I don't own Divergent.

very sorry for the lack of updates recently

as i've stated, this story is not my main focus!

and as for one review i saw that kind of made me mad: do not beg me for more. i will not cooperate, okay? i don't get paid for this. writing these fanfictions take time out of my life. i write them because i enjoy it. that's really rude, so please, don't do it. not to me, or not to any of my fellow writers on this website.

enjoy!

TW: abuse

Tris and I sat down at the table with everyone else as usual.

No one said one word to us.

No one even looked at us.

We simply talked to each other and acted as if everything was completely normal. There was something up with them, but I had no idea what it was.

"Guys, uhm," Christina said. "They found out."

Tris choked on her water. "What? I mean—found out about what? Us getting married? You already—"

Zeke looked at her. "We know you're pregnant."

Neither of us spoke.

Tris opened her mouth to speak, but instead closed it again. After a few moments, she swung her leg over the bench that we sat on and left, leaving me alone to explain this to.. well, everyone. Wonderful.

"So that's why you got married." Will observed, nodding slowly.

"Kind of,"

"And you're keeping it?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously?"

"Yes?"

I couldn't really understand why they were so shocked that we were keeping the baby. I mean, yes, a lot of this was completely unplanned, but Tris and I loved each other.

We would figure it out.

"How did you even find out?"

Zeke shrugged. "We went to your apartment and found the ultrasound thing, so we asked Christina about it, and she thought you had told us, which you didn't, and now we kind of know everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah."

"Zeke, do you mean everything as in—"

"We know your name."

"What?"

"Your name. It's Tobias, isn't it?"

I flinched at the very word, and his expression told me he knew he had made a mistake by saying it. I never flinched.

"I asked you not to break in again."

The very thing I had worked for years to keep a secret had been revealed in seconds. All because I hadn't got another lock for our door yet.

"I know, but we did, and I'm really, really sorry."

"You just had to know, didn't you?"

He looked down.

Uriah stepped in. "We don't care—"

"Yes, of course you care," I said. "You've spent years trying to get my name or something about me and finally, you succeeded. Why is it even that important?"

"You can still trust us—"

"No, I can't."

And then I left.

It was probably the best decision.

The only person I did trust was Tris right now.

I didn't go straight back to the apartment after leaving.

I sat by the chasm for at least two hours, thinking.

Zeke had never pressed me for my name, unlike the others. I trusted him the most. We'd always been inseparable. But could I really forgive him for this?

Or was I looking at this the wrong way?

Maybe they were telling the truth and had just accidentally stumbled upon the information. Maybe they had found the ultrasound, been excited, and then found something with my name on it. Tris wrote me notes all the time, and most were addressed to my real name.

"I'm sorry."

Zeke sat down beside me, arms crossed and pressed against his chest. His dark skin was even darker in the chasm's crappy lighting, dark black hair stuck up in spikes.

"I'm probably the last person you want to talk to," he said, laughing nervously. "But I feel like such a douchebag. We should've listened to you. We were just curious, Four. And then Will found a note from Tris with your name on it."

I was silent as he spoke.

His voice cracked. "I never wanted or needed to know your name. It's just a name. And I like Four better anyway. It suits you."

Finally, I turned to him but said nothing. He shook his head.

"I'm so sorry. I know I don't deserve your trust—or your friendship, for that matter. But, uhm, I want to be able to earn it again. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice.

"You won't lose me, Zeke," I said. "I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"For keeping so many damn secrets."

He laughed quietly.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, and it was not even close to uncomfortable. The chasm splashed up onto the wall beneath us, almost like it was throwing threats at us. I crossed my legs and ran a hand through my hair as Zeke sighed.

"A baby, dude."

"Yeah. A baby."

"That's one hell of a responsibility, y'know. Those things are whiny."

I laughed.

Very unexpectedly, he hugged me. It wasn't like Zeke to show affection. That was common with guys, from what I had seen my entire life. Especially since I'd once been Abnegation. When he let go, he congratulated me.

"I can't believe you're gonna be a dad!"

I shrugged. "I'm terrified."

"Why?"

"Marcus wasn't... he abused me, Zeke."

After a moment of gaping, he breathlessly ran a hand through his own hair and shook his head, before rubbing his face with his hands. I threw a rock down into the roaring water beneath us.

"They weren't rumors."

I shrugged.

He, like any other sane person, probably needed a minute to process this. Today, he'd found out more about me than he had ever known.

"I'm not a kicked puppy," I said. "I don't need apologies, Z."

"You've beat my ass several times. I know, trust me. I.. uhm, I just can't believe someone can do that to their kid. And in Abnegation? Wow."

I laughed. "Marcus has the whole faction at his side. And.."

He gave me a moment, just like I had for him.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I said, looking away. "When.. It's something about hearing a guy say my name—it freaks me out. And I do trust you.. I just.. I panicked."

He put an arm around my shoulder. "I won't say it again. I promise."

I hated to admit it, but it felt good to have some stuff off of my chest for the first time in a year or so.

Tris had been incredibly disappointed when I'd explained the situation to her.

Zeke, Uriah, and Will breaking into our apartment again was completely uncalled for, she claimed. And they had done it even after we'd asked them not to. I was disappointed too, believe me, but now.. I knew their intentions hadn't been to find my name.

Of course, there would be no way in hell I'd let them off easily.

Tris and I both went to dinner that night.

Zeke gifted Tris one of his French fries as soon as we sat down. "Congrats on the baby, Trissy Poo!"

"Thanks, Zeke," she grinned. "Have you finished ranking your initiates, Chris?"

Christina nodded. "Yeah. I don't like ranking them though. It always feels like I'm just being mean. Four, did you ever rank us unfairly? Like, say Tris got first because you liked her."

"No." I said. "If I had ranked you unfairly, you would've been last, Christina."

She threw a biscuit at me.

"Alright!" I yelled, and the initiates hushed. "Today, you'll be given your final rankings for the first stage of initiation. Six?"

She turned the chalkboard around.

Anders

Lee

Parris

Luella

Caspian

Cordelia

Amory

Cleopatra

Franny

Before anyone could have too long of a conversation or burst into tears, Tris whistled, bringing them all to our attention once again. She explained that now, they'd be ranked with the Dauntless-borns, which definitely seemed to raise some concerns.

Uriah and Christina brought their group in minutes later, just as Tris and I were writing down the scores once again.

You could tell every initiate was nervous.

"And.. these are your scores," Uriah announced.

(A/N: bold are dauntless-borns, italics are transfers)

Anders

Rockwell

Merce

Lee

Leonie

Parris

Luella

Caspian

Agatha

Blue

Willis

Cordelia

Hero

Amory

Cleopatra

Anise

Franny

Franny looked absolutely devastated.

Out of the seventeen remaining initiates, she'd gotten last place. That had to hit her right in the gut, didn't it? To be fair, she hadn't worked very hard towards her supposed goals, but that was typical.

No one thought they ever really had to work for it.

The rest of the group were watching with incredibly relieved expressions plastered on their faces.

"However!" Christina yelled. "There will be no eliminations this year. These scores are purely for us to give you appropriate jobs and to let you know where you stand among your fellow initiates. Hard work pays off, may I remind you."

"What about injuries?!" Willis asked, his hair freshly dyed with green streaks.

I stepped up. "If you can recover quickly enough, any injuries will be dealt with. However, if you are permanently injured, we cannot assure you that you'll make it to the end."

"You just throw us out?" Anders gasped. "That's not fair."

"You chose Dauntless, and now we get to choose you." I said, quoting Amar—my initiation instructor. "Prove your worth, and we'll have no reason to get rid of you."