Comfort he could not give.
Ulquiorra knew as much, his soul knew nothing about joy or hope and dreaming of the day when it were not so was foolish thinking. The Shinigami needed these things; she needed hope in her heart to keep going to face the waking nightmare that tortured her spirit. In the nights when he'd hear her cry aloud in sleep and lost dreams, he would awake and lie there, staring up at the craggy ceiling. Wondering sometimes when she would ever let it go, that source of pain that was her supposed reason for atonement.
Hadn't the Shinigami had other people besides the dead one? Oh yes, he knew it was another Shinigami, a male whom she cried out for in the darkest part of the never-changing night.
Kaien.
Again.
Kaien!!
More desperately now:
I'm sorry, Kaien!!
Forgive me…Her voice would end on a whisper, different, fallen and defeated, then the snappish responses she gave him every day. Who was this man, Kaien? Her lover? He'd guess, then, dismiss the thought. She was much too young, he asserted, to be serious about anything like that. Maybe a brother or a friend…somehow this change of conjecture suited his mind and put him at ease rather than his former line of thinking. Perhaps he'd pose a few questions once she woke up…
~~*~~
"You were talking in your sleep," he began without preamble, "what were you dreaming about?" Rukia glanced up at the demanding force behind the Hollow's seemingly casual question. "I don't know what you mean," she brushed back a few unruly bangs from her eyes, lowering her gaze as she did so.
"You kept mentioning a name. The name of a man…Kaien," Ulquiorra affirmed, blatantly ignoring her attempts to put him off the subject. "Who was he?"
She spun around fast, her heart in her throat, "it's none of your business, Hollow." Her voice was even though she couldn't keep her hands from shaking around the handle of the pitcher. Water sloshed onto her feet but she was oblivious to it. "I wonder at your dislike of it. Have you no idea that every night I've heard you cry in your sleep for this man?" he said blandly, not phrasing it as a question and instead waiting for the reaction he hoped to gain.
Her palm slapped his cheek then pulled away stinging as her soft flesh had come into contact with hard bone. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and twisting her forward. Her soft grunt of pain drew a confused growl from his throat. Where had that come from?
"L-Let me g-go," she muttered, pushing her free hand against his chest. Ulquiorra detachedly watched her struggles, knowing he had the upper hand. "No." He caught her surprised look more than a little colored by fear. His instincts at once tempered by the knowledge of that fear, reacted. Rukia slowly lifted her head, staring up into his face, into his eyes dilated with a predatorial gleam. A particular mixture of lust and hunger was reflected within the deadened pools.
"Don't be afraid…Rukia." He said below a whisper. Her body lost its rigidity, his hand slid from confining her wrist to her face. She swallowed hard, then almost defiantly met his gaze, "I won't be." His arms slipped over her back, holding her loosely. She tried to not like it, not to gain a semblance of warmth from being hugged by a Hollow. Her mind tried to convince her that he could turn on her any second, tear her to pieces without even feeling a single pang of remorse. She knew all that already. But somehow…
~~~*~~~
Ulquiorra felt the steady beat of her heart against his ribcage, the scent of her being filling his nostrils. She had grown quiet after giving her answer and he was glad of it. He lived in silence, in the quiet, in the deepest stillness of the night. To ask, to use her voice to break the sense surrounding them, he wouldn't have forgiven her for it.
Part of him was strangely triumphant as she leaned in, accepting his embrace; another part needled his mind with craven images of bloodlust, tearing the flimsy covering of clothing from her body, straddling her small hips, listening to her throat aching screams while he pounded her. She wouldn't submit while she still had breath; he knew her pride wouldn't let her give in even when her body betrayed her. It would be interesting to see how long she could hold out before she shattered completely.
He sensed her grip relaxing and let go.
He saw it in her eyes, trust now and hope.
Had he given her hope?
It seemed almost preposterous that he could. But…
"T-Thanks, Ulquiorra."
"For what?" he was confused. Rukia had turned away but glanced back, "I can't say."
~*~
How could she thank him when she didn't even know herself what he had done? That didn't make sense.
It was strange though to see her walk away, he realized something…
He had never wanted something more nor longed to care for someone again until that moment.
~~~*~~~
AN: Thanks for reading and reviews are appreciated.
~Tease for the next chapter~
"Why did you have to leave me? Ulquiorra!"
~*~