, they were all right in front of Daitaru's personal library.
His father was looking calm. Naruto was looking deep in thought.
"Ah! There he is. And good it appears you've done all that I've asked."
"Of'course I did…"
"Very well then! I'm going to spend my afternoon organizing this place. Have a good rest of your afternoon," Daitaru just…said and he…patted Naruto on the head before going into his…library.
What?!
Naruto walked towards him with an odd expression and Kyuubi was dying to know what happened. Obviously not within Daitaru's hearing range so they skipped over a few halls before Kyuubi could finally ask,
"Well?! What happened?!"
Now it was Naruto's turn for a deep breath as he shoved his thumbs in the hem of his pants, hair sticking up like static. He wouldn't even look Kyuubi in the eye.
"The plan failed. I don't think your dad was nearly as angry as you said he would be," he answered in a low mumble.
"What did he say to you?"
Naruto didn't respond right away. Instead he blinked, a look of distraction in his eyes, before quickly shaking his head.
"He wasn't angry…He told me how to get away with a prank properly and if I tried harder next time I can succeed…"
What? A lecture? That's it? Naruto not only failed at one of the quintessential standards, but he messed up his father's sanctuary! No way was even Daitaru that forgiving! Kyuubi highly doubted that was all he said, he MUST'VE told Naruto off somehow!
Wait. Wait. Wait a minute…
"What did he say about us?"
That's when Naruto gulped. "I think he really wants us to go through with this," he mumbled, looking down.
"…Stubborn son of a…! Don't look so ready to give up! There are ways you could be trying harder!"
Naruto's gaze shot up so fast it was like whiplash. "What the hell are you talking about?! I did my part! More than what you asked for even! Maybe you should try harder since this was your stupid plan in the first place Akagitsune!" He shouted. Kyuubi quickly shushed the loudmouth. Haha yes, Naruto was a loudmouth. Just because Daitaru wasn't in physical hearing range didn't mean he didn't have ears around here and Naruto's voice volume seemed to default to letting every single one of those ears hear him.
But that was semi what he wanted to hear.
"Hmph! Fine. I just thought of another plan. And this time I'll give you the help you so clearly need." Kyuubi recognized the lie on his tongue as soon as he said it. But he was baffled by Daitaru's behavior and the only explanation had to be because of Naruto. His father didn't just…accept a mess like that. He didn't. He never did.
Naruto growled and crossed his arms. But Kyuubi only got slightly worried when his guest smirked.
"Fine. But just so you know," Naruto's voice lowered in pitch and his eye lids went down so that his blue eyes met Kyuubi's red ones in quite an alluring stare.
"I'll do this more excitedly with some encouragement."
What? Weird.
"Pack your bags." Kyuubi asserted, raising his eyebrow.
"No," Naruto shook his head before smiling wide. "Encouragement." And he winked and Kyuubi got it. Naruto was flirting again. Rather than go with his first reaction, Kyuubi remembered how Naruto blushed at him when he smiled; and even better, didn't know why he listened in the end.
"What like this?" And he smiled, his most handsome smile.
Naruto swayed on his feet and fanned himself.
"How it makes me swooooon~~," he answered. Kyuubi then noticed that his cheeks were tinged red again. So it did affect him after all. Of course it would even though Naruto wanted out too. What a sucker, setting himself up for a little teasing. But Naruto turned around quickly so his back was facing him.
"And it encourages me to do my absolute best! Onward to the next plan!" Naruto pumped his fist in the air before taking off. The Kitsune heir shook his head and jogged after his intended.
"Lower your voice Loudmouth! And you're supposed to be following me!"
"This is the new plan?" Naruto asked, sounding unimpressed.
"It's better than before."
"You gotta be kidding me! It's the same damn thing as before only replace 'library' with 'kitchen on the third floor'. Third kitchen, Kyuubi corrected in his mind but didn't bother to out loud because Naruto was definitely going home today.
"So the method is a little similar. It's still much better."
"How exactly?"
It was better because Kyuubi had actual experience with messing up his father's favorite kitchen. One day his father wasn't feeling up to making him a snack so the ever self-sufficient Kyuubi roped Ichibi into helping him cook. They failed so spectacularly that the former pristine white mats on the walls and floors were still discolored a soft grey and there were more than a few new bricks on the large hot spot they used to heat the food. He's never received a punishment like that one before or since and Daitaru never really got over it. Today, Kyuubi was not allowed in the third kitchen, even with supervision. It would work this time around….but he didn't need Naruto laughing at him.
"Just trust me."
"Oh well there's an idea," Naruto quipped sarcastically. "I want to be a little involved in the process and know what you're thinking. Is that so wrong?"
Kyuubi inwardly groaned. Not again, not again, not again! Why?! Every time?!
"I'm seriously believing that all of your brain process goes into tricks and opening that loudmouth of yours. Think. You've been here a week and you see my father loves to cook in this kitchen. Now just imagine what his reaction will be when he sees can't right away!"
Naruto blinked and looked up in thought. "Well I guess you have a point there. I'm just skeptical because if messing up his library didn't work, how are you so sure this will?"
Honestly? Failing the same kind of prank twice in one day and on Daitaru's personal spots was also pretty dishonorable. But Kyuubi was so tired of having to answer Naruto all the time.
"Because I am. Just trust me on this."
"Hehe you really want me to trust you huh? Either you're hiding something or…you're starting to see my approval as something to gain." Naruto smiled. Kyuubi scoffed.
"Get over yourself. Your trust or approval or whatever means nothing to me."
"So you have something to hide?"
Kyuubi's face reddened. "Just shut up and start picking this kitchen apart! You stay over there and I'll stay over here."
"Alright, alright sheesh! The hot spot will be on fire and the cabinet doors will be left open! Happy Akagitsune?" Naruto taunted, sticking out his tongue. Kyuubi rolled his eyes at the childish taunt and turned away so he could tear apart the kitchen in peace. But there was no peace. Not with Naruto around.
"Hey! Hey!" The loudmouth shouted, only seconds later.
"Hm?" Kyuubi glanced behind him. Huh. So his guest can multitask. Well that's certainly very useful to, it's not useful know. Kyuubi really doesn't care if Naruto can do two things at once.
"I bet I can mess up my side faster than you mess up your side."
A challenge?
The words, the intent, bypassed everything and went straight to the 'this sounds fun' center of his heart as his inner need to win woke up. But, no no! They had to take this seriously! The library didn't work so they had to make sure the kitchen did! As he took on the task of taking eight bottles of sugar and set them randomly on the floor, he tried to answer in a serious manner.
"It doesn't matter how fast we get this done. What matters is that this place gets wrecked. I don't care if it takes us an hour or two minutes just so long as by the time my father sees it, it looks like you had a temper tantrum."
"Like your room?"
"Don't talk about my room!" Kyuubi yelled, with a slight twitch. He still didn't like to think about that. Pictures of that secretive smile appeared in his mind and it wasn't until Naruto spoke again that he came back from his very, very, very lost thoughts.
"It'll be easy for me to mess this up. And I'll do it a lot faster than you. Just watch me," Naruto asserted confidently.
"Hah! I wish I could watch your technique because..." Kyuubi trailed off, slightly disturbed. He—he didn't have a sarcastic follow up. An accidental truth just left his mouth. He was getting ahead of himself there were NO plans at all to see Naruto after this was over!
There was a pause from Naruto's end. And then he heard his guest say, "you want to watch me do my work?"
Kyuubi mentally slapped his cheeks. Said cheeks physically reddened in embarrassment. "Only when you're doing something useful!"
"Oh. Would you like me to return the favor?"
The teasing tone made it clear. Naruto wanted to play around and obviously he wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted. But this time around, the excuse of 'no distractions, must be serious' sounded incredibly weak in his mind. The challenge of it all was stronger, and Kyuubi found himself wanting to tease back. This went against his normal logic, but he wasn't horrified by the notion. No he wanted to tease Naruto back because that loudmouth was trying to run the show wasn't he? If he thinks that just because they were allies—for the moment—that he could just walk around and run his mouth well…what's that saying about kitsune who cast their illusions too wide? Kyuubi can multitask too. He can let loose and still reach his goal in the end.
If Naruto can have so much fun with this…why can't he?
"Why not? You could learn a few things from watching me."
"Is that an invitation?"
"One that doesn't stretch beyond this kitchen," Kyuubi cautioned, suddenly feeling serious. Once they were done here, there would be no need to mess up anymore rooms. Because this was going to work. For all the shit he gets for his temper tantrums, destroying two of Daitaru's favorite rooms in one day should at the very least net Naruto a toss across the country…It was actually kinda a miracle that his father didn't suspect Kyuubi was behind the library.
"I'm not very picky." Naruto's voice cut through his thoughts. "Wherever you do it best, I would love to watch."
"Where I do it best? Everywhere. But you're more likely to see the results at our training grounds." It's where he spent most of his time. He's been destroying each and every one of them ever since he was a kit. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. Sometimes in the heat of anger, sometimes when his arteries were filled with pure adrenaline. No matter how many times they get fixed up, Kyuubi will find a way to destroy them.
"Makes sense. A lot of action happens there anyway. Where else?"
"The bathhouses definitely." That could be squarely blamed on his father. He kept rebuilding the damn things next to the training grounds. Okay so yes, it is mandatory for a sweaty, dirty, or injured kitsune to wash themselves off before walking onto the compound and Kyuubi gets that. But really, if Daitaru wasn't so picky about appearance and just moved around a few of his precious yards, then there wouldn't be any problems. At this point in time, rebuilding the bathhouses in the same spot is making a formal request for them to be destroyed.
"My, my, my." He heard Naruto laugh.
"What about you?" He surprised himself by asking. He dropped the surprise in favor of being genuinely interested in Naruto's answer. The loudmouth's annoying but he's not that dumb. He destroyed the library pretty well and pranked his family. He's probably got some inspiring tales that Kyuubi could remember while forgetting who told him said tales once this is all done.
"Well I'm not particularly old-fashioned, but I do pretty well in the bedroom."
At that Kyuubi blinked. What is the point of destroying your own room? Sounds kind of stupid thought the kitsune that destroyed his own toilet two chapters ago.
"But I like the sights, smells, and sounds of nature so there's this really pretty waterfall where I do it best. The beauty of it all just vitalizes me."
But if it's the beauty of nature you're interested in why would you they weren't talking about destruction were they?
"So you do it best at the training grounds or bathhouses huh? Kinky."
No. They weren't.
"I like unorthodox destruction."
It was after that sentence that Kyuubi burst out laughing. Here they were trying to get out of this dirty situation and this loudmouth was making dirty jokes. Whether it had something to do with his promise to Minato or not, his guest had some balls.
"Aw man you figured it out didn't you?"
"You're being obvious about it now."
"But I wanted to jerk around some more! Do you see how quickly time passes when we do it together?"
"Oh sure. And the faster time passes, the closer we are to the point when you leave."
"Exactly! So is there any reason not to do it? Hm?"
Kyuubi snorted, but Naruto didn't reply and Kyuubi felt the staring. So Kyuubi turned around, intent on remembering his original intention and putting Naruto in his place; which is FAR behind the line of propositions. But their eyes met and Kyuubi paused because he couldn't tell if Naruto was being serious or not. And he couldn't identify this strange feeling in the air. But he hid the strange feeling inside of him with a smirk.
"Yes as a matter of fact there is. My father is right around the corner, coming in for an afternoon snack."
And lucky for them, the kitchen did indeed look wrecked.
It would work. It should work. It has to work. Because there his father was, standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking around another destroyed hobby hole of his with murder in his amber eyes and his fangs on display. If his father actually went unsealed because of this then Kyuubi might just tear up in excitement instead of just continuing to tear up in discomfort. He had thrown himself into the cleaning pantry and even with the door cracked, the strong scent of bleach and other agents was nearly enough to make a kitsune pass out, if he wasn't holding his nose that is. It hid his scent though and that was the real purpose.
And it would be more than worth it if his father would just get angry.
His hands were on his hips which was another tell-tale sign…And Naruto was shuffling shyly behind him, but still with that smug face and so hope was not lost there.
"Like my redesign?" The loudmouth quipped and Kyuubi was both parts 'I'm proud of you' and 'I'm probably going to lose something protecting you.' Because his father was going to lose it and he would be biting his claws in anticipation if he didn't need them for the upcoming battle. Instead his tails curled at his back and his ears stretched as forward as they could go.
"Do I like it?" Daitaru spat out. He sounded menacing, that guttural growl was telling.
"All I can say is…well done Naruto-kun!"
Kyuubi's jaw dropped.
His father—his father—his father was smiling. That angry frown turned upside down and he turned to Naruto and waved his hand over all of that carnage that should've driven him to unholy, psychotic rage but instead was making him smile?!
"This prank is marvelously offensive!" And praise?! "My kitchen this time I see, hah! Had I come upon this later and not known it was you, I probably would've given you the exact reaction you're looking for!"
WHAT?!
"Ah but there's something to be learned here. Perhaps I shouldn't be so uptight about cleanliness. After all this can be cleaned up, and I am always interested in finding ways to do it! Though I must advise you once again, to truly pull off a successful trick, you must make your getaway before I come upon this. Understand?"
Naruto grimaced and grinned a strained grin. "Sure."
"Good! Now I must ask you let Kurama know of this. Everyone knows that boy is always trying to find ways to make me 'lose my cool' so to speak. He should be around here…somewhere."
Kyuubi flinched back as his father looked right at the pantry and they nearly made eye contact through the crack.
"Ah well, you'll find him. Enjoy the rest of your day Naruto-kun." And with that he patted Naruto's head and then left.
"No way in hell," Kyuubi muttered. He came out of the pantry and walked towards Naruto.
"No way in hell! How the fuck did that just happen?!"
"I'm telling you he really wants us to go through with this!"
"But this is his kitchen! His kitchen! He didn't even tell you to clean it up…" Kyuubi didn't even try to hide his disbelief. Was it the fact that it was Naruto that caused this radical change? Because if it had been him that was caught in here, hell would be uprooted and unleashed on him in fury.
"Good because I would've made you help me anyway," Naruto responded, teasingly. But Kyuubi was no longer in the mood. That's twice now that they ruined a room precious to his father and the Kitsune didn't react at all in the way Kyuubi thought he would. His world appeared to be turned upside down because trust, nearly 905 years of living under this man's roof has taught Kyuubi everything he needed to know about what pisses Daitaru off the most.
And this…this just didn't make any sense…unless it did. Unless, this was a ploy. His father must be tricking them! That look in his eyes when he saw this room was unmistakable and yet he turned his attitude around just like that? No, not his father. Daitaru knew what was going on and now was screwing with him.
"So since your plans have been failures, it looks like we're gonna hafta try one of my-"
"He's just messing with us. It would be just like him to screw around on such an important matter! We just need to make him crack first! Let's attack his bedroom next!" Kyuubi ordered. If Daitaru dared to ignore the message they were trying to send in this manner, then Kyuubi would be all too happy to continue this path of destruction until he couldn't ignore it! This is just one of those situations where he's asking for it, Kyuubi thought, clenching his fists until they hurt.
He took only two steps forward before a hand on his shoulder stopped him. All of the anger at Daitaru immediately bled out of him, replaced with minor annoyance. Why did Naruto forget the 'no touching' rule already? He turned his head to tell his guest that the rule was most definitely still applicable when he paused at the sight of the furious spark in his icy blue eyes.
"Listen up! I don't know how you forgot but it looks like I have to remind you that we made this deal as partners Akagitsune. That means MY OPINION MATTERS TOO!" Geez, Kyuubi's ears flattened for a second before he recovered with a scowl on his face.
"Tch!" He scoffed, shrugging Naruto's hand off of his shoulder and turning around to face him completely. "What do you know about getting my father to agree to our demands?" He asked, arms crossed.
"Well what do you know? You've done a shitty job getting him to listen so far!" Naruto pointed out. The Kitsune heir wanted to break something. Naruto was right. He's never been good at getting his father, either of his parents really, to listen. It was probably hereditary.
"As for what I know, I know your dad really, really, really wants you to get a mate. So it looks like he'll look past everything I do and see it as a good thing. Unless I do something irreversibly bad, we're not gonna get him to hate me. And NO, I will not do something that bad. It's still counterproductive to my purpose here."
"So what do you propose genius?" Kyuubi asked, sarcastically. He hated how right Naruto was.
Naruto grinned. "I have an idea that even you would like. I say, that instead of trying to get your dad to think of me as not up to standard, we show him that our relationship is a bad relationship!"
Kyuubi raised an eyebrow, expression reflecting his interest. That idea didn't sound half bad.
"Think about it," Naruto elaborated, "your dad must care about your happiness right? Well if he sees us in a 'relationship' that makes you miserable, then he has to call the whole thing off right?"
The older kitsune highly doubted the 'cares about your happiness' part, but Naruto did give him an ingenious idea. Incredibly ingenious. One that would be sure to hit his father right where it hurt and possibly make him give up on getting Kyuubi to mate for good!
If he could emulate a bad relationship with Naruto that reminded Daitaru of his relationship with Kyuubi's mother then…hmmm. Yes, Kyuubi was finally more impressed than he was salty about the fact that Naruto was right. If this loudmouth continued on this trek, then Kyuubi may let him leave with a pat on a back…and an invite. To be his friend of course.
"Alright. I approve. We'll do it."
"Yes!" Naruto pumped his fist, looking much cuter than he had any right to. "Now how do we do it?"
"Do what?"
"A bad relationship!"
"You're asking me for what to do for your idea?" Kyuubi asked, incredulous. Actually this is the second time Naruto straight up asked for his wisdom. Topic notwithstanding, that did stroke his pride a little considering how much lip—how much attitude he's been dealing with. Naruto was at ease with his lack of knowledge for he shrugged.
"Cut me some slack! You gotta tell me how to do a relationship that would make you miserable! Now if we had to do a relationship that would make me miserable then all you have to do is exactly what you're doing now: standing next to me and breathing my air."
"What low standards you have," Kyuubi snarled out. He wasn't expecting Naruto to insult him like that, even if he did try to pass it off with a jokey, little smile.
"Don't be mad. You would feel the same way if you knew what I knew. I've actually been taught well on what to look for see. From what I remember my parents really loved each other before my mom died."
Kyuubi held his tongue. Of course….
"And so I'm pretty good at picking and choosing 'em. I know exactly what makes a good relationship!"
"So why am I suitor number 6?" Kyuubi shot back with a smirk. Naruto was a lot less stupid than he thought him to be. And so while he used to think that his status as number 6 was solely because suitor's 1 through 5 found Naruto to be too annoying, he was now starting to get the impression that sabotage was at play. Naruto was also a lot more threatening than he thought him to be. Feeling the temperature drop and seeing those beautiful ice blue eyes turn a scarlet red while four tails fanned out from behind? Completely unexpected.
"BECAUSE THOSE SUITORS DIDN'T BECOME RELATIONSHIPS!" Naruto screamed.
"W-What?" Kyuubi breathed out, ears ringing and feeling palpitations because of it.
"Don't you know anything about them?! Why would you say something like that to me?!" And Naruto sounded more upset than Kyuubi had ever heard from him so far.
"What? N-NO! I don't know anything about them!" And that was the truth. He only knew about a stern Daitaru warning him that as the 6th suitor, he should be gentle with his guest because clearly he's been through 5 bastards before him.
"Are you okay?" He asked. Not necessarily because he was concerned about Naruto's mental health, but because this 180 in attitude…bothered him. He felt like another silent treatment was around the corner and he would really rather not have Naruto ignore him when they just hit the golden jackpot of all ideas.
Naruto closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Imagine, morning, noon, and night and going down to see your kitchen looking like this."
Naruto held up both of his hands and snapped his fingers. The admittedly impressive illusion was only immediately obvious because Kyuubi saw the kitchen slowly transform before his very eyes. Instead of looking like part of the destructive path of a discontented suitor, it looked like the end result of a massive attack. Splashes of sauce and other liquids were all over the walls, half-eaten plates with crumbs on them on the counters and the floors, stacks of dirty bowls were in the sink, and there was a trashcan piled high with…uneaten, discarded side dishes. Glorious sticky rice sticking to the ceiling on top of all these vegetables and it looked like each piece of furniture had a chunk or two bitten out of it.
"How dirty. And wasteful," Kyuubi commented, looking around. It brought on annoyance knowing someone could be so distasteful. He also covered his nose as Naruto had effectively recreated the scent of a garbage disposal. Which was not bad for a four-tails.
"And all of this waste caused by that one pig!"
Kyuubi looked back at Naruto and saw the blond pointing behind himself at…a small round table. The Namikaze have a table in the kitchen? And at the Namikaze table was a stout, peach-skinned male. He would almost be cute, with a little upturned nose and slick dark hair pulled back in a top-knot and even these pretty mix-matched blue and green eyes.
But he was stuffing his face like a pig. The table he was eating at was covered in food, plates, and even partially opened—partially eaten—boxes. Some of the food was dripping down his arms and it was stained all over his face and tunic. Some of the food that he was eating was completely burnt and it really shouldn't have been.
But what really made Kyuubi jump, was him tossing food—and trash— that he couldn't eat off to the side. On the floor, on the walls…everywhere where waste did not belong.
"Meet the defending champion of the Fighting Tournament and my very first official suitor," Naruto growled out lowly.
"You…and he…Wait, he was allowed into your home?!"
Naruto's ears lowered and went back as if he felt ashamed. "He was a defending champion of one of the largest local fighting tournaments. Me and dad had a higher tolerance threshold back then and because of his title he was just more appealing than most…But this didn't last long. He was also so freakin hostile! Every freakin time I tried to talk to him he'd be just so freakin mean and boring! We kicked him out when he 'accidentally' took a chunk out of my tail because he freakin mistook it for something else to eat!"
Ouch. Looking at Naruto's tails he could see one of them did have a disturbed fur pattern on it in the shape of a mouth that he didn't notice before…
The 'we were so stupid and naive' went unsaid but Kyuubi could see it. Wincing in slight sympathy he could honestly say he couldn't agree.
"You…shouldn't feel bad about picking the wrong suitor. It's a real process, even with all the rules and a high and mighty clan to back it up. Mistakes happen to everyone, even me."
Naruto blinked at him, blue eyes showing confusion.
"If you tell anyone else this, they won't believe you I assure you, but the very first suitor I brought home to father I had to send back to her home by the end of the night because I had mistaken her for being an organized, clean person, due to her skills in the art of organizing business. But she couldn't even make it through the first dinner without destroying the silverware aheh," Kyuubi chuckled now at the memory, even though at the time it was the source of his rage for that weekend.
A younger, more immature him didn't have time to think about the implications of his father's order before he was out trying to find a mate. And just as quickly as he thought it would be kinda cool to have a kit with wings, he realized it was too fucking early for this shit. Barely accepting one change in the compound and then he had to go and court a heron youkai whose priorities would never allow her to fully participate in a courtship anyways.
His only crime was telling her not to impress his father too much because he didn't want ANYONE thinking they should mate sooner than he was ready to. He didn't know she was a slob until her food ended up in his hair, on his skin, in his mouth after being on her beak. And she didn't even eat the vegetables!
His father looked worse and after she left, he had assumed he brought her home as a prank and somehow either knew this woman had disgusting table manners or had told her to behave in such a way. The lecture on 'taking things seriously' was a long and hot one and Kyuubi almost didn't forgive the bird youkai just for being the cause of it. But she lived and worked in the market on the rivers between the drier lands of the desert and the wetter lands where Sanbi lived and Kyuubi knew it was certainly possible to cut romantic ties and still keep the perks.
"The silverware?"
"Yep, swallowed them whole. Had outlines of them on her skin, like right here." And Kyuubi proceeded to lift his shirt up, and do the ultra-powerful technique of an illusion within another's illusion. His smooth stomach became rounder, with outlines of sticks, forks, knives, and a couple of spoons all in it. Naruto jumped at the sight, immediately ending his own illusion, before he burst into laughter.
"HAHAHA!"
"Ruined the table and my shirt too." And maybe it was because he so vividly remembered what he looked like, but his illusion changed him to look exactly like how he did at the end of that dinner. An absolute mess.
"HAHAHAHAHA! Is she why dinner was so small the first night?"
"No. As I told you, my father wanted to look more humble than he really is. The only thing that really confuses me about his behavior is his patience with you. But to be fair, gluttons make him rage. They are the worst to hear him tell it," he answered. And he dropped his illusion too, before he started to remember the feeling of being slimy and disgusting.
Naruto's demeanor suddenly became somber. "Yea well, my glutton was one of the better ones," he muttered lowly. Kyuubi paused and waited for his guest to elaborate only for him to stay silent. He could see the agitation and distress building up in his companion through his spikier than normal hair and tense shoulders and Kyuubi felt the odd urge to quell it…It wasn't even like it mattered now about bad suitors. Maybe once this is all over, they can trade stories.
"Well then, rest assured you won't need to remember them at all. I already have the way you should act in mind." If there was any overlap then tough tanuki balls because this was perfect and he was not going to change it. But his guest perked up and even cracked a smile.
"I'm willing to listen as long as I don't have to think about them."
"Good. In that case we can get started. Now come along. I'll explain our roles on the way."
They were out on the front lawn, the warm sand beneath their feet. Naruto had the idea to pretend to be planting some potted plants in the yard so it would like less staged. He even brought out two plants from his carriage with the condition that he gets them back immediately once they finished.
Not to be outdone in the 'make this look natural' department, Kyuubi did his part by ensuring his father would have to come out to the front lawn.
All they had to do now, was slowly pretend to plant, and wait.
"This is so exciting! I never had to act before!"
"And I never heard you whisper before. I guess we're both experiencing new things today."
"Careful with your dirty talk Akagitsune. It might be 'in-character' for me to return it to you."
And Kyuubi accidentally stuck his tongue out at Naruto for that comment.
But there was no time to chide himself for it. Daitaru opened the front door and started making his way to the mailbox. He already has a sour look on his face likely because for some strange reason, no one else was getting the mail. They got one chance to get this right and already things were looking to be in their favor.
"Okay, there he is. And start!" Kyuubi whispered.
"UGH! I'm SO BORED!" Naruto groaned, giving up on the planting and flopping onto his back. "Isn't there anything new and exciting we can do?"
"You've only been here a week. Give it a little time we haven't done everything there is to do yet."
Naruto rolled onto his stomach. "A week is long enough I think. And so far we've done nothing but walk around and talk. I wanna see some exciting shows! Go on trips to new destinations! I wanna travel Kyuubi! Let's go somewhere!" He exclaimed, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Before Kyuubi even knew it was happening, suddenly his hand was in Naruto's.
The eagerness in his expression almost had Kyuubi believe him and agree to travel somewhere. Naruto was a damn fine actor. It helped that he actually did want to get out of his compound but, he was playing a part. That wasn't an option now.
"We're still in the first month of the courtship period. Yanno as well as I do that means we stay put," he said, pulling his hand away. It fit the role he was playing but he mainly did it because his hand was starting to feel a little too comfortable in Naruto's. He tried to pretend to plant again but Naruto quickly pushed his hands away so he'd stop scooping sand onto the plant.
"Fine," Naruto pouted, pointedly glaring and subtly shaking his head. "Then after this whole mating business is over, let's go traveling! Being cramped in a compound just doesn't sound appealing to me. And stop it the leaves need to be exposed to the sun."
"No can do. I have my duties as heir. We'll have to stay here for a while," Kyuubi responded in a neutral tone, casually pulling his knee up and leaning on it, as if it didn't matter to him. He thought the leaves of this plant were the roots. Maybe Naruto should've told him otherwise before they pretended to do something that was going to be reversed anyway.
Naruto growled and started removing sand from Kyuubi's plant. And maybe that's why the annoyance really showed up in his tone when he said, "you've got to be kidding me! Do those things really matter while your dad is still around?"
"Obviously Minato didn't teach you much responsibility did he? Being an heir yourself, you should know that they do matter very much."
Naruto glared spitefully at Kyuubi. Leaning towards him and lowering his voice, he harshly whispered, "hey! Leave my dad outta this!"
Kyuubi whispered back. "Shh! Don't break character!"
Sitting back, Naruto still had the glare on his face as he patted the sand around the now free and exposed plant. Kyuubi could appreciate the glare actually. It added a much-needed realistic tone to the whole thing and Daitaru was looking incredibly uncomfortable. Perfect!
"Then take it all with you or something!"
"That would completely negate the point of even having a compound if I could just travel all the time and bring my work with me!" That wasn't even acting per se. Kyuubi was still incredibly bitter at the excuse thrown into his face once a long long time ago when he first talked about leaving home.
"Look just don't worry okay? I'll make sure you're never bored here."
"Promise?" Naruto huffed.
Kyuubi came to a complete stop. Fuck? What the fuck? 'Promise'?! Although they were acting, promises were just too sacred in the kitsune species. They can't be faked or given out as a joke at all. Asking him to make a promise, means he would actually be making a promise to never let Naruto to get bored while here at the compound if he said yes.
…Which means he can't pass Naruto off unwillingly to other family members or leave him alone. Damn? What the damn? Naruto keeps surprising him with how clever he is!
Kyuubi chewed his bottom lip in thought. Because on that note, is he truly so against it? It's not like it'd be the end of the world. They had an alright time in the kitchen didn't they? And maybe he could teach him to tone down the annoying loudmouthness for that unknown future of theirs.
"I promise." And there goes his soul, to be bound to making sure Naruto is never bored at the Kitsune Clan home.
Naruto smiled and was it Kyuubi or was it prettier this time around?
"Good. I'll make sure you uphold that promise!"
Kyuubi turned his head to see his father slowly walk back into the main castle and shut the door behind him.
"'S'he gone?" Naruto asked, leaning to look around him.
"Yeah."
"I think we kinda got him this time. He didn't look happy did he?"
"Not at all. Take notes Loudmouth! All you have to do is act constantly unsatisfied and bitchy and I just have to be a stubborn jackass about it. We don't compromise, we fight, and BOOM! My old man will be packing your things and saying, 'this isn't working out' in no time!" Kyuubi pointed out excitedly, grinning in the direction of the castle. He had fantasies of being broken up by the end of the 2nd week, but if he were being realistic it might take at least a month to break his father down. That is a satisfying outcome nonetheless.
When Naruto made no reply, Kyuubi turned back to look at him. He did not look happy.
"What?"
"'Loudmouth'? I mean I'm not saying it's worse than idiot but, I'm thinkin you forgot my actual name."
Of course he didn't forget the name Naruto, but he wasn't about to start using it either. But why be mean about it when this is the perfect opportunity to tease? He was in a good mood after all since it looked like the plan will work. So he grinned.
"Think of your promise to your dad. It would help you out a lot if you allowed me to call you a cute little nickname without complaint."
Naruto did that puffy cheek pout, but then he smirked. He then leaned forward, closer into Kyuubi's personal bubble than he usually gets making the older kitsune lean back and blush.
"What're you doing?!"
"Cute nickname for your mate huh? But it takes two to make a relationship work! From now until we break up I'll call you Kooooibii-chaaaan~~"
With a red face and madly twitching ear, Kyuubi grabbed Naruto's arms and pushed him back.
"If you don't shut the fuck up."
With a laugh, Naruto leaned forward once more. "But it's soooo fitting! I'll only call you Akagitsune when you get on my nerves," he purred.
Kyuubi put his hands on Naruto's shoulders and pushed him away again. "Look! I know what you're doing but cut it out! Calling me either one of those stupid nicknames is going to do the opposite of wooing me over!"
Kyuubi didn't know what horrified him more: the fact that he was giving Naruto tips for wooing him over or the fact that his voice shook the tiniest bit at the end. Damn this kitsune. Why is he even like this?
Naruto laughed again but backed off. "Okay, I know it's a little too early in the game to be pushing you TOO far."
"Hmph! There won't ever come a point when it's not too early!" Kyuubi said, standing up. Facing away from Naruto, he also said, "now come on. Let's just go eat dinner and go over our plan once more and make it so I won't have to see you for the rest of the day."
Naruto stretched and yawned. "Yeah I am getting kind of tired. I was never really a night fox y'know?" He said, getting up and walking with Kyuubi towards the castle. "I've always been an early fox. I'm up and down with the sun!"
"So I've noticed. Not for anything in the world will you have me in a position where getting up early is a required habit. Now staying up until the sun rises, easy as bagging sand," Kyuubi bragged. Naruto smiled widely next to him.
"Well then maybe we can learn from each other! You can teach me to stay up and enjoy the night life and I'll show you how to wake up when it's still dark out and what perks that brings!"
"What at all is beneficial about waking up early?"
"For you specifically? I'm more 'energetic' in the mornings." Naruto winked. The loudmouth giggled of course loudly and Kyuubi rolled his eyes. He found himself grabbing Naruto's wrist and pulling him along to pick up the pace.
AAAHAHAHAHAHAACK-ACK-AGGH!
Ugh, choked on my toothbrush. Pft!
Okay that's enough of that! Got to go to bed to think hehee! Kurama really doesn't realize—no no that oblivious bastard doesn't even know just what the fuck he's trying to fight!
I'm sure Daitaru has to put up with a lot because all that huffing and puffing was just for show. He's definitely used to Kurama's stupid attitude because he thanked me. Twice now. Thanked me, the son of Namikaze Minato for putting up with his son. Like what sense does that make? I mean it's true that I deserve it, but still talk about surprises coming out of the branches.
He told me to watch out when Kurama tells me to do something because he has a trend of, his words, 'telling suitors how to act' and then 'ruining everything for himself'. My guess is that since I'm not his first suitor, there's been some mischief in the past. And sure he's bossy, but his very first suitor sounded like an actual mistake beyond his control.
Which, I'm not defending him or anything. But, y'know, today wasn't too bad. I think I'm starting to get who he is. He acts pinchy and crabby and high-nosed like most kitsune of course. But when he laughs and smiles it's…genuine. I think. And dinner today did give me a little bit of a new look at him. I think he's really shy. Y'know he said he wasn't, but when I try to get him to talk about himself or his hobbies or whatever, he clams up. I know the cool-quiet type. They don't blush as much as Akagitsune does.
He reminds me of Iruka actually. Iruka's shy, 'cept when he's yelling at me. Whoa actually…they are a lot alike! Haha I wonder if Kurama likes to go swimming at night and can blow more than air out his hole? Haha I can picture Iruka yelling at him, telling him he's doin it wrong and Kakashi's off to the side looking like he's just reading but he'll throw in these lil snide comments 'cause he's actually paying attention…
I miss them. And dad too. I didn't act right with them at all before I left. Y'know dad deserved some of it, but Iruka and Kakashi didn't. And now that I'm gone, will they still be there when I get back? Gah! What am I worried about? Of course they will be! Y'know they should be there because they're loyal as fuck to my dad and they've been around longer than anyone else period! And y'know when I told them on the way here that I was gonna shake this clan down to find out about mom, they both supported me…
Maybe I should've told them something nice on the ride. Something like 'I'm fond of you both', or 'I appreciate you always putting up with my bullshit'. It didn't have to be sappy, but it had to be something.
But they'll be there when I get back so I'll tell them then! Along with every other exciting thing going on here of course! Came here expecting to fight hell and here I am raising it hehehe! It's MY idea we're going with heehee! Act unsatisfied? No problem! Act like I'm above everyone here? Can't lie I've always been a little curious about that mindset! Every one of my friends had their turn at it until I showed them that they weren't better, they were sorry. So now it's my turn to have a go at it! Well wait, not everyone was like that. Sakura-chan was never like that. Or Hinata either now that I think about it. Lee and Sai were probably just strange.
Huh…ahhh that part probably won't be as much fun after all. But y'know hey, so long as Daitaru doesn't figure out that I'm in on it too, I think we stand a real chance then! I'll just…KEEP IT A SECRET HAHAHA! Maybe even for 500 years! Oh man I'm on a roll here with the secrets. But like my dad always says, "Naruto, there's a time and place for sharing information. Now let me find out what you did and you'll see what happens."
…..Yeah he'll find out what information I have alright…just as soon I get a lead on where mom is.
Tomorrow's a new day Namikaze Naruto. Time at least to get some sleep…
Oh shit I gotta remember to grab my plants tomorrow too! Freakin…YAWN…kitsune almost killed one of 'em! Gonna make me break my promise again! And I won't forgive him…Not even if he smiles that handsome smile and says "forgive me naruto? For me?"…
(as exhaustion seeped into Naruto's mind the video of Kurama's handsome smile and velvety "for me?" replayed in his head a couple of times too many before he finally turned it off to sleep and dream other dreams.)
And we've finished the chapter! But the story is JUST getting started!
Story Fun Fact Corner
1) AGES! YES! I was avoiding it for a while now because I had literally no idea how to do it but then Thank GOD the creativity struck! Kitsune reach milestones in increments of 150 yrs. Kurama is over 900 so he can drink. Naruto is over 750 years old so he's an adult. 1000 years is going to be important!...somehow!
2) So now pranks have received their explanation haha! Basically pranks, like promises are innate. However a kitsune describes it (an invisible force, an addicting feeling, time for a lesson, etc.) may be unique, but the feeling itself is universal within the species. I also really wanted to add that even though it is something all kitsune feel, they have their own opinions on what makes pranks good or bad because it would be one of those things that they can gather in groups and discuss/debate about. Pranks also don't usually kill the prankster even if they mess up...tho if someone where to pass that unforgivably offensive line, even unintentionally, it's up to the fox who was offended on how to respond...
Author Fun Fact Corner
1) Are yall seeing what I'm writing? These characters have some pretty massive blind spots wahahaha! Ex: Kurama and Daitaru know each other so well, but seem to be missing some pretty important cues! Good thing they're all good people! Tbh, I'm having fun writing about character A making assumptions about characters B (and C) and acting based on those assumptions! It makes things as messy as real life in my opinion. But feedback is always welcome on anything that seems confusing or contradictory or whatever!
That's all I can think of right now since I don't want to delay anymore haha. THANK YOU as always to ALL who have been reviewing, reading, favoriting, and subscribing! It means a lot to me that yall are enjoying this ride :D! As I said in the beginning, the aim is to write as if I'm going to update once a month. I might not always get there, but I'll keep the mind set and update my profile at the beginning, middle, and end of the month and when I'm about to update.
Hope yall enjoyed this chapter and I hope yall are still staying safe!